← Simple Farmhouse Life
Simple Farmhouse Life
269. Leaving the farmhouse, what I wish I’d known as a young mom, why we are minimalists, and more Q&A!
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It'S okay if you don't remember and recall every little thing, so don't even know what you're going to use the information for. And it's just already a lot. Get your simple meals on the table. Get a load of laundry done a day. Do some maybe like 10, 15 minutes of cleaning per day so you keep up with it. Read a couple books to the children. And then beyond that, just try not to think that there's a million more things beyond that that you need to get done in order to be a good mom. My name is Lisa, mother of eight and creator of the blog and YouTube channel Farmhouse on Boom. On this podcast I like to talk about simplifying your life so you can live out your priorities. I help you learn how to cook from scratch and decorate on a budget. This podcast and my courses Simple Sourdough and the Simple Sewing Series. I also help people reach their goals from home through my business courses Create youe blog Dream and YouTube Success Academy. I will leave links to these resources in the Show Notes in Description box below. Now let's get into the Show. Welcome back to the Simple Farmhouse Life podcast. Today I'm going to do another one of my solo episodes where I take questions and answers. This is the first solo episode here in our in between home. While we are building our farmhouse on acreage. I did get lots of questions about why we moved somewhere in between time. And I shared a pretty lengthy video over on my main channel, my pharmaceon Boone channel. Some people said you spoke way too much. So I probably gave too lengthy of an explanation as to why. But just one of the really short answers was financially. We are the type of people who like to do things with cash. I talk about that a lot on here. And we bought a much less expensive home that we can use later for a rental. And we sold the more expensive properties that we have that cash to put into the property that we are building. So this gives us more cash to deal with here. So that is one of the reasons that we did it this way. We knew we eventually would like to expand into having a few rental properties. This is something that we've been wanting to do for so long. We've put offers on places and then we've had inspections fall through. We've had offers that someone else outbid us when the market was really crazy. The market is not near as crazy here at this point. And so we were able to get started in this by living in this beautiful Italianate home in the meantime. So we really are enjoying it. We are very settled in at this point. The kids have a lot of things about living in town that they're really enjoying. We thought it would be a really fun 9 months ish adventure living in town while our home is built now, hopefully it doesn't take a ton longer than that. We plan to spend a lot of time out at the farm, enjoying that and spending a lot of time, you know, with the builders and the whole process to make sure that we get this designed how we want it. I have been told by so many people who build a home that it's really important to stay very, very close to the build site because you have a vision for how you want this to go. I mean, I totally do. I have thought through every single detail of this house just way too much. And I have a lot of things I want to do. Some weird things I want to do. Like there are certain parts of the home that I want to put in. Salvage wood floors and paint them. Not like the main areas, but the attic, for example. I want to put in old doors and I don't know, you know how that's all going to work out or if my contractor is even going to like all that. But I know I need to be there advocating for the end result, which I want it to look authentically old, a new, old farmhouse. So I know that it's going to require a lot of me because it's not just a standard build. It's not just a, you know, like a cookie cutter type of house, or at least that's how I'm hoping it's not going to be. So I'm trying to stay very on top of it and very close to the whole thing. So that's the reason why we are putting our focus there, living in this house in town. We also didn't really want to live in our home during the selling process. Now, we still ended up overlapping a little bit too much with that we were planning to be out and then have it on the market. Well, we. Once we kind of got the house on the market, we decided that we wanted to rip up all the carpet in this house. Now, we originally, at least, Luke was thinking, and I was thinking, really holding on to hope that that wasn't going to be the case, that we wouldn't remove the carpet, since this is going to be a rental. But I just thought this house is going to be absolutely stunning if the carpets are out of it. And we didn't know what was underneath. We had no idea we weren't able to peek under the carpet at all before actually purchasing the home. But I assume, just based on the other details in the home, that it would be something really beautiful. Well, it turns out every floor in the house is white oak even going. Well, not every floor. Some of the bathrooms, some of the additions aren't, but every floor of the main house is white oak. They even carry it into the closets, most of them. So it turned out to be such a detail that, you know, will really be a selling factor for this home for potential renters, or if we end up down the line, wanting to sell it as an investment type of thing. Having these white oak floors exposed and finished was something that I think was a good decision. Luke ended up coming around to wanting to look underneath the carpets as well. So he ripped all those out. Then we actually had them sanded and stained. So we weren't just, you know, quickly into this house. It wasn't like the second we bought it, we were able to move in because we decided to do all that. So it overlapped a bit. And at the time of recording, our house is under contract. I believe by this time this comes out it should be fully sold and we are going to put our full effort and focus into the new farm and the new build and building that out. Of course I'm so tempted in this house to do so many things, but I am just going to let it as it is. Like now that the floors are nice and we have to do a little bit in the bathrooms and the kitchen. The floors under those weren't white oak because they were at some point in addition. But once we get that flooring done, that's it. I don't want to do any other types of renovation. I'm even tempted to like do a bunch of drapery and curtains. I'm like, no, just leave it how it is and put your whole focus on this new build. Okay, first question on my Q and A. Which if you need to I know you all have heard me say this if you listen to these episodes, but if you'd like to submit a question, head over to Bit Ly Capital S, capital F, capital L. Questions. Questions is lowercase. It is case sensitive. I'll also leave it linked below, but there's an ongoing list of questions that I get to see on my end that you don't have to submit on social media. So you know, no matter what, you can enter your questions and it makes a nice way for me to see what it is that you all want to hear me talk about. So this is the first one for today. When you were home with only little kids, how did you manage putting the toddler down for naps with a new baby who likes to be baby worn? I'm adjusting to naps with my 2 year old and with a new baby so depends on how little the baby is. When they're really really small. I can get away with handling the toddler while still wearing the baby because they almost sleep through anything once. They're more in that three months, you know up to six months age when you're still baby wearing, but they can easily be woken up and miss out on their naps. If you are doing things with a toddler while also wearing the baby. This is not super fresh in my mind to be honest with you, but some babies will tolerate something like a mamaroo swing. I had a few that would do that. Some will be okay with you laying them in a safe space for a short time while you put the toddler down for nap as long as they can't roll off or get into anything like maybe a pack and play or something like that. If they fuss a little bit while you are tending to your toddler, to me, that is totally fine. I think we forget that it's okay if babies fuss and cry a little bit. And so it all feels very urgent. Well, this one needs me and this one's crying. And so therefore, you know, I can't be in two places at once, because you cannot. That's not actually possible. So you have to sometimes just choose which is the most pressing thing. Well, the toddler needing a nap is a very pressing thing. And once you get done with that, you can put all of your focus and attention on the baby. So to me, if you have to put the baby down for a short time and he or she cries, that's okay. And then try to make the toddler nap time routine not so extensive like you could when you just had one baby. Maybe you read them four or five books and sang a song and did a little dance and got them water. You know, sometimes we get these routines. And I have been in that phase of life even recently. I had it to where when I put the youngest three boys to bed, other than Victor, so I put Victor to bed, then do the three up from him. I'd have to read them each a book, I'd get them water. We had this whole thing, and then when we moved, it kind of got reset because life was crazy for a few weeks. And now I put all the boys to bed at one time. It's a bit different. It just kind of happened that way. But I let the bedtime routine turn into a very long ordeal, which was fine because I didn't have anything else I really needed to do, so it was no problem. But if you do have something else that you need to do, it's okay to shorten that and your children will quickly get used to the new routine. So if right now you have a screaming baby because they had to be laid down for a minute while you're dealing with the toddler, maybe it's time to say, hey, we're going to just start reading one small book, and I'm going to bring you a sippy cup, and that's it. Once Mommy leaves, that's it. Sometimes my kids, like, they get used to me, you know, kind of doing that stalling thing that they do where they're like, oh, but now I need this, and now I need this. And the more that you do it, the more that they'll. They'll take. They always come up with something else. And I got to the point with my, my kids Those three that I had this really long routine with where after I felt like I had done all the things, I read them all their books. I did the water. Sometimes I'd bring up cheese because they like a little bedtime snack. You know, I'm like really of letting them, I'm letting this thing get away from me. Whenever I'm walking out the door, they're still talking. They're like, but I would ask you one more question. You know, they're just stalling. They're trying not to have to go to bed. I said, mommy, I'm leaving. I'm going to shut the door now guys, I'm shutting the door. And you know, they get used to that and it's okay just because they're, you know, they're, they don't really have an urgent question for you. They just don't want to go to bed. And we know that. And it's okay to shorten things, to prioritize, you know, which kid needs my attention more right now? The other one just going to have to wait. Imagine if you had twins. There's probably always one kid crying and they probably turn out okay. So I just try to remember that crying isn't always the most urgent thing. I get people that ask me, well, how do you cook if you know you have a toddler clinging to your leg who's crying? And you know, a lot of times I'm just cooking with a toddler clinging to my leg who is crying. I don't have to pick that child up because right now it's very necessary that I make dinner for the entire family. So I hope that that answers your question and gives you permission to it not be the end of the world if either one of those children cries while you are tending to the other one. Okay. Are you intentionally keeping your kids faces out of frame when filming or is this just your style? Noticing that when the girls are in the kitchen, we usually just see their hands or backs. Boys playing often have their heads out of the frame. Just curious if this is for their privacy. So yes, I have started feeling way, way, way more private on just about every front. I don't know if that's because I'm getting older or the kids are getting older. Nobody has expressed any desire to be out of the content. I know a lot of people like I have, I have family members who some of their kids with their content or like they don't want to be in it. And so of course they respect that. My kids are not like that. They're like, put me in, put me in. I'd love to be in it. And they even make their own short films. And my son tries a YouTube channel, which I don't let him post very much at all because not everything is really worthy of being on YouTube. Like, it needs a little bit of refining. And then also, you know, if it shares, like, private details, I don't let them put that on there. But it is not that they don't want their faces shown. They totally are more the type of kids who enjoy that kind of thing. But I just have learned more and more that what I put out on the Internet, I can't take it back. And it doesn't have to be. I don't have to share that much. Like, even details about my life. I don't actually have to share that much in order to. To still share my message, to encourage you in your homemaking, to show you how to make bread from scratch, to share, like, how our life is going, but without a lot of the details. And I'm way, way more conscious of that these days. I think it's because the Internet just doesn't feel like an innocent, safe place like it used to. So when I first started sharing online back in late 2015, early 2016, the Internet just felt like a very safe, happy place. And I don't mean safe in like a. There weren't like, predators and weird, you know, people like, trying to find other people that's always existed. I don't mean that. I more mean in the way that people responded in the negativity. I think that the longer the Internet has been around, people have let it consume their lives and they can't even look at it without some kind of negative thought. And so there's always, like, literally, no matter what you do when you share online, people are very negative. They will say things that just aren't true. They will make assumptions about your life that just are not true. They will gossip about you. They will make entire videos about that. If you go, all you have to do is go on Instagram for 10 minutes, get on, like, watch two or three reels. Not necessarily mine, just any reel, just anywhere on the Internet. Go down to the comment section and it will be people arguing and saying how this person shouldn't have done it this way and attacking that person for something they literally have no idea about. That all shifted. I feel like sometime around 2020 and beyond, it just got worse and worse and worse, and I just don't want to give people the fodder for that. Now, does it really matter? No. I mean, it doesn't really affect anything. I don't have any, you know, like, people approaching me and saying weird things. I just don't like it. I don't like giving people very much information because then they turn it into things that they don't even know. And I always feel the need, like, I have a temptation always to defend myself. And I just don't like being misunderstood. And so the less I give, the less people have that. And it is a shame because 99% of people really aren't in comment sections and don't waste their lives doing stuff like that. But it's there on every piece of content you put out, because there are enough people who are like that. And it's just the Internet has gotten so, so incredibly ugly. I keep the Instagram app off my phone, but then I get on it. Like, I'd say probably on average once a week, I download the Instagram app and I get on there and just, like, look at things I see, you know, how's my content doing? How, you know? Cause I have somebody that helps me make the content on there. I, you know, scroll through the DMs really quick to see if there's anything I need that needs my attention. So, of course, while I'm on there, I'm, you know, looking at the search bar and looking at a few people. I'm like, oh, what's so and so up to? And then I'm seeing the ones that just pop up in the search part, you know, where it's just, like, recommending random stuff to you. And then I'll watch something, and then I'll be in the comment section, and I'm like, ugh, it got ugly just within seconds. Like, takes no time to find the ugliness. And some people kind of thrive on that. Like, I know people who. They kind of like that drama. They like when they put stuff out there, and then people hate it. It's, like, kind of fun for them, like, to have something that they're really confident about that they know they're right about. Which I understand. There are things that I'm really confident about, but I don't really. I do not like the response of, you're wrong and I hate you, and you're, you know, you're a terrible person. I don't like that. Like, I. It just bothers me way more than it should. And so I have taken on this more private and guarded role because of that, where it used to be really fun to just like, share freely because I felt like everybody was nice. And I learned over time they absolutely are not nice. And so that's why, yes, I have become way more private. There's a lot about the new farm, the new place that I'm just like, I don't, I'm not. I'm not going to be on the Internet forever. So if I share it, then I can't ever take it back. And more years that we live there, I won't be on the Internet than I will. And so I can still have a successful creator business, or at least I have been able to so far. Can't speak always for the future without just sharing many details and without sharing much info about my kids or even, like, their appearance. And so I'm just kind of in the phase of life, like, I'm almost 40, I'm in my 40th year, where I'm like, I'm not going to be doing this forever. And there's really private ways to make an income online, like my blog and, you know, certain ways of creating content that I'm just kind of tired of the negativity. I don't like it and I really just shouldn't care at all. But it's a weird thing knowing that, like, there's a conversation happening about you that you're not stepping into moderate. Because I refuse to look at certain things. Like, I just absolutely refuse because it'll make me mad and it'll make me feel the need to, like, step in and be like, that's not true. And so I just, I don't get people. I don't like the drama. But the Internet is not a sweet, innocent, happy, little, like, encouragement place anymore. I try to still put that out there, and I plan to keep putting that out there. I love to, but the details I'll just share for my real life friends because I'm too scared of these Internet folks.
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I have been drinking a morning smoothie for years. I like to pack in probiotics and vitamins and protein and greens. And a few months back I started adding in AG1 because it has vitamins and minerals, adaptogens, pre and probiotics, antioxidants, superfoods and AG1. Ingredients are sourced for absorption, potency and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition that we need to keep going. Now, AG1 does not have to be taken in a smoothie form. That's just how I like to do breakfast.
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So it makes it really easy for me.
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It can also be mixed into water or whatever. Drink that you are drinking in the morning and they have it to where you can just conveniently put a scoop in. Or the travel packs help you stay consistent. When traveling for the holidays, I like to do frozen fruit, raw milk, kefir, a scoop of AG1 and some collagen peptides. It's also excellent for digestion and gut health. So this holiday season, try AG1 for yourself or even gift it to someone special. It's the perfect time to focus on supporting your body with an easy and surprisingly delicious daily health drink. And that's why I'm so excited to be partnering with them. And AG1 is offering new subscribers a free 76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2 and five free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out drinkag1.comfarmhouse to get this offer. That's drinkag1.com farmhouse to start your new year on a healthier note Creating really.
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In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY businesses on Shopify POS see real results like 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed. Want more? Check out shopify.com farmhouse all lowercase and learn how to create the best retail experiences without complexity. Shopify.com farmhouse how are you staying sane through the move with all your kiddos? My husband and I are hoping to move our two littles into a bigger house before long and I'm just wondering if you have any tips. Congrats on the exciting developments. I will miss the farmhouse, but so excited for your family. So I didn't stay sane through the move for I'd say approximately six days. Those were not sane days leading up to packing. It didn't really worry me. I didn't really think about how big of a job it would be, which actually worked to my benefit because it didn't. I didn't get, like all worked up about it. Like, oh, no, this is going to be a really big deal. I kind of forgot that it was a big deal. And I already had it in my head that I was such a minimalist that it was going to be really easy. And, you know, we're just going to, like, pack up a few boxes and then move to the new house. And when you start pulling every single item out of every single drawer, cabinet, cupboard that you have, all of a sudden, just the amount of stuff we had multiplied by a hundred. And I had no idea. And even after kind of packaging it all up, there were things that I was like, why do we still have this? I have no idea why I have this. But most of the items, I would say we're fairly essential for a family of 10, especially one that's going to be moving to a farm where we're still going to need a lot of these things. Like, we kept the milk stanchion. We kept the. The, like big. We have containers for the grain for our cow that, you know, she passed away a little over a year ago, or no, a little under a year ago. But anyways, we kept all of that because we are going to be getting a dairy cow. I kept all of the cheese making equipment because we're still going to be doing that even though we're in town now. But all that to say we had so much stuff, but I did not realize that we had a lot of stuff. I think just the way I had it organized and the fact that we had a big barn, I didn't really notice. So I think that helped because I was very naive about what it entailed. And then I spent Wednesday through about Friday packing. Friday we went out all day for my daughter's birthday. So I actually only got like a few hours, like in the morning and in the evening working on it. And then Saturday we actually hired movers. I've never done that before, but I felt like we had a lot of big pieces and furniture and I just wanted to not make this a huge ordeal. Well, it still was a huge ordeal because we spent all day that day moving things. And then the really, really hard part about moving, which ended up taking, I would say, a solid three or four days, was unpacking and figuring out where everything needed to go. This is a whole new house. It has, you know, different Cabinets and locations for everything. Figuring out, okay, what is the most convenient place to put our instant pot? Doesn't have a basement. So where do we keep, you know, things that we're going to be moving to the farm but aren't going to be using for the entire 9ish? I keep saying 9 months. Like the house is going to be done in nine months. I've heard six. I've heard a year. Splitting the difference. We'll probably be here a year. Let's face it. I hope not. But possibly. So figuring all of that out and then figuring out, okay, we got to keep some of these boxes maybe to give to a friend, just like, can we get rid of some Now? Out in the country, you just make a big fire and you. You burn stuff like that here. It's in town. I didn't think we could probably do that. So anyways, figuring out, like, what to do with all the stuff and put it all away. We did some of it on that Sunday, but then we went to church, we went to my parents for Thanksgiving, and so, you know, wasn't that much done that day. I would say by about Tuesday, we were feeling pretty good. There's projects, too, like, you know, hanging up smoke detectors in every room and some art that you want in this certain place. We hung our frame TV in the. The living room. We learned that the wall that we were hanging it into, as we were, you know, trying to screw in the little brackets, was actually brick because the room next to it was an addition. We didn't notice that, so we didn't have a masonry bit, just all of those little things. It was stressful. I would say, yeah, for about a week. But then after that, I felt very settled in. I knew where everything was going, where to put things away. I felt very organized, and it was fine. So all that, to say about a week of our lives, was pretty chaotic, but really not much beyond that. And so I'm thankful that in one week's time you can get completely moved and settled in. I do attribute that success, we call that success, to really spending a lot of time decluttering leading up to that. So I known that we were going to be moving for several months. I knew that, you know, we were going to be building on this new farm. And so I really just started decluttering more and more and more and realizing how much simpler even our house felt during that time. Just not having excessive stuff is the way to live all the time, but especially a really great way to prepare for a move. So with all of that upfront work, I mean, you cannot pack a mess. I just kept thinking that as I was packing, there were certain spaces that were messy. And I'm like, you can't pack a mess. You got to first clean it all up, get it all organized, then pack it. So getting the mess taken care of, the clutter taken care of beforehand, will lead to a very smooth transition. And I will say a week's time, you can get the whole thing packed up, moved, and unpacked. That was my experience. Okay, how do you handle the constant incoming? Kids, Stuff. My kids will spend time with my parents, and they constantly either buy them something or let them take stuff from their house. While it's not large things, it might be notepads, pens, books, envelopes. It's overwhelming to continually have stuff coming in. I want my kids to enjoy a simple life with less, but when others are constantly giving them junk, I don't know how to address the situation. So I am kind of really like, I've gotten my muscle built up on getting rid of things. If something doesn't have a place, like some of the things you said, notepads, pens, books, envelopes. We have a pretty good spot for those things. Like, if I. If they have envelopes, I could put them in the envelope section. You know, if they're envelopes that I think we'll actually use. If they're like, you know, an odd size that we won't have for mailing actual mail, I wouldn't put them in there. I'd probably just throw them straight in the trash, to be honest. Notepads, you know, we have a section for that in our school area. Pens. We have one big basket. Now, that's something that we establish here. Whenever I was cleaning up the last house to pack it all up, we had, like, a bag of pins here and markers here, and they were all mixed up. It wasn't like it was like markers in its own special spot. And then pens. It was like some colored pencils, some markers. We had writing utensils here and there, and there was several spots. So in this house, I got this big basket, and I said, anything that you write with, I don't care what it is, put it into this basket. And we're kind of bad at organizing in our family. We need something very straightforward like that. Even though it seems like it'd probably be better to have a bunch of small containers with, like, markers, colored pencils, crayons, pins were more the dump it all in, because now we actually know where it goes. And where to get it type of people. So I would have a place for those pins. If we had too many pins, I would just seriously throw them away. If you're feeling overwhelmed, just think of the cost of that stress to you and the time investment for categorizing all this stuff and know that it's not just free stuff, it's actually costing you. So, you know, a lot of times what I'll do is I'll let my kids kind of play with the thing and get all excited about it. And then my kids tend to really forget. Some people's kids that I know very well that are close to me, they don't forget. And so it's a lot harder in her family because her kids have more of a they just take care of their things in general better, which is really nice for some things, but then also even like very small, insignificant things they want to hold on to. So it kind of depends on your kids. But for mine, they completely forget that something exists altogether. Like, they get like, especially the smaller ones, they get big ideas and then they're all excited and then like within a day or two, it's like, it's con. It's just completely out of their head. So you could get some kind of bin where you put the things until the kids stop asking about it and then get rid of it. You know, if it's super, super overwhelming and it just feels like crazy chaos all the time, Honestly, if you have to just get rid of it right then and there, it's okay. I think it's worth your peace and your sanity. Hi, could you please speak to your approach to dressing toddlers for outdoor play in winter? We'd love to embrace the no bad weather, only bad clothing mentality, but struggling to find things that will keep our toddler warm enough to be happy outside without constraining his movement so much he can't climb and play. We're also hoping to potty train this winter. I'm really dreading the idea of dealing with accidents while he's wearing a million layers coveralls, etc. How have you dealt with this in your family? And it says both specific brands, items and tips and strategy recommendations would be appreciated. I don't actually feel like I have the best answer for this because it really depends on your climate. Where we are in Missouri, we actually deal with a fairly mild winter now. We can have pretty cold weather and if it's like 10 or below, because we have such great winters, we don't really have to go outside on days like that because those are so few and far between that we would just sit that out and not worry about it. I would say most days here in the winter probably average around 30 degrees for the high. So we have a pair of like Burn or Bernie coveralls. It's kind of like Carhartt actually. Not coveralls or just the overalls. And then a matching coat for every one of the boys. It's more of that fabric material. So it's not the waterproof material because we don't get snow very much. We actually have already had a few snows this year that's not super common. Normally we just have cold but not really wet. So for us it makes more sense to have those very sturdy materials because they don't rip like a snow pant would very easily. They really tend to last. We can pass them down to each kid but. And they keep them very warm. And what we'll do is like this year I need to head up to the store and get a set for my oldest son. And then the other ones all pass down through the kids so they just kind of all like move down as the kids get bigger. So we do have six sets of boy Bernie overall type things and matching coats for every kid. Now the girls have more of like a snow gear set because they've gone skiing and so they have snow pants and snow coats and they can take care of themselves because they're 16 and 14. And you know, my older boys can as well. But for a lot of those toddlers, that's what we do. And then you know, just like mittens. Definitely not gloves. Getting all of their fingers in gloves is super frustrating. Hats I will say you mentioned it. Not constraining their movement. That totally does. They hate wearing them. They always say no coveralls because on days where it's bearable, like today they're outside. It's like what is it right now? Probably 30. No, it's not 30, it's 50. So it's very nice. It's a little bit windy, but it's nice enough that they're just wearing coats and jeans. And I don't even think they're wearing gloves today because it's nice enough. That's most of the days here. But those, those like thick Carhartt style overalls is what works best for us. But like you said, they, they aren't great for their movement. They're very puffy. But I feel like almost anything that's going to really keep them warm is going to be like that. Now of Course you could do layers but like I said, it's a hassle. I like the fact that these coveralls, as long as they're wearing some pants, they put that suit over in the coat, they're good enough for most weather. And so it's a very easy approach when I'm dressing several kids to go outside. Now most of the time for Victor we don't put those on him. We have like a one overall type of suit. It's just like it has the arms, it has the mittens, it has the hat, the feet and it's just a quick zip up. That's really nice for babies who aren't walking. A lot of times Luke will put him in a carrier and carry him around outside. And so that's like super easy. But for the three year old, the five year old and the seven year old, I'm putting them in that Carhartt type of thing. And you know, as far as potty training, you know, I don't know what age your, your child is. I would probably just wait till spring so you don't have to worry about that this winter. I agree with you. Having accidents and all those layers, that's not something I would want to do. Now what you could do is just have him wear undies when he's inside and then put him in a diaper when you go outside. This is me being you know, like way down the line. I have eight kids and so just like eh, I don't think I would deal with that. But I understand that probably like the 25 year old me, potty training, my 19 month old would have not agreed at all with my current like way that I do things. But I would, I would totally like Theodore, he's three, he's potty trained so he wears undies underneath his coveralls. But if he was still having accidents we would totally be putting on a diaper before he went out there even, even at age 3. But he does not, so I don't worry about it. But yeah, because then if he has an accident then you're going to have to wash and dry all of that clothing before you can even go outside again. And most likely with little kids they go outside in very small doses when it's very cold. They don't stay out for multiple hours because they get uncomfortable with all of the clothing on them. And so you know, you could just do a diaper for the, let's face it, less than an hour he'll be out, then he'll want to come back in and I'm saying he, this child might be a girl, but I've had so many boys, I think I forget about toddler girls. He might want to come back or she, he or she might want to come back in, you know, hang out inside for an hour. Then they want to get dressed up and go back out again. So I think just having a diaper on for those little occasions would be really nice. I'm a new mother of two, under two and I'm struggling to manage it all. It feels like I'm not able to do anything well enough in terms of taking care of my toddler, newborn and household. How do you deal with multitasking with young children? Thanks for any advice, Lisa. I have been feeling tremendous guilt that my toddler doesn't have as much attention as she once did for me. Okay, our generation, this is the reason that we are so overwhelmed. And this, I don't know, this could be a controversial take, but that's the Internet. So we are able to keep up with, you know, doing like the basic stuff, right? Like cooking a simple meal, running a load of laundry a day, making sure the kids have their clothes on and their diapers changed and all of that. We're able to do that. But what you're saying that you're afraid you're failing at is the attention. So you, you believe. Because I understand, like I've totally. I probably believe this too in some form or fashion. I probably have mom guilt about this as well. But we are always believing these days. Like moms back in the day did not have to worry about this at all. But it sounds like you're home with your kids and you're fearing that you are ruining your child and your toddler by not giving them like the right kind of attention or spending the right amount of time with them. This is a new pressure placed on moms that I don't think really has existed for generations. And it, it's, it brings us so much guilt and worry that just feeling like, you know, you're probably getting done like the basic stuff, but maybe you feel like you need to read your toddler, you know, X number of books or teach him to read or. I don't even know. I don't keep up too much anymore with all of this stuff. But there's a million things that you're supposed to do. It's supposed to be perfect. And I just feel like for a parent to be expected to get all that stuff done, but then also give one on one attention the entire day to A child is just not actually possible. Like, you're. It's okay if the child is playing with blocks in the other room while you're making dinner. You have to make dinner. The baby needs to eat right. Or while you're doing laundry. I think a lot of this, like, sense of overwhelm and feeling like you're not getting it all done is really just the feeling like you need to be doing something more that's probably not really necessarily required of you. You know, you're home with these kids, you know, you're probably, like, doing all the basic stuff, but still feeling like there's some, like, groundbreaking, like, psychological thing you're supposed to be doing one on one with the child. Or there's like, this magic number of time that you're supposed to spend with both children, and now that you have this other baby, it's dividing your attention. I think it's a lot of pressure, and I don't even think that it's necessary. I don't know. I just think we all put a lot of extra pressure on ourselves these days and think that we will permanently ruin all of our children if we don't do XYZ thing. And it's a lot. What's your favorite part of homemaking and homesteading? Like, what's one thing you could do over and over without feeling burnt out? You guys might not believe me. You might think I'm just saying this, but definitely sourdough. Not joking. Love it. Love making all various forms and varieties of sourdough, which is why I do it so much. But truly, anything in the kitchen, really. I mean, there are certain things in the kitchen I don't really like as much. Baking is definitely something I like a little bit more, but I. Yeah, I don't get tired of making sourdough. Now. There are times where there's a lot of other things that we need to do. Like you mentioned, you know, there's a lot of household things and kids that need attention. And so when all of that is kind of begging for your attention, it's hard to get in the kitchen. But I truly enjoy it. All right, I'll take one more today. Hi, Lisa. With a large family, I'm curious how you do baby books. Some sort of keepsake or journaling for each kid and their important milestones, memories. I have three under four and already feel behind. I have baby books, but they don't feel manageable for busy motherhood and multiple kids wondering how I'll be able to do something like this while I Keep having more kids. Appreciate any tips. Thanks. So this is another one of those things that I let go a long time ago, but I totally could have written this entire question if I was writing into a podcast somewhere around 10 years ago when I had my third and I had baby books for my first and my second, and they were all filled out, and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt about my third. So this is another one of those things. Like, just, like, we have so many random pressures on us these days that people just didn't think about back in the day. I don't. You know, we kind of, like, glorify the past. Like, oh, well, they didn't think about it then. Then who cares? Like, you know, we don't have to worry about it now. I know that that's not always the case. Just because they didn't do it back then doesn't mean, you know, that it's the best thing. But, okay, for example, we don't have. I don't have a baby book to look back on. My mom does not have a baby book. And if she does, I haven't seen it. Mom need a baby book. I don't know. But I guarantee you, for all three of my younger sisters, like, there's not some baby book that we can go find. And guess what? We haven't even thought about it. Like, we're so focused now on all of the grandkids and all the cute, funny things that they're saying and how they're growing and, you know, oh, let's make her a little dress for my little niece. And let's, you know, put the boys all together in their overalls for a little picture and, oh, they should take them to this place because it'd be so cute to see her with this. We're not thinking, like, okay, what was Lisa saying and doing at age 14 months? I haven't. That has not crossed my mind. I don't think it's crossed my mom's mind. And so I started to realize this sometime around my third or fourth kid. I was so stressed about this, like, gotta have baby book. Everybody's maybe book. Like, you have to. Maybe your kids will think you hate them if you don't have a baby book. There's no baby book for any child of mine past the second. Now I think I actually bought one for my third. And then, like, you know, I had two other kids, so I forgot to put stuff in it. And I have no recollection of when he got his first tooth. I don't know what his first word was. But I still have the child and he's growing and I'm focused on the 11 year old version of that third child and what he needs right now. And I remember that he crawled somewhere around eight to nine months. I remember that. I remember that he walked around 13 months. I know he wasn't my earliest teether because that was my fourth. He got one at five months. You know, you have these memories and there's like a nice little collection of memories that I have for the kids. Like I have some cute, funny things that really stuck around because we all said it a ton and we have so many words around our house that we all still say for a certain word because some kid at some point said that and it just stuck and that's just the way that you say that thing now. We have some photo books from, you know, a few vacations that we've done. We have the really important memories saved because they were important to us. But I don't find myself in my life and I know some people are more the types that like to kind of like look at things from the past and dwell on like this, this happened at this time and remember when they said this. And some people make that more of a regular part of their lives. I don't. So other than the guilt of feeling like I need to make this baby book because this is what moms do, every kid has a baby book. Other than that guilt, I am not missing those items in my life. Like I said, My 16 year old and 14 year old, I do have a baby book for them. I don't even know if I could find it right now. Hopefully it's on the bookshelf because if it's not, it's gone. But I have not in the last, I want to say at least 15 years for my oldest, like probably since she was one. I don't think I've opened that thing. I don't know why I would look in. I don't even know like what I need to see from it to like what I need to confirm and what you know. I kind of remember some very like things that stood out, like if a child was really big or really small at a certain age, like those things are in my brain, but other than that they're probably just about average. And so to, you know, go back and pull up that information maybe for some kind of medical purpose. I, I've never had to do it. And so I don't understand this pressure we have on ourselves for so many things that Just really aren't significant. And, ugh, the amount of stress I had for just the baby book specifically, that was such a guilt one for me. Like, people almost, you know, made it seem like if you didn't make your child a baby book, they were going to feel unloved by you. I don't even know if, like my youngest four, even know that there's such a thing as a baby book at this point because they've been so insignificant to our lives. So this is just my permission to tell you that you don't have to have a baby book. Now, some people, they might have 10 kids, 12 kids. And I have a friend, she has a picture. She does a picture on her Facebook every single month. She has 11 kids for all of her kids. She's always done that since I've known her. She'll have you know this child's name and this month and she puts them on the little blanket that's important to her. And so she does it. But for those who it isn't. And so you'd have to, like, maybe make some kind of mark in your calendar. You'd have to find some way to remind yourself because it's not something forefront of mind for you. It turns into this thing. We're like, okay, well, I better not forget. I better not forget that on the 24th of every month, I need to do Victor's month pictures. I didn't do it. And even if I had done it, I wouldn't know even where to find them now. I'd probably have them all lost. But it's okay, you know, I'll. I think I'll always remember that Victor was my latest walker. He just started walking at age 16 months. We talk about it a ton because it's so unique. My sister has a couple that really late. And I could even tell you when those kids walked, I could tell you so and so walked at 18 months because it was memorable and we all talked about it a ton. And that child is now six years old, and I still know that he walked at this certain age. And so those really important things, they're not going to get lost because you'll have a lot of conversations about it, you'll remark about it. And I think those are the only ones worth taking along. And the rest, it's okay if you don't remember and recall every little thing, so don't even know what you're going to use the information for. And it's just already a lot, you know, like get your. Get your simple meals on the table, get a load of laundry done a day, do some maybe like 10, 15 minutes of cleaning per day so you keep up with it. Read a couple of books to the children. And then beyond that, just try not to think that there's a million more things beyond that that you need to get done in order to be a good mom. All right, well, as always, thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast. Make sure to submit your questions at Bit Ly SFL Capital SFL Questions and I will see you in the next episode. Thanks as always for listening Listening to the Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast My husband Luke and I and our eight kids work together side by side on our little homestead and use our blog, podcast and YouTube channel to reach other homemakers, home cooks and home setters with practical recipes and daily family life. For everyday sourdough recipes, make sure to check out our blog farmasomboon.com and to dig deeper, we do also offer a course called Simple Sourdough over at Bit Lynch Forward slash farmhousesourdo Course. That's all one word. Bit Ly Farmhouse Sourdough Course. If you're looking to learn how we earn an income online, check out my free blog success masterclass at Bit Ly FarmhouseBlovingSchool and my YouTube course at Bit Ly Farmhouse YouTubeCourse all one word it.
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