Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Episode: Revelry and Real Talk with Goldie Hawn & Mel Robbins: Part 1

Release Date: November 3, 2025
Guests: Goldie Hawn, Mel Robbins
Host(s): Oliver Hudson (Kate Hudson present but less active in content sections)

Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Oliver Hudson sits down with his mother Goldie Hawn and renowned motivational speaker & author Mel Robbins for a deep dive into generational parenting styles, the complexities of anxiety, and the evolving understanding of resilience and self-improvement. Through personal anecdotes and actionable insights, the trio explores how family dynamics, empathy, and modern psychology intersect—not only shedding light on their own familial quirks but also offering advice that listeners can take into their own lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Empathy, Boundaries, and Parental Control

(Starts at ~04:52)

• Goldie Hawn raises the subject of empathy and the impulse to "fix" loved ones, referencing Mel Robbins’ work on mindset shifts.
  • Goldie asks Mel, “Were you an empathetic child?”
  • Mel Robbins: “I think so. Highly so. I think I absorbed everybody’s feelings. I feel like sometimes being deeply empathetic is both a gift and a curse, because you can feel everything...” (05:58)
• The group reflects on how being “deeply empathetic” can lead to over-responsibility for others’ emotions and challenges, often manifesting as over-parenting or control.
  • Goldie: "There are things you can't fix... it's important in your life to have that mindset." (06:39)

2. Helicopter Parents vs. Resilient Kids

(~08:16)

• Goldie shares a story about hiring a chef to bring Oliver food in college—much to his surprise and embarrassment.
  • Oliver: “There was a knock at my door, and... this woman says, ‘Your mom has hired me to bring you food.’” (09:02)
• The hosts discuss how modern parenting often leans toward "over-helping" compared to their childhood, which allowed for more freedom and, as Mel notes, greater resilience.
  • Mel Robbins: “I think a lot of that over parenting comes from this fundamental need to be in control... The sad part is your kid is probably more resilient and smarter and more capable than you are treating them.” (11:56)
• Mel shares a personal parenting mistake about accommodating her daughter’s anxiety after a traumatic experience, realizing that over-nurturing can entrench fears rather than resolve them.
  • “By allowing her to opt out, I actually made the fear way worse. Like, it became an issue for years and years…” (15:16)

3. Changing Our Approach to Anxiety

(~21:42)

• Oliver opens up about his lifelong struggle with anxiety, the physical symptoms tied to it, and his pathway to management.
  • “It’s something I’ve dealt with… I’ve made a relationship with my anxiety so it doesn’t take me over anymore. I understand it. Whereas before I thought I was dying.” (22:00)
• Mel and Goldie discuss how anxiety often manifests physically—especially in the stomach—triggering cycles of avoidance and escalation.
  • Mel Robbins: “The fear of throwing up is the number one fear that kids have because it’s this moment of a complete loss of control.” (24:26)
• Mel provides a neuroscience-informed reframe: the physical sensations we interpret as danger are often the body’s way of preparing us for action, not signals of impending doom.
  • “Those butterflies are not a sign that anything’s about to go wrong. It’s a sign that your chemistry is changing to help you be able to focus or run or do the thing you need to do.” (27:13)

4. Practical Cognitive Tools for Anxious Moments

(~29:10)

• Mel shares an actionable strategy:
  • When nerves hit, start saying, “I’m so excited to do this…” to your brain. Research shows this shifts the physiological response from threat to anticipation, improving executive functioning.*
• Goldie expands: the act of smiling—even if you don’t feel it—tricks your brain into a more positive state. Language and body cues matter.
  • “If you smile and you don’t feel like it, your brain thinks you’re happier. It’s just an act, a physical act, a choice that I choose to smile… Interesting how it helps the brain.” (29:44)
• Another practical tip via Olympic coach Steve Magnus:
  • Get control over nausea-induced anxiety by scheduling it: “Name the time you’re going to throw up.” This gives back a sense of agency, breaking the cycle.
    • “And it removed the urge to throw up. By naming the time, she all of a sudden felt in control of when it would happen and then suddenly didn’t need to do it.” (32:53)
• Goldie connects this to parenting hacks like “hiccup on command,” showing that shifting mental focus can break physical habits.

5. Healing from Trauma & Changing Self-Perceptions

(~38:09)

• The group acknowledges that unlearning ingrained behaviors and thought patterns takes active effort (“grit”), but it’s possible—healing doesn’t need to take as long as the hurt.
  • Mel Robbins: “It’s not that we don’t know what we could be doing, it’s that we wait until we feel like doing it… When you want your life to get better, it begins with you deciding that how your life feels, how it’s going right now, just no longer works for you.” (39:09)
• Goldie highlights the need to teach people to see themselves as adaptable, not as stuck.
  • “No, it’s not. It’s the way you think you are. But it’s not the way you are.” (48:52)
• Mel further distinguishes between the persistence of traumatic memories and the possibility for new processing—citing modalities like EMDR and even supported psychedelics.
  • “Just because you endured something for a very long period of time doesn’t mean it has to take you that long to heal it.” (47:50)

6. The Let Them Theory: Letting Go for More Peace

(~44:23)

• Mel explains her “Let Them Theory” as a shortcut to more peace and less stress:
  • “It is the fastest way to feel less stressed, to be more in control, to have more peace in your life, is to stop trying to control what other people think, say, do, believe—and let them be. And then, take your power back and focus on yourself.” (44:23)
• This reflects ancient wisdom (Viktor Frankl, the Serenity Prayer) while also being a concrete tool for daily life.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Goldie Hawn: “You want to make everything nice for your children, but you can’t do everything for them. You don’t want to. You shouldn’t.” (~09:38)
• Oliver Hudson: “When we were kids…it was like, take whatever rolls on a wheel and get the fuck out of here… There was just more freedom then… We could make more mistakes.” (~09:52)
• Mel Robbins: “I thought that love meant control and change… And the fact is it has the exact opposite effect.” (12:01)
• Oliver Hudson: “I couldn’t leave the house without throwing up… I was trying to be an actor… There was a lot of sort of unconscious pressure I was putting on myself.” (23:02–23:21)
• Mel Robbins: “You can make a decision to say to yourself, ‘This just no longer works for my life to work to feel like this.’ And that decision is what begins the change.” (40:09)
• Goldie Hawn: “You’re not sick. You’re just thinking in the wrong way. Let’s think differently.” (41:31)
• Mel Robbins: “If you didn’t talk yourself into the trauma, you can’t talk yourself out of it… But you can process it differently so you’re not defined by it.” (44:54, condensed from 44:52–47:50)
• Goldie Hawn: “No, it’s not [who you are]. It’s the way you think you are. But it’s not the way you are. And there’s definitely fluidity of understanding that you don’t have to stay with who you perceive yourself to be.” (48:52)

Notable Timestamps

• 05:58 Mel Robbins on the double-edged sword of empathy
• 09:02 Oliver’s story: surprise chef at college door
• 15:16 Mel describes a crucial parenting mistake with her daughter’s anxiety
• 21:42 Oliver on his lifelong anxiety and its physical symptoms
• 24:26 Mel: Fear of throwing up is kids’ #1 fear after parental loss
• 27:13 Mel explains the ‘butterflies’ as evolutionary readiness, not a warning
• 29:10 Mel's brain hack: saying "I'm excited" to reframe nerves
• 32:53 The “name your throw-up time” tool for performance anxiety
• 39:09 Mel on the importance of decision as the first step to change
• 44:23 Mel breaks down the “Let Them Theory”
• 47:50 Mel: Healing trauma doesn’t have to take as long as the pain

Tone and Style

The episode is warm, humorous, and self-deprecating. Oliver and Goldie share personal foibles with affection, and Mel Robbins offers clarity and actionable advice with enthusiasm and compassion. The chemistry between Goldie and Mel is a highlight, with Oliver playfully noting being "excluded" by their instant connection.

Summary Takeaways

• Helicopter parenting is born out of parental anxiety, not necessarily kids’ needs.
• Children’s resilience is often underestimated; over-involvement can reinforce helplessness.
• Anxiety manifests in the body; understanding its evolutionary purpose can help decatastrophize it.
• Simple, intentional self-talk (reframing nerves as excitement) and taking back agency (naming anxious moments) are powerful, research-backed tools.
• Healing from trauma and ingrained patterns is possible and may take less time than you fear—especially if you’re open to changing the internal narrative.
• Letting go of controlling others—'Let Them'—is both liberating and empowering.

Looking Ahead

The chemistry and insight-packed conversation “could have gone on for hours,” as Oliver notes—they even announce a forthcoming Part 2 to dig deeper into these topics with Mel Robbins.

End of Content Summary (Part 1)