312. What Changes When Your Kids Grow Up | Lessons from a Mother of 11 | Sarah of Our Tribe of Many

Summary

Simple Farmhouse Life – Episode 312 Summary

Episode Title: What Changes When Your Kids Grow Up | Lessons from a Mother of 11
Host: Lisa Bass
Guest: Sarah (Our Tribe of Many)
Date: October 21, 2025

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Overview

This episode features a candid, layered conversation between Lisa Bass (mom of nine, homesteader, and content creator) and Sarah from Our Tribe of Many (mom of eleven, ages 3 to 21). They reflect on parenting a large family, the realities of moving from little kids to big kids, how family dynamics and motherhood evolve over time, practical wisdom from managing a bustling household, and navigating the challenges and blessings unique to large family life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life as Kids Grow: The Surprising Pace of Change

• Having older children dramatically changes family life—faster and more profoundly than expected.
• The shift from all little kids to some being independent is fast and can feel blindsiding.
  • Lisa (04:00): "Four years ago, I had all these little kids, 12 and under... Now my oldest is 16, she can drive, and they're all aging into these more independent stages. The whole dynamic changes so fast."
• When some children move out, even a house full of kids feels quieter and less chaotic by contrast.
  • Sarah (06:17): "Recently, I had just my youngest five at home for dinner. It was so clean and quiet—that's wild considering five is a lot for many people!"

2. Building a Home for a Changing Family

• Lisa is currently building a new house and seeks advice from Sarah, who recently built a custom family home to accommodate not just current, but future needs.
• Planning for older children and eventual grandchildren informed Sarah’s home design, emphasizing spaciousness and flexibility.
  • Sarah (08:42): "We designed it with even our grandchildren in mind. We regret absolutely nothing, which I think says a lot in almost a year."
• Tips include zero-step entries, bathrooms attached to bedrooms for adult children, cubbies for each kid in the mudroom, and a master bedroom on the main floor for future aging.

3. Motherhood Mindset: Letting Go and Adjusting

• Having teens and adult kids offers perspective, lessening anxieties over the “right” way to parent or homeschool.
  • Sarah (14:35): "In homeschooling, once you have one graduate, you realize what they said is true: it does work out somehow."
• The importance of being flexible and regularly adjusting approaches, since one solution rarely works forever.
  • Sarah (22:21): "You're always adjusting. When things change, I look for solutions—I keep searching and pivoting if it’s not working."

4. Parenting Teens and Young Adults: A New Challenge

• Parenting young adults is fundamentally different and, often, more challenging than raising little ones.
  • Sarah (27:33): "My parents used to say the young adult stage is the hardest to parent... and now I'd agree 100%."
• It’s about influence rather than control, supporting but not directing, and learning to trust as kids make big life choices.
  • Sarah (29:00): "You’re watching your kids make decisions you wouldn’t make... It's a trust process—just letting go and finding a new balance."
  • Parenting focus shifts to support, prayer, and being present/interested in their world.
• The loss of “early bedtimes” and constant family togetherness—older kids’ schedules mean parents give more late-night attention, sometimes sacrificing sleep.

5. Grieving & Embracing Changing Family Rhythms

• There’s real grief in letting go of the phase where "all the kids are together"—meals, rides, outings become more fragmented.
  • Sarah (33:08): "My little kids will not have the same childhood my older ones did... there’s almost a grieving process."
• But, new joys emerge: rich sibling relationships across a wide age span, grandchildren, and adult children returning for visits.
  • Adapting traditions, like family dinners or vacations, to whoever’s present—letting go of perfection in togetherness.

6. The Big Family Myths & Realities

• Misconceptions abound: lack of connection, selfishness, or that big families are always overwhelmed.
• In reality, connection is strong, and kids gain much from sibling bonds and big-family energy.
  • Sarah (39:53): "I don’t get the ‘lack of connection’ criticism at all... I feel like we have even more time together than a lot of families."
• The hardest physical and emotional stage is when you have 5-7 small children—after that, flexibility and letting go are essential to survival.
  • Sarah (40:19): "You realize you don’t have as much control as you think you do, and letting go is beautiful."

7. Comparison, Overwhelm, and Modern Mom Challenges

• Social media bombards moms with advice, often conflicting, fueling overwhelm and undermining confidence.
  • Sarah (54:34): "Don’t listen to every voice that comes across your screen... It’s important to pick a couple voices you trust."
• The antidote: seek out mentors, real-life community, and recognize that every family’s needs and strengths are unique.
  • Sarah (61:27): "Real life people have context for your actual situation... you’re the expert for your own home."

8. Little Progress, Big Fruit

• Small daily investments—in home, homeschool, and relationships—add up to major results over time.
  • Sarah (16:15): "Every day of little progress ends up to be big progress... the little bits, they add up so much."
• Seeing kids succeed, develop their interests, and contribute is among the greatest joys.

9. Sarah’s Life & Content

• Sarah shares her everyday life as a large, multicultural, homesteading family on her YouTube channel, Our Tribe of Many.
  • Content includes meal prepping, grocery hauls, travel, homestead life with cows, and large family logistics.
• Advice for overwhelmed moms: focus on priorities, redefine “winning” as moving the needle in core areas (self-care, faith, homeschool, time together).
  • Sarah (55:41): "I’ve just changed it where it’s my priorities. If I walk that day, read my Bible, progress the kids in homeschool, and spend fun time with them—that’s my win."
• Encourages moms to resist the pressure of perfection and trust their intuition; all parents make mistakes and keep learning.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On flexibility:

  “When seasons are changing, the ones who handle it best are the ones who are flexible to change all the time.”
  — Sarah (01:08)

• On letting go of perfection:

  “My 11th is not going to be parented by a perfect parent just because I had 10 before… We’re never going to be perfect.”
  — Sarah (66:23)

• On seasons of parenting:

  “The grief and the change is real when everyone is not under your roof, but new blessings come too.”
  — Sarah (33:08)

• On mom overwhelm:

  "Don't listen to every voice that comes across your screen... pick the few you trust and tune the rest out."
  — Sarah (54:34)

• On young adults:

  “Parenting young adults is a trust process. It’s letting go and finding a new balance.”
  — Sarah (29:00)

• On comparison and social media:

  “It’s so overwhelming... those little videos come across like you’re doing it wrong. You have to shut it down if it’s knocking your confidence.”
  — Sarah (59:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:00] – The rapid shift from little to big kids
• [07:10] – Building a home for a growing and grown family
• [14:35] – How her homeschooling approach changed with experience
• [22:21] – The necessity of flexibility; perpetual pivoting in family routines
• [27:33] – The real challenges of parenting teens and young adults
• [33:08] – Grieving “the whole family together” phase, and what comes next
• [39:53] – Dispelling myths about connection in large families
• [54:34] – Advice for overwhelmed moms in the age of social media
• [61:27] – The importance of real-life communities and context
• [66:23] – Reminder: All parents mess up. Perfection isn’t required.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a wellspring of perspective—honest encouragement for mothers at any stage. Its central message: let go, stay flexible, trust your parenting journey (even when it looks different from others), and remember the value is in the relationships—the “party” of family life.

“It’s a party, including the mess... but it’s always a party.”
— Sarah (17:44)

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Find Sarah on YouTube: Our Tribe of Many
Find Lisa: Farmhouse on Boone

Transcript

[Lisa]

After having nine kids, it is very clear to me that all children are different with their personalities. They learn differently, they're motivated by different things. Parents imagine a school day built around your child's needs and interests. It's possible with K12 powered schools. You don't need to wait until next year. You can make the switch to K12 at any time and set your kid up for success. K12 powered schools are accredited tuition free online public schools for students in kindergarten through 12th grade. They've been a leader in education for over 25 years with their engaging curriculum that supports supports individual learning styles. But this isn't like typical homeschooling. K12 has state certified teachers specially trained in teaching online who use hands on innovative technology to make learning interactive. And that's what's so great about K12 is the flexibility Schools anywhere there's Internet access, whether that's from the comfort of home or on the go. To keep up with your family's busy schedule, see why more than 3 million families have chosen K12 to empower their students. Go to k12.comfarmhousetoday to learn more. That's the letter K the number 12.

[Sarah]

K.

[Lisa]

K12.Com farmhouse I love to and.

[Sarah]

I always tell other moms who are overwhelmed or questioning things like you need to look to people that are ahead of you. And when I look to the ones ahead of me, I feel like the ones who've handled it best are the ones who are flexible to change all the time. When, when seasons are changing, they just do better. And I want to be that person like just okay, it's changing and I, I can grieve and let go of the past, of how it used to be. But also I'm going to march forward with a joyful spirit to what's next.

[Lisa]

My name is Lisa, mother of nine and creator of the blog and YouTube channel Farmhouse on Boone. On this podcast I like to talk about simplifying your life so you can live out your priorities.

[Podcast Host]

I help you learn how to cook.

[Lisa]

From scratch and decorate on a budget through this podcast and my courses Simple Sourdough and the Simple Sewing Series. I also help people reach their goals from home through my business courses, Create youe blog Dream and YouTube Success Academy. I will leave links to these resources in the show notes and description box below. Now let's get into the show.

[Podcast Host]

Welcome back to the Simple Farmhouse Life Podcast.

[Lisa]

Today I am talking with Sarah from.

[Podcast Host]

Our Tribe of Many. She's been on the podcast before.

[Lisa]

Many of you know her and love.

[Podcast Host]

Her content this discussion is so encouraging if you are an overwhelmed mom, a young mom, looking for just some perspective on what your future looks like and how. How beautiful it can be as children grow up. Large family Life. Sarah has 11 children, so she has learned a thing or two at this point, having 11 children, 21 years old and younger. And I think that you are going to find this discussion very encouraging, so let's dive in. Sarah, I'm so excited to catch up with you. If it takes us scheduling a podcast, then that sounds good.

[Sarah]

That's the only way these days.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, well, we're both very busy. You have 11 children, and I know some. Some of them are moved out and on their own, but nonetheless, that means there's, like, moving parts everywhere. That's one thing I find interesting. My oldest is now 16, so she can drive, which means they're starting to have their own plans. And it's just crazy how you think life will, like, slow down, but it's actually the exact opposite. Sorry. Young mothers.

[Sarah]

Yeah, it is. It is so different. Yeah, exactly. And. And I feel like nobody really prepared me for how different it really is when your kids are older.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's. I was talk. Talking on a different episode recently about how it's kind of. It's. It blindsides you a little bit, because My oldest was 12 four years ago. And four years, as we all know, is like nothing when you're an adult. Like, it's just. It's nothing. And so when four years ago, I had all these little kids, 12 and under, and then four years from now, I'm going to have, like, they're already, you know, all aging into these, like, more independent stages, but then four years from now, there's going to be four kids, or not four, maybe. But you know what I'm trying to say, like, it's just very fast how every, like, the whole dynamic changes. So that's interesting.

[Sarah]

It's so true. When I. When I. Now that I have older ones, I have 21 down to age three.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, it's quite the range.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And it gives you such a different perspective on your younger ones when you have raised some, like, kind of.

[Podcast Host]

Absolutely raised.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And it. It's just wild. I'm about four years ahead of you. So my oldest, you know, just right up there in five years, maybe.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Sarah]

And, yeah, it's just wild. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Well, that is something that I talk about a lot because people will ask. I'm sure you get asked this question a lot, too. Is it easier to have, like, two kids or is easier to have 11 kids. And I find the question kind of funny because of course, more kids is more work. Like, there's no way around that. However, it's your perspective shift that ends up making the little kids so much easier because there's so many things that you're like, oh, that was something I worried about so much. And you don't realize how much stress goes into things that are very, like, not important things at all. But it takes the perspective shift. You almost can't explain it to a young parent. Right. Like, it's not possible 100%. Yeah.

[Sarah]

It's just like, you're in that mode. You're in that family mode, and you're adding kids to it, so you don't really feel that impact like you did when it was your first ones, for sure.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And you're just kind of moving in that mode, and everybody's in that mode, and it just gets more fun and messier and louder. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Well, that's it. Like, anytime I'm home with a couple of kids, for whatever reason, you know, like, if Luke took older kids somewhere, I'm home with two little kids.

[Sarah]

And.

[Podcast Host]

And I remember when I had two little kids or three little kids, and it felt like, possibly chaotic at times. And it's like the quietest thing. Like, no matter how loud they are, it's. There's zero chaos compared to everybody being home.

[Sarah]

So, yes, a few times recently, I had just my youngest five, at home for dinner.

[Podcast Host]

Just my youngest five.

[Sarah]

It's so clean and quiet. And then I thought, voice, some people who have five feel like, you know, that's a regular life. And for me, just going backward is just so wild. It's. It's. It was very clean and quiet dinner, let me tell you.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. That's what I find when I'm home with, like a handful of kids, like you said, even. I mean, I have. I only have eight, so five probably doesn't pull me down as dramatically, like, from the level of 11 to 5 to where I'm like, oh, this is just so easy. But I will say, when I'm left home with like three or four, like, keeping the house clean and keeping people fed is a whole different thing. Like, it's compared to. Yeah, I know, exactly. There's just. It's just like there's so many people in a house. And I know you guys pretty recently. Has it been in a year or two that you moved into your brand new house?

[Sarah]

Yeah. Less than a year. Yep.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Less than a year.

[Sarah]

November, end of October last year. So, yeah, it's very exciting.

[Podcast Host]

So I need your perspective on how building a house is, because I'm right in the middle of it. Do you feel like now, oh, it's no big deal. Because in the thick of it, I'm like, huh, this is not fun.

[Sarah]

We built a house twice. This is the first time. We did, like, a custom home where we really picked everything. The first time was kind of, you know, the builder's like, this is what I do. And we said, okay, here's our colors, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Yeah, that sounds a lot easier.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Yeah. So we had. We. We designed our house and just had very specific things we wanted for our large family. Knowing that, yes, they will grow up and move out, but we also know that we want them to feel comfortable to come back into our home. We want them to not get pushed out because it's small. And I know a lot of families do small homes with very successfully. And I loved that season. We actually lived in a. For. For me, it was very small. It was 1700 square feet, but all 11 of our kids in that house.

[Podcast Host]

And that would be really small. I just want to say, like, we're in about, I think around 1900. I know. I don't know for sure what this house is with 10 people, and it definitely feels small. And I am being such a wimp because I know so many people who live so much smaller with more kids. So I will say that.

[Sarah]

That I hear you completely, because I always knew. Of course, there's so many families that do it with much less space, but we do have long, dark winters. And then we also. We had adult age, children, body. Adult bodies, at least big people. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And I could just feel this, especially with my oldest, like, this sense of, okay, I can't be here. I want to be here with you guys, but I can't be here. And I. I got it. I mean, he was in a triple bunk. It was like, his body is huge. You know what I mean? And so we really wanted space where they just feel like they can take their time to leave till they need to. And we designed it with even our grandchildren in mind. And just thinking like that, and I tell you, it's been dreamy. We regret absolutely nothing, which I think says a lot in almost a year. And it wasn't a too hard of a process because we. Our smaller house is on our same property. In fact, now our oldest son and his new wife live in that house. And that's so fun. That's really the dream is that several of them would maybe want to live around here or on the property and do more family compound, which I guess we technically have now. And it's so fun. We just love it and yeah, it's great. I, I'm so happy for you guys. You guys, congratulations. You got a baby coming, like, any day now probably, right?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah, yes, any day now. Yeah, when this comes, when this episode comes out, like, the baby will definitely be like a month old. But yeah, because we're getting ahead in order to not have to do any podcast interviews for a little while. But, yes, I am currently due any second now. Like, yeah, I'm just curious from you, did all your kids come around, like, the same time, or did you have some that were like 39 weeks and some that were 42 weeks?

[Sarah]

I had, yeah, it was, it was kind of all different. I had some blood pressure issues with a lot of my babies, so my doctors would really push me to have them early sometimes. So sometimes I was induced. But yeah, like, 41 weeks was my latest, I think, but it was always a little different. Are you pretty consistent?

[Podcast Host]

Yes, I have so far been pretty consistent. And so that's just what I'm fully planning on.

[Lisa]

So we'll see.

[Sarah]

Yeah, they can surprise you even when they're number nine. I'll tell you.

[Podcast Host]

I know. I, I, I have a friend that, that happened to on her, like, later child. And I'm like, that would really throw me because I think I know what's going on. So back to your house. I think it's interesting that people say, and I agree, that you would build a different house in your 20s than your 30s, than your 40s, than your 50s? And I've thought about that. I'm like, yes, what would I, what would we have designed or like, 10 years ago? And then now kind of, we almost probably have about all the kids that we're going to have. I can predict what ages are going to be in 10 years.

[Sarah]

You know?

[Podcast Host]

You know, what would I do 10 years from now that I may be not seeing now in designing a home? Because certainly I would probably choose something different, which is interesting.

[Sarah]

But.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What kind of things were you prioritizing? And you said you don't regret anything, so I feel like you probably did a good job.

[Sarah]

Yeah, well, yet it's only been a year. Not quite true. But I will say we tried to, we tried to have that mentality of, like, what about our 50s and 60s? And will this house be too big for us? Will it feel way too big? And because we drew it out, thinking it was smaller, we took it to the architect and he's like, no, this is a bigger house. And it was kind of like, oh, can we? Do we want that? Do we want to be cleaning that you know, one day? And so there are things we thought about. Our builder told us right away, zero entry. Because you never know if you need zero entry. Definitely do that. That's good for thinking into the future. One of my friends had a lot of children and they tried to make as many bedrooms as possible have a bathroom attached to it, which seems very excessive, but she said when her adult children came home, it is so much nicer for them when they have their little babies to have a bathroom attached to their bedroom. And so we tried to do that as much as we could. We did it with two of our kids, bedrooms in the basement. And then we tried to, let's see, we had like a, we have a cubby in our mudroom for every child. And the goal is that when they're, they're coming home with their families, if they have special sippy cups they like or certain things for their family even when they're grown, that they, they would have a place just to put those things. And we also thought our younger kids, like all the girls and all the boys share a room, but we thought eventually it could be a girl and boy room for grandkids if they're having sleepovers or whatever. We also designed it that our main, our, our master bedroom's on the main floor. So if we're just us here, which I think one of our kids would probably want the house or we'll, we'll move on or something. But if it happens to be just us here, it wouldn't be hard to just clean the main floors most of the time. And so we were trying to think of all of those things too, which is, it's weird. We, most of our kids are home. We have 10 kids. I guess one of them is in Japan right now on a long term mission trip. But most of our children are still home. And yet we're having to think like that, because once you have one move out, you realize, okay, this is not happen fast. Way faster than I thought. Yeah, every other year. That's why I thought when they started driving, I thought potty training came fast. Then when they start turning 16, you're like, every time you get one that you feel pretty confident about, there's another one to teach. And that's probably the same thing about graduating them. And when they're moving out and moving on. Boy, having older children gives you such a different perspective on younger children. And it's actually such a gift because I know we parent differently now. I keep saying we're going to be perfect by the last one, but not really because we'll never have it all figured out. But it really does help you see what's important, what's not important. And I. I do love that gift. I am very thankful for that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Do you feel like you are more laid back about certain. I don't, I don't mean this in, like, some. I think people think of that as a negative thing because there's, you know, the things that are important to, to like, zero in on. And then, you know, things that are like, this does not affect their future in any way. Why am I stressed? Like, do you feel like.

[Sarah]

Absolutely, yeah. I feel like I started out as a pretty laid back parent, but I am a list person and I'm juggling a lot of things. I think the thing that, that made me let go of things the most is in homeschooling. There's something about homeschooling. Once you have your first one graduated, you're like, okay, what they said is true. When you're moving through it, it does work out somehow. And so some of those books, like my older kids will come to me and like, I don't like this book. Can I switch it out for this? And they'll want to switch it out for something that I would never read even. It looks so boring. And. But now I'm like, yes, yes, yes. You know, we don't have to do everything like the book says. I let a lot of that go along the way, but I let more than ever go. Once I had graduated some, I realized that the reading is important, but if they're reading more their interests, that's fine with me too. What part of it is important in what we're doing? And so I think in the homeschool, it's helped me the most. And I realized all those days where we just made little progress, little progress was actually great progress. And so sometimes when I'm overwhelmed now because actually when you're getting older, things change. For how you handle all the things as well. And that's something I've been learning the last year especially is just okay. I don't handle all the things as much as I used to. And that's just a fact of what happens when we're in our mid-40s.

[Podcast Host]

Just like, you're not there. Things don't feel maybe as urgent.

[Sarah]

No, they feel like more overwhelming. What I used to handle.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sarah]

And so. But I just can remind myself now that, no, when we're just making even little progress, it adds up to big progress. So every. If I'm having a few days that are. Just feel very overwhelming with my business or with something else, and I'm like, how am I handling homeschool? No, every day of little progress ends up to be big progress in the end. And so I just keep thinking of progressing. My kids, each one of them, every day, and I look at my older ones and I. I'm. They're smarter than I am. They are amazing kids. They. They love to read, they love to study. They like the subjects that I didn't like. I'm like, right. Somehow the Lord works. Yeah. I don't know where I was in any of it, but it's just that little progress each day, just making sure they're progressing. And some days is big progress, and some days it's little progress, but all progress is all we need. You know, just keep moving through, you know, little. The little bits, they add up so much, and that's what you don't realize. And that's the same with time. I think that perspective of it's just time with your kids. I'm so thankful that we have homeschooled the whole way because I've had so much time with them. But when you look at the older ones, it's just that I'm so thankful for all that time because I really, really know my kids so well. And all that. Those little bits of time, of playing and working together and all those things, they just added up to something beautiful that. Who knew? In the moment of chaos and stress and loudness and messiness, people are like, you got. You have 11 kids. What's that like? And I always say it's a party, including the mess, but it's a party all the time.

[Podcast Host]

You know, it's always a party.

[Sarah]

It's always a party, whether it's a fun party or not. It's always. Most of the time, your day really is.

[Podcast Host]

I think a lot of people, if they invite at 11 people over, would consider that a party.

[Sarah]

So it is a party all the time, so. Yeah, exactly. And so that all. But all that time just. It. It was all worth it. Like, that's what you realize with your young ones when you have old ones.

[Podcast Host]

Well, it's good to hear that perspective from someone who has children that are older because I think also when you have younger kids and when you're homeschooling particularly, you think that every single thing that goes into their brain that's going to be helpful for them has to come from you. Like, if I don't say this to them, they won't learn it. But it turns out you notice that kids find things they're interested in and then they dig and explore and they learn things beyond what you ever could teach them. But how overwhelming to think that if you don't cover it, they won't learn it.

[Sarah]

Exactly. In fact, my older children's interests, when I really think about it, my oldest three that have graduated, they're not my interests. They love history and theology, my boys, so much that they'll have these deep discussions where they lost me a while ago because they're readers, they love to read. My oldest daughter loves theater. You would have to pay me to sit through a musical. And now I've made it my hobby to love musicals because she loves musicals. But it's so cool to see your kids become who they're meant to be. And here I was their teacher and they. They picked things that really didn't mean so much to me, like at the levels that it means to them. And it's awesome. It shows you also how little you have to do with it. You teach them how to learn. I teach them to love learning. That's my goal. I want them to love learning. And a lot of that is reading. I'm thankful that they've all loved to read and they dig into their own things and their own ways, and little by little, I let go more of what I want them to read. But there's some of that. There's give and take. We all have to do things we don't like too, in life. But yeah, it is beautiful to see it working out in young adult children.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. And that takes the pressure off you with your younger kids. Probably more fun for you to homeschool them than maybe your older ones. Like, did you have seasons of self doubt in your older kids? Like when you first started homeschooling, thinking that you weren't going to be able to do it?

[Sarah]

Yes. I think I remember very specifically having like my seventh baby. And for some reason I just felt overwhelmed, like, getting back to school sometimes I wanted to get back to school when they were two weeks old. And sometimes this time it was, I can't remember which one, but it was seventh or eighth or something. And I'm like looking for videos of people. How do you do it with a newborn. How do you homeschool with a newborn? And they're all saying, this is a season, don't worry about it. Let things go. It's grace for the season. And I'm like, my oldest ones literally have never known our house without a baby.

[Podcast Host]

You have 10 little babies younger than the oldest. So the season of newborn. And I talk about that too, because it's a season. If you had like three or four kids.

[Sarah]

Yeah, season.

[Podcast Host]

If you had them the whole, you know, from the time you were in your early 20s to early 40s, that's not really.

[Sarah]

That season comes around every 18 months and it really never ends before, you know. Yeah, yeah. So it's. What was your question? I don't even remember. But.

[Podcast Host]

So you were. Sorry, I maybe derailed you. You were talking about how you were trying to figure out how you homeschool with a newborn and people were like.

[Sarah]

Don'T worry about it. It's a season.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

You just, you realize you just have to keep adjusting. It's always adjusting. Right? So I look at these videos, I'm like, no, I can't do that. Otherwise we would do nothing. We would do nothing for any of them forever. And so it's always an adjustment. Always. And I'm always looking at my life like that. When things. Because you can be doing something for one way for a long time and it's working well and all of a sudden it doesn't work. And so you just have to figure out, okay, how do I adjust? And that's my, that's my go to when it's not working. I'm not going to live in stress. I'm not living. I'm not. I know the Lord did not create me to live and give me all these children to just live a stressed out life. So I'm looking for, what's the solution? Let's find the solution. There is one out there. I know there's one out there always. And sometimes I have to pray about it. Sometimes the Lord gives me a solution. I'm like, oh, I never would have thought of that. Sometimes it's through a friend, sometimes it's through a video I watch. It doesn't matter. But I keep searching for that solution until I find it. And that's worked the best for me. Just keep pivoting if it, if it's not quite working the same and, and just being flexible. Flexibility is so important, I think, in motherhood. And yeah, I just couldn't subscribe to the. Oh, it's just a season. Just let things go. That wouldn't work in my situation at all.

[Lisa]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

We'D be letting everything go and that's. That wouldn't be well.

[Lisa]

That would be well.

[Podcast Host]

I seriously think about this all the time and I again, I think it comes from a place of if you actually did put your childbearing into a season, then that's advice for moms. That's advice for them. And I have felt the exact same way when people say that to me, like, just let it all go. I'm like, do you know where my house would be right now if for all the times that I had little kids in the house, just let it all go. Like it's too many years for that doesn't work.

[Lisa]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Lisa]

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[Podcast Host]

So how do you feel like you're mothering. Like I don't know if you could think of any specific things, but it looks different now from how it did 20 years ago or 15 years ago when you had. 15 years ago you had little kids and maybe three or four of them. What do you do differently with like your three or four little kids now?

[Sarah]

You know, I don't know that I do a lot differently because I said, like I said in the beginning, I'm. I was started out a very laid back mom. Yes. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

See, I have a different perspective and.

[Sarah]

I'm like, I know that's not coming.

[Podcast Host]

I was so much more.

[Sarah]

You were more rigid. Yeah. There's a lot of things that I guess I have let go of. Things like I would puree baby food in the beginning and now it's. I've been doing baby lead weaning since about baby number two or three. Like there's some things with the first one you're trying out stuff like I want to do it right. But I was pretty relaxed from the beginning. I think the biggest thing, the biggest change and the biggest surprise for me is young adults is parenting. And my parents used to always say that the young adults is the hardest stage to parent. And I would be like, what? I don't know. And now that I actually have young adults, I would agree 100%. I think there's a stage from 18 months to two and a half that's very challenging. But if you stay very consistent, the rewards.

[Podcast Host]

Such a different way though.

[Sarah]

It's such a different way, you still.

[Podcast Host]

Can just control what they do. That's what when they're three and you just literally do and put them in the highchair, put them in the car seat, put them in their nap, they're.

[Sarah]

Doing something you don't like at three years old, you tell them, stop doing that, let's redirect distraction, blah, blah, blah. When they're doing something at 19, 20 that you're not a fan of, it's so different. You're learning a different way to parent than you used to parent all your life. And that is a challenge. And also it's a stage where your kids make the most important decisions of their lives. They're deciding the career, oftentimes they're deciding who they're going to marry, which I believe is one of the most important decisions you make. It really affects your future. They're deciding who they are, who they're becoming. And you're watching your kids do this and it's trial and error. For us it was trial and error. And so for them it's going to be trial and error. And you're watching them make decisions sometimes that you wouldn't make. And let me say, my kids are amazing. They really. Nobody's gone off the rails majorly, but still, it is a new challenge for my husband. Yeah. And we pray more for our kids now than we did before. I'm ashamed to say. Now we're like, there's. We always feel like there's one that's got us on our knees more than all the others. And then it changes just as soon as you feel like, okay, they're going to be fine. And it's just really trust. It's a trust process, just letting go that, finding that new balance. I have a daughter in law, so I'm learning like, okay, I want my relationship to be great. I don't want to be overbearing, but I also want to be a resource when she wants me there. So I got to learn when to keep my mouth shut and when to, you know, you're just learning a whole new phase, that balance of push. Some kids, older kids, they need to be pushed a little bit, because if they're not pushed a little bit, they may just stay in your basement for the rest of their lives not working. And you don't want that. Right. Or not doing anything with their lives. And so some of them actually need a push a little bit, and some need to be reigned in a little bit. But you're doing it with it in a new way. You're parenting in a new way. You're encouraging the one. The way my husband and I have found that is best, and it's what my parents had recommended actually, is that you get involved in what they're involved. Like, you become interested in their interests. You are now their interests are your interests. And we, we are so interested in their friends and their boyfriends and girlfriends and what's going on in their lives. And we're involved. And so far that has worked out really well because we have a great relationship with our young adult children. But it is like a lot of parents, 18 years old and they're like, okay, I'm done. And I feel like that is not the case at all. Like, I feel like, I feel like kids really need the support of their parents at this age. And learning to parent in this stage is new and challenging. And I've been very surprised by the fact that we're tired as if we had a newborn when we don't. For the first time ever, we don't have a newborn, but we have, we have older ones that are out late at night and then they come home and they want to talk to you. And so you're staying up really late at night. And then we still have little ones that wake up, usually us up very early. And so we're like, so when does the sleep happen? Yeah, it's like by the grace of God, right? I mean, so, yeah. So it's just interesting.

[Podcast Host]

It seems like. And I, you know, I'm like, you said four or five years behind you, but it seems like you really have to give of yourself more when they're older than when they're younger. Like when all my children were seven and under, you could do like a seven o' clock bedtime and then you were just off. And I guess it just goes away.

[Sarah]

It really does. We think back about those seven o' clock bedtimes and my older kids are like, why do you let the younger ones stay up?

[Podcast Host]

Like, what?

[Sarah]

Who cares? What's the point? Yeah, what's the point? We gotta be up with you people anyway.

[Podcast Host]

Yep. Yeah.

[Sarah]

So in that way, I've changed. There was like my husband and I always had our time together was after seven, all the kids are in bed. You know, it's so different. And then people are all the schedules. You feel like a cruise ship director sometimes you're like, who's going where and what car and this and that. Oh my goodness. It's like so much. And it's so fun. It's so rewarding to watch your kids become who they were meant to be. And it's just so different. I just feel like people don't talk about it enough for the price here. Their own children. I understand that there aren't a lot of parenting books that discuss it. Right?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Because. Yeah, that's. It could be big things that you don't want to expose and then them later on when they're through that still have that like, as their story. Because, you know, it's.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I think back to when I was 16, 19, 22. Like, I don't want any record of all of that. Like, you know, like, exactly. Things I went through, the things that my. My parents maybe had. Like, there doesn't need to be, you know, anybody.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Like, so writing a book about your issue. Writing a book about it.

[Podcast Host]

So I agree with you that why it's not really talked about specifically, but it's also interesting to get the perspective, I think because I'm newly in this big kid world, if you could even say that my oldest will be 17 this fall. But it already is in a lot of ways surprising. And I feel like I can see that it's going to be more and more so. So it's interesting hearing from you because, you know, mine are still all under my roof, so we still have family dinner with everyone, whereas I've heard from a lot of moms when that changes. That's just so interesting because you don't even know who's going to be here for dinner.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I find it. It is a. There is almost a grieving process that happens. My little kids will not have the same childhood my older ones did. And that's.

[Podcast Host]

There's no way for them to.

[Sarah]

There's no way for them. In a lot of ways, their life is even richer because they have siblings that come in the door and pick them up and throw them up. And they. They have special relationships with their older siblings that the younger ones never had that because they didn't have older siblings. And it's so cool. I love watching it even my married son and my daughter in law will come over. My daughter in law takes the kids for walks all the time around our property. She just loves to walk and she's always grabbing them for walks. They have such a rich childhood. But I also had to grieve, like everyone in our car. I remember a couple of years ago, I asked for Mother's Day. All I want is my son wasn't married yet. And I was like, I just want everybody to ride to church together. Like, what a dumb thing. I could almost cry talking about it. But it never happened after that because that was like a moment in time. And they all gave me that gift and they humored me and we laughed the whole way. It was fun. But that you have to kind of grieve everyone under your skirts. And in the time, in the moment of that, it can feel stressful and it's overwhelming, but it does end. And now, now we had to relearn, like, okay, family dinner still happening. Even though we got four people going five different directions, you know, but we're still gonna sit down with all the ones here and eat together. Because it started getting like, wait, what are. Who are we? What are we doing? And it was, it was just a moment we had to walk through, like, okay, we're still gonna take the family vacation even when not everybody can go. It's a grieving process walking through that. I know I have a lot of friends who had two kids, and so they're. They're grieving in a different way because they're actually just empty nesters becoming empty nesters. Because our oldest two are about the same age as our oldest two. And I look at that and I'm like, I'm so thankful that I have a house full of kids and it's still wild and loud. But we also have had to relearn, like, it's okay when not everybody's there to do the things. I mean, we haven't had to do family pictures. Oh, thank God. I haven't had to walk through that or anything without everybody there. But, you know, that stuff starts happening. It's just different. It's so different. And it's change, right? And we just have to keep adapting to change and being adaptable. And I think when I look at the older women in my life, I. I love to. And I always tell other moms who are overwhelmed or questioning things, like, you need to look to people that are ahead of you. Um, and when I look to the ones ahead of me, I. I feel like the Ones who've handled it best are the ones who are flexible to change all the time. When, when seasons are changing, they just do better. And I want to be that person, like, just, okay, it's changing. And I, I can grieve and let go of the past and of how it used to be, but also I'm going to march forward with a joyful spirit and to what's next for the kids that are here in my home too, and making all those memories.

[Podcast Host]

Like, you have a lot at home.

[Sarah]

Yeah. But it sure feels like a lot of them are not here. Just having two of them not here right now and it's just in one of them and then the third one is just working full time and gone a lot. And yeah, it's just so, it's so different. I love it. I want to love every stage and I, I've had to learn like, okay, we're. This is great. We're just different now. And it's going to be different even.

[Podcast Host]

If you didn't predict it, you know, exactly. Because you theoretically can predict it if you really think about it. Like, okay, well, yeah, obviously you know, your child's going to turn 21, but you don't imagine like you, you're a mom of 11 and so it's. You don't go places though with 11 kids and 11 kids don't sit at your table. Well, they almost wouldn't because there's a 17 or 18 year span between your oldest and youngest. And we have the exact same. My daughter will be 17 this fall and we're about to have our baby. And so, you know, logically I should see that coming. But. But you kind of don't. Like, people will ask you, well, if you end up having, you know, 11 kids, would you get a different van? And you know, you're. Which I don't think. I don't know if we will because I'm already gonna be 40 this year. But no, because I'm not gonna be bringing 11 kids with me anywhere or however many because I don't even hardly. We hardly ever travel, all 10 of us in the same vehicle at this current time right now. Like we, yeah, we can, but we don't because somebody always has something else going on. And that's just something that when you only have little kids, all you picture is, you know, Sarah and her 11 kids, which just not how it is.

[Sarah]

It's so hard when I make videos now because I'm like my family of, I don't know how many is my family of when I'm cooking dinner, like I'm cooking my dinner for my family.

[Podcast Host]

Of.

[Sarah]

And I can't make myself say a smaller number, so then I have to qualify that they're not all living here, you know, like, it's so weird.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sarah]

It's been a change in my own mindset, so.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, well, there was a question, like an audience question that I think would be pertinent right now is do you think people misunderstand what big family life is like and how do you respond to criticism that big families, I always find this one funny. Are selfish or that kids don't get enough connection? What are some of the, the misunderstandings of large families that you get? I know you've heard them all at this point, repeatedly.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I don't, I don't get that connection one, at all. I mean, I grew up in a family of two kids and I don't feel like my parents had more connection with us than we have. And my parents were excellent parents. I wrote a parenting book with my dad. I mean, I don't think they have less connection with us than I do with my kids in any way, shape or form. Do, do I think homeschooling helps? Yes. We obviously have a lot of time together. Probably. I feel like more than the average family. I'm with my kids all the time and then when we run errands, I'm taking different ones alone. My, my, you said this was coming out in weeks. My husband is, for now, for two and a half weeks, he's in Japan with one of my middle kids and he's having a blast spending time with him. And when I traveled to Japan a couple years ago, I took my 8 year old with me and we just spent so much time together and we, I, we really know our kids well and our, we have a great relationship. Like when you have those older kids, you can see where, I mean, I'm always saying I've learned what I did wrong and I'm changing it. But one thing we did not do wrong is we, we have a grid strong connection with our kids. So that's just, we're just being parents and their life is richer with all the siblings. It's, it's incredible. I do think it's not as hard as people think. I think that's a huge misconception that it's really hard because they're one or two or three feels so hard and they multiply it. Yes. But after four, I see, I notice in other people, I don't know how Much, I noticed in myself, but in other people, I can see them letting go of a lot of things, especially with number three. Number four.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Sarah]

Trying to control everything. I've never been a big controller. I encourage a lot of independence in my kids from a young age. But I can see this control starts to be let go, and you really. You have to. Or you're going to lose your own mind.

[Podcast Host]

Because you can control three. You'll go nuts.

[Sarah]

But you can.

[Podcast Host]

After that, you actually. And some people are, like, strong enough to do it with four, and so they really go nuts with four. But then eventually you're broken. Right.

[Sarah]

Eventually you have. You realize. Yeah. You realize you don't have as much control as you think you do. And control really. I really don't think we have as much control as we think we do. Anyway, that's a whole other podcast. But you start letting go of it more and more, and it's beautiful. It's. It's beautiful seeing the kids with each other and all the things.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think people. This is. That, of course, is the most common question you get. And a lot of questions that are posed to mothers of large families, they come from a place of, like, already assuming the answer. Like, well, clearly you can't, you know, and so that always makes it hard to answer certain large family questions, because to me, they. They're posed in criticism of it. I don't know if you get that a lot, but usually they say it in a way that it's like, okay, well, we know you already think you know the answer, so how can I come back from this now?

[Sarah]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I'm already the one who has to be on the defensive, defend my position. In a way. Yeah, Yeah.

[Sarah]

I just don't give it a lot of credibility. I hear a lot more from people that I wish I would have had a big family. I came from a big family, and I loved it. And I hear that so much more. I've really gotten. We've gotten very little criticism in public and in, like, with people, humans that were seen face to face almost. Almost never. We had. We had one person in a farmer's market once go, oh, I feel sorry for you. And I felt so bad that my kids heard that.

[Podcast Host]

That happened to us. Just the other day. My sister and I took 12. Well, let's see here.

[Sarah]

We.

[Podcast Host]

No, no, no.

[Lisa]

We each had four.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know why I said we have 12 sons between the two of us, but we each took four. So we had eight sons that we took for a weekend. And we were out to dinner and a lady walked by and goes, I feel sorry for you. And we're like, okay, rude.

[Sarah]

That was funny. I'd be like, I feel sorry for you. Yeah. I truly was having that attitude.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. But, yes, I agree with you that in real life, what we normally get, which my husband and I always think, like, we gotta quickly get out of a place when somebody says this. But we normally get people who come up and say that our kids are really well behaved. And we're always like, we gotta go.

[Sarah]

Or somebody messes up. But we get that a lot too. And that's so sweet of people to take their time to do that. It's online keyboard warriors that can be the most.

[Podcast Host]

It's true.

[Sarah]

Sometimes critics of it, but.

[Podcast Host]

Yep.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I just don't even care. Maybe I'm old enough that I just do not even care anymore. Cause I see what the. The fruit of it in my children. I see the fruit in my children. And I have older kids now, so I'm like, you can look at them and see what you think about that. But.

[Podcast Host]

Well, that does help being on the other side, because you're not as. Maybe defensive of your position because you're like, well worked out for us. So, you know. Whereas if you're still in the really younger years, say you're a mom of six kids, 12 and under, and people are criticizing you and you're like, I don't really know. Maybe I. Maybe I can't do this. Like, maybe kids really do need. Like, I think people truly think, like, each child needs, like, a special day to themselves every week. And, well, if you have seven, then you're done. Like, that's the only.

[Sarah]

Absolutely. And actually, that was the hardest phase. I. I think between five and seven kids, when they're all very young, physically, it is very demanding. And I remember, like, finding out we're pregnant and not wanting to tell people.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah]

That happens to me, like, at church sometimes. Family, you're just like, we gotta tell them eventually.

[Podcast Host]

I know, but I. 18 weeks this time.

[Sarah]

Oh, you did?

[Lisa]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Because I just never. And nobody ever gives me any trouble. Nobody's ever like, you're crazy. Nobody says that. I just feel like I anticipate what people are thinking. And so I'm like, I would really just like to tell you when the baby comes, but unfortunately, I end up showing around 18 weeks and can no longer hide it.

[Sarah]

Yeah. I feel like people were very surprised at five, like, oh, we're doing. We're. Because big family is four you know, oh, we're moving on.

[Podcast Host]

Five is when you officially crossed over.

[Sarah]

Yes. And then 11 was a really, like, it was even a number. What have you done? 10.

[Podcast Host]

Like why beyond 10?

[Sarah]

Yes, it was so even. I thought you were crazy. Now, what is this? This is beyond crazy. I don't know. So I do think a lot of people come that know us in real life. They come from a good place. When we were young, we were real poor and we were just like barely making it. Not poor, broke. We were broke a lot. And you know, we're learning how to like, we're super frugal and budgeting every penny. And some people just feel like, oh, how can they handle it? And they're not in our shoes. They don't see the sacrifices we're making and all of that. But it was hard to tell people sometimes. I never let their criticism affect us having kids because I don't. We didn't want to make decisions out of fear or out of other people's expectations. But it was hard to announce sometimes and I knew it would come a lot of times it would come from a good place. They're caring. They don't want you to be struggling if they perceive you're struggling or they don't want this or that bad thing for you. But as far as the general public and their view of large families, it is not a large family world and we live in it. And I don't know, but I'm raising some good human beings. I think for the most part they will make their own decisions. And from what I can see so far, I think we want some great human beings out there in this world and so.

[Podcast Host]

Well. And I can tell you, with the large families that I know, it is really fun to be around A large family.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Like find you a large family.

[Sarah]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Hang out with them because they're fun. They're a fun.

[Sarah]

I agree. I. I came from one. We had. I had one brother and I had an aunt and uncle that had seven and I had an aunt and uncle that had 10. And we spent a lot of time with the ones that had 10 at holidays. And I thought it was the most fun thing I had ever seen. And from very young I knew I wanted 12 kids. I want 12 kids because of them. Being around them is so fun and they always had so many built in playmates and it just seemed like so fun. I had one brother and if I was mad at him, I didn't even have anybody else to complain to him about. I'm like, I need more of my life.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah. I. Yes. And then I can only imagine as adults because I have three sisters and we're all adults and we all have kids and this is my built in group of people to hang with. And I think what if mom and dad had 2? Like Sundays would be so boring. Like when we go out to their house, just, it just be us too. I mean it's, it would still be fine, but it's just, it's, it's exciting and there's just a lot going on, a lot of birthdays and new babies and just those happy, joyful life things, you know, that, that come with all of it. And so I, I agree with you. I do. I think it's fun.

[Lisa]

If you run a small business, you know, there is nothing small about it. I know when I first started my blog, the learning curve on that was just monumental. Shortly after that I added products and.

[Podcast Host]

I had to get that all set up.

[Lisa]

And it's been a learning journey ever since through starting my YouTube channel, my podcast. The thing that helped me the most when all of these decisions began to feel daunting was knowing that I had the right platform to be successful. And if you're in E commerce, that right platform platform is Shopify. Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations across up to 1,000 locations. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisle ship to customer, buy online pickup in store. All made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time. And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. With Shopify pos you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. In fact, it's proven based on a report from EY businesses on Shopify POS see real results like 22% better. Total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative to the market set surveyed.

[Podcast Host]

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[Lisa]

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[Podcast Host]

Think about or at least they think.

[Lisa]

It maybe will be more complicated, complicated than it is. And that is cleaning products.

[Podcast Host]

I'm excited to tell you about something.

[Lisa]

That we have been loving in our home and that is Branch Basics. I like it for so many reasons. One, that it is non toxic. In order to keep our home safe, to protect our children, I try to keep things that are unnatural out of the house. I also love that Branch Basics is very simple. So they have a concentrate and then individual bottles. Just simply pour the concentrate into and.

[Podcast Host]

Then fill it up the rest of the way with water.

[Lisa]

This makes it really easy, but also surprisingly effective. They have to clean everything from laundry to produce. I personally like using the cleaner around the house on the countertops, stove top because that gets so incredibly messy. I need something that's actually going to cut the grease and the grime and make my job easier but not contribute to an unhealthy environment in our home. Ready to kick off your back to school reset? Head to branch basics.com to shop the premium starter kit and save 15% off with code farmhouse@branch basics.com that's, that's 15% off your new Branch Basics premium starter [e-mail] with promo code Farmhouse. Start fresh this season with products that are safe, simple and actually work.

[Podcast Host]

I also think that there can, like you said, there was times where maybe it was hard to make ends meet or there were times when, I don't know if you ever felt overwhelmed with like the workload of it and you really, I will say if you have three children, you're allowed to complain about that. If you go beyond that, you're not, you're not allowed to go.

[Sarah]

Yep. They'll just say, well, you knew how it happened. You know how this keeps happening. Yeah, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

So, yeah, I, I did learn to stop complaining. There are certain people you could not end.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And I mean, I guess complaining doesn't necessarily help, but you're just, you're, you're just not allowed to if you go beyond a certain point because it's like, well, why'd you do it then?

[Sarah]

Exactly. Yeah. And the reality is we all have our own struggles, whether we have no kids or no spouse or, Yes, a house full of them. And life has seasons that are challenging and not. And I see it as all the same. We all have our own hard things. We all have our own hard. And sometimes I Have hard times. But I did learn it was about that 7, 6, 7 number that like, you just can't tell everybody you're hard because they will say, well, you brought this on yourself. And I will say that the time and energy and effort that children and having children and raising children takes, that's where we put our focus, that's where we put our priority. And it is so rewarding. It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And we do a whole lot of stuff beyond parenting even, and it's still the most rewarding. And so when other people are like, oh, I don't know why you would do that. Why would you bring that on yourself? I say is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And having adult children is even more rewarding. Even on the nights I'm up praying like, oh, Lord, help them. Yeah, it's still the most rewarding. And I think it's just going to get better. I mean, one day I'm going to have grandchildren. And it's like your legacy, you're pointing to your legacy, really. And so even when it's really hard and I see why so many people stop having kids, because it is so hard when you have four or five little ones, six little ones, and you're doing everything almost for them and you're training, all you're doing is training and training and you're like, how, when do they actually get it? You know, when can they just sweep the floor and I walk away and.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And then one day it just happens. It just starts happening. They're starting to like, just do stuff that you taught them to. A couple months ago I realized my, a lot of my kids know parts of my bread making and nobody knows it all. So I was like, okay, my 14 year old daughter and I'm just gonna have her make all the bread for a while and so that she gets confident like I do in it. And I think it'll be a gift to her, you know? Yeah. She's like, okay, I'll do that. And her bread making is better than mine. Like there's this season you start reaping the rewards. I'm like, what do you do different? Can you teach me? I'm learning how to make bread for my 14 year old. And I made all our bread for years and years and years. I'm like, like she has the magic touch with this bread. Yeah. And so I, I, you start seeing the rewards. It's hard, hard, hard. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, he swept the floor and he did a really good job. And I don't have to pick up anything or call him back. Wow. And just starts happening. And all the effort, all the time. All the effort is just so worth it not to have floor sweepers, but to just see how your children are growing and. And just starting to do what God's called them to do for their lives. And it's. It's so beautiful and rewarding.

[Podcast Host]

The fruit of the hard stuff.

[Sarah]

The fruit. It's more fruit. It's worth more than all the other things we do, you know?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So for moms who are overwhelmed, whether that be with household things or just in general, you know, with all. All the things that come with motherhood, packed schedules, maybe sleep regressions, just. You name it. What's your advice? And I know. I think maybe the perspective is probably some of your top advice, but do you. Have you ever felt overwhelmed with.

[Sarah]

Oh, yeah, all the time. Yeah. I look for solutions. Like, if there's one area of my house that just seems out of control, I start looking for solutions. But I think these days, what I like to tell moms the most is not to listen to every voice that comes across your screen.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

I think it's important because they're conflicting. They're all conflicting. And I think moms can get. They can get so overwhelmed with the amount of information coming across their screen every day that tells them they should do it this way or they're not doing it right because they're not doing it this way. And it is way too much. I'm so thankful that when I started, I didn't have that same. It is a lot. And I think you have to start shutting it down. You have to pick maybe a couple voices, including in your own community or your own family that you just. You trust and you listen to. I think it's really important to prioritize. I'm in a new stage of life where all of a sudden, I told you, it's like everything's a little more overwhelming. And I realize I have to walk every day for, like, an hour. And it's annoying to me because it takes time away from all the other things I have to do. But in order to just. In this phase of life, in order to handle everything, I have to walk, I have to spend some time. And so. So one thing I do when I'm very overwhelmed is I just change the win. I always have, like, a huge list every day. I. I'm sure you're the same, Lisa. I Don't know. Are you a list person? I wake up and I have like a hundred things on my list.

[Podcast Host]

Yep.

[Sarah]

And so it used to be that my win was like, yeah, it used to be I had to finish everything on my list to feel, Go to bed and feel like, wow, I've done it. But I, I've just changed it where it's my priorities. If I walk that day, read my Bible a little bit, progressed my kids a little in homeschool and spent some fun time with them. Like, that's my win. I'm, I've won. No matter if the whole list got done or not. I, some, some seasons you just have to prioritize. Okay, what's my win? A lot of days I'll wake up and no problem, I can get that whole list done. And some days I just can't. There's distractions. My own brain is like, over it, whatever. So I change the wins and just make it my. What my actual priorities are. And, and then I go to bed and I tell myself, you know what? You did those four things you won today. You did it. Who cares about that rest of that list? Who cares? I did it. You know, And I think listening to those, to the just a few voices, not letting everything overwhelm you, and then along with that comes not comparing. And I struggle with this sometimes even myself. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm a bare bones youtuber because I have so much going on in my life and I'm not able to spend time curating content like I would like to. It's just that camera is just coming along with me during the day because I don't have time to do a special video and set all of this up and make this and do that and, and I can look at other ones and I'll be like, oh, why can I not get my act together? And I, I really have to work to not compare myself to others. And I think the same is in motherhood. It can really make us overwhelmed with what we're doing. We have to just keep our eyes on our lane. God gave you your kids because he knows that you are the perfect parent for them. And so, yes, do we have to learn? Yes. I've learned so much from other women, but I pick and choose who I'm going to learn from. I try to learn from people that are ahead of me a little bit so I can see some of the fruit of what's coming out of what I'm taking away from that, which a lot of times have Been women in my own family. And I. Yeah, I just know even in my own household, with the household things, I'm the expert for my own home. So just because Sally does it this way and that way and that way doesn't mean that it's going to work for me that way. So I need to figure out what works for me, what works for my personality, my children, my situation. Because really, when you think about it, a lot of times you don't want that person's life. You might think you do, but you probably. You don't. You want your life, you want the life that you have. And so it's going to look a little different. And so I think shutting down all those voices is so important for moms these days. It's. It takes some effort, but it's really important because they differ and they'll change their own minds. They'll, like, tell you what you have to do, and three months later, they're telling you something else that actually contradicts what they told you three months ago. And you're like, okay, this is a little.

[Podcast Host]

Well, yeah, I mean, you know that the algorithm kind of rewards hot takes. And a lot of times these are all younger moms who have these hot takes. And it's kind of like, you know, like you said, talking to moms who are older who have some fruit on the other side of it, getting real life advice from real life people. Like, you go to your. Your own parents who you felt like were connected to you all. How do you, like, how do you limit. I know you're. You're already in a season of life where maybe you're not as susceptible to this because it's like, well, you probably have kind of what you do. And you're like, I don't need to take every advice, but what about young moms? Like, how would you recommend they silence the voices? Because if you're on social media at all, and I, every time I get on Instagram, I tell you, I within five minutes find myself saying I hate the Internet. Literally within five minutes. And maybe that's just me being negative. But the problem is, I'll see something. I'll go down to the comment section. I'm like, I. I hate.

[Sarah]

I know it's a love hate relationship. I got over here.

[Podcast Host]

I'm saying, I mean, I also don't, because it's how I make my whole living. But it's like, oh, my word. It's. It's. Yeah, it's so crazy because people are just like, they're all ready to just fight non stop. I mean, you can't find something on the Internet that you couldn't go down to the comment section and find people instantly like, it's the. Seems like the most innocent thing. And you're like, yeah, nope. Yeah, nope, we're gonna find something we don't like about that.

[Sarah]

I think, I think it is really hard. I, I struggle with the comparison part sometimes with my business part, but I can see it. I meet young moms, I know them at church. Sometimes in just. I see young moms and they're overwhelmed with all of the voices. The voices and the voices, those little videos, those short clips, they come across like you're doing it wrong. Here's how you should change. And whether they mean to or not, that's how you take it when you're not confident in what you're doing yourself. And so I think you have to do whatever drastic steps you have to, to shut it down. Like, if you're not looking at it, I, it is not worth it because it, it knocks down your confidence. You need to listen to voices that build up your confidence because you are the right parent for your child and your situation is not like random Susan on the Internet. It's so. It's different. I use my mom's name. Why'd that come out? I don't know. But it's like. Yeah, it's just you, you have to work hard to build up that confidence. And I think it takes like a community. I think you're in your community whether, if you want to make that online, you still have to make it small and certain voices that you're listening to and getting feedback from. But I, I love recommending in person community as much as possible. Yeah, there's nothing like it, it helps build your confidence because not only do you have someone saying, you know, this is something you could do, but they're also telling you you're doing a good job in this and this and look at what your kid is doing. You're doing a good job and you need your confidence built up. Back in the day, we used to not have everybody telling us, but I.

[Podcast Host]

Just, no, I was really proud of like, I was proud of my home and how it looked. I was proud of like my bread and how it looked. And I'm telling you, it didn't look good. It was edible. But it all was like, I really. Look at this dinner I made, like, and it wasn't special. It was just like, it was just dinner. And I was proud that I used like good ingredients and learned how to cook from scratch, but it wasn't plated up to special.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

I think also with real life stuff, real life people, you have context because when you see that short clip, you don't know anything about that person's life. You can assume all kinds of stuff. Even, you know, you put yourself on the Internet a lot. I put myself out on the Internet a lot. There's still so, so, so much people don't know. And real life people do. But on the Internet, you know, for the sake of privacy and protection and all this kind of stuff, you just simply, you curate. Even if you're not like a lifestyle like the one you were saying, where they like make, you know, like, kind of like my channel, like I'll make bread and I'll do this. Even if it's not curated, it's still curated because you're just simply not going to share everything because that would, that wouldn't be right.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And real life people have context for your actual. Like if you're going to compare yourself to somebody, you actually know what you're comparing to. They actually know you as well.

[Sarah]

Exactly, exactly. And I, I do. I feel for moms these days with the Internet, I think it's very valuable to make yourself turn it off a lot. A lot. And search when you. Of course, we all. It's such a benefit, let me say, to have a question and be able to look for someone that has an answer. When I started homeschooling, I didn't know any homeschoolers except a couple aunts. And so I would call them, but I just need more. And I was able to look to the Internet and it was such a. It was so helpful to me, but.

[Lisa]

There.

[Sarah]

We can't just like have these voices flooding us all the time that we don't even know. It's. It's too much. And I, I feel so much for these young moms that are just like, they need every gadget. They need every. It's stressing them out. They're stress balls. And it's not. Yeah, it's not a fun way to parent, you know, getting back that confidence in that we know what's right for our child. We don't need every gadget. We can get away with very little. Here's what might be important, but that there's so much that's not important that can fall away. And I've had babies. I was just telling this story online recently, is that I've had babies for 21 years. Right. When I went in with my first. I just knew I had a lot of experience with babies, and I knew I wanted him to have a pacifier. It's just what I wanted. And I know a lot of people are against pacifiers, but I knew I want that baby's gonna have a sucking reflex. I'm gonna have it with me. And I was giving him a pacifier at one point when he was well fed, and a nurse walked in and said, oh, you should never. Nipple confusion, blah, blah, blah. And so the second time, I didn't listen to her. When I went home, I did what I wanted because I had some experience, which really helped me with my confidence, Right. So I didn't listen to her. And then the next time I went in, I hit the pacifier because I brought one for my next baby. And the nurse came in and goes, she's fussy. She, I wish you would have brought a pacifier. We can get you one from the nursery. And I'm like, the last year, let me tell you, Lisa, I don't know, you haven't had hospital births a lot. You do it at home. But here, my first two I had.

[Podcast Host]

At the hospital where I live, they tell you all kinds of stuff you're doing wrong. I've been out of that world for a long time. Like, don't do that.

[Sarah]

I know. And I had the best hospital. I'm thankful where I live, it's illegal to have home births. It's ridiculous. I, I, let's not go there.

[Lisa]

But.

[Sarah]

Oh, wow. It's awful. But so every time I. We had a wonderful hospital that really let us make all our decisions. But I noticed just going in every 18 months, basically, for a long time, they change their rules constantly. They change their procedures, and they, they tend to lean toward the natural way of things. But still they changed. Every time I went in there, something was different that they were insisted on last time. And so you realize the medical words changing all the time. You get on the line, everybody's changing all the time. We have to know, we have to take confidence in the fact that there's some instinct that comes when you have that baby. And sometimes it'll take a few weeks to come, but it starts coming. Trust it, trust it, believe it. Like, just start leaning into your own intuition that the Lord gave you to parent that child. And we have to, we have to rely on that and trust that and let our confidence grow in parenthood and not have to be swayed by every voice we hear.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, absolutely. I think that's very encouraging. For, for young moms today because like you said, it's always changing. You're, you're always messing your child up in some way or another. They're, they're not going to make it because you didn't give them the right baby led weaning protocol or they, you reacted in some certain way when they threw a fit. I mean it just, it could go on and on and on and I think.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And can I say something very important?

[Lisa]

Yes.

[Sarah]

We all mess up all the time. Yeah. None of us are perfect parents. We didn't come from perfect parents. We're never going to be perfect parents. My 11th is not going to be parented by a perfect parent just because I had 10 before that I got to mess up on. No, because we're never going to be perfect.

[Podcast Host]

You know, you get tired too. Like you have to go take your walk or you know, like there's days where I'm like, you know what, I need to go to bed tonight at 8:30 and I realize half of you won't even be sleeping, but I just.

[Sarah]

I can't give anymore time out. I gotta go recoup here.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, that's me tonight. Because I've been sleeping like really bad the last couple nights because. Yeah. Anyways, you wake up like every three seconds to pee or have like a, like I have prodromal labor with my last two where I'll have contractions overnight and then won't have the baby for a week anyways. I'm like, I'm going to bed at 8:30. I don't really care if you guys are not even, you know. Oh man.

[Sarah]

Absolutely. We gotta be surviving to be able to help all of them survive. So. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So much encouragement here. I think that just even for me obviously, because I can always. Moms who are further along than me I love hearing from because there's stages that I'm probably going to feel blindsided by again that are coming soon. And I think you have so much encouragement to share. You've been sharing good stuff, encouraging stuff on the Internet for many years now. Tell them where they can find your channel and what's going on in your life. Like what kind of stuff are you.

[Lisa]

Sharing lately on your channel?

[Sarah]

I just passed my eight years date. Okay. Yeah. On YouTube.

[Podcast Host]

You and I are about the exact same. Because I think it was right at eight years ago that I started my channel too.

[Sarah]

Wow. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I should go confirm that. But what if we started like the same week? Because it really.

[Sarah]

I think we might have August 23rd so I need to go look back.

[Podcast Host]

It was somewhere around then.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And then yeah, we just share our life. There's always something happening in our lives. I, I YouTube is our tribe of many. I try to show up on Instagram but I'm much better on YouTube and I'm very consistent there. But yeah, we share. I do a lot of meal prepping, I show my grocery hauls for my large family. We don't share details of our kids lives but they're in our videos and we're just how we're just functioning as a large family. And this fall I'm going for, just found out I'm going for a month to Japan with my two youngest. That's going to be so weird for me. So I'm right now I'm trying to figure out how to prep my house because I leave in a month.

[Podcast Host]

So wait, did your husband go too? Did you say.

[Sarah]

Yeah, he's there right now with one of our kids. Our church is a part with several other churches. We planted a church in Japan which is like the second most unreached people group in the world and both of our older two sons have spent nine months there. One of our sons is there right now but they're needing help with leading the team for that month and I was like well I guess I'm kind of flexible. So a couple of kids are going to my mom's and I'm taking my youngest to and the rest they're going to function with my husband and run them homestead and milk the cows for me and do all the things and they're very capable. But it's just so interesting. Nothing we've ever done before. So anyway I just bring the camera along with whatever we're doing which is always wild and crazy. We got cows two years ago. I milk two cows every day and it's like something I knew nothing about.

[Podcast Host]

When you first like I think we talked about this when we first met like yeah, two or whatever, three years ago. And I don't think you had any desire but here you are.

[Sarah]

Here I am. How'd that happen?

[Podcast Host]

And you love it, I guess.

[Sarah]

You know. And I love learning. I love learning new things and so it's been a good challenge but. And it's great milk for our family. I just do the things that produce the most and the cows produce a whole lot for us including meat and milk and it's awesome. So yeah, anyway, so lot there's always too much happening here.

[Podcast Host]

You don't have to worry about content.

[Sarah]

Coming up with content, not so much, but, yeah, it's not beautifully curated. I love your videos. They're so beautiful. But mine are a little chaotic, but we are getting stuff.

[Podcast Host]

People like that, though. People like that, too. Like, they like. They like that real life. And. And you can learn so much from seeing how a family functions, you know, in a very real way. And so I think, yeah, obviously people love following along with you. So many people.

[Sarah]

It's fun. I do enjoy sharing. I've. I've enjoyed. It's been a huge blessing in our lives to have the YouTube channel, so I'm thankful for it. And I got to get to connect with a lot of other people, and hopefully it's a blessing in some of their lives, too, so.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, I'm sure it is. And over the last eight years, just how much things have changed for you to have documented that whole story over the course of eight years? You know, those are. Those are a big eight years because you had all little children when you started this channel. So.

[Sarah]

Yes. And we're. We're an international family. My husband's from Kenya, and so one of the questions I've been asked a lot of times by nosy strangers is, where did your kids come from? Because it's just you. Yeah. And it took me a while to figure out they thought they were all adopted, but they don't look so much like me, but they are all from my body. And so I tell them that. But. But yeah, we. So we travel overseas with our family to go visit my husband's family in Kenya, make sure they know their culture over there. And so, yeah, lots of moving parts over here, but it's an. It's a fun adventure. I love it. I don't like to be bored. And, boy, I've sure made my life.

[Podcast Host]

You made your not boring. You made sure your life wouldn't be.

[Sarah]

I would love to be bored now. I would just like to try it just for a day or two.

[Podcast Host]

You probably wouldn't like it if I ever have, like, not very much going on. My brain doesn't know what to do, which I know.

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Means something bad.

[Sarah]

I get it.

[Podcast Host]

I'm dysregulated, guys. But that's like. That's an Internet buzz.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Lisa]

I don't care.

[Podcast Host]

I think some people are more easily bored.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I. I can even see this in some of my children. Like, we are. We like a lot going on. And so, yeah, I think you're obviously the same.

[Sarah]

Same. I know I have nothing going on. I'm like taking up a new project in the kitchen.

[Podcast Host]

What am I gonna do today?

[Sarah]

Yeah, exactly. Right now I got. I'm making some tallow bomb because we ran out. I'm like, why am I doing this? Oh, of course I'm doing this. I don't know. Why would you?

[Podcast Host]

Somehow I felt bored today. And we have. You probably have your own beef tallow now, too.

[Sarah]

Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Awesome.

[Podcast Host]

Well, we will leave links down in the show notes, the description box below. But yeah, head over to YouTube, our tribe of many. For those of you who don't already follow Sarah, I imagine a lot of people landed on this video because they already follow you and they love to hear what you have to say. And podcast is a nice format to get out some of the words that maybe you don't always say on your videos. But yeah, make sure to go. If you don't follow along with Sarah, go check it out and see what.

[Lisa]

They'Re up to too.

[Sarah]

Yeah. Thanks so much, Lisa, for having me on. It's been fun.

[Podcast Host]

Yes, thank you.

[Lisa]

Thanks as always for listening to the Simple Farmhouse Life podcast. My husband Luke and I and our eight kids work together side by side on our little homestead and use our blog, podcast and YouTube channel to reach other homemakers, home cooks and home setters with practical recipes and daily family life. For everyday sourdough recipes, make sure to check out our blog for farmhouse on Boone.com and to dig deeper, we do also offer a course called Simple Sourdough over at BitVit Ly FarmhouseSourdo course. That's all one word. Bit Ly FarmhouseSourdo course.

[Podcast Host]

If you're looking to learn how we.

[Lisa]

Earn an income online, check out my YouTube course at Bit Ly farmhouseyoutubecourse. All one word sa.