Carting the President. Fighting Cousins. 19-Team CFP.

Summary

Shutdown Fullcast – Episode: “Carting the President. Fighting Cousins. 19-Team CFP.”

Date: August 12, 2026
Hosts: Spencer Hall, Jason Kirk, Ryan Nanni, Holly Anderson, Michael Felder

Episode Overview

In this characteristically sprawling installment, the Shutdown Fullcast crew dives headlong into the true weirdness of 2026 sports: Kirk Cousins’ bizarre Raiders fight, the lore of Max Crosby, absurd presidential security mishaps, and the endless goofing of the College Football Playoff expansion discourse—while happily detouring into NBA nostalgia, quarterback butts, and the unique ecological niche of Josh Smith. It’s less a podcast than an audio group chat: part media analysis, part improv, deeply college football in method even when not explicitly about college football.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kirk Cousins vs. Max Crosby: The Practice Fight of the Summer

[00:00–14:00]

• The episode opens with a breakdown of Kirk Cousins, newly with the Raiders, getting in a practice fight with star pass rusher Max Crosby. The crew is baffled by Cousins’ decision to tangle with “literally one of the scariest players in football”—an enormous, heavily tattooed redhead still sore at being trapped on a middling team.
• “If you're going to get in a fight in Las Vegas, you want to pick a fight you can win ... Max Crosby is not that guy.” – Ryan Nanni [00:10]
• Jokes abound about Max Crosby’s mythical birth weight, two-X’s name spelling ("That’s like a flared lizard crest" – Jason Kirk [03:33]), and redhead anesthesia resistance.
• News reports suggest Cousins “charged” Crosby after Crosby batted down a pass, leaving the panel delighted at the absurdity of the scenario and the NFL’s quasi-zookeeper language (“This makes him sound like an aging rhino at the zoo.” – Jason Kirk [06:24]).

QB Culture, Teammate Dynamics & Kirk Cousins Lore

[14:00–22:00]

• Cousins’ unsuccessful bid for locker room alpha status is mocked, with Holly Anderson imagining Cousins framing the incident as a “Man of faith in the lion’s den” story.
• Max Crosby’s upbringing and on-field demeanor are dissected: “He has no ends and played at Eastern Michigan. This man is all hard times.” – Holly Anderson [11:04]
• The crew riffs on Cousins’ trophy case waiting for a Super Bowl trophy, his journey through “biker gang era” Vegas, and financial success (“He is bountifully blessed and has been for years.” – Holly Anderson [12:01]).
• The conversation pivots to a digression on quarterback butts, NFL quarterback powertrains (“Go look up Dan Marino's ass and tell me.” – Holly Anderson [14:35]), and career arcs.

NBA Tangent: Josh Smith, Joe Johnson, and Horny Hawks Lore

[20:32–26:48]

• Deep dive into Atlanta Hawks history, Josh Smith’s legendary insistence on shooting threes, Joe Johnson’s on-court/millionaire off-court contrast, and the idealism-versus-realism split among sports fans.
• “He invested all his skill points in the total opposite tree.” – Ryan Nanni [22:44]
• Sidewinding jokes, Secret Base reference, and running basketball stat gags.

Fight Culture: College Football and Beyond

[27:02–32:01]

• Florida Gators practice fights and chippy August energy are detailed, drawing comparisons to Georgia’s “barely contained violence.”
• “It’s kind of like being a frontier saloon keeper.” – Spencer Hall [29:35]

Schedule Musings & Kennesaw State Hype

[30:26–33:09]

• SEC scheduling, the shifting sands of traditional rivalry weeks, Tennessee’s new slot against Kennesaw State, and Kennesaw's brief foray as “the new Gators.”

---

MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS

• On Kirk Cousins Seeking a Fight
  “Damn. Kirk’s 37. You can’t be getting fights, dude.” – Spencer Hall [01:33]
• On Max Crosby’s Motivation
  “I’m not happy that Kirk Cousins is on my team. I’m not happy about that. I don’t have to be.” – Spencer Hall [01:22]
• On College Football Locker Rooms
  “It’s barely contained violence between extremely competitive players.” – Holly Anderson [28:49]
• On Practice Fights as Leadership
  “I'm convinced Kirk Cousins came in and said, what would a leader do, right? He's like, no, not on my watch. Old Kirko Bangs says no tip passes.” – Holly Anderson [08:11]
• On Offseason Chippiness
  “This is the theme. It's August. Let's get froggy.” – Holly Anderson [27:03]

---

SPECIAL SEGMENTS & TIMESTAMPS

The President in the Plane Cart (35:19–52:28)

• The hosts discuss a report that the current president (Trump) was smuggled off Air Force One in a catering cart for security purposes, riffing on the absurdity, physical logistics, and stench.
• Thread examines whether the president knows about the “Maybe It Will Happen Today” meme.
• “Do you think anyone has ever… heard the phrase ‘maybe it will happen today’ and been like, wait, that’s about me and my heart maybe giving up?” – Spencer Hall [37:00]
• Extended bits about Andrew Lloyd Webber, presidential staff softly singing “Memory” from Cats to calm him, and the possibility that the story leaked to prevent a repeat (“I don't ever want to be… stuffed in dining cart ever again.” – Spencer Hall [47:33]).
• Holly’s observation: “Wet but never washed.” [45:16]

Podcast Business & Plugs (52:34–61:24)

• Turfman College Football Almanac – The preview is out; channel6.com, featuring content from dozens of contributors, seeking to capture football’s lived experience.
• On the preview’s contributor list: “People have asked why is everyone not in this? Some of our friends have real jobs.” – Jason Kirk [55:53]
• Business Models and College Football Media Gags
• Home Field Apparel ad, Vacation Bible School podcast update, Stephen Godfrey’s Phantom Island plug, fundraising note for a Yale-bound student, and Michael Felder’s band Killer Ants.

Playoff Expansion Absurdity: The 19-Team CFP

[71:36–79:21]

• The episode's late climax consists of the crew riffing on the ever-moving target for college football playoff expansion, mocking rumors of 20-team and then sincerely pushing a 19-team bracket as the ideal.
• “If they did a stupid number, I would respect that.” – Spencer Hall [73:13]
• The hosts intentionally create corporate-speak campaign for 19, satirizing the process and the media’s uncritical parroting.
• “19 is bespoke. 19 is human. Don’t you want a college football playoff that’s by humans, for humans?” – Spencer Hall [76:12]
• “Did you guys hear about the 19-team College Football Playoff?” – Fullcast Street Team call-to-action

---

FLOW OF THE EPISODE

• Sprawling, Joyous, and Deeply Self-Referential: The tone is part absurdist humor, part sports trivia dinner party. Callbacks and meta-commentary abound.
• Sports analysis is mostly a platform for riffing, character sketches (Max Crosby: “a man who has come up hard”), and weird historical asides.
• Surface topics include Raiders training camp, locker room dynamics, college football schedule quirks, playoff expansion debates—but the true subject is Fullcast-style cultural anthropology.

---

HEADINGS & STRUCTURE

• Overview
• Key Discussion Points & Insights
  • Kirk Cousins vs. Max Crosby
  • NFL Quarterback and Team Lore
  • NBA Tangents: The Josh Smith Era
  • College Football Practice Fights
  • Scheduling Oddities
• Memorable Quotes
• Special Segments
  • Carting the President
  • Podcast Business
  • College Football Playoff Expansion: 19 is the Number!
• Episode Flow & Tone
• Street Team Call-to-Action

---

FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT

• Missed the episode?
  You missed an hour-plus of unserious but deeply informed sports banter, peaking with Cousins/Crosby wrestling, long detours into basketball lore, American political farce, and a bravura sales pitch for the “magically just-right” 19-team College Football Playoff. If your ideal is less analysis and more improv—delivered at breakneck speed with wit and optimism—this was peak Fullcast.

---

STREET TEAM MISSION

[77:27]
If you’re listening, you’re now part of the “Fullcast 19-team Playoff” street team. Go spread the gospel. Post about it. Bring 19 to the world—because, as the Fullcast decreed: “The market has spoken, and it has said 19.”

Transcript

[Spencer Hall]

He's really made an interesting tour of his career here. Going from Washington, Minnesota, Kirk Cousins got

[Jason Kirk]

in a fight in Vegas.

[Ryan Nanni]

He got in a fight with, you know, like, if you're going to get in a fight in Las Vegas, you want to, like, you want to pick a fight you can win, right? You, like, I think you probably go around and you see, like, Max Crosby. That's the guy I'm going to get a fight with. You know, I like my odds there. Like, like big, big super tattooed, elite peak prime pass rusher who's just generally pissed off at everything in.

[Spencer Hall]

He probably doesn't really want to be there.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, I think, I think thought he finally got out.

[Spencer Hall]

I think was pretty happy when he thought he wasn't gonna have to be in Las Vegas anymore.

[Ryan Nanni]

He thought he was going to a much better team, but no, he's stuck there fighting an old man.

[Jason Kirk]

When was the fight?

[Spencer Hall]

In practice a couple days ago.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, I thought you meant this was years ago.

[Spencer Hall]

No, no.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, fun.

[Ryan Nanni]

No, I mean, who knows whose fault it was, but regardless, Kirk Cousins, you don't. You don't need to be out here like that.

[Spencer Hall]

No good Yahoo headline. Max Crosby said to have deliberately hit Kirk Cousins for a surprising reason. I hope the answer is because he had sonic rings inside of him.

[Jason Kirk]

If he accidentally hit him. And then we could make interception jokes, but we can't.

[Ryan Nanni]

I mean, I'm pretty sure this is just like, I'm pissed off at everything in my life. They didn't let me leave the Raiders,

[Spencer Hall]

so I'm not happy that Kirk Cousins is on my team. I'm not happy about that. And I don't have to.

[Ryan Nanni]

I was gonna get to chase Lamar around in practice every day, but now I just have this guy standing there. I'm so bored.

[Spencer Hall]

Damn. Kirk's 37. You can't be getting fights, dude. Come on. Stop it. Max Crosby.

[Jason Kirk]

God, I always forget he spells it with two X's.

[Spencer Hall]

28. 28. You can't be fighting a 28 year old.

[Jason Kirk]

That's crazy.

[Ryan Nanni]

28. Who's bigger than you? Whose job is fighting? Yeah, who's pissed off?

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, he's such a violent, like, he's such a violently redheaded person, though. I wonder if there's, you know how, like, redheads can't process anesthesia?

[Ryan Nanni]

I've never heard of that at all.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes. No, that's a real.

[Jason Kirk]

No, that's the real thing. They have to give me, like, they have to give me crazy amounts of drugs at the. Remember last year when I was Having, like, my jaw rebuilt, basically. They had to give me crazy amounts of anesthesia and, like, different kinds of anesthesia, because it's not because of the hair. It's like, if you. If you have red hair, you're more likely to have a certain set of genes that, like, you. You metabolize anesthesia differently.

[Michael Felder]

Huh.

[Jason Kirk]

So they had to give me A, more drugs and B, different drugs, like, to. This makes me sound.

[Michael Felder]

Hell, yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

You're not a jungle cat being transported.

[Spencer Hall]

This is here. Let's just test Spencer on the. Spencer, using your. Admittedly, and this is not a criticism, admittedly, limited knowledge of the Las Vegas Raiders roster, if you were going to get in a practice fight with a member of the LA Vegas Raiders, who would you not pick as your Max Crosby? Okay, great job.

[Ryan Nanni]

And Spencer, did you know or not that someone. Someone did this?

[Holly Anderson]

I did not know.

[Spencer Hall]

All right, all right.

[Ryan Nanni]

If you were to recommend the last person on the Raiders roster who should be getting in a fight with Max Crosby, who would that be?

[Spencer Hall]

That's right.

[Ryan Nanni]

There we have it.

[Holly Anderson]

I really didn't know.

[Spencer Hall]

Guess that's the.

[Holly Anderson]

Kirk, you got one leg, brother.

[Ryan Nanni]

Settle down, brother.

[Holly Anderson]

You're 75 and you got one leg.

[Ryan Nanni]

You don't want to be out here.

[Jason Kirk]

We got to get Danny Werfel to minister to him. He's got to start a. He's got to open a gym, a Christian gym or something.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, you go to this new team, and you're like, all right, they drafted number one pick, and Tom Brady's my boss. I gotta prove myself, you know, though.

[Holly Anderson]

You know that? Seriously, the speech Kirk Cousins is gonna try to cut off, this is gonna be incredible. Because he's like, hey, this. Hey, hey, listen, listen. I'm a man of faith, right? Right? I put my faith and my decisions, they're all in Jesus.

[Ryan Nanni]

Just like David and Goliath. There I was looking, you know, tattoos on Max Crosby.

[Holly Anderson]

As Christians, we talk about going into the lion's den. I went into the lion's den. I think that I fought Max Crosby.

[Ryan Nanni]

So, like, when. When Kirko Bangs was here, he had his, like, I'm gonna quote my teammates, rap songs era, right? So now in Vegas, he's going to be like, this is my biker gang era. This is my leather guy era.

[Holly Anderson]

Don't, don't. Hey, listen, don't work yourself into a shoot, Kirk. Don't. Don't ride too hard for biker culture.

[Spencer Hall]

Do not.

[Holly Anderson]

You'll get a match.

[Ryan Nanni]

All things through Christ who strengthens me, brother.

[Spencer Hall]

Now, you also might be Thinking like, okay, well how do we, you know, not to cast blame, but like, how do we get here? Maybe Max Crosby just sort of like, you know, lost his. Nope. Kirk cousin started jawing him. Max Crosby and grabbed his. And grabbed his collar.

[Ryan Nanni]

Who's Alpha and Spencer? Like we were saying, this isn't just Max Crosby. This isn't just like literally one of the scariest players in all of football. This is a pissed off Max Crosby who thought he'd finally escaped.

[Holly Anderson]

Can I tell you something?

[Jason Kirk]

Max Crosby, who's had to be in full sun in Las Vegas for a

[Holly Anderson]

chunk of his football career, this is a pissed off. It's a pissed off and sober Max Crosby. Do you know how mad a sober person in recovery is when they're playing football? They have nothing to take the edge off. Nothing other than you, Kirk.

[Ryan Nanni]

Then choke slamming Kirk Cousins.

[Holly Anderson]

They're gonna smooth all those edges out on you.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm pretty sure I've made this reference before, but having your name spelled with two X's in a non Thunderdome capacity here, I don't want to say in the real world because Thunderdome is real. I think we can all agree on that. But that's like a flared lizard crest or like a red stripe on a

[Ryan Nanni]

snake or like every AOL screen name with X's on the outside of the name.

[Spencer Hall]

Now I'm happy to report.

[Jason Kirk]

Do not engage.

[Spencer Hall]

Now I'm happy to report. Thanks to NFL.com I have in more details about this practice fight. So you're probably thinking, all right, well like Kirk Cousins, pretty level headed guy, maybe something happened, maybe something like really set him off to make him like go after Max CROSBY. And again, NFL.com is making clear that he, quote, charged the 6 foot 5, 256 pound defensive end who is 3 inches taller and 42 pounds heavier. Okay, younger.

[Ryan Nanni]

You're younger.

[Spencer Hall]

And what could have caused this?

[Jason Kirk]

This makes him sound like this is written in a way that suggests he's like an aging rhino at the zoo.

[Spencer Hall]

Huh?

[Ryan Nanni]

Kirk Cousins possessed by a demon for exactly eight seconds.

[Spencer Hall]

So what? What could have driven Kirk Cousins to this madness?

[Jason Kirk]

Ultimately, there's no way to know.

[Spencer Hall]

According to the NFL, the 37 year old quarterback appeared upset that Crosby tipped his pass, forcing an incomplete.

[Ryan Nanni]

Buddy, man, if Kirk Cousins go get in a fight every time one of his passes ends up somewhere, it shouldn't. This man's a heavyweight champion by now.

[Holly Anderson]

He's gonna look like Randy Marsh by the end of spring and the summer practice.

[Spencer Hall]

I gotta tell you. So, all right, both of Them got held out of practice on the next day, I think on Saturday as a result. And I gotta turn out, why.

[Jason Kirk]

Why do you hold Max out for that?

[Spencer Hall]

I think the idea is we're not trying to pick sides and neither one of you should be fighting in practice and you're both leaders of the team.

[Ryan Nanni]

It's also there's a degree of quarterback privilege, you know.

[Spencer Hall]

Sure.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, you should be. Like, you should. You should have your hand on the quarterback's forehead holding him at length.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Quarterbacks aren't real football players have to

[Jason Kirk]

say something nice to each other.

[Spencer Hall]

Mike Felder joined the podcast.

[Michael Felder]

I just have to say it for Felder. He's not here. But quarterbacks aren't football players, I gotta say. Specialists just like kickers and punters.

[Jason Kirk]

Back to that. In podcast business, for reasons I will

[Ryan Nanni]

reveal, it is very funny dude in a no contact jersey charging at someone. What are you supposed to do about that?

[Spencer Hall]

I think. I think Kirk Cousins made a calculated choice and said, I want to practice on Saturday. I'm gonna see if I can get kicked out.

[Holly Anderson]

So this is that suspension. Okay. I think the fight was probably. I know it was on several levels, a fight, different fight for different people. I'm convinced Kirk Cousins came in and said, what would a leader do, right? He's like, no, not on my watch. Old Kirk O.

[Spencer Hall]

Bang says no tip passes. And.

[Holly Anderson]

And that was his whole thing. Like, he's going to go after the biggest guy knowing full well that Max Crosby was not going to whip his ass. Okay.

[Spencer Hall]

Because Max Crosby, I assume Max Crosby is like, listen, Trey Dell is not here. I can still get the. Out here.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

So.

[Ryan Nanni]

So Fernando Mendoza, the Raiders rookie quarterback, is. He was most recently paired with Diego Pavia, the 4 foot 2 bad guy quarterback. Right? And he's like, oh, thank God I'm out of that nut house now I'm here with serene, boring, sane Kirk Cousins, who's just gonna be my dad for a year and then leave. No weird stuff, no Pavia type stuff is gonna go on.

[Spencer Hall]

Dad's going over the best buy count. Oh, no.

[Ryan Nanni]

Dad, come back.

[Holly Anderson]

Dad is not handling TRT well.

[Jason Kirk]

How am I just now finding out that Kirk Cousins is sda?

[Spencer Hall]

Is he? I had no idea.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, Jason said Saturday was the Sabbath, so I just assumed.

[Ryan Nanni]

There you go.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, okay. Got it. Is he? I don't know.

[Holly Anderson]

I. I don't.

[Ryan Nanni]

Oh, I was.

[Spencer Hall]

NFL.com didn't say so.

[Ryan Nanni]

That would surprise me.

[Holly Anderson]

That would be a great. That's a great aside, isn't it? Right. Kirk Cousins, comma, sda, like, he has

[Jason Kirk]

a focus on the family bio page.

[Ryan Nanni]

And I some sort of assume that

[Jason Kirk]

they think SDA is satanic.

[Michael Felder]

Whatever.

[Ryan Nanni]

He is some sort of big box charismatic without question.

[Jason Kirk]

All right.

[Holly Anderson]

One of them. Best Buy charismatic.

[Jason Kirk]

Box charismatic right now.

[Holly Anderson]

So I assume that was. By the way, that was cousin's motivation. Crosby's was. I'm Max Crosby. I get mad at things. That's my job at quarterback, specifically. I have a Serbian mom, and I was 11. Over 11 pounds at birth. This is what I do. Right. And. But by the way, all things that are true, his name is Max M A X, X. Because he gave birth to a long boat. Right.

[Ryan Nanni]

If you looked at every player in the current NFL and you had to pick out 10 who were most likely to be signed by the WWE, Max Crosby would be five, three.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, he came with the name Brother.

[Jason Kirk]

Like, he's been like that. It's all. It does what it says on the tin.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, he's already got a bit. He's already sold.

[Ryan Nanni]

Right.

[Holly Anderson]

He's. That's.

[Ryan Nanni]

By the way, beats up old men. The legend.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. Eastern Michigan. Eastern Michigan's finest.

[Spencer Hall]

He got that name, apparently, because of how big he was when he was.

[Holly Anderson]

But his birth, he was over £11. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Oh, I. I didn't make that. So it's like. So it's like, without question, opposite size. Baby would be named Fun size. But this kid.

[Spencer Hall]

Right, right, right.

[Ryan Nanni]

But this kid named Supersize, he got

[Spencer Hall]

the, like, European description of an extra large, basically. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Michael Felder]

And this is.

[Holly Anderson]

This is a man who has, you know, come up hard. Like, he did not come from, like, football royalty. He does not have, you know, a lineage. He has no ends and played at emu.

[Ryan Nanni]

You think he doesn't know hard time?

[Michael Felder]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

This.

[Holly Anderson]

This man is all. This man is living hard times.

[Spencer Hall]

Someone states at ivory tower compared to that kid.

[Holly Anderson]

So when Kirk Cousins, who's had a trouble in his house since high school,

[Ryan Nanni]

where he was like, fancy boys up

[Spencer Hall]

in Michigan State, that's where Jesus and

[Holly Anderson]

I are gonna put the super bowl trophy.

[Ryan Nanni]

Right.

[Holly Anderson]

This is in the documentary Quarterbacks, Okay. On Netflix. You can go look. He has a trophy case that's ready for the Super Bowl. It's waiting for the Lombardi Trophy. Right? For the Lombardi Trophy. It's, like, right there.

[Ryan Nanni]

Another year for it gets there.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. And when that guy comes up. Right.

[Spencer Hall]

Assigned with the Raiders, if that's what I'm trying to do. But okay. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

From Michigan, by the way, like, not.

[Spencer Hall]

Let's See the Falcons either.

[Holly Anderson]

Frankly, same region, but very different neighborhood.

[Ryan Nanni]

Mountains or the Vikings. That's more than a damn mountain.

[Spencer Hall]

For what it's worth.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, we all. We all know Kirk's treasures lie in another heaven. His bank account.

[Jason Kirk]

Thank you, Mario.

[Ryan Nanni]

He is truly bountifully blessed.

[Holly Anderson]

He is bountifully blessed and has been for years.

[Ryan Nanni]

That cup runneth over in that bank. But for doing.

[Holly Anderson]

Damn.

[Ryan Nanni]

Not a damn thing either. Damn.

[Holly Anderson]

Hey, listen, don't.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah, to be clear, he's been an above average quarterback for like 35 years.

[Spencer Hall]

He's.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm actually glad you clarified this because it took three or four pyramid leaps there for me to realize you guys weren't saying he's got a big ass. And I was like, I've never noticed that.

[Ryan Nanni]

Huh?

[Spencer Hall]

I think he has a normal ass.

[Ryan Nanni]

It might have been like, during his, like, month as, like, Kurt Cobangs in his Atlanta era. He padded that out a little bit.

[Holly Anderson]

He did. He did. We helped him.

[Spencer Hall]

So. So I want to be clear. Kirk Cousins has a space for the Lombardi Trophy and to date has won one playoff game, which was in 2019.

[Holly Anderson]

It's waiting, though. He's ready.

[Jason Kirk]

You know the great thing about Googling Kirk Cousins butt.

[Ryan Nanni]

What's that?

[Jason Kirk]

Is that you get two things. One, it says, did you mean bum? As the AOL.com headline, Kirk Cousins bum rushes Matt Crosby. And then if you click over to video, you get a video entitled Kirk that's the wrong butt from when he lined up in the wrong place in a vikings game in 2021. Yeah, I'll keep you guys posted as there's Warren.

[Ryan Nanni]

Not too many Gooners looking up Kirk.

[Holly Anderson]

There's one.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm willing to say this one, but not none.

[Jason Kirk]

And they're pro. But if there's one, if there is one Kirk Cousins gooning hive, it's probably in Vegas, right?

[Spencer Hall]

Or maybe on Threads. Could be on Threads.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah, Anything is on Threads.

[Jason Kirk]

We'll never know.

[Holly Anderson]

I'm not going to survive.

[Ryan Nanni]

Of scum and villainy.

[Holly Anderson]

There was this very dystopian article about gooners having these sessions where they kind of like shared goon material, and when they did, they would try to outdo each other. And I'm telling you the person so

[Jason Kirk]

I can screen cap you like that.

[Holly Anderson]

The person who wins this one of these sessions is the one who, it's like, really weird thing, really weird thing, horrible thing. And then the last one, it's like Kirk Cousins in an Atlanta Falcons uniform. They're all like, oh, he did it. He won.

[Ryan Nanni]

This guy's too far gone. We can't compete with this.

[Holly Anderson]

Boot him from the Discord server.

[Spencer Hall]

You're right. That is a weak butt.

[Michael Felder]

Oh, he's got a weak butt.

[Holly Anderson]

There's nothing I don't know.

[Jason Kirk]

Where's he pulling his. Where's his powertrain, I guess is what I'm asking.

[Ryan Nanni]

So this is 2018.

[Holly Anderson]

So this is a weird. This is a weird thing. Hardest thrower among NFL quarterbacks legendarily was Dan Marino. Go look up Dan Marino's ass. That is a sentence I want you to quote me.

[Ryan Nanni]

He has that as well.

[Holly Anderson]

Go look at Dan Marino's ass and tell me.

[Jason Kirk]

But this could be the earliest another Damarino got ever done.

[Ryan Nanni]

I don't remember. Hey, by 80s white guy standards, those are haunches.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah, he's got a bit of a donk on him.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

All right.

[Spencer Hall]

Your memory has eluded you. I'll drop.

[Holly Anderson]

I think I'm remembering. I think I'm remembering old Dan Marino.

[Michael Felder]

No, no, he's very correct. You are remembering. I'm seeing a picture here of Dan Reno lying on the ground. And these are the Disney logo uniforms. This is post 96.

[Holly Anderson]

This is an era we have a little double bubble.

[Ryan Nanni]

That's the first.

[Michael Felder]

There's just nothing going on.

[Holly Anderson]

Nothing there. Okay.

[Ryan Nanni]

Cuz he's depleted.

[Holly Anderson]

But sh.

[Michael Felder]

Here's a Shula pick of him and Duper celebrating. And he's got quite a donk on him. So maybe it could have been like the. The years of, you know, getting knocked on his ass or cocaine use that minimize his donk.

[Ryan Nanni]

But you know what I just think.

[Holly Anderson]

No, you know what I think it was. It was beer and boat life, right. He's just sitting on the boat, he's drinking beer. The whole thing's just atrophying and that.

[Michael Felder]

They're doing a lot of rails to that. And that wasn't just Miami thing.

[Spencer Hall]

Sure.

[Holly Anderson]

That proud. Well, that proud Pittsburgh patootie, right. The like fry fed fanny has just sagged and he's just. He's normal at that point. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

I mean, I think he fucking deserved it, whatever he might have been up to.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

As long as it. As long as no one got hurt like that. This man was out here passing for 17,000 yards a season to no avail.

[Michael Felder]

He played for the same team for 15 years and they didn't draft him a single fucking running back for like, how rude that is.

[Spencer Hall]

No. And then immediately after he left, they were like, yeah, running back.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah, let's trade everything For Ricky Williams,

[Holly Anderson]

you get Bernie Parmalee again. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like he might have been the greatest football player ever. And yeah, we'll go unacknowledged forever also.

[Holly Anderson]

Amazing Tipper, like fantastic Tipper. Great dude. Like 100% our best lummox quarterback. This is.

[Spencer Hall]

He did have Reggie. He did have Reggie Roby though. So like it wasn't all.

[Ryan Nanni]

He did have a weapon.

[Spencer Hall]

Difficult, you know.

[Ryan Nanni]

Did have a true weapon.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, he's, he's. Listen, he beat the Chicago Bears, but

[Spencer Hall]

he had a decent, respected respect.

[Michael Felder]

Needs to go to Duper and Clayton, those. That was like, that was one of the first like super solid NFL receiving duos because like the Niners had Jerry Rice and Dwight Clark. That was theirs. Nothing else really like comes to mind for me from that era. Like everybody else has had like a go to guy and the other team that had it was the Dolphins with Dupre.

[Ryan Nanni]

The Niners had like every position is

[Holly Anderson]

their running back was a good wide receiver.

[Spencer Hall]

This is why they beat the Dolphins

[Michael Felder]

in the Super Bowl.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Dolphins are in the Super Bowl.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

It went really well.

[Michael Felder]

It wasn't alive. It's. It's fine.

[Jason Kirk]

So.

[Michael Felder]

No, not that I remember. They. They weren't like.

[Ryan Nanni]

It really is young and beautiful. If you extrapolate like his best season, it really is like someone these days throwing for 9,000 yards and not winning

[Holly Anderson]

the title in a prehistoric offense. Like.

[Spencer Hall]

But do you know who would have done that at the peak of his powers? Kirk Cousins. Kirk Cousins absolutely had a 7,000 yard season where you're like. And they finished 6 and 11.

[Ryan Nanni]

That went nowhere. That was that one Vikings season where it was like they're like 12 and 1 or something and everyone is like, everyone is like, this is bullshit. This is not real.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Do you, do you remember who they

[Ryan Nanni]

lost to in the playoffs? Yeah, it was that stupid fucking game where it was like 4th and 3 and he threw a 2 yard.

[Spencer Hall]

These are the 20, 22 Minnesota Vikings. They finished 13 and 4 and they were first in the NFC North. And everybody was like to Jason's point was like, I don't know about this. And then they lost to Danny Dimes in the fucking nine, seven, nine, seven and one. New York Giants.

[Jason Kirk]

Let's get them.

[Spencer Hall]

Danny on a fourth down pass where Kirk Cousins didn't even throw it to the sticks.

[Holly Anderson]

Ryan can answer me two questions. Was that before or after Danny Dimes got his massive bank breaking deal that he had no way deserved?

[Spencer Hall]

I think it's before. I think that's like maybe right before.

[Holly Anderson]

So you're trying to tell me Kirk Cousins was so good at getting the bag, he actually helped another quarterback back. Get the back.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. 100.

[Holly Anderson]

All right, cool. 2. Who was the coach of that Minnesota Vikings team that.

[Spencer Hall]

So. So that's not the issue because it was Kevin o', Connell. Who's still Kevin o' Connell and is still doing.

[Ryan Nanni]

I was like, doing.

[Holly Anderson]

I was like, please say it was Mike Zimmer just because Mike Zimmer is the best. Because he would go like team meetings and be like, you're all terrible people. I hate you. You're a disgrace to your families and wives.

[Ryan Nanni]

You're the Vikings, is all it's saying. So speaking of a lineage of quarterbacks gathering bags, I want to lift up Danny Dimes here because this man is getting paid.

[Spencer Hall]

Get paid again.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, had like nine good games with the Colts and they're, ah, this is our guy. So we might. We might have the next Kirko right here.

[Spencer Hall]

That's. That's how unpleasant it is to have Anthony Richardson on your rost. Give all the money here. Get it over. Danny can have it. Oh, my God.

[Michael Felder]

Hey.

[Holly Anderson]

Hey. That man was given mentorship and guidance by Billy Napier. Quarterback whisper. Billy Napier.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

It's not his fault, but yeah, Kirk Cousins just was like, had a stretch here 2016, threw for almost 5,000 yards for. For Washington. You know what? They went 8, 7 and 1.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Michael Felder]

You like that?

[Holly Anderson]

He's awesome. I know we're sitting here making fun of him, but I'm like, this, is this, is this rules. It was awesome, too, because if he gets into a playoff game or an important scenario, there's no stress. I know it's not going to work.

[Spencer Hall]

There's just so much. There's so much Kirk Cousins. I think there's.

[Ryan Nanni]

There's the kind of mid NFL quarterback who's like, you're going to get what you get week in and week out. It's going to be the same Blair thing. That is not Kurt Co. Who was the Atlanta. You're going to have highs and lows that balance out.

[Spencer Hall]

Who is the Atlanta Hawk who couldn't stop shooting threes even though he wasn't that good at shooting threes?

[Holly Anderson]

Josh Smith.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Your job is to dunk.

[Jason Kirk]

Right?

[Spencer Hall]

Right.

[Holly Anderson]

Go dunk from Jeep.

[Ryan Nanni]

And it was like, it was a thing for like eight years of unrelenting shower.

[Holly Anderson]

And by year four, it was like, let it fly, King. Yeah, that's right. Don't let it fly.

[Ryan Nanni]

You have Joe Johnson, whose job is to stand 15 foot from the basket and score exactly 23 points per game.

[Holly Anderson]

10, 10 boards.

[Ryan Nanni]

You are Josh Smith, and you're shooting from 10ft behind Joe Johnson. You should be dunking.

[Jason Kirk]

Josh Smith's era was not too long after I. Like, he was. He was with the Hawks when I moved to Atlanta. And this is by far the most I've ever known about the Atlanta Hawks. Not because I was watching their games, but because ambiently, people would just be talking about it wherever I was. Like this, this was like the coffee shop bar convo that you were just overheared and just over and over, people were just like, what the hell?

[Ryan Nanni]

I just realized I'm wearing a Hawks hat from that era as we speak. Like, it was my favorite run in Hawks history because it was just like, oh, my fucking God. Every single night you're gonna get Joe Johnson matriculating nothing efficiently. You remember nothing, and then you're like, oh, good game. What a good game he had. Whereas Josh Smith, wildly memorable in every direction. Like, one of my favorite athletes ever. You literally never knew what you were incredible.

[Jason Kirk]

I had to go and look because I was like, man, it's weird that, like, John never did a video at this about this, but no, Josh Smith is in the Secret Base hall of Fame. Thank you, Joeli.

[Holly Anderson]

I have friends who are sports idealists, and I have sports who are friends or friends who are sports realists. And sports realists are the ones who look at Josh Smith after he's decided to be a three point shooter. And in year three, they're like, this is awesome. Like in year one, they're like, this is crazy. The fuck are you doing, dude? You know? And they're like, upset about it. And then like, year three, they're like, this is the coolest shit. Yeah, man, let it fly. And then I have sports idealists, right? Who, who in even in year six, they're like, why?

[Spencer Hall]

What are you doing?

[Holly Anderson]

And I'm like, what a miserable way to go through life. He's never changing.

[Spencer Hall]

He's going to be what?

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, like, it's. It's not that he was a bad player. It is that he invested all of his skill points in the total opposite tree. He should have never been behind the three point line.

[Holly Anderson]

No. What are you doing back there? I don't know. Cool stuff, man. You're doing cool stuff.

[Spencer Hall]

Hey, but you know what? He didn't fight Max Crosby.

[Ryan Nanni]

There's all these memes of, like, the Punisher getting in sort of all sorts of wild situations, fighting the Hulk and fighting Moby Dick and Like, whatever. And they're all like, punisher. Fight anybody else. Kirk Cousins, this is. Now you fight somebody else.

[Jason Kirk]

Okay. I completely lost track of Josh Smith after he became. After he became not a Hawk. And I did not. I'm scanning through this. This story from Jo Ali on secret base for 2021. Hi, Joe. I did not know why Josh Smith was in the Secret Base hall of Fame. It's not even because of that. He had a. I did not know about his Charlie Weiss deal with the Pistons.

[Holly Anderson]

No. This is so good.

[Jason Kirk]

Where? In the 2013 off season. I'm just reading now. Smith signed the most expensive free agent contract in Pistons history when he inked a four year, $54 million deal. It was an immediate disaster. He played 105 games with the team, was waived in 2014, and was on their books until 2020.

[Ryan Nanni]

My guy. That's my guy. Long range, always.

[Jason Kirk]

That's like. That's a 1.5 turn of the century. Notre Dame coaches were j.

[Ryan Nanni]

Smooth from deep inside the bank account,

[Jason Kirk]

deep in the vault.

[Holly Anderson]

Dude, the Hawks were awesome back then because, like, Joe, because. Because we. We had Joe, right? We had ISO. Joe and Joe Johnson. This is what I remember. He had a big truck. And everyone on the Hawks were like, dude, Joe's got a huge house. I got lost at Joe's house. Like, there were multiple shit. There were multiple interviews where people were like, so, man, how's practice today? And they would just be like, dude, he's got a pool inside a pool. I don't even know how that's possible.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, like, dude got paid, like, you know, lots of money, even by, you know, NBA All Star standards. Because, like, you find a guy who's going to give you exactly 22 and 8 every single night for the rest of eternity, you take him a lot of money.

[Holly Anderson]

Take him. Yeah. And. And even then, the focus was always like, man, Joe is so rich. They're like, yeah, he got 25 and 15 last night. They're like, yeah, that's true. Did you know he owns the biggest fish tank in North America?

[Jason Kirk]

Wait, is that true? No.

[Holly Anderson]

No.

[Ryan Nanni]

Probably. I'm so excited.

[Michael Felder]

It was.

[Ryan Nanni]

It was the funny contrast between what a boring player. He was literally named Joe Johnson with, like, extravagant.

[Holly Anderson]

They were like, off the, like, off the court, it was like, I have found Ozymandias. He is real and he lives in Marietta.

[Ryan Nanni]

And he has the most stereotypically plain name. And his buddy is named Josh Smith. Like, these two wild eccentrics with the most forgettable names possible. So Then Mike Woodson with no eyebrows, man, what a team that was.

[Holly Anderson]

What. What a moment.

[Ryan Nanni]

Shaved his eyebrows, told nobody what the bet was that he lost.

[Holly Anderson]

Real ball. Real ball.

[Spencer Hall]

So, like, all the best NBA players, all time at shooting. Three pointers are in the, like, 42 to 45 range. Like, Steph Curry's at 421, Steve Nash for 4. 428. Steve Kerr is the leader with 454. And then you go down and you're like, okay, there are still talented guys who you're like, all right, Josh Green is here at 387. Tori and Prince at 386. Like you. Jalen Brunson's at 385.

[Holly Anderson]

Like, still good numbers, guys, where you're like, pick him up. Get out there and pick him up. Yeah, sure.

[Spencer Hall]

Josh Smith, in his NBA career, shot 1578, three pointers and made 28.5% of them.

[Ryan Nanni]

It was awesome. And also, there was a. There was a meme for a while where it was like, him in a video at practice, and somebody lobs one, and you hear Smith call out, bet is broken, and it clangs off the rim. He knows a bad shot when he sees it because

[Holly Anderson]

no one has done more time in the bad shot simulator.

[Ryan Nanni]

That looks like one of mine.

[Holly Anderson]

Legend. Absolute legend. Oh, but the Hawks wasted payroll on him. I have news for you.

[Ryan Nanni]

It ain't my money.

[Spencer Hall]

Money's not real.

[Holly Anderson]

Money's not real. This is. Listen, I'm so glad we started off with fights in practice. I am. This is the theme. It's August. Let's get froggy. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Let's get a little feisty.

[Ryan Nanni]

Let's.

[Holly Anderson]

Let's do it. Let's do what the Gators did. They got three fights in practice, and John Sumrall's like, this is why you're 4 and 8.

[Jason Kirk]

I can't believe I'm giving a tiny bit away of our Patreon episode that just came out when we were. They asked for bold predictions, and somewhat goofily, I said the Gators were going to regret getting rid of Billy Napier, and I already wish I could take that back. And it is August 11, because that came out. I. I think we recorded that episode, like, the day before. I heard that Summerall had said this in practice, so sorry about that. This is clearly the man for the job.

[Holly Anderson]

I. I love. I love any coach who just is like, you guys are shit. I'm being paid a lot of money, and I want to tell you today, you guys are garbage.

[Jason Kirk]

I'M not comparing the two in any way other than this. But the. But the you. All it got you was 4 and 8. Has a little bit of the Saban, I'm gonna go sit on the dock speech.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, I like, I will go kill myself if you continue to play this way.

[Ryan Nanni]

The coach who's not like, I love the chippiness. I love the fire, the feistiness, the competitiveness. The coach is just like, this is stupid.

[Jason Kirk]

Spencer, can I ask you what happened immediately after he made that speech, per the practice report?

[Holly Anderson]

Believe they got in another fight, Holly.

[Jason Kirk]

I worried. I wasn't worried about the Gators before, boys. I'm worried now.

[Ryan Nanni]

God damn it. These morons.

[Jason Kirk]

No, I mean it like that. That made me glance at the calendar and be like, when did we play them?

[Ryan Nanni]

There's, like, a cartoon cloud of limbs behind him at all times, and he's

[Jason Kirk]

just got a little dark spiral furniture

[Ryan Nanni]

flying out of it and cats. Cats hissing.

[Holly Anderson]

And, I mean, that follows like. Like Kirby's model, right? Which people are like, man, can't Kirby control that program? And the real question is, I think a certain element of the Georgia program has all along been this kind of, like, barely contained violence between extremely competitive players. Like the story about the guy, the transfer, coming in and telling a player who farted in the huddle to be respectful, right? Player goes in, cuts a massive fart. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm a leader. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you not to do that. And then dude steps up the farter and knocks the guy, you know, out. Like, just absolutely clocks him. And Kirby's reaction, according to the clip I saw, was, oh, geez. Oh, come on. I got. And I.

[Spencer Hall]

It's kind of like being a frontier saloon keeper. God damn it.

[Jason Kirk]

There's always just bodies flying in and out of frame. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

A frontier saloon keeper in the police state that is Athens, where, like, there's 35 bounty hunters right outside the saloon.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, that's. We tend to think of these guys

[Jason Kirk]

like, the Old west is all alleys, man. Shit.

[Holly Anderson]

Right? How many Athens policemen were in Deadwood? Geez, man, there's no telling.

[Jason Kirk]

Now, listen, even that's not fair. That's not fair. You might think that they were there because they really love arresting people, but actually, they just love casual racism.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

It's actually true that my male colleagues are holding. Holding me back on this show.

[Ryan Nanni]

It's so true. It's a conspiracy that we all plot and scheme.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, geez. Just these disciplinarians These leaders of men.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, Spence, we don't play each other this year. What are we gonna do?

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, it'll be so relaxing. Do you know.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, y' all go to auburn on the 19th?

[Spencer Hall]

Do you know who you. Do you know who you play instead on in that traditional spot?

[Jason Kirk]

I just noticed.

[Spencer Hall]

Yep.

[Ryan Nanni]

Who we got respectively be.

[Jason Kirk]

We gotta get Wes Byram. If you're out there, call in who we got.

[Holly Anderson]

We got Auburn.

[Jason Kirk]

You are at Auburn.

[Spencer Hall]

That's not. That's. That's not who I'm talking about, though.

[Jason Kirk]

He doesn't know what was happening the week after that.

[Spencer Hall]

Tennessee, September 19th host.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, I thought you meant who. Oh, I thought you meant who Florida was playing.

[Spencer Hall]

No, no, no, no, no. Who. Who is Tennessee playing the week that you would expect them to play Florida? I don't go.

[Jason Kirk]

Look, I don't really want to talk about the future.

[Spencer Hall]

Holly, you will be delighted. You're trying to tear this.

[Jason Kirk]

I know who we're talking about. You're going to tear this show apart before you even leave. You're trying every week to make the schedule.

[Spencer Hall]

I didn't make.

[Jason Kirk]

I didn't have espionage.

[Spencer Hall]

Kennesaw State goes to Knoxville on September 19th.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Y' all fighting for the honor of Florida State. The new Gators are out.

[Ryan Nanni]

You know, not the first time Sully our fucking name. We won a conference title in the past decade.

[Jason Kirk]

Thank you.

[Holly Anderson]

Hey, it's legal to shoot those. No, it's not.

[Spencer Hall]

What?

[Ryan Nanni]

Owls.

[Jason Kirk]

What?

[Holly Anderson]

No.

[Spencer Hall]

No conference titles. I don't think that's true.

[Holly Anderson]

It's not true at all.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay, let's start the show. Sorry? You said, let's start the show, and then we did this. False.

[Holly Anderson]

Fans might not be up on their license hunts. That's what I'm saying.

[Jason Kirk]

What? Okay, just say welcome. There's no need to be nasty.

[Spencer Hall]

Just say welcome.

[Holly Anderson]

Welcome.

[Michael Felder]

Shut down. Wow.

[Holly Anderson]

To the shutdown. Full cast.

[Spencer Hall]

Josh Smith for three.

[Ryan Nanni]

Ben is broke. Cousin straps back.

[Holly Anderson]

Is it a playoff?

[Ryan Nanni]

Oh, no.

[Holly Anderson]

I am Spencer Hall. I am host of this show, allegedly and proprietor of Channel six newsletters, and author of a very. For one of the authors of a very exciting college football preview we're going to talk about. Joining me is Phantom Island's own Ryan. Nanny. Say hi, Ryan.

[Spencer Hall]

Hi, Ryan.

[Holly Anderson]

Jason Kirk of the New York Times Corporation, the Until Saturday newsletter and one

[Ryan Nanni]

of the hosts of the show.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. Hey. Holly Anderson, co proprietor over at Channel 6.

[Ryan Nanni]

And yes, this is such an extensive intro that you've started doing lately.

[Holly Anderson]

I know, I know.

[Jason Kirk]

I love it.

[Holly Anderson]

And also the. The person who made that college football preview happen, along with a couple of other people. Host of a cast of 30 to 40 people. Too long. And Michael Ray Serber. Technical genius. Actual genius.

[Jason Kirk]

My fault. This is my fault because I pointed out a couple weeks ago that when you say that I'm Spencer, that's Ryan, that's Jason. You can see them.

[Holly Anderson]

This is someone's first podcast and they've already stopped listening.

[Ryan Nanni]

So years ago, I would usually throw in like, hello, like, put a.

[Jason Kirk]

And then we all just gave up eventually because there is no stopping.

[Ryan Nanni]

I mean, I agree. It is good to sort of, like, associate names with people at times.

[Jason Kirk]

Anyway, this is my fault because I happened to mention this to him, like, two weeks ago, and I guess it's stuck in his craw because now he's doing this instead.

[Holly Anderson]

We are the shutdown full cast. Hi, ce. Internet's only college football podcast.

[Jason Kirk]

So try and say it together at the same time like on a local commercial.

[Holly Anderson]

The Internet's only college football podcast.

[Jason Kirk]

We're here for you. For men.

[Holly Anderson]

For men.

[Spencer Hall]

We're here to believe you.

[Jason Kirk]

So we're here to believe men.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right. Finally, someone will. Can I start by potentially getting our show, and all of us individually, into great legal and physical danger?

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, we're at 35 minute mark. We all love one of your patented opening.

[Spencer Hall]

This is not a game. This one's not a game, actually. So I assume. I assume everybody on. On this show and most people listening to this show are familiar with the maybe it will happen today meme.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah, funny story.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah, I know that one.

[Jason Kirk]

So that guy did the art for the new Channel 6 refresh.

[Spencer Hall]

So we will get to that. Yeah, I think the most recent one I've seen is. Is that one, which is a recreation of.

[Jason Kirk]

What is it?

[Spencer Hall]

The Duran Duran Rio album cover. Maybe it will happen today. For people who don't know what I'm talking about is a sort of idle Internet way to wonder if today, the day in which you're saying maybe it will be that day, will be the day that the current holder of the office of president will pass away from causes unknown. I guess my question that I've been thinking on a lot is, do you think the president, the current president, is aware of that meme? Like, for reasons we're going to get into, we know that the president is aware that there are people who wish him to befall bodily.

[Jason Kirk]

Brian, are you asking if he knows he's mortal?

[Spencer Hall]

No, because I think the story we're going to get into that just Came out yesterday, proves that he knows that. But do you think, like, he is familiar with the specific phrase maybe it will happen today and that it is directed specifically at him? Like, I'm not asking. Do you think the president is aware that people. All presidents are aware that people want them dead? Like, that's.

[Jason Kirk]

That's.

[Spencer Hall]

That's just part of being president.

[Jason Kirk]

It's like being a podcast host.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Yes. But do you. Do you think anyone has ever. He's ever heard the phrase maybe it will happen today and been like, wait, that's about me and my heart may be giving up?

[Ryan Nanni]

Holly and I both have questions.

[Jason Kirk]

Jason, you buzzed in first.

[Ryan Nanni]

Go ahead.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

So is there a distinction between has heard it and remembers it? Like, because information does not tend to stick in this man's mind.

[Spencer Hall]

All right. Do you think he has ever been aware of this meme and its meaning

[Ryan Nanni]

and perceive what it means?

[Spencer Hall]

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

We just had the biggest clap of thunder here.

[Holly Anderson]

Lord, Lord. Hello. So

[Ryan Nanni]

did you have a question about the framing here?

[Jason Kirk]

No, I had not an answer to this, but I had a thought to throw in.

[Ryan Nanni]

Okay.

[Jason Kirk]

I think in order to determine this, we first need to determine how much time we think that we see him on the Internet is actually him and how much is some lunatic Federalist Society goon tweeting for him. Because it has become pretty apparent over the past however many months that, you know, he. We are not residing in the same reality. Like, we know. We know from reporting that he's being fed, like, fake poll numbers by his staff. Right. This is. I. Maybe it will happen today. Is not. It's subtle enough to get away with doing what it does for a long time because it's very unique, unspecific. I think the.

[Spencer Hall]

Incredibly.

[Jason Kirk]

So, yeah, I think the subject line on the account is like, if you're hoping for that thing, maybe it will happen today. That's it.

[Spencer Hall]

It's unspecific and it's passive. That's the other important.

[Jason Kirk]

And I think for that reason, and because Jay, as Jason points out, you know, information does not stick in this brand's brain. I'm sure his staff is aware of it, and I'm sure that they have, like, on the list of fish to fry regarding what is going on with him, this seems like a green level alert.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay.

[Ryan Nanni]

In the grand scheme, as far as those specific words and their meaning go, it's possible he has breezed paths past them at some point. And I would bet against even that having happened, partly mainly because it's a blue sky centric thing. And this is a true Truth Social centric guy. There's nobody. There is nobody on Truth Social. Okay, well, still that Stu's not hanging out on TikTok, I guess is my point.

[Jason Kirk]

No, but a lot more of his. A lot more of his staff are. And there was a couple. It's. It's like the strummy, strummy La La song. So it's not really my thing, but I appreciate the effort. There's like a Tik Tok song called. It's not quite in the same vein, but it's called on the Day it finally happens.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

I guess ultimately my point is this feels like two, you know, two, two people within one bubble. Like a thing everyone knows about to people in most bubbles. It's a thing they've never heard of.

[Spencer Hall]

Sure. That's. Yes.

[Ryan Nanni]

And he is in the opposite bubble.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes. I guess I wondered if like the attention seeking part of it or the fact like, listen, if you. I don't know. Let's pick Facebook. I'm not on Facebook hardly at all, but if an entire meme developed around me on Facebook, even though I don't use Facebook, I do, I do hope that I would become aware of it in some way, shape or form.

[Ryan Nanni]

What if it was like the millionth meme about you?

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, yeah, okay, that's true.

[Jason Kirk]

Like there's, that's the other thing. There's so much like talk, shit get hit, content going around at this point that I'm not sure that it's kind of like this one has an equilibrium level that is below the sight line.

[Ryan Nanni]

Okay, like, and this dude has been hated by so many people for so long. Like just a few days ago, I noticed a comic book from like 1988 that was Lex Luthor posed as Donald Trump's autobiography. Like Lex Luthor's scumbag villain. Like, it was exactly a riff.

[Spencer Hall]

Spoof. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

This is 40 years ago.

[Spencer Hall]

Right, Right.

[Ryan Nanni]

This dude has been hated for longer than most of our listeners have even been alive, you know.

[Spencer Hall]

So I guess my follow up question is then when the President of the United States was stuffed into a beverage cart that you use on an airplane, can we.

[Holly Anderson]

Jammed, jammed, jammed.

[Spencer Hall]

When he was secreted into the dining cart to be transferred off of Air Force One and onto a military plane like, like the Asian man in Ocean's Eleven being smuggled into the vault.

[Jason Kirk]

We're really pushing the frontiers of knowing how crazy it smell in there.

[Spencer Hall]

That means. I think what you're telling me is one of the thoughts that was passing through the president's head. Was not. Oh, no, maybe it will happen today and maybe it will happen right here.

[Ryan Nanni]

I think his only thought is, heh, suckers. And also that and also, ooh, burger. Found a burger in here.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah. He strikes me as more of like a.

[Spencer Hall]

Not a.

[Jason Kirk]

Not so much a plotting guy as a stimulus. A stimulus response. Repeat guy.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, it is.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Look at me. I guess I'm Odysseus now.

[Spencer Hall]

I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you. Stuff the president into an airplane dining cart.

[Jason Kirk]

The physics of this are still confusing to me.

[Spencer Hall]

Some taskmaster

[Ryan Nanni]

plungers and crowbars. He's almost in.

[Holly Anderson]

Well, let's see what he's done with this one. No points.

[Ryan Nanni]

He's just in there bitching the whole time about every bump in the road.

[Spencer Hall]

How did you find out about it, Holly?

[Jason Kirk]

I was. So when this was going down, I was. What? The funny thing is, Spencer said something because we were. We put our turfman's college football magazine out yesterday. Dave Frieda, yesterday, when you're listening to this at like 2:30 in the afternoon, which was about five hours after we had wanted to, but there was some hate stuff with the storefront. And so it was like 7:30 at night before we got around to, like, okay, let's sit down and do like, a great big promo thread about this thing. And I was still typing like an hour and a half later because they were like, you know, we wanted to shout out all the stories individually and all this stuff. So we were like going through our list of people of like, hey, follow this person. Share their work. And Spencer, like, from the other side of the room just vaguely it goes like, you know, man, I'm gonna feel real bad if we get to the end of this thread. And it turns out that we've, you know, bombed another country while we were doing this. And we're just in here blithely talking about how we make college football horoscopes and aren't they funny? And then I get to. I click away and the first thing I saw was Ian Boudreau saying, also, it's fun to think of this happening by means of some kind of fish tube. And I saw that tweet out of context and I love a good fish tube. And so I went. And. But the. The thread, the. The post that starts that thread is Ian going, what do you mean they smuggled the president out of Turkey in a catering cart? Which did not clear anything up.

[Holly Anderson]

My theory is he hasn't been like, so you Asked about the fish tube.

[Jason Kirk]

I want to get all. No, I want to get all news by fish tube.

[Spencer Hall]

I have one more theory, but I

[Holly Anderson]

don't think the fish tube is an theory. But I don't think he's actually been wet in 15 to 20 years.

[Ryan Nanni]

Wait, like he's been moist?

[Jason Kirk]

Like a Joe Dante situation?

[Ryan Nanni]

He's certainly been moist.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, I think he's. I think he's in a situation where they just keep applying new coats of things to him. And that explains the odd shambling superstructure.

[Jason Kirk]

He's like a Max factor golem.

[Spencer Hall]

I bet he. I bet he got. I bet he got moist in that beverage.

[Holly Anderson]

Well, there's another thing, too. I think when he was put in the cart, okay, After. After not being moistened, right after, they were like, oh, put him in. You need to put some talcum drying powder on him. Right? Put some. Put some citric acid on there and just see if it'll, you know, tone it down.

[Jason Kirk]

They gotta put him in rice.

[Spencer Hall]

So he.

[Holly Anderson]

Right. Now, there's another political story involving a terrible person named Max Miller. You wonder, how did this Max Miller person ever get proximity to power? And how does he get favors done? The answer is Broadway musicals. Because from the prospect, Miller was very close to the President and obviously could smell that he has not been wet in 15 to 20 years. And nonetheless, you know that. Yeah, it's like dry rot. It's dry rot. Ryan, you're from Florida, but it's dry

[Ryan Nanni]

rot when you walk out on a rotting desert.

[Spencer Hall]

No, but you say. You say from Florida. Everything in Florida is constantly a little wet.

[Holly Anderson]

Different kind of rot. Yeah, it's a different kind of rot.

[Ryan Nanni]

A little wet, but never washed.

[Spencer Hall]

But never washed.

[Holly Anderson]

But never washed.

[Spencer Hall]

Wet, but never washed.

[Jason Kirk]

But never washed is a not coated in what?

[Holly Anderson]

Right? Not coated in what could be a 3 to 4 inch thick strata of moisturizers, makeup, McDonald's grease, and whatever the else is in there. Anyway, one of Miller's talents that got him close to the President was because, and this is according to an actual article in the Prospect, was because he had an innate talent for knowing just what nostalgic show tune at what precise moment to mention to Trump, okay? Particularly Memory from Cats would succeed at talking Trump off of the ledge of an incipient meltdown. That is a quote, when in those days, senior White House staffers would summon Trump's quote, music man, unquote, when the President became grouchy so Miller could check on the order of the song. So I want you to imagine they're stuffing him in here like some sort of rotten garbage bag full of trash, right? Like some sort of sleeping bag that somebody has poured a 30 year old beef stew into.

[Spencer Hall]

Like laundry you haven't done in two years that you're bringing home.

[Jason Kirk]

Now it's. And now to soothe the President by singing for eight minutes about how he's gonna go to cat heaven just as

[Holly Anderson]

they're about to seal him up into this thing that probably smells like old Biscoff cookies, right?

[Spencer Hall]

That sounds fine. That sounds fine, right?

[Holly Anderson]

He's like, I might die, who knows? They're like somebody is just whispering in there.

[Ryan Nanni]

He's like, maybe, maybe his cart has custom speaker like, you know, because Air Force One is a super upgraded plane cart. Force One has amenities already in there. A pinky thing.

[Holly Anderson]

No, they just threw a fucking JBL in there. Just, just threw one in there.

[Jason Kirk]

Set of keys in there for him to jangle around.

[Holly Anderson]

If you play Andrew Lloyd Webber, he's just out like a light.

[Spencer Hall]

All right, I, I want to say I think this so. So first of all, the fact that this story leaked is kind of crazy because it involves it is.

[Jason Kirk]

I can't imagine why it leaked.

[Spencer Hall]

So I have. My first theory is that. My first theory is that the President leaked it because he was like, I don't want to do that ever again. I don't ever want to be. I need, I need the security of this measure to be compromised so we never stuff me in dining cart ever again.

[Jason Kirk]

I don't think that's what happened.

[Spencer Hall]

I don't think that's what happened either. I think. Here's what I think might be coming down the pike and I'm going to call my shot here and I really hope we hit it. I think somebody's about to hit the most outrageous calcipedia you've ever seen. And that's on the bet. Will the president fit inside an airplane cart?

[Holly Anderson]

One person bet $1 billion on this.

[Ryan Nanni]

The dude's standing there cramming him in. Phone, phone in the other hand. Some market or whatever the fuck they call it.

[Holly Anderson]

Some 17 year old, some 17 year old who just snorted three lines of pro vigil and got the job off of some far right message board. Is that cow, she like, yeah, take the bet.

[Ryan Nanni]

Whatever.

[Jason Kirk]

There's no way.

[Holly Anderson]

If it's there, just do it. Bankrupts the whole company.

[Spencer Hall]

No way. The president,

[Holly Anderson]

you put it on there, you got to pay it out. You got to pay it out.

[Spencer Hall]

You gotta pay it bigger.

[Holly Anderson]

Balls has completely destroyed the company single handedly Some dude in a broccoli cut. It's like, I thought it was good. Thought we had the numbers.

[Spencer Hall]

My third theory, and this is maybe too political, is that the Iranian government is like, all right, would we like to assassinate the American president? Of course. We've always wanted. Like, that's always sounded fun. But we also recognize that that will lead to downstream effects that we might not like as much. What if instead, through a series of threats of, like, realistic threats about possible assassination, we could get the president to do increasingly silly and stupid things that we then release to the public? What if that's what's happening?

[Holly Anderson]

We can get him to sell out his advisors in ever more elaborate ways. Right. Like, I dangled them over a shark tank. But it was for a good purpose.

[Spencer Hall]

If the Oregon Duck doesn't come out to midfield at some point this season, stuffed inside a catering card and emerged from it, I will be sorely disappointed.

[Ryan Nanni]

You know, I'm gonna go ahead.

[Holly Anderson]

I'm gonna make an audible here.

[Ryan Nanni]

Where was it that this cart thing happened in Turkey? So this is literally like, you know, same country as the Trojan horse. This is probably how they sold it to him.

[Spencer Hall]

Sir.

[Ryan Nanni]

You're recreating history, Mr. President.

[Jason Kirk]

Get it. Get inside. Charlize Theron's on drug beats.

[Spencer Hall]

Mr. President, this. This woke movie, we have to combat it with.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah, you have to do the cool version.

[Michael Felder]

I've always wanted to be Trojan Man.

[Holly Anderson]

You'd. Can you think of the sunrise? Can you think of the like. Like, Alonzo Morning gift that life would throw at you if it was like, air Force One has been shot down. Trump was not on it, and he survived. And I'm like, I just want to see the reaction on Blue Sky. Just. Just see the reaction.

[Jason Kirk]

Steve Kendall said this morning, and I agree. He's like, I don't think we know how to reckon with the kind of psychic damage that would have caused.

[Holly Anderson]

I lived.

[Jason Kirk]

Gotcha, Armstrong.

[Ryan Nanni]

Not only did I live, I got all the burgers I could eat from the dessert cart.

[Jason Kirk]

Not only did I live, I got a plane full of people killed, and I'm still fucking alive.

[Spencer Hall]

This is like how Tom and Jerry sneak onto an airplane.

[Jason Kirk]

I listen, everything is terrible about. This is the regret of my life that we don't have security footage, because I want nothing more right now in my life, not oxygen, not water, not freedom, than a cut of this with the Warner Brothers Orchestra just going like

[Holly Anderson]

Carl Stallings just playing. I just realized something, though. The last time, I was like, oh, man, what movie would this be? From where you're like, and then I snuck onto a decoy plane.

[Jason Kirk]

Money plane.

[Holly Anderson]

No, no. Den of Thieves Commando. This is another 80s action movie thing. This is another 80s. He's like, it's easy to get on and off a plane. I saw Arnold do it. It's fine.

[Jason Kirk]

She's also. Dude, that's completely in character. In 2017, when we were still at MTV, Ezekiel Kwaku wrote this. This very, very prescient piece about how he, Trump, is literally living in his own head. A vision of escape from New York. New York. Like, the New York in his head is escape from New York's New York.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

And I think that that piece has only gotten, you know, more and more correct as the years have gone by, but I think that's probably the closest to the truth, is that he saw this in a movie and thought it would be fine.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. Like, every 45 seconds in his head, there's like, an innocent old lady being menaced by four guys in fingerless gloves while holding a hammer on a bus somewhere in the Bronx. Right.

[Spencer Hall]

To tie a little bit of a bow on this. However you feel about, perhaps it will happen. Maybe it will happen today. I submit that there is no more comical answer to that than it did happen today. And that's because we forgot the president inside of an airport of an airplane dining cart.

[Ryan Nanni]

So he's in there gorging on pies.

[Spencer Hall]

It just eventually passes out. Yep. And that's it.

[Holly Anderson]

I would like to call an audible. I think it's time to do an early podcast business.

[Ryan Nanni]

I think this brings us a great idea.

[Spencer Hall]

You know what? Do you know how long we've been recording?

[Ryan Nanni]

Yes.

[Holly Anderson]

54.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay, guys,

[Ryan Nanni]

if this is technically slightly early, but, yeah, our standards of the past year or so never told the joke.

[Holly Anderson]

Podcast business. What's that? Business podcast business. It's a business podcast business stuck into a plane. We got into the catering carton, then they pushed us in. Then we suffocated in the hole.

[Ryan Nanni]

So we have a large number of things to get get to for business today. One that we must start with is, of course, patreon.com shutdownfoilcast where we have three new episodes, five total hours that have gone up within the past week. After dark is approaching soon. We did two different mailbag episodes, one of which I listened to. I listened to the non college football one. Only some sort of sick fuck would listen to the college football one, but I listen to the non college football one. And Spencer created a superhero team in which the only one with Any mental health is Squirrel Girl, which I was just inspired by that complete lack of mental health that you put together. Spencer Ideal.

[Holly Anderson]

Perfect.

[Ryan Nanni]

And also my daughter came on to educate us about My Little Pony and we did the college football comps for shit. My favorite cartoon as of like two months ago when she started showing it to me. Yeah. Patreon.com shutdown fullcast after dark is coming up soon.

[Holly Anderson]

Next, I'm going to go ahead and grab the mic here and say, you need a college football preview. You need Turfman's. That's right. We made a college football Preview at Channel 6. The Channel 16 got together and said, you know what? The people don't have a college football preview like they used to. They don't. They don't. People don't make these things anymore. They make these rope things, these routine things. What we need is one the truly sluice the experience that all of you are going to live this fall on your butts, on the couch, all right? In the trenches, in the tailgates, stuck on the interstate for three hours after a game, all right? Listening to a game. You don't even really care about falling asleep to some Pac12 game where you were like, hey, those teams are in the Pac 12 now. That's not. And why are they losing by 48? The good things. The good things about college football. In other words, the lived experience. That is what a preview should be and that is what we made. The Turfman's College Football Almanac. If you go to turfmanindustries.com turfman industries.com you will be directed to a website. It has a man with a pipe and a mustache wearing a suit. He wants you to. By the Turfman's College football almanac, all 100 pages of it. Is it all done by Spencer hall and Holly Anderson? Hell no. We couldn't pull this off. No cast of thousands helped pull us off some.

[Jason Kirk]

You know, a little asterisk bias if our. I'm careful not to oversell this because I had a couple people. I know I'm cutting you off in the middle of the promo. I'm sorry. A couple people ask us about this because like, we're doing this with our friends and they're like, oh, you have Bill Cubes, y'. All. I gotta tell you something. Bill has a real job.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, I know.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm sorry. Bill has a real job. Jason has a real job. People have asked who's. Hey, why is everyone not in this? Some of our friends have real jobs. Our friends who don't have real jobs helped us do this thing because everybody non competes are a thing. We're very sorry. We would love to have Bill also ESPN kind of frowns on him doing his patented giant preview stack for anybody else. Ryan and Godfrey don't have real jobs, so we had each of them do a little thing for it, which I really appreciate them joining up for. But we're very sorry we don't have Bill C. In there, but also that's like his own thing and we're doing something very different. We would have kidnapped him if we could, but we're not that organized. Sorry to stop your role, Spencer. I just didn't want anybody. A couple people yesterday were mad about Bill not being in this thing and I was like, I would have loved to have him. He's got a real job.

[Holly Anderson]

Yes. One where they like him to write for them.

[Jason Kirk]

Everybody who has a fake job got to do this.

[Holly Anderson]

Everybody listen, including, including us, the privilege that we have of the extremely silly and fun jobs we have. Listen, there's so many people involved in all of this that you're just gonna have to go buy it and look at it. But I can tell you we do have quality Ryan nanny content in there if you would like it. We have Michael Spellworthy.

[Jason Kirk]

I did something very dangerous with Ryan and told him he could do whatever

[Holly Anderson]

he wanted and he did.

[Jason Kirk]

And he did something. He did something really cool.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. We have a roundtable with Joel Anderson, Mike Golick and Michael Felder that is going to be up on. Oh, look at this segue on Channel 6. The newest letter that you can get twice a week that we put together. And it's like the flagship enterprise for this particular business of ours. All of which is to say, if you want the preview, turfman industries.com.

[Jason Kirk]

it's 24.98, which we price because that is one penny less than Phil Steel and we won't charge you for shipping.

[Spencer Hall]

Also, you have to get [e-mail] because if you go to Amazon, there isn't a fake AI Turfman preview yet. There are fake. There are fake Phil Steels. Yes, they are. There he has found at least four written by such luminaries as Russell Brevitin and Gilgart Martwell.

[Ryan Nanni]

That's putting the Steel.

[Spencer Hall]

Phil Steele, Gilgart. Yep. Phil's pissed.

[Holly Anderson]

Imagine Phil still kicking down your door with a shotgun, being like, Phil Steele got robbed.

[Jason Kirk]

I. I'm gonna jam pack this shotgun in your gullet.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Michael Felder]

Okay. I'm gonna say something that maybe Holly, I'll let you decide on the back end whether or not we cut this out. I on College Sports Now, a podcast that Hartzell has done for, I don't know, the past 10 years or so. We always had Phil still on once a week. I don't know if they're still doing that or not, but Phil would come on and it was usually late at night. When we taped with Phil, it was our west coast co host.

[Jason Kirk]

Not great.

[Michael Felder]

It was like 9, 8 o' clock central time in Cleveland where he is. Here's the thing though. Every time I would talk to him, I would call or he would call in. I'd be like, hey Phil. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, all right. In the background there would always be like late 90s, early 2000s new metal playing. Always.

[Jason Kirk]

Why would we not want this in this show?

[Michael Felder]

I don't know. Because it was in the privacy of his own office. But nothing.

[Spencer Hall]

Phil dropped the Spotify playlist.

[Holly Anderson]

So was Phil still just out there rocking a fat lip?

[Michael Felder]

It was always some shit like that.

[Ryan Nanni]

We're going like Slipknot. Like power, like cool.

[Holly Anderson]

Yes.

[Michael Felder]

And then there was even sometimes where like song was kind of good. I was like, is this Deftones? I wasn't quite sure if it was good or not. Phil still might really listen to like heavy music. Which makes me think like, yeah, you don't want to. You don't want to get caught by him with one of his fake magazines.

[Holly Anderson]

Phil still broke my forearm in a knocked loose pit.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, that's great. It's like that John Clayton Sports Center.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah, it's literally that. I almost just wonder if they got the idea from Phil Steel.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm just picturing him typing like 400 pages of 6 point font in a Slipknot mask.

[Holly Anderson]

You know what? Now this makes sense. How else are you gonna do it?

[Michael Felder]

Some may not believe me, but at Steven Hartzell on Blue sky, like he can confirm that this is a thing that happens.

[Spencer Hall]

That's really.

[Jason Kirk]

Well, thank you so much for sharing this gift with us. That's incredible.

[Holly Anderson]

But yeah. Turfman turfmanindustries.com you can purchase the preview there.

[Spencer Hall]

There.

[Holly Anderson]

I'll tell you that we listened to Corn and Fat Lip while we made it. If that's what gets you to buy it, don't lie.

[Spencer Hall]

Don't lie.

[Holly Anderson]

No, I'm not.

[Jason Kirk]

No, he. You're lying. But there is. If you, if you want to know what we were listening to, making this, just read, read on. There's a little something in there that is not in the table of contents that you might be able to find.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. And headed in the.

[Jason Kirk]

It's not hidden.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. And head into the season. Channel 6. Subscribe to our newsletter as well, because holy shit, this thing's bearing down on us and we are about to take your inbox to heaven.

[Jason Kirk]

We've been talking for a long time, but also, we got a lot going on this week. But thank you to those. We sold a thousand of these magazines in, like, 16 hours.

[Holly Anderson]

16 hours, which is.

[Jason Kirk]

We were hoping to sell a thousand of these things total. And as usual, this community is showing up and showing out and letting us make good art that we want to. So we do have a great home field. Now, Spencer, just keep talking about the Tennessee polo because it's so.

[Holly Anderson]

Homefieldapparel.com did it again, folks. Unfortunately, they've made me say nice things about in.

[Ryan Nanni]

In this part of the ad. We sort of just riff and ramble. We have ad copy this time. We have.

[Jason Kirk]

We're supposed to make it our own.

[Ryan Nanni]

No, I am making it own by telling our listeners that we have ad copy.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, I was telling Spencer because I assume he didn't read the email.

[Ryan Nanni]

I'm bringing the listeners behind the veil to tell them that we have ad copy to read for you. And in future editions, we'll riff on this like always. But I'm gonna read this ad copy as it was delivered. All right.

[Jason Kirk]

Pagliacci?

[Spencer Hall]

No.

[Ryan Nanni]

And that'll be the fun of it, folks. It's time to get ready for your game day with Home Field, the official collegiate outfitter of Shutdown Full Cast. The industry's best collegiate apparel brand is launching its biggest collection of the year, the Can't Miss kickoff collection, on August 14th.

[Michael Felder]

What the fuck?

[Jason Kirk]

That's this week.

[Michael Felder]

This week? This week.

[Ryan Nanni]

This week. They didn't write that part. Home Fields Can't Miss. Kickoff Collection features the most premium apparel you'll find on the market, featuring new gear for over 75 schools. Our friends at Home Field design. They called. That's pretty good. Our Friends at Home Field. They are our friends. But it's funny, their words calling themselves our friends, which is correct. They design and research everything from the fit and fabrics, vintage logos to make standout gear you'll wear over and over. And this year, don't miss the debut of Home Field's new stadium polo. We are excited to have Home Field as our official exclusive sponsor apparel sponsor also all season long. Home Field is right to tell us to say that because it's true. Take 2020 off your first purchase with code full cast20 at checkout@homefield apparel.com or on the home field app. Home Field, the officials, the official outfitter of the shutdown full cast and of your game day.

[Holly Anderson]

Your game day, your game day.

[Jason Kirk]

It feels really good to have the offer code back because we, we did not have an offer code for a while. They were, they were doing things a little bit differently last year and I really missed having a go to response to spam texts and to people who misdirect emails to people with my name. I would just write back and be like, hey, did you know? Hey, did you know it's going to

[Spencer Hall]

be so crucial for midterms too, right?

[Jason Kirk]

With, with the election season coming up, it has never been more important to have a way to respond to spam texts on your phone and just tell them, you know, hey, did you know that cutting infant nutrition is actually good? And you write back, did you know that your soul will boil in the pits of hell and that with offer code Full cast, you can get 20% off your first purchase at home field Apparel? I'm assuming that's the deal. Again. I also don't have the email in front of me. I'm part of the problem. Change up,

[Ryan Nanni]

folks. Speaking of hell, the Vacation Bible School podcast has a new episode in which my wife brought up hell for once. It wasn't me. My wife, Emily, we were talking about the Book of Jonah, which is very funny, very good. We watched the VeggieTales version, we watched the Odyssey version. She's read a couple of books that, like, they're general market novels that have a lot to do. Whale Fall. They're making a movie of Whale Fall. And she's the one who brought up hell this time. And yeah, this podcast that we started in 2020 we're on, we're like a third of the way through the Bible at this point, but the Book of Jonah, one of the best, one of my favorites. It's super, super short. It's 1200 words and we spend an hour talking about it. And yeah, if you, if you haven't listened to this episode in a long time, I don't blame you because we've done two episodes in the past 24 months, but that's a lot to catch up on and refresh on. And it feels like, if it feels like a weird time to publish something that's not about college football, well, stay fucking tuned because football seasons is here. And that's when we'll on the shutdown, full cast. We'll talk about a lot of stuff that's not college football. And, you know, if your team is. Once your team gets to the point where it's like, oh, my God, things aren't going the way I thought they would. Oh, I don't. I don't like the journey I'm on. Well, you know who didn't? Jonah. So tap in, because there's a lot to learn about going somewhere you don't want to go from. From. From that intent. I'll also tease you with this intentionally comedic story in the Bible. It is a story that completely knows how stupid you, an enlightened modern person, think it is. People have. It was. It has been a comedy for 3,000 years.

[Holly Anderson]

Between this and. Between this and the Odyssey under the sea. Yeah, between this and the Odyssey. Year of the terrible excuse. Right.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, man, you ought to see the inside of this whale.

[Ryan Nanni]

It's the year for getting extremely lost while trying to cross the entire Mediterranean while God is pissed off at you for. For some bullshit you did.

[Holly Anderson]

It was the first video game you had to get. You know, you had to get. You had to platform across the Mediterranean. And lo, there were many hazards.

[Jason Kirk]

If you need to catch up on most recent vacation Bible school, I think. Isn't the most recent vacation Bible school still before this one? Spencer.

[Ryan Nanni]

The one before this was Spencer on the 42 Bears adventure.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Holly Anderson]

Best moment in the Bible whale.

[Jason Kirk]

Then about 42 bears came out, 43 back to back.

[Ryan Nanni]

We got a whale eats a guy and 42 bears. Two bears eat 42 small guys.

[Jason Kirk]

That's a strong run.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, don't. Don't laugh at bald guys. Speaking of bald guys. Hey, Stephen Godfrey host a podcast.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. It's called Phantom Island. You can find it at Phantom island show. We're running short on time here because I know Holly has one more thing we want to promote here. So. So yeah, Steven's not bald. Not yet.

[Holly Anderson]

Source.

[Spencer Hall]

I know how he. All right, you know what? Unanswered questions. Stephen Godfrey, bald question mark. Let's see what AI has to teach.

[Holly Anderson]

Controversy. Mina Kimes, friend of the program, longtime supporter of the Charity Bowl. Hey, she does a lot of good charitable stuff herself. And one thing that you can do, we're going to drop a link to it. Mina is raising money for a dude in El Serena know in Southern California who is. Yeah, cool. High school senior. Raising money so that he can attend the school he got into. It's Yale. I've heard it's good.

[Jason Kirk]

This is rare Yale positive content opportunity here.

[Holly Anderson]

Absolutely. Yale positive Content, Right.

[Jason Kirk]

This guy improve Yale with his presence. How about that?

[Holly Anderson]

That's right. That's right. So we want to help that along. We're going to leave a link to that. Mina is raising money for Diego. I encourage you.

[Jason Kirk]

She's selling video messages. She told me that. I don't think she would mind me telling this. That several. The note that I got. And I. I think I know how she meant this. Was that several men have asked her to announce their pregnancies, which. We're making all kinds of technological advances here. So.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah. So go ahead, hit the link. Contribute. Let's send this kid to Yale, spruce the place up a bit.

[Jason Kirk]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Thus concludes. No.

[Spencer Hall]

No, it doesn't.

[Holly Anderson]

No, it doesn't. Sorry. Jump the gun. It's my bad.

[Ryan Nanni]

Wow.

[Holly Anderson]

I know. Doing it wrong.

[Michael Felder]

If you do that again, I'll shoot you.

[Holly Anderson]

I know. And server. I deserve it. Yeah.

[Jason Kirk]

Sorry.

[Ryan Nanni]

That was so rock and roll. What Ser.

[Jason Kirk]

Just everything he does every week to cut all the anti Catholic sentiments that

[Spencer Hall]

you put into the show.

[Holly Anderson]

I know.

[Michael Felder]

I would have been called Killer Ants. It's got a Z at the end. Or Zed if you're in Canada, Australia, New Zealand or the uk. We have an album out. But yeah, you should have probably listened to that by now if you haven't. In that case, if you listen to it and you didn't buy it, just go buy it on Band Camp so we can get some money so I can make this next album. Because we just did. We. We just demoed the tenth song for it. And so I've got all ten song names here. So I'm going to create a little bit of Killer Ants lore and you'll see if these are the 10 songs that actually wind up on my next record or if something happens and then you can wonder about the ones that didn't make it. Is there a lost Rarity album coming out? Who knows? I don't know.

[Holly Anderson]

Help me help you.

[Michael Felder]

Class Clown, Alien Cookies. The Liars who Get Ahead. Scrape Knees, Predict the Future. Atomic Landslides. Good for Dopey. Our Amazing Party tricks. And you just laugh. Coming to a streaming service and maybe a vinyl or CD near you in early 2027.

[Spencer Hall]

Sweet.

[Michael Felder]

That's it. That's all I got. Oh, we have a show too. September 5th in Greensboro.

[Jason Kirk]

Oh, hell yes. Serbs ain't gonna be with us and After Dark for week one. But we'll forgive you just this once.

[Michael Felder]

I might like pop in though. Depends on how late the show.

[Ryan Nanni]

Just call in from stage.

[Michael Felder]

Every show we play now is Dudes like that. Dudes and. And lady dudes that are like in their 30s and 40s. Dudes who are in their 30s and 40s like me. So, like, we try to get that shit done by like 10:30, but who

[Holly Anderson]

knows what could happen?

[Ryan Nanni]

I just, like.

[Michael Felder]

No one's trying to hang out. We know who's coming to our shows. We're not attracting the youth of America to come out to see our old asses play rock music. It's all about mortgages, need to go home, who have kids.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, there's always the children of people listening to this show right now in the car on the way to school.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah, tell our friends about. Tell your friends about our band and how cool it is. Spencer's in it, Holly's in it. Jason's in it, Ryan's in it. Yeah, don't ask what they play. They're in the liner notes.

[Jason Kirk]

Tambourine. Wait, I want tambourine.

[Holly Anderson]

You know tambourine. Jason, what are you picking up?

[Ryan Nanni]

I mean, I have no screaming instrument experience, so. Yeah, we're definitely pivoting toward scene core.

[Michael Felder]

Yeah, he's our screamer.

[Ryan Nanni]

Contributing yells of some sort.

[Spencer Hall]

Ryan, Melodica bit.

[Michael Felder]

That's what we fucking needed.

[Spencer Hall]

Only solos too. I don't play along with everybody else. It's just melodic solos.

[Jason Kirk]

Just like in real life.

[Holly Anderson]

Just me and Coltrane over here.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right. You can't hold me back.

[Holly Anderson]

I take giant steps on this motherfucker.

[Spencer Hall]

You can end podcast business now. I know you got a good go.

[Holly Anderson]

I play mouth trumpet in the band.

[Ryan Nanni]

The get business in early thing. And it's also. It's still at the end of the episode, folks. This was a short one. We got more on Patreon.

[Spencer Hall]

Listen, there was. There was a lot of Kurt Cousins butt talk. And if that's.

[Jason Kirk]

This was a special circumstance.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. What's happening in Cosmo Ball? Nothing. Okay. Oh, hey, hey, let's talk about the playoff. Guess what?

[Jason Kirk]

It.

[Spencer Hall]

The playoff committee met and did nothing.

[Ryan Nanni]

Someone floated. We should do a 20 teamer. Because I saw a post on X.com about AKA nothing is happening.

[Spencer Hall]

So cool. Hey, guess what? That's what the playoff committee does. They. They do nothing.

[Jason Kirk]

They meet.

[Spencer Hall]

They're like, I don't know. Probably not.

[Ryan Nanni]

We have 12. Should we do 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24. Like one of those is the perfect number.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm sure we should start 15 and a half.

[Spencer Hall]

Let's talk about that.

[Ryan Nanni]

We haven't talked about that one before.

[Jason Kirk]

Grifter Blue sky accounts. This like, alt College Football Playoff committee and just post.

[Ryan Nanni]

Yeah, I'm inside the Just was like,

[Jason Kirk]

I'm inside the JW Ballroom and you're

[Spencer Hall]

talking about sine wave as part of the.

[Ryan Nanni]

It's crazy. I'm in here listening to them say the thing you wanted them to be saying.

[Jason Kirk]

You have to post this hashtag.

[Spencer Hall]

They said. They said Notre Dame can never get in. That's what they said here in. In the department.

[Ryan Nanni]

Go Big blue, no matter who.

[Holly Anderson]

Yep.

[Jason Kirk]

They said, jim Delaney's not dead. He's frozen.

[Spencer Hall]

It will be very funny if out of nowhere the College Football Playoff committee in the next eight hours is like, it's 24. Here it is.

[Ryan Nanni]

If they're like. If they're matching the Senate thing and they're like, it's 19. 19 is the one true college football number. 19.

[Jason Kirk]

It's genius.

[Spencer Hall]

Honestly. That would be. If they did. If they did a stupid number I would respect.

[Ryan Nanni]

The SEC is like, all right, hang on. We hated the idea of 16, but 19, get your ass over. That's genius.

[Michael Felder]

You can use the Steely Dan. Hey, 19 is the theme song for the playoff show every week.

[Ryan Nanni]

Everyone loves that song that we all know.

[Michael Felder]

Everyone knows that song on this podcast

[Jason Kirk]

to love about that song. Yeah. Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Jason's right, though. 19 is good. And I think like, if. If all it takes to sort of get these ideas rolling is somebody posted about it somewhere. I bet we could get it. I bet we could see this as a campaign.

[Jason Kirk]

Street team, full cast.

[Ryan Nanni]

Street team.

[Jason Kirk]

Did you guys Hear about the 19 team? College football.

[Ryan Nanni]

We're going to post it on blue skies.

[Spencer Hall]

No.

[Ryan Nanni]

And see.

[Jason Kirk]

Hey, hey. That's how we get all the teams over.

[Spencer Hall]

Blue sky is one place the full cast exists. But what's the other place the full cast exists? I mean, thought leadership highlight.

[Ryan Nanni]

So. Or the option was college football 19. We make one last X.com post since that's apparently where the big brain thought leaders.

[Spencer Hall]

That didn't work. The X.com post didn't go anywhere. I think if we made it didn't work.

[Ryan Nanni]

It didn't work because 20 sucks.

[Jason Kirk]

19 is brilliant. Shadow band. Shadow band.

[Ryan Nanni]

Like, like, yeah, we'll just make one last X post.

[Spencer Hall]

All we gotta do is like make confident assertions here. I'll do it right now.

[Jason Kirk]

This little.

[Spencer Hall]

That's all they're fucking doing. The 19 team playoff is the only number that preserves the regular season. That's it.

[Ryan Nanni]

I just said the 19 team bracket enhances access.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right.

[Ryan Nanni]

Increases revenue.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Ryan Nanni]

Regards competition, withholds problems and Specializes the

[Jason Kirk]

game impacts, environment impacts. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

And it stewards benefits, it journeys customers, it competencies, cores.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes, that's right. Yeah.

[Ryan Nanni]

Just imagine guys, the Village 19, the

[Spencer Hall]

19 team playoff contains only natural substances. No dyes, no allergies.

[Jason Kirk]

Ryan, I think you're really missing the point about the 19 team college football playoff which is this is, this is not just a quick win, okay. This is a hyper local next generation holistic logistics alignment, free quota touch points.

[Ryan Nanni]

I think it is both tech and culture, the intersection of those two things.

[Spencer Hall]

And community, Jason. I would say that's the third thing. Tech culture and community come together to build the 19 team playoffs.

[Michael Felder]

When did you guys start wearing turtlenecks?

[Jason Kirk]

When big data incentivizes you to move the needle about this, you just have to unpack the ping and drill down on your ecosystem bandwidth.

[Ryan Nanni]

I think if we're looking to but both deconstruct and deploy, then the number that we're circling is 19 in terms of enhancing not only the regular season. Walk with me here. Also the preseason.

[Spencer Hall]

16, 20, 24. These are numbers that are cold, that are cold. 19 is bespoke. 19 is human. Don't you want a college football playoff that's by humans, for humans. That's why we need 19 teams in it.

[Ryan Nanni]

There's been much complaint about the buy system. Teams are, they're coming in cold and they're losing to inferior teams in the playoff. That doesn't happen in 19 because if you look at how we've laid it out, we don't understand in this diagram that we're showing you right now, just look at it, you will see that every team gets fair equity as far as aggression and competitive regard. Informed.

[Spencer Hall]

The market has spoken and it has said 19.

[Ryan Nanni]

I hear it intoning loudly.

[Jason Kirk]

I couldn't even say that better, ryan, from a 38000 foot view here, which is two times 19,000ft, when you take a thousand and you divide that by a, you get 19. But when you put all hands on deck here in the back end in the bandwidth. Look, I'm not trying to boil an ocean here, but when you want to get down to the brick and mortar business of the table buy in buzzworthy, change agent, circle back. I'm just reading words now.

[Ryan Nanni]

Farm to table.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm just reading.

[Jason Kirk]

I'm just reading topic headings on LinkedIn. That's okay. Listen, if you sat through all this, we have a really important job for you now. Because if we've learned anything from the discovery that that flock cameras all contain multiple grams of harvestable gold and silver and sometimes zinc and cobalt. If we learned anything, if we've learned anything from that, it's that we're not taking enough advantage of the fact that we live in post truth society. And we're going to have to get our message out there. If you're hearing this now, especially if you're a child, you're our street team. Go to school, go to the barbershop, go to your third party space that still exists. Sure. Go to YMCA basketball practice and say, have you heard about the 19 team college football playoff post? About it everywhere you can smoke while you were doing so somebody asked us the other day are is the full cast the Internet's last pro smoking podcast? We said, no, we're a pro death podcast. That's not the same thing. But if you're. Listen, if you're hearing us right now, you know what's great about this? Do you know what the best part of all this is? Have you guys seen there was a thread going around about this over the weekend about how everybody who's reporting on the college football play playoff and is doing so credulously. Ryan, I'm assuming you've heard an earful about this because Godfrey is really mad about it. How about how everybody's. We've gotten so lazy that everybody reporting like straight up reporting from the College Football Playoff and doing so by just paring talking points is not even changing the talking points. Like they're just repeating the same thing and they're probably, those people are probably going to get what they want, the College Football Playoff. So you know, what's to stop us from applying the same strategy here? All we have to do is repeat this over and over again.

[Ryan Nanni]

I think Claude, could you please summarize all this and paste it on Josh Pate's head?

[Michael Felder]

Thanks to Damarino's coke butt, we got 19 team playoff.

[Jason Kirk]

Well, I'll be a Josh Pate tramp stamp.