Simple Farmhouse Life – Episode 312 Summary

Episode Title: What Changes When Your Kids Grow Up | Lessons from a Mother of 11
Host: Lisa Bass
Guest: Sarah (Our Tribe of Many)
Date: October 21, 2025

Overview

This episode features a candid, layered conversation between Lisa Bass (mom of nine, homesteader, and content creator) and Sarah from Our Tribe of Many (mom of eleven, ages 3 to 21). They reflect on parenting a large family, the realities of moving from little kids to big kids, how family dynamics and motherhood evolve over time, practical wisdom from managing a bustling household, and navigating the challenges and blessings unique to large family life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life as Kids Grow: The Surprising Pace of Change

• Having older children dramatically changes family life—faster and more profoundly than expected.
• The shift from all little kids to some being independent is fast and can feel blindsiding.
  • Lisa (04:00): "Four years ago, I had all these little kids, 12 and under... Now my oldest is 16, she can drive, and they're all aging into these more independent stages. The whole dynamic changes so fast."
• When some children move out, even a house full of kids feels quieter and less chaotic by contrast.
  • Sarah (06:17): "Recently, I had just my youngest five at home for dinner. It was so clean and quiet—that's wild considering five is a lot for many people!"

2. Building a Home for a Changing Family

• Lisa is currently building a new house and seeks advice from Sarah, who recently built a custom family home to accommodate not just current, but future needs.
• Planning for older children and eventual grandchildren informed Sarah’s home design, emphasizing spaciousness and flexibility.
  • Sarah (08:42): "We designed it with even our grandchildren in mind. We regret absolutely nothing, which I think says a lot in almost a year."
• Tips include zero-step entries, bathrooms attached to bedrooms for adult children, cubbies for each kid in the mudroom, and a master bedroom on the main floor for future aging.

3. Motherhood Mindset: Letting Go and Adjusting

• Having teens and adult kids offers perspective, lessening anxieties over the “right” way to parent or homeschool.
  • Sarah (14:35): "In homeschooling, once you have one graduate, you realize what they said is true: it does work out somehow."
• The importance of being flexible and regularly adjusting approaches, since one solution rarely works forever.
  • Sarah (22:21): "You're always adjusting. When things change, I look for solutions—I keep searching and pivoting if it’s not working."

4. Parenting Teens and Young Adults: A New Challenge

• Parenting young adults is fundamentally different and, often, more challenging than raising little ones.
  • Sarah (27:33): "My parents used to say the young adult stage is the hardest to parent... and now I'd agree 100%."
• It’s about influence rather than control, supporting but not directing, and learning to trust as kids make big life choices.
  • Sarah (29:00): "You’re watching your kids make decisions you wouldn’t make... It's a trust process—just letting go and finding a new balance."
  • Parenting focus shifts to support, prayer, and being present/interested in their world.
• The loss of “early bedtimes” and constant family togetherness—older kids’ schedules mean parents give more late-night attention, sometimes sacrificing sleep.

5. Grieving & Embracing Changing Family Rhythms

• There’s real grief in letting go of the phase where "all the kids are together"—meals, rides, outings become more fragmented.
  • Sarah (33:08): "My little kids will not have the same childhood my older ones did... there’s almost a grieving process."
• But, new joys emerge: rich sibling relationships across a wide age span, grandchildren, and adult children returning for visits.
  • Adapting traditions, like family dinners or vacations, to whoever’s present—letting go of perfection in togetherness.

6. The Big Family Myths & Realities

• Misconceptions abound: lack of connection, selfishness, or that big families are always overwhelmed.
• In reality, connection is strong, and kids gain much from sibling bonds and big-family energy.
  • Sarah (39:53): "I don’t get the ‘lack of connection’ criticism at all... I feel like we have even more time together than a lot of families."
• The hardest physical and emotional stage is when you have 5-7 small children—after that, flexibility and letting go are essential to survival.
  • Sarah (40:19): "You realize you don’t have as much control as you think you do, and letting go is beautiful."

7. Comparison, Overwhelm, and Modern Mom Challenges

• Social media bombards moms with advice, often conflicting, fueling overwhelm and undermining confidence.
  • Sarah (54:34): "Don’t listen to every voice that comes across your screen... It’s important to pick a couple voices you trust."
• The antidote: seek out mentors, real-life community, and recognize that every family’s needs and strengths are unique.
  • Sarah (61:27): "Real life people have context for your actual situation... you’re the expert for your own home."

8. Little Progress, Big Fruit

• Small daily investments—in home, homeschool, and relationships—add up to major results over time.
  • Sarah (16:15): "Every day of little progress ends up to be big progress... the little bits, they add up so much."
• Seeing kids succeed, develop their interests, and contribute is among the greatest joys.

9. Sarah’s Life & Content

• Sarah shares her everyday life as a large, multicultural, homesteading family on her YouTube channel, Our Tribe of Many.
  • Content includes meal prepping, grocery hauls, travel, homestead life with cows, and large family logistics.
• Advice for overwhelmed moms: focus on priorities, redefine “winning” as moving the needle in core areas (self-care, faith, homeschool, time together).
  • Sarah (55:41): "I’ve just changed it where it’s my priorities. If I walk that day, read my Bible, progress the kids in homeschool, and spend fun time with them—that’s my win."
• Encourages moms to resist the pressure of perfection and trust their intuition; all parents make mistakes and keep learning.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On flexibility:

  “When seasons are changing, the ones who handle it best are the ones who are flexible to change all the time.”
  — Sarah (01:08)

• On letting go of perfection:

  “My 11th is not going to be parented by a perfect parent just because I had 10 before… We’re never going to be perfect.”
  — Sarah (66:23)

• On seasons of parenting:

  “The grief and the change is real when everyone is not under your roof, but new blessings come too.”
  — Sarah (33:08)

• On mom overwhelm:

  "Don't listen to every voice that comes across your screen... pick the few you trust and tune the rest out."
  — Sarah (54:34)

• On young adults:

  “Parenting young adults is a trust process. It’s letting go and finding a new balance.”
  — Sarah (29:00)

• On comparison and social media:

  “It’s so overwhelming... those little videos come across like you’re doing it wrong. You have to shut it down if it’s knocking your confidence.”
  — Sarah (59:52)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:00] – The rapid shift from little to big kids
• [07:10] – Building a home for a growing and grown family
• [14:35] – How her homeschooling approach changed with experience
• [22:21] – The necessity of flexibility; perpetual pivoting in family routines
• [27:33] – The real challenges of parenting teens and young adults
• [33:08] – Grieving “the whole family together” phase, and what comes next
• [39:53] – Dispelling myths about connection in large families
• [54:34] – Advice for overwhelmed moms in the age of social media
• [61:27] – The importance of real-life communities and context
• [66:23] – Reminder: All parents mess up. Perfection isn’t required.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a wellspring of perspective—honest encouragement for mothers at any stage. Its central message: let go, stay flexible, trust your parenting journey (even when it looks different from others), and remember the value is in the relationships—the “party” of family life.

“It’s a party, including the mess... but it’s always a party.”
— Sarah (17:44)

Find Sarah on YouTube: Our Tribe of Many
Find Lisa: Farmhouse on Boone