Pounce On Bad Vibes

Summary

Shutdown Fullcast – Episode: "Pounce On Bad Vibes"

Release Date: June 3, 2026
Hosts: Spencer Hall, Holly Anderson, Jason Kirk, (Band Member), et al.

Episode Overview

In this characteristically sprawling and offbeat episode, the Shutdown Fullcast gang riff on everything from email mishaps and grocery store etiquette to restaurant war stories and, eventually, college football’s tangled web of egos, rivalries, and perennially bad vibes. Largely, the episode uses humor and winding tangents to lampoon the drama around Texas, Texas Tech, and the politics of football punditry, before veering into consulting advice for sports-obsessed politicians and, finally, indulging in long-form satirical bits about ninjas, Shaolin monks, and the repeated suffering of Knicks fans.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Email Misadventures & Social Compacts

• [00:00–06:16] Holly’s Email Accident Saga:
  • Holly describes the perennial chaos of having a common name and being an early Gmail adopter, resulting in constant misdirected emails meant for other "Holly Andersons" worldwide.
  • A recent, notably persistent series involves an apartment manager in Wales mistakenly listing her as a lease guarantor — compounded by Gmail quirks regarding dots in addresses.
  • This devolves into a meta-discussion on the etiquette of responding to email mistakes: is it kinder to respond or leave it alone?
  • Notable Quote:

    "I feel like writing back further would embarrass both of us." — Holly Anderson [03:21]

• [06:16–10:23] Grocery Stores & Social Risks:
  • The crew debates the increasingly fraught experience of interacting with strangers at the grocery store, from Holly’s failed attempt at levity in an aisle to Spencer’s friendly run-ins with the deli staff at Publix.
  • Notable Quote:

    "I go in, they make fun of me, and then I get some lunch meat out of it. It’s great." — Spencer Hall [09:35]

2. Restaurant Industry War Stories

• [10:23–19:22]:

  • The crew shares a flood of stories about their stints in various restaurant roles: busboys, deli workers, cooks, bartenders.
  • Ongoing themes include the outsized drama, wild personalities, and unique socioeconomic microcosm of kitchen and restaurant life.
  • Notable Quotes:

    "The most normal person in one of the kitchens I worked in was a guy who had to flee Kenya for political reasons." — Spencer Hall [10:29]
    "Every day is a new sitcom. It’s a dark sitcom." — Jason Kirk [12:15]

• Hierarchy, Relationships, and Fixer Dynamics:

  • In restaurants, gender roles and "fixer" dynamics often invert, with male cooks convinced "I can fix her."
  • Tangents include manager debauchery, contractor drama, and the camaraderie of staff learning arcane knowledge from each other (e.g., surf music, pro wrestling history).
  • Memorable Bit:

    "I've seen with the Nigerian line cook... at a game day bar in Knoxville." — Holly [19:52]

3. Homeowner Nightmares

• [20:39–26:49]:
  • The episode shifts into a cathartic (and very funny) exchange on the agonies of homeownership as various hosts recount a recent run of floods, broken pipes, wasp nests, vent hood mysteries, and ruinous repairs.
  • This segment is laced with gallows humor about the endless, Sisyphean struggle of keeping a house together.
  • Notable Quotes:

    "This is functionally jail with snacks for him." — Spencer Hall on his son’s screenless international flight [92:54]

4. Texas vs. Texas Tech & Steve Sarkisian’s 'Bad Vibes'

• [27:43–55:45]:
  • The crew finally pivots to college football, dissecting Texas Tech coach Joey McGuire’s legendary post-Texas speech ("I told you they would break"), and Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian’s schedule-talk-baiting.
  • They criticize Sarkisian’s "low stakes" schedule trash talk, his lack of conference titles ("one outright title in 11 years"), and the performative toughness of both school’s rhetoric.
  • On sports media, they skewer a recent Atlantic piece about politicians courting fan credibility by talking ball, mocking the idea of "pouncing on Arch Manning" and offering instead a populist, labor-oriented critique:

    "Always shit on the coach. Yeah." — Jason Kirk [53:12]

  • Advice is unerringly to attack the coach, never the player:

    "If you say our team's head coach is an idiot... All Texas fans, if they're mad, agree with you. All other fans say haha, they have an idiot head coach. I like this guy..." — Jason Kirk [52:39]

5. Satirical Political Consulting for Sports Fans

• [55:45–61:41]:
  • Pivoting meta, the show lampoons the idea of political consultancy for sports fans and candidates — how to feign “knowing ball,” manage appearances at games, and milk populist vibes by sitting in bad seats and favoring a losing team.
  • Examples include Bill Clinton as a subtle, “authentic” Razorbacks fan, and Obama’s quiet White Sox allegiance.
  • Notable Quotes:

    "The best way to support your team is by putting yourself in the roster. Not as, like, ‘I am the guy who is here and now I will attend your game beneficently.’" — Spencer Hall [59:19]

6. NYC, Knicks Misery, & Acceptable Sports Conduct for Politicians

• [61:41–68:20]:
  • Further mock-consulting, the hosts rant about New York politicians accepting bets from villainous Texas senators, how Knicks fans would never stoop to collegial wagers, and the unique suffering and pessimism of the Knicks crowd over the years.
  • Memorable Riff:

    "If you're about serving the people that you represent, you represent Knicks fans. And... all Knicks fans had a difficult quarter century." — Spencer Hall [65:31]

7. NBA Tangents: Wembanyama, Chet Holmgren, and the Making of a Nemesis

• [68:20–77:47]:
  • The show spirals into an epic riff about Victor Wembanyama’s mythical qualities, Shaolin training, and (semi-jokingly) his "one true adversary," Chet Holmgren.
  • This includes absurd visions of Chet training with rival monks and the escalating arms race of basketball gonzo narratives.
  • Notable Quotes:

    "The monks of Shaolin shall now unite, burning to eliminate the threat of Chet from the world." — Spencer Hall [75:31]

8. Home Field Apparel Ad Reads & Merchandise Bits

• [77:48–81:13]:
  • Ad break content (skipping as per guidelines), but uniquely carried out as a wandering, joke-heavy in-universe conversation.

9. Outro: Plugs, Music Media Tangent, and CD Nostalgia

• [81:48–end]:
  • Multiple miscellaneous plugs:
    • Patreon episodes with deep comic book nerdery (Colossus, Phoenix Force).
    • Channel 6 newsletter ("college football calendar" proposals).
    • Until Saturday newsletter at The Athletic.
    • Band member’s shows and CD merch sales (lengthy tangent about CD/vinyl nostalgia and Elton John’s buying habits).
    • Phantom Island show (microwave server produced).
  • Show closes with Spencer lamenting his son's "screenless" international flight, riffing that such deprivation will turn him into a monkish ninja hero.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I go in, they make fun of me, and then I get some lunch meat out of it. It’s great." — Spencer Hall [09:35]
• "Every day is a new sitcom. It’s a dark sitcom." — Jason Kirk [12:15]
• "Attack the strength. That’s what you do. What’s Sarkeesian’s strength here? Well, that’s a quarterback guru..." — Spencer Hall [53:40]
• "You always shit on the coach." — Holly Anderson [53:51]
• "If you're about serving the people that you represent, you represent Knicks fans." — Spencer Hall [65:31]
• "The monks of Shaolin shall now unite, burning to eliminate the threat of Chet from the world." — Spencer Hall [75:31]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–06:16: Holly’s Email Adventure
• 06:16–10:23: Grocery store behavioral collapse + Publix “Chris” story
• 10:23–19:22: Restaurant industry war stories and life skills
• 19:22–26:49: Homeowner misery, compounding repairs
• 27:43–46:47: Texas, Texas Tech, Sarkisian, and football "bad vibes"
• 46:47–55:45: College football playoff, schedule strength, and conference realignment
• 55:45–61:41: Sports consultancy for politicians (how to “know ball”)
• 61:41–68:20: Knicks, New York sports, and the psychology of fan service
• 68:20–77:47: NBA riffing, Wembanyama/Chet Holmgren, Shaolin/ninja lore
• 77:48–81:13: (Ad section skipped)
• 81:48–end: Plugs, CD/nostalgia tangent, show close with "ninja son"

---

Episode Tone & Style

• Highly conversational, improvisational, and frequently absurd.
• Wry, sardonic humor about sports, life, and the human condition.
• Frequent digressions and meta-commentary.
• Emphasis on “vibe analysis” over serious sports coverage.

---

For Listeners Who Missed It

• This episode is less about stats or scores and more about the ever-expanding world of sports-adjacent neuroses: adulthood, labor, rivalry, home repair, and petty beefs.
• Deepest insight: "Bad vibes" matter as much as hard results in the world of college football — in both coaching and fandom.
• Tangents are the point; football only becomes relevant once the vibes in other topics have been fully analyzed and roasted.
• If you want laughs, comic-book-level villainy, and the best existential take on Texas football, this is an episode to savor.

---

Shutdown Fullcast: It’s about college football, unless something weirder presents itself.

Transcript

[Holly Anderson]

So I get emails for other Holly's Anderson, like, you know, all the time. I was an early Gmail adopter. So like my email address is just my name, right? And my favorite one is I get caught up in there. There's one Holly Anderson who's a horse doctor in Idaho. And so I get a lot of angry 4H parents to that for, for some like, for just various horse related, horse related mishaps. But there's like, there's like one girl in Australia and there's one girl in the UK who are signed up for like every shopping email list under the sun. And I get for them all the time. I just delete it. So anyway, this is, this has been going on, I've had this email address for like 22 years, right? So this is just a normal part of my day. And it is usually like, wake up, delete all these emails, right? Because it's, it's overseas. And so this morning I get one and like, I don't, I don't know why this one caught my eye. It was, it was from a, a guy with a, like an apartment manager in Swansea, I think, who was saying, you know, hey, you've been listed as the guarantor for this apartment. Can you fill out these forms and get back to him? And I'm like, okay, I don't want to like somebody out of their apartment just because the landlord wrote the email address down, right? So I write back. I never do this, I should emphasize, like, if it's, if it sounds like something super urgent, like I'll get a lot of. There's a school system that has me in their email in like Kansas. But like, you know, like, if it, if it seems urgent, I will be like, hey, you've got the wrong email.

[Band Member]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

So I write back to this dude. His name's Andrew. Hi, Andrew. And hey. Got the wrong email address. And he's like, you know, oh, sorry, keep it moving. Like five minutes later, I get the same email again. And it is to my email address without the dot, which in Gmail is the same. You can put the dot anywhere. It doesn't do anything. It's just for punctuation. And I wrote back and I was like, hey, sorry, me again. And he was like, oh, I must have typed it twice. And I'm like, okay, this is, this is a boomer or something. And I was like, hey, you know, actually wherever you put the dot, it doesn't matter. It's the same address in Gmail. So, you know, you might want to, you Might want to check with the tenant, you know. And he wrote back and he was like, just to be clear, you don't have a brother named Josh? I do have a brother named oh boy.

[Band Member]

Oh.

[Holly Anderson]

Who absolutely would ask me to be a guarantor for him without telling me. This is absolutely something that he would do. I'm almost positive he doesn't live in Wales right though. So I'm like, you know, no, I don't actually. I, I wrote back. I told him. I was like, that is my brother's name. I do not live in the uk. I am sorry about that. I think I said I'm sorry.

[Band Member]

Oh wow.

[Holly Anderson]

And he just wrote back and he's like, haha, thanks for being a good sport. Like, okay, like ten minutes go by. I get. This was right before we hopped on. I get another email and it's to the same email address, but the H is capitalized now.

[Band Member]

Oh no.

[Holly Anderson]

And it's the same. And I'm just like, I'm. I feel like I should write back again. But also I'm embarrassed for both of us at this point. It. Does that make sense, right? Like I, I feel like writing back it. Would it be meaner to write back to him again or just to like ignore it and make him get the. And make him realize that this is not. Also, at what point do you just hit up the brother and say, hey,

[Band Member]

yeah, Josh, Things are like, I assume

[Holly Anderson]

you have another way to contact this person.

[Spencer]

Here's here.

[Band Member]

So you've done more. I like that you said I'm a nice person because you've done more than I would have done at this point already.

[Jason]

It does make me not better.

[Band Member]

I would not have replied at all. I would have been like, this is not my problem. And then the fact that you kept it going. You've been so nice. My advice now is to just let this go and it will work out. Like the fact that this guy's messed it up so many times now. He will, he will acknowledge hopefully to the per. To this nice Welsh Holly Anderson that you know. Oh, I've really stepped in it here. Let me double check your email address and. But I think you're out at this point because I think you're just going to confuse him more. He doesn't know what he. This is the first time he's probably done some sort of tenant agreement via email or maybe only like the third time in the last 15 years type

[Holly Anderson]

deal has a Gmail address.

[Band Member]

One thought I had is. And Jason Spencer, maybe you can weigh in and help me here if Holly doesn't know this. Maybe you do know this, Holly. But, like, for most domains in the UK, it's like.co.uk does Gmail have a co.uk I don't know thing. And it's HollyAnderson Gmail co.uk and I

[Spencer]

think that's for websites. I think you just.

[Band Member]

That's just for websites.

[Spencer]

Okay.

[Holly Anderson]

It is weird that Spencer is the one that knows that, but.

[Spencer]

Okay, I know that because I had some. Some UK bros on our F1 chat. So they were just Gmail, so. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

All right.

[Spencer]

Unless. Unless they're just like. Unless they're so pro Brexit that they're like, no, mate, you give me do print.

[Jason]

It's just dot com.

[Band Member]

Yeah, it's just dot com. Yeah, this is. This is. Maybe it's two ends and he's missing an N. Or it's like Holly a Anderson.

[Holly Anderson]

Or. Or there's like. It's usually. Usually when people this up, it's whoever they're trying to reach spells at Holly

[Band Member]

with an E. Oh, yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Like, it's either an ey or an I. Yeah. So anyway, I, like, I'm surprised at how bad I feel, I guess, is what I'm trying to get at.

[Band Member]

Well, the Welsh never did anything to anybody, right?

[Holly Anderson]

No, I. Genuinely harmless, man. But also, I feel like writing back further would embarrass both of us.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Band Member]

Like, for you, it says you got way too much time on your hands to be able to tend to this situation. For him, it's like, hey, it's 2026. You got to figure this out. This is email. This is the easy part.

[Holly Anderson]

Well, I. I just. I, like, I was like, man, it's. It's hard to. It. I don't know if it's as hard to find a place right now in the UK as it is here, but, like, I feel for you, Josh. What. Whatever's going on.

[Spencer]

I mean, Welsh Holly's. Well, you should have, like, four Ls to be fair to differentiate.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, it should be like, Holly, Holly, wd. Only it's pronounced like.

[Jason]

Yeah, I'm.

[Spencer]

I'm just very happy that this.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, wait, now I have Welsh friends. I wonder if we can get a horse skull.

[Spencer]

I'm just happy that you have this. We have four skulls at home. I'm just happy that you're getting the great. The great British customer service service experience.

[Holly Anderson]

Customer service experience. Okay. James Bond

[Spencer]

that you're getting this experience that's been promised to me by an entire canon of British comedy shows, right? Where someone attempts to perform a simple task and 22 minutes later, we've done something absolutely drastic.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, excuse me. Oh, excuse me.

[Spencer]

Oh, excuse me, excuse me. This Holly Anderson. Oh, no. We've signed the estate over to another Holly Anderson. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Do you know, the meanest I've ever felt in my life towards another human being was also a situation like this. I was in. I was in the grocery store and this is years ago, and I did the. I still remember this man because if I ever see him again, it's. It's on. Not in a good way, but we. I was there was. You know, there's like a display out in the aisle and I've got a cart and this guy's got a car and we're going towards each other and we do the like, oh, one side. Oh, the other side. Oh. And we do this like three times. And I was like, haha, you want to dance? And he just gave me this look. Like I'm like, come on, man. I'm trying to navigate the social compact here.

[Band Member]

I stopped smiling at people in the grocery stores because it always. I. It just never goes well. Like, being nice in the grocery store doesn't get you anywhere. I've stopped smiling at people. I. Now if someone's in an aisle, I can come back to it. Grocery stores ain't that big. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna interact with anyone because people are super weird in the grocery store for some reason.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, I don't. It was a stern lesson.

[Spencer]

Maybe this, this. I think this says as much about me as it does the grocery store experience. I don't find that to be true. So I guess I'm the weird one in the grocery store, right? Like, I'm the one who's like, hey, how you doing? And they're like this loud man barked at me.

[Band Member]

Like, I don't mind when that happens, like if someone else initiates it, but I'm not willing to take the risk at this point. You know, I'm. It's like, I do it with the employees. I'm very friendly to the employees, but like to the other patrons, I just don't pay them attention. But this really nice man at the Fresh Market about a month ago asked me just everything about myself at the sushi counter. And that was a pleasant experience, but he initiated it. I was not going to do that.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah, that's. I, I have had. I did tell you about my, my Chris experience, right? That I get called Chris at the deli. Counter.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, is this the Publix lady? Yes.

[Spencer]

The public ladies are still calling me Chris, which is nice if they're working. Hey, Chris. Hi.

[Holly Anderson]

You don't look like a Chris.

[Spencer]

I don't look like Chris Stapleton, but evidently I do.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, is that what that is? Okay.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah. No, they're like, hey, have you played

[Holly Anderson]

air guitar back at them or anything?

[Spencer]

No, I. I haven't.

[Holly Anderson]

Do you tip an imaginary hat?

[Spencer]

Yeah, I do tip an imaginary hat, actually.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, do you really? Do you really?

[Spencer]

Yeah, and they crack up.

[Holly Anderson]

That's adorable.

[Spencer]

It's.

[Band Member]

It's melodies.

[Spencer]

It's one of.

[Band Member]

It's.

[Spencer]

It's one of the best, like, light social relationships I have in life is with the deli ladies.

[Holly Anderson]

That public, like with the Basil guy.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. I go. I go in, they make fun of me, and. And then I get some lunch meat out of it. It's great.

[Band Member]

Working at a grocery store deli was the most fun of any of the shitty jobs that I had. It was just all the time cutting up with these old ladies. They were the best.

[Spencer]

Yeah, I think that's a good one. I think I really enjoyed. I really enjoyed being a busboy because you didn't have to engage with people, right? But at the same time, you got to watch everyone crash out behind the scenes. And that was delightful. Right? That's where, that's where you learn what cooks are. When you go, hey, what's happened in a cook's life to bring them back here and be a cook? And you're like, a lot, a lot. And they're gonna, they're gonna make a lot happen to you if you're.

[Band Member]

You're a bare knuckle. You were a bare knuckle boxer and they called you stinger.

[Spencer]

That's your story. The most normal person, the most well adjusted person in one of the kitchens I worked in was a guy who had to flee Kenya for political reasons. That's amazing.

[Band Member]

I worked with a guy, the exact same thing. His name was cc. Was yours his name cc?

[Spencer]

No. No.

[Band Member]

Okay.

[Spencer]

If he's out there, he didn't pay

[Band Member]

his taxes and got him one time, that was fucked.

[Jason]

But he.

[Band Member]

He was back at work in a couple weeks.

[Jason]

That is. Political reasons is a good term for that. I'm gonna try that one.

[Spencer]

Is that.

[Jason]

What.

[Spencer]

Is that what this guy does, is that he just goes around the world working as a cook until he's busted for tax evasion? Right?

[Band Member]

Yeah, he was a baker. He was a baker at the Fresh Market. He was so cool. He was the nicest guy. But they did, but the ir. But like the feds did come get him one time and we were like, why are they. What's wrong? And they were like, he hasn't paid his taxes in seven years.

[Holly Anderson]

Now he's more relatable.

[Jason]

It's okay.

[Spencer]

I'm sorry. I thought this was America.

[Band Member]

He, I, he, I think he legit didn't know. And it was fine and he's fine. And he was fine after that. So he came back. I think it was okay.

[Holly Anderson]

Good.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Spencer]

What a man. Yeah. Our guy was George Amari. George Amari was the guy. And he was the most normal person there. And everyone else, you're like, everyone else was a story where you go, if you had put it on Reddit, it would be the main character today, right? It would be like, so my wife, the ex wife, who's also my wife because I married her again. So she, after she, she put down the gun and I thought, well, dang, I know I'm gut shot, ain't got but a little bit of time. So I went and smoked a bowl, sat out, called 91 1. I figured, what the hell? Sepsis or not, I'm gonna go out on my terms. And that's high as fuck, brother. And you're like, okay, cool.

[Jason]

That like there are lots of workplaces where you have non descript co workers. That does not happen at a restaurant. Everyone at a restaurant is descript. Like, they're all in character. Every day is a new sitcom. It's a dark sitcom. Like, you'll walk back and just someone will be revealing who pegs who. And now you know that. You just know that and you just get. All right, all right, I'm taking these, I'm taking these chips out. Now that I know that there are

[Spencer]

inevitably two line cooks who are attempting to secure a lifelong relationship on a financial, sexual and personal and spiritual basis with at least two of the servers at any point. Right?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

So line cooks are looking at them going like, I will give you my whole paycheck. Come home with.

[Jason]

Whereas all the hostesses are deciding which of the cooks will be there. Like, entry to the darkness of like, you will be the one who will create the evil hostess within me. Like, like every cook is like, this is the angel I will corrupt. And like all they're talking about is like, which drugs are going to do together, you know?

[Holly Anderson]

But it's like there is this weird reverse dynamic in gender. Reverse dynamic. I have found in Restaurants where it's the dudes who are like, I can fix her.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Which I find mostly to be happening in the other gender direction on the outside.

[Jason]

I think if. If the definition of fix could go in innumerable directions. But yeah, fixes in. She'll have a lot of tattoos.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

By me.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Band Member]

He only smokes Marlboro Reds now.

[Spencer]

I gotta go back to Southern Miss in two months. I need to make this count. Okay.

[Jason]

I need to look. I need to look like I got up to a lot of stuff this summer.

[Holly Anderson]

Not a problem. Says the guy in the walk in who's gonna let you try Molly for the first time on his cousin's boat. Nothing. That's not specific. Don't worry about it.

[Band Member]

What's up, Tripp?

[Spencer]

I had a manager who came in

[Holly Anderson]

that's really close to his actual name.

[Spencer]

Of course it is. I had a manager who came in one night, and he had two black eyes. And this is a manager, right? And, you know, we asked him, hey, what the hell happened, dude? He goes, oh, no, it was crazy. I got into this, like, fight. And, you know, last night at the bar, it was, you know, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. It was. It was crazy. Okay, cool. All right. That's the story. And later on, we're talking with the line cooks and everything. They're like, yeah, man, listen, we saw him at the bar last night, and he left, and he didn't get into a fight at all. And we're like, oh, that's cool. He goes, hey, one of us gave him a ride. Eventually, we ferreted out that this guy had gotten very high on cocaine, and then he had gotten very drunk. Then he'd gotten a little higher on cocaine, and that he had driven without a seatbelt and crashed into a tree like, 30ft out of the parking lot. Like, everyone had seen this.

[Holly Anderson]

So he's. So it's fine.

[Jason]

The managing. The managing of the ups and downs, carefully calibrated, ready to drive.

[Holly Anderson]

That is the best possible outcome of that scenario, too.

[Spencer]

It really is. But, like, he did the Ken Marino, wet hot summer, American summer thing where he was just like, drive, drive, drive, drive. Tree, like, didn't even look like just. Just plowed into it. His face hit the steering wheel. That's what gave him, like, the. The double black eyes, right? And like, they're like, yeah, man. You go out to see his car, it's, like, out there, and you're like, his car. His car looks like he hit a tree. And he tried to drive it to work.

[Band Member]

He didn't call in, though.

[Spencer]

He didn't call in. And I'm proud to be an American.

[Jason]

There was. I was the best boy at a resort in Arizona where like the. And like, resort restaurant is like, oh, God. It was just all sorts of debauchery. That's like, this ain't my business, man. I've been married for eight minutes here at the age of 20. Or whatever I was.

[Spencer]

Yeah, so.

[Jason]

So, like, I'm. I have an excuse to not know about any of this stuff.

[Holly Anderson]

It's a different. You don't get regulars.

[Jason]

Partly.

[Band Member]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Like you. You don't have people who are going to ever face social consequences.

[Holly Anderson]

But I worked at a hotel bar for a while, and it was very. That was very much a problem.

[Jason]

The owner, we had to like, there's this whole system that I managed to excuse myself from that was basically amounting to managing his mistresses.

[Spencer]

Like,

[Jason]

she can't. She can't eat here tonight because his wife is here. And I'm just like, dog, just tell me where to throw the dishes away.

[Band Member]

Did you just write A season of the White Lotus?

[Jason]

I was the most, like, oblivious intentionally. Not because I was stupid or naive, but just because, like, I do not give a shit to be involved in any of this. I want to move back home out of this resort as quickly as possible. But yes, the busboy is this weird, like, go between. Between all the drama, like you're saying Spencer, like, oh, yeah, you're like the drummer in the band or the bassist in the band or something.

[Spencer]

The bus boy. The busboy is the. In every single English manner, drama. There is the servant class that gets to listen in on, like, listening on the Duke being like, yes, yes, we need the Vicont dead by Wednesday.

[Jason]

And they don't care if you're overhearing. Like, you are the least important fig. So you hear all the gossip if anyone ever cared to ask you about it, but everyone assumes you don't know.

[Spencer]

Yeah, they're like, oh, he can't talk.

[Jason]

You are the fly on the wall.

[Spencer]

Yeah, this was. This was a great. Like, this was a great learning experience for me because I would hang out with the Mexican and El Salvadorian busboys who all, to a man, had some kind of intense, very specific cultural knowledge about something American that they had decided was their thing. And it was awesome. Like, one guy was like, one. At one time there was this song on, and I was like, oh, man, what is that? And he's like, oh, that's Santo and Johnny. I'm like, okay, okay, okay. Hey, are you into surf music? And he's like, oh, man, I thought you never asked. Anyway, like, an hour and a half later, I got, you know, like, we're working and we're doing stuff. And he's like, yeah, so, you know, Dick Dale got his sound from this guy.

[Jason]

So he's lower, dumping for the rest. For the rest of his life.

[Spencer]

Best things they all had.

[Jason]

That's the guy who wants to hear about surf music? Yeah.

[Spencer]

They're like, oh, yeah. Like, that's how I learned a lot about wrestling. Like, not Lucha, right? No, no, no, no, no. I learned a lot. They're like, no, no, no, listen, WCW. No, pre. They were like, here's NWA. Listen, the belt has been around for 95 years, and I'm like, alejandro, I have learned so much today.

[Band Member]

Put the flag on the cowboy.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah,

[Spencer]

yeah. His name was George Gotch, and he was the best catch wrestler of his era. Sitting there smoking by the dumpster. Like, this is incredible. Yeah, I'm not going. What? Those tables can stack up. I need to find out what happened to the intercontinental belt in 1923. Yeah, they all had something very, very specific. It's. It's the best learning experience that you can have. Like, for Channel 6, we did, like, nationalized Taco Bell. I think that's just my backdooring of the idea that we should all do a year's worth of service in.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Spencer]

The restaurant industry. Just so you can understand the depth, complexity.

[Holly Anderson]

Restaurant or retail?

[Jason]

Everybody has everyone. I would say, at least two years. And like.

[Band Member]

Yeah.

[Jason]

To me, that is more important than the National Guard or Peace Corps or, you know, whatever. Any. Any of that stuff.

[Holly Anderson]

Like.

[Jason]

No, no, no. You got to be in the actual trenches. We're going to put you in the actual front lines.

[Holly Anderson]

Yep.

[Spencer]

I need you to learn how to open a beer with at least four things that are not a beer.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh. We had a line cook who could. Who could open it with his belly button.

[Spencer]

That's incredible.

[Holly Anderson]

I've seen with the Nigerian line cook.

[Jason]

Was that the Claremont?

[Holly Anderson]

No, this was at. This was, however, at a game day bar in Knoxville. So kind of.

[Band Member]

Go Walls.

[Holly Anderson]

Go Walls.

[Spencer]

Sam to the shutdown, full cast, beginning after a brisk 20 minutes.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Spencer]

That was. Yeah, that's it.

[Jason]

You're going lightning mode, huh?

[Holly Anderson]

Cuz Ryan's not here.

[Spencer]

I know, I know.

[Jason]

I like to string.

[Spencer]

I like to string him out a little.

[Jason]

He really is so slow. He's so slow.

[Holly Anderson]

I don't.

[Jason]

I don't know, I. I just sort of going along with whatever the hypothesis was.

[Holly Anderson]

Wait, was Ryan supposed to be gone today?

[Spencer]

No, he's late scratch. Late scratch today due to house, which.

[Jason]

Oh, no.

[Spencer]

Yeah. He's entering one of two stages.

[Holly Anderson]

Did I miss that?

[Spencer]

Yes, that was just now, like, just a couple of minutes ago. So, yeah, he's entering the. One of two modes of home ownership. One is, it's fine. It's pretty good. And then the second is, I would like to destroy this house.

[Jason]

Oh, we had that last week, right before we were.

[Holly Anderson]

Did we all have that last week?

[Jason]

So we had the basement flooded like never before, and there was a circuit breaker situation where the power would only come on if we turn the breakers off. You don't want that.

[Spencer]

Sure, sure.

[Jason]

I'm kind of forgetting, like, eight other things that happened. It was a fucking melt.

[Spencer]

Some roof. Some roof damage.

[Jason]

There was. There was roof shit. Okay. Yeah, there was. There. It was like. I don't know. We're pulling, like, a whole fucking chocolate cake out of one of the gutters, you know? Oh, just. Wow. So there's one of our problems, that type of thing. Yeah, it was bad. What. What all did y' all have going on?

[Spencer]

So.

[Holly Anderson]

So also, I should point out that I don't know what amount of house is going on, but one of the last times I talked to Ryan before recording the show, I just got a picture of an entire toilet turned on its side on the floor in his bathroom. So I'm hoping that whatever's happening there, they get that gets resolved. So Tuesday morning of last week, like, the day we recorded the last show, we had the conclusion of Surprise Creek, which involved, yeah, an entire new water line being run down from the street. And also there was a little nominative determinism there. This involved a guy from the city named Rodney with a dowsing rod trying to douse where the water break was. This involved a firefighter from the city of Atlanta using a racist term that I have never heard outside of Deadwood in real life. Also a term that applied to no one who was there or who was talking about. So I'm not real sure. Like some real Bobby Bowden shit, Like

[Jason]

possibly just using it as an expletive maybe.

[Holly Anderson]

He was like, I heard all the houses in this neighborhood are being bought up by Blank, in which he issued a word, a term that made me think that we were on HBO, like,

[Jason]

1906 in a way where you're like, no in here fits that.

[Holly Anderson]

No.

[Jason]

Bad description.

[Holly Anderson]

Not. Yeah, it was. It was very Odd. So this concluded with getting our actual plumber, who's a hero, who's been through all the. At this house comes back on Tuesday. We get the water line laid in Wednesday morning. So, like, water. Water is fixed. Water is restored to the house. This has been like a two week ordeal at this point. That includes, at one point, I think I said this on hand in the dirt. So you should go listen to that for the whole story. Me not being able to track down the city inspector who issued a stop work order at the illegal construction in the house across the street because she had the exact same name as a cast member of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Not just any cast member of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, but one who was on America's Most Wanted for enticing her three sons to murder their dad and fleeing the scene, which she justifies in a classic reality TV I'm not here to make Friends video. So anyway, so we get the water back Tuesday, Wednesday morning, I walk out into the living room and there is a water stain on the ceiling. And I'm like, oh, God. So there's. There have been storms. And I was like, okay, a tree branch has fallen. That. That did not turn out to be that. That turned out to be like a shingle had slipped or something. It was very minor. But that was last Wednesday, and we had like five days of no shows from the roofers, so that didn't get fixed until yesterday. So I'm really excited to find out what all water is in there. Then on Saturday, we had a different pipe in the basement just bust. And so, like, walk into the den, like next to the warhammer chamber, right? And it's. It's like that carpet is just soaking wet. So the plumber. I hit the. See, this is a guy who knows the social compact because the plumber came back in. I was like, we got to stop meeting him like this. And he laughed. I'm forgetting something. Yeah, there was something else.

[Jason]

It happens.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, it was. It was a compound. It was a compound house. Fuckery. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. Best part. Best part in the middle of all this, supposed to be getting a vent hood installed because this insane house did not come with a vent hood. Have a contractor who's a friend of a longtime friend of the program. Thank you, Verb, for lending us your contractor. He's a great dude. We crack open the ceiling to put the vent hood in above the kitchen island, which inexplicably does not have a functioning vent. And we find surprise duct that goes

[Spencer]

through which is awesome.

[Holly Anderson]

Which is actually good because it turns like what was going to be a three day job into a four hour job. Because there is a duct, there was a vent hood at some point that somebody just took out and replaced with track lighting. Sure, whatever. And so they don't have to install a vent or anything. It goes to the outside. The contractor is head and shoulders inside the ceiling, and I hear him say, do you have any hornet spray? There's a wasp nest living in our kitchen ceiling. No one was stung. Which kind of feels like a miracle and also feels like it's going to make the next thing be way worse. I think at the moment. I think at the moment we're okay. Something. Something else horrible will happen before the show comes up tomorrow. But my. My house is doing the good thing. You're cute.

[Band Member]

I'm doing the knock on wood thing for you.

[Jason]

Sorry.

[Spencer]

Yeah, Appreciate it.

[Holly Anderson]

I was like, sir, but you're gonna go like, knock, knock, and your office ceiling's gonna cave in again. Again.

[Spencer]

No, this.

[Band Member]

This will not shout out to hammer homes. That will last until I die. Which could be soon. Who knows?

[Jason]

But if a different. If a different part falls on you.

[Holly Anderson]

Yes.

[Spencer]

All right, listen, that's a different warranty. We'll deal with that when we get to it. All right.

[Holly Anderson]

This is all this is. Man, what a weird. Are there. Is there a zodiac for inanimate objects? Are all houses in retrograde?

[Spencer]

Yes, it's the Home Depot zodiac. And all of it tells you that the real dream is to blow your house up. Yeah, that's it. One day. One day. Sweet dream.

[Holly Anderson]

I've been repeating money isn't real to myself a lot in the last couple weeks.

[Spencer]

Yeah, just do that. That'll get you through it. I did actually want to talk about one football thing.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, I guess.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Which is to say that. I don't know if you remember a speech after Texas Tech beat Texas and Joey McGuire, head coach of Texas Tech, did this thing where he was like, what did I tell you? I told you they would break and they did. It's the coldest speech because that's exactly what happened. But it's also like, yeah, you broke them because they were weak.

[Holly Anderson]

Not the first time he's ever tweaked Texas either.

[Spencer]

No, I love it.

[Holly Anderson]

It's actually should because he's in Lubbock.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Take every opportunity you can.

[Spencer]

Take every opportunity you can to do that. Right. If you're Texas Tech, by the way. Yeah. What? Whatever.

[Holly Anderson]

Texas left Big 12 because they're scared of y'. All. It's clear.

[Spencer]

That's right. That's right. You know, which is a cost free thing to do. You're never going to have to play them again regularly. You're never going to be in the same conference again, probably. And time is it. And your money separate. Cody Campbell's got y'.

[Jason]

All.

[Spencer]

He's just gonna keep writing checks until he doesn't have any more money because that seems to be his M.O. which is Cody Campbell's prerogative. Wait, you know, good for him. But I, I enjoy this, that, that Joey McGuire after Steve Sarkeesian basically said that Texas Tech played an easy schedule. They said that, you know, hey, listen, if we could probably beat this certain team schedule if we played with our twos and threes and go undefeated. Right.

[Jason]

Which like source. Do you want to raise your expectations a little bit, Sark?

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah, that's a good move.

[Jason]

You want to make sure, make sure that won't come back to haunt you in a few months.

[Holly Anderson]

Why, what else is going on at Texas?

[Jason]

They have to play a lot of football games.

[Spencer]

They have to play a lot.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, you lost any famous families they gotta please right now?

[Spencer]

Couple also. They lost.

[Holly Anderson]

Not even any of the usual ones.

[Spencer]

Yeah, they lost to Florida last year. Y', all.

[Holly Anderson]

We seemed it.

[Jason]

I know this is a slight diversion from McGuire, but I'm sure we'll get back to him. But like a year ago, Sark was talking about, oh, the, the big playoff era. It's going to be impossible for anyone to go undefeated ever again. It's just too hard. It's too hard. Kurt Signetti didn't seem that hard. Really

[Holly Anderson]

bonded by Indiana.

[Jason]

You got, you got so much money, man, in that, in that building, in that program. All that stuff, all that shiny, shiny stuff. It's so hard. Basketball school did it. So anyway, now his whole thing is it's not hard. Put me in the Big 12. It would be easy. It would be so easy to go undefeated. I know I said it's impossible, but

[Holly Anderson]

guys don't have object permanence. You know, we're on, you know you're on television, right, babe?

[Jason]

I mean, I like, I don't know, man. I, I. Not to sound like a coward, but I would rather say it's very hard than it's very easy because the latter is likelier to get you memed just a few games later.

[Spencer]

I mean, I would rather say it was hard because I want our players to know that, you know, I expect things from them. I'm always Talking to them. I'm fully. This is. By the way, if anyone has come of age or been a fan for the past 20 to 30 years, you'll find you have a latent Nick Saban gene that will just start talking through you. I'm doing my hand.

[Holly Anderson]

You're not management.

[Spencer]

You're not management. Yeah. Like, you'll. You'll. You'll do that. And I would much rather consider the notion that I was telling my players that they were going to do hard things and I expected X of them, rather than at any point contextualize football as easy. Right. We're through doing easy things, guys. Like, that's. You'll just start saving out when you do that. Right. Which Steve Sarkeesian should do because the man was in the building. He was right there. Go look on his resume. He's got. He's there for two of them, Right? Two of the national titles that Alabama claims and by all accounts won fairly here.

[Jason]

So controversial.

[Spencer]

Controversial. Take. You can claim those two that I saw you do on television. Alabama. That's fine. I. This is my one. I love that Joey Maguire barked back at him. Because you're Joey McGuire, you might as well do that all day long. Right? Like, that's Joey McGuire's whole thing.

[Holly Anderson]

Just also because it's Cody Campbell, you have no idea. Even if your own team is doing very well, you have no idea how long you're going to be there for either.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Also because it's Cody Campbell, you can talk right now. Because we're all focused on softball. That's right. The real. The real pinnacle of sport, where these

[Jason]

exact two teams are the ones that are playing in the final.

[Spencer]

Right.

[Holly Anderson]

No less.

[Jason]

In case the beef isn't intense enough. But, like, the. There's so much going on here because we also have Joey McGuire in his process of talking, says my dad will buy out our various cupcake games so we can play each other in week one. Not gonna happen. But it's a cute thing to say.

[Spencer]

And I cleared my schedule.

[Jason]

Right? Like. Like Texas are gonna say, cool. Yeah, we'll. We'll do that. And then play Ohio State. Done.

[Spencer]

Win.

[Holly Anderson]

Win. Because it's not going to happen. And now he gets to look like the brave one.

[Jason]

Yeah. I mean, Sark and I don't think

[Holly Anderson]

he would do it.

[Jason]

Sark is the one talking all the shit. It is completely fine for McGuire to be the brave dog barking from the other side of the fence. As we all know, if the fence was not there, he would still be barking the thing about it being a week one game is Texas Tech would quite possibly be starting its third string quarterback because one. One will be in some sort of NFL situation, the other will quite possibly still be hurt. Like the Joe McGuire. Not really scared of much stuff.

[Spencer]

I was. I was also going to say Texas Tech might be starting your third string quarterback by the time this rolls.

[Jason]

A landmark legal situation in which they put the new tampering rules to the test literally as soon as they are. As soon as they are official.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

Why not place them like a landmark than Texas?

[Jason]

Texas Tech should be the center point of every single thing in all of college sports. Let's go for it.

[Spencer]

Starting quarterback Russell Wilson.

[Jason]

It's literally the middle of the map.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Take that money. Right? That's. Sure. Fuck it. Just to give you an idea of how things are now, Texas Tech poached a star athlete from Stanford.

[Jason]

Yeah. Went great.

[Spencer]

It's going awesome. They're super happy.

[Jason]

They went fantastic.

[Spencer]

Making millions to play softball. That kicks ass. Absolutely love that.

[Jason]

It wasn't the first one. See, I was thinking of David Bailey.

[Spencer]

Oh, that too.

[Jason]

It's the pipeline, man. It's postgrad.

[Spencer]

Yeah, that's it.

[Jason]

Where you go for a serious education after you're done around at Stanford.

[Spencer]

Does Palo Alto even have a Cabela's? Please, I. I adore what Joey McGuire is doing. I also would love to point out that Steve Sarkeesian.

[Holly Anderson]

They do. They have a Cabela's.

[Spencer]

They have a Cabela. Yeah.

[Holly Anderson]

It's something. Sorry, can I read the first Yelp review?

[Jason]

Some sort of museum or something.

[Holly Anderson]

It's pretty clear that the majority of people come here to buy ammo. Our 2A rights in California were successfully imprinted upon thanks to the ammo background check. I'm done. That's. You get the idea.

[Jason]

The Palo Alto militia.

[Spencer]

Let me tell you something about this Cabela's. It's a. It's a repository for individual freedoms.

[Holly Anderson]

I've. I've said before that Stanford tailgates are a lot like Alabama's for reasons I've gone into on other shows. Here's just one more to add to the pile.

[Jason]

The 17 Palo Alto rednecks. It's where they hang out.

[Spencer]

That's right. Hey, listen, we got. We gotta stick together.

[Band Member]

We really do.

[Spencer]

There's only those weirdos.

[Jason]

Those weirdos at that school. They're coming for us. They're not coming for you.

[Spencer]

They're not coming. They don't know.

[Jason]

They have never heard of you.

[Holly Anderson]

I mean, they are, but it's with Drones.

[Jason]

Yeah, they're sending those to foreign nations.

[Spencer]

For now. The. Yeah, I wanted to point out too that Steve Sarkeesian can't really talk because I think we've forgotten how long he's been around for.

[Holly Anderson]

His number certainly surprised me when I saw it.

[Spencer]

11 years as a head coach and he has won outright conference title one, which in a devastating argument for Joe McGuire wasn't the Big 12. But. But he has won in all close time, in all of his time as a head coach.

[Jason]

Gotten close to others.

[Spencer]

Close. Yeah, close if you count that. I mean if you think being close is good, Jason, here we go. If you think that's enough, if you think that lives up to the standard, then good for you. Good for you.

[Jason]

If, if I'm going to be someone saying my third stringers would go undefeated in a power conference, yes, close isn't good enough.

[Spencer]

However, that's the. Okay, that's. That's. Hell, that's. That is way not close enough at all. Yeah, yeah, we would do that like real easily. Is that like, like going seven to five every year at Washington? Is that a. Is it that easy? Because that's what I've seen you do. I said 11 full years. He's been around 12. There was the one year where he unfortunately had to quit mid season to go to rehab, which is still one of the wildest fucking stories that I like I can remember. I was like, oh yeah, that coach has got to go. He's got to go to rehab. Well, God damn.

[Jason]

Kind of thing that if they'd been winning a lot of games they would have found some other solution for quote fingers. Solution.

[Spencer]

Most likely. Yeah, most likely. You can remember you can always bring in Ed Ogeron as spot uncle as the.

[Jason]

When you need stability and responsible leadership and just sound sound decisions late in the night at the hotel.

[Band Member]

Well, also I'm available, baby.

[Jason]

You see most people go really hard with their cocho voices. That was a. That was a. That was a. That was a soft, quiet one, I think.

[Band Member]

I ain't been coaching in a while though.

[Jason]

He's chill now.

[Band Member]

Yeah, done. Calm down a little bit.

[Jason]

He's fixed again.

[Band Member]

I found that legal weed. They got the thca. You can have that. That's pretty good.

[Spencer]

That's.

[Jason]

I.

[Spencer]

Did you say that now? I did see a picture from a picture of him. They're like, yeah, Coach O's back and it was him in like a hallway. Like not somewhere where you would normally do this locked up with the defensive lineman. Right. Like trying to teach him a Move going like right away.

[Jason]

Like coach, you have to actually like file paperwork and stuff first.

[Spencer]

Nope, on the job.

[Jason]

On the job. Coach, we have a training hr. HR stuff.

[Spencer]

You hire a coach, so you get

[Jason]

to go to that. To be clear, you do need to attend specifically, sir.

[Spencer]

Yeah, you specifically, sir.

[Jason]

When you said somewhere he shouldn't be, I thought you're talking about like coaches in the back rooms.

[Spencer]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

The place is big. We can throw a big party in here.

[Spencer]

It keeps going. Imagine the practice, the walkthrough. You could do a walkthrough in here and a walk through over there.

[Jason]

Keep walking. I keep walking forever.

[Spencer]

That's coach. Coach. Coach O would be survive the back rooms just fine.

[Jason]

Be fine. What's he going to do? Get scared?

[Spencer]

Someone down that hole?

[Jason]

Something. One big room. That's a tall. You long as hell,

[Spencer]

coach. O.C. slender man.

[Jason]

I seen Slender Man. I lined him up at wide receiver.

[Band Member]

I'm calling.

[Spencer]

I'mma call Will Wade. I'mma call Will Wade and say, hey, I got you one, Slender Man.

[Jason]

I'mma beef your ass up a little bit.

[Spencer]

God damn.

[Jason]

You ain't got no haunches.

[Band Member]

God damn the shutdown full cast for being the way I found out Coach Orgeron had another job at LSU again.

[Spencer]

Yeah. No, I did not know this.

[Band Member]

I did not know this until just now. I've been. I don't. I'm not online.

[Jason]

First time this has happened during the show itself.

[Spencer]

I'm so happy

[Band Member]

I'm not available. Actually, I'll take it back.

[Jason]

I forgot.

[Spencer]

I take it back. I forgot that TA is hard, I tell you so. You were like the real thing, daddy.

[Jason]

The guy who was doing the best impression of guy who was hired did not know current status. That's good.

[Holly Anderson]

Art can take us to a lot of places we don't expect.

[Spencer]

No, like, I love this about LSU right now. It's one of the few things I love about LSU right now. They've already built in their emergency plan. This shit's good.

[Band Member]

I'm. I've.

[Spencer]

Like. I don't.

[Band Member]

I still don't like Lane Kiffin. I automatically think this is going to work now. This is like when Dabo was like, danny Ford, you got an office here? Come on, get up here.

[Spencer]

Just works.

[Jason]

Yeah, always.

[Band Member]

Every time. Works.

[Spencer]

No, they always listen. They always. The minute you sign on to lsu, it's like signing up for some sort of long distance space expedition where they go, okay, listen, if astronaut 1 gets space madness, someone's gonna get space madness. Then we kill him. Put him in the airlock, fire him out and astronaut two becomes navigator. If astronaut two gets space madness, astronaut one's gotta kill him. Like they have. The failure plan is already built into everything, right?

[Holly Anderson]

The event horizon with the X.

[Spencer]

It's next man up for all the wrong. You say.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Holly Anderson]

Huh? Oh.

[Jason]

Oh. I mean, oh, I get it now. I get it now.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

You want.

[Band Member]

I'm gonna go for a run.

[Spencer]

Take my shirt, I think.

[Jason]

So basically what we're saying is they're gonna keep airlocking these morons until Charlie West Juniors and is the stable adult in charge.

[Spencer]

It's part of the plan. I'm telling you, like, they've got it. Oh, they've got it all. You know who they hire? They probably just get Pete Golding down. They're like, bring him in. It's fine.

[Jason]

I wonder what they have to pay Pete Golding pay.

[Spencer]

Well, they're gonna kidnap him, invite him down, be like, hey, Pete, cold beers and good vibes. And he's like, I'll be there, brother.

[Jason]

He's already got those. He's got all of those he can possibly handle.

[Band Member]

I'll burn a couple mixes for the boat.

[Spencer]

I know that man's got a passion for ocean going navigation.

[Jason]

He's got a river kind of. Listen, is he more of a river guy or an ocean guy? Granted, he'd be closer to the river.

[Spencer]

I understand you'd be Baton Rouge. You're very close. You're close enough to throw you in it. Look, there goes Lane, your head coach now, that is. They'll. They just. LSU has the failure. The failure chart already built in as to how they'll react when this goes. That goes for administratively, too.

[Jason]

I think they do, but they don't know that. Like, there is no plan for contingency at lsu. There is no. What if this goes wrong? Clearly.

[Spencer]

Oh, no, no.

[Jason]

It's more just like they have accidentally established. Oh, I guess you're in charge again.

[Spencer]

I would say politically, their practice of, like, political cannibalism, where they're like, sorry, you gotta go. Like, no, like, oh, you've wronged Governor Steve. No, Governor Steve. If you're governor of Louisiana, do you know what that means? Nothing. You're totally disposable. They had Bobby Jindal. Do you know what Bobby Jindal does now, Jack?

[Jason]

Fuck.

[Spencer]

Nothing. He's done. They were like, yes, he's no longer useful. Goodbye. Like, he's. He's out.

[Jason]

Yeah. So it's not about, like, careful backup plans. It's more just a total comfort with chaos.

[Spencer]

It's. It's more of the, like. It's more of the, like, Borg style. This piece does not work. Dispose. Done. Machine keeps working. That's it. They've just. They're. They'll just cheerily dispose of somebody, and then. Then they might invite you back for another job. Yeah, sure. If you made it. If that didn't destroy you. They're like, you seem cool. You should come work for us. He's like, I already did that. It's like, we know. Come back.

[Jason]

Do they do any memory of that?

[Spencer]

Maybe that's it. Maybe this is Goldfish University where they're

[Band Member]

like, oh, look, Coacho.

[Jason]

I mean, Kevin was like, hey, there's this. There's this really big guy I know who's good at, like, these two specific things, and I want Gary's guy to come around, do those two things, and they're like, bring him on. And then they show up and. And they're. And then they're like, oh, right. Remember this guy now? You know, like, it's. I think it's more Kiffin than lsu.

[Spencer]

That's. That's entirely possible. Kiffin Kiffin. Just being the guy who's like, I think he'll just. I think he has very, very bad boundary management, and I think that's probably extends to his coaching staff, too. So he's like. He's like, why not invite a former head coach in? That's fine. Ed's cool. Bring Ed on.

[Jason]

It's all. Well, I think it's. It's also just as much like, you know, it'd be an epic troll as if I hired Edo Jerome that, you know. You know, it would be funny. You know what Elon Musk would think is really funny? Yeah. If he'd ever heard of any of us.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Just tagging Morgan Wallen in a post, like, lol. I hired Ed again. Look, look, Morgan. There you go.

[Holly Anderson]

Uppies, Morgan.

[Jason]

Yeah, but.

[Spencer]

Yeah, no boundary management. Absolutely none. And Lane would do that. Lane would, like, blame. It's like, we don't know. Do you ever really know if you're on Lane Kiffin staff? Do you ever really know that you're not. There's the question.

[Jason]

Pause.

[Spencer]

Yeah, but just remember, that's. That's all my way of saying Steve Sarkeesian's only got one title, one conference title in 11 years of coaching.

[Jason]

That's because he had to play his starters, though. It's because he wasn't able to play these jewels he's hidden on the depth chart that he's waiting to unearth you.

[Spencer]

Just let me get to the tune.

[Jason]

The true riches are below the sediment. All these guys named Hollywood were paying millions of dollars for forcing me to withhold my true. My true weapons.

[Band Member]

Gross.

[Jason]

I gotta play. I gotta play a Manning, not whoever's my third stringer. Maybe that's what he was saying. Now that I think about it, if he's saying our backups are incredible, that really might be saying these starters I have been stuck with, including this one I cannot possibly ever bench. I think we cracked it.

[Spencer]

This arch. This arch guy. Gross. Five stars. Ew. Maybe that's it. That would. I think that's describing way more. The way more actual strategy.

[Jason]

The other thing is, this has been the path toward the. The latest bitching about schedule strength thing. Like, like SEC meetings last week. It was like every other coach is like, well, if we got to be Texas, like they're all lining up behind Sark to just sort of take the argument that Texas Tech played no. 1. And it's like, I mean they. They did. They. It's just weird. They. Texas Tech. This whole thing that Sark somehow started has become the version of this annual thing where basically it amounts to our 8 and 4 team should be in the playoff.

[Spencer]

But yeah, and then I won't get fired.

[Jason]

That's what matters most.

[Spencer]

And then, then I will activate a bonus for going 8 and 4 that my agent cunningly snuck in, which immediately springs up like a bear trap. Right? The school. Schools always get so bad about that. Like, yeah, we got a payment 8 and 4 bonus. It was in the contract. Why'd you sign it?

[Jason]

Yeah, it's one of those things that feels right at the time. Cuz you fired the previous guy for going 7 and 5, so 8 and

[Spencer]

4 technically an improvement. Pay me. That's right, pay me. That's probably talking about Texas. This is not the place, Jason, as you so accurately pointed out in our pre show notes and discussion, which is definitely a discipline thing we do on time, regularly, scrupulously. We're not the podcast who complains about your favorite pinhead or at least favorite pinhead, Northeastern Corridor Intellectual magazine. That's not what we do here.

[Jason]

There are enough people on Blue sky who devote much of their day to telling you which publications they disagree with, because I understand there is a moral currency that comes with this and I'm very glad they get to cash it in. But there was a different thing that emerged as sort of from one of those publications that gets complained about that felt fun to discuss and it was also about Texas. It's from a post at the Atlantic about politicians should learn how to talk sports. The first couple sentences here. The Senate. Senate candidate James Talarico. Is that how you pronounce his name? Possibly. Doesn't need to run away from his meatless taco order. Instead, he could prove that he's a regular guy by calling into ESPN Austin to accuse the University of Texas quarterback Arch Manning of being a Nepo baby who got millions of dollars just for his name. So. No, that's. That's not that. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. No, he should call in to. On Sark, first of all, because. Does Sark have any titles? As Spencer noted? No. Has Sark met the expectations? No, Sark's done. His record's good. His record's great. Has he met the expectations? No. Also shitting on a Manning. It's a Manning. Everyone loves a man. And. And like, again, this is picking on a. An adolescent. Blah, blah, blah.

[Holly Anderson]

Oh, I thought you meant David from was the adolescent.

[Jason]

I'm like, barely know who that is. There is a time to launch a strike on Arch Manning, and that is when he throws that little doink against Ohio State in one of the first games last year. That little yips throw. If you strike right, then you're fine. Otherwise, leave the kid alone. And on Sark, I don't care if he's 11 and one on him, always on the coach. Because you know why? Sark has bad vibes. That's it. It's not about if he's doing a good job. It's about he has bad vibes. Pounce on bad vibes. That is my advice also.

[Spencer]

What do we do is what do we do as politicians? See, we just have to do this as a consultancy because all we do is make money. And the one thing that we can do as a podcast for the political community is this. We can teach you how to know ball. Right. Or how to at least pretend that you know ball.

[Holly Anderson]

And again, the problem here is not. Talrico went to ut. He's not the. He's not the one who needs to be taught here. From Is.

[Spencer]

Yes. Who can I tell you who wrote

[Holly Anderson]

the idiot Atlantic column is the problem here.

[Spencer]

Yeah, that's fine. That's Nathaniel. I think it's.

[Jason]

By the way, whatever. It's. It's misidentifying what Talarico should be pouncing on here.

[Spencer]

Yes.

[Jason]

And it's not Arch. It's not arch, is my point. It is it, it is. It. It is a person who will be fired if Arch fails. Arching will be fired. Like if ours flops, that will be viewed as Sark's failure. If Arch succeeds, it'll be like, well, damn, where was this Sark?

[Spencer]

Yeah, exactly. About time he overcame his coaching.

[Jason]

Yeah. Also, if you know Talarico is a bottom up man of the people type campaign. Right. What better way to show that than shitting on the guy who was far richer than the silver spoon, Arch Manning.

[Spencer]

That's right. Don't. We don't go after the players. That's it. Right. Why would you.

[Jason]

On the labor. Don't. On the labor on Sark.

[Holly Anderson]

Can't believe that's a blind spot for David Frum's kid.

[Spencer]

Yeah. This is by the way, that guy saying that anyone is it anyone should critique a Nepo baby being the third generation Nepo baby who has a job at said pinhead northeastern corridor like Centrist magazine because he is a third generation Nepo baby. Breathtaking. Absolutely. And getting it wrong. Just hear the goalpost, buddy, and you put it right through the middle.

[Jason]

And like also, all right, if you say our team sucks because our quarterback isn't living up to expectations, okay, Texas fans might agree with you. But if you say our team's head coach is an idiot, I'm not calling Sark an idiot. I am a political consultant advising.

[Spencer]

That's right, that's right.

[Jason]

Politicians to call head coaches idiots. If you do that, all Texas fans, if they're mad, agree with you. All other fans say haha, they have an idiot head coach. I like this guy calling coaches idiots. Right, There we go. So yeah, I would just move the crosshairs. Here would be my main, my main critique of this specific note. And there are takeaways from the moving of that crosshairs one being. And maybe it's like, I don't know, maybe this is a distinction between maybe this person, this author, I don't know who this is, is like a pro sports mindset knower. We're like on the quarterback is more of a thing that it is in college. You can shit on the quarterback as a college fan, but nowhere near as much as you should on the head coach. Because here it's oh, you didn't develop this quarterback presented as if that means anything in, in the course of one to three years. That's your fault. Like if a quarterback sucks, it is the coach's fault. So shit on the coach. Always shit on the coach. Yeah.

[Spencer]

Also attack the strength. Attack the strength. That's that's, that's what you do. What's Sarkeesian strength here? Well, that's a quarterback guru who's got, you know, he'll win you about 10 games. Yeah, we've seen that at Texas before, haven't we? Isn't this just Matt Brown without Vince Young all over again?

[Jason]

Wow. Damn. Five points in the polls right there.

[Spencer]

Yeah, bang.

[Jason]

He said it. He calls it like he sees it.

[Spencer]

Is your taking on water, boss?

[Jason]

He might know a vegan or whatever it was I was told to be

[Spencer]

worried about, but other people might be happy with that, Jason. But we want a standard, okay? Just like we want a standard for the American people, all right? The promise that we were made, which is that we were going to get championship results, and thus far we just don't see them, do we?

[Jason]

We don't. We're. We, we. Listen, we have. We have made some progress, but nowhere near enough, you know, and maybe we frame it that way to try to like ease some people in to then drop the hammer. We need a change at the top, you know, that type of thing.

[Spencer]

That's it. Hey, hey. I think Arch Manning is a great player, okay? What's holding him back if he's so great? It's not him. Is not him.

[Jason]

Also, you got to keep in mind when you talk about the players, you are talking to people who know 25% ball and think they know 90% ball. And that is okay. That is not an insult. That is how people process the things that entertain them. So, like, you don't talk about Arch Manning sucks. You talk about he got a Manning and he can't win a title. That sentence connects everyone. That sounds, you know, like in your mind. That math does not add up. So lean on that math. You don't come in here about like, Arch. Arch hasn't improved his footwork enough. Nobody fucking knows what good footwork is supposed to look like. I don't. It like, I can see awful footwork, but between good and great, I don't know and I don't care. I can tell you though, five star quarterback, no titles. Fire him. That I get. That makes sense.

[Spencer]

So just say that I'm the plant in the audience going, that does seem strange, doesn't it?

[Jason]

Yeah, this guy knows what I'm talking about.

[Spencer]

This guy's making some points, isn't he? Speak on it.

[Jason]

He's skinny and he ate a vegetable, but he's making some points.

[Spencer]

Yeah, listen, I've heard he goes to church.

[Jason]

You know, I'm kind of into Liberation theology now, trying to liberate Sark from his paycheck.

[Spencer]

Listen, we have to astonish them with the. The violence of our love. And by our love, I mean our defensive line.

[Jason]

And we ain't doing it. No, Sark ain't doing it. Sarkin, whoever it is this guy's running against is basically Sark.

[Spencer]

I feel like we founded some sort of fundamentalist wing of the Texas Football Catholic Church that's called, like. Like, Opus Trey. Like, wow. Just because there'd be a bunch of guys named Trey because it's Texas.

[Jason]

I think it's Brisket Episcopalians. How about that? That's what we're doing.

[Spencer]

Briscopalians.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. That's what we're going to do.

[Spencer]

Yeah, Briscopalians. I'm going with that.

[Jason]

There. There you go. And also, like, all right, say Sark is doing good and doing good. Well, the election's before then, so it doesn't really matter. You know what I mean? So Texas is what, 100 on election day? Who gives a shit? He's going to fucking flop. Vote for me. And at this point, people are so confused because you made this entire election about whether Texas is going to win the title or not. And he hasn't as of election day. He still hasn't. If he does after that, oh, he was inspired by my victory. Name it and claim it.

[Spencer]

We also got to talk how you show up, too, right? Like, this is it. We got to talk about how you show up. Do you know who was the best politician of my lifetime in terms of how to show up as a fan of a team while in office? Somebody who did, I think, the best, most subtle job. It was Bill Clinton. And this is why Arkansas at the time, yeah, for the Hawks, which, by the way, already. Already, like, kind of a move, because credibility.

[Jason]

No one would choose that life, Right? Like, well, like. Like in football, no one would choose that life. And also in basketball, they were cool at the time.

[Spencer]

Two, he didn't look good in the gear. And that's important because that means you're really from the heart.

[Jason]

It really brought out his pinkness.

[Spencer]

It brings out his pinkness. It made his shoulders look small. Right? Like, because it was. It would fit, like, tighter on the shoulders and, like, looser.

[Band Member]

It made.

[Spencer]

It didn't fit. Right, Right. Like, none of the gear looked great on him. And that's how you knew it was out of love. That's how you knew he didn't look at a mirror before he put it on. He's just like, all right, here you go. Bill Clinton, when he showed up for Nolan Richardson's final four teams, whenever he showed up for Arkansas basketball, he always was, like, on camera, but in the background. Don't be a McConaughey. That's not what you want to be. Don't be a Ted Cruz. Don't say, hey, I'm at the game. Nope, TV is going to get you because you're a celebrity. You're a star, right? That's another thing we're doing. We're coaching you up. We're like, hey, listen, if you're part of the team and you're a star, they're going to. The camera is going to find you. We'll make sure the camera finds you. Just be there. Don't try to. Don't try to glory hog the moment, right? Don't try to, like, mob the scene. No, you're there, part of the team. They're going to find you anyway. That was. The best way to support your team is by putting yourself in the roster. Not as, like, I am the guy who is here and now I will attend your game beneficently.

[Jason]

I think another one that comes to mind for me is Obama would just, like, wear a White Sox hat. And that is not a team that anyone would latch onto. Like, at almost no point in history is it like. Like, here I am bandwagoning with the fucking White Sox. You know what I mean?

[Spencer]

So, like, the other. The other major White Sox fan, by the way, is the ultimate meek shall inherit the earth guy, the current Pope. Just to give you an idea of who roots for the White Sox again,

[Jason]

like, you're just sort of like, yeah, this is my team. Like, I know ain't gonna ever gonna do shit. It is what it is, man. Like, there's an authenticity to being a White Sox fan.

[Band Member]

They had the juice for like, what, like six months when Michael Jordan decided to play baseball, but he never even made it out of Birmingham, so it was like they didn' get to have him.

[Jason]

Frank Thomas was so cool.

[Band Member]

He was cool.

[Jason]

They still let him do commercials about how to fix your dick, but that was a long time ago that he played baseball. You know what I mean? Despite how much he's fixed his own dick, I assume it's great. I don't know. But, like, I don't. They probably don't let you do commercials like that unless your dick is working awesome. But, like, my point is that rooting for a bad team, there's a lot of credibility there. So this is for for our. In our new consultancy for Talarico, this is kind of a thing he has to overcome is like, how the hell. How the hell are you going to be like, the uprising candidate when, like, you root for Texas? So, like, again, that's even more reason to launch a crusade, jihad, whichever, both against. Against the power structure of the football program itself. Right.

[Spencer]

You're a populist and an up and an upstart within your own fan base.

[Jason]

Yeah. So we're going. We're going. We're going. We're going to take over the Longhorns, right, From within and then nationalize the Texas. Nationalize across the great nation of Texas.

[Spencer]

And if you are one of these guys, the thing that you do in order to. In order to cash in on that, when your team eventually does become good at what they do, is you do a Mom Donnie and you make sure that you are. You are. You get a picture of you in seats that suck. Yeah, Mom Donnie, they got a picture of Mom Donnie. Like, hey, I'm at the game. And the New York Post did this got you thing because they're a Murdoch paper and you know, they're like, mom Donnie attends game or ticket that cost hundreds of dollars and so did 20,000 other people.

[Jason]

Oh, 20,000, apparently, yeah.

[Spencer]

That's it.

[Band Member]

That's.

[Spencer]

That's what New York's paper was.

[Jason]

They're all assholes.

[Spencer]

Look at this guy affording a ticket to a 700 bucks. Pretty sure he paid for them. Which, the provenance of the ticket, by the way, does matter. Right. Like, if you see a politician who's on the court side, you're like, look next to him and you're like, ah, good. He's building a data center that runs on children.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Like, that's usually who got you those courtside tickets. Yeah. Make sure that you're pictured in, like, the bad seats, if possible, if you're not a security risk. Yeah.

[Jason]

If you're gonna be out here attending games, don't do the Ted Cruz. Don't go to games you might lose.

[Spencer]

Don't do it.

[Jason]

So if you're able to say, hey, the horns went 4, 0 with me in the house, never mind the four people aren't gonna give a. To look up the record which games you attended. 4. 040.

[Spencer]

Huh?

[Jason]

4 and. Oh, that's better than Ted Cruz. I know he's not running against Head Cruise, but everyone's running against Ted Cruz.

[Spencer]

Also between us, in a sort of truth flexible environment, if you were at a game and that team lost that you were rooting for. You weren't there. Don't acknowledge it.

[Jason]

That's the Trump method.

[Spencer]

Yeah, just don't.

[Jason]

That don't. Yeah, the big fuck will be out of there by the end of the first quarter.

[Spencer]

Speaking of people who. For anything, if you show up to the game, do not get introduced.

[Jason]

Or don't show up so late that you cause traffic headaches throughout whichever major city you're invading, definitely don't do that.

[Spencer]

Also, if you know you're gonna get booed, don't show up, dude.

[Jason]

Or make it cool. I'm wearing an Oklahoma hat just because. That's why they're booing. You know, I'm playing the part of the villain and it's. That's because I understand them so well. If he don't. Don't do that one. That was just. I was penciling that in. We're throwing that idea out.

[Spencer]

If the big, if the big wet boy shows up to this next game and puts on a Spurs hat. That's funny.

[Jason]

That's.

[Spencer]

That's funny.

[Jason]

I mean, I hate to say it but like there is a comedy, a natural comedy impulse to him and that would fit that description. So. But really wouldn't put it past him. But you don't want that. You don't want that. Like you just don't do anything he would do and that is something he would do. You're going to appeal to things besides comedy. Usually.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Also like you can't. Don't show up in Philly or New York. Just don't. Right. Like if, like don't get introduced in Philly or New York, it wouldn't matter. It's just going to feel good to boo you. Even if you, even if you were like a relatively well liked politician.

[Jason]

You're like Allen Iverson is holding up your hand. Right. Like you, you were, you were rapping along perfectly to freeway. None of it matters. They're still booing you.

[Spencer]

Yeah. I would also do this. Remember who you are. Because remember who you are and remember who you serve. We're going to do that as an important landmark, like a sort of tenet of what we do. And my basis for reminding a politician who wants to look like they are talking ball is this. I know that the entire idea behind a legislation or a legislative body is that you're at least sort of collegial and you can be playful about things. But when Ted Cruz wants to make a bet with you over a game, right. Like a. Hahaha, we'll send you some blue Bell. And you could send us some. Yeah, you can send us some. Some, you know, New York pastrami, whatever. Ahaha. Kirsten Gillibrand, your response as a New Yorker should be suck my dick. That should be what you say. Okay. If you're about it and you're about serving the people that you represent, you represent Knicks fans. And I want everybody to remember this, okay. That Knicks fans had a difficult quarter century, minimum. It's been bad.

[Jason]

It's been as it is valid to say that.

[Spencer]

Yeah. No, it's been like everyone. I understand.

[Jason]

Like there's a lot of big media market teams that their. Their troubles and their complaints. Fuck off. No one cares. The Knicks. Knicks have been through some things, man.

[Spencer]

Yeah. No, the legit claim, I think. Yeah. Because you were for a time the worst team in the NBA over like a 20 year span. You were really bad. And you weren't just bad. You were so bad that people will now cite the starting lineups of those bad teams like some kind of incantation.

[Holly Anderson]

Right?

[Spencer]

They'll be like, hey, man. Hey, man. You remember when Danilo played serious minutes for us? Yeah. That was a real time, man. Do you remember when Zach Randolph was here? Yeah, I remember when Zach Randolph was here. Oh, that was bad. Zach Randolph not sainted, beautiful Memphis.

[Jason]

He did nothing wrong.

[Spencer]

He didn't. No. He's never done anything wrong, Nick. Zach Randolph was an absolute fool.

[Jason]

That was a different guy.

[Spencer]

Yeah. An incompetent basketball player.

[Jason]

Twisted Zach Randolph.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Twisted Zach Randolph.

[Jason]

But one is strandal.

[Spencer]

Once he got rid of the symbiote.

[Jason]

That's a hungry symbiote.

[Holly Anderson]

Venom.

[Jason]

Zebo. Oh my God. The ribs he could put away, I think.

[Spencer]

I think once he got to Memphis, the symbiote just decided to move.

[Band Member]

I'm home.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Moved into the dumpster of a rib joint and let him alone. Right.

[Jason]

Memphis Venom would. Would so fucking happy.

[Spencer]

Zach Randolph was Memphis Venom.

[Jason]

Once Venom discovers Memphis. Yeah. He leaving.

[Spencer]

Yeah. We're like, listen, we haven't had, you know, the Avengers are like, we don't know what happened to him. He's been cool.

[Jason]

We can't find him. He's in city without any hotels.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Like there's no weird crimes or anything.

[Band Member]

He's good.

[Spencer]

He's good, man. Yeah, but like, like you have. The Knicks have a legitimate claim. But I am old and I remember what Knicks fans were like when they were threatening to be good or when they were outright good. And I will tell you this, they would not make a playful bet with a senator From Texas. Right. They would not.

[Jason]

And, and not. And definitely not like the evil one. Like, no, and I don't just mean one who is morally worse than the average senator. I mean the one who like brands as evil and is thought of as evil.

[Spencer]

No, it's like a piece of shit.

[Jason]

Like the number one cartoon villain. And I don't mean the worst guy. I mean the most cartoon villain in the entire thing.

[Spencer]

A piece of shit. Yeah. An actual bad person. You don't have to make a fun collegial bet with him. That's not what a New York Knicks fan would do. And if the Knicks win, by the way, they'll figure all of this out. You'll all figure this out in real time. And we'll go from oh, what lovely underdogs to oh my God, what original OG sewer dwelling chuds these people are.

[Jason]

Oh my God. Yeah, the videos outside of MSG will be like. All right, all right, that's enough, that's enough, that's enough. All right, all right, that's enough.

[Spencer]

Bing bong. It won't be funny anymore.

[Jason]

I've seen. That's stop.

[Spencer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jason]

You've made Wimby sad. And also you're doing this.

[Spencer]

You made Wimby said. Now Wimby's gonna have to go back to Shaolin. Now Wendy's gonna have to go back and run some mountains in China.

[Jason]

Studying more, Frank Herbert.

[Spencer]

Studying more. Yeah, exactly. How do I become Lisan Al Kaid?

[Jason]

How do I become even taller? I will become the worm.

[Spencer]

Yes, possibly. Just as his chat GPT searches are disastrous, they're like, can I become the worm Emperor?

[Jason]

But so, so lofty, so aspirational.

[Spencer]

Oh, aspirational, yeah. He's like, listen, I want to save humanity through basketball. Can I do that? Through basketball?

[Jason]

Can I synthesize these eight art forms and as well as scientific studies.

[Spencer]

Yeah, we forget that he's French. He's got to mix them. Like, like first of all, we forget that he's French and he's like, could I save the world through the magic of poetry, basketball, science fiction and kung fu?

[Jason]

Like, yeah, yeah. Like you read about his, his, his like health regimen. It's all like, wow, damn. How would a 20 year old ever even hear of this? You know what I mean? Like Shaolin thing is barely a joke.

[Spencer]

No, that's not a joke at all. Yeah, like he's, he's, he 100 went to Shaolin and traded with the monks and like ran the mountains and got up at 4:30 in the morning. And he did do. He did. Listen, dudes, dudes rock. He did do the thing where he ate their extremely restrictive vegetarian diet. And then in the afternoons, a van would pull up and get him, like, meat. Like, I think the spurs were like, hey, buddy, we can't have you lose any weight, so we'll just truck the brisket in.

[Holly Anderson]

There you go.

[Jason]

He needs it. His body needs it.

[Spencer]

Well, just. We'll just airdrop this for you, buddy.

[Jason]

Become accustomed to it. To breakfast tacos.

[Spencer]

He can't. Well, legit, though.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

You see, I assume you must bring the truck up and Victor Romeo does not talk like that, by the way. No, he's like, perfect English because he is the chosen one, right? He will speak. I bet his Chinese is perfect, too.

[Jason]

Of course it is.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

He didn't work hard on it, just like he. Because he didn't have time. He just did it efficiently, you know?

[Spencer]

Yeah, he smoked, he smokes, but only in China.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, because. And. And it doesn't affect him because he does it in a mindful way.

[Spencer]

Yeah, this. This. I smoke this carton mindfully. The Marlboro Reds are thoughtfully applied to the inside of my post game.

[Holly Anderson]

Post game.

[Jason]

Inter. The post game interview.

[Spencer]

I do. And I. This is also the. By the way, just as a side note, the whole Wembanyama thing has really made me realize how much I would absolutely fall for my exact kind of dictator. Because all I want Wembanyama to do

[Jason]

is if it was.

[Spencer]

If he would score, like 50 points a game. That's all I want. Like, they're like, hey, man, would you want a 4, 0 series? And I'm like, yeah, if it's just Wembanyama going supernova for four straight games, that's it. Because another thing that people don't remember is that I think people maybe who watch LeBron did that. LeBron is really good and he's really cool and he's really entertaining. But when he went. When he went off in, like, games five, six, and seven against the warriors, when it was like, do you want to play team ball? We could. Or I could hit some dingers.

[Jason]

I think basketball is a sport that is best suited to. One guy is destroying everyone else just because, like, that is what you're going to tune in for the next time. Can he do it even worse? Football's like. Football has versions of this. Like Miles Garrett on the damn Rams. And then Aaron Donald, Aaron Donald posts a workout video like, you know, I still got it right. And everyone's like, oh, my oh, no, I'm watching every single Rams game if this happens. Like, there's, like, Cardinals fans in the comments, like, skip the season.

[Spencer]

I mean, they're usually like that. But especially.

[Jason]

Yes, especially they're saying it earlier than you. But, like, if that. That's, like, if you give me two wimpies on one defensive line,

[Spencer]

this is. This is proof, by the way, that maturity is real. Because in college, Miles Garrett was obviously really good, and Aaron Donald was really, really good. And then in the pros, once they devote their entire time to football, this shows you how much nonsense you actually have to do in college football, because, you know, you do have to pretend to go to class, and you do have to do all these. These other things, and you only have so much time to devote to what you're doing. But when these two were freed from that and when they were 24 years old with a little bit of maturity, they each became gundams.

[Jason]

They. Yeah, like, the maturity thing is they. They decided to use their freedom to simply become better at football. They really didn't have to, but they did. And. And that's. That's. That's. That's Wimby. Like, seven, six, dude, quote fingers. 7 4. Who can move like that, partly can move like that because he's worked so hard, but also, like, make it to the League. 7:6. And able to walk, and you can play 10 years. But he simply decided to be a guy who would be extremely good if he was over a foot shorter. He didn't have to do all that, but he did for our entertainment.

[Spencer]

I know his brain's different because I always need a great star to have some sort of deep beef or some sort of deep grudge. And he seems and is so nice in so many ways, but he fucking hates Chet Holmgren.

[Jason]

Fuck this one specific helpless little guy. Little. Relatively a guy who's gonna beat him.

[Spencer]

A guy who's still going to have an amazing career.

[Jason]

78 games per year.

[Spencer]

Yes, but because of one. Because of one game that he played in international competition, all right, that didn't go Wemby's way. He has decided to just ruin this man's life, just destroy him. That's my kind of petty again.

[Jason]

It's got to be some sort of philosophical thing where, like, the monks told him, like, listen, it's so much easier to be nice to everyone if you just hate one person.

[Spencer]

He's like, you just have to focus it, right?

[Jason]

He's like, yes, channel all your hatred to that one person.

[Spencer]

That was probably all he Talked about in the mountains. He was probably with Master Yawen, right? Guy's name. He's like, yeah. Hey, Yawen, listen, I. You told me to, like, let go of all attachments. I got one thing. I can't let go. And he's like, so is it your love for your family? Is it your attachment to the beauty of the world? And he's like, no, it's this guy named Chet. I hate this guy named Chicken Chat. And they're like. They're like, okay, you get one. You get one.

[Holly Anderson]

Just.

[Jason]

You're. You're down to one at your age. That's amazing.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Jason]

Are you gonna hurt him? No, just a basketball.

[Spencer]

Master Yawin's probably. I, too, now hate this.

[Band Member]

Chat.

[Jason]

Chat.

[Spencer]

The monks of Shaolin shall now unite, burning to eliminate the threat of chat from the world.

[Jason]

Burning their Chet home in jerseys.

[Spencer]

Chad Holren's like, how did I get an entire order of kung fu monks determined to destroy. Destroy me.

[Jason]

So, like, the crowd at the spurs game, it's like, you got nuns, you got monks, you got. You got wimby assembling, like the. The most devoted members of. Of every. Of every. Of every faith, of every scientific. Blah, blah, blah. Like, how do you compete against this man? And then you have Knicks fans, bing bong.

[Spencer]

So here's what you need to do, Chet. You need to go train with the rival monks. I know this from years of watching kung fu movies. There's a rival school, and there is a rival. There is a rival monk. You need to go train with them, okay? Make the beef global. Make it worldwide. That's what you need to do. And eventually, the two of you are going to 1v1. Somewhere on top of a limestone karst,

[Jason]

northeast China jet, homegrown, you needed to join the League of Shadows or the hand, one of the two.

[Spencer]

It's time. You got this, boy.

[Jason]

That's pretty cool. It's pretty cool, I think.

[Spencer]

Yeah, exactly. We're gonna do this piece where it's like, hey, do you know Chet walked across a lake with his mind in the office.

[Jason]

Chet Holgren's a ninja now?

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Get so mad at Wimpy, he became a ninja.

[Spencer]

I'm gonna make a bet here. He's the first ninja named Chet.

[Jason]

That. That. That's like. That's like a 1998 movie title. Ninja Chet.

[Spencer]

Ninja. Ninja Chat, this is. I. We've got this entire epic storyline for next year all in court. All I need Chet Hol to do is to get on that Plane, brother. Get on that plane. Get a reporter with you and we'll chart your ascent from troubled Troubled Punished Chet to ascendant Kung fu monk Chet

[Jason]

Oklahoma City's only ninja.

[Spencer]

This is what See again, all we're doing here, we're consult. We're political consultants. And your politics chat. Right now you're down in the polls bad. But we can fix that. We can fix that for you.

[Jason]

The power of Ninjutsu.

[Spencer]

You want to do a little podcast business?

[Jason]

It's time.

[Spencer]

Podcast business. What's it?

[Band Member]

Business.

[Spencer]

Podcast business. It's a business. Podcast business. Go find your master and train under him in the mountains of China. And you learn some stuff and then you have a big fight.

[Jason]

Home Field apparel.com the the speed at which you got through the intro, you really saved it for, for that. Home Field apparel.com and I mean, I mean you put some extra, extra sauce on it. Home Field apparel.com the Texas Tech page. It feels appropriate today. Holy shit. These trucker hats greeting me ride a corduroy trucker hat. I'm gonna be honest. I have never in my life noticed whether I've seen a corduroy trucker hat. But this is the one right here at home field apparel.com you can get a Texas Tech Orange bowl shirt. I don't think you want one of those unless you're trying to work harder during this off season to avoid that tortilla toss shirt. There's a tortilla and a cowboy hat and and, and boots flying through the air. I know that shit's got to be flying off the shelves like a tortilla itself. This is a great collection. I've, I, I've only scrolled one page. This might be the first time I've ever looked at this particular page of home field apparel.com but, but it's excellent. Onto the second page now. Yep, nothing but hits here as well. I, I, I have no associations to Texas Tech, but there are several items that I am considering adding to the to the rotation [e-mail] that is right home Field Apparel.

[Spencer]

Who by the way going to be one of the sponsors of friend of the program Lucy Rodin's new stuff now that she is starting her own thing. Very proud of her home field apparel. They support cool people like us.

[Jason]

You know, I'm also looking at Texas page and Fairs fair. Home field apparel has a hook em horns shirt that the cactus itself is throwing up the hook em. Not gonna lie. Despite everything we've said about Texas, that is that is quality.

[Spencer]

Hey, Texas. Hey, Texas is quality. That's why it needs to demand better. We covered that.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And that's what home field is for. Fire Sark. And by home field.

[Spencer]

That's right. And by the way, right now, home field having a little 2026 college football sweepstakes. You can enter to win the ultimate college football weekend, which is flights, lodging, tickets for you and three friends to any game of your choice. Or you can choose 100k cash prize. Which would you do?

[Jason]

I mean, I probably. I think I would probably take the money and then waste a lot of it on buying a trip that I could have just had them fix for me. You know what I mean? And then it'd be like, well, damn, that was kind of a hole here.

[Band Member]

Now I would spend a little, a little bit of cash on two T shirts, one from each of the cities of the NBA Finals participants. The St. John's Beast of the East Ringer T. And then UTSA has this Ringer T2 with what I'm assuming is like their original logo is a 1980s ringer's tee. These two are fucking rad.

[Jason]

And then Home Build apparel.com could cut together these two homefieldapparel.com shirts into. Stitch them together into one as if you're the parent of a player on each team.

[Band Member]

Yeah, I'm Victor and Jalen's dad.

[Holly Anderson]

Yep.

[Jason]

You might not be able to tell,

[Band Member]

but if you say yeah, it's gonna be tough for you to figure that out.

[Spencer]

If you say you're Jalen's dad in the modern NBA, you're gonna be.

[Jason]

Yeah, there's. Yeah, yeah.

[Spencer]

5, 000 jalen.

[Band Member]

Oh, excuse me. Jalen Brunson. Yeah. As you can clearly see, one of

[Jason]

the light skin Jalens.

[Spencer]

Next.

[Jason]

Next on our patreon.com we we put stuff there patreon.com shutdown fullcast. We have put multiple several hour episodes up there so far this off season. It's not just after dark, it's also after season. Most recently we did a big one on the X Men. And Spencer, there is a thing I forgot to mention to you. Have I told you about the time when Colossus got the Phoenix Force?

[Band Member]

No.

[Jason]

So your dog got the Phoenix Force along with. This is Iron Man's fault. The dipshit shot it with a fucking gun and it split into five pieces. It goes into Cyclops, Emma Namor, my adopted daughter Ileana Rasputin, who's never done anything wrong and never will. And Colossus and Namor of course, is instantly like, now I can fight the Avengers by myself. No, you moron. He gets struck down. So, okay, now four of them have the Phoenix Force. Cyclops and Emma, of course, are very responsible. So they're like, we are gonna use it to turn Earth into a paradise, and then we'll be worshipped. You know, they're starting to. It's like a evil God emerging kind of thing. Yeah, Colossus, because he's a big, depressed sweetheart, he's like, well, I felt very sad for the whales, so I gave the whales legs. But what turned out to have happened was then the whales walked onto the beach and they died. So now I'm even sadder. They're like, dumbass, this is not what you're supposed to be. You're supposed to have the grandest ambitions to take over the universe, not accidentally overbearingly being too nice to the whales. Ilyana, because she's perfect and adorable, is like, I will kill Spider Man. That's the right mindset. But anyway, I just wanted to.

[Spencer]

Attainable goals.

[Jason]

Right?

[Spencer]

Measurable.

[Jason]

Almost got it, too. If not for her big sweetheart brother who's depressed about whales anyway, I forgot to get that into our Patreon episode. Anyway, yeah, there's a lot more of that on our Patreon episode, as well as lots of other stuff about boring things that aren't comic books, like, you know, college football and whatever. Next.

[Spencer]

Channel 6. That's right, Channel 6. That's the newsletter that Holly and I write two things a week for the low price of $10 a month. I encourage you to subscribe because you're going to get, among other things, my thoughts on. I am attempting to fix the college football calendar, and you're going to get that this week. And I have some bold proposals that. That, of course, are perfect. And because they're perfect, that's why I want you to pay for them, because you're going to read them and go, man, my life just got better. I read that. That is Channel Dash six Ghost IO, and you are going to get that and our free off season newsletter, which just requires your email address. You can get that, too. You get that, too. Just sign up for it and we'll send you everything that we've been reading, thinking about, looking at, you know, all the things you get to do when you don't have to spend anywhere else.

[Jason]

All the senses, man.

[Holly Anderson]

All.

[Spencer]

All the senses. Hey, we recommend snacks. That's part of the deal. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

When you got smells.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. I think we have specifically recommended particular candles in trl. So that has happened as well. So Channel Dash six Ghost IO. That is Channel six, our superb newsletter where in season you are going to get the top whatever, which is where I rank the teams that I want to rank every single week based on what they did. Does it mean like, you know, like your standard, I still think they're the best. Nope.

[Band Member]

Nope.

[Spencer]

It's just whatever you did that week, it's all I want to talk about. You'll get that in your inboxes after every single college football weekend. So again, Channel 6 ghost IO channel 6 ghost IO subscribe.

[Jason]

Basically, the rankings. Channel 6, you get the rankings that are basically. If we didn't have to pretend we noticed Ohio State winning 42 to 7 against nobody for like the sixth game.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Or no one cares what Ohio State did. It doesn't matter.

[Spencer]

Or yeah. We'll catch you in November, man.

[Jason]

Yeah, we'll notice when you play, when you start to play football games. Yeah.

[Spencer]

When you play real football games will bump you on up to number one and be like, holy shit, you're really good.

[Jason]

Right, right, right. Once you're finally activate. Once you're no longer playing your twos and threes, so to speak.

[Spencer]

Yeah. To be clear, I will be properly shocked and odd.

[Jason]

Oh, damn.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Just don't talk about this. Don't ask me to mark out for a glorified scrimmage.

[Jason]

You're going to play your 17 per dues.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Play yourself and then you're going to be number one.

[Spencer]

Yeah. The fair and balanced thing. Watch Alabama play a thousand Kentuckies or whatever. I don't know. Wouldn't be Kentucky.

[Jason]

Next. Another newsletter that also discusses college football and does kind of does the same thing with Ohio State, but in a more measured tone would be the Intel Saturday newsletter at the Athletic that I write. It's. It's free. It goes out typically two times per week. Three times during the season. I've done one a week. This week and last. I'm on vacation, but that is my dedication to you. When I'm on vacation, I will still. I will not abandon you. I will not leave you to wonder how many Texas Tech news items are going on at once. There are so many. Lubbock is the center of the universe as far as I can tell. That and playoff expansion. Like, man, today I wrote about like, yes. Expanding the playoff to 2024 teams. Like, yes. That will lower the ceiling dramatically for Michigan, Ohio State in particular. And that would suck. That's one of many Reasons that We Should not do that until Saturday is the name of the newsletter. Over 800,000 people subscribe to it. Kind of weird if you're not in that number. But that's up to you, I guess.

[Band Member]

Next you should listen to my podcast, Hand in the Dirt. She listened to my band, Killer Ants with a Z or a Z. You should come to our show this Friday at monstercade with Janice. 414 and 30 is dead. We are probably going on last, but it's on Friday. If you can't make it to that in Winston Salem. The Winston Salem Pride Festival is next weekend. We'll be playing right after the opening ceremonies at one o'. Clock. I think our stage is still going to be on Trade Street. We usually. We didn't play last year, but we've played like two or three years before this and that's where we were. So I think that's where we'll be again. That's on June 13th. And then our album release show is June 26th. A Fair Witness. Fancy drinks. On that note, we are going to be putting this album on cd. Probably vinyl as well. I don't know that we are going to print enough of them to justify like putting up a website or anything like that. So just if you do happen to like want a copy of the cd. Yeah, if you want to copy the vinyl, I'll let you know because that's gonna get pressed later. But the CD's coming first. If you want to copy the CD, just like hit me up on Blue Sky. I guess. I don't know if anyone can get in my DMs there. But just like at me on Blue Sky. I don't. Not a lot of people. I don't miss most things so I should be able to see it. And then I can like add you and get in your DMs and we can discuss how to send that to you.

[Jason]

This is cool band guy stuff. Server.

[Holly Anderson]

This is.

[Jason]

They're coming to you.

[Spencer]

I love it. Yeah.

[Jason]

To buy stuff out of your trunk. I like.

[Band Member]

Yeah. I'm not putting up a website for this cd. If you want to listen.

[Jason]

If like me.

[Band Member]

Yeah, like you got to get the CD from me. If you really want to listen to it, it will be made easily available. You can listen to it for free on YouTube and I'll come meet you

[Jason]

at the gas station.

[Band Member]

Yeah. And then you get this God damn cd. It's gonna be in a jewel case, which was a conscious decision by me because you know they do the digipacks and stuff the fold out and it look. It looks more like a vinyl record as the CD and all that stuff that I wanted a jewel case. I wanted something that people were going to crack within the first two days of getting the cd and it would never look the same again. So. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, check. Check us out. And yeah, if you want a copy of the album, which will be out soon on CD, let me know. It'll be probably another two or three weeks before I have the CDs in hand. I'm hoping to have them by the show, but you know how that goes. We'll see. You know, it'll be up on streaming by then.

[Jason]

I. Within the past year or so, I have re. Begun investing in CDs. So I approve this move like it's a. It's the way of the fucking future, man. It's not a.

[Band Member]

It's not a bad thing right now either because, like, CDs are so devalued because everyone's like, oh, CDs are so out. Like, you can go to fucking Barnes and Noble and get the greatest albums that you've loved for your entire Life for like, $5 a piece. Sometimes it's so stupid.

[Jason]

And then, like, you know, on the day when the. The whole streaming everything is AI or whatever. Doesn't bother me. I got it all right here. Got it all right here. On. Not wax. Even better plastic.

[Band Member]

I know. Like, so it's funny that you say this, because I have. Sorry, you got me on a thing here. I have been like. Like, actually going through my vinyl collection and be like, do I have this on cd? And if I don't, I've been actively finding the cd. I want it on both versions because.

[Spencer]

Careful.

[Holly Anderson]

Yeah.

[Band Member]

You just never know.

[Jason]

Yeah. Can't be too careful nowadays anymore. And, like, you go to the use. I realize we're on a real tangent here, but, like, you go to the UCD store, dude, it looks exactly like it did 25 years ago. It's unreal. It's like nothing but zoomers who are like, you're telling me I can buy 10 Fleetwood Mac albums for $2 each?

[Band Member]

Yeah, yeah, I did. I got the. I got the only good Kings of Leon albums in a box set at our UCD store for like, $7. All three of them. It was rad. And I don't even have to act like the rest of them exist.

[Jason]

Dude, ours was in the back room. They just have, like, boxes of boxes of, like, Elton John's old records when he moved out it moved out. Moved out of Atlanta. That's obviously. He's just like, here, take these, darling.

[Band Member]

Yeah, he went to. There's a documentary about Tower records and he would just go. Every week he would just. He had like an appointment to go to Tower records to just buy all the albums that came out so he could hear them like he has. He's my dream, like, my dream is to live like Elton John and just go to a record store once a week and get and kiss by everything that's new just to see what it's all about.

[Spencer]

I have some news about what it requires credit wise to look like Elton John.

[Band Member]

I'll be fine, darling.

[Jason]

Not if that is your only splurge, surely. I'm a live broke, but I'm a buy music like Elton John. John. Yeah. I won't do it on CD, mind you.

[Band Member]

Yes. On CD.

[Jason]

Elton John is a CDs guy. I can 100%. Yes.

[Band Member]

He made the switch. That's actually in the documentary too. They talk about that. They're like, yeah. When CDs came out, he made the switch. He stopped buying records and then he had to rebuy his whole vinyl collection on cd.

[Jason]

Never went back.

[Band Member]

Nope.

[Jason]

It's the perfect art form.

[Band Member]

And Phantom island show. Listen to that too, Ryan, Stephen Godfrey do that.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Produced by one microwave server free episode every week.

[Band Member]

And then when you got paid for

[Spencer]

usually breaking and I think it's a good way to conclude the episode. My son is on a flight to South America with no screens, I've been informed. No screens.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Holly Anderson]

Wow.

[Band Member]

So this will probably be the longest time in many years that he has gone without screens.

[Spencer]

Yeah. This is functionally jail with snacks for him.

[Jason]

Yeah. I think this is. He's learning many of the same lessons that wimby learned during his time with the monks. Your son is going to become. Become a ninja.

[Spencer]

He's going to become so strong

[Jason]

he's gonna return and say. And start calling you father.

[Spencer]

Yeah, father. My master, Juan Alpaca, who's actually an alpaca, taught me the ways of Incan martial arts. And now we must fight. And then he'll just beat my ass.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah.

[Band Member]

Just does that Liu Kang bicycle kick thing.

[Spencer]

Yeah. And then puts a very warm sweater on me. Right.

[Jason]

That he knitted.

[Spencer]

This is so soft. It's healing my broken bones already.

[Jason]

It's worth it, man. Let's tell you what. One flight without screens, it'll get you there.

[Band Member]

Rest now, papa.