The One About Dystopia

Summary

Sibling Rivalry — "The One About Dystopia"

Release Date: November 17, 2025
Hosts: Bob the Drag Queen & Monét X Change (plus Producer Jacob)

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Episode Overview

In "The One About Dystopia," Bob the Drag Queen and Monét X Change, the razor-sharp comedic duo, dive into an animated discussion about dystopian futures, personal survival strategies (or lack thereof), gun laws, NYC childhood, etiquette, and wild stories from their pasts. Amidst classic Sibling Rivalry back-and-forths, they muse about their abilities (or willingness) to endure a post-apocalyptic world, reminisce about New York drag nightlife, dissect etiquette and social class, and share personal tales both silly and heartfelt. Longtime producer Jacob and recurring background voices help fuel tangents, games, and etiquette quizzes.

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Major Discussion Points and Insights

1. Surviving the Dystopia: Guns, "Bug-Out Bags," and Apocalypse Plans

• Guns and Safety
  • The hosts debate American gun culture, especially in Texas and New York.
  • Bob is anti-gun, challenging the "good guy with a gun" trope.
    • "I don't think that if everyone having a gun is going to make the situation better." (05:08, Bob)
  • Monét expresses anxiety as the only unarmed neighbor and a desire to at least feel safer.
    • "I would feel safer if everyone around me has a gun." (04:15, Monét)
• Bug-Out Bag Preparation
  • Monét describes Andy's detailed bug-out bag for post-apocalypse survival (solar chargers, portable stove, N95 masks, condensed soap, etc.).
    • "A bug-out bag should have a portable water filtration system, collapsible water bottle...like a spork." (06:14, Monét)
  • Bob is totally unprepared and unserious about doomsday scenarios.
    • "I don't want to live like that. If there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm done. I'm not fighting." (08:03, Bob)

2. Which Dystopia Would You Survive?

• The trio debates which pop culture dystopias they'd tolerate or tap out of:
  • I Am Legend: Bob is a firm "no" to living isolated with zombies (09:53, Bob).
  • Mad Max/Snowpiercer: Bob would use charm to climb social classes ("I'll be the mayor by the end!" (10:21, Bob)) but refuses any scenario requiring silence (A Quiet Place, Bird Box).
  • The Hunger Games: The hosts and Jacob draw fictional districts:
    • Bob gets District 11 ("I'm probably farming..." (13:05, Bob)); Monét gets District 4 ("Fish. Your girl is fish, honey!" (13:22, Monét)).

3. Early Jobs & Manager Antics

• Bob recalls hiding savings in a thermos at Ruby Tuesday at 18—only to be emotionally manipulated by a manager into handing it over.
  • "He was like, I would like for you to give me your money." (15:44, Bob)
  • Bob reflects on the lack of greed and his continued ability to save.
  • The story shifts to manager Sandy, who let people think she was a lesbian for workplace respect (21:14).
    • "She let everyone think I’m gay because they respect me more." (22:05, Sandy via Bob)

4. Etiquette Wars & Class Clashes

• The group quizzes each other on table manners and etiquette, with Bob emphasizing his “butler” training.
  • Competitions include where the salad fork goes, the cake fork, excusing oneself from the table, and how to handle dropped utensils.
  • "You don't just get up and leave." (47:48, Bob)
  • Monét boasts of her frequent sheet changes and questions Bob’s housekeeping habits; Bob reveals he doesn't do his own sheets.

5. NYC Nostalgia, Class, and Social Status

• Bob and Monét reminisce about New York City housing, who actually owns homes, and the realities of class in their communities.
  • "Everyone in your social class has a housekeeper." (34:59, Bob)
• They sketch the vibe of growing up in New York, dangers of school let-out hour, and the toughness (and shading) of NYC kids:
  • "I would rather walk through the Bronx at 3am... than ride the train at 3:15pm." (54:08, Bob)
• Names from NYC drag nightlife and personal histories drop throughout, with personal stories about gigs, family, and drag friendships.

6. Drag Race Tangents and Who Would Slay in Royale

• They riff on Drag Race “Royale” casts and players (e.g., wanting Violet Chachki, Ginger Minj, Olivia Lux in a "Latino Royale"), and roast one another over alleged drag queen exes, game nights, and show appearances.

7. Personal Kinks and (Non-)Shaming Discourse

• The hosts get candid about fetishes, especially praise vs. shame kinks.
  • Monét: "If I'm sucking your dick, I don't want you to shame me, I want you to… be like, ‘bitch, you fucking sucking that dick!’" (28:39, Monét)
  • Discussion includes a brief educational note on rosebud porn and fetishes for praise, shaming, and the urge not to king-shame (unless king-shaming is the kink).

8. Wig Malfunctions & Set-life Chaos

• Bob describes the perils of sweating through a drag wig on set (Lucifer, The Coco Von Dew Show), dragging his assistants and co-stars for not warning him about an askew lacefront.
• The pair laugh about disastrous quick-drags, period piece makeup ("the makeup they made y'all do for Lovecraft Country was criminal" (63:44, Bob)), and the indignities of on-camera drag compared to fully realized live gigs.

9. Housekeeping, Sheet Changes, and The Help

• A classic Sibling Rivalry moment: a (fake) spat about frequency of sheet washing.
  • Bob: “I don’t wash my own sheets.” (65:40, Bob)
  • Monét: “Must be nice.” (65:55, Monét)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dystopia Survival:
  Bob: “If there’s a zombie apocalypse, I’m done. I’m not fighting. I’m not gonna try to live through it.” [08:03]
  Monét: “I’m fighting for my life.” [09:22]

• On Gun Culture:
  Bob: “I don’t think that if everyone having a gun is going to make the situation better.” [05:08]

• On Feeling Safe vs. Being Safe:
  Monét: “I didn’t say safe. I said feel better. You know what, My feeling is very valid here.” [05:38]

• On School Let-Out in NYC:
  Bob: “I would rather walk through the Bronx at 3am with a suit made of hundred-dollar bills, than ride the train at 3:15.” [54:08]

• On Wig Disasters:
  Bob: "If you look at this thing...my wig is like--it's like my hairline is going back, front, front, back, back, front..." [61:25]

• On Etiquette:
  Bob: “I would tend to the needs of our guests...my name was Mortimer Grimm, and I was a butler who went to a school called Connecticut Etiquette." [46:59]

• On Being Out of Touch:
  Bob: “I know how out of touch we sound. Yeah, we are. Okay.” [62:54]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Quote | |--------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 01:00 | “I don’t want to live in that world.” (Bob, guns/apocalypse) | | 04:08 | Neighborhood gun ownership, protection debate | | 06:11 | Explaining a “bug-out bag” | | 08:03 | Bob refuses to survive zombie apocalypse | | 10:21 | “I can work my way up...I can use my influence. Maybe I’ll be the mayor by the end.” (Bob, on dystopian train society) | | 13:00 | Hunger Games district assignments | | 15:44 | The Ruby Tuesday manager/money story | | 21:14 | Sandy the manager, workplace respect & gay stereotypes| | 28:47 | Praise kink vs. shame kink explanation | | 34:59 | “Everyone in your social class has a housekeeper.” (Bob)| | 43:32 | Ongoing Ginger Minj “beef” (lighthearted teasing) | | 47:48 | Table etiquette: “You don’t just get up and leave.” (Bob)| | 54:08 | “I would rather walk through the Bronx at 3am... than ride the train at 3:15pm.” (Bob, NYC kids)| | 61:25 | Wig-slipping set story | | 65:40 | “I don’t wash my own sheets.” (Bob) |

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Podcast Tone and Style

• Highly conversational, irreverent, and honest.
• Bob is dry, droll, and hyperbolic; Monét is energetic, cheeky, and matter-of-fact.
• In-jokes and shade are constant, though interspersed with surprisingly vulnerable or sincere details.

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Final Thoughts

This episode perfectly encapsulates Sibling Rivalry’s signature blend of comedy, drag wisdom, pop culture references, and real talk about survival and class—even while making fun of themselves. Fans hungry for Bob and Monét’s wild stories, peer banter, and snappy debates will find this episode an all-you-can-eat buffet of Sibling Rivalry magic.

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For More

• For bonus episodes (“Exception Eventary”), the duo’s Patreon gets several plugs throughout the show.
• Check out their website or “Google Sibling Rivalry Patreon” for extra content.

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Ads, sponsor shoutouts, and other non-content sections have been omitted for clarity.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

My name is Bob the Drag Queen.

[C]

And I'm Monet X Change.

[D]

And this is simply rivalry.

[C]

On this week's episode, Bob dies in the zombie apocalypse.

[D]

We arrest New York City children.

[C]

And we find out what made Bob say this.

[D]

I don't want to live in that world. And we found out what made Monet say this.

[C]

How do you think she feels? So we're talking about guns. And can you give some context? Patty was. I mean, you were asking, you were asking Taylor if he could take a gun apart right now.

[D]

Yeah. And he said yes. No, he said, he said, I know. He said, I know how to use a gun. I think. Could you remove the clip from a gun?

[C]

He was like, easily.

[D]

He's like, with ease.

[C]

And you've never, you've never held a gun before?

[D]

I've never held a real gun in my life.

[C]

I have. So Andy and I went to a gun range here in la and we went to a gun range. But when I was doing Death Drop in the UK and we had an actual, actual, like, the weight was a revolver, the one with a long barrel.

[D]

A revolver is the one that goes.

[C]

Yeah, it was that. And then the scene, my. My character goes crazy at the end and she's a really bad guy. And then. So in one of the days, I was like, really. In the scene. I was like, really liking the things. I took the gun and I was.

[D]

Like, why do you think I'm crazy, bitch?

[C]

And I just start bleeding, blood pouring down my face.

[D]

Well, because my. That's why they thought you were crazy.

[C]

I had my hat on and I was like, my head feels weird. And then I was like doing, doing the scene and someone goes, oh, my God. And I was like, what? And like, girl, I touched my head and blood was screaming on my face. I don't think Patty was in rehearsal, but we. He had to come get. Or whatever it was. It was crazy.

[D]

I really went wild during the Madonna tour. I Had those very long twin.

[C]

When you're the clown.

[D]

Yes. And they are, they are like, they are basically real guns minus one or two things. And they're so realistic that you actually can't travel internationally with them. So if you saw me in Europe I had these 3D printed guns with wood on the end. And if some in America I had these like, like basically real guns.

[C]

Well, New York City has a gun law.

[D]

If you, if you, you can't paint any. You can't make a fake gun look real or real gun look fake.

[C]

Right. So I saw you said a lot of fake guns or ones that's supposed to be realistic. They have the whole thing. But the tip would be like an orange thing on the tip.

[D]

But you can't paint that orange tip black. That's what we mean.

[C]

Right. So is it only New York that has this, this law?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I just know because I live in.

[D]

I don't think Texas has any gun law. They're like, you can any age, any height, anything, any gun. You want a rocket launcher, have one. Kindergartener wants a grenade, have one.

[C]

Well, you know, that's what he said. Those pictures of those like families who like, you know, they hunt and stuff and they have like just a fucking artillery of like 50 guns. Like, what the fuck do you need 50 guns for?

[D]

You want a gun?

[C]

I would. Well, that's cause everyone around me has a gun.

[D]

So like, I feel like when I mentioned that every one of your neighbor has a gun, you act like I was crazy.

[C]

No, but I said it was funny.

[D]

I was like, bitch, you live. I was like, all your neighbors have guns. And you were like, but I've said that before. But when I said you're like I was crazy.

[C]

No, I didn't. I said the people on either side of me and across the street, they all have guns. When we had that person.

[D]

So you trying to get guns to protect yourself from them?

[C]

No, but like I'm like, if shit goes down, Annie and I just, just everybody got guns. We just sitting there looking like, yeah.

[D]

I don't think more guns is, is going to make it. But I think, I don't think that if everyone having a gun is going to make the situation better.

[C]

Well, I, I, I would feel safer if everyone around me has a gun to me and goes down me. And you're sitting there like, guys, we're sorry.

[D]

Can I just say I think that's a really bad take. And I think that that's basically being like a good guy with a gun. Can stop a bad guy with a gun. That's like saying, give the teachers guns. Every teacher just needs a gun.

[C]

To be very clear, I think we should get rid of. I think everyone should get rid of their guns. We're in a world where they're going to have the wrong.

[D]

What? I just don't think that the ends like so if, if the people. Do you trust your neighbors on both sides? Yeah, yeah. I mean the one across the street.

[C]

I trust the one on one side across the street, the other one on the other side. I don't not trust them. But I'm in community and I chat with the other ones.

[D]

So they've probably had guns longer than you.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[D]

They probably know what they're doing. So what is your. No shade. Let me just. What's your inexperienced ass gonna do with this gun? Like these two, they have this gun. They probably have taken gun safety courses. And you're just sitting here, you're like, well, now I just got one.

[C]

Yeah, you think, no, I want to go to a thing to learn how to shoot it. And do they have more experience than you? Yeah, but the same. But I would still like to go and get the experience of like going to a gun range. Know how to shoot, know how to load all the things. I wouldn't just. I wouldn't just go to the store and get a gun and come home and put it like, okay, I have a gun now. No, sure.

[D]

But I just don't think everyone having a gun is gonna make it better. Just be like, well, now I got a gun too.

[C]

I don't think it makes anything better. It will make me feel better.

[D]

But it, But I don't think it's actually gonna make you safer though.

[C]

I didn't say safe. I said feel better. You know what, My feeling is very valid here.

[D]

More importantly, your safety.

[C]

Yeah, my feeling. I need to feel safe.

[D]

But you have to be safe too.

[C]

But in what world am I gonna be having a shootout with my neighbors girls?

[D]

20, 25, bitch. We about to have the Civil War. Are you ready for the Civil War?

[C]

You know, Andy is really on this. He wants to start a bug out bag, which I think is a bug out bag. Yeah. So like in case whatever happens we. The grid is crushed and there's a biochemical whatever. We have a bug out bag can.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

With enough meals.

[D]

Thank you. So you got to say what the. You keep saying bug out bag.

[C]

Yes, it has like, you know, solar chargers, enough meals for a year. Like all stuff is like, this is a Contest a comprehension bug out Porter. So some things that a bug out about. A bug out bag should have portable water filtration system, collapsible water bottle, portable stove, a fire starter, waterproof matches, multi utensil. Like a spork.

[D]

I don't want to live like that.

[C]

I mean, in a world like if shit goes down. Sunscreen, N95 masks. Remember when the N95 masks were really kind?

[D]

I have. So you and Jacob and Camion took all of mine. No, we did not.

[C]

Yes. When you. When it was. When it was the smoke thing. When it was the fires in LA in January. Y' all stayed at my place. I'll tell you to get to get in the drag garage. Y' all cleared me out. Y' all cleared me out of my N95 mask.

[E]

And we do it again.

[D]

I was like, yeah, just go in.

[C]

The garage and get the N95 mask. I came back, the box was sitting.

[D]

On the thing empty.

[E]

Do you want us to Venmo you $5?

[C]

$5, honey, those will do. A black cunt and 95 masks. I need $25.

[D]

You're never getting money back. You're never gonna get that money back, bitch.

[C]

I will take $25 worth of shit in here.

[D]

I dare you.

[C]

I will.

[D]

I dare you.

[C]

I still got that pillow out my house.

[D]

I dare you.

[C]

Still got the pillow.

[D]

And you.

[B]

And how.

[D]

What was that time you looked around your house? You don't even know what I have from your house.

[C]

You have nothing of mine.

[D]

You have no clue.

[C]

Except those dresses that you stole.

[D]

I don't know what those dusty, crusty, raggedy ass dresses. No shade Goodoy.

[C]

What is a condensed soap?

[D]

I'm assuming it is. Wait, wait. I'm assuming it's like concentrated soap. Maybe. Or maybe like, it's like. It's like a bar of soap, but they smush it down so it lasts longer. I'm assuming.

[C]

Condensed soap.

[D]

Yes. Like concentrated soap, I reckon.

[C]

Huh. Interesting.

[D]

I don't. I don't want to live this way. I got to be honest. Like, if there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm done. I'm not fighting. I'm not gonna try to live through it. I'm. If the Titanic is going down, I'm just jumping in the water.

[C]

So in fight or flight? You're neither.

[D]

Neither.

[C]

You die.

[D]

It depends on what it is. If it's like, let's say I'm in a school shooter situation, I'm going to run for safety. But if, like the world, it's like, this is Life now. Maybe. Okay, maybe Titanic. I'm like, I would. I would try to live through Titanic. I'm like, I can probably get on the other side of this, but if, like, the grid is shut down and for the next 40 years, we're all living in some weird dystopian future, I don't want to live in that world.

[C]

I think. I don't think anyone wants to live like that. But the fact of the matter is, it will be your reality.

[D]

No, but I will choose to just die.

[C]

Yes, I think you saying that now. Think if so. So you would just stay in your house, let the zombies come and eat you, and just. Just, just go, oh, if there are.

[D]

Zombies, when I tell you, I wouldn't even run.

[C]

And do you know what would you. What? You. What you would need What?

[D]

No, I wouldn't, girl, eat me. I'm not fighting zombies.

[C]

I'm fighting for my life.

[D]

I'm not. Because what do you.

[C]

What.

[D]

Here's the thing. Let's say you fight for three years.

[C]

That's. You got three more years of life.

[D]

Three years of struggle.

[C]

So that is part of the human condition. We're all struggling a little bit.

[D]

Not like that. I know, but that's a whole different form of struggle.

[C]

Human condition, girl.

[D]

No, I can't. I can't. Yo. I can't. I can't. It's. The idea of it is stressing me out so much. Think about fudgeing, girl. What's that movie with Will Smith?

[C]

I am. I am Legend, baby.

[D]

I can't live like that.

[C]

I mean, that was a crazy.

[E]

What about Mad Max?

[C]

What's Mad Max?

[D]

No, I don't want to live like.

[E]

Charlize Theron and the desert.

[D]

No, I can't live like a.

[C]

28 days. Not. Not 28. The one with Jake Gyllenhaal when they had that crazy storm in Manhattan.

[E]

None of these a snow piercer. You're all in a giant train. And each train car is a different class. So the poor people in the back and then all the rich people. And you have to work your way up.

[D]

Oh, I can work my way up. Oh, I can use my influence. Maybe I will be.

[E]

Everyone in humanity is on this one train.

[D]

Oh, baby, I'll be the mayor by the end.

[C]

Oh, the day after tomorrow when it's a big cyclone comes and it, like, freezes Manhattan.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we.

[D]

Is there a way to get off Manhattan then eventually get to some place nice? Or is this just like. Or is this just life now?

[C]

I don't remember How?

[D]

The movie. No, no, no, no, no. It.

[C]

Eventually, it will melt. It's a. It's a freak weather accident.

[D]

How long is it gonna be like this?

[C]

I mean, water. I would say, let's say five years.

[D]

Like, let's think about the movie with. With. With Lupita Nyong'.

[C]

O. The quiet place.

[D]

It's a rap.

[C]

I know you gotta be.

[D]

I can't. I don't. I can't. Because this is what I take me to. This is forever.

[C]

No, no.

[D]

What?

[E]

Bird box. You just gotta wear a blindfold.

[D]

Oh, I could. I could. I could do the blindfold. I could not look.

[C]

Well, you definitely couldn't do a quiet place. You won't shut the up.

[D]

I don't want to do a quiet place.

[C]

You're dying immediately.

[D]

I'll be up there singing, baby, where the hell is my husband? I would like a ring. I would like a ring. I would like a different ring. And they have them come and get me because it's.

[C]

Well, don't do it over there. Go do it outside. Don't do it in here.

[D]

Don't tell me where I can.

[C]

No. Because you had to kill all of us in here because you can't shut the up. That's crazy. So now we're all collateral damage because you can't shut the up.

[D]

You should have been around me. That's great.

[C]

I know.

[D]

I can't. Monet, you would live like that.

[C]

Okay?

[E]

Hunger Games.

[D]

I would thrive. Because I would.

[E]

Y'.

[D]

All, I'm telling you right now, in a world where there's, like, a. Like a class system, I'm making it to the top. But if it's a world where, like, everyone has to be quiet and you just gotta shut the fuck up and, like, the alien's gonna kill you, I'm not gonna make it. But if there's a way to gain influence and become live in the Capitol, I'm gonna become the host of the show. Primrose Aberdeen. I will become that guy.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

Easy.

[C]

No, not your black ass.

[D]

Oh, easy.

[C]

Nobody in the capital. That was black.

[D]

Lenny Kravitz.

[C]

I didn't. I don't remember the movie.

[D]

He was obviously.

[C]

What was he, the man?

[D]

He was the designer.

[E]

He was her stylist.

[D]

He was her stylist.

[C]

Got it.

[D]

So there were black people in the Capitol.

[C]

So Rob would do it. Taylor would be there, not you?

[D]

No, I would certainly be able. Let me tell right now. I. I wouldn't necessarily be a style, but.

[C]

You're colorblind.

[D]

There are Colorblind?

[C]

What are you styling?

[D]

There are colorblind stylists.

[C]

Not in the Capitol.

[D]

You don't know. You didn't even remember there were black people. So now you. Now you know everyone's okay.

[E]

We're going to do the Hunger Games District Generator and find out where you are.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

This is Bob's district.

[E]

Bob, you are in District 11.

[C]

Agriculture.

[D]

You don't even like. Oh, you. Easy.

[E]

That's second to last.

[D]

Oh, but, but, but listen. But, but in this place, I'm going to be that girl. I. I'm. I'm probably farming, like, you know.

[E]

You know, rude.

[D]

The little girl.

[C]

Wait, what. What. What am I?

[E]

You know, the little girl who dies and she's from District 11.

[D]

Okay. I could be in that.

[C]

What district? Am.

[E]

Are. District 4. Fishing.

[C]

Finic.

[E]

Odair.

[D]

Honey.

[C]

Fish. Your girl is fish, honey? Yes.

[D]

District four. That's good, right? Yeah.

[E]

That's where f. You know, the guy with the spear.

[C]

Oh, yeah. See that?

[E]

He's from District 4.

[C]

It's nice in District 4 over here.

[D]

I'm going tell that happening one time when I was younger.

[C]

What?

[D]

And I want to tell. Tell me how you would react to this.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[D]

When do I have time. Do I have time for the break? For. Tell the story.

[E]

You got three minutes, but you take a break in the middle of the story.

[D]

I. When I was younger, like 19 or 18 years old, I worked at Ruby.

[C]

Tuesday 30 years ago.

[D]

Okay, not 30 years ago.

[E]

How many years ago?

[D]

20 something.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

No, 18. I was. It was 21 years ago, actually. Damn. 21 years ago, I worked at Ruby Tuesday in Columbus, Georgia. And I've always been good at. I'm trying now, y'. All. No matter what point in my life, I've always been very good at saving money. Always been good at saving money. So my rent was like 200amonth to live in this guest house.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

And I would make that in like, two shifts every Tuesday. Maybe three maybe. And I would do this thing during Christmas where I would take like, 50 of my pay and I would put it in this thermos, and I would hide the thermos in the manager's office, and the manager knew I was hiding in there. I was 18, okay? So I would sit down with the manager at the end of the shift, and I'd be like, oh, my God, I'm saving. I was like, you know, I always give too much information away. I'm like, I'm saving my money. So I'm like. I'm like, put this in there. And I was like, we're hiding this cup. Me and my manager are hiding my. My money cup. I ended up saving, like, 600, 700 bucks, and I'm ready to, like, go turn it out for Christmas, baby. The day before, like, maybe a few days before Christmas, I'm checking out with my manager. My manager's holding my thermos with all of my money in it, like, holding my Ruby Tuesday thermos. And he's like, hey, you know, I have kids, and, you know, Christmas is real tough and funds are low, and, you know, my wife works here, and I can't afford gifts for my kids. And you're nine. You're 18 years old. You're a college student. But he's, like, holding my money.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

And he's my boss, and he's like, I would like for you to give me your money.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

And I was like, well, he was like, what do you need? I was like, no, I don't need it. But I remember thinking, it is my money. But I've also never been super greedy. And I gave him my money. And I was thinking about it today on the way to work, I was telling Jake while, like, I gave that man my fucking money. And, like, I want my money back now.

[C]

You want the money back?

[D]

Yes, I want my money back.

[C]

Is this man still alive?

[D]

Probably. I mean, he was probably at the time, maybe, like, he was younger than I am now. He's probably either late 20s or maybe early 30s. And this is 21 years ago, so he's probably in his 50s or maybe 60s now.

[C]

What's his name?

[D]

Ask him. I don't remember his name. I only remember one of my manager's names. Her name was Sandy. And Sandy was. Was that bitch Sandy. Sandy was honestly a really smart lady. We all thought Sandy was a lesbian.

[C]

Because she let us.

[D]

Because she. No, she let us believe she was a lesbian because she said people. She said in the workspace, people respect lesbians more than they respect straight women. So she just let us be.

[C]

I think that's very true.

[D]

So she was like. She was like, I don't care. She goes. And then she also. I'll tell you more about Sandy when we get back because Sandy was kind of a brilliant manager.

[C]

Foreign.

[D]

Let's be real. This time of year is chaos. Whether your kids are out of school.

[B]

Family is visiting, or you're just trying.

[D]

To keep up with the packed holiday calendar, the last thing you want to.

[B]

Do is be standing in front of your fridge at 6pm wondering what am I gonna make for dinner?

[D]

This is why I have been leaning.

[B]

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And y'.

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Let me tell you right now, if it can make monat be a good cook, it can do it for anyone.

[C]

You're bugging because you know I'm a good cook. You're jealous for anyone.

[D]

If it can work for Mon, it could work for anyone. Okay. Now some nights I go to them with the oven ready trays when I.

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Just want to pop something in and forget it. Other times I try for that the culinary collection when I'm feeling a little bit fancy. And now we go and ram as exclusive recipes in the mix. I'm genuinely excited about dinner again. Plus, They've got over 30 meal options every week. They're super customizable for whatever diet or taste you're working with. Whether you're cooking for yourself, your partner, or a whole crew, Home Chef has got you covered. Oh, and it's affordable. Like actually affordable. On average, you're saving about 86 bucks a month on groceries.

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[F]

So let me be real with y'.

[C]

All.

[F]

A few years ago, I was in a tough spot where I felt really overwhelmed by some work stuff, really stressed out with some friendship stuff, some relationship stuff. It all felt like it was all happening at the same time. And your girl felt like she was drowning a little bit, but maybe not drowning, but like treading water, you know, and you know, that's when I finally got into therapy. I got into therapy and it really is something that changed my life.

[C]

And I wish, I wish there was.

[F]

Something like Rula when I was looking for therapy. And the reason why Rula stands out is that they're a healthcare company, not a subscription, not some vague techy thing. They connect you directly with licensed in network therapist and you give them your insurance info preferences, your goals, and then they match you with real providers who are available as soon as tomorrow. The average copay is only about $15 a session and sometimes less, depending on your plan. Y', all, this is therapy with no strings attached. That's therapy that works the system you're already working in. You catch that? Like, if your insurance covers your physical health, why wouldn't it cover your mental health too? It's all one body.

[C]

Hello.

[F]

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[D]

And I do want you guys to know if you would like to not experience that ad you just experienced, you don't have to. You can join our Patreon. You will never, ever get an ad.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Not even once.

[C]

Yeah. Way back to what you said about the lesbians and straight people. Women, I agree, I definitely respect. But I think it's because they're queer and I'm queer. I don't think. No, I think, I think straight people respect lesbians more than straight women too.

[D]

It's because they're this. Because of their masculinity.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So Sandy would dress. Sandy would this one. First of all, Sandy only wore men's clothing. Sandy was also about 5, 11. She had bangs, long blonde hair, but it was kind of a little fried. She never wore makeup. She had a pretty deep voice. And she literally only wore men's clothes. Never wore women's clothes ever. So when Sandy's husband and children showed up, we were like, who the fuck is this? This your brother and his kids?

[C]

This is at Ruby Tuesday.

[D]

Yeah. And she. This is my husband. And she put me to the back. She was Like, I'm not. I'm not actually gay.

[C]

She was.

[D]

I just let everyone think I'm gay because they respect me more. They think I'm a lesbian.

[C]

Wow. And you're out of this sign. So she, like, confided in you?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She confided that she was straight?

[C]

Yeah. To you?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

But she didn't.

[D]

She went in. She went in.

[C]

In opposite. Like.

[D]

Yeah, she went in the closet. I don't even know how to say it.

[C]

Interesting.

[D]

And then she. She also would do this thing where she would be like. She was kind of a manipulative manager, but she actually was really smart. She would. This thing where she would call and she'd be like, I'm coming to shoot the general manager. I'm coming to the restaurant. She called the manager. I'm coming to the restaurant. So anyone who works restaurant knows when the manager comes, everyone kind of just straightens up. You just. You just do more. Yeah. She would never come.

[C]

Ooh. I mean, it's not smart. It's just.

[D]

I mean, it's kind of bris. She'd be like, I'm headed over. Or she would. Or she would pop up, and you wouldn't expect her to be there. So then you start trading up, and then she would sneak out, and she wouldn't. You would never know she left. So you would still think she was there. So she'd be like, I'm going to go to the office and, like, watch the. And, like, do some work and watch on the cameras. And you would think she'd be there for, like, an extra four hours before you realize she has been gone for, like, three, four hours.

[C]

When you had a regular job and you had to. And you had your day off, if your manager called you come in, would you go? Would you go in?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[C]

Like, every time.

[D]

I mean, in college. Yeah. Because I wanted money. So if I was a waiter, I. Baby, I picked up every shift. If anyone had an opportunity. If there was an opportunity for me to make some extra money as a waiter, I was the one. I was like, always call me.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I would always go in.

[D]

Always. I. I promise you. I. I mean, I didn't get priority because when I worked every Tuesday, I have. I work with, like, a lot of pregnant women. Like, a lot. I remember on. On Sunday, specifically, I was the only person working besides the bartender who wasn't pregnant front of house. How pregnant?

[C]

Yeah, like. Like, belly out here pregnant.

[D]

So.

[C]

Oh, you just knew they were pregnant.

[D]

There was a girl named Thereisha Thereisha was the host and she was not showing pregnant. There was Nikki whose birthday is 9 11. I remember that specifically. And she was like the most pregnant. Like she was like. I remember her carrying these two big buckets of ice with this gigantic belly. She was like a hardcore like Christian. No, just like a dark haired rednecky.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Like, but not like a race redneck. Kind of like one of those, like one of those southern white women who's like a wigger. No, no, I can't. I'm trying to describe it. She's like. She wasn't like get off my porch. But she was just like one of those mama bear types.

[C]

Mama, that's a lady from Thompson Tiaras.

[D]

No, mama bear is like, she just like if you touch her daughter, she will beat you up.

[C]

Got it.

[D]

Like she would like I could tell that if she.

[C]

Oh, the lady from the blind side.

[D]

If she got into a physical altercation with another white mom, she would beat her ass.

[C]

Have you seen the.

[D]

And then there was a woman who was about five months pregnant. So it was me and three pregnant women.

[C]

Have you seen the pregnant challenge on TikTok?

[D]

The pregnant challenge?

[C]

Well, not pregnant challenge. I guess it's a challenge. What it is is guys married to women who are having children, they take a watermelon like. Cause when the women are like their last month or whatever it is, they take a watermelon, you Sara, you saran, wrap it to your belly and you have to like go through your day to see how it feels to be pregnant. I'm like it, I guess. Yeah. That seems like she's like all the little things you think that you can do, like just bending down to pick up a thing on the floor, sleeping, whatever. It's all really hard. We should do it.

[D]

That's also. I mean I'm obviously never been pregnant, but I would imagine the bulk of the belly is probably the least of the uncomfortable things about being.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, but it is a. It is a.

[D]

You also do that and then you also have to take medicine to make you nauseous in the morning. Morning. And you also have to like, I don't know, get. Apparently there's like pain sometime. Really?

[C]

From. From.

[D]

No, like your just starts like your just starts hurting. Like apparently if you're pregnant out of nowhere your just like whoa.

[C]

So the other day I was on Twitter and I stumbled onto Rosebud porn. Have you seen Rosebud porn?

[D]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Glad we had this chat.

[C]

It's so like.

[D]

But you're the one who's like. But you're the one who's in the fisting.

[C]

I'm not. I'm not into fisting.

[D]

You have a whole special called Fist of Glory.

[C]

Yeah, but I'm not into fist.

[D]

And you were like, pow.

[C]

I told one time I fisted a guy.

[D]

You were into fist, saying it with zeal and vigor. You weren't like, I was grossed out. You were like, I was like, I.

[C]

Was not grossed out by it. But that's different than rosebud porn. Rosebud porn, like, a lot of the. Was just out of the body. And it's like, the one I saw.

[D]

It was like a good, like.

[C]

Like five inches out. I'm like, how do you get it back in?

[D]

You just gotta shove it back in.

[C]

Have you done this to someone before?

[D]

No. No, no.

[C]

Have you. Have you ever engaged in.

[D]

No.

[C]

Do you like rosebud porn?

[D]

No, not really.

[C]

No.

[D]

Actually, no.

[C]

Not at all. So you've never jerked off to it? No. Would you?

[D]

Probably not. No. There's. There's this. There's this thing, and I'm trying to remember what the. What the name of it is, but there is a sexual. Oh, sorry.

[C]

I said it to say because sometimes I think pregnant women get from, like, using the bathroom and trying to, like, get it out, they can give themselves, like, little rosebuds.

[D]

Got it. Like, okay, Got it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So there is a thing where people are attracted to innards.

[C]

Like, into, like, the rules. Like, seeing the innards. Is it seeing the innards out?

[D]

Yes. Or just seeing the innards at all. I mean, the only way you can see is if they're out.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Or if you cut someone open.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So this can also.

[C]

I think Dahmer had that kink.

[D]

There we go. You're picking up. So, Jeffrey Dahmer liked the wetness and the gooeyness of intestines, stomachs. I think that there. I'm not saying to anyone in that community, I'm not saying that you are.

[C]

Jeffrey, Tom.

[D]

Serial killers, but what I'm saying is there's something there. And I'm not a king. I would never. King shame. I would say no kink shaming. Unless your kink is.

[C]

Is shaving King shaming.

[D]

Exactly. Yeah.

[C]

Is that someone's Kings of shame? Kings.

[D]

That's a bit monet.

[C]

But if you're. But I mean, in this.

[D]

In the world. No. Shame is shaming people is.

[C]

I know shame, but is. Is kink shaming a kink? Like, specifically? I'm sure there is at some point.

[E]

I mean, it's a part of the shame kink.

[C]

Yeah, Got it.

[D]

Like, you shame someone. I mean, do you think you'd be more interested in shaming someone or being shamed? Oh, it.

[C]

It depends.

[D]

You dirty little slut. Does that do anything for you?

[C]

No, but if I'm not.

[D]

You were a dirty little slut, saying that. Would that do anything for you?

[C]

No.

[D]

Oh, well, then maybe you're not into it.

[C]

But if I'm sucking your dick, I don't want you to shame me. I want you to, like, I want to hear, but I guess that's not shaming then, because I want to hear, like, bitch, you fucking sucking that dick.

[D]

You have a praise kink.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I love being praised.

[D]

You like to be praised for.

[C]

Not really.

[D]

For doing a good job.

[C]

Specifically for sex. Well, like, for example, like, when.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Monetary.

[D]

I don't think the praise king goes into, like, wow, you really built that shelf. It can, baby. You cook them protein chips.

[C]

It can for someone.

[D]

Yeah, it can. But we're talking about. I'm talking about sex.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. But. Yeah.

[D]

Wow, baby, you really assembled that IKEA furniture.

[C]

I'm sure. So that's really hot to someone. When was the last time you assembled an IKEA furniture? When my lamp. I brought in my last apartment.

[D]

The last time I assembled something from IKEA was probably a month and a. Maybe a month ago. A month and a half ago. No.

[E]

Really good at anything you can do.

[D]

Me and Tao assembled a.

[C]

So Tao did it.

[D]

No, we did it together. Who did it? You were.

[C]

Bob.

[D]

We did it together.

[C]

He said just.

[D]

He did not say that. We assembled. And then we also assembled something that wasn't from ikea, but it was like this shoe. This shoe rack. Yeah.

[C]

I will wait till I get a bunch of those, and I'll call a task. Rabbit.

[D]

I will say there is one dresser in our closet, and it's the first thing we got from IKEA to assemble. And then we went back and got other stuff, and we've assembled everything except this one dress that's just been sitting in the closet.

[E]

Why haven't you assembled it?

[D]

I honestly don't know why. I think it's because it's in the closet and the other ones were, like, in the middle of the floor. It's like, well, we gotta put this together. But the other one's, like, you know, out of sight, out of mind. Right. Outside of mind is very much a thing.

[C]

So where are you putting the clothes that you brought the dresser for?

[D]

On hangers on the. In the closet.

[C]

Got It. So the box is just in the closet.

[D]

The whole dresser is in three boxes in the closet.

[C]

Right. Just sit in the closet. How big is this closet?

[D]

It's not very big. It's like a small coat closet.

[C]

We also have 18 places with your clothes.

[D]

Do you have 18 places?

[C]

One, two, three. Three. That's a lot of places for clothes.

[D]

It's a lot. It's. You're 15 off.

[C]

What?

[D]

15 off from 18. 15 off. 18.

[C]

What?

[D]

You said 18 places.

[C]

Oh, got it. Hilarious. Anyway, so that wasn't me being.

[D]

You're the one trying to make the joke. You got 18 places to put your clothes.

[C]

It wasn't the joke as a statement saying that you have a lot of places. A lot of. You have a lot of places for clothes and you're placing. Well, that's not your own place anymore. Never mind.

[D]

You mean my home that burned down in Atlanta, Georgia? Is that. Is that what you were about to say? Were you about to say and your burnt up crispy home in Atlanta, Georgia, that. Were you about to say?

[C]

I said your cooked home in Atlanta, Georgia.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

The fry.

[D]

What were you. What were you about to reference to that isn't there anymore? What, what was this place?

[C]

I was gonna say your place in New York, but you don't have a place yet when you do the show.

[D]

Oh, no, I don't live in New York.

[C]

Well, you will be for two months.

[D]

How long you gotta be somewhere for you to live there? Did I live in Berkeley?

[C]

No. You were there for what, six months?

[D]

Six months.

[C]

That's not living there, I don't think what's living there?

[D]

I've been in New York City for three months.

[C]

I would say a year.

[B]

One year.

[D]

Is living somewhere?

[C]

I think so when you're like. You're like, yeah, I live here now. Like, you, like, know, like you have like all your places you go to. To get food to doctors. I did in.

[D]

In Berkeley for six months. You think I went to the doctor for six months? No, I certainly went to the doctor.

[C]

Which I had to get to get to get checked out.

[D]

I had a whole vocal thing.

[C]

That was. That was when you were in Berkeley? Oh, yeah, Yeah, I went to the.

[D]

Doctor, like several times.

[C]

But you go to the dentist there. Did you. Did you?

[D]

I did get my teeth clean, yes. Okay. How often do you get your teeth clean?

[C]

I go every three months.

[D]

Yeah, I got my teeth clean. I was there for six months, Monet.

[C]

But that, that's not normal. Normally you go twice a year. I go every three Months. That's not a normal thing to do every three months.

[D]

I also. I ate. I had places to eat there, too. I ate almost every day, if you can believe it. I didn't go back to New York to grab my food.

[C]

Would you ever want to live in Berkeley again? SF is too cold. People message me like, girl, oh, it's so chilly up here in sf. I'm like, no, it was not.

[D]

I lived in New York City. It was not that cold. It was colder than you would expect it to be because of California. But, girl, I lived in New York City for 12 years. I lived in York City on the coldest winter in 100 years.

[C]

Which one was that?

[D]

2012, I want to say. Or maybe that was. I lived in the. Like, was it 2012?

[C]

No, the coldest one to ever was in 1970.

[D]

No, I said in 100 years. I didn't say ever.

[C]

Well, that would be 100 years. 2012 to 1917 will be 2017. So it would be 100 years.

[D]

What was the coldest one? I'm looking. But anyway, I live there. Or maybe the greatest snowfall. It was either the most amount of snow or the coldest. But, yeah, it was like.

[C]

It was so fucking shoveling snow. I hate shoveling snow. I don't want to shovel snow ever again in my life.

[D]

You shovel snowing? Oh, you had a house?

[C]

Yes. Fucking hate that shit, girl.

[D]

Whenever a lot of people from New York City own houses, I'd be like, this is crazy. You know why?

[C]

Why?

[D]

And you know why, too? Because most of us in New York City were renting. Yeah, but. But people like you.

[C]

But also, y' all didn't live. We're born there. Y' all weren't.

[D]

If you were born, not. Don't act like most New Yorkers who.

[C]

Live who were born the people who own houses there. Where we were born there. We lived there. Y' all were transplants. There are begging to live like us.

[D]

There are people who are born in New York City who cannot afford to.

[C]

I'm not saying that, but I'm saying the people. The two people that you know from New York, we were. We were.

[D]

I know more than two people from New York.

[C]

You know, like, born from New York.

[D]

I know a lot.

[C]

I'm asking you.

[E]

I know.

[D]

I'm asking you. Who. Wait. Be beat.

[C]

Move.

[D]

Do you think that you and Nate are the only two people I know who were born and raised in New York City?

[C]

I literally. I'm asking you who else?

[D]

I don't have to tell you who.

[C]

You know Kameka, she was born, then owned her home.

[D]

Well, you, you were part of the one percent. All your friends are wealthy. It's not part of one percent. All your friends are wealthy. Also.

[C]

The three New Yorkers you know born their own homes.

[D]

Monet. That's because you're in the community of wealthy people. Shut the up. Obviously.

[C]

So anyway, Monet's like, everyone.

[D]

How does it do you hear? Everyone I know owns a home. So who else?

[C]

Which New Yorkers do you know?

[D]

That was like. That was. This is like when Monet was like, everyone has a housekeeper.

[C]

Accent of St. Lucia.

[D]

And then I asked you, did your housekeeper have a housekeeper?

[C]

You didn't have an answer.

[D]

Maybe she did and you didn't have an answer. I said maybe when I was like, everybody has a housekeeper. Are you kidding me?

[C]

Me?

[D]

Everyone in your social class as a housekeeper.

[C]

When you can tell me other New Yorkers, you know, who were born there, then we can have a discussion. Were you Thorgy?

[D]

Thorgy and her family own their home in Long Island. You don't know if they own that home. Yes, she did go on her whole.

[C]

Special on, on, on the Logo channel.

[D]

I didn't, I didn't watch it. Let's take a break.

[B]

You ever check your balance and feel like you're getting hit from all sides?

[D]

I've been there.

[B]

I've dealt with the $35 overdraft fees on a four dollar coffee, the monthly maintenance fees that sneak up like rent.

[D]

And let's not even get into how.

[B]

Long some places take to actually pay you. And it all adds up and not in your favor. You know, when I was in college, I overdrafted on a pretzel from that pretzel shop at the mall. And that pretzel cost me like $65. I am still quaking from that. That's why I respect what Chime is doing. When you set up a direct deposit through Chime, you get access to a bunch of smart fee free features. You get paid up to two days early, which makes a huge difference when timing is tight. You also get free overdraft charge up to $200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals if you qualify. They've already spotted members over $30 billion total. And they've made everyday banking feel like it should. Simple, transparent, and on your side. No monthly fees, no minimums. And they've got over 47,000 fee free ATMs, which is more than the top three national banks combined. Yes, you heard that. Combined.

[D]

If this would have been around when.

[B]

I was younger, I would have never spent all that money on that pretzel and it would have saved me a lot of stress and a lot of fees. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in 2 [e-mail] rivalry that's chime.com rivalry chime feels like progress.

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[B]

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[C]

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Field. That's F, E E L D. And yes, it's pronounced like fyld. So here's a question for you, Roberta. What do you want?

[D]

I don't know. I want a lot of things.

[B]

I want happiness.

[D]

I want to be joyful.

[C]

Okay, well, on the dating app Feel, curiosity leads the way towards your intimacy, honey with others and honesty with yourself. Your desires, your interests, the space to grow and change. There's room for all of it at Feel, darling.

[D]

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[C]

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[B]

As long as you put that there.

[D]

You might find it. I mean, if Gordon. Maybe Gordon Rams is going to click on her. Field doesn't gatekeep connection. In a world where a lot of dating apps try to, you know, guide.

[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[C]

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[B]

And now missed connections is gone. So you'll never see.

[C]

I know. Also, Field offers 20 plus gender and sexuality identities. So wherever you identify or you want to explore, you're welcome here. No judgment, just curiosity.

[B]

And they recently added this awesome shared desires feature so you can instantly see what you and someone else have in common. No guessing, no pretending, just honest connection from the start.

[D]

Download field on the app store or Google Play. Yuha Yamasaki.

[C]

Yamasaki.

[D]

She.

[C]

I don't know. I don't know her family.

[D]

Well, she moved there when she was 6, but she's a New Yorker.

[C]

I mean, I don't know about you, Haas, you know more about u haul than me.

[D]

I'm gonna assume she was renting to help my case here.

[C]

You know my favorite story about you? Ha. You always tell about when she's just laughing at you guys had the same underwear on.

[D]

Yeah, it was a really crazy story.

[C]

She's a crazy person.

[D]

I didn't see.

[C]

I didn't see slays on Royale. Did she do well on that?

[D]

I don't know. I think it's still going on. No, I gotta. I saw what she did. Spoiler alert. Can you apologize to our guest for spoiler?

[C]

I guess Juha did okay.

[D]

She. I.

[E]

She came in sixth place.

[D]

Okay, that's not. That's.

[C]

That's good.

[D]

Good for you. Ha. So who won?

[C]

Uh, bridging.

[D]

Where's she from?

[C]

Brigadine.

[D]

Philippines. My Buhay. My Buhay.

[C]

Yeah. Honestly, missed opportunity to not have Joella on it. Maybe she was too soon. But no, they. Lydia Butthole Collins went right back. They should have had her on there.

[D]

Who?

[B]

Joella?

[D]

Yeah, I agree.

[C]

Don't forget the Ella.

[D]

And I never will forget it.

[C]

You know, I'll never forgive her for skipping out on that game night when we were all gonna meet her and she just. She ditched you. Me and Kim. I remember. Wow.

[D]

I remember. But then.

[C]

Are they doing a Latina Royale one? Oh, wow.

[D]

Who do you want to see?

[C]

Oh, I want to see. I don't think she'll go back.

[D]

And Peter.

[C]

Maybe she will. I'd love to see Valentino on there.

[E]

No, I mean, it's a Drag Race Mexico show, so she wouldn't go from a host of Drag Race Mexico.

[D]

Oh, I know. I want to go see there.

[C]

I want to see Ginger Minj.

[D]

She's Puerto Rican. She's what? She's Puerto Rican. Are you going to deny? Okay, I want the least. I want. I want Crystal Method. I want Ginger Midge. I want Delta. Word, nothing.

[C]

Delta look is very, very, very wrecking. Jesus Christ.

[D]

Who else can we put on this show?

[C]

I want. Oh, Viola Choki.

[D]

Violet Chachki.

[C]

That is a stretch.

[D]

Bianca Del Rio. I mean, Bianca looks very. She looks very Hispanic, but she's not like. She's not like. You know what I mean? Ooh, sorry. That just really sent me. Ooh. I really took up myself pink with that one.

[C]

But she's sweating over there.

[D]

Ooh. I am cooking Olivia Lux. Who? Olivia Lux is Latina, apparently.

[C]

Oh, wow. Good for her.

[D]

Honestly, Viola Chatsky would probably go and eat the girlies up.

[C]

She would go for sure.

[D]

She was like, hola, Hola, honey.

[C]

Violet would.

[D]

Violet would.

[C]

Obviously. She did very well. She's a great drag queen.

[D]

She's a Drag Race winner.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That's so funny. Honestly, Ginger Minj and Violet Chots can make it to the top two again.

[C]

On the Latino Royale.

[D]

Would be insane.

[C]

When are you going to settle your beef with Ginger Minj?

[D]

You want to invite on the pod?

[C]

I would love if she came on the pod.

[D]

Let's invite her on.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Open invitation. I don't have beef with Ginger Benj. I just like making fun of Bob. I just like making fun of her. I like making fun of people. For the past year. I just love making fun of people. There are some people I make fun of it who are, like, cool with it, and I don't think she's Cool with it.

[C]

And how do you say. How do you think she feels?

[D]

I don't know. We can ask her.

[C]

I don't think she'll come on the show.

[D]

By the way, I'm fun of mistress all the time. She's cool with it.

[C]

Yeah, but you mistress. That's mistresses vibe with everyone gender. Mitches is living her life trying to do a little hocus pocus.

[D]

All I said was that she's Puerto Rican and she is Puerto Rican.

[C]

Do you think Ginger Middle has ever been to Puerto Rico?

[D]

Obviously, she's Puerto Rican.

[C]

Biannually.

[D]

She's the JLO of drag race.

[C]

Oh, Lord. Yeah. Gingerbread's calling this show.

[D]

Stop. Okay, what are these questions? Sorry, I don't know.

[E]

I mean, this is a. I had a topic. I have a couple different topics that I pulled up.

[C]

What's this topic?

[E]

This is about, like, etiquette and rules and like, what's polite and like, that kind of stuff.

[C]

I have way more etiquette than you.

[D]

First of all, that in and of itself had little to no etiquette.

[C]

I have way more etiquette than you.

[D]

That. With just that act alone.

[C]

Do you know how to properly set a table?

[D]

Of course.

[C]

Okay, how do you. Which fork is all the way on the outside?

[D]

The one. The little one.

[C]

What is the little one used for?

[D]

It's the littlest one.

[C]

I know it's the littlest one.

[B]

What is it used for?

[D]

And they get bigger as they go to the center.

[C]

What is the little one used for?

[D]

It doesn't matter. I know how to set the fucking thing. I know how to set it. And then you put the plate and then the saucer, then the bowl, and they. Then you take them as you serve them. So when you come, bring the soup, you take the plate and the saucer, you leave the bowl, you grab the soup, you put the thing down. Take those away, you put the plate down. I know how to. But also, that's when you work as a domestic. I'm sitting at the table, you're setting it.

[B]

Get that clear.

[C]

And you don't know what the fuck. You know what fucking fork to use.

[D]

You know how to set it. But I know how to use it and you clearly you don't.

[C]

What the fuck is the middle school used for?

[D]

You are setting the table and I'm sitting there waiting for people like you.

[C]

What is the big spoon used for? What do you use it for? But you know, you're a Neanderthal.

[D]

Just you ain't gagging because I knew how they Go. You're gagging. You're shook, shattered and shorn. Give us an etiquette test. Jacob, it's time.

[E]

What's. What's the. What fork goes to the. The farthest left on the dinner setting?

[D]

Why don't you answer? No, it's your question. No, you answer your question. Is it Jacob?

[E]

It's for you, Bob.

[D]

What question is gonna answer?

[E]

I'll go for one next.

[D]

That's a salad fork.

[E]

That's correct. Thank you, Monet. Where does a cake fork go?

[C]

The cake fork goes in the middle. Yeah.

[D]

One for one. Okay. But also, etiquette is more than just the dinner table and where the plates go. It's your behavior. It's who you are and how you are.

[C]

You think that's etiquette? Doing this seventh.

[D]

Look at you. I watched your etiquette classes.

[E]

I will also warn you that Monet did the section with the Vivian, where she.

[B]

I saw it.

[D]

And she failed miserably.

[C]

No, I was great at it.

[D]

Miserably.

[C]

Oh, rest in peace to Vivian.

[D]

Rip, Viv, rip.

[C]

Rip, Viv.

[D]

Rip, Viv, rip.

[C]

Okay, next question.

[D]

You know, I was a trained butler. For who? For the Jekyll and High Club.

[C]

They're not fucking butlers. They all are waiters.

[D]

I was a butler at the Jekyll and High Club.

[C]

Who were you butler?

[D]

The patrons.

[C]

So you were what. What was your role? What was your job? What did you do?

[D]

I was a butler. You know what a butler is.

[C]

Yeah, but what were your job? What were your job responsibilities?

[D]

First of all, I would tend to the needs of our guests.

[B]

How.

[D]

It, first of all, was a character that I played. But I had to go. So my name was Mortimer Grimm, and I was a butler who went to a school called Connecticut Etiquette. It's an etiquette school in Connecticut called Connecticut Etiquette.

[C]

It.

[D]

And yes, I did make that up myself. I had to do my own character research. So I say my name is Mor. Etiquette School, they say. Where? I said in Connecticut, they say. What's it called? Connecticut Etiquette.

[C]

Okay, next question.

[D]

I need to research because I'm a method.

[C]

What's the next question?

[E]

Okay, you should excuse yourself. If you must leave the table during a meal. Do what you. True or false? You should excuse yourself. If you must leave the table during.

[D]

A meal, you should ask to be excused. But, yeah, you should be like, I have to. You don't just get up and leave.

[C]

Are you telling. Are you asking us or telling us?

[D]

I'm telling you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Matt, please be excused. I have to excuse myself. I'm sorry. And then you take your napkin and you dab. And then you fold it and you put it on your seat, not on the table.

[B]

Like a monster.

[C]

So wrong. You don't have to excuse yourself. You excuse yourself four times. That is redundant and is annoy. It is reductive.

[D]

How does it.

[C]

Four times you said, excuse me, I have to go to bathroom. Sorry. I have to. Excuse me. You said it four excuse yourself four times.

[D]

Let's let Jacob answer the question.

[E]

Oh, you know, it wasn't that elaborate of an answer. It was just true. You should.

[D]

Yeah, that is correct.

[C]

You don't excuse yourself so many times.

[D]

Is it etiquette to walk in on your phone? Buy, buy, sell, sell. When you walk into people's. Is that etiquette?

[C]

Buy by, sell. Sell you something.

[D]

We had a whole conversation about you barging into my workspace in people's homes. Homes on your phone.

[C]

Is that etiquette you do in places that you respect? I don't respect the places.

[D]

Is that etiquette?

[C]

I don't respect it. So that's why.

[D]

Is that etiquette?

[C]

Yes. Because it's not a place I need to.

[D]

You are.

[C]

You've already failed my question, Jacob.

[D]

You've no etiquette.

[E]

Okay, if you're. What do you do if your fork falls on the floor while you're dining?

[C]

You allow the butler to pick it up and to serve you.

[D]

That's definitely not the answer.

[C]

That's what I would do.

[D]

And then what?

[C]

And then the butler must take it back to clean it it and then bring it back to the table and hand it. Place it right where it belonged at the beginning.

[D]

That is. Okay. That's definitely not what you do. I would like to say what you do.

[E]

Okay, what do you do if your.

[D]

Fork falls in the ground? You do not reach down and pick it up. You and you. You request another fork. You go, oh, I'm so sorry.

[B]

I've dropped my fork.

[D]

I've made a horrible mistake. May I please have another? They will bring it to you on a plate, on a platter, on a napkin. You will take it off of the napkin and place it down. And then someone will retrieve it.

[C]

And who's someone? The butler.

[D]

It might not be a butler. It might be a waiter. Jacob, what do you do?

[E]

Yeah, you. You just asked for a new one.

[D]

That's what I said.

[C]

That's what I said.

[E]

No, you're both right.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

No, I Said it right. I said it right. Because you. You forgot the plate.

[B]

The tray.

[C]

They don't always bring on a tray when I.

[D]

Your place. Not at places you frequent. They just be handed to you, holding.

[C]

The prongs, handed to you.

[D]

Handle side out. You ever. I always want to do this bit where, like, if I go. If I, like, serve people, I don't really serve food, but I've always loved the idea of giving someone a drink. Like, it's just like this.

[C]

Oh, God. And just have your finger in the drink.

[D]

Like. Like, if you drop the drink, you're like, here you go. It's.

[C]

It's like the guy from. Like.

[D]

How do you respond to that?

[C]

Oh, that's crazy, girl. Can you get me a new. A new beverage? And keep your fucking fingers on my drink.

[D]

Is that etiquette? Who's asking the quiz, apparently.

[C]

Well, I mean, last question, because then we're tied.

[E]

Okay, if somebody asks you to pass the salt, what do you pass them?

[C]

You pass in the salt and the pepper shaker.

[E]

That's correct.

[C]

Do you know why?

[D]

This is not my question.

[C]

Do you know why?

[D]

Because they're in a caddy together. You don't take it out of the caddy.

[C]

No, because everyone likes a little pepper with their salt. It is true.

[E]

Yeah, that's correct.

[C]

That's correct.

[D]

That's not written in that thing. That is correct. That's not written in that thing. Jacob is making shit up now. Jacob. Just adding stuff. This is my last one.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Talk to me.

[E]

Okay. What fork do you start with?

[D]

I start with teleport.

[E]

That's correct.

[D]

I guess we're both as etiquetted as the other one. Isn't that crazy? You're gagged. Even though I didn't grow up in the upper crust like you and you and you and Cuomo.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I'm assuming that's where you grew up, next to Cuomo.

[C]

Me and Zoron were contemporaries.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

You know Zoron, Mom. Dummy, if. Mom. Mom. Donnie's younger than us. Isn't that crazy? He's 33.

[D]

I hadn't considered how his age, to be honest. Have you seen the mayoral debate? He is cooking. Okay. It's Mandami Cuomo. And what's 34 now?

[C]

He just had a birthday.

[D]

What's the other guy's name?

[E]

Curtis. So I believe.

[D]

Anyway, so. So they're like, all right, what do you guys believe? How do you feel about public transportation and Mundumi's? Like, I believe that. Of course I Take the one train every single day, and we need to keep our prices low, and that's important. And then Cuomo's like, I have not been on the train in so long, I don't know what y' all broke asses do. And then Curtis is like, I got stabbed on the one train. The so and so crime family shanked me on the one train. I used to. I used to be in. I used to be a drug dealer. And they were like, all right, so tell us, what parade would you do? And Montame's like, they're all great. I really. I would do the Puerto Rican Day parade because I like them then. And Cuomo's like, yeah, sure. His. He's like, I got ran over by a car one time at a parade. I'm like, this guy Curtis Silwa has lived the. He is like the New York City crazy, but like somehow liberal version of rfk. I feel he's been stabbed. He's. He's been chased down by the mob.

[C]

He's so interesting.

[D]

Everything wild has happened to this guy. He is insane.

[E]

They did one or. The question was, what's your favorite music venue? So Mamdani said the Forest Hill Stadium. Curtis Silwa said the chain smokers.

[D]

This is crazy. This guy, honestly, he hacked my book.

[E]

He said the Chainsmokers. He also, to be fair, Curtis Walla is a Republican with terrible policy. He's a Republican candidate. Donnie is a Democrat who beat. He beat Cuomo. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, God. I mean, sorry. And Cuomo's running as a independent.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I thought there were three Democrats run.

[E]

Now some of civil's policies is he wants stricter policing on children.

[C]

On children.

[E]

He wants, he wants to like, make like, make it easier to arrest children who are committing crimes.

[D]

Have you, have you met New York City children? I'm sorry.

[C]

I'm sorry. No, I would agree.

[D]

Girl. I went.

[C]

I went to. I went to the third worst middle school in New York City, girl.

[D]

Yeah, I'm so. Right now. New York City children are the scariest.

[C]

Like being on the train when school gets out is scary.

[D]

I would rather walk. Walk through the Bronx at 3am with a suit made of a hundred dollar bills, then ride the train at 3:15.

[C]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[D]

What these children will do to your self esteem, your energy.

[C]

They're just so good at reading.

[D]

It's the. It's the worst. They're. Y' all are. I don't know what they do to y' all at school, but y' all are released and you become like when us in the south, when we rode the bus home, maybe there was a little period of time where we were like maybe giving the bus driver some fever. But like, I just don't remember just like becoming like, just terrorizing anything in my vision. What is going on with y'? All?

[C]

That's pretty accurate. I will say that's pretty accurate. In New York City, what's happening, you know, it just. We just have a lot of pent up anger and aggression and that's. I mean, yeah, New York is a fucked up place. You lived in New York City. Not like, you know, New York is not fucked up and crazy.

[D]

I was an adult in New York City. I gotta be honest with you. Raising a child in New York City seems crazy. If I had a baby, I'd be like, I gotta go to Jersey. Jersey, Philly, Connecticut, at least White Plains. So you can go down in New York City from time to time. But like being like, I'm going to raise my baby on 106 in Amsterdam is Arikiki. They didn't own their place. Arikiki Arakiki, her family.

[C]

How you still think about people that live in New York?

[D]

Arakiki.

[C]

I finished show. She's from Jersey.

[D]

Ariki is from. Is definitely from the Upper east side. Her dad was a super.

[C]

A super. Is pretty close to owning a building.

[D]

That's literally an employee of the building. Literally an employee of the building. That's like saying the janitor basically owns the Empire State Building.

[C]

You just had a fucking Ravenson moment.

[D]

When you like ar. She lives in Jersey now.

[C]

Oh, that's what she does.

[D]

But she's from the Upper east side.

[C]

Ari was a cra. You remember when she would do her numbers to just like throw herself around the bar? She would just fall off the stage and bang herself into walls. She would post next day. Bruises, bleeding, her eyes falling out.

[D]

She was. Eyes were not falling out, but bruises and bleeding is actually very accurate. And AR is a big girl.

[C]

Very big girl.

[D]

So she would like throw her body and just like hit. Hit the ground.

[C]

Like, I'm not kidding. Like, like, like bump into the wall. She'll be on stage at the Ritz and just throw her. She'll climb up the stairs on the side and just throw herself down the entire series.

[D]

Yeah, I remember. And bounce down.

[C]

R KE was wild.

[D]

Yeah, she was. What if we should do a whole episode about the crazy people that we have met in New York City nightlife?

[C]

Do you know. Do you know what we have to do?

[E]

The one about New York City nightlife.

[D]

Do we already do one?

[C]

Yes, girl.

[D]

What about the characters, though?

[C]

No. Do you know what we need to do one day? We need to go York City and go rent out a podcast space and bring and have guests. Like New York City guests. That'll be fun. I did this once porno for sibling rivalry.

[D]

I did it for sibling rivalry.

[C]

Why did you do that?

[D]

I did an entire episode at Sony hall with all the queens when you.

[C]

Were away at Drag Race. Where is the episode? I never saw that.

[D]

It is on the Internet. We did a Sony Hall. You remember Jacob? Is that true?

[E]

I don't think I was working for the podcast.

[D]

I think it was mentioned at the time, but yeah, it was. Me, Keisha, Jasmine, Marty. Oh, I do remember that.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

At Sony Hall.

[C]

And Jasmine Rice.

[D]

That's your. That's your ex girlfriend?

[C]

That's my ex girlfriend.

[D]

That's. You told everyone.

[C]

She. She and I have. Have both debunked this thing that you said, and we have both debunked it. So out of three of us, two of us said it's not.

[D]

Well, you're in. You're cahooting.

[C]

You mean you're in cahoots.

[D]

You're colluding.

[C]

Yeah. Colluding. Yeah. Kahooting. Jehooting.

[D]

You are kahooting.

[C]

No, we're kahloding, not kahooting. We're in cahoots because we're kahooting.

[D]

But you are kahooting. You're kahooting and kahooting.

[C]

No, we're in cahoots and we're kuding. No, kahooting is not a word, Jacob. Kahooting is.

[D]

Kahooting is a word. No, kahoots is a word, but you can kahoot.

[C]

I don't think so.

[D]

You can't kahoot.

[C]

Jacob, please.

[D]

Kahoot can be a verb.

[C]

No, I don't think so. No, ing is not. Wait, I don't think.

[D]

Look at the word. Look at the word kahoot.

[C]

It's not.

[D]

It is not. What is it? What?

[C]

What?

[D]

Kahoot.

[C]

You can't be. Kahooting is.

[D]

Look up kahoot as a verb.

[C]

It's not.

[D]

I think if on dictionary you can use it as a gerund.

[C]

No, you cannot.

[E]

It would say if you could use a.

[D]

You trust dictionary.com. the White man's dictionary.

[C]

Do you apologize to me?

[D]

Never in a million years.

[C]

Oxford is the white man's dictionary. Now go to Urban Dictionary.

[D]

Webster's a nigga.

[C]

Go to Urban Dictionary. See what they say about cahooting. Would you Husbando? In cahoots is not even.

[D]

Y' all niggas was cahooting. Cahootinism. You're a cahooter. See, she was your cahooter.

[C]

You see you in your niggerish language over here.

[D]

She was your fucking cahooter.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

My fucking scarf is sliding all the way back.

[C]

Jesus, you look like jujube on the way we did the Dungeons and Drag Queens.

[D]

Wasn't that crazy?

[C]

All that lace with her lace every episode. And we all looked at her lace.

[D]

Well, I just assumed that she knew. And then she's like, why didn't everyone tell me? We thought you had a mirror. You had a mirror, bitch. Like, did you not. You put. You glued it down yourself?

[C]

Like the first day was normal? Cause we shot that one for six days. No, three days.

[E]

Three days.

[C]

By day three, it was.

[D]

No, it started off bad, and then she trimmed it back. Cause she was like, my lace was so bad.

[C]

Oh, is that what it was?

[D]

Yeah. The first we did we.

[C]

The first two days, it was crazy. And on the third day, she finally trimmed it back.

[E]

Was it season one or two?

[C]

Two. Season two.

[D]

So if you watch. What's the show I was on with the Devil? Lucifer.

[C]

Lucifer.

[D]

What we about to say? We're here. We must say, we're here. No, no, I know.

[E]

I just. I remember. I remember the.

[C]

Here I'm screaming. That's hilarious.

[D]

So on Lucifer, I am. This happened to me twice on two different films, which is insane. I have my wig on, and I have a ponytail on. So what's the guy's name, the actor who plays Lucifer? Robert or Tom Ellis. Tom Ellis. Who's actually friends with. Who's friends with. Who's actually friends with Mila Jam, by the way, randomly.

[C]

How did you get Robert from Tom.

[D]

So he and I are dancing together, and I have this idea. I'm like, oh, it'd be so fun if I pick you up and kind of spin you around in a circle. It'd be so cute. So shout out. Godoy made this out for me, by the way. It'd be so cute if I pick you up and speed around a circle. And they were like, yeah, do that, girl. Take after take after take. He is a big man. He's my size. So I'm lifting, like, £230, like, over and over again. I'm start sweating. My wig starts sliding back. So if you look at this thing, like, the takes, my wig is like. It's like. It's like my hairline is going back, front, front, back, back, front, front. Back, Back. Because they're using different takes. And there is one take I can't tell where. Where my wig is so far back. And I'm like, how did you guys not clock that? This is a bad. Because I was sweating so much. My wig just, like, sliding back.

[C]

But did you feel it? Why didn't you, like, adjust it?

[D]

I did end up adjusting it, so I ended up pulling it back down. But they. But they were like.

[C]

Like.

[D]

They were like, all right, take another take. But then I was like, you ever feel your wig? And you're like, is my wig far back? And you'd be like, is it? Is it? And then you look at someone, they're like, no, but that person you're looking at is not like, oh, there it is. Is that the one?

[C]

I think, girl, it's one of the ones.

[D]

But, yeah, my wig. And then it happened again in a fucking movie I did called the Coco Fondue show with Puerto Rican superstar Ginger Minch and Manila Luzon. We were in a movie together, and Jackie beat. It's called the Coco Von Dew Show. And I went back and watched it in my wig like, it was giving, like, Vander Von Odd. Like, I remember being like this.

[C]

I don't wear ponytails.

[D]

I was like. And all of y' all were just looking at me. And no one at any point thought to be like, girl, your wig is halfway back your head. And that time, I actually had my assistant with me. Louise. Louise. And I was like, louise, this is crazy. The fact that you were coming over to me between shots and being like, looks great is crazy.

[C]

I will say that is the thing. Pat A's done this, too. We have done a thing. And then I'm thinking, we're good, bitch. And then I see the thing. I'm like, girl, you ain't telling me that y' all's back there watching the monitor.

[D]

You know what it is here? I don't think people. You know what it is. When I am on set, I'm like, this is. First of all, I know how out of touch we sound. I know. So they're out of touch. Yeah, we are. Okay. But, like, when you're on camera, you can't see yourself. There's no mirrors. The monitors are not facing you. So you're like, I need someone who is just, like, staring at the monitor like crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Looking. Because it is. Once it's shot, it's shot.

[C]

Yeah. And nine times out of 10, 95% of the time, Patty's to defend himself.

[D]

You grab the mic, go over to the mic, Patrick.

[C]

95% of the time, there's that 5% of Patty's like, well, girl, it is what it is. It is.

[D]

Pat, you want to defend yourself? Let's ask the audience.

[C]

Like, 95% of the time, Patty would stop. We were like, no, but that 5% of the time. What is the last shot of the day? Pat's like, bitch, wrap it up.

[D]

I will say this, and this is not Yalls fault, but, like, I guess it was a period piece and you had to do this. But the makeup they made y' all do for Lovecraft country was criminal. Criminal. We look back.

[C]

But it was. Because it was a period thing.

[D]

I would've been like, I don't give a fuck. Full glam.

[C]

I'd have been like.

[D]

I would've been kind no matter what.

[C]

No, they wouldn't have had.

[E]

I'd have, like.

[D]

No, we had highlight back in. Back in my time, honey. I'm a time traveler. This is lovely. Y' all got ghouls and monsters, and I can't time travel for highlight.

[C]

Yeah, we look like ghoul.

[D]

It is bad. When I tell you it was a.

[C]

Suggestion of an eye. It was crazy.

[D]

No, I remember being like, woofiana, honey.

[C]

And we shot that in Atlanta in the summer in this speakeasy thing they made. When I tell you. Cause you know when you film, you can't put the AC on. It was so fucking hot in this room with all these dancers, all these kids. We were, like, sweating. It was crazy.

[D]

But, yeah, that does sound. But I remember watching me like, ooh, sis, they got you.

[C]

It was Atlanta, Georgia, in August. Okay, so I'm gonna bring two. Next time I come over here, I'm bringing. Bring two watermelons. We're gonna Saran Wrap them to our bodies. We have to do a little tax.

[D]

But, like, no, that's not how it works. You have to do it. You have to work, like, 24 hours and document it. Doing a podcast?

[C]

No, not a podcast. We're gonna do things. We're gonna, like, be making things. We're gonna be. You're gonna be living your life.

[D]

I think we have to do it for 24 hours, including sleeping. You have to sleep with it on. So we have to go from, like.

[E]

From, like, noon, maybe not a watermelon.

[C]

Then maybe something else noon in case.

[D]

It breaks and they're gonna break.

[C]

Watermelons can break in your bed. Watch the she sheets. It's been a minute.

[D]

Anyway, we have our sheets washed regularly.

[C]

I wash. How often do you wash.

[D]

Your sheets a week? Every week. Every week. What do you do? We gotta come to every three days?

[C]

Every four.

[D]

You would try to change the answer after we said every week too.

[C]

Sometimes you be a little lazy, you know? Go two weeks.

[D]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't wash my own shoes.

[C]

And now you see how the other half lives. Now I gotta see this is the real Bob the Drag Queen. The one that he don't show. Y' all for real? Y' all just saw a little glimpse of it.

[D]

I've never been shy about having a housekeeper.

[C]

Wow, must be nice.

[D]

It is nice for all of us. We're having a great transaction. In fact, I'll talk about how nice it is after this break.

[E]

Oh, no, sorry.

[C]

This is the end, girl. We've been talking for three hours. You wanna talk more?

[D]

Yes, Moni, I would love to talk to you more. I like talking to you. Is that okay? You don't mind, do you?

[C]

No.

[D]

Thank you. That's crazy. All right, well, everyone, money is gonna talk, so bye. Also, if you wanna catch our exception eventary, that is exclusively on our Patreon, where we talk about current events. So please hop over there. You can go to Sibling Rivalry dot.

[C]

Com, Just Google s Rivalry and Patreon, and you'll find it right there.

[E]

Patreon.com s podcast.

[D]

There we go.