THE MONSTER ENERGY WORLD CUP EPISODE

Summary

Shutdown Fullcast – "The Monster Energy World Cup Episode" (July 8, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of the Shutdown Fullcast is a classic: irreverent, meandering, and focused less on the stated topic of the World Cup than on whatever odd avenue captures the panel’s collective attention. Nominally, it’s about the ongoing 2026 FIFA World Cup and its intersection with college football—but for long stretches, the crew riff on the (fictional) Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce wedding, the hypothetical smell of the sun, and the branding absurdity of the "Monster Energy Big 12." The panel includes Spencer Hall, Ryan (Nanni), Jason Kirk, Andy, and periodic interjections from "the Channel 6 universe." The episode features their signature blend of snark, pop culture asides, non sequiturs, and genuine moments of sports appreciation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce Wedding Fantasia ([00:31]–[17:30])

• Absurd Speculation: The hosts gleefully create (and exaggerate) their own version of the celebrity wedding—imagining 20-minute vows ("It’s long enough to get through half of Dopesmoker"), musical numbers, and panic-stricken improvisation by Kelce, as well as a best-man-toast-at-your-own-wedding vibe.
  • "My hope is that she went first…there was supposedly singing involved…I hope he white knuckle panicked and just filibustered up there." – Spencer Hall ([03:19])
• Guest List Game: A recurring joke is guessing which side (Swift or Kelce) invited various celebrities—from Adam Scott and Paul Rudd, to Kesha, to Ice Spice, to a rotating cast of obscure powerbrokers and comic book actors. (Highlights include fantasy invites like Dean Blandino, Keenan and Kel, and original American Gladiators.)
• Best Quotes/Exchanges:
  • "This motherfucker so bland, I call him Dean Blandino." – Andy ([07:19])
  • "It’s either me and Keenan and Kel or I ain’t coming." – Andy ([10:20])
• Wedding Officiant Bit: Adam Sandler officiating fills the hosts with chaotic joy:
  • "[When I] heard Adam Sandler officiated this event, it just filled me with warmth that I can’t really explain." – Jason Kirk ([13:02])
  • "It does feel like a TGIF crossover event more than a wedding." – Spencer Hall ([13:30])
• Pop-Culture Runaway: These riffs smoothly blend into comic books, the idea of assembling a Marvel "wedding guest Avengers," and meta-commentary on wedding RSVPs ("It would have felt amazing to RSVP no to this wedding").

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2. The Sun: Does It Smell and Can You Wash Your Hair With It? ([18:28]–[29:31])

• Spencer’s Big Science Question: After promising to table it for weeks, Spencer asks: "Does the sun have a smell?" He and the crew reason out (with shades of stoned dorm-room logic) whether plasma at extreme temperatures can have a scent and what space itself smells like.
  • "Does the sun have a smell?" – Spencer Hall ([18:42])
• Story Time/Book Recs: Ryan references Mary Roach’s Packing for Mars, relaying that astronauts report the scent of "grilled steak, heated metal, or (according to Don Pettit) 'pleasant, sweet-smelling welding fumes'." ([20:31]–[24:13])
• Philosophical Wonder: The group debates whether you could "Febreze the sun" with enough material and what consequences this would have ("Space whales burning forever" – Andy, [23:29]), spiraling into a Dr. Octopus riff about sun-scented shampoo.
• Quotes:
  • "Imagine if you could wash your hair with the smell of the sun. Are you f-ing kidding me?" – Spencer Hall ([26:33])
  • "This is the most Dr. Octopus coded shit you’ve ever done. Diabolical sun in my hair." – Ryan ([26:42])

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3. College Football Conference Branding Absurdity ([45:53]–[53:09])

• Monster Energy Big 12: The crew breaks down the news that the Big 12 will be rebranded for the season as "Monster Energy Big 12 Football," gleefully riffing on how announcers will have to say it (hoping for Sean McDonough to do so), and remembering the taste of early-’10s Big 12 chaos.
  • "Monster Energy Big 12 Football is a thing that appeared…like actual paperwork involved." – Andy ([47:22])
• Comparative Business Brain:
  • The Big Ten’s "destroy all—everything, virtue all mine," versus the Big 12’s "chaotic marketing gremlin" mindset.
  • "The SEC is the laziest major league when it comes to this." – Ryan ([51:44])
• Best Quotes:
  • "This feels like it would have been super apt for the 2010s Big 12. That was football on Monster Energy. Now they just do normal football…" – Andy ([48:46])
  • "I have consumed a Monster at 6pm—oh no, that has happened as well." – Ryan ([49:14])

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4. World Cup Rants, Joys, and Metaphors ([34:34]–[74:13])

A. Why the 2026 World Cup Is "the Greatest Event Ever" ([53:52]–[57:14])

• Effusive Praise: Ryan and crew state, repeatedly and with minimal irony, that this World Cup has the highest banger-to-dud ratio of any sporting event they’ve ever watched.
  • "This is the greatest sports thing I’ve ever watched." – Ryan ([53:53])
• Comparison to CFB Postseason: The excitement of the World Cup’s "string of bangers" is contrasted with the more hit-and-miss quality of the college football bowl season.

B. American Failure and Goalie Philosophy ([50:41]–[51:50])

• Disappointed by the U.S. men’s performance ("Our goalie cannot be a Harvard guy…" – Ryan ([50:41]))
• "You have to be cracked. You have to be kind of not…well, because you need that, like, relentless self-assurance that also might be making you a little bit insane." – Jason ([51:28])

C. Cape Verde: The Iowa/Oklahoma of International Soccer ([63:08]–[64:31])

• The analogy of Cape Verde’s play style to Iowa or Oklahoma football: "Score looks like Iowa. The play looks like Monster Energy Big 12 football—high effort, no scoring." – Andy ([63:16])
• Their goalie, Vozinha, receives special praise as the "man of the tournament"—a late-bloomer dad-hero.

D. Petty Joys: International Power Failures ([57:14]–[60:10])

• Celebrating the collapse of traditional powers: Portugal (and Cristiano Ronaldo) bombing out, Italy not qualifying, and the poetic justice of the U.S. making it further than Italy.
  • "It's really true that we got further than Italy in the World Cup. That should be noted." – Ryan ([57:19])

E. The Ecosystem of Sports Fandom (and Social Media) ([60:10]–[62:29])

• Reflections on how BlueSky, the Twitter-alternative, is becoming a genuine sports site.
  • Notable message board style exchange: "'I think most of us wanted Portugal to win.' …'Who the fuck is we?' ….'Where did I say we?' " – recounted by Jason ([61:19])

F. Bandwagon Teams and Player Profiles ([68:04]–[72:50])

• Panelists share their new allegiances: Jason with Cape Verde, Ryan with likely Norway (in part for Erling Haaland’s "big Shrek energy" and wholesome weirdness), Andy with Morocco.
• Haaland’s "expected goals" stats and his singular style are analyzed.
  • "He scores the most direct, no-frills, 100% diesel-powered goals you’ve ever seen in your life." – Ryan ([69:43])

G. The "It’s Coming Home" Soliloquy ([72:32]–[74:13])

• England’s perennial World Cup meme, "It’s Coming Home," is examined with post-irony fatigue and cautious hope.
  • "We have now passed the irony wall that the English have put up to defend themselves from the idea of hope." – Ryan ([73:36])
  • "That’s also not what Rubicon means." – Jason ([73:38])

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5. Podcast Business & Housekeeping ([39:03]–[41:21], [65:19]–[67:54])

• Celebrating Channel 6’s birthday with site refreshes, new graphics, gift subscriptions, and tips.
• Patreon promo: "You don’t learn a damn thing on this show...On our Patreon, you will learn stuff that is a bit more concrete." – Andy ([40:13])
• Merch charity update: $1,400 donated to the Transgender Research Center of New Mexico; new PTKU beach towel; next quarter, proceeds benefit Alianza Trans Latinx of Orange County, CA. ([65:19]–[67:54])

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Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• "This motherfucker so bland, I call him Dean Blandino." – Andy ([07:19])
• "It does feel like a TGIF crossover event more than a wedding." – Spencer Hall ([13:30])
• "Can we Febreze the sun? …Could we make the sun smell like brisket if we really wanted to?" – Spencer Hall ([22:59])
• "Imagine if you could wash your hair with the smell of the sun." – Spencer Hall ([26:33])
• "[Monster Energy Big 12]…It was uttered by a commissioner on a stage, press release, like actual paperwork involved." – Andy ([47:22])
• "This is the greatest sports thing I’ve ever watched." – Ryan ([53:53])
• "Score looks like Iowa. The play looks like Monster Energy Big 12 football—high effort, no scoring." – Andy ([63:16])
• "[Erling Haaland] scores the most direct, no-frills, 100% diesel-powered goals you’ve ever seen in your life." – Ryan ([69:43])
• "We have now passed the irony wall that the English have put up to defend themselves from the idea of hope." – Ryan ([73:36])

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Contextual Timeline

00:00–17:30 — Wedding riff extravaganza: vows, guest lists, Adam Sandler officiant joke spiral
17:30–29:31 — Interlude: science musings—"Does the sun have a smell?" & Dr. Octopus bit
34:34–45:52 — Several detours: RSVPing to the wedding, podcast business, Home Field Apparel meta
45:53–53:09 — Branding insanity: Monster Energy Big 12 and conference personalities
53:10–74:13 — World Cup Analysis: praise, analogies, bandwagons, social media, charity updates, and "It’s Coming Home"

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Final Takeaways

• This episode is an affectionate mess, blending sports, pop culture parody, and fried-brain philosophy.
• The Monster Energy World Cup Episode is less focused on breaking down play-by-play and more about celebrating the event’s cultural, absurd, and communal moments.
• As always, the Shutdown Fullcast is both about sports and, far more, about everything weird orbiting in their gravitational pull.

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For listeners who missed it: Imagine a podcast where coverage of the world’s biggest soccer tournament is frequently derailed by wedding RSVP power moves, sun-scented shampoo schemes, and impassioned arguments about which college football program resembles the Cape Verde national team. If that sounds like your brand of chaos, this episode delivers, with a Monster Energy shot of strange goodwill.

Transcript

[Spencer Hall]

Spencer, I'm gonna give you an option of which interruption you want again this week.

[Ryan]

Okay, I can accept this.

[Spencer Hall]

Do you want your options now or do you want them later?

[Ryan]

I will accept them now.

[Spencer Hall]

Would you rather I interrupt you by asking you about the sun? Still an option. Or about the Declaration of Independence?

[Jason]

I mean, the sun in the sky.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, that one.

[Ryan]

I would rather you ask me about the sun.

[Jason]

You'd rather.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Ryan]

But I would also really start the show.

[Spencer Hall]

And I'll get there.

[Jason]

Don't worry.

[Ryan]

I would really like to discuss something which is that amid everything happening in the world, and for some reason in

[Jason]

July, there's a lot of the sun.

[Ryan]

Of the sun.

[Jason]

And here on the shutdown full cast, we're always asking about the sun.

[Ryan]

That's right. What I. And you know who else should be asking about the sun? That's right. If you don't have God in your life, I need you to open your heart and expose it to the Lord. I wanted to discuss this. That this past week, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got married and. Singer.

[Jason]

Girl.

[Andy]

No. Who's this guy?

[Ryan]

Travis Kelce, Cincinnati Bearcats legend.

[Jason]

Where it's funny to do the famous athlete's wife thing. Like, this is the reverse of the Simone Biles husband thing.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Jason]

Oh, Travis Kelsey got married.

[Spencer Hall]

Actor.

[Ryan]

Yes. Actor. Bon vivant.

[Jason]

The guy from the Manning cast, but not as good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Travis Kelsey and Travis Kelsey at the.

[Jason]

Sorry. Wait. Let's wait. Let's frame it up like this. Cincinnati Bearcats legend Travis Kelsey.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Bearcats legend Travis Kelce got married to Taylor Swift. And when they were going through their vows. Ryan, how long did the vows take combined?

[Spencer Hall]

Reportedly, 20 minutes.

[Jason]

Each.

[Spencer Hall]

Each. And that's just an estimate. So that feels like it could be slightly longer than that. I looked it up, and if you were to sit down and watch the Empire strikes back, after 40 minutes, we have left Hoth. We have done all the Hoth things we're going to do. We've stuffed Luke's body into a dead animal. We've had a wampa kidnap us. We've fled the base. All the ice. Hoth is done. You could do all of Hoth in the time it took these two.

[Jason]

Okay, just for a second, imagine Tom Hiddleston jumping out of a sliced up Star wars animal to object in the middle of this wedding.

[Andy]

You know, 20 minutes ago, Egypt was up to nothing.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I want you to know something. Like, I was like, how long is this? And I was like, it's long enough that you get over half of dope smoker. Like, if I by sleep, there's 17 minutes of dope smoker left. If you get through the vows.

[Jason]

Ryan, I'm really glad that you brought up the movies, because when I heard 20 minutes, first of all, I thought 20 minutes combined, which is even worse. But I stand by my original explanation for this, which was immediate thought. Oh, he just recited 10 minutes of Super Troopers.

[Spencer Hall]

So my hope is that she went first. She did 20 minutes. There was supposedly singing involved. I'm sure it was, like, very crafted, very thought out. And I hope he white knuckle panicked and was like, fuck, I did not know we were going to do fast. And I hope he filibustered up there for 20 minutes and just talked about all the good. Like, was just bringing up, like, middle school spring breaks and things just to talk about great moments, like doing, like.

[Jason]

He's doing this. Like a best man toast at his own wedding.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Like. Like, in his. In his mind, he's normal groom who's like, you're. You're as pretty as a flower.

[Spencer Hall]

Huh?

[Andy]

Huh? Pretty good. But then he realizes he has to attempt to match her energy stretch. Just naming every flower he's heard of.

[Spencer Hall]

Like, all right, I think I know a lot of Motown Phillies, so I'm gonna sing.

[Jason]

And then everybody liked it. So he's like, I should just do Motown Philly again.

[Spencer Hall]

Again.

[Jason]

Yeah, it just starts it over.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I. Do you think he recited the lyrics to Still Dre?

[Andy]

I think part.

[Ryan]

I think I think he probably did.

[Andy]

When I look at you, I think about my favorite Taylor Swift song,

[Jason]

which is Bejeweled.

[Ryan]

Which is what, Travis, what is it?

[Andy]

Better pull a good one. A really good one.

[Spencer Hall]

The what about my dick? That's.

[Ryan]

Am I right? Am I right? Doing crowd work during the valve. Brian Kelly's like, yes.

[Spencer Hall]

Anybody here from California? Let me see some hands.

[Andy]

Let's go, Nicks.

[Ryan]

Jason's just backstage in his ear in a little thing, feeding him lines.

[Andy]

Like, yeah, he's right next to him.

[Ryan]

He was the best man.

[Andy]

He's whispering stuff straight to him.

[Ryan]

No, I bet he was doing a mic to the side.

[Spencer Hall]

He was doing, like, the Oscars host thing, where he was like, stephen A. Smith is here. Great pause.

[Jason]

That's. That would be the purpose of having all those guests. Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Also, I'm not making up. Stephen A. Smith was reportedly a guest at this wedding.

[Jason]

The.

[Ryan]

The more reported guests I hear from it, the better it gets to me. Like a guy who is the CEO of a prison camp Company was there. Steven Dimitri, the CEO of Amentum Services, which, when I think of friends, family and close friend Dean Blandino as my only list. Right. That's where I'm like, hey, it ain't a party unless I get Steven J. Demetriu, executive.

[Jason]

That Dean Blandino.

[Spencer Hall]

That Dean Blandino.

[Jason]

There's not another one. Now.

[Spencer Hall]

There probably is. And if you are another Dean Blandino, like, solidarity.

[Jason]

This is a Cincinnati Dean Blandino.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes. Yes.

[Jason]

Varietal.

[Spencer Hall]

This is. This is the Dean Blandino we all know and love.

[Ryan]

No, I'm sorry, this is actually incorrect. It was. It was an Ohio State GOP representative, Steve Demetriou. Steve Demetri wasn't. So we didn't get the.

[Jason]

No, that's. That's his son. Dude.

[Ryan]

It's his son.

[Jason]

That's that guy's son. Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Have we or have we not confirmed that?

[Andy]

Butch Jones, but he's cool.

[Jason]

Oh, I forgot, man. We completely lost the threat in this. In all the World cup. Like, I forgot. I think we promised this at some

[Spencer Hall]

point that we try to find out if Butch was there.

[Jason]

Damn it.

[Andy]

Yeah, I. I led the newsletter today with this or ended it one of them with that question. So hopefully more information trickling into the inbox.

[Jason]

Patriots sound off in the comments.

[Andy]

I searched Instagram for Dean Blandino. Can confirm there are multiples.

[Ryan]

Big world, multiple Dean Blandinos. The Blandino verse, it sounds like what

[Spencer Hall]

Ghostface would call a white dude he doesn't like very much.

[Andy]

It's Dean Blandino.

[Ryan]

This Blandino face. It's pinch gringo. It's Dean Blandino.

[Andy]

This motherfucker so bland. I call him Dean Blandino.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I'm gonna do this real quick. I'm gonna go through and I'll be like, hey, listen, this is pretty. This is pretty transparent, but I'm just gonna name a name, and you tell me whether it's Travis or Taylor who invited. Okay. Okay.

[Jason]

Wait, how do we know?

[Ryan]

No, we don't know.

[Spencer Hall]

We will know. We will know.

[Ryan]

I'm gonna tell you for number one.

[Andy]

It's gonna be tough to find one that's on the. On the line.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Number one is clear with a bullet. Adam Scott and Paul Rudd.

[Jason]

Is it clear?

[Andy]

Two best actors I've ever seen.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes, that is. That is clear to me because of Paul Rudd being a chief super fan. All right.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Andrew Scott and Zadie Smith.

[Jason]

Okay. Honestly, that's just adding the best looking people you can find to your wedding. Good for them.

[Ryan]

That's right. That's Right. Lena Dunham. Surprise. Travis invited her.

[Jason]

Whichever one of them invited her, I hate them now.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I found one that might be on the line. Are you ready?

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Ke.

[Jason]

Sorry. I'm imagining Lena Dunham talking to Travis Kelsey, and I'm gonna need a minute. So what do you do? Actually, never mind. This is good. I want Lena Dunham and Travis Kelsey to conversate.

[Ryan]

She. She would overthink it. Be like, he's fascinating. He would be like, I got a fart.

[Jason]

Like, is this your. Is this your third grade teacher that you told me about?

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. But this. This is the one that's on the line for me. Kesha.

[Jason]

Oh, dang that.

[Andy]

Yeah, I. I see the midpoint there. Like, man, this chick has got songs about partying.

[Ryan]

Yeah, this one to me is pretty clear. Ashanti and Nelly.

[Jason]

Oh, that's Travis for sure. That's not Taylor.

[Spencer Hall]

I hope one was. I hope one was Taylor and one was Travis. But which one? That's right.

[Andy]

Ashanti feels like Travis is like, yo, I invited my dream girl. And it's like, to which event, Travis.

[Ryan]

I hope.

[Spencer Hall]

I hope. Travis just opened up, like, his old leather bound CD case that he used to keep it. He was like, ashanti's coming.

[Jason]

Because, like, her guest list was real big. And once he gets through his team, like, that's like 50 people.

[Andy]

The wedding planner sits.

[Spencer Hall]

DMX has to be Travis. I'm terrible news, Travis.

[Jason]

Travis pulls the CD notebook out from under the seat of the car. He's like.

[Andy]

Travis hands over his old ipod. Get them all if you can.

[Spencer Hall]

Hooba and Stank want them both.

[Andy]

Yo, Olive Dipset said yes.

[Ryan]

You got to invite Chester Bennington. He's awesome.

[Jason]

In full recognition that we keep talking about a grown man like, he's a rescue cat. Like, what a Nickelodeon Super Toy Run moment this must have been for him to be like, I can have a beetle at my wedding.

[Spencer Hall]

I bet he. I bet he wanted to invite Keenan and Kel, and I bet she should have. I bet she was like, we can invite Keenan. And he was like, it's either both or nothing.

[Andy]

It's either. It's either the three of us or none of us. It's either me and Keenan and Kel or I ain't coming. Y' all serving good burgers at the reception.

[Spencer Hall]

That's right.

[Jason]

If either one of them's Episcopal, there's a pretty funny out there.

[Ryan]

I have another salvo, clearly from one side. The chain smokers,

[Andy]

they're playing.

[Jason]

No, this is. This is precaution.

[Andy]

They're playing. Travis is crying.

[Jason]

This is prophylactic. You have to invite the chain smokers so that they will not perform. Yeah, like if you give them an assigned table, that. That seems like the best. What do you want the best way to keep them from.

[Spencer Hall]

What do you want us to do? Oh, you watch the kids. You're gonna be in the kids room watching everything.

[Jason]

Yeah, who got. Who got, like, relegated to handing out programs?

[Spencer Hall]

Ice Spice.

[Ryan]

Mm, yeah, I have another. I have another one that to me is. Is potentially confusing. Dakota Johnson.

[Jason]

Oh, that's dangerous. Yo.

[Andy]

She was sick in Spider Man.

[Spencer Hall]

Gotta get Madame Web.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, we have Spider Man.

[Spencer Hall]

Hun, hun, hun. So sick.

[Ryan]

She was in the. She was in that sick ass movie about the perverted chiropractor. This a really cool house.

[Spencer Hall]

I want our wedding to be about connection and our. And her web connects us all. Hun. We can't. We gotta have.

[Jason]

Oh, my God. He sees Dakota Johnson fixates and that's why the vows go 20 minutes. It wasn't planned for the vows to go 20 minutes, but he saw Dakota Johnson and just was like, I loved Morbius.

[Spencer Hall]

She was like, you could either have.

[Jason]

She was going to say, it's Madame Morbius.

[Spencer Hall]

You can either have Madame Web or Michael Morbius, but you can't have both. You must pick.

[Ryan]

I. I have a question. Who. Who did Travis want to invite that she put the foot down on the original American Gladiators. It's a good call. I was gonna say pinky.

[Spencer Hall]

I know. I do know one guest who wasn't there who was invited but couldn't go and didn't go. Quarterback Zach Coloros, who plays for. For the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. And, and I think was teammates at Cincinnati.

[Jason]

Yeah, I remember him with them.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. So he. He talked about how he was invited, but he couldn't go because he had Argo shit or he had blue Bomber shit. He used to play, man.

[Jason]

It's just Winnipeg.

[Andy]

The other was Robert Pattinson because he's busy filming Batman 2, which feels like, man, if you're Bruce Wayne, you're really torn between being Batman and being at the most exorbitant event of the century.

[Spencer Hall]

He should have shown.

[Jason]

Yeah, that would have been good cover for him. Yeah.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Can I tell you, despite reciting on the Internet in this time and in this place, I do not have, like, fully formed Taylor Swift opinions. But for some reason, when I heard Adam Sandler officiated this event, it just like, filled me with warmth that I can't really explain. I Don't know. Yeah, it might be because I imagined him getting up there and just reciting, like, Happy Gilmore speeches.

[Spencer Hall]

It does have a little bit of a.

[Jason]

Like, which does sound like a perfect wedding.

[Spencer Hall]

It does feel like a TGIF crossover event more than a wedding where it's like, oh, May Urkel's here. That's so cool. DJ is getting married and Urkel is here. Isn't that awesome, guys?

[Jason]

Cousin Cody, was this whole thing. Was. Was this whole thing maybe, like. Were these his concessions? She was like, hey, you can pick the. You know, when. When he didn't get to invite, I don't know, like, the entire cast of the Blues, bro. She had to explain to him that some of them are dead. And he got really sad, and she was like, honey, you can pick the officiant. And he just sniffs, and he's like, Adam Sandler. She's like, okay, fine. Yep, just stop crying.

[Spencer Hall]

He can even wear the big shorts.

[Ryan]

I hope he wore the big.

[Jason]

I hope he wore a tuxedo. Like, an immaculately fitted tuxedo with the big shorts. Like, with a satin stripe down the side. Big shorts.

[Andy]

I can also see the Sandler thing as being a super calculated Taylor move. Like a. He's this, like, resurgent cool figure among the zoomers. So it's like, oh, look how whimsical that type of thing. I. I could see her being totally on board with the Sandler.

[Jason]

Wait, tell me about Adam Sandler being cool. Now. This is not known in.

[Andy]

I mean, he's been cool forever. I just mean, like, the kids like him because all kids like him. And these kids, like, 911 era things in particular. So, like, he's like, the way, like, the Fonz was cool all over again when we were kids, thanks to tv. Sandler is cool all over again among the kids. They all dress like him anyway.

[Spencer Hall]

Is the modern Elvis.

[Jason]

All the lights go out, and Endless Love just starts playing.

[Ryan]

There is one person invited who I think did not have an invitation and frankly, did not need one and attended because she has an invitation everywhere in New York. Mariska Hartigay. I think she attended.

[Jason]

You think she's got, like, an apartment in there, like Paul Allen's mom or whatever.

[Ryan]

Whatever happens in Madison Square Garden, she's part of it. She can just show up.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Now, you know, I bet. Of course, Travis did see her and be like, dude, that's the. That's the lady. That's the lady from. The lady from the tv.

[Jason]

I think she had him on a bungee. Leash at the reception.

[Andy]

I like this because when you talk about this actor, you have to, like, calculate. What would Travis know her from? Like, you can't do the joke of, like, that's the lady from prestigious. Whatever.

[Jason]

No, it's like. It's like currency conversion.

[Ryan]

Mm.

[Andy]

Yeah, you have to. You have to put on. You have to apply sort of like a normal person filter for these famous people. Like, looking at the IMDb it's like, okay, she's on. She's on Law and Order a lot. All right. He scrolled past that many times. That might be about it, though I'm

[Jason]

gonna say Adam Sandler officiated because she told him that he could not invite the entire cast of Home Improvements.

[Andy]

Oh, Mariska Harketega was on an episode of Baywatch.

[Ryan]

There you go. Okay. Yeah, that's why I wanted her there. Yeah. Also, Gronk was there.

[Jason]

Lake Placid, A classic.

[Ryan]

Oliver Platt's peak. Yeah, well, three Musketeers, that's hard to say.

[Jason]

Ryan, is. Is Oliver Platt still your avatar?

[Spencer Hall]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jason]

I think I'm gonna miss that the most.

[Ryan]

There he is.

[Jason]

We might just. We might just log you in on After Dark just so we can look at his little come d', Artagnan, we're saving the king face.

[Ryan]

Again.

[Spencer Hall]

It's getting worse.

[Ryan]

The heat, it's got me all confuzzled.

[Spencer Hall]

Come on.

[Jason]

It's the half a century in those lungs.

[Ryan]

Oh, boy. Yeah, let's clear that. Let's clear those cobwebs out. All right, it's gonna try to relaunch

[Spencer Hall]

Jedi Yoda over here.

[Ryan]

Welcome to the Shutdown full cast. You are listening to the Internet's only college football podcast.

[Jason]

That was like watching an Olympic figure skater just do a single axle after busting there.

[Ryan]

After busting their ass.

[Jason]

Yeah, they just do the little sad loop.

[Spencer Hall]

It's fine.

[Ryan]

Oh, he's lost it, folks.

[Jason]

Very tricky.

[Ryan]

I am Spencer hall, joined by Ryan, Andy, Jason, Kirk, Holly Anderson, and there is no Michael Ser Day due to the Internet.

[Andy]

That's.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Jason]

That makes it sound like he got cancelled.

[Ryan]

He didn't get canceled.

[Jason]

A tree fell down somewhere, and he has no Internet.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes, Spencer, you chose the sun as your interruption for this episode.

[Jason]

Man, that sounds ominous.

[Spencer Hall]

This is a question that I've now had for the better part of two weeks since you didn't pick the sun last time. But I've kept it in my brain, and I have throughout this time, not done any research into this question.

[Ryan]

Good for you.

[Jason]

Well, hello, soft puppet.

[Spencer Hall]

Does the sun have a smell?

[Jason]

Oh, shit.

[Spencer Hall]

The sun, of course, is a giant burning ball of gas. And I can see this argument going in multiple directions. On the one hand, the sun burns at such a heat that it can't possibly have a smell. Whatever it's burning off, hydrogen, helium, et cetera. It's burning off at such an incredible temperature and rate.

[Jason]

Wait, is that a thing? Hot enough stuff doesn't smell.

[Spencer Hall]

I don't know. Like if you told me that is.

[Jason]

This sounds logical, but I can't figure out why. Maybe you just sound confident.

[Spencer Hall]

I haven't looked this up at all.

[Andy]

So Ryan, you're using Spencer as your chat GPT?

[Spencer Hall]

A little. A little.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes. What? My dumb AI. Spencer hall is going to figure this out. Fraud, I call him.

[Andy]

I think as smart as AI is fair.

[Spencer Hall]

It's sure.

[Jason]

Sure. This is Ask Cleaves.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Andy]

If Spencer's guess is as good as AI's guess.

[Spencer Hall]

Right. So. So I just like what do you. But the other, the other. So all right, on the one hand, sun so hot to me, it's like if I throw. If I could burn something that quickly, it would burn too quickly to smell. But on the other hand, the sun's been burning for a long ass time and it's still got gas and the gas probably has smell to it. So if we could. I understand we're in the vacuum of space, so like determining this may be challenging, but do you think if you could get close enough from a safe enough place where you could actually perceive it, do you think the sun has. The burning sun has a smell.

[Ryan]

Two part answer.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay.

[Ryan]

And the second part is and for you, not for long, right?

[Spencer Hall]

Well, yeah, sure, I understand.

[Ryan]

You get a nanosecond of sun whiff, right?

[Andy]

Like can Superman smell the sun? Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.

[Spencer Hall]

All right.

[Ryan]

And I know this. I know this from Mary Roach's book about preparing for space, which I encourage everyone to read, but you need to know that that space itself has a particular smell. Name of that book is Packing for Mars.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Ryan]

And it's about all book about packing for Mars. Yeah, packing, Packing for like packing for Hilton Head.

[Spencer Hall]

No, he read a book about other

[Ryan]

people packing other people packing.

[Jason]

Okay. Ah, so it's science fiction.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And to be clear, I mostly read it for stories about Russian cosmonauts drinking in space. That's really. And I got those. Those are in that book.

[Jason]

Wait, is this where we got our story about them going to the moon strapped?

[Ryan]

Yes, this is also where we got the story about them sending one guy to the moon, that was the plan, was to send one guy, and in order to get out, he had to. In order to get into the lander, there was no connecting tube. They had to crawl on the outside of the spaceship like a Kerbal, and then get into the lander. And then when they came back and rendezvoused, they would have to get out of the lander and back into the space capsule. Yes. Anyway, space is reported to have a smell. So if space has a smell, if ozone has a smell, the sun has a smell, how long you're going to be able to smell it is the challenge. But, yeah, it's got one.

[Andy]

Are we looking up the actual answer or is that.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm not, I'm not going to look it up. Okay. I, I, I wanted this to be all right. Do you think the smell the sun smells.

[Jason]

I think it should be left up to the States.

[Spencer Hall]

Do, do you think the sun smells good?

[Ryan]

No. No. I

[Andy]

was sweaty.

[Ryan]

Things burning typically are a neutral to bad smell.

[Spencer Hall]

You don't like gas, but that's things that burn and produce smoke, Right.

[Ryan]

How about things that burn and produce gamma radiation?

[Spencer Hall]

I'm just betting smells. I don't, I've never, I've never walked into a radiology clinic and been like, oh, all this radiation.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Do you taste, do you taste pennies or do you taste metal? That's probably a serious component of this because that's an open fusion reactor that we're just at the right.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay, sure, sure.

[Ryan]

Okay. Neil. Neil. To ask Tyson, is what you wanted to say.

[Spencer Hall]

Okay, third question. Could we change the smell of the sun if we had enough of X? Like, could we. Could we Febreze the sun if we so chose? Could you Febreze the sun or could, if you don't want to Febreze it, if you don't want to deodorize the sun. Could we make the sun smell like brisket if we really wanted to and we had enough of whatever material we wanted to use?

[Jason]

Spencer, call Trey Wingo.

[Andy]

I mean, A, if you turned it into a giant candle, or B, if you pack it full of enough space whales and then thereby you are cooking

[Spencer Hall]

space whales burning forever.

[Andy]

No, let's keep fueling it.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Ryan]

I was thinking for lunch, they're not

[Andy]

an infinite source of.

[Ryan]

Why are you doing this?

[Andy]

So that's just a stream of space whales which will feed solar system, and then also the scent will waft throughout the solar system.

[Spencer Hall]

It's okay, I'm racist. It's fine that you're.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll select the. Carefully select which space whales deserve it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. The smell, I believe that was described of space. If we wanted to alter it, the base smell.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, yeah. So that's what space. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Right. Is like a grilled steak, heated metal, or in the words of astronaut Don Pettit, pleasant, sweet smelling welding fumes. First of all, Don Pettit, you freak.

[Andy]

That dude was weird in high school, that's for sure.

[Jason]

This light.

[Spencer Hall]

Back up, back up then. Because what would be causing space to have a smell? I would think in our solar system, it would be the sun creating this. The sun has to be the thing creating the smell of space. Right.

[Jason]

That's God's own Blackstone.

[Spencer Hall]

So, like, if way away from the sun smells like pleasantly cooked steak, maybe the entire sun smells like the best steakhouse you've ever been to. Maybe it's. Maybe it smells like a Brazilian steakhouse at the sun. And it's always on green. That little thing is always on green,

[Ryan]

brother, you're fogo to shining the sun.

[Spencer Hall]

I'm not kidding. This has been stuck like every half hour. This comes up in my brain and I'm like, don't look it up because I want to go in cold to this. I have, I have worked so hard to not look up anything related to this question so that we could talk. That's how much I care about this.

[Andy]

The beauty of it is, as someone who has looked it up since you. In the past five minutes, several times, it seems that it's open to interpretation. Like, yeah, like, it's basically like, there are articles that are like, what does space smell like? But the sun specifically. You got to drill down to like four guys on Reddit who are like, really confident about, like, nope. And it's like, the great thing is

[Jason]

because it's the sun, you can like, you can have a very valid rejoinder that's just. Nuh.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes.

[Andy]

Like, like, like it seems the Reddit science community has decided the sun doesn't smell. But, like, that's a cop out. That's. It's not many guys, I'm saying, I

[Spencer Hall]

understand, I understand that, like, we may lack the instrumentation necessary to capture this, but I suspect we could send a super heat proof capsule of some sort around the sun, capture its essences, and bring it back to Earth. And imagine if you could wash your

[Andy]

hair, like waving a fart jar over

[Spencer Hall]

the sky, and then you can wash your hair with the smell of the sun. Are you fucking kidding? Me? You.

[Ryan]

This is the most Dr. Octopus coded shit you've ever done. Diabolical sun in my hair.

[Andy]

I have bottled the scent of the sun.

[Ryan]

Spider Man's like, I'm not even gonna stop you on this one.

[Andy]

You're good. I got some other shit.

[Spencer Hall]

He's like, you made a very expensive candle. Haha.

[Ryan]

Spider man, all of his little mechanical arms massaging his head and washing his.

[Andy]

You've walked right into my scheme.

[Spencer Hall]

My scalp has never been more powerful. Spider Man.

[Andy]

It's so warm. I suppose it is. Have a good day.

[Ryan]

Walking into that Reddit thread. Comment 34 has been removed by all Doc Ock.

[Spencer Hall]

Who has that dumbass bulk. Ha. My perfect pole cut, washed by the sun itself. Apollo is my baba.

[Andy]

Spider. What if it fixes him? What if the light of the heavens inundates his mind and cures him?

[Spencer Hall]

God. Oh, Jesus.

[Andy]

I see the error.

[Spencer Hall]

Spider Man. Oh, Peter man. That was up. Dude. I am so.

[Jason]

I'm still going to do the voice.

[Andy]

I'm a good guy now.

[Spencer Hall]

I swear

[Jason]

I will reflect on this and grow much like the sun wiser.

[Andy]

You can trust me.

[Spencer Hall]

Next to on the moon. Spider Man.

[Jason]

I see you. I hear you. I believe you.

[Andy]

I'm listening and learning.

[Ryan]

Buzz Aldrin's like, be holding me accountable.

[Spencer Hall]

Spider Man.

[Andy]

Accountability

[Spencer Hall]

masculinity re examined. Spider Man.

[Ryan]

Who's ever come back. Who's ever come back from being canceled? That's right.

[Andy]

Every comic character. Yes. But in this instance.

[Ryan]

In this instance, Doc Ock.

[Spencer Hall]

I think Red Skull's the only comic book character. We're like, nah. That guy.

[Andy]

Yeah. We ain't writing that one. Nope. Hey, man gets no sunlight.

[Jason]

Who are you to say Red Skull was a Nazi?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Can you define that?

[Jason]

Who are you gonna believe?

[Andy]

Me?

[Jason]

A person with a vested interest in the outcome of this conversation or all

[Andy]

the available primary wanted Red Skulls.

[Spencer Hall]

Democratic candidate. That Red Skull should be the Democratic candidate.

[Jason]

God, Bernie totally would have endorsed Red Skull.

[Ryan]

I don't know how he got in there.

[Spencer Hall]

I knew him as Tony.

[Ryan]

People make mistakes.

[Spencer Hall]

Red Skull got to smell worse.

[Jason]

I'm not one of them, but people make mistakes.

[Spencer Hall]

Red Skull, Red Skull. Skincare routine.

[Andy]

That's a nightmare that man needs, son.

[Jason]

You don't. You don't see any wrinkles, do you?

[Ryan]

Red Skull not on the guest list for Taylor.

[Jason]

That is a surprise, Spencer.

[Ryan]

That is a surprise. Travis would be like, dude, are there any.

[Spencer Hall]

Are there any Marvel. I mean, you said Paul Rudd, so I guess that that counts. But are there any other Marvel superhero?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. What's the Bradley Cooper hero count for the wedding? See, you had. You had Rocket Raccoon. You had Antman.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You had Antman.

[Andy]

Madam, I would have to go back IB Leading Spider man, leading the community.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Don't forget, Madame Web, we're building such

[Spencer Hall]

a weird fucking Avengers.

[Andy]

This is. This is some thunderbolt shit right here.

[Jason]

We are to start a dialogue.

[Andy]

This. This is. This is one of them. All right.

[Spencer Hall]

I guess Ohio Valley Avengers.

[Andy]

The Cincinnati Avengers.

[Spencer Hall]

Oh, and Junior Smith as well.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Andy]

Teach me tj, who spins out of.

[Jason]

Put all the Jaylen in one section. And that's multiple man.

[Ryan]

All the JLons are like, who's Taylor Swift?

[Spencer Hall]

All right, final question. Would you like to smell the sun if given the opportunity in a safe way that didn't like, incinerate you? You would like to smell the sun.

[Ryan]

Hands down, 100.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, yeah. I think that's right. I think that's the right choice. I think that's that. Which shows that's the power of the human imagination is.

[Andy]

Does nobody blog anymore? I'm trying to look up the wedding guest list and nobody has a list. They're writing paragraphs and shit. Ain't nobody trying to see that. Thank you. Finally, someone blogged. Jesus.

[Jason]

Do you have to do everything around here? Doesn't till Saturday have to do everything.

[Andy]

There's Andy Reid.

[Ryan]

Benson Boone was there.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah, sure.

[Ryan]

Hey, invite him.

[Spencer Hall]

Travis.

[Andy]

Still throwing up the dudes.

[Jason]

So the interplay that I wanted to see there.

[Andy]

That's Travis. Sorry.

[Jason]

So you guys remember when Travis and Taylor started dating, we had a genuinely delightful series of weeks where hardcore swifties were getting really into football and, like, trying to understand, like genuinely trying to understand everything about it because it's important to Taylor in it. Therefore, it will be important to us. I want to know how much of that desire to learn and absorb things about our friend's new boyfriend extended to the famous set. And really, I want to know who from Taylor's side of the guest list was like, buttonholing Andy Reid to ask him about coverages, you know, like in the prime rib station.

[Ryan]

Like, somebody who's like, from somewhere in that.

[Jason]

Like, not Paul Rudd, who's already there, who's already in it, but who is like. Who is like a late to the party, fiendishly aspiring ball knower of this set.

[Ryan]

Oh, that's good.

[Andy]

The. I mean, the joke always goes with Phoebe Bridgers.

[Spencer Hall]

Sure.

[Andy]

Like, when people.

[Jason]

That was a great post.

[Andy]

Like, yeah, I think from the.

[Jason]

That's probably what put this in my head.

[Andy]

From the instant these two got together, that was like, there were people shipping that friendship, I think.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I want it to be Graham Norton.

[Jason]

Bridgers might have the same macaroni and cheese recipe as Charles McDonald now. You guys ever think about that?

[Spencer Hall]

I'd love to hear Graham Norton. I can see Graham Norton just, like, repositioning himself on the seat and saying, so tell me about the push. Push. Too high safety. What happened with this? Yeah, the tush push. Really?

[Ryan]

Now, tell me this. Cover three. Does this look like a cover three? Safety's like, way in the wrong place. Crowd starts to giggle.

[Spencer Hall]

You have a story. You have a story.

[Jason]

Oh, tell us, Tell us, tell us, tell us.

[Ryan]

This one was in the wrong place, wasn't he? Yeah, you threw it with the.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You know, he was taking a shit. Yeah, he was in the injury. Tent pooping in a helmet. Yeah.

[Jason]

You know, I saw Judi Dench the other day, and she told me to tell you that the A Gap blitz is the greatest American invention since Bacardi Breeze.

[Ryan]

That's the best show that I've only watched on Instagram reels.

[Jason]

I've never seen more than 20 seconds of it at a time. And it is fascinating to me. He seems messy as shit. Good for him. Unless he sucks, in which case, don't yell at me.

[Spencer Hall]

But in a fun way. Messy in a fun way.

[Ryan]

Puckish. Yeah, I think you should. There should be a word for. Given the limited knowledge of my human experience and my. My social media contact, only with this

[Jason]

person they see, can we have an emoji for that. Can it just be like, the whole emoji?

[Ryan]

Limited endorsement. The most limited endorsement of this person until I find out they're a human trafficker. Right.

[Spencer Hall]

I think. I think proof that I am something of a misanthrope at heart is that the other thing with the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce wedding is I think it would have felt amazing to RSVP no to this wedding. I think I would have felt so powerful to say, no, I won't be there. I'm not coming.

[Ryan]

This is the point in the show where I get to tell everybody the thing I've wanted to tell them for three weeks, which is the World cup is happening longer than legit. Tried to talk about.

[Jason]

We've.

[Ryan]

We've tried to talk about the World Cup.

[Andy]

I think it's been more than three. I think it feels like four or five episodes now that we've had, like, all right, we're gonna talk about the World cup, and then we don't.

[Jason]

It Just keeps falling off the show. Doc. A thing that we have.

[Andy]

I think it would be funny if we did podcast business now. Would that be.

[Jason]

Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Andy]

Like, just to say, like, oh, we finally made it the World cup and then we didn't.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's very World cup appropriate. What would FIFA do? They would do some podcast business. What's a business podcast business. It's a business podcast business. The United States lost.

[Andy]

Oh, holy.

[Ryan]

We've lost. Ass. Lost. Ass loss. Oh, stank loss.

[Jason]

Yeah, I lost with gusto.

[Ryan]

But you know who, you know who doesn't lose?

[Jason]

Egypt. What time is it?

[Andy]

Egypt did lose by quite, quite, quite a staggering downfall. But we will go to the E'[e-mail] in honor of Egypt. East Carolina, we've looked at them recently.

[Ryan]

An ancient empire as well.

[Andy]

ECU Pirates, let's see what you got here. We've definitely looked at this at some point, but really, you cannot too often look at any given webpage at Home Field of paradox.

[Jason]

What if we honor the pyramid and go to Memphis?

[Andy]

Yeah, we'll get to that.

[Spencer Hall]

Can we stay on these for a second? Because there's nothing I want to do with these.

[Andy]

I'm just taking a look at ECU and what the item that I would recommend for you, dear listener, that you invest in is probably going to be the pig skinned pig out since 85. It's a pirate who's been grilling and has grilled a football for you. So take a look at that at Home Field apparel dot com. What's. What's our next garment of forbidden Memphis?

[Spencer Hall]

I would like to stay on the ease. I'd like to go over to Eastern Michigan.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Spencer Hall]

To talk about the beauty of Home Field. Fraud, rapacious birds. The first thing you get when you look at the Eastern Michigan page is the Eastern Michigan retro eagle script corduroy hat. I know through the grapevine that Home Field has sold a lot of these hats, not necessarily to people living in the state of Michigan, but maybe to people living in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. And what I am here to say is this. One of the sneaky nice things about Home Field is that you can use these items to mean whatever you want. Do I own this Eagles hat and do I wear it and am I necessarily using it to support emu? Yes, yes and no. I. My wife. My wife's birthday is today actually, as we record this. And one thing that I got her for her birthday was a Kansas State quarter zip. Beautiful purple Kansas State Quarter zip. That has a Ks On. On the. On like the breast pocket area. That's because those are her initials. Sorry. To Kansas State. She does not give a shit about the Wildcats or how well they do at the Big 12 this year. But that's the beauty of home field fraud. You can take these, these pieces and you can make them mean whatever you want them to mean. They don't have to mean the school that they are associated with. They can. And that's great. But if you've decided, like, no, I just want to own this Campbell camels thing and I'm just going to like, eliminate this. This is. Look, I have a shirt that says Camels Now. Does it have to be about Campbell? Doesn't it can be about any camel thing you want it to be. They can't stop you. That's the power of home field and the First Amendment coming together to create incredible fraud opportunities for you.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Like.

[Ryan]

And you know that symbolism, it can mean whatever you want. To me, it can be World cup theme. For instance, if you want to support Argentina, you know, and you believe in whiteouts. Pencil Penn State. It's right there. Go ahead and get one.

[Spencer Hall]

Yes. Yes.

[Andy]

I realized during the course of the World cup, back when America was in it, that my West Virginia almost heaven hat was appropriate for our soccer team that used to. That used to be around.

[Ryan]

They'll never take that from us.

[Jason]

Hey, listen, I think it's sweet that we let men play soccer in the first place.

[Ryan]

2027, the women's world Cup.

[Spencer Hall]

It gets them tired and then they go to bed

[Ryan]

next.

[Jason]

I stopped showing you videos on the Internet. Thank you.

[Spencer Hall]

Somebody else has a birthday. We're celebrating.

[Jason]

Oh, my God. That's what it was. Travis just got up at the altar and was like, babe, babe, you see this? Tick tock.

[Andy]

Also, additionally, it's just hedgehogs farting. This. Speaking of hedgehogs farting. Patreon.com shutdown, full cast. Where sounds of that quality are available. Hours and hours of them. Most recently, Cerber isn't here. Cerber is like left it all on the field during the recording of our Gilmore Girls episode that went up a few days ago. Yeah, he's recovering. It's well earned. The man we recorded with, like, it was like two hours and 20 minutes or something. He's like, sorry, there's like 10 more minutes I gotta, gotta put in there. Late is hard on the line in order to push it across, push it across the boundary there and get that episode out to you at its proper length one of. I'm going to estimate roughly 7,000 hours of audio that we posted on our Patreon, give or take about 6,000 something since we launched this Patreon last year. But it's the newest one available to you folks at home. Patreon.com shutdown fullcast, where you can learn really. You can really learn about a lot of stuff. You don't learn a damn thing on this show. You just sort of learn our theories about what the sun. We learned what three guys on Reddit think the sun might smell like. Whereas on our Patreon, you will learn stuff that is a bit more concrete.

[Spencer Hall]

Think about how much more that is than, like the average person in the middle age learned. You know, you're doing way better than those guys.

[Andy]

If you went back in time, there's. This is a popular question. If you went back a thousand years, how quickly could you da, da, da, da, da. Take over the whatever? And the answer is, of course, like, you wouldn't. You would. You would. You would be. You know, you'd be terrible at it. You don't know metallurgy. But if you study the what we're giving you at Shutdown, Full Gas Patreon, then you will at least confuse the outraged locals who see you emerge.

[Spencer Hall]

Yeah. Happy birthday, Channel 6. Happy birthday. Hey, I don't.

[Jason]

Fun things are born today. Michelle Kwan. But I don't understand.

[Spencer Hall]

It's. It's Channel 6's birthday, but we get the gifts. What happened, guys?

[Ryan]

That's crazy. We turned five. This little bouncing beast of a website.

[Jason]

This is the longest I've ever worked in any one place. That's terrifying to realize. I work for all of you. Slightly less terrifying to realize. Hey, we got some new stuff for y'. All. This is how we think of things, and this is how we do business. A couple months ago, we had been planning for a while to just give the site a little refresh. There's things about the website that we didn't like because it's super minimal, maybe a little too minimal, and people have been asking for certain things. So we set about trying to do these things. And we said, let's get a new logo. We said, all right. We said, let's make it look a little bit weirder. And we said, oh, man, let's make it look like. What if we made it look like the maybe It Will Happen Today cartoonist got a hold of it. They're like, oh, man, that'd be great. And they're like, what if we just ask him to make one for us. And he did. He made us a couple, actually. Phineas X. Jones, who you can find in any of the Channel 6 Socials. And also on our brand new shiny mast test today at channel6 dot news, has designed some shiny new graphics for us. We have two brand new features on Channel 6 that people have been asking for. We have the ability to give gift subscriptions now and we have the ability to send tips. We have people who ask us. A surprising number of you ask us, which is awesome because I know that I am and certainly a lot of you are from the lol, you wouldn't download a car generation. But people ask us on a fairly regular basis. Hey, I'm forwarding this article that you sent me to a bunch of people. Can I pay you for it? And we say, no, not really, but thank you for asking. And now you can. There is a tips button at the top of the website now that you can use to send us a tip through stripe that does not accompany your monthly payment. So you can do that. Somebody just sent us 50 bucks this morning as a happy birthday present, which is awesome because now we can turn around and use it to pay more artists and producers to do more cool stuff that we like. Also, we're not raising prices this year. We thought about it. Times is tough, but times is tough for y'.

[Spencer Hall]

All.

[Jason]

And there's more of you than us. So 10 bucks a month or 100 bucks a year, which is a 17% discount in my opinion, for two things a week and more. More new things to come, as usual.

[Ryan]

Yeah, prices that don't change. The Costco hot dog. Channel 6 next.

[Spencer Hall]

Costco sweating, y'. All. Phantom Island. It's the show I do with Stephen Godfrey this week. I'm going to make him talk about cycling and the New Orleans Saints, his two favorite things. It's gonna go great and we're gonna have a good time and maybe things will be learned, but probably not. Phantom island show, if you want to sign up for a paid membership, if you don't, just listen to it on Wednesdays, comes out the same day the full cast does. And with that, I'm gonna mack Brown once again. See you later, suckers.

[Andy]

Oh, my God, he's gonna go steal the sun.

[Ryan]

We'll see you later.

[Andy]

I just want to note there was an event that happened in the news that went viral a few days ago. It was there's some sort of weird church thing where there was, like theater involving guns at a church thing. I was tagged in this a number of Times. If you know why, you know why. But I would like once again to episode was that I wrote a book called Hell is the world without you that is formed around an event that was basically that. That A, I witnessed and B, it serves as sort of a story device within that novel. And like, it was interesting to see, like, how many times on one social network I was tagged in that it's sort of like people would say, this can't be real. This can't be real. And someone would say, like, oh, no, like, like someone who's not even, like, you know, someone. A person who is not like, from our usual social crowd or whatever. It was fun to see it, like, cited out there as like, no, this, this. This work demonstrates that this was already a thing that was known about before it popped up on. On going viral. So, yeah, guns in church. Let me. Let me explain that to you. Hell's the world without you is the name of the novel. It has rave reviews and a lot of good ratings and raised a lot of money for charity, might I add. And yeah, if you ever see any weird church shit going on, just read it again and I'll explain it to you. Podcast business

[Ryan]

concluded.

[Andy]

Spencer, do you want to talk about the World Cup?

[Ryan]

Boy, do I want to talk about the World Cup. Holy shit. This is the greatest sporting event ever.

[Jason]

Wait, before we get to that. No, I'm not kidding. There's something that if we don't get today, I'm actually going to be very upset about because when Jason dropped it in our work chat this morning, I really did think you were kidding.

[Spencer Hall]

So.

[Andy]

All right. Yeah, the Big 12, which is very business brained and. And like a specific kind of business brain. Like, the big ten is business brain in the terms of. Yeah, like, like the big ten's business brain is like, we do not perceive geography. Everything is ours. Eat the planet, eat the world. Everything. Virtue, all mine.

[Ryan]

Good for the shareholders.

[Andy]

And whereas the Big 12's business. What if we had a partnership with Pharrell Williams? What if we had a partnership with a random Mexican wrestling company? What if we put Monster Energy at the front of our conference name for the season and had it retitled Monster Energy Big 12 Football? What? What if? What if, what if, what if? And that last one, if you haven't seen it, now you're think. You think I'm riffing? Nope.

[Ryan]

No.

[Andy]

No. The Big 12 has. Has accepted money and changed the Name of Big 12 Football to Monster Energy Big 12 Football. And, like, is. That's just gonna like, pop up on the screen or something. I don't know if announcers will be

[Ryan]

compelled to say that Sean McDonough. Please let Sean McDonough have to do Monster Energy Big 12.

[Andy]

I mean, if they've bullied these people into saying two minute timeout, they'll say anything but the Monster Energy two minute timeout. So, yeah, Monster Energy Big 12 football is a thing that appeared it. Like it was uttered by a commissioner on a stage press release, like actual paperwork involved.

[Jason]

Yeah, I can hear. I can hear multiple announcers cadence in this already. This also might be the best possible outcome for this particular scenario because it could have been either monster.com or monster cables, both of which suck. At least we've got a useful product or service here.

[Andy]

It's a great product. Yeah, it's. It is a product that I have. I have known and trusted for many years.

[Ryan]

You get. And also you'll get Jason Benetti saying it, which is pretty good. Maybe Dave Pash.

[Jason]

I was thinking Dave Patch. He's gonna like, he's gonna be smooth with it.

[Ryan]

He's gonna sound so tired too. He'll be like, monster energy big 12 football.

[Andy]

Sounds like you need a monster Energy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a little. Little pick me up. I know how you can get that, buddy.

[Andy]

It also. It is.

[Jason]

Yeah. I thought he'd bring like a quiet reserve to it. I guess we'll find out.

[Andy]

As a sponsor, it feels like it would have been super apt for the 2010s Big 12.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Like, that was football on Monster Energy. Now they just do normal football. Like now it's just like, that's the competent conference where nobody sucks except Oklahoma State. But like, it's. It's not wacky ball anymore. It's more like I drank a monster six hours ago and now I'm baseline. It's not. I have mainlined monster.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or four or six hours in select games. I have consumed a monster at 6:00pm oh, no, that has happened as well.

[Jason]

I was pining for that version of the Big 12 during our World cup game. Speaking of the World cup. And then we got further into that game and I was like, oh, no, this is the other kind of Big 12 game. Okay.

[Andy]

Yeah, that was ACC, I think that was.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we went full ACC, I think.

[Jason]

Oh, I just thought we turned into Oklahoma State.

[Andy]

I just meant like, mainly the one goal. You know, the one that. That was like, that was ACC Thursday Night Football to me, where it's like someone up in a way that is like not cartoonishly spectacular, just sort of like, literally. What are you doing there? How'd you get some. Why are you standing there?

[Jason]

Like, it's a glitch.

[Andy]

Like, it's a punt that you. Like, the punch snapped forward or something.

[Ryan]

Like, he fell over like a tent that was put together wrong. You know, like, just. It all went sideways.

[Andy]

Somebody said he looked like a failed QuickTime event.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he did. Also, it was very cartoonish in this respect. There was somebody behind him the whole time, and everyone's going, behind you, and he's just. Just standing.

[Andy]

The view. There's like, the. I don't know if everyone has seen it, but, like, the. The computer reconstructed view of what he's seeing out there with the little gloves. Yeah, yeah. It turns around and you see Mickey Mouse's gloves, and you're like, dude, you're so goddamn far from the goat. What are you doing out there, man? Why are you all the way out there in Middle Earth?

[Ryan]

Our goalie cannot be a Harvard guy. Our goalie cannot be somebody whose dad.

[Jason]

I'm sorry to profile, but it's not right.

[Ryan]

I will profile here. Your dad can't be the guy who invented gene therapy. You can't, because that's. That's who Matt Fries's dad was. Was before he passed away.

[Jason]

Please call his dad Mr. Freeze.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that. You can't be that guy. You need to be like Jean Louis D. Buffon. You need to be like, who are you? And you're like, I am the gifted child of a former discus thrower who became a gym teacher and a former gifted goalie who became a gym teacher. And then I was raised in gymnasium. Like, that's. That's who your goalie has to be. Don't. You can't be a guy from Harvard.

[Jason]

I was making a Batman joke there, but I'm really not even sure I'm kidding. You do need Joel Schumacher energy in some form to be a goalie.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You got to be. You have to be cracked. You have to be kind of not.

[Jason]

Well, because you need that, like, relentless self assurance that also might be making you a little bit insane on the inside. I think we.

[Andy]

Yeah. So I would like to see more insane, less self assurance. Because in that goal, I saw the self assurance was tuned way too high.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Andy]

Like, I should. This is where I should be standing all the way out here.

[Ryan]

It did look like somebody who doesn't. Doesn't believe bad things can happen to him, but not in the sense that, like, you know, because that's how you got out of things. It's like, no, you don't. You don't think bad things can happen to you. And you're kind of right. Except then I. I am overjoyed by this. And I think that, again, we need to recognize that the SEC is the laziest major league when it comes to this, because Big 12 out here doing crazy shit, right? Moving. Doing it. The Big ten built their own studios, you know, expanded like crazy. Said, hey, spreadsheet. Do what? And spreadsheet was like, do this. And they were like, spreadsheet good. And they went out and did that. You may not like it, but they were very aggressive about it. And the SEC is like, well, this one's next to us. We'll just let ESPN do everything a

[Jason]

little slower down here in the true South.

[Ryan]

Thanks. Move. Hi, I'm John T. Edge, and I'm here with the SEC here and here in Arkansas.

[Jason]

That's how we like it.

[Ryan]

That's how we like it. We'll just let ESPN do everything. That'll work out real great. Lunchtime in Birmingham. For real. Can we talk about the World Cup?

[Jason]

I see no more. I don't have anything else I can put it off with, so.

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Andy]

I mean, we've been recording for 58 minutes. This is probably. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Let's do it. It's World cup time.

[Ryan]

Just cut it.

[Jason]

It will have been World cup time in the edit.

[Ryan]

Cut it off. Yeah.

[Andy]

So like, weeks ago. It might have been four weeks ago. It was like, let's do the. Let's talk about which team is playing, like, which college football team thing. I don't know if we've thought about that in a while. I'm just sort of bringing the listeners into the. The process of all the things they have not heard on the show about the World Cup. So, I mean, just pretend we did a great job with that, first of all.

[Ryan]

We did. That was an incredible segment. Jason, you did a great job.

[Jason]

Holly, thank you. Spencer, I thought yours was nice as well.

[Ryan]

Yeah, thanks. We're also. We're also recording this. The day after the United States shat the bed spectacularly.

[Andy]

Minutes after Egypt shat the bed as well.

[Ryan]

Yes. Minutes after Egypt shat the bed and after Argentina will advance in a 3, 2 win here, by the way, in Atlanta, Georgia. I do think this is the greatest thing I've ever watched. Like, the greatest sports thing I've ever watched. I had people when I said this who were like, Texas, usc.

[Andy]

Okay, that's a few hours that's one game.

[Jason]

In fairness to your mentions, just this once. And I'm only going to do this once. The word that you used was event. And I know what you meant. Like our World Series and NBA Finals series. But what you said was event. And then you got mad at people who said Rose Bowl. Now I'm going to go back into my usual direction. People who reply to a post that has a list of things that you personally liked with no blank question mark. And that's the entire post. You should all be killed.

[Ryan]

Yeah. No, that's not what's in the post. This post is not about waffles.

[Andy]

I'm not gonna do it.

[Jason]

This isn't a threat, but you should all be killed.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but this is. This is even with the United States. Or maybe. Maybe this will help.

[Jason]

Maybe.

[Ryan]

Maybe we threw like a dark. We had too much, like light side storylines. Let's just throw a crazy. Some crazy FIFA shit in there. Yeah. This is the greatest shit I've ever watched. This is phenomenal. I. Previous record holders, the 98 World cup, which was accentuated by sleep deprivation, pretty much made every sleep. Every sporting event in my 20s better. This is. This is incredible. Also, I get to watch it at a decent hour, which, as it turns out, is kind of nice.

[Andy]

The last game that wasn't like, oh, damn, wow. Event was Canada, Morocco on Saturday. And like since then, like us getting the kicked out of us. That was a spectacle. That was highly watching stuff. The day before that, nothing but like one score games. That was Cape Faraday's final stand. Spain beat the hell out of Austria. Like you have. It's like one out of every five to seven games is not a banger. You see? You know what I'm saying? Like, the hit rate is just absurd.

[Ryan]

Norway. Norway with big fish Erling Holland.

[Jason]

And that's where I think. No, I think Jason's got it. Like, that is where, you know, you might love the Rose Bowl. That might be your favorite thing you've ever watched. That's great. But in terms of the pure hit rate during a series. Yeah, it's. It's hard to find competition for this.

[Andy]

Yeah. It's like if. All right, say pick. Pick any season that had your favorite title gamble game and now make the entire run of BCS games or playoff games or whatever, all of them bangers leading up to it. That's what we have cooking right here. The average.

[Jason]

You know, make it go on for a month.

[Andy]

Yeah, like. Well, like. Yeah. I mean, the. The average college football postseason is like oh, that game was great. This one other game was great. These 25 games, I don't remember at all. That's not what we have in this World Cup.

[Ryan]

No, this has been. This has been different. This has been different. I don't know if it's the expanded playoff. Full disclosure.

[Andy]

It's mainly because Italy's not here, I think.

[Ryan]

I think it's mainly. Yeah.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Andy]

Thank you. It gets better and better, the lack of Italy.

[Jason]

They should keep staying away and see how much better things get.

[Ryan]

It's really true that. That we got further than Italy in the World Cup. That should be noted. Right? Many nations got further like Italy.

[Jason]

We didn't have to leave home.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Jason]

There is truly more that unites us than divides us.

[Ryan]

I have a friend who was in Italy recently, like, as in last week. And I said, did you see the World Cup?

[Jason]

It wasn't on any of the TVs.

[Ryan]

It wasn't on any of the TVs. Italy.

[Jason]

Not in the airport, not in restaurants.

[Ryan]

No. Italy was celebrating, Charlotte.

[Jason]

I can tell you. I respect that so much.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they were celebrating F1 victories. They were like, Ferrari.

[Jason]

Ferrari.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Andy]

I mean, once you've fallen behind Uzbekistan, it's kind of. It's not your sport anymore.

[Ryan]

It's fine.

[Jason]

But, like, I stand gone too soon.

[Ryan]

I know every single player in those looked like a Roblox guy. Like, they were just all over. All of Uzbekistan's players were just blocky. Was awesome. They're like, bring me your stoutest men. Your stoutest, trottiest men.

[Jason]

Build a wall.

[Andy]

We did block a stage.

[Ryan]

Wall, meat wall. Just. They were. They were a delight. They were great. We had Jason's team. Paraguay. I'm just telling Jason that his team

[Andy]

was signed to be Paraguay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because they played haram ball. They played like the most foul. Disgusting football.

[Andy]

No, I did pick out. I did pick out a team. Which one was it? Fuck, I can't remember which one it was. God damn it. It was the. You were expensive. You were comparing them to Iowa. I know that much.

[Ryan]

Paraguay.

[Andy]

It wasn't Paraguay.

[Ryan]

It was not Paraguay. Oh, okay. You'll have to give me a minute.

[Jason]

It's in the Channel 6, I think

[Andy]

it might have been ivory. No, it might have been Ivory Coast. No, it was early. Early on in the thing.

[Ryan]

Ecuador. Ecuador is pretty disgusting. They just didn't. Yeah, they played. They played some pretty anti ball, too. Croatia. Croatia was also a little. A little unclean.

[Andy]

I'm going all the way back.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You will find it.

[Jason]

Find it.

[Ryan]

Huh? But, like, so many absolutely delightful and entertaining things have happened. Cristiano Ronaldo bombed out of the tournament.

[Andy]

Yeah, he played like shit, man.

[Ryan]

He played like shit.

[Andy]

Nothing great, like, like just. Just stat padding at, you know, meaningless moments, but otherwise no stats at all.

[Ryan]

Scored a couple of goals against Uzbekistan. It was like, I'm back. And then he didn't score. He didn't score a goal from run of play for, like, the rest of the tournament. He got, like, charity penalties because they were like, I'll let that old man have one and be kind. I am overjoyed. Yeah. Portugal bombed out. That's awesome. You know, I'm mad about the United States, but we got as far as Portugal.

[Jason]

Portugal also produced, man. As Blue sky becomes the premier destination for sports, I would like to remind everybody we talked about this a little bit during football season that as you see, like, real live gumps and whatnot spring up here and there in Blue sky, it's important to, you know, not coddle them, but shelter them just a little bit until their wobbly baby deer legs get. Get big enough to stand on. We're building an ecosystem here, right? And we need. We need all kinds of sports fans in order to make this ecosystem. And nowhere was this better demonstrated. No, nowhere was our arrival, as I say, collective. Our collective arrival as this, as the sports app demonstrated than during this game when some dude I don't know replied to our After Dark producer, Doug Reyes Ron and said, I think most of us wanted Portugal to win. To which Doug very fairly replied, who the is we? And the guy replied to him and goes, where did I say we? Which.

[Andy]

That's good. That's really good.

[Spencer Hall]

Got him.

[Andy]

Got you there.

[Jason]

I. I hated to hand Doug that l. But I got to say he took it with grace.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Good job.

[Jason]

It is the most. It is the most message board crystalline exchange I have seen on this cursed website yet. And it gave me so much hope.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. The World cup on Blue sky has been like the first, I think, sports event and that. And again, we say event, we're talking about, like, multi day thing that has truly wrapped up the entire site, which, like, it is a hard site to drag into normal people discussions. And they all are like, if you go on Twitter and you try to have a normal people discussion, it's. It'll get weird and racist. Yes, blah, blah, blah. But like Blue sky, the people who very sincerely want every conversation to be about politics, finding that, like, no, you. You will be made aware of sports. You, you. You will be Brought up, caught up on sports and not in a rude asshole way. Just like sports will just be unavoidable. It has been fun.

[Jason]

They're still. But I've never seen them overpowered collectively like this.

[Andy]

Yeah. And like, again, not in a dickhead way. Like, it's okay. You don't like sports. It's fine. This is the sports site for a while.

[Jason]

I don't go around telling you that I don't like semiotics.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I don't like, bust in and I'm like, oh, man. Like, I really like Benson. I don't really like Benson Boone, but you do your thing.

[Andy]

I don't think Benson Boone's big.

[Ryan]

That's Benson Boone's huge. You don't know about Boone Sky. Yeah, Boone Sky's massive.

[Andy]

Okay, so there. So there's a lot of 19 year olds on Blue sky.

[Ryan]

Lot of night, like. No, there's a lot of quote 19 year olds. I am very young. Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay, so these are moms.

[Ryan]

Yeah, these are. These are moms.

[Andy]

Spencer, it was Cape Verde opening game that you compared to Iowa, which was very.

[Ryan]

That was accurate. They were Cape. They're far more dynamic because Cape Verde

[Andy]

plays for a lot of ties. Right. And like, that did them very, very well. But like, to me, right away, what I spotted was this is Oklahoma. This is a team that the score looks like Iowa. The play looks like monster energy, Big 12 football where high effort, no scoring.

[Ryan]

Well, they were like, they're like 25, 20, 24, 20, 25 Oklahoma in that Cape Verde would play long ball. They had two scores a game. Two scores a game and maybe some kicking. And then the rest of the time. Disgusting. Defense. Yeah, just. Just grind, nasty physical defense. And a goalie who. A goalie who put on. If you want to know who the man of the tournament is, the man of the tournament is the Cape Verde goalie. Okay. Vizinia, I believe is his name. He. Yeah, that's. He's the man of the tournament. He was incredible. He like. Yeah, Bozinha. He. He's incredible. And he is also very old, which made him very cool because he looked like. He looked like, you know, like, he looks his age. So it kind of looked like he was like, yeah, I was up all night with the kid, you know, or I had a double shift and then I just put on this goalies jersey and I came in and he played like a absolute, like dog. Just a hero.

[Andy]

There were several. I'm thinking of the span game in particular when it was like, you should be going for the tie. You should be going for the tie. And they're like, fuck that. Like, they did not go for ties. They were not here. Like, the thing they accomplished by taking so many good teams to draws and or into regulation is incredible. But they were not going for that.

[Ryan]

No.

[Andy]

They were going for wins the entire time. They were just fucking awesome.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they were awesome. Like, story of the tournament. They were incredible. I'm like, this is. We're at the point, by the way, where every single team is awesome.

[Andy]

Every single, like, yeah, now that America

[Ryan]

is out, now that America and Portugal are out, okay, The Amerigo Vespucci connection, right now that they're done, the worst

[Andy]

teams that touch the Atlantic Ocean are

[Ryan]

out right now in Germany.

[Jason]

Can I use Cape Verde to pull us back to one more bit of podcast business that I forgot?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Important. Sorry. We're making podcast business long again. Cry about it. Maybe see somebody else will quit. It is the start of Q3, which means that we have rolled over our Q2 donations from the PTKU collection in our merch shop@pre ownedairboats.com we are sending thanks to you and thanks to one Jaranurus reader who's going to double this donation. They're going to. They're going to match it. You beautiful maniacs purchased very close to 6, $700 worth of Blue Sharks merch in the past three months, which is close enough that we are rounding it up to an even 700. We have a very generous donor in New Mexico who's going to be matching that. So we are sending $1,400 to the transgender Research center of New Mexico. And if it's the start of Q3, this means we have new merch to share with you. We have a PTKU beach towel, a full size beach towel, two sizes, one, one of the five foot variety and one of the six foot variety with a lovely little like PTKU Sailing Club logo in it, available now at our merch shop, preowned airboats.com and we are keeping it. We're on kind of a west coast swing with merch donations. Last year we did kind of a Midwest thing. This is not intentional. This is kind of just how it's been going. We did Trans visible Montana in Q1. We donated to an Oregon New Mexico I just mentioned. And we are going to Alianza Trans Latinx, which is an organization in Orange County, California. Thank you to longtime reader Mike for suggesting this one to us. So every dollar we earn from PTKU Merch for the next three months, we will Send that money to this fine organization, uplifting the trans Latinx community of Orange County. So get in there. Get buying. Sharks can stay wet, but you might have moisture you want to remove from your body every once in a while, and we're here to help you do that. The rest of the time, we'll. We'll keep adding moisture to you. Don't worry about how. Somebody get me out of here.

[Ryan]

It is a little Cape Verde looking. I do like it.

[Jason]

I was inspired. Listen, you did this to me. You. You gave me a terrific World cup experience this year because you assigned me Cape Verde. When we were editing the Channel 6 pick your team thing, I was like, oh, I'm taking these guys. They sound great. Also, you know, 10 volcanic islands. What's not to like? And then I took the Golden Goal magazine team selector and I got Cape Verity again. I was like, well, I'm locked in. And, boy, was that a great decision.

[Ryan]

I. I've made nothing but bad decisions. Well, not bad decisions in terms of teams to root for. I root for teams and they lose. That's fine. It probably doesn't bode well for Columbia, whose last.

[Jason]

I enjoyed my half a day as a lifelong Egypt fan.

[Ryan]

This morning I. I have. I have Lindsey Adler and a couple of other people pushing me to Norway, which is probably, you know, if I was to go by genetics, probably pretty accurate.

[Jason]

You think?

[Ryan]

You think?

[Jason]

Can I tell you, I also arrived at Norway, but in a different way.

[Ryan]

How so?

[Jason]

Looking up stuff about Norway and learning that Billy Campbell, who played the title character in Disney's the Rocketeer, AKA the greatest movie ever made, lives with his family in Moss, Norway, which is kind of down there on the. On the southeastern fjords in the SEC or maybe the ACC of Norway, if you will. So that was enough for me.

[Ryan]

That's good. I think if you have not watched on Telemundo also.

[Jason]

The big fella.

[Ryan]

Yeah, the big fella. Big fish Holland is. He's amazing. Because Jason, have you seen any of his social media posts?

[Andy]

Yes, yes, I have. Yeah, all about them.

[Ryan]

Where he was like, you're a boy or somebody was like, are you a

[Andy]

boy or a girl?

[Ryan]

And he's like, well, you know, my dad's a dude and my mom's a mom, so I guess I'm half and half.

[Andy]

Yeah, he's a silly guy. He's got lots of Shrek posts.

[Ryan]

Somebody said he looked like Shrek's, like, extremely athletic son.

[Jason]

I could see it.

[Andy]

He's got. He's got like. Yeah, he's he did some sort of a Snapchat filter where it's like Shrek is kissing his head. All that. Like. He posts about Shrek a lot, as I understand.

[Ryan]

Yeah, he posts a lot about Shrek. He posts a lot about. He, you know, he'll. He'll do things like this. He drinks a lot of water and his teammates make fun of him for it because they'll go out and like, drink beers and he's just drinking water.

[Jason]

That's a big fish.

[Ryan]

It's a big. Exactly. Big fish need water. Big fish need water. So they'll make fun of him for that. And he's like, yeah, you guys, you guys don't make fun of me when I score all the goals for this team. And they're like. Because it's true. Also, if you watch him play, he scores the most direct, no frills, 100% diesel powered goals you've ever seen in your life. The second goal that he scored to knock out Brazil, he's just, he's. He gets a run up to it and plants like he's kicking a field goal and it touched nothing. Like, it blasted through a player's legs. It went right past the goalie and no one had anything to say about it. Go watch if you can. Videos of him trying videos of him hitting the crossbar in practice. It sounds like somebody hitting a timpani. It's. It's nuts how strong he is. Yeah. Also delightful human being. So I'm. I'm persuaded to be like, you know, I support, I'm sympathetic. Shouts out to follower Hakon Gledish, who evidently is a longtime follower of the show and us and who is a Norway fan who wants us on his side. So we're at least this much on your side, but like, that much.

[Andy]

Yeah, I like Morocco is appealing. And if someone meet asked me to describe, like, their play style and all that, I would not pretend I know any of it. I would just say, like, that seems cool. Pretty much the same for Norway. They do have the big guy. I recognize him. And like, you know, they, they do like the Viking searing stuff. And like, I'm telling you, man, that is roughly the extent of my knowledge. France is really good, but I'd fuck that shit. Also, Norway is playing England. That's the main thing.

[Ryan]

I have a selling point for you on Norway. Go look at their expected goals versus their actual goals, like, based on a statistical mishmash to estimate how many goals you should have by chances. Expected goals versus actual goals for Norway is so far off the Charts, because it looks like, like Norway, it's like, yeah, you should have had, like, 0.6 goals and it's like three all by Holland. Like, they. They are the thriftiest team. They have no chances made, and they get the most points out of it. Yeah. Agreed on. All right. I respect the take on France. I like France too much to ever totally not root against them. I like them a lot. I just like their players. Their players are awesome.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, it's like, It. I guess it would feel like rooting for. I mean, it's. It. There's the thing where it's like, oh, it's so beautiful. I want. I want to watch and appreciate it, and that's fine. But I'm not going to get invested in whether they win or not. You know what I mean? Like, if they're in the final, great. The final will be awesome. I am going to have zero emotional investment in it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And Bobby came close to getting France one last time around before Argentina won. There's one big elephant in the room, though, that we haven't addressed. And it's not Colombia, Switzerland. It's the fact that it might come home.

[Andy]

That is.

[Ryan]

It's. It might.

[Jason]

Thank you.

[Ryan]

It might come home.

[Andy]

No, I would.

[Jason]

Not yet.

[Andy]

I mean, it might.

[Jason]

A lot of things might.

[Andy]

It might. It just won't.

[Ryan]

It might come home.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah, it might.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But no, it could.

[Jason]

Because it could.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, there's. There are. By the time listeners hear this, there will be eight teams remaining, and that'll be one of them. So it could. Yeah, could.

[Ryan]

I'm telling you, it might come home.

[Jason]

Well, there. Okay, there is no. That's not a judgment. Of course it might.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You're saying. You're saying that it is possible, as though you have rendered some sort of great analysis.

[Andy]

They are eligible to win, Jason.

[Jason]

One of these teams is going to win this game and the other will almost certainly lose.

[Andy]

It'll be interesting to see who wins.

[Ryan]

We've crossed an important Rubicon here, and I'm going to let you in on this.

[Jason]

That's also not what Rubicon means.

[Ryan]

It's that we are now at the point where the joke that England fans themselves started that we use for its coming home the World cup, which England has not won since 1966. Now, it is now past the past. The irony wall that the English have put up to defend themselves from the idea of hope.

[Jason]

Oh, this just feels like 98. I get it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But for real. But for real.

[Spencer Hall]

What the fuck do you mean, for real.

[Ryan]

Okay? So you're past it too. Okay? You understand?

[Jason]

I'm on rainbow road. You can't hurt me.