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- [00:00]
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- [00:27]
Dorinda Wilson
available in all jurisdictions. Check local regulations before trading restrictions and eligibility requirements apply. You know, as moms, we want to earn their trust and one of the ways that we do that is to respect their buiness, respect their God given nature. This does not mean they get to run wild and free and zero parameters, zero boundaries. That's absolutely not true. However, we need to make shifts and changes in our expectations when it comes to their education, when it comes to the way their days unfold, we have to be willing to respect and honor the way that God has wired them.
- [00:59]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
My name is Lisa, mother of eight and creator of the blog and YouTube channel Farm House on Boone. Join me as I share with you my love for creating a handmade home from scratch cooking and a little mom and entrepreneur life along the way. Welcome back to the Simple Farmhouse Life podcast. Today we are having on someone that I very much enjoy talking with, Dorinda Wilson, who just wrote a new book on raising boys. As a mom to six boys that I homeschool and spend a lot of time with all of their male energy, this was a very timely conversation for me and I can't wait to dig in further to her book. So join me for this very encouraging chat. All right, well Dorinda, thank you so much for coming on. I'm really excited to talk about this topic. And this morning I was telling my husband because we usually talk about who's coming on the podcast, told him about you and I told him about what the topic was and he kind of gave me a look like, like, are you sure you qualify? Or he said some things along the lines of like, are we qualified for this? Because we have six boys that are 10 and under, so we're kind of in the thick of it to the point where it feels like, you know, we haven't, we don't have any proof yet. Like, right. We're kind of in the thick of it. We don't know what we're doing. And so I'm really glad to Talk to you. Because boys are. They're different. They're a lot. Right. My sister has six, and so combined, they're just a lot. So tell us a little bit about the new book and a little bit about you.
- [02:27]
Dorinda Wilson
Okay. Well, I'm married to Darryl, and we've been married for 34 years and have eight kids, five of whom are boys. And we have our 11th grandbaby on the way. Just had our 10th born last week. And most of them are boys as well. So we are definitely on heavy on the boy end of things. And so I get a lot of questions from moms when it comes to boys, whether it's on my podcast or through Instagram or just my subscribers or whoever reaching out to me and asking me about boys. And I have such a passion about raising boys and for raising boys that I thought, you know, I think it'd just be really a really good idea to just get this all out into one book so that moms can hopefully benefit from the things that I've learned over the years. And I remember being exactly where you are, where we were in the thick of raising kids, and people were asking us to teach a class on child raising. We were like, no way. We're not doing this until they're.
- [03:24]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
What do we know?
- [03:25]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. Exactly. So I have a few more things to share now than then, but that's why I went ahead and decided to write the book.
- [03:33]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. And of course, you know, I have to point out, because there's people who, like my sister and I, we have different experiences when it comes to our boys and our girls, because half the population is boys, half population is girls. Everybody has different personalities. So, you know, we know we're not, like, lumping them all, but there are certain things that I notice, even with different personalities, about all of my boys and all of her boys, even though they're different than the girls, you know, there's just certain things. And so they.
- [04:02]
Dorinda Wilson
Absolutely.
- [04:03]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
And then you homeschooled as well. So you have grown children, you've homeschooled them, and then that's another special consideration when it comes to boys.
- [04:12]
Dorinda Wilson
Right, right, right, exactly. Yes. They school very differently than girls. And I think that's one thing that really distresses teachers and mothers. I remember when our oldest, our youngest was in the hospital, he had transposition of the greater arteries and two holes in his heart, and he was in the hospital for two months because he had to have open heart surgery. Anyway, he was there a long time, and there was this nurse. She was a nurse intern that I'd gotten to know. And she knew I had a lot of boys. And she was telling me about her frustration with her little boy who kept getting in trouble at school, in the classroom. And she told me how old he was. I think he was about 6 years old. And I said, I know exactly what the problem is. And she leaned in like I had this really intense secret that she needed to hear. And I said, it's because he knows he's supposed to be digging in the dirt and playing with worms. She looked at me kind of incredulously. But it's true. Our boys know they have, like, this instinct to learn, but to learn very differently than what our educational system is asking them to do. And so this is how we end up with a lot of misunderstood and misdiagnosed little boys, because we. We just forget that boys are boys, they're not girls. It's a really simple thing, but there seems to be a problem with that registering for a lot of people in our culture and even the church, we've just. We're really at a crisis when it comes to masculinity. Pretty much every setting from the church to the classroom has been feminized. In other words, it favors doing things in a way that works for women and the way they're wired, but not necessarily for the way men and boys are wired. And so I'm talk of that we're being lied to in all kinds of ways about gender and masculinity, which we all know. That's a whole other topic. But. But it's just a lot of lies that are going around in the culture. And it's very confusing for moms because they want to do the. They want to do a good job. They want to raise good men. But the culture and even a lot of the churches making that hard because we've strayed so far from what masculinity actually is. You know, there's. There's always the, you know, the toxic version of it out there, because whenever man tries to, you know, go ahead, we. We know there's a trend towards masculinity. We're seeing that happen. But then. Then when man takes it and does something with it that isn't biblical, it becomes ugly and yucky. And so it all gets very confusing for moms. And so what we don't want to do is send a message to our boys that being a man or a boy is a bad thing, because I think that's really a sort of a passive and sometimes blatant message that we're getting in the culture. And so I think that when it comes to educating boys, we really need to take a step back and look at how they're wired in order to best facilitate an environment that allows them to thrive. And I'm telling you, when they have that, these boys rock it. You know, at first, in the very beginning, they're typically about their little ways behind up to two years behind girls when it comes to like being ready to read and write and all that. And that immediately.
- [07:33]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Oh, I've. I've seen this in my own little small scale study. Yeah.
- [07:36]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes. It freaks everybody out. And it's like, you guys, these, these kids are not robots. They are people. And specifically these boys were made to be outside. They were made to have lots of physical activity. This is part of the wonder of who they are and how they lear at this point in the game. It's not that we can't make an effort, you know, when they show some interest to sit down and try to teach them how to read or whatever, but to expect them to sit for long periods of time is just completely. It just flies in the face of. Of who God made them. And so if we can learn to take that energy and, and direct it, put it in a good direction, it makes so much difference, man.
- [08:18]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I feel like I have a lot of questions. There are so many things along that. Yeah, I can see why this would need an entire book because.
- [08:24]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [08:26]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
You know, every. Basically all the ways that we normally try to fit boys into our little box don't really work. And so that obviously opens up the big question of what do we do? And I must say, you said, you know, it really freaks us out that boys are behind girls when it comes to reading and different things. I want to go on record saying that I am personally completely okay with that. Like, I have boys that have been late readers. It's been the societal pressure. I've been afraid the boys that I'm referring to now can now read. But like last year this time I was afraid of even taking my kids to these particular two boys to public places because I was afraid somebody was going to be very upset with me that they couldn't read. I was fine because I knew that they were going to read, that they're not going to not read. They're. They're fine. But I was more just worried about like people thinking they should be reading and they're not. And oh, also mom homeschools. But I.
- [09:23]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [09:23]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. And that's probably not even. I don't Know if something I should even be talking about because they can read now, but.
- [09:28]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [09:29]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
You know what I mean? Like, I'm still worried about what people might think about having late readers. And so I don't even know how to navigate necessarily the very much like what you're saying is true. And also not being. I'm not worried. I know the kids are going to read eventually, but creating an environment where that's okay.
- [09:46]
Dorinda Wilson
Right. Well, I think this is one thing that I think every mom, every mom, but specifically every mom of boys has to learn to do is to put our big girl pants on and not allow the culture to decide how we're going to respond to our kids, whether it's in public or private. What we need to do is understand that we're walking something out that God has called us to. And when God calls us to something and we do that instead of what society is. Is trying to pressure us to do, and we just, we keep our eyes focused on what God has called us to do, then what we're doing is we are obeying God rather than man. And that's very, very biblical. And so that means that we have to basically learn to not care what other people think. And that's not something that happens overnight. And, you know, and I understand what you're saying too, you don't want your child to be embarrassed either because you, you know, you want to protect them from that. But at the same time, I think we just need to. We need to be comfortable with the fact that this is how kids grow and develop and learn. And this is specifically how boys do it. They do it at their own. They have their own timeline. And the thing that's amazing is that when they decide they're ready, holy cow. They will just race past the girls that they were behind. You know, and it's, it's. To me, it's like, I liken it to like digging post holes in Alaska. Like, you can go out there every day and chink at the ice and snow if you want to, and you might make some progress. But if you wait for the spring thaw, you do it in a fraction of the time. And it's the same thing with kids and learning. And specifically with boys and learning. They want to own what they're doing, you know.
- [11:36]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Right. Yeah. And giving them that opportunity is probably my number one priority in homeschooling. And I feel like we've been pretty successful at it. And I'm on the other side of kids learning things that were in their own time and in their own way, but learning them better than, like I experienced when I was a kid in regular school. And of course, I want to point out, some boys want to read early and are very intellectual and not. What's the word I'm looking for, academic type of boys. Mine are not like that.
- [12:06]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [12:06]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
But I've seen that. I've seen boys read extra early at the same time, like in the same way, like taking it and doing that early. Mine are more like it, almost. Especially one of my kids. Something has to be his idea for him to care at all about it. And so we have to learn how to, like, navigate that. But this kid will stay up late, like, writing stories. And I remember in school you had to be forced to write a story that was like a thing that you'd get an assignment to do. He stays up late doing all kinds of stuff like that. That I didn't even assign him that. He just does, like, whoa. He homeschooled himself for like, two hours last night, you know, so it's. It works, but it's. It's. It's never quite looks like how we want it to, necessarily.
- [12:49]
Dorinda Wilson
No, it doesn't. And I think that's the key right there, is noticing I talk a lot about being a student of your children, specifically in the Unheard Homeschooler and the Four Hour to School Day that my two other books. I talk a lot about that. But it's really true with boys because. Because they learn. We kind of have to take a step back and watch them. And the more I watched my boys, the more I realized their wheels are turning all the time.
- [13:17]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Oh, yeah.
- [13:17]
Dorinda Wilson
And especially when they're engaged in something, so there's not really a moment in the day that they're not learning. It just may not involve much in the way of books. So, you know, and maybe that.
- [13:30]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
That makes you almost feel like. Like wrong. But I noticed the exact same thing. Like when I let you, these certain boys of mine be like, I have a couple boys that I feel like would fit into the whole classroom thing, and they would go through the motions and, like, they would do fine. They wouldn't get in trouble. They'd be fine. I have one for sure. That would not be fine. And he learns all day long, like, when I don't even have to. It almost feels like I almost feel bad that I can. Guilty that he can do that without me doing anything. Because he does. Like, I don't even have to do anything.
- [14:02]
Dorinda Wilson
Yeah, it's true. And they will surpass us in so many areas long before we expect them to, if we allow them that kind of margin for self teaching. And I think, you know, I think it's really good to have some directed learning, but I think it's also as important, if not more important to have as much or more time of self directed learning. And for our kids that look like, specifically our boys that looked like a lot of being outside a lot of building and bike ramps. And one of the, one of our sons says that his, he would describe his childhood as an ongoing experiment in the laws of physics. And that is absolutely true. You know, they're jumping off of things and they're, you know, and they, they definitely press our parameters of safety. And this is one of the worst things we can do as the mom of a boy is to helicopter our son. They have got to be able to do dangerous things. Granted, we're not going to let them do things that are going to do, you know, long term harm, obviously. But we really do need to expand our, our, our world when it comes to the parameters and, and, and move them out, move the boundaries out and let our boys do more things. It is so, so important for their development, not just their bodily development, but their brain development. And if we withhold that from them, we're actually shortchanging their learning process and their, you know, their growing process, so. And their maturing process.
- [15:43]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah, I mean, honestly, this is good news for moms because it's so hard to try to, it's funny. Like, how do we come up with these certain things that are the things that you do for school, for education, for raising children and then you'd have to just fit your kids into it. Sometimes we need to stop and think, is there a way that just makes more sense that they actually could thrive in? So you mentioned like bike ramps and outside time. And we're, I mean, my kids, all of my boys, except for the two youngest who are taking their naps are outside right now. So the four oldest boys are just, just outside doing who knows what. My husband's out there too, because he's home with me, so. Because, yeah, but they spend so much time outside, so much mud and bikes and forts. They're up in the loft of the barn making hay, forts and mazes and all this stuff. But what, like, what kind of other stuff did your kids do? What kind of tools did you give them? What did their homeschool day look like? Like, how much directed learning was it? And maybe, of course, that changed throughout different seasons.
- [16:48]
Dorinda Wilson
Sure. I, yeah, I'm Happy to share that. So the way that we did it was we took an unhurried approach in terms of when we started bookwork and when we started it, we, we did it slowly and incrementally added more book work. So my kindergartners were basically doing zero. I mean, what is kindergarten? Kindergarten was playing, it was play doh. It was, you know, all that kind of stuff. So kind of just, you know, that year was that. But when they showed an interest in reading and writing, we would start short, very short lessons, 15 minute reading lessons, maybe 15 minutes of writing letters, that kind of thing. And that just slowly grew as they were reading and writing on their own. We could increase the amount that they were doing. But I would say that in, probably from kindergarten to fifth grade, they were doing two hours or less, depending on their age. Okay. And, and they, we always tried to be done by noon, always until they were in high school. Actually, once they got into high school, they sometimes had to go a little beyond to one or two in the afternoon because they were meeting some, some credits and some things like that. But by then they're ready for that. Yeah, they're ready to meet those. They can sit still longer. There's a whole lot of development that's gone on by the time they get, get there. But one thing that I found super frustrating as I'm homeschooling these kids, I remember we had six kids, nine and under because four of our boys were born. Our four boys in a row. The fourth one was born before the, the oldest one turned six. So I had four, five and under.
- [18:21]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I have that. I, I actually had that from July through December. And now the five year old turned six. But yeah, the four boys, five and under. Yeah.
- [18:30]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes. I mean, what a hoot. I'm telling you, these, these guys. Busy, fun, but hilarious. Anyway, all that to say. So I had nine, six kids, nine and under. And I was getting frustrated because I was thinking to myself, I cannot seem to get, first of all, more than three days of school in a week. Like, I really wanted four. And I just was so frustrated and I felt like such a failure. And I just finally prayed about it. And it was like the Lord said, can you just be happy with three? And I was like, well, yeah, I can do that. So when I settled in that, that was the season we were in, three days a week. And I also noticed my kids were actually learning from taking care of their siblings and doing all the things that were taking up the rest of the time, you know, keeping the house from Falling apart, keeping up on the laundry, the babies fed, all of that, toddlers occupied or whatever. All of that took up all that extra time. And I could have felt guilty about that, but I was so thankful that the Lord showed me. Look, these guys are learning all the time. It doesn't.
- [19:36]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
It doesn't.
- [19:37]
Dorinda Wilson
You don't have to be sitting down doing stuff with them. All of this matters. And so that changed my perspective completely. The other thing that I found super frustrating was that I could not get to science and history, any kind of formal science or history was. And so I was like, oh, my goodness, what am I going to do? And I thought, we have got this great rhythm in our family. I cannot seem to fit this in. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to make this optional. So this is going to be something we learn as they're interested. Of course, we popped in the magic school bus. We popped in Liberty's kids when they had their little bit of TV time in the afternoon. So they were getting, like, little bits and pieces, little connections with history, little connections with science. And kids automatically find, at certain points, find people interesting in history or things interesting in history or science, and you just roll with it. Okay, they're really interested in volcanoes this week. So let's. Let's. Let's make a volcano. You know, it doesn't have to be complicated. I am not a crafty mom. I'm not. I could never do all the mummified chicken things that the history books wanted me to do. Yeah, I didn't do any of that.
- [20:44]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
The curriculums, they say, I'm like, yes, I can't.
- [20:47]
Dorinda Wilson
Oh, please. Yes. And that's the other thing. Curriculum. You use what works for you. Do not feel guilty that you're not using the whole thing. And, you know, I'm. I know it sounds like you're comfortable with it, but I'm speaking to moms who maybe are feeling like they have to do everything. You don't make it work for you. Make it work for your children and for your sons. So that was what I did. And until they got into high school, we did not do any formal science or history. And by the time they got into high school, they were ready for something formal and systematic. I wanted them to see how world history and biblical history weave leave together. And, you know, so we had a goal in their high school years that they would make all those connections. But a lot of the stuff they learned and experienced while they were in grade school, they could pull into that reading and into that formal curriculum. The other question I asked myself when I was wondering about science and curriculum was how much do I remember? Do I remember from elementary science?
- [21:47]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I think of this, like, nothing time, literally.
- [21:51]
Dorinda Wilson
I remember. Yeah, I remembered what was interesting to me.
- [21:54]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
That's it exactly.
- [21:55]
Dorinda Wilson
So why do stuff that isn't interesting to them if they're not going to remember it? I would rather have them playing and building forts and being creative and having that imagine that imaginative, creative time than trying to force a project on them or this, this learning on them. Because forced learning isn't real learning. It isn't. It's.
- [22:15]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
It's funny, though, because we think that it is everybody, even though we all have our own experiences, we all know that that doesn't work for. For me, you know, maybe it works for the entire rest of the world, but it doesn't work for me. Somehow be the exception, because we think that that's just like our own thing. We just still do it. Like, we think that if we put certain information into a person, we sit the person in front of us, we spout something to them, we think that that then made it into their brain and they now have that information. And I'm just here to bust that. It doesn't. It's not how that works. It has to be an interest. So I do feel like, like so much of what you're saying, I think that homeschool moms need to hear, and I like that it's coming from you, because I can't say these things with the same level of confidence because I'm in the thick of it. You have grown children who presumably have their own careers, who are successful, who didn't just come through like, well, we didn't learn anything, so we know nothing now. And so you have this different perspective that you could actually, you can say it to them. And I don't even know if I necessarily want to say it because it's. Like I said, I have a bit of a. Even though I know this because I've seen it in my own kids. I've seen what they learn just by going through the world, taking in information and, you know, all of that. Like, I, I can see how much they know that they actually are interested in and they keep with them.
- [23:42]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes.
- [23:42]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
But I also know that there's going to be a lot of judgment.
- [23:47]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes, there is. And you really do have to learn to let it roll off. I, My, my thing, if somebody said something to me, I typically would just smile, laugh, and move on. And, and you know, Just, ah, you know, and that was it. And we just, we just moved on to the next thing because here's the bottom line. Those people do not know your kids. They, you know, there are some people who do know your kids, but nobody knows your kids like you know your kids and you're living the day to day with them. So you see all that they're learning and it can't be like, I suppose you could take the time to spout it all off on, onto a written record, which I actually did for a long time and it was super helpful. So our kids went to a parent partnership program once a week. So it's like a co op type of thing where they would go and they would take other classes. The rest of the time they were at home. Their core education was all at home. But one of the things we had to do was write a progress report. And at first I was just like, I hate this. I don't want to write a progress report. But as I began to write not just the book work they were doing, but the things that they were learning every day as they were building forts and doing all the things that we talked about, I was, that really magnified to me how much and how often they were actually learning. So you could sit down and do all of that, but you're already noticing it, you see it, you're conscious of it, and you're the one who's responsible for it, not anybody else. And I remember feeling at one point in my home, we were, we had this wonderful, like, rhythm going on. And it was all eight kids was just, it was so I was just noting like how peaceful things were and how we had such a good rhythm. And then all of a sudden I had this terrifying thought. I was like, what if someone had a camera in my house and they were watching us? What would they say about how I'm homeschooling these kids? And immediately I knew they would say that I was, was failing. These kids were never going to make it. You should put them in school. I knew those are the things that I would hear. And I just, I just went straight to the Lord with it and said, okay, you got to help me with this. And what came to mind is that story of the loaves and the fishes in the Bible, when Jesus told the disciples, you know, feed them. Like, there's thousands of people. And they're like, feed them. And they're like, we can't do that. And how many of us feel that way when we're raising or homeschooling? Our kids. I can't do this, you know, And Jesus is saying to these disciples, bring me what you have. He's not asking for what they didn't have, he asked for what they had. So they brought everything they had. So that's what we do. We bring everything we have and he multiplies it and makes it enough. And I watched him do exactly that with every single one of our kids. And it was an amazing faith walk. But if I had let myself get drugged down by those thoughts, I wouldn't have moved forward in the same way and had the same freedom with our kids. And obviously this is something I had to go back to over and over and over again. It didn't, wasn't like, oh, it happened once and forever. I had confidence. I had to repeatedly. It was training myself, you know. Yeah. So, you know, it's just God, he knows, like, he knows what our kids need and he has us right where he wants us. And so I love to tell moms to homeschool from where you live. Like wherever you are, you have advantages. Whether you're in the city or in the country, you have advantages in those places. So ask God to show you how to best homeschool them. So anyway, that was. I wasn't sure whether to continue or not, so I just did.
- [27:28]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
No. Yes, I appreciate that. No, my. For the listeners. I had a son come in because he is filming a. Speaking of boys figuring out things and doing things, I have one that's really obsessed with film doing like little short films and stuff. And you know, they're, they're a work in progress. But he, I texted my husband that the two year old was up to come get him and he had the phone because he's using it as a camera. And so he's like, I heard you say he was up and I'm like, go get him, take him outside. So. But yeah, like speaking of you being aware of the things that they're learning, certain historical things or geographical things will come up all the time and somehow they know it. And like, where'd you get that? Where'd you get that? And I don't know it. And I'm like, oh, tell me more about that. Yes, okay. I guess because they've just been so interested because I haven't, I feel like we've done, if anything we've done decent. I haven't made learning interesting things like history and science dreadful. And for me, I'm just now as an adult, discovering that they're really fun and interesting. But as a Kid, I didn't realize that. And so I didn't take any of it in.
- [28:37]
Dorinda Wilson
But they don't know that.
- [28:39]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
They still think it's really interesting. And so they just pick it up like a sponge because they listen to audiobooks like, whoa, that happened. That happened, happen. We do a lot of audiobooks. You know, that's something where if they're interested in something you put on an audiobook, then they actually take it in. You know, it doesn't have to be. I think another thing that whenever you're first a new homeschooler, you look at the way regular school is and you see that they have this very laid out curriculum. In this grade you learn this particular point in history. In this grade, you learn this particular point in history. And so we see it like that and think it has to be in that order, right? And whenever kids just, it sounds so reckless just to say, well, they're interested in something, get an audiobook and give it to them. That seems like that can't work. That can't possibly work. That's not right. That's not how we do things. But it really does. And I know there are certain people who are going to hear this podcast because I guarantee it. Because anytime I talk about homeschool and our approach to it, I always get somebody who would, despite all that we said, do not haven't seen it. And so they just don't believe it and they don't think that kids will be interested in learning things. You know, I'm not saying we're like unschoolers, but they really do pick up things that they're interested in. And there are certain people who will still say this is bad. Like you need to send them to school. No matter what you just said, it's bad, it's wrong, you know, and so I'm always like knowing that there's those people whenever we're talking.
- [30:04]
Dorinda Wilson
Yeah. Well, the thing is that you look at kids, they. They come to us curious, wanting to learn, right? You watch, at first they're sleeping all the time, right? But then eventually, not very long, they're opening their eyes and they're starting to pattern us. They start to smile, they start to do the things that we do, they copy us. And then they begin to talk. Language is a very complicated thing, but it. But a one to two year old,
- [30:29]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
they figure out how to speak without it.
- [30:31]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. And they do it it. Because they're living it and they have a need for it. They want to be able to tell you what they want and they see the results in that. And so there's a motivation there. It's just, it's so natural for them to learn. The problem comes when we force learning on them. They are burnt out by the time they are in 4th, 5th, 6th grade. Especially boys. If you push them too much to start with, you will lose them quicker than you can blink an eye. And they may show up physically for learning, but they are not there. They're not there and they're not learning. And how many boys do we see not thriving in school? Struggling and struggling and struggling? So why are we saying that that system is actually working and everybody should do it? That doesn't make any sense.
- [31:25]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I think some of us just can't think it's outside of the box. And so. Well, the thing is, it's a hundred years, like a viable option to consider. Yeah, right.
- [31:33]
Dorinda Wilson
It's only. They've only been doing it for about a hundred years. This, that's the experiment.
- [31:37]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
That's, you know, our whole life and our grandparents life. So therefore it's all that's ever happened.
- [31:41]
Dorinda Wilson
Right. So if we just, if we expand our thinking just a little bit, and if we know children, even the remotest amount about their development, this will all make sense, you know, and so it's just, it's one of those things that it does take make a shift in thinking, for sure. I mean, even in my enthusiasm to homeschool, because we homeschooled from the beginning, I knew from the time I was a teenager I wanted to homeschool our kids.
- [32:04]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Wow.
- [32:04]
Dorinda Wilson
That. But even then, you know, you have your battles with, you know, this is, this is the way we've done it. The problem is we've seen it done this way. And we may even say, I don't think that's the best way for my kids, but now I have to figure out what is the best way for my kids. And that's the challenge. Exactly.
- [32:19]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Because that's the hard part is you still do. And, and even though, you know, we're not supposed to listen to any of the negativity, you do have people who question you, especially when you're not on the other side of it. So whenever you do have an older boy who can't read, that's just something that moms don't talk about. And I've had lots of private conversations with homeschool moms who say, oh, yeah, well, my son didn't read till he was 9 and he's, you know, 25 now. He reads. Right. But like, we don't talk about that while we're going through it because we think we're the only ones and that it's going to make long. It's going to be a long term you know, detriment to them. Even though I think what you're saying and what I've seen just in my limited experience is the exact opposite. They don't ever feel like they're dumb or they're behind and they're really hungry for knowledge. And so they go through life just picking up way more than somebody who wasn't treated in that same way.
- [33:14]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly, exactly. You're not dealing with the burnout factor. You've got a kid who loves learning, and that's one thing. I've watched all of our kids just continue into adulthood loving to learn. They're constantly sharing with each other and with my husband and me the things we're all kind of like that, you know, where we just love learning new things and sharing it with each other. And so that's a really fun thing to be able to do as a family, as adults. So, yeah, we just want to. We just want to. We want to feed that love of learning that's already there. That's all we have to do is just let their curiosity, let them follow through on their curiosities and just see where it goes.
- [33:54]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. So how did you set up your learning environment to have the tools or what the child needed to explore something like that on their own?
- [34:06]
Dorinda Wilson
Well, if I found that they were interested in something, then I would usually just start by asking questions. So what do you find interesting about that? Okay, well, tell me more. You know, tell me more is one of the best lines we can ever use with our kids because it really opens up that line of communication, encourages them to tell us things. And I noticed that one of the questions that you had sent to me that moms had sent in was about communication with teens. Well, it starts when they're young, when my kids would come in from playing outside or doing anything else in another part of the house and they'd just sort of kind of be walking through the kitchen or whatever, and I would say to them, you been up to, you know, just very chit chatty. And they would start to tell me and I would ask questions and I would have them, you know, tell me more. That right there is huge in setting up an environment where your kids want to tell you the things that they're learning and the things that they're discovering and the things that they're interested in and it didn't stop once they became adults. They walk in the door and they tell me all kinds of stuff about what they're learning and what's going on in their lives. That's what we want. We want that to go all the way through into adulthood. But it's starts when they're younger. And so we want to set up an environment where they feel like they can tell us anything about anything, and we'll be interested, you know, And I think also just in terms of, like, resources, I think start with the simple things like books, videos, YouTube.
- [35:33]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Right.
- [35:34]
Dorinda Wilson
You know, I think kids love to just like, they like to watch. My kids like to watch something and then take a piece of that and go try something.
- [35:41]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Oh, yes.
- [35:42]
Dorinda Wilson
That was typically the. The pattern that went on. And so. Or we'd read something in a book.
- [35:46]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Book.
- [35:46]
Dorinda Wilson
And they were super interested in that. And they would take that thing and they would go experiment with it. And then, of course, I would ask them, do you need anything from me? Do you need wood, duct tape, nails, hammer? What do you need? And they would tell me. They'd come tell me, mom, I need. I need some duct tape. You know. Okay, well, let's. Let's find some, you know, or I'll. When we go into town, I'll make sure I pick some up, you know, so. But a lot of our kids, all of our kids had to learn to be resourceful, though, because we lived way out in Timbuktu, right. We only went into town maybe once a week, so maybe twice. And so that thing would have to wait until I could go in and get it. So they learned to, like, pull stuff out of the shop, dig around out there for tarps and all kinds of stuff. One thing we don't want to do is over resource our kids. Then they get overwhelmed by what we're giving them, and let them be the one to initiate telling you what they need. And you can make suggestions. You could throw stuff out there, but let it be them that tells you, yay or nay. Yes, I need this. No, I don't. And I think that's. I think just keeping it simple is. Is really, really important. But we tend to, like, there's all these kits and there's all these things out there, and they can be wonderful, but we can overwhelm our kids really quickly with too much stuff.
- [36:59]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. And I also will tailor that to the age of the child. So my oldest daughter, she's 15. She is super curious about a lot of things, like, not just the kitchen, you know, My. One of my daughters is more at the kitchen, but she is right now building these downhill. What do you call that thing? Like there's the Awana Grand Prix has this downhill little car thing that they do. And so she's really. Right now and she's trying to figure out how to make it.
- [37:26]
Dorinda Wilson
Like a derby type of thing.
- [37:27]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah, like a derby. And we did it last year too, but they put like, they put weights underneath, but it can only be so many ounces. Whatever she wants for that, I will buy her because, yes, I know that she's going to follow through. Whereas like the other child I'm thinking about that's really curious, loves doing all this stuff. If I get that, he probably will then just be off to something else. And so he's not ready for me to fill the Amazon cart with graphite and weights and.
- [37:55]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes.
- [37:55]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Sanding paper and, you know, all the things.
- [37:59]
Dorinda Wilson
Right. And that's a call every mom has to make. Yeah. So, yes, that's really good that you know your kids that well. And, and, and when he gets older, he'll, he'll know when he, when he's able to handle it that you're willing to, to, to source him, give him the things he needs.
- [38:13]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, we, you know, these days, of course, it can be really easy because we have Amazon. Like, what do you guys need for your various projects?
- [38:20]
Dorinda Wilson
I know, I know.
- [38:21]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
We're always getting like, right now there's a pattern that she had printed off that's in town. We need to go pick up the pattern. We need to order red tulle. She's making a petticoat and a dress for my niece. So, so there's just. They do projects non stop. Like every single day during this block of time. Whenever I have my little office hours, we always ask before everybody goes or separates, oh, what are you working on today? What are you working on today? Everybody's working on something, you know, everybody has something they want to go.
- [38:48]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. Right. Yeah. That's how it was at our house too. We were, we were done at lunchtime. We'd have lunch, we'd take a. I always made my kids do a quiet time, all of them. I just needed to know that it was just gonna be quiet. And every mom has to make that call. But that was my call.
- [39:03]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah.
- [39:03]
Dorinda Wilson
And then, then they would, then they would have two to three hours of just exactly what you're talking about, their project time.
- [39:10]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Project time.
- [39:11]
Dorinda Wilson
Time. When they're building stuff, sometimes they're doing it together, sometimes separately.
- [39:14]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah.
- [39:15]
Dorinda Wilson
But they value that time. And all of my kids have said, thank you for giving us that time every single day. Like, they would be different people had they not had that time. And so. And they know that as adults, and they want to give that to their kids as well.
- [39:29]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Well, yeah. And they all have something. It's very different. I have a couple kids that are very similar, and they like to collaborate on things, but they all have something that they want to work on. They never have, like, I don't know, I'm probably gonna, you know, I don't know. Like, it'd be okay if they want to take a nap, but they never do. They always just want they have something they need to accomplish. And so I like, too, that they have a block of time that they have to self direct and stay motivated to figure out what to do with it. That's cool, because that's a skill that a lot of us come into adult life without. And so then we have to try to figure that out. Like, okay, now I have a whole day. Nobody's telling me what to do, and I got to figure out what to do with it.
- [40:09]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. Exactly. And so what we want to do, what I'm hearing you say is, is basically we want to. We want to grow producers, not consumers. Not that we never consume anything, but that most of our time is speaking spent producing as opposed to consuming, which is the opposite of the culture. So it makes sense that the way that we educate them would be the opposite of the culture. Right. You know, if you want. If you want different results, you have to do something different. And so what. What's the definition of insanity? You keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Well, it's not working, so let's try something else. And you know, I think that it's interesting how any. Any kind of change that they try to make in the school system literally takes 10 to 20 years. Nobody has time for that. Like, if my kid is there now, like, that's their whole. That's their whole school career. And. And I. I just did not want that for my kids. And that's why I. I just said, and my husband was in agreement, let's just. Let's just homeschool these kids K through 12. And we did. And God provided everything we needed. And it was. Was a beautiful journey. Not a perfect one. There was not one single perfect homeschooling day ever.
- [41:23]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
There never was beautiful.
- [41:26]
Dorinda Wilson
No, it was beautiful. It was wonderful. It was an adventure. It was hard sometimes, but I'm telling you, pushing through to the other side of those obstacles builds some serious resilience for us and for our kids and especially when we're doing it together. When our kids know that we're on their side when it comes to everything, their education, their character, you know, they can begin to understand that the discipline that it takes at a certain point, the perseverance that it takes is actually in their best interest. You know, and they trust us. And that's the thing. We want to build trust with our kids. And it's, it's, it's, it's very true with boys as well, you know, as moms. We want to, we want to earn their trust. And one of the ways that we do that is to respect their boyness, respect their God given nature. This does not mean they get to run wild and free and zero parameters, zero boundaries. That's absolutely not true. However, we need to make shifts and changes in our expectations when it comes to their education, when it comes to their, you know, kind of the way their days unfold. We, we have to be willing to respect and honor the way that God has wired them. And so that's a lot of what I talk about in the book. Not only the what, but the how and why. Yeah, and I think that's really important because moms want to know. They, they, they want to know the what. Okay, I'm in agreement on the what, but I'm not really sure. Maybe not sure exactly sure why, but why is our, you know, we've got to have our whys or we're not going to stick with it, it's not going to be sustainable. And then the how, that also has to be sustainable. So, you know, and that's where we have to just be willing to, to do that. Willing to, to honor what, what God has put in our boys.
- [43:14]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yes. And nurture that. One of the questions from the audience in regards to how is how to motivate them when they want to do the bare minimum or show signs of laziness. So we're talking about, you know, curious kids. I, I have those kind and I also have kind that you kind of have to push a little bit more. Right. So what is that? What does that look like? Whenever? Maybe some aren't as self motivated.
- [43:36]
Dorinda Wilson
I would say it's, it's redirection, especially for the ones that sort of like wander off. They're not actually intentionally leaving their chore or their job or whatever it is they're supposed to do. They're just like easily distracted. And so they have to be Trained to stay focused. A timer works really well for that. Because what I would do is set a timer. And if they weren't done in that amount of time, and it was a reasonable amount of time, sometimes I've even have them tell me how long. If they knew what kind of were conscious of what time was, how long do you think this job will take you? And I had one who would always give himself like massive amounts of time. And I would be like, no, no, we're going to compromise. You say 30 minutes, I'm going to say 20. So there we are, 20 minutes, set the timer. And if it wasn't done in that amount of time, I gave them another job. And that would just continue until they got whatever job they were doing done in the right amount of time. There are scriptures and proverbs that talk about the results of laziness. This is something we can talk about as they're, you know, as they're growing up, and mention it along the way, or even study the proverbs with our sons. And see, this is, this is. Proverbs was written from a father to a son. So there is tons of practical, logical, concrete things in there, which boys, that's how they typically think. And so they. I think it's one of the best books we can go through with them, that Proverbs 10:4 says, lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. And we can actually create a scenario where there's a reward or something at the end, maybe not even telling them for diligence. And then if they, they're not diligent, they don't get that thing right. And so it's, it's just natural consequences, which is what our boys respond best to. You know, let that the consequences fit the situation. That helps them make the connection more readily. But Proverbs 12:11 says those who work with their land or work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense. Well, we're going to tell our boys, we, we don't want you to be a fool. We don't want you to be in a habit of chasing fantasies and having no sense. You know, I would try to tell our boys, give them sort of a vision for the future even when they were little. Like, someday you're gonna be a husband and a father and you're gonna, you're gonna work for somebody or you're gonna work for yourself. And you're gonna need to know how to work hard. So we have to practice that right now. Where we are at home. And so sometimes if you've got an older child who, especially who's just a little more. There's a lot more pushback. Maybe, maybe your mom out there who's saying, look, I didn't do this from the beginning because that would be the key thing. Start from the beginning. Shoulder them with responsibilities.
- [46:14]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah.
- [46:14]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes. So if they're already there, my first thing is always talk to your husband. If there's a husband and a dad on the scene that's, you know, that you can talk to about a plan and then can be in agreement on what you're going to do. But my, my suggestion is that maybe we're going to drop schoolwork for several days. If you're homeschooling, you're going to drop schoolwork for several days and you're going to focus just on work. You're going to have a list of tasks that need to be done that you can do alongside of them or have them do it on their own, depending. You know your child best. What, what's, what's going to work best because you want to encourage them, you don't want to exasperate them, but you're going to focus on work. And you can even tell them up front, look, I know you struggle, you sometimes struggle with, with work. So this is something that I really want to make sure that you get a grip on. And so we're going to do this together. And, and you're going to work with them and you're going to give them a heads up that for the next several days we're going to focus. It's going to be like boot camp in the military. Okay. So I'm going to give you a task to do and a certain amount of time to do it. And, and we're just going to continue to do that throughout the day. And you can give them breaks when you think it's appropriate. Again, we don't want to exasperate them. You can have rewards when all over with. I mean, you can, you can arrange it however you think would be the most encouraging without taking responsibility for what's their responsibility. This is something we do as moms. We don't even realize it. We want so badly for our kids to succeed that we kind of like do part of it for them or we take responsibility for it. And in, you know, because kids are really good at flipping on us and basically, you know, know, somehow it's our fault that they didn't get their chore done. And so we have to make sure that we're holding them accountable for what they are responsible for. If you have, if it's not like a big long term problem, it's just kind of an occasional thing. The simpler version of that would be when they complain. If the first words out of their mouth that there is to complain, and this is a habit, we're going to give them another job. Job. So they're gonna, we're gonna say, okay, I need you to, I need you to unload the dishwasher. And they say, why do I have to always do that? You say, okay, you just earned yourself another job. And if you keep talking, there will be another one on top of that. And you will continue to work until you make different choices. This is on you completely. Like they need to know this is your deal. If you make these choices, these are what the results are going to be. And you hold to it, do not waver. You have to be consistent or they will not take you seriously and they will not respect you and they will walk all over you. And so especially with boys, they, they are built to lead, to build, to protect, provide, to conquer. Right? And so we need to give them something to conquer. We need to give them a mission. I heard someone say recently the three questions that are always in boys heads is who's in charge? Charge, who's on my team and what are we trying to accomplish? Yeah, okay, so we need to give them missions and sometimes they will seem meaningless to them and if we can bring some meaning to it, that's great. You know, like I might have my son change a baby's diaper and he'd be like, why do I have to do this? I'm not a woman. You know, whatever. You know how they do that. And you just say, you know what? But you're still probably going to be a dad someday. And there's going to be times you're going to need to change diapers. And look, you are taking care of this little one. What, what would happen if no one changed his diaper? Diaper? He would get a rash. He would be miserable. But you can do something about that. And the scripture says that if we can do something to help someone at all possible, we should do it. And especially if they're weak and they're young and they're vulnerable. So there you go. So there's your mission. So you know, we just want to, we want to direct that, even that angst and that energy towards something productive. We want to move towards, towards, you know, being productive. And what we want also is for them to respond to us in a respectful way. I remember one time, one of our teen boys referred to me as bruh. And I immediately said, I am not your bruh. I am your mom. So you need to just not. That never happened again. Another thing that happened. I'll give you an example of how they want to lead so much. I would be. Be bopping around the house, you know, we'd be homeschooling, all that. All of a sudden, I realized I was no longer in charge. Like, the boys were telling me what to do, and. And I. And I was doing it because. Wait a minute. So anyway. Yeah, wait a minute. Hold on here. So finally I looked at them and I said, listen, I love that you want to lead. I love that you want to protect, provide, and do all the things that your dad does and that you will do someday as a man. Someday you're going to have your own wife and children, your own family lead. This is not that family. I am not your wife. I already have a husband. This is your time of training to get ready for what God has for you. So for now, you need to honor what I'm telling you to do, and you need to be respectful. And then my husband would always, you know, back me up as well if
- [51:28]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
there was any problem with that.
- [51:29]
Dorinda Wilson
So this is the kind of relationship we need to have with our boys as they're growing up. And then as they get into the teen years, we're letting go more and more, and we're allowing them to be men in the ways they need to be. A lot of that involved more time with my husband because he understood better how they needed to make that. That. That trip, that journey from being a boy to a man. And so that's where I leaned hard into him for that. And if you don't have a husband or a dad in the picture, a godly mentor, someone at church. I just recently did an interview with Trail Life usa. Wonderful organization if you're missing that in your son's life. So, yeah.
- [52:14]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Or maybe a grandparent. Those are all.
- [52:16]
Dorinda Wilson
Yeah, I think about that a lot.
- [52:17]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Like, as my oldest son is only. Only. Well, he's just about 11. And so we're not in the teen years with the boys yet.
- [52:25]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [52:25]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
But I think about that how, you know, like you said, they. They really do have the natural desire to lead, and that could probably get sometimes, like, backwards, because sometimes they want to, like, run the whole show. And I have seen that happen with some. Exactly. And I imagine there's going to where you're going to have to let them go more and more when they're teenagers. And yes, it's. Yeah, like you said, a male to help with that is going to be.
- [52:48]
Dorinda Wilson
Right. Right. And they just need to have different experiences, experiences outside the home in their teen years. You know, job shadowing, competitive sports, you know, okay. Things like that. Now, we did. Our boys did. They didn't do competitive sports, but they did some other things like job shadowing and some other. Other things outside the home. But because we had so many boys in the home, they weren't missing that competitive aspect. That was like their daily life. So. So I didn't have to work as hard at that. If I had one or maybe even just two boys, I would probably have to work harder at that.
- [53:21]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I think about that a lot. How so? We had two daughters, and then after that we had six sons. And part of me is like, oh, man, I wish you would have had another girl at some point, you know, but then part of me is like. But in a lot of ways, it's pretty. Like, it's a lot easier. Like, all afternoon, they have something. Some elaborate something going on, I guarantee you out there. And if I just had one, like, I'd feel so bad because he'd be outside just, you know, doing. Who knows, Right. It'd be hard, right. Have a friend.
- [53:52]
Dorinda Wilson
It would be.
- [53:53]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. And they have one son and three daughters. And so she likes to send him over here or have a couple of mine go over there. There. Because she doesn't really know what to do with them. I mean, you know, he's got all that energy, and then he just has sisters and he can be alive.
- [54:07]
Dorinda Wilson
And. Yes, and those boys, they love to spar. I mean, that's how they bond is like competition, physical activity. Like, you and I would just sit down and have a cup of coffee together. Right. You know, like civilized human beings. Right. No, that's not. They get the exact same kind of bonding from beating the tar out of each other.
- [54:28]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
You know, when my sister's son and my son, they see each other start punching, I'm like, hello.
- [54:35]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly.
- [54:36]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
We just walk in. It's the first thing they do. It's just their little ritual.
- [54:40]
Dorinda Wilson
Throw a punch. Yeah, I know that when you look at that and you realize, oh, my gosh, that is who God made them to be. And all of a sudden you begin to appreciate it. And I think that's my hope in the book, is that by the time moms get to the end of it, there is a deep appreciation for the way that their boys are wired and the way that God made them and the ability to be able to laugh at how different they are and how not in a mocking way. Because I think that's something that sometimes happens and we have to be careful as moms that we're not doing that. I think that's something I want to mention about the teen years. It's interesting because boys, boys typically, like, when they're 9, 10, 11, like, they're super helpful. At least mine have been for the most part. They did their chores, they were timely. You know, by then I had trained them to the point where they were super helpful. Then they turned like 13, 12 or 13 somewhere in there and the hormones kicked in. They couldn't remember anything. It was like, what happened to your brain? It's like gone. And once I figured out, oh my gosh, this is hormones, I was able to say to them, I look, your body is working really, really hard to change you over the next several years from a boy to a man. There is a lot going on inside of you. So you're going to have a lot of, you're not going to always feel like yourself and you're going to forget things and I'm going to try to be gracious about that. But you're still ultimately responsible for the things that we, the responsibilities we've given you. So you want to hold them to the standard, but you're going to have a little bit of grace in there and help them know that this is, this is what their journey is like, like for the next several years and that you're in it together and you allow them to go through that process with their dignity intact. You know, it's so important. It's a way to. That we respect them.
- [56:28]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. And that, I think that happens with teens in general. Like, our cultural message about teens is just that they're terrible. And I only have two teen girls at this point. But they're just, they are so helpful as teen girls. I just, it's just such a blessing to have teen girls. Like, I can't agree that they're.
- [56:46]
Dorinda Wilson
It is awful.
- [56:47]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
They're actually fabulous.
- [56:48]
Dorinda Wilson
No, and, and I think a lot of the reason that they are or seem awful is because they're not getting, they're not being understood and they're not maybe raised with, you know, good boundaries, good communication, a good, you know, a good mother daughter and father daughter relationship. All of that makes a huge, huge difference in the teen years. Because there are challenges that come up in the teen years, and it's navigating those where they know you are on their side, you want what's best for them, and sometimes that will be something they're not excited about and. But you have the kind of relationship and mutual respect that they receive it from you, and they're willing to do it even though they don't understand it at the time. Or not do it even though they don't understand fully why at the time. So that's where you want to land in those teen years. Because. Because there are challenges that come up.
- [57:43]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah.
- [57:44]
Dorinda Wilson
Oh, yeah.
- [57:44]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Different, unique.
- [57:45]
Dorinda Wilson
But if you have that relationship like it sounds like you do with your girls, there's so much less, if any, of that. And they're just. They're mostly just a blast. They're mostly just a blast, you know, so.
- [57:57]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Because I feel like we have two extra adults. Right?
- [57:59]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. Their. Their thinking is more complex.
- [58:03]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
We have some vacations planned upcoming. Because I. I feel like we don't. We never really wanted to do vacations with all the kids because it felt like a lot. It's just been the last year or so that I'm like, wait, four. We can do this.
- [58:17]
Dorinda Wilson
Right?
- [58:18]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
It's true. You know, we can get through the airport because.
- [58:21]
Dorinda Wilson
Right.
- [58:22]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Two other adults. Like, this is great.
- [58:24]
Dorinda Wilson
Exactly. Exactly. I remember that moment, too. I remember that moment when I. When I didn't have to hire a babysitter if I needed to run to the grocery store, or I didn't have to have my husband stay with them, or if my husband and I wanted to go out for a little bit, we could actually leave, you know?
- [58:41]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah.
- [58:41]
Dorinda Wilson
Um, and. Yeah. And then also the vacations. Like, who wants to go someplace and do all the things you do every day without everything at your fingertips? Like, yes. It's.
- [58:51]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
It's.
- [58:51]
Dorinda Wilson
It's. It's like camping. I hate camping. And I know that that's it. Homeschoolers typically are like campers.
- [58:59]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
I don't like it.
- [58:59]
Dorinda Wilson
We're supposed to like it. I hate it. I'm like, why would I take my already challenging job and go make it a hundred times harder?
- [59:06]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. No, absolutely.
- [59:07]
Dorinda Wilson
So, yeah, you're right. You get to that point where you've got those older kids, you're like, wait, we could do this. We could actually take a trip, so you should do it.
- [59:14]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah, I just. I just. It's just started occurring to me, like, in the last year, that all the things I'm imagining about the trip is when I imagine having no other adults helping me. Right. They're exactly graduated to that level. They're like as big as an adult, so they can know they can handle a toddler, handle a suitcase. So we, we booked a few things because we can.
- [59:35]
Dorinda Wilson
Good for you. Good for you. Good for you.
- [59:37]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Well, I feel like I could quiz you and take all of your knowledge and all of your years of experience and just, you know, forever get advice from you. But you have your books. So tell us about your new book when it's releasing, where to find it, and then anything else you want to share for the listeners to follow along with.
- [59:57]
Dorinda Wilson
Okay. Yes, you can find my book, Raising Boys to Men, a simple, mercifully short book on raising and homeschooling boys. It's about 100 pages long, so it's probably three hours or less read. We are, we should have the audio version out as well. It releases March 5th and you can find it on Amazon or you can find it at my website, durindawilson.com and then, of course, I talk frequently or have spoken frequently about boys on my podcast, the Darenda Wilson Podcast.
- [60:25]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Oh, perfect. That is going to be so encouraging for so many moms. Thank you so much for joining us.
- [60:31]
Dorinda Wilson
Yes. I am also on Instagram. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
- [60:34]
Lisa (Host of Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast)
Yeah. As always, thank you so much for listening. And I will see you in the next episode of the Simple Farmhouse Life podcast.
- [60:49]
Dorinda Wilson
Sam.