Haley Welch (3:42)

Can you turn up your lights B all the time.

Jamie Loftus (3:48)

So make me a star.

Haley Welch (3:50)

Let's take it too far and give me one moment. 16 minutes 16 minutes 16 minutes.

Jamie Loftus (4:29)

Welcome back to 16 Minute, the podcast where we talk to the main characters of the Internet to see how their moment in the spotlight affected them and what that says about us and the Internet. And this week we finish our look at Hayley Welch, aka Hawk to a Girl, the main character of 2024. After a shockingly fast run in the public eye between the summer and winter of 2024, Haley went from an unknown who was confronted in the street by wannabe Girls Gone Wild style influencers to the face of a crypto scam run by Howie Mandel's scumbag son in law. And whether you like her or not, that sounds very overwhelming. And if you want to catch up on what happened with Haley after this halt to her career, which was marked by an SEC investigation, a disastrous digital press conference. Anywho, I'm going to go to bed.

Haley Welch (5:29)

And I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Jamie Loftus (5:31)

And a long subsequent digital silence. Please check out our previous episode where you'll learn what was happening behind the scenes. In these months of alleged silence, speculation ran wild that Haley would go to jail as a result of the investigation. A few places speculated that she was pregnant or dead, and many thought she would either voluntarily or just end up having to return to her normal life in rural Tennessee, where this time last year, at the time of this recording, she was working in a local spring factory. And while it appeared that not just Haley Welch but her entire team were careful not to say anything publicly when the investigation concluded, this didn't stop them from banking faze banking. One could even say a future episode of Talk to A While still on Jake Paul's better podcast network at this time that seemed to want to serve as a what went wrong kind of thing. I would say calling it an apology would be a huge stretch as we unpacked in our last episode, but more of an attempt to express some light remorse and get the public back on her side. Although this episode, as we discussed, still included ads for crypto sports betting apps and seemed to reach the conclusion that Haley should be open to trying crypto again, but this time she should do it smarter. But this episode leaked in early February, allegedly by Haley's team, nearly two months before that SEC investigation closed, and it completely blew up in their faces. Not only is Faze Banks, a fellow government investigated cryptogrifter, furious that this episode of Talk to A came out beforehand, the public was not buying the attempted mea culpa in the slightest. So Haley and team went dark online again until late March, the week that TMZ published the following headline Hawk to a Girl off the Hook for Hawking Meme Coin. Incredible journalism. And that is where you join us today. So let's hawk back to a in late March 2025 when the second act of Hayley Welch's career was hard launched in the hopes of gaining not just the forgiveness of the public that her team had defrauded a few months earlier in an egregious crypto scam, but also recapture the same excitement that existed around her in the early days of the hawktua meme. She first teases this in a poorly rendered comedy sketch that she posts to her Instagram in which she reenacts all the false rumors that existed around her during the four months of SEC induced silence.

Haley Welch (8:27)

Breaking News. Haley Welch has been shocked to see Haley Welch, the hawk to a girl has died.

Jamie Loftus (8:35)

But what is suspiciously missing from this sketch is any direct mention of of said crypto fraud investigation. The only reference to crypto or a scandal of any sort is a short monologue joke clip pulled from Stephen Colbert. The results of the investigation, which were no surprise during a Trump administration that had literally started selling their own meme coins pre inauguration, were announced two days later and the stage was set for an attempted hawk to a comeback. And boy were there Attempts Haley & Co. Which at this point appears to be somewhat reduced. It is unclear the size of the team, but definitely consists of her of her best friend Chelsea, who is also her co host on the Talk to a podcast of a lawyer and possibly some managers and publicists. But during this period of time when they have not been cleared to speak publicly, they are waiting in the wings to parlay this into whatever the next chapter is going to consist of. And what I mean by this is that it was revealed in late March that they were filming a documentary the whole time from an Emmy winning streamer documentary factory called Bungalow, who have released documentaries about a lot of stuff, but including some pretty serious topics, 13 days in Ferguson and Little Richard I Am Everything being their two most successful projects. So it's clear that Haley's team cannot wait to push Haley Welch and Hawk Tua back into the public eye after the SEC investigation closes. And so in the days to come, there are a bunch of very random feeling announcements made. There's the formal announcement of the documentary I hope y'all been enjoying the crazy stories about my life unfold on social media. First I was dead, then pregnant, Now I'm wanted by Interpol and in jail. Luckily we've been working with Bunglo to start spilling the tea and the truth is actually even more bizarre than you think. There's also the announcement that the Talk to A Podcast will return with the confirmation of what I had suspected because of not receiving my Talk to A Change My Life shirt. They had in fact severed ties with Jake Paul and the Better Network. Hayley Welch and Better Holdings Inc. Have mutually agreed to end their partnership regarding the Talk to A podcast and wish each other well in their future endeavors. Better and Welch said in a shared statement the podcast will instead be produced by Welch's own company, 16 minutes. And as you'll hear, the word produced is quite generous. But weirdest of all, Team Welch announces that she is going to have a cameo in an upcoming Glen Powell project. I truly do not know any other details about this and find it very bizarre, but here is a bad AI generated YouTube celebrity news channel insisting upon it.

Haley Welch (12:00)

Halier Welch is reportedly back on the.

Jamie Loftus (12:02)

Scene and doing her thang in La la land. The 22 year old meme queen who.

Haley Welch (12:07)

Shot to fame as the Hawk Tua.

Jamie Loftus (12:09)

Girl following a viral TikTok video, filmed a cameo for Glen Powell's upcoming show.

Haley Welch (12:14)

In Hollywood this past weekend, according to TMZ.

Jamie Loftus (12:18)

So yeah, Hailey's team is really throwing stuff at the wall here. Which to be fair, isn't incredibly different from how her career was being run at the peak of her relevance. But a flash in the pan star making a cameo in a B movie? That's kind of a classic. That's a tale as old as time. But of these announcements, the only thing given a date and a guaranteed release was Talk to A and I couldn't help but wonder.

Haley Welch (12:45)

I couldn't help but wonder what was.

Jamie Loftus (12:46)

The new approach to the podcast going to be and would anyone still want to listen to it? Because the more time that passes, and unfortunately this is very common in these stories that we cover on this show. People were moving on at the time I'm writing and recording this. Coffeezilla isn't making videos about Hayley Welch anymore. And while I'm sure those videos would get decent engagement, my guess is that he hasn't bothered. Because algorithmically, when it comes to crypto malfeasance, he's got bigger fish to fry right now. Here are just some random clips from the last three months of his content pump and Dumps. Why are they legal Today? Elon Musk and Joe Rogan are going.

Haley Welch (13:37)

To tell us the answer. The whole meme coin thing is bananas and we're gonna just jump into it now. I wanna say it's an auspicious day. Not only are the Epstein files about to be released, we also released Andrew and Tristan Tate.

Jamie Loftus (13:53)

They're free to leave Romania. All because, according to the Financial Times, the White House and government officials have.

Haley Welch (14:01)

Been pressuring Romania to let these poor, persecuted influencers go. Today I discovered there are AI ads running on YouTube of me scamming people with AI and crypto.

Jamie Loftus (14:16)

Truly my worst nightmare.

Haley Welch (14:18)

Reimagined.

Jamie Loftus (14:19)

I thought it couldn't get worse. And again, I would genuinely recommend his channel if you're interested in better understanding how these scams are being pulled off. And I would also recommend my fellow Cool Zone media friend Ed Zitron on Better Offline. But the point is, while a really good reporter, Coffeezilla is as beholden to the algorithm as anybody. And it's possible that with so much else going on in the world, that Hayley Welch isn't the algorithmic bait that she was six months ago at the time of this writing. And it feels horrible to have written that down and to say that it feels so reductive and it bums me out. And I started this show because I think that that is a very sad tendency. But if you were a person whose numbers are beholden to relevant current events, Hawktua didn't carry the same cultural relevance it did by the time that the SEC and Hawk coin settled in March 2025, as they had just a couple months earlier. And that's for a number of reasons. Haley's career burned bright and fast, and she didn't have a history as a public figure prior to Hock to A and didn't have anything el for people to glom onto. And even Less likely, she went viral, and some might argue went more viral than usual because it was an election year. And if the result of that election year is enthusiastically pulling a scam that someone in the White House would do just a few weeks later, that's a lot of noise to yell over, and it's only if you want to. When I was finishing our first series on Haley and the Hawk to a saga, she was still, for lack of a better phrase, taking a nap. And it was intentionally unclear whether she wanted to forge ahead with a career in social media or if she was going to take stock, say, hey, this year was fucked up, and then buy a house and pack it in as soon as the SEC declared her innocent. A part of me kind of hoped that she would. A lot of people, myself included, thought it seemed pretty clear that Haley was being used by some pretty lazy half assed schemers, whether that be Howie Mandel's failed musician son in law turned crypto moron, or Jake Paul, a man who bravely kicked an old rapist's ass on live TV and wasn't even proud of it for the right reasons. The speculation around Haley Welch was complicated, but by the time Talk to a relaunched on April 8, 2025, people had moved on. Haley hadn't gotten any better at interviewing the set independent of Jake Paul's better network was completely unedited and lo fi. And while I'd say the only improvement on the show is fully putting Chelsea in the second chair, good call. It is still a really boring show. I'm sorry. Okay, well, welcome back to another episode of Talk to A. It's been a hot minute since we've been back here, but now we're the official owners of Talk to A and we may or may not have flew to London to get a very special guest for you. We got KSI, yo yo. And as before, the more experienced in media guests kind of starts to interview Haley when she fails to interview them. And unfortunately, the guest whose name you just heard, like Faze Banks, does warrant some introduction. KSI or JJ Olatunji is one of these fucking guys too. He started online as a popular gaming streamer, has a history of sexist and racist comments, and of course eventually parlays the millions of mostly children consuming his slop into a string of influencer staples. This means professional boxing, alternative rivalries, and business partnerships with various Paul brothers. This means insidiously marketed products to children. And of course this means promoting a pump and dump crypto scheme in early 2024. KSI is one of the world's most popular YouTubers. But yesterday he accidentally exposed the pump.

Haley Welch (18:59)

And dump crypto scams that he promoted.

Jamie Loftus (19:02)

They've been hidden for two years, but only came out when KSI logged back into his old Twitter account saying, does this still work? And if you're wondering was that Coffeezilla busting KSI? Yeah, I don't know how he does it. He's busted everybody. But crypto scams of any kind don't really come up in the return of Talk to A, which as Hayley is quick to mention, is now owned by her company, not Jake Paul's.

Haley Welch (19:31)

This I know is going to annoy Jake Paul, but I'm glad you're free from his grasp and are able to flourish and be well. One of the best podcasts. A butterfly.

Jamie Loftus (19:47)

Yeah, a beautiful butterfly. What's the beef with Jake Paul?

Haley Welch (19:51)

I mean it's been going on for years, man.

Jamie Loftus (19:54)

With all due respect to KSI, and my understanding is there is very little do the commenters on the new Talk to episode on YouTube appear to be in agreement that his appearing on her show is a sign that Haley's career may be on its last legs. The podcast was filmed in London and the winking in reason that KSI is the guest appears to be because he has a fairly long standing feud with Jake Paul in spite of the fact that he is in business with Logan Paul on two of the most disgusting products on shelves today, those being Prime Energy.

Haley Welch (20:35)

This morning there's a new warning for parents and kids about energy drinks. Maybe you've seen Prime Energy on social media. Yeah.

Jamie Loftus (20:42)

Brandy Smith explains why the drink is getting so much negative attention. Schools are actually banning it. And Lunch Lee, the Lunchables with mold.

Haley Welch (20:51)

Look closely because Mr. Beast is disgusted by his own product. Lunch Lee. And it got worse when this woman bought Lunch Lee to try it for the first time. And there was mold inside.

Jamie Loftus (21:01)

This is molded.

Haley Welch (21:03)

That's mold.

Jamie Loftus (21:04)

And as will become relevant, KSI is on the similar Paul brothers path of starting as a famous gaming streamer. And by the way, I thought it was funny that he talks about playing FIFA in a video game as if he is a professional soccer player himself. Do streamers do that? What was the first thing you got like really known for?

Haley Welch (21:28)

Oh FIFA.

Jamie Loftus (21:29)

What is FIFA?

Haley Welch (21:30)

So FIFA is like football game or soccer game where I know you pass the ball around the pitch and then you put it in the net. Do you come up with that? No, I did not come up with.

Jamie Loftus (21:43)

You just played it? No.

Haley Welch (21:44)

So I played the game yeah, yeah. And then I just make various videos on it and it just went viral.

Jamie Loftus (21:50)

I found that very distracting. What I was saying is that KSI has done celebrity boxing first against Logan Paul at the Staples center in LA in 2019. But really, outside of knowing that he is also one of these guys and that it appears that the new strategy of the podcast is to bring on people who will not challenge Haley and also do not like Jake Paul, there's not much to say. The rest of the interview is about KSI's career, some awkward flirtation, and Haley speculating on what's next for her without addressing why she was in trouble in her career to begin with. Folks, the podcast is boring, and the episode itself is devoid of any remaining sponsors, except for, surprisingly, Haley's pet rescue nonprofit, Paws Across America. Honestly surprised they're still going. I hope they're doing good things. But that is all there is to report about the returning episode of Talk to A. And worst of all, the episode ends like this.

Haley Welch (23:10)

Thank you.

Jamie Loftus (23:11)

Oh, thank you for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. Of course, is it even Talk to A if Hayley doesn't ask KSI what he does in bed to make a woman go crazy? I was not impressed with the return of Talk to A. And I was not alone there. Because as I'm writing this around a week after the episode launched on YouTube, it only has about 60,000 views, compared to the height of 2.8 million views while on the Better Network just six months ago, or Coffeezilla's 4 million views for criticizing her just two months ago. The episodes of the podcast that have come out since have done even worse. And while they do reveal more information about what Haley and Chelsea were pursuing during those months of the SEC investigation interim, including a reality show, there's not much to go on. But as a loyal listener, I have consumed every goddamn second. And I wanted to share the sentence that made me laugh so much from guest Chanel west coast.

Haley Welch (24:18)

But I really wanted to collaborate with Drake. I just did Drake's dad's podcast, like two weeks ago, actually. His dad.

Jamie Loftus (24:23)

His dad?

Haley Welch (24:24)

Yes.

Jamie Loftus (24:25)

His dad is the funniest guy ever.

Haley Welch (24:27)

You guys have to meet him.

Jamie Loftus (24:28)

That is the worst brag I've ever heard in my life. But that's about all I have to say about the podcast outside of that. And that video only got 12,000 views in two days. So. Hayley's company, which I will remind you is called 16 minutes, now, owns the IP for talk to A. But if this is any indication, does that mean anything? Honestly, I don't think so. And so, while it's safe to say that Haley has technically survived the court of public opinion and that she didn't experience a legal consequence, I'd be surprised if she manages to get the relevance she had back without the support of a big Internet piece of shit Goliath, like a Paul brother propping her up. While I very much doubted that the Hawk Coin team would get into much trouble, given the administration and the increasing lack of regulation around crypto, I did want to understand how this was possible. Because for the time being, this is a grift that has reached the highest levels of government. So are we going to see more of it? And how, besides staying the fuck away from crypto, can we protect ourselves? When we come back, investigator John Reed Stark explains why there was never a chance in hell that Ms. Haley was going to jail.

Haley Welch (26:07)

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Jamie Loftus (27:06)

Oh, wow, a real person.

Haley Welch (27:08)

Yep. I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to. Well, I've got a complicated project. No problem. We make the complex simple. I can even help schedule a professional measuring installation.

Jamie Loftus (27:20)

I didn't realize you did that.

Haley Welch (27:22)

We can also send you samples fast and free.

Jamie Loftus (27:24)

Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling's always a Nightmare.

Haley Welch (27:31)

Not with blinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling, pressure or hidden fees either.

Jamie Loftus (27:37)

Hmm.

Haley Welch (27:37)

I just might have to do more. Whatever you need. How about you tell me what you had in mind.

Jamie Loftus (27:42)

Okay then. So the first room we're looking at.

Haley Welch (27:45)

Is for guests coming over and I'm thinking of some blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows, all backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Shop blinds.com now and get up to 50% off with minimum purchase rules and restrictions may apply.

Jamie Loftus (28:02)

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

Haley Welch (28:04)

Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted?

Jamie Loftus (28:10)

If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

Haley Welch (28:15)

That take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back.

Jamie Loftus (28:22)

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Haley Welch (29:59)

My name is John Stark. I'm an attorney, a cyber attorney. I've been practicing law for 35, 40 years now. Went to Duke Law School, then started working at a law firm and then I joined the SEC in 1991 and then I went on a detail to the US Attorney's office and did street crimes, guns, drugs and domestic violence for a little bit. Then I came back to the SEC and started doing cyber. In 1994, became the special counsel for Internet projects at the U.S. securities and Exchange Commission in the Division of Enforcement and Then started teaching securities regulation and technology at Georgetown Law School around that time. And after that, it just kept growing and growing and growing. And in 1998, they decided to create an office. And I was the founder of the office, the Office of Internet Enforcement. It was the first specialized group in the history of the SEC, and that was 1998. And I was made the chief and grew that office to a great group of attorneys, enforcement lawyers, and ran it for about 11 years, a little more than 11 years. And then I left there to lead the office of Strauss Friedberg, which was a data breach response firm, cybersecurity firm, forensic, digital forensic firm, and ran their DC Office for most of the next five years. And then Stras Friedberg got bought by Aon. So I left and started my own firm, John Reed Stark Consulting, in 2015. Sort of does anything. I don't have anything to do with crypto. I don't have any financial interest in crypto. Nothing short, nothing long. Started writing about it in 2017 because I was doing a lot of ransomware cases and I realized, but for Bitcoin, there would be no ransomware. Ransomware is when a firm gets attacked and they have to pay in order to get to decrypt their data or to stop a company, a cyber attacker, from name and shaming them from publishing their data. So, yeah, you realize that suddenly these payments, which were growing. So I started writing about it in 2017 when President Trump, Maxine Waters and Hillary Clinton had one thing in common. They all hated crypto and thought it was a terrible thing and ridiculous and went on the record saying that they didn't want anything to do with it. So I thought it was a nonpartisan issue back then, but it's not anymore.

Jamie Loftus (32:31)

First of all, thank you so much for being on our HOCH 2A. I really appreciate it. In the last couple of months, you know, as Trump has become, you know, nothing but pro crypto, of course, it's not really talked about very much that this is a change. Can you sort of walk me through what that change looked like and why it happened?

Haley Welch (32:50)

Yeah, it was. It was something that I predicted a couple years back, because the crypto community, it's. If not for the fact that they love crypto, I love the community. And there's a lot of irony in crypto, which you, I think, would appreciate more than. More than most people is, for example. Right. Crypto was created to decentralize after the financial crisis of 2008. Crypto was said, let's take away the power from the Big banks. And let's find something where we can go go peer to peer ourselves. We don't need these big banks in the middle. Well, what do we have today? We've replaced the big banks with a bunch of big crypto companies. So that's the number two one, the President talks about this new Bitcoin reserve, that strategic reserve that the government's going to have. But if you look into the details, what's in that reserve are assets, crypto assets that have been seized in accordance with asset forfeiture laws, which any libertarian will tell you asset forfeiture laws are the most anti libertarian laws you could have in the sense that this is crypto taken from people who've been arrested, they haven't been convicted of anything and their crypto was seized. So like any other asset forfeiture, it's never an area, as a former criminal prosecutor that I thought was appropriate. So sure. Anyway, you can see lots of different ironies in crypto. But the idea was that I think initially that this crypto was going to undermine the dollar, that no private currency has ever worked. And the intermediary is critical for the consumer and it's critical for the government. There's about a dozen or so anti money laundering laws that essentially tell you that you have no right to financial privacy. And I don't like that. And you don't like that. No one likes that. But this is the reality. The Anti Money Laundering act, the Bank Secrecy act, the USA Patriot act, after 9, 11, this is how the government gets bad guys. They cut off the ways that they can use and spend money. And that means that you go into the bank and if you withdraw $10,000 more than $10,000, that'll trigger a suspicious activity report. If you do something weird, that'll trigger a suspicious activity report. And your activities will be reported to the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network. And a criminal prosecutor or the SEC might start looking at all your financial records because of that. And that's just, that might be something you disagree with and I respect that. So you can go to the government and say, hey, let's change those laws. But those are the laws that are on the books right now. So crypto essentially bypasses all of those laws. So as someone said in one of my spaces the other day, I love crypto. I can take $5 million worth of it and go on a plane and go anywhere in the world that I want and no one will know the difference. And so yeah, well that's not supposed to be allowed. So that's why? You know, so I think with respect to crypt crypto, most people were against it. It's created incredible amounts of crime. Drug dealing, child pornography, human sex trafficking, ransomware attacks. North Korea has stolen more than $6 billion worth of crypto and is using it to finance their nuclear weapons operation. Why care about it? What utility does it have? It went away tomorrow. Would anyone care?

Jamie Loftus (36:03)

You compare this moment with regards to crypto, but just also with the SEC and where the economy is at in general to the 1920s. Can you tell me a little bit more about that? Because I know that that sets off alarm bells. And virtually anyone who knows about the stock market crash, sure.

Haley Welch (36:23)

If you look at any of the financial crises, whether it was the subprime crisis or the depression after 29, here's what happened in the 20s, right? There was everybody, everything was unregulated and buying socks and bonds was like buying clothes at Target. There was nobody protecting you or anything. So what happened was there was this terrible crash and it impacted everyone and created this big depression. So the government sort of said, you know what, when it comes to investments, we're going to be different. It's not going to be like buying anything else. So they enacted the 1933 act, the Securities act of 1933, which essentially said, hey, if you're going to raise money for an investment, you have to register with the SEC. Then they passed the 34 act, the Securities and Exchange act of 34, and they said, hey, if you're going to create a platform to transact in these investments, then you have to register with the SEC and you have to be subject to audit inspection, examination, net capital requirements, all kinds of disclosure, licensure of your individuals. So that's what 34 acts, and then the 40 act said, hey, if you're going to bundle all this stuff in a mutual fund, or if you're going to give people advice about securities and about investments they should buy, you have to register as well. So all of these big registration, which are incredibly onerous, it's very difficult to register with the sec, whether it's an offering or whether you're a platform or anyone else, you're going to subject yourself to this financial colonoscopy at the whenever the SEC wants, either routine or for cause. But it's been pretty good if you generally go back to all. Since that time, there have been a few bumps in the road, but generally the economy has flourished and this sort of environment of heavy regulation has kept most people honest and has also given the consumer the customer all sorts of avenues. If they get scammed, you know, they can reach out to the sec, they can reach out to state regulators, they can reach out to the FBI. Everybody has jurisdiction over these entities. So if they wake up in the morning like The Celsius block 5 Voyager FTX investors did, and they can't access their money anymore, imagine the panic that they felt. And you can read the Celsius, Celsius especially the investors submitted these affidavits, and you can read how terrible it is. That was what my life was like at the SEC for the 20 or so years that I was there. I talked with investors who'd lost their life savings all the time. And you start to realize there's no standard composite or profile for those kinds of people. They can be sophisticated, they can be unsophisticated. They've all. What they have in common is that they let their guard down. Maybe they got greedy. Maybe they want to get rich quick. Maybe, like the Madoff investors, they only wanted 1% over prime. They weren't greedy, so they had comfort in that.

Jamie Loftus (39:09)

So that was the thing that really struck me about when I was speaking with Molly and Ed a couple months ago about crypto, of how, you know, the majority of crypto users, it's not quite an act of desperation, but it's someone with a little bit of pocket cash trying to turn a little money into more money because it's hard to exist. And how many, like normal people, end up getting scammed?

Haley Welch (39:33)

That's the point, Jamie, is it's always the working person who gets scammed in the end. Everybody else gets away with it. The best example, you know, I live in Washington, D.C. in the DMV, and I'm a Washington Wizards fan. And I've been a Wizards fan for, whatever, 30 or 35 years. It's been torture, okay, for my. Myself and my family. The good news is I know all the people who work at the Wizards games because I've been going to these games forever. So my son and I are in the elevator and we see two of the security guards, and they're like, hey, Ms. Sark, I saw you on 60 Minutes. Because I was talking about this stuff on 60 Minutes a few months ago, and I said, yeah, yeah, did you watch it? And they're like, oh, well, you know, I didn't see it until the end. You have something about crypto. What? What were you talking about? I said, well, you know, it's a dangerous investment. There's nothing to it. There's no substance to it. It's all fear of missing out. And they kind of looked at me, both of them, and they were like, but we heard it was a great thing to get into, so we both invested. And I was like, all right, guys, look, I'm not here to tell you what to invest in or what not to invest in, but do you understand what it is? Do you know what it is that you're buying? And they both like, we have no idea. And I said, well, start with no one knows. Start with that premise. If you don't know what it is and you can't articulate what it is, then don't invest in it. That seems like a pretty basic notion that people have completely forgotten about with this emperor has no clothes notion of crypto.

Jamie Loftus (41:01)

I'm curious. You also write in your editorial about. And something that I'm trying to understand better, too, is, you know, just three months ago or three or four months ago, I was having conversations about Ms. Hawk to a Hayley Welch, who had a meme coin launched on her behalf. She was the face of it. She was pushing it, and there was a rug pull. It seems like there has been a lot that's happened since then, because when I was doing these interviews, people were like, well, maybe she will be made an example of by the sec. You know, like, this could be because it was getting so much press. Maybe this is a chance for someone to be made an example of. So, I mean, from your perspective, what has been happening with the SEC in the last couple of months that's giving you such pause?

Haley Welch (41:48)

Well, it's really incredible, and I'm not being hyperbolic. I'm not exaggerating. I'm a bit of an SEC historian, having worked there for 20 years and taught securities regulation for both at Georgetown and Duke and really studied the agency. The about face that the agency has done on crypto. This radical turnabout is unprecedented in SEC history. So I'll give you some of the basic things that they've done. First of all, in the last three or four years, the SEC has brought over 200 enforcement actions. The SEC is like any other civil litigants. They bring cases when somebody violates the securities laws. And their civil actions, you can refer it to criminal authorities, which in our office we often did, and have parallel actions. The SEC is a civil agency. So they bring their cases. They bring them in federal court in front of Article 3 judges, which are judges set by the Constitution, who have life tenure, and they get to rule on whether the SEC is right or wrong about whatever they think, whether they think something is a security, whether they have jurisdiction, those things all go to judges. So the SEC had filed over 200 of those enforcement actions. And in my mind, they have won every single one of them. Okay, now that is unprecedented. Now you might say, well, John, I don't necessarily believe you. Well, I spoke at the SEC roundtable recently and I put together an 89 page statement. And in those 89 single space is a section where I go over every single case the SEC has litigated with respect to digital assets. I explain what the ruling is, I pull out the excerpts, and I'm telling you, the SEC is one every time. Telegram Kik lbry, Kraken, Coinbase Finance. Win after win after win after win. So, and they've been, and these were filed, there were 80 or 90 of them filed under Jay Clayton, who was President Trump's original SEC chair appointee. He's now the new U.S. attorney for New York for the Southern District of, of New York. But 90 of those cases, 80 or 90 of them were filed under Republican administration. So then a Democratic administrator came in and they created a crypto unit. They even then they started bringing these cases in. Oh, my gosh. Was the SEC winning? It's one thing to win the cases when you're at the sec. We won, I think all of our cases when I was at the sec, but I never had cases against big law firms who were being paid tens of million dollars to fight against me. But that's the way it was at the sec. The SEC would bring these cases. These people would hire former SEC enforcement directors. They would litigate these cases with volumes and volumes of motions, massive discovery, and judges as a result, whether they were deciding a motion to dismiss, which is when the SEC files a case, someone might say, you know what, no matter what you say, we didn't violate any law, so this case should be dismissed. That's the motion to dismiss. Then later on after discovery, they say, look, no matter what you found, there's been no violation. That's summary judgment. So the SEC was winning on motions to dismiss and summary judgment because all these defendants were saying digital assets are not securities. And judges were all saying, yes, they are. Whether they're initial coin offerings, whether they're simple agreements for future tokens staffs, whether they're staking products, whether they're lending products, whether they're celebrity endorsement products products, whether they're intermediaries trading digital assets, whether they, they all should be registered as exchanges, as broker dealers, as clearing firms. SEC's winning every single time. And the judges are writing these opinions that are 100 pages long. Like the Kraken decision 100 pages long.

Jamie Loftus (45:36)

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

Haley Welch (45:39)

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Haley Welch (46:06)

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Jamie Loftus (47:04)

Oh, wow, a real person.

Haley Welch (47:06)

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Wow. I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling is always a nightmare.

Haley Welch (47:30)

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Haley Welch (47:47)

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Haley Welch (49:20)

So here's what happened. So, so the SEC is on a roll. They're suing everybody. Every day there's new new decision. Every day there's a new lawsuit. All of these companies are running, are fighting back. And, and it's kind of interesting because the SEC action used to be a scarlet letter. You know, if you were hit by the sec, don't expect to do business with anybody ever again. Because that kind of thing. Well, they were wearing it like a badge of honor. Like this rogue SEC has come after us. Their regulation through enforcement. They're using all these strange little catchphrases, but this is how the SEC brings cases. There's no such thing as regulation by enforcement. There's just enforcement. You bring cases. Insider trading, derivatives fraud, muni bond fraud, foreign payments fraud, whatever it is, you bring it under their anti fraud provision. So the SEC are winning all these cases. All of a sudden, President Trump wins reelection. Acting Chair Mark Uada takes over at the sec, and he and Hester Peirce, both of whom I knew when I was a staff attorney there, especially Hester Peirce, I knew her pretty well. They had been dissenting on all these cases the SEC was bringing, but the sec, the majority of the SEC commissioners were saying to bring them. And again, they were winning everyone in court. All of a sudden, Mark Ueda comes in, three things happen. Four things happen. Number One, he dismisses all the appeals, any, any appeal the SEC had, anything like that. Gone. Number two, he dismisses or pauses every single crypto related enforcement action period. Gone. Number three, he closes every major crypto investigation, maybe even more. I don't know how many he's closed because it's non public. But the ones that are public, they're all, you know, so excited because they're all, suddenly they've transformed.

Jamie Loftus (51:05)

I mean, I, I think this story we're covering is probably a part of that wave where it just went away.

Haley Welch (51:11)

Exactly, exactly. So Hoktua swept up in that wave. And then the third, the fourth thing. So appeals, appeals, active litigation, investigations, that's three different categories all gone, zippo, disappeared as if they never happened. Then the crypto unit, which the SEC had beefed up and celebrated with all kinds of fanfare, is shut down and is given a new name called the Cyber Unit. The head of that crypto unit, who was the head of litigation, who had won all these cases, was on all the litigation. He was transferred to the Office of Information Technology. I don't know what he's doing there. He's like fixing printers or picking out drivers for printers. He's gone, he's disappeared. Gone. There were two co heads of the crypto unit. One of them disappeared. Gone. At least 20 or 30 people in the crypto unit disappeared. Gone. I don't know if they've retired. I don't know what they're doing. The new Cyber Unit chief spoke at our conference last week and very nice lady, Laura Delandria I think is her name, or dellaird, I might be pronouncing it wrong. And she really spoke about what they're not doing, which is we're not bringing these kinds of cases. We're not doing this kind of work. We're working towards retail investors. I'm not sure what she meant by that, but all I can tell you. And then the SEC started issuing these regulatory pronouncements. Some of them they just would put on Twitter on X and they would. They said one of them was meme coins are not securities. Boom. Over, done. So any meme coin. And that was done. You know. You know, I don't know. A week or two after President Trump and Melania Trump had launched their meme coin. So the SEC said, these are not securities.

Jamie Loftus (52:51)

That blows my mind.

Haley Welch (52:53)

Yeah. Let's be clear here that, you know, President Trump campaigned to be the bitcoin president. He campaigned to throw out Gary Gensler. He campaigned to make the United States the Crypto capital of the world. And he's, he's. This is a promise made and a promise kept. You can't disagree with that. He was very clear what he was going to do. These crypto firms, they weren't winning in court, but they spent about 200 million to win the elections. And they did, they did it brilliantly. They destroyed anyone who was anti crypto, just about everyone. I mean, I think Elizabeth Warren survived, a few of them survived, but most of them did not survive. And so this is the President's mandate. You can't disagree with that notion. I don't like it. You know, I think it's bad for the world, but it's.

Jamie Loftus (53:40)

Yeah, he's certainly been successful.

Haley Welch (53:43)

He said this is what he's going to do, and he's doing it. So, you know, and, and he's doing it through the sec. Now, the SEC has historically has never done this kind of turnaround on anything ever. So it's very. And Meme Coins is a perfect example. Now, one thing about Meme Coins that I would say so recently there was an article, it was in just about everywhere about if you bought the President's Meme Coin and you were one of the top, I don't know, 220 purchasers of his Meme Coin, then you would get access to a special party he was having and get a tour of the White House. Now, you know, here's the, here's the irony of this again, more irony, which, again, I've studied you, so I know how much you love irony. Okay? So this is another great one. So my view has always been crypto has no utility, that if it went away tomorrow, Blockchain is a bunch of bunk, a bunch of nonsense. You know, you spoke with Molly White at Zitron. You read the concern tech letter. The blockchain is just a glorified append, only limited writer spreadsheet. It's not an iPhone. It's not transformative, it's not innovation. None of this is innovation. However, I might be wrong about utility because the reality is crypto is emerging with utility number one. Okay, it has utility for criminals, but I don't know if that's a bona fide utility. But the President is now created a utility because he's saying, hey, buy my Meme Coin and you're going to get access, whether that's lawful or not. I'm not an expert in any of that. But he's created a utility for his Meme Coins. Now, the Hawktua Meme Coin. I don't see, every one of these is a facts and circumstance case. I don't see that having any utility. But if she did. Yeah, no, if she just said at the beginning, the top 200 people will get to meet me and come watch my podcast live, then you can sort of say, I mean, here's the thing, Jamie, is that the SEC now believes suddenly out of nowhere that crypto is a collectible. Okay? That it's just like a collectible. It's not this mathematical computational equation, okay, this blather of code, unsolvable problem of code is a collectible. Now, I can tell you, I can give you three quick reasons why it's not a collectible. Number one, because when I talked about it on 60 Minutes having no utility, I was talking about the XRP token. I got death threats. My got death threats. They said they're going to burn my house down. If I were talking about Rolexes and Pokemon cards, I don't think I would have gotten that reaction. So that's number one.

Jamie Loftus (56:22)

Yeah.

Haley Welch (56:23)

Number two, if you go to your brokerage account, right, your whatever it is, Robinhood or wherever you're buying your secured investments, you'll go to the tab and you'll see, you know, stocks, bonds, maybe options, and then you'll see something that says crypto so you don't see Pokemon cards, Beanie Babies and American Girl Dolls on that pull down screen. Okay? So that's the second reason. The third reason is that every single Article 3 judge that has ever reviewed this idea of whether a digital asset is a security in whatever iteration, be it ico, simple agreement for future token staking, lending, all those things I mentioned before has said it's a security. And those Article 3 judges mark Ueda as acting SEC chair can't disappear. Those decisions, they're on the books. So the SEC has just chosen to ignore them, to abandon, to abdicate its mission of investor protection. I talked about the crash and the depression that followed in 29. And the SEC was created to protect investors. They're not supposed to protect collectors. So their idea is, hey, these digital assets, they're collectibles. It's caveat emptor. And it's a walking dead, post apocalyptic marketplace where there's no protection, anything goes. And it's all driven by fomo. There's no earnings, there's no balance sheet, there's nothing you can look at. You can't get their 10Qs or their 10Ks or other SEC filings because there aren't any. So it's just FOMO you're just betting that someone else is going to be dumb enough to buy this and it's going to go up. Yes, that's it.

Jamie Loftus (58:12)

And gosh, that's so, so, so, in short, crypto is being effectively treated by the SEC right now as if it's Beanie Babies.

Haley Welch (58:22)

Yes. Or American Girl Crazy. I'm not sure. Beanie Babies, American Girl dolls are Pokemon cards. That would be the three categories people.

Jamie Loftus (58:29)

Are being kind of professionally disappeared from that were working in the Biden administration just a couple months ago. Has there been. I mean, I know you have sort of been at the forefront of this, but has there been a lot of people speaking out? And if not, why, you know.

Haley Welch (58:49)

Oh, there's a good reason. This is actually very easy question. Every single SEC lawyer, most of them go out into private practice when they leave the sec, fcc, and they work for a big law firm or they work for a company, whatever, but most of the time they go work for a big law firm. And big law firms make huge amounts of dollars from all these digital asset companies. And so you have a fiduciary responsibility to your partner. So you won't hear a lot of lawyers unless they're law professors or just. You've got to find someone who's independent and objective to hear what their opinion is on crypto. I'm independent and you can disagree with me, but I don't make a nickel from my opinion. Not a penny, not a dime. All I get is grief from having this opinion, nothing more. Right. You called me to ask me to do this, and I'm always very reluctant for, I'm sure you can attest I'm always reluctant because, like, you know, I'm chasing windmills here and I'm all alone because none of my former SEC colleagues who were perfectly happy to tell me to whisper in my ear, you're absolutely right about crypto. None of them are in a situation where they can say, where they can speak out. So very few lawyers will speak out against it. And from a political standpoint, it would be suicide to speak out against crypto. Only if you're the most, one of the strongest politicians, will you survive. Because the crypto lobby is incredibly well capitalized. They've already set aside 1 or 200 million for the midterms. So fail. Not at your peril. If you get out and speak against crypto and you're a political congressman, why not just say, hey, if it's innovation, I'm all for it and I want it to be done the right way. That's a way to avoid getting these people from putting a target on your solid deflection. But it's so funny. You say it's innovation, but in the rest of the sentence, you say it's an American Girl doll or a beautiful Beanie Baby. So you can't have it both ways, but they want it both ways. And so they'll masquerade it as innovation and they'll use that as their sort of subterfuge to get you thinking. Well, and you can't really blame the President because he came out and he said he was going to do this and he's doing it. So as much as you might dislike what he believes in the reality, the reality is he made it very clear this is what he was gonna do. And these people have been cut loose and they're running wild in Washington and they own the city. They really do better than any other lobbying group in the history of the world. And Molly White, I know you mentioned her, she's done some very meticulous studies on all of this, and it's mind blowing. But that's the way our political system works. So, again, that's not my area of expertise. Maybe that needs to be fixed. Everyone seems to agree that it should be. But right now, these people pedal extraordinary influence. And you don't see it if you, if you watch Patrick Boyle on YouTube, did this really great thing on crypto where he just went over every campaign that the crypto lobby was supporting and showed how you wouldn't really know that they were supporting them. So they do this brilliantly. I mean, they wrote their. They wrote their own playbook. Again, you know, you gotta hand it to them. You know, they wrote their own playbook. They were losing in front of these judges over and over again, and they found a way to win and they won big. They won huge. They got rid of Sherrod Brown in Ohio. They spent $40 million.

Jamie Loftus (62:14)

If this remains unchecked, if most people who could potentially speak up against this feel like their hands are tied or their future is sabotaged by speaking up about this, what are we looking at?

Haley Welch (62:29)

Well, you know, if you're a financial historian, you know that all this is crypto is one big Ponzi scheme, I don't see how anyone can argue against that because, again, it's.

Jamie Loftus (62:39)

But what if it was an American girl?

Haley Welch (62:41)

Well, I get it. But in terms of Ponzi schemes, and a Ponzi scheme is just where you're just buying again, trying to beat out everyone out. And it's like a game of musical chairs. You don't want to be the last person holding it. So if the Ponzi scheme keeps going, sooner or later, all Ponzi schemes crash. They crash. Typically when things get bad. If we were to have a recession, maybe, for example, because of these tariffs, the country goes into a depression. But the economic news has been very good lately. But suppose the country goes into a depression. People generally. This is what I saw a lot at the sec. When things get bad, people will flee to safety, and they will move out of their most risky alternative investments. And everybody agrees, no matter what, how fanatical you are about crypto, that it's a risky alternative investment. You can't get anyone to not admit that it's like gambling. So as soon as things go south with the economy or the economy hits a recession, with all the ransomware attacks growing and growing in sophistication. When I taught at Duke Law School, and there was the Colonial Pipeline ransomware attack, where the Colonial Pipeline was shut down, you couldn't get gas in North Carolina. You couldn't get home from the airport, couldn't get a taxi, couldn't get an Uber car, couldn't get a rental car. There was no gas anywhere. And I got to tell you, it started to get a little scary, you know, not just economically, but suddenly you were thinking, you know, the police can't get to my house, you know, and. And it just happens just over a few days. So if these ransomware attacks hit infrastructure or hit hospitals, when those things kind of start happening, I think governments like the National Security Division will wake up at the Department of Justice and say, we've got to stop the crypto, because that's what doing it all. If. If North Korea is able to build these nuclear weapons facilities purely because of crypto, which it seems like they are with the $6 billion that they've stolen. Think about that's the greatest theft in the history of the world. The banking regulators, the fdic, the Fed, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, have been very, very strict about allowing banks, traditional financial institutions from doing anything having to do with crypto. The crypto firms called this operation Chokehold. And I think that's a fair name, but I think it's a fair name because it's exactly what made sense. You know, the banking regulators, they didn't prohibit these entities from doing them, but they said to them, if you do anything involving crypto, we're going to come in and examine you. And there's no way to, you know, these crypto are such dark markets. You don't know who any of these depositors are. You don't know what's going on in these marketplaces. You don't know where this pricing. So the chokehold was perfectly legitimate. Now the Trump administration has come in and all of those guardrails from the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, from the fdic, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation and from the Federal Reserve have all been lifted. Okay, so suddenly banks can get in the business of selling crypto. Morgan Stanley, for example, I read an article, I don't know if this is true, that 15,000 of their brokers are going to be cut loose to sell crypto. So if you're suddenly like, what can a broker say to you to buy crypto other than buy this crypto? It's an asset, I don't understand. But it might go up because a lot of stupid people buy it. Anything else that's said? If you say it's a store of value, that's not true. If you say it's got great potential, that's not true. If you say it's an innovation, that's not true. If you say it's a great market, that's not true. But they're gonna, you know, brokers are great at selling products to the elderly, to the people who don't understand, and even to the big institutions. So these bogus investments are going to be peddled everywhere, just like subprime derivative instruments. And that can, as a contagion, spread across the global financial marketplace. So those are the various scenarios. A big ransomware attack, a financial contagion, or just a recession. Any of those three things will trigger a pendulum swing in the other direction. And maybe the SEC will wake up and decide not to abdicate its mission of investor protection because they'll realize that, oh my gosh, we're here to protect investors. Yet again, they've labeled these people as collectors. And that's really not right. Everybody knows that's not right. It doesn't pass a straight face test. We have to protect people because not just to protect them from themselves, but it also creates systemic risks. So you might just say, I was on a panel just a few weeks ago at George Mason University and one of the professors was like, go ahead and do with what your crypto, Go have your fun. I don't care. It's not going to impact me. And that's just wrong. You know, it will impact you because of the crime associated with it. And Olympics impact you. When it all comes crashing down and your 401k is suddenly worth half what it was, or your 529 for your kids is worth half of what it was and you're freaking out because how are you going to afford to retire? How are you going to afford to pay for your kids education? And then you want accountability and you're going to say where was the sec? And you're going to like you say the SEC was watching Beanie Baby and Pokemon movies and not considering the reality of their mission, which is to protect investors. And that's a sacrosanct mission that they've just abandoned for political reasons that historically, whether you're Republican or Democrat, it's really unsettling and disturbing to be to watch that.

Jamie Loftus (68:26)

Thank you so much to John Reed Stark. You can follow his work at the links in the description. And before we get into the concluding thoughts on this second Hawk to a series. This is Jamie from the Future the day before the podcast comes out, telling you one last thing somehow, which is that as Hayley Welch continues to hard launch herself back into the mainstream, she's been doing the rounds in press with a new publicist, not the one that got her into the crypto scam. And one interview came out during the writing of this episode that I think is worth mentioning. So in addition to the fact that Haley is indeed returning to Celebrity Poker and already has at the time I'm recording this, which there's that there was an interview published on May 2nd in Vanity Fair with writer Chris Murphy, an article that even features a photo shoot of Haley wearing a little white, white lace dress in what I absolutely am certain is an Airbnb rented for the photo shoot. It is the fakest looking place in the world and I wanted to share two bits of this interview that are relevant. So first, Haley does do this interview with her new publicist at her side and appears to be allowed to talk about the crypto scandal in public for the first time time. From that, Chris Murphy asks, what have you learned from that experience? Do you have anything to say to the people who lost their money? Haley replies, I would say personally what I learned from it. Let's see. I don't know, I just feel really bad for anybody that lost money. All my comments, if you read those people are like, oh well, I lost a lot of money in this. Now my kids have to go without stuff. I don't know, it makes me feel feel like really sorry for it. Chris Murphy asks, after the crypto scandal, you went off the grid what were you doing for those three months? Where were you? Hayley replies, oh, I hate to say this, but this was a much needed mental health. Just what do you call it? A mental health break I guess is what you can call it. Okay, so I think it's interesting that there's a lot of sorrys in here. But of course the sorrys don't have to mean anything because the SEC investigation is closed. No one, including Haley, is required to make this right on behalf of people who lost money. So her reply is sowy and the interview closes with Chris Murphy asking, why, as someone who is so sorry about the quipto scam, why Hayley Welch is about to head to Las Vegas to play celebrity poker. Here's that exchange Chris Murphy says, you're playing in a celebrity poker tournament fresh off the crypto scandal. Do you have anything to say about those optics gambling after some people lost their money on your coin? Hailey does not reply here, her publicist does. Replying say the question again. Sorry, I'm just confused. Chris Murphy says, some might say that it's not a great look to be gambling so soon after a money related scandal. I'm just wondering if Hailey has anything to say to that or has a response. Once again, Hailey's publicist replies, oh, we're gonna skip over that one. Ay yai yai. Okay, that's it for future Jamie. Let's close out the episode. And that I promise is the last you're going to hear of Hayley Welch on this show. For my own mental health, if nothing else, at this point she has made it clear that she is not ready for her 15 minutes to end. But man, if the best guest for your comeback is the third most successful co creator of the Lunchables with mold and if the numbers and attention that the return pulled in, it's gonna be a difficult road ahead. So while I do believe that Hayley Welch is very much a sign of the times, a young woman who had no social media aspirations or aspirations to fame being launched into prominence against her will, signs that shady ass managers who immediately capitalized of and disposed of her, defrauding regular people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars in the process. But even as an individual there is a kind of desperation to this comeback that is hard to watch. And call me naive and I'm sure that plenty of people on the Reddit board will, but I still think that this is a story about class more than anything because it's hard to deny that Hailey is a certified scammer or at best, scammer, accomplice. At this point, and unfortunately, coming from a low income family in Tennessee, I think the financial security and not having to return to her job at a spring factory is just as relevant to the story as the idea that she might be kind of hooked on the attention and might not be ready for the big moment to end. There is more than one thing going on here, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to just get your clicks. But the 15 minutes are probably over. And as we talk about on this show every week, the 15 minutes being over has a way of breaking someone's brain. But careers have highs and lows, and I can't say with confidence that Haley doesn't have a second act in her. We've seen it before in many people. Life is long, right? But for the time being, the most depressing part of all of that is, even with these already diminishing returns, I don't think that Haley or any of the parasites that remain on her team are gonna stop chasing whatever the latest influencer grift is. It seems like they're in too deep. And the reason I think that is because there's this one part of the KSI interview on the return episode where Haley all but confirms this. You ever think I could box?

Haley Welch (74:47)

Would you want a box?

Jamie Loftus (74:48)

I actually do want to box. Really? You got to give her some tips. Yeah, I need some tips. Or you can just try me.

Haley Welch (74:55)

Who would you want to fight?

Jamie Loftus (74:56)

They brought up bad baby, but that is. No, that's no way. Perfect. It's like the world's biggest memes against each other. Oh, my, my.

Haley Welch (75:06)

That would be.

Jamie Loftus (75:07)

Personally, I like her. I don't think I could. I feel like I have to have somebody I just. I just despise. Ah, yes. The next attempt to keep her fingernails wrapped around the right wing grifting machine. Sports betting via celebrity boxing. This interaction bummed me out for a number of reasons. The first being that this cheeky question from Haley almost exactly mirrors how she foreshadowed that her team was about to pull a massive crypto scam a few months ago. This is from the episode of Talk to a with Mark Cuban from back in November.

Haley Welch (75:45)

Oh, yeah.

Jamie Loftus (75:46)

If I want to main coin, can.

Haley Welch (75:47)

I give you some tokens?

Jamie Loftus (75:48)

Yeah, I'll give you my wallet.

Haley Welch (75:49)

I'll give you my wallet. Okay. Are you sure you're gonna launch? I don't know. I'm not a big fan about meme coins. I love crypto, but. But you can make some money from it. There's no doubt about it.

Jamie Loftus (75:58)

No doubt about it. It's exactly the same. And while the crypto sports betting industry, her former employer better being a pretty solid example of it, is a firmly modern act of desperation for a person who's been professionally disgraced, or as in the case of many women, professionally disgraced and then humiliated in a very gendered way. Even though that is all true here, celebrity boxing as a means to hang on to relevance predates Internet culture. And maybe I'm saying this just because I saw I Tonya in theaters 14 times, but I really do believe this. And her opponent across the ring fighting out of the blue corner wearing the stars and bars and also choosing not to disclose her weight.

Haley Welch (76:47)

She's a woman world class figure skater, a two time Olympian, a world bronze.

Jamie Loftus (76:52)

Medalist and United States champion, the charismatic and unpredictable Tanya TNT Harding. This is Tanya Harding, a one time American Olympic figure skating forerunner who was extremely unbelievably talented, but was thought to lack the precise femininity associated with figure skating. She was a little bit rough around the edges and lacked the money to get the quote unquote right outfits and social graces. She had a difficult life. She was raised by a single mom and was in an abusive marriage, one that culminated in her then husband Jeff Gillooly hiring the worst hitman of all time to take a crowbar to, who was painted in the media as Tanya's primary figure skating rival at the time, a woman named Nancy Kerrigan, who by the way, was in the same tax bracket as Tanya, but was just thought to be better at being feminine. The world is hell. Tanya's involvement in the planning of this attack was, and I don't know, minimal if anything. But it didn't stop this from ruining her career. She was banned from competing professionally in figure skating for the rest of her life. And this affected her ability to not just live with dignity, but to make a living at all. To quote my favorite movie, I, Tonya, starring Margot Robbie. Once I was banned from figure skating for life, I didn't have a lot of options, did what I had to do to just stay in the public eye and pay the bills. I was the second most known person behind Bill Clinton in the world. That meant something. People still wanted to see me. So I became a lady boxer. And so Tanya turned to one of the only ways that she could make money on that name because she was no longer a name that could sell products like Nancy Kerrigan could. And she wasn't allowed to participate in figure skating professionally at all. And so she had to get creative. And there was this show called Celebrity Box Boxing that started in 2002. Let's get ready here. This was a franchise version of something that had proven to make for a pretty successful pay per view event all the way back in the 90s and would usually pair up two people who were once very culturally relevant for some reason, but now were slightly less so. A great example is about between former 70s teen idols Danny Bonaduce and Donny Osmond. Celebrity boxing, not for nothing, is a show that started airing on Fox around the same time that Girls Gone Wild. The show that would provide a template of humiliating drunk women that would lead to the Tim&D YouTube channel that Haley Welsh popped off on, was at its peak of popularity. But celebrity boxing was a place where, as Tanya's character describes, notorious figures could take a last pass at monetizing their name by facing off against either another celebrity or a known boxer and more often than not, have their ass kicked. And because most of these figures had been somehow publicly disgraced already, deserved or not, because plenty of these are deserved.

Haley Welch (80:53)

Tonight you will witness an extraordinary boxing.

Jamie Loftus (80:55)

Match between two celebrities who until six.

Haley Welch (80:58)

Weeks ago had never set foot in a boxing ring. Let me introduce you to our first fighter tonight. In the red corner, comedian and star of the hit BBC2 series The Office, Mr. Ricky Gervais.

Jamie Loftus (81:11)

This is where Tonya Harding ends up in 2002. And in a twist that made me so mad and sad, Tanya is matched up against a woman named Paula Jones, who was also dragged through the mud in 1990s tabloid culture because Paula Jones credibly accused Bill Clinton of sexual harassment. In May of 91, Bill Clinton harassed me on the job and then basically told me, let's keep this between ourselves. I just pretended that it didn't happen. And what's worse, Paula Jones stepping into the ring was said to be because Amy Fisher, aka yet another 1990s woman who was publicly disgraced in spite of being a victim of sexual abuse, called the Long Island Lolita, was not able to attend. The winner by technical knockout, Tanya. Tnt.

Haley Welch (82:14)

Were you surprised that Paula, who's never.

Jamie Loftus (82:17)

Competed at any level like this and has never trained for sports at your level, was able to go into the third round? Oh, she did really well. I knew that both of us could.

Haley Welch (82:26)

Come in and get to know each.

Jamie Loftus (82:27)

Other a little bit.

Haley Welch (82:28)

And, you know, it wasn't a cat fight, it was out.

Jamie Loftus (82:30)

It was more like a boxing match.

Haley Welch (82:31)

But have fun all at the same time.

Jamie Loftus (82:33)

And, you know, I knocked her down a Few times.

Haley Welch (82:35)

That's all I'm at.

Jamie Loftus (82:36)

This is a clear pattern. When you look at the history of celebrity boxing, you're hard pressed to find a man competing who isn't either trying to recapture relevance, has been credibly accused or convicted of a sex crime or both. And with women, you're more likely to find someone who has just been publicly shamed in an extreme, extreme way. Whether you think they deserved it or not, men are trying to bounce back from something that they did. And most women are people that others will pay to see punched in the face. What's clear is that this is not what Tonya Harding wanted for her life. It was a choice that she made out of a need to survive. She wanted to not be publicly humiliated in the first place, just like Paula Jones or Amy Fisher didn't want. And like Hayley Welch, Tanya was from a working class family and didn't have anyone looking out for her financially or emotionally. And like Haley Welch, Tonya Harding did fuck up at different times. Unlike Hayley Welch, she was a generational athlete. But you can talk to me about that at a bar. I love talking about Tonya Harding. And while there are new venues for celebrity boxing today, I will remind you how successful The Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson Netflix match was last year. The gender dynamics kind of remain the same. The men are credibly accused of sex crimes and washed up. The women have been publicly humiliated and their faults are generally connected to survival. But all of it is out of some desperation. It sucks. It is very American. Haley is willing to sign up for this. Not because she has secretly wanted to box for her whole life, but because it is a way for her to make money and keep her name out there. And regardless of whether it works, whether it's humiliating or whether it matches up up with how she wants her life to go. And maybe it'll be fun. I hope it is. But from where I'm sitting, it's just the next grift. So, Hayley Welch, I'm gonna take a shot in the dark here. Your 16th minute ends now. And for your moment of fun, here is KSI describing Los Angeles as a state, not a city. And there are at least five people in the room and no one pushes back. Goodbye. You've been to the US a few times, right?

Haley Welch (85:19)

Way too many times.

Jamie Loftus (85:20)

Do you have a favorite state or anything?

Haley Welch (85:22)

Favorite state, Definitely.

Jamie Loftus (85:23)

Not la.

Haley Welch (85:24)

Definitely.

Jamie Loftus (85:25)

I do not agree with you on that. I agree.

Haley Welch (85:27)

I feel like LA has just gone downhill over the years. Man.

Jamie Loftus (85:34)

16Th Minute is a production of Cool Zone Media and iHeartRadio. It is written, hosted and produced by me, Jamie Loftus. Our Executive producers are Sophie Lichterman and Robert Evans. The Amazing Ian Johnson is our Supervising Producer and our editor. Our theme song is by Sad13. Voice acting is from Grant Crater and Pet shout outs to our dog producer Anderson, My cats Flea and Casper and my pet Rockford who will outlive us all. Bye. Did you know Women are more likely than men to develop dry eyes which may be due to hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle or after menopause and the use of oral contraceptives. Give your dry burning or irritated eyes a daily refresh with Refresh Optive Mega 3 Lubricant Eye Drops, a preservative free formula that provides fast acting, lasting relief. Refresh Opteeve Mega 3 is safe to use as often as needed. Find Refresh online or in the eyedrop aisle at all major retailers. The best moments happen when you're with your people, laughing, vibing and just enjoying life. Coke is making those moments even sweeter. Share a Coke is back and it's all about sharing with the whole crew. Doesn't matter if it's your bestie or bro, there's a can with their name on it. So grab one for the squad and make some memories. But hurry because these Coca Cola limited edition bottles and cans won't be here forever. Don't miss your chance to share a Coke with all your favorite people.

Haley Welch (87:08)

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