← Sixteenth Minute (of Fame)
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Jamie Loftus
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Believe you've got parties to attend and lists to check twice, so DSW is taking care of the details, like gifts to make their eyes all aglow styles that bring joy to your world. Brands everyone wants like Ugg, Nike, Birkenstock and more and deals to make your budget bright. Find the perfect shoes for you and yours at a DSW store near you or dsw.com have you ever considered becoming a surrogate at my Donor Connection? You can help a family bring their baby home while earning $50,000 or more. Use your compensation to pay off debt, save for a home or achieve your dreams. We're looking for women who loved being pregnant and want to help others experience parenthood with unmatched support. Every step of the way, your journey will be life changing. Take the first step today. Visit mydonorconnection.com surrogate to complete our quick questionnaire and see if you qualify. That's mydonorconnection.com surrogate cool zone media hey everyone, Jamie here. Just reminding you that I will be on tour with Caitlin Durante for the Bechtel Cast Tour in Los Angeles San Francisco in Portland, Oregon this January. You can get IRL and streaming tickets in the description of this episode. See you there. But today we're talking about hogs. Let's get into the show. Wow. Wow. It's so great you're here. Welcome to the Minis, the first and last 16th minute award show where we give out seven I'm pretty sure seven made up awards to your favorite moments on the sometimes goofy, sometimes depressing, often both podcasts 16th minute. I'm your host Jamie Loftus and next week we'll be back to your normally scheduled programming, taking a look at the Internet's characters of the day and seeing how their viral moment affected them and what it says about the Internet and us. But to close out the year on our New Year's Eve episode, I wanted to take some time to reflect on this year on the Internet and on subjects of this show specifically. I recently asked listeners on Twitter and Blue sky and Instagram, ever heard of them? About your favorite stories on this show and what you'd like to see in the future. And I encourage you to keep letting me know what stories you'd like to hear about. And in the meantime, I wanted to give a trophy. And by trophy I mean an ugly drawing of a trophy that I made to my favorite moments. Not just on this show, looking backward, but to the moments whose 15th minute has not yet concluded. Because folks, it has not been a fun year on the Internet or in the world, I wanted to take a moment to have a little fun with my parasocial little friends. And for the record, the minis are fully inspired by one of my all time favorite podcasts who weekly whose Whomies episode I look forward to every single year and the Las Culturistas Culture Awards. So sit back, crack a Mike's Hard lemonade or whatever your personal equivalent is and let's dive in. Thank you for being a listener and welcome to the MINI Awards. Looking for excitement? Chumba Casino is here. Play anytime, Play anywhere. Play on the train, play at the store, play at home, play when you're bored, play today for your chance to win and get daily bonuses when you log in. So what are you waiting for? Don't delay. Chumba Casino is free to play. Experience social gameplay like never before. Go to Chumba Casino right now to play hundreds of games, including online slots, Bingo, Slingo, and more. Live the chumba life@chumbacasino.com VGW Group no purchase necessary. Voidwork prohibited by law. Seek terms and conditions the following ad is sponsored by Pets Best Insurance Services. Your pet is your bestie, your therapist your preferred match. It's easy to love them even when they sneak your snacks. It's easy to protect them too, with pet insurance coverage from Pets Best because it's all fun and games until they chew on something they shouldn't. With perfect timing, Pets Best helps protect your furry friend and your budget from this imperfect world. Get up to 90% on eligible vet bills for less than a dollar a day. Find your Perfect match@petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company. For all terms, visit petsbest.com policy. Oh, such a clutch off season pickup, Dave. I know, right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team. Oh, no. I meant those Blackout motorized shades. MVP of the room. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some from my mom too. You fly across the country to do the install? Nope. Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Look at you. Hall of Fame son. Oh, I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Oh. Blinds.com is the goat the goat shop. Up to 45% off select styles plus a free professional measured and a 100% satisfaction guarantee during the blinds.com year end blowout. Up to 45% off now@blinds.com blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. Have you ever considered becoming a surrogate at my Donor Connection? You can help a family bring their baby home while earning $50,000 or more. Use your compensation to pay off debt, save for a home, or achieve your dreams. We're looking for women who loved being pregnant and want to help others experience parenthood with unmatched support every step of the way. Your journey will be life changing. Take the first step today. Visit mydonorconnection.com surrogate to complete our quick questionnaire and see if you qualify. That's mydonorconnection.com surrogate. We have one more act for you this evening. I don't even need to say his name. Mr. Bob Dylan, a complete unknown, is now a Golden Globe in critics choice nominee for best picture. Bobby, what do you want to be? Whatever it is they don't want me to be. Timothy Chalamet astonishes as Bob Dylan in one of the best performances of the year and critics rave. Edward Norton is absolutely fantastic. 70,000 people are here and Bobby is the reason for it. They just want me singing blowing in the wind for the rest of my life. Don't miss the movie. Critics are hailing five stars. It's pure cinematic magic. Turn it down. Pay loud and named to AFI and the national board of reviews top 10 films of the year. Make some noise. BD track some mud on a carpet. A complete unknown now playing only in theaters. Rated R under 1790. Middle without parrot. Welcome back to the Minis. 16th minutes. First and only award show. For your favorite moments on the show this year and my favorite moments on the Internet in general, let's get started with a very competitive category. Best supporting character in a 16th minute story. Your nominees are. The cousin from the Wicked Witch of the east bro story who pulled out a knife even though most people who watch the video don't notice that I'm gonna stab him. From our tumblr Bone Witch episode. The bones from our Mormon episodes. The torturous search for meaning and order in life that often can lead one down the path of subservience and even cruelty. From our Fish who Fell from the sky episode Alice the fish. The wickedly talented 30 to 50 feral hogs. And finally from our Boston Slide Cop episode the Slide. Very competitive category, tell you what. But there can only be one winner. And that winner is the Slide. Congratulations to the Slide. Very, very close race. People love those damn hogs. We're so thrilled for them. Unfortunately, the Slide is still stuck in Boston due to being an inanimate object, but sent along this following message as an acceptance. I'll try to read it in character. What the fuck's up, you guys? Thank you for my flowers for wiping out that fucking pig. Go Bruins. Wow. Really amazing. Congratulations to her. Next up we have our technical categories. There's just a couple and we're going to start with best cinematography. In a viral moment, 2024, your nominees are at the Pawn Nandi or Mu Dang Zookeeper who shot her to fame earlier this year. The next nominee I honestly could not find a name for, but hopefully the more respectful photographer who caught the you were so rude to me moment at the Grammys from Chapel Roan as she yelled at a different photographer. Correctly, I might add. Your next nominee, Risa Tisa of the who the fuck did I marry? TikTok compilation. Some of the most thrilling in the car multi part vertical cinematography ever committed to a lady's phone. Please excuse the hair, but here is part one of who the fuck did I Marry? And finally, the cameraperson who managed to not even laugh a little as the holding space for defying gravity moment happened during the Wicked press tour this winter. I've seen this week people are taking the lyrics of defying gravity and really holding space with that and feeling power in that. I didn't know that that was happening. I've seen it. Yeah, that's really powerful. Oof. Lot of moments. A lot of moments. A lot of innovation in the field. But the winner, Risa Tisa, who would have also won best writing for an original set of viral videos showing some of the strongest work in my opinion, in that genre since Zola. A true storyteller. Incredible great cinematography from Risa Tisa. And now for a 16th minute specific technical sound or the only thing that I am able to provide you with in this flawed and imperfect medium. Let's check out the nominees. Best use of sound in a 16th minute episode. Our first nominee has been nominated kind of the Meryl Streep of this category. You could say the air horn. Here's an example of some really powerful air horn youth in 2024. Your next nominee, Sad13, aka Sadie Dupuis for the 16th minute theme. Oh, this is thrilling. The third nominee is me saying hell yeah every time I got very uncomfortable while interviewing the curvy wife guy. And finally, an exchange I had with the Philadelphia chicken man, Alex. When I asked him why he was cutting up traffic cones with copper wire, I said, to what end? And he replied, nominee number four to the very end. Very competitive category. And the winner is a dead tie between two Philadelphia legends. First winner to the very end. Yes, indeed. Tied for the best sound aired on this program in the last calendar year was my voyage to Philadelphia to go to the man who ate 40 rotisserie chickens in 40 days. An icon, a legend. And for some reason in the middle of the interview, he let me know that he cuts up traffic cones using copper wire. Allegedly to relax you remember it. And I certainly can't forget it. It haunts me in a good way. So congratulations to the tie in winner, Alex Taminsky, who said this very scary thing to me and is a wonderful guy. Let's take one more. Listen. I was doing this one really strange thing where I was cutting traffic cones with copper wire in my basement. To what end? The very end. Okay. Hell yeah. And bonus, he was generous enough to send along an acceptance speech. Here it is. So I was informed that there was a handful of people that found interest and enjoyed the story of how I spent a good amount of time cutting orange traffic cones in my basement with copper wire. Yeah. Super honored and touched that, you know, people found something good about it. Yeah. Just a big thanks to all of you and to Jamie for giving me an opportunity to share my story and I hope everyone out there can find their cone and cut it. Thank you so much again to Alex. He's the best and he shares this distinction with Sad 13. Sadie Dupuis tying with the 16th minute theme. This is by far the least prestigious award Sadie and company have ever received as she is one of the most decorated women in her field of her generation. I'm not kidding. The fact that she's even willing to collaborate will always be a baffling honor to me, which is why she is also receiving tonight's special award. Let's get some air horns. The 16th minute lifetime achievement award goes to. Sadie Dupuy. And to accept it, here is a voice memo I asked her to text me. Imagine my surprise when I was walking into a mafia themed pizza restaurant in a strip mall in the suburbs to find out that I had won some awards. I was not expecting to win anything this year. I want to give a big shout out to Jamie and to Sophie and the whole Cool Zone media team and everyone who works on 16th minute. I love this show. I listen obsessively every single week. I skip past my song because that's the mental illness that I have. And I had a really fun time going on Reddit to talk to some of you guys and talk about the theme song which apparently most of you like, other than the one of you who thinks you can make it better, shout out to that person. I am recovering from a surgery right now. I haven't played guitar or sang in quite a while, but I when I heard that I'd won some awards, I felt just recovered enough to do a little special rendition of the theme song. So this is the preamble to my acceptance speech. My acceptance speech is the unrehearsed song to follow. Thank you, Jamie. Thank you, Sophie. Thank you. 16th minute. Thank you to Internet main characters everywhere. This is Sadie Dupuis, aka Sad13, signing off with gratitude. I'm not so bad when you turn off the lights but one can't be perfect all of the time so make me a star far let's take it too far Give me one more minute 15 are not enough 16. 16th minute of fame 16th minute of fame 16th Minute of fame One more minute of fam. Hey, not so bad when you take me offline But I'll be your main character till we say goodbye. Wow. I mean, things are heating up tonight. And our next category is my personal favorite, best niche character no one has ever asked for an episode about, but I would like to make anyways. And the nominees are. Lucas Kavar, aka the 19 year old who got locked in a cave the first week of his freshman year of college. And it was reported in the New York Times, but never broke through to the mainstream, although I think about it constantly. Your next nominee, Club Chalamet. Hi, everyone. This is Simone Cromer. I'm the administrator of Club Club Chalamet. And today is the first episode of Club Chalamet Conversations. Interesting. Third nominee, Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi. Because no one asked for this, but I already did it. And finally, a popular nominee in this category, every single story about a baby that's a little too big. I have a question for everybody who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando. And the winner is. Yes, Lucas Kavar, the cave kid. Thank God. Yes. While Club Shallow Bay still stands to get a chance to get her own episode down the line. And I may be forced at some point to write a story about a baby who used to be a little bit, but is now 19 or something. But no, there will never be an episode about my favorite story of all time, a story absolutely no one remembers about Lucas Kavar, the cave kid. And I'm pretty sure Lucas wants it that way, but I won't allow it to happen. Here's a story from the New York Times. In the moment. Ian, let's get a little action music going here. Lukas Kavar screamed for hours, hoping to get someone's attention. Bats, salamanders, crayfish and beetles were his only company. Stranded in the cave without food or water, he was unsure that he would ever see his family again. He wrote notes to loved ones on his phone, which did not have a signal. He licked moisture off the cave walls and became so hungry he thought about eating crickets. What was supposed to be a fun adventure turned into a hellish 58 hours for Mr. Kovar, a 19 year old Indiana University student who was left behind during a group expedition on September 17th to Sullivan Cave near Bloomington. It's the greatest story ever told. It's poetry. You wouldn't get it. Congratulations to Lucas Kavar. And let's throw an extra trophy to the cave. And when we come back, two of the most contentious awards of this year's minis. 16th minute's guest of the year and yes folks, 2024's main character. We'll be back. The following ad is sponsored by Pets Best Insurance Services. Your pet is your bestie, your therapist, your preferred match. It's easy to love them even when they sneak your snacks. It's easy to protect them too with pet insurance coverage from Pets Best because it's all fun and games until they chew on something they shouldn't. With perfect timing, Pets Best helps protect your furry friend and your budget from this imperfect world. Get up to 90% on eligible vet bills for less than a dollar a day. Find your Perfect match@petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company for all terms, visit petsbest.com policy have you ever considered becoming a surrogate at my Donor Connection? You can help a family bring their baby home while earning $50,000 or more. Use your compensation to pay off debt, save for a home or achieve your dreams. We're looking for women who loved being pregnant and want to help others experience parenthood with unmatched support. Every step of the way, your journey will be life changing. Take the first step today. Visit mydonorconnection.com surrogate to complete our quick questionnaire and see if you qualify. That's mydonorconnection.com surrogate we have one more act for you this evening. I don't even need to say his name. Mr. Bob Dylan, a complete unknown, is now a Golden Globe in critics Choice nominee for best picture. Bobby, what do you want to be? Whatever it is they don't want me to be. Timothy Shella astonishes as Bob Dylan in one of the best performances of the year and critics rave. Edward Norton is absolutely fantastic. 70,000 people are here and Bobby is the reason for it. They just want me singing blowing in the wind for the rest of my life. Don't miss the movie. Critics are healing. Five stars. It's pure cinematic magic. Turn it Down, Pay Laugh and named to AFI and the National Board of reviews top 10 films of the year. Make some noise BD track some mud on a Carpet. 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Go to knicks.com that's knix.com oh such a clutch off season pickup Dave. I know right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team. Oh no. I meant those Blackout motorized shades. MVP of the room. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install. No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some from my mom too. You fly across the country to do the install? Nope. Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Look at you hall of Fame son. Oh, I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Oh. Blinds.com is the goat the goat shop. Up to 45% off select styles plus a free professional measured and a 100% satisfaction guarantee during the blinds.com year end blowout. Up to 45% off now@blinds.com blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. Foreign welcome back to The Minis, the first and last 16th minute award show where unfortunately you just missed our special musical performance tonight. It was of course the Kidz Bop rendition of Espresso. I Guess so. Taking sleep when I know that's that me. Espresso. Really good stuff, you guys. Better than the original? Well, no. Amazing job, kids. I look forward to seeing you as future victims on cable procedural shows. And now we have gotten down to it, babes. The final two categories of the minis. One for the character of the year and one to the character who made this show very special. Yes. Our next category is favorite 16th minute guest. Your nominees are the Philadelphia Chicken Man, Tasica Brown, the Gorilla glue girl, Willy McNabb, 30 to 50 feral hogsman. Antoine Dodson, Hide your kids. Hide your wife, Ken Bone. And finally, Lena Morris, the overly attached girlfriend. This category genuinely has been stressing me out. I asked you, the listeners, to choose your favorite 16th minute guest. This is not my favorite guest. They're. They're great. But you guys chose it. And after tallying, tallying, tallying up, your winner is Willy McNabb, the 30 to 50 feral hogs man. Congratulations, Willie. He won your hearts and minds with the truth. You should be concerned about between 30 and 50 feral hogs coming for your children, it turns out. And Willie did an excellent job of highlighting how the Internet is dominated with city dwellers, often to the detriment of rural Internet users. I was inspired to make this episode by a reply all episode from years ago. Willie is such a wonderful person and I am so pleased that he won. I informed him that he had won this prestigious award and he sent along a memo. First, I want to say thank you, Jamie, for inviting me on. Your willingness to discuss this topic speaks to your desire to actually addressing a very difficult cultural issue. You were respectful to those with differing opinions than yours. You were kind, balanced in your reporting and thoughtful of all parties involved. 16th minute of fame. Being named one of the top 20 podcasts of 2024 is no surprise to me. I wish you nothing but continued success and happiness in all aspects of your career and life. Second, because of this episode and your listeners, a lot of money was donated to Culture City, which is a nonprofit for sensory accessibility and acceptance for those with invisible disabilities. So a very thing did come from all those T shirts which sat in boxes for almost five years. Thank you to everyone who donated. Third, the reason all of you found out about me was because of my reply tweet. I know there is new ownership of the platform and I know he can make the platform to feel less inviting than it was, but in my way of thinking, substituting another billionaire social media platform for his doesn't make much sense anywhere we go or Any platform we use, the platform will be owned by someone who is using our words as a profit center. Don't let that dissuade you from speaking out about what you want or what you believe in. Finally, if the jokes made at my expense help bridge the gap between rural and urban life, if it helps people from different walks of life sit down with each other with an earnest desire to listen to someone who doesn't look like them, talk like them, or live like them solely to understand one another better, I'm here for it. If that sentiment becomes my legacy because of this tweet, I'm perfectly fine with always being known as the feral hog guy. Once again, thank you, Jamie and your listeners for your love of this episode and in keeping with the lovely Willie McNabb's work and mission, you can learn more about Culture City in the description of this episode. And now, everyone, our final category of the Minis. It's the big one. 2024's main character of the year. Your nominees are. Mu Dang Mu Ding Heads into the new year. Bigger than ever. A late entry, but significant nonetheless. Luigi. We definitely know who wins time Sexiest Alleged murderer of the year. That would go to Luigi Mangione, the suspect in the shooting of the CEO of United Healthcare, who's become the hottest cold blooded killer Hawk TUA girl, Haley Welch. What's one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time? You gotta give him that hawk too and spit on that thing. Jules Lebron, who popularized the word demure. You see how I do my makeup for work? Very demure, very mindful. I don't come to work with a green cut crease. I don't look like a clown when I go to work. I don't do too much. I'm very mindful while I'm at work. What category would be complete without the Rizzler? I'm gonna say Scooby Doo snacks. The Scooby. The gummies? No, the. Oh, the cookies. Yeah, the cookies. The bone shaped ones. And finally, Australia's own ray gun. Her breakdancing had everyone talking for all the wrong reasons. Is that a kangaroo reference? Ronnie now breaking her silence a week after she left fans reeling from that performance at the Paris Olympics. Now, this was a very difficult decision for the board to make. And by the bored, I mean me at three in the morning. It's impossible to know which of these people will stand the test of time, even though we all know it is probably Luigi. But when it comes down to it, the main character of 2024 is not the most historically significant. It is the person who represents the year, a year on the Internet that has been defined by Griffith, by lies, and by desperation. No, I am not talking about the Rizzler. He's a kid and that would be bullying. The winner can only be Hawk to a girl. Yes, indeed. Hayley Welch, absolutely Speed ran through the main character experience in 2024. And while I will wager a guess that her 15 minutes will continue, going from summer TikTok talking Headstar to CryptoGrifter in six months or less is truly astounding. But of course, the story is far more complicated than that. Right? So even though Hoktua and Hayley Welch's story will continue, I have a feeling I won't be talking to her anytime soon. So we're going to take a look at her fame and what it means about us next week. And that will conclude the first and final annual Mini Awards. Let's have those Kidz Bop kids play us out. Just terrible. Thank you for listening to 16th minute this year. We'll be back next week breaking down the Hoktua crypto grift with guests Molly White and Ed Z. And then we're gonna get back into the main characters you know and love. You can comment on episodes you'd like to hear in 2025 on our Reddit board and follow me over on Instagram amycrisupersuperstar as well as on Blue sky and Twitter. Next year is gonna be so much better, guys. Just kidding. See you next week. 16th Minute is a production collection of Cool Zone Media and iHeartRadio. It is written, hosted and produced by me, Jamie Loftus. Our executive producers are Sophie Lichterman and Robert Evans. The amazing Ian Johnson is our supervising producer and our editor. Our theme song is by Sad13. Voice acting is from Grant Crater and Pet Shout Outs to our dog producer, Anderson, my cats Flea and Casper and my pet Rock Bird who will outlive us all. Bye. With Kroger brand products you can get all of your favorite things this holiday season. Because our proven quality products come at exceptionally low prices and with a money back quality guarantee, every dish is sure to be a favorite. From sweet sugar cookies and holiday ham to that perfect slice of pie. 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