Addiction Recovery, Emotional Intelligence & Healing Tools to Break Old Patterns with Andrew Adams

Summary

Podcast Summary: Slay The Gatekeeper

Episode: Addiction Recovery, Emotional Intelligence & Healing Tools to Break Old Patterns with Andrew Adams

Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Andrew Adams
Date: November 11, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Slay The Gatekeeper features transformation coach and speaker Andrew Adams. The conversation dives deep into addiction recovery, understanding repeating life patterns, the power of emotional intelligence, and practical "cheat codes" for self-healing. Adams and host Courtney Johnson unpack the universal nature of attachment, tools for breaking old patterns, and the journey from pain toward conscious, prosperous living.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Addiction vs. Attachment: Defining the Struggle

• Addiction is broader than substance abuse: Andrew uses “addiction” as his personal reference, but reframes it as “attachment” that everyone experiences—be it to phones, caffeine, relationships, or destructive behaviors.
  • “I use the word addiction because that's my word. But we could switch it to attachment...it's all the frequency of addiction.” (A, 00:08)
  • Checking your phone obsessively? That’s attachment/addiction in action.
• Universal frequency: Whether a phone, drugs, or food, it’s “the same frequency” and often “laced with guilt and shame.” (A, 10:30)

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2. Cheat Code 1: The Pattern is Not the Problem

• Go deeper than surface behaviors: Habits and recurring issues ("the smoke") are symptoms of a deeper fire.
  • “The smoke isn’t the problem. The fire is. And we know that. But as far as patterns...which are, in fact, the smoke, we go crazy about.” (A, 04:08)
• The root is self-safety: Behavioral patterns boil down to an insecurity: "I am not safe with myself."
  • “When you really peel back the layer...why we do anything that’s harm...it's rooted in somewhere in your body, mind, that I am not safe with myself.” (A, 05:18)

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3. Cheat Code 2: Cravings Equal Clues

• Non-judgmental investigation: Look at your cravings with curiosity, not shame.
  • “You go to work on yourself. You investigate your cravings. They're just clues.” (A, 11:58)
• Becoming Sherlock Holmes: The guest urges listeners to be a "Sherlock Holmes" of their own patterns, seeking the motivating emotions behind actions.
  • “Awareness...once you can begin to name it, you can actually begin to see it and feel it. So there is no judgment. You can’t have judgment because that’s guilt and shame.” (A, 11:58)

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4. Cheat Code 3: Controlling Is an Illusion

• Control is the ego’s trap: Belief in total control is an illusion that creates exhaustion and suffering.
  • “Control is a trap of the ego. Because you’re like, universe, I've decided to go on this path...And then the ego creeps up and tricks you into believing...” (A, 14:27)
• Breathe and choose: Break the illusion by pausing, breathing, and remembering your power of choice.

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5. Cheat Code 4: Pain is the Portal

• Pain as a sacred teacher: Pain is unavoidable; suffering, however, is optional and stems from our interpretations and resistance.
  • “Pain is non negotiable. Suffering is, however, is completely a choice.” (A, 07:03, 25:07)
  • Quoting Angelina Jolie: “Without pain, there would be no suffering. Without suffering, we’d never learn from our mistakes.” (A, 25:03)
• Embrace instead of resist: Instead of “why me?” shift to, “What are you trying to show me?”
  • “That is a prayer that literally is something that I utilize on a daily basis. It's what's gotten me out of funks, gotten me out of lows.” (A, 19:58)

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6. Pausing Patterns: The Power of Awareness

• Waking up = becoming aware: You can't change what you don't see.
  • “You can’t change anything you’re not aware of…” (A, 11:19)
• First, identify your power leaks: Where are you giving your power away—to people, places, things, or habits?
  • “With my clients, we first identify where the leaks are. So, like, where are you giving your power away…” (A, 29:04)

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7. Emotional Intelligence Redefined

• True EI is inner, not outer: It's not just empathy or reading a room; EI is feeling your own emotions, pausing, and making effective choices.
  • “Emotional intelligence is like being in the fire...you can get angry or you can get happy. You have two choices. That's emo...emotional intelligence.” (A, 15:46)
• Practice, not perfection: Even now, after 8 years of sobriety, Andrew is “still uncovering deeper and deeper, deeper layers. Level doesn’t stop. That’s what screws us up. We think that it ends.” (A, 28:08)

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8. Love as The Healing Frequency

• Love is a frequency and a choice: Every thought and action is a pivot point—choose love or fear/vision or fear.
  • “Love is vision. Vision is love.” (A, 32:32)
  • “You have funneled that through your lens of pain. Right? Pain is sacred. It is purification. If you haven’t gone through pain yourself, all of this...wouldn’t have happened.” (A, 35:59)
• Alchemizing pain into service: Sharing your story and helping others is “healing frequency.”
  • “This is the frequency of love. When I have taken my pain, all of my pain...and I have decided to alchemize it in a way that I am giving of the world.” (A, 36:13)

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9. Power x Purpose = Prosperity

• The equation for a thriving life: “Power times purpose equals prosperity.” (A, 38:53)
• Prosperity is holistic: More than just money, it’s rooted abundance in all areas: relationships, health, purpose, and peace.
  • “Prosperity is is deeply rooted. Is deeply rooted abundance.” (A, 39:17)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The second that you do not believe that there is a choice, you have lost and given up your power.” (A, 00:08; reiterated throughout)
• “Everyone has a choice. You always have a choice to heal, no matter what.” (A, 06:35)
• “Cravings equals clues.” (A, 11:41)
• “Control is a trap of the ego.” (A, 14:27)
• “Pain is non negotiable. Suffering is, however, is completely a choice.” (A, 25:07)
• “Release, surrender, constant flow, like water.” (A, 22:44)
• “Love is vision. Vision is love.” (A, 32:32)
• On “Live, Laugh, Love”: “We look at the simplicity of Live, Laugh, Love, we're like, ha. That's stupid. But it's actually the answer.” (A, 37:47)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:08 – Addiction vs. attachment; awareness as the key to change
• 04:04 – Cheat Code #1: “The pattern is not the problem”
• 11:41 – Cheat Code #2: “Cravings equals clues”
• 14:27 – Cheat Code #3: “Controlling is an illusion”
• 19:30 – The sacred portal of pain; transformative prayer: “What are you trying to show me?”
• 25:07 – Pain is non-negotiable, suffering is optional
• 29:04 – Awareness tools: finding your power leaks
• 32:32 – Love and vision as ultimate choices; “Love is vision. Vision is love.”
• 38:53 – The Prosperity Equation: Power x Purpose = Prosperity

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Tone & Language

The episode is a blend of vulnerable storytelling, candid humor, and motivating insights. Courtney keeps it light and accessible, while Andrew balances spiritual wisdom (“woo woo”) with hard-earned, practical advice. Their conversation is authentic, often peppered with laughter and realness—making transformation approachable for anyone ready to recognize and change old patterns.

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Conclusion

Andrew Adams distills his journey from deep addiction and life on the streets to empowered healer, offering listeners a road map of “cheat codes” for navigating recurring patterns, building emotional intelligence, and choosing conscious love over fear. The conversation invites everyone—regardless of where they are—to investigate their attachments, reclaim their power, and step into a life of prosperity rooted in self-awareness and love.

Transcript

[A]

8 years ago version of me is looking at this and cringing.

[B]

You've accomplished what I think is probably one of the hardest things, which is overcoming addiction.

[A]

The second that you do not believe that there is a choice, you have lost and given up your power. I use the word addiction because that's my word. But we could switch it to attachment. It's automatic to grab the phone and like check your likes, check your comments, check. That's an attachment. So whether it's heroin, caffeine, your cell phone, porn, like, it's all the frequency of addiction. Once you can begin to name it, you can actually begin to see it. Pain and suffering is the key to all windows. Without it, there's no way of life. Pain is non negotiable. Suffering is, however, is completely a choice. I've been clean for eight years and I'm still uncovering deeper and deeper, deeper layers.

[B]

Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. I'm your host, Kristen Courtney Johnson and I am here to un. Gatekeep the gate kept. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy. Hey, Andrew. Hi.

[A]

This is so fun.

[B]

Thanks for coming to my bed.

[A]

Yeah, I'm excited to be here. This is chill.

[B]

I love your PJs. Do I have a chips in my teeth?

[A]

Nope, you're good.

[B]

Thank you. I was feeling them coming to my teeth.

[A]

You're good. People can't see them anyways. You can save it for later.

[B]

Save it. A little snack for later. Andrew. Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. Thank you. What's really cool about having you on this show is I feel like you're one of those people where I'm catching you, like right on your hockey stick and I'm about to be like, oh my guys. No, I had Andrew Adams on the pod. Like you're just, you're doing all the things like your spin speaking. You're doing this incredible transformation work. Like you're just a badass. And I'm really proud of you.

[A]

Thank you. Do you know what feels really amazing is that I feel the same way.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's why it's happening.

[A]

That's. That is where I'm at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To the moon.

[B]

To the moon. And you've just really like stepped into this new identity and era of a speaker.

[A]

Yep. Full in. What inspired me 10 out of 10 reliving the same patterns in my life.

[B]

We're gonna talk about that.

[A]

That is what inspired. Yeah. Even outside of that. That's what inspired me though. Realizing that I. I was catching myself in this loop and I Identified what the spark was to jump out of that loop. And it's funny because, like, I've known it all along, but it was, in fact, going 10 out of 10 on myself and not putting something else in front of me, like a product or another company.

[B]

Yeah. All right, we're gonna talk about some cheat codes today. You have some really juicy cheat codes because you've accomplished what I think is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish in the entire world ever, which is overcoming addiction.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for saying that.

[B]

That's massive. That takes like, wow. Like, completely destroying and reinventing yourself over and over and over again. And, like, getting bitch slapped into hell.

[A]

Again and again and again, over and over and over again, again and again and again. Yeah, Truthfully.

[B]

And what a blessing.

[A]

What a blessing. And I appreciate you saying that because there's. There's far too often that, you know, I forget where I came from and, like, I'll just talk to people and I'm like, oh, oh, Yeah. I spent 12 years living on the streets, living in cars, living all over the place.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What an amazing accomplishment. Where you are now. I have, like, a beautiful partner and family and community just, like, doing it.

[A]

I have so many things that I've asked for.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Power of intention King manifesting generator.

[B]

Oh, me too.

[A]

And an Aries. I am fire. Fire.

[B]

So spicy. Okay, let's get into your cheat codes. Cheat code number one. The pattern is not the problem. What do you. What does this mean?

[A]

Pattern is not the problem.

[B]

So, like, let's have a tangible example.

[A]

The smoke, right? We have. It's easiest example. You have a fire, you have smoke. Yeah, Right. If you were to see smoke in the air, you're like, oh, the smoke isn't the problem. The fire is. And we know that. But as far as patterns that we exhibit as humans, which are, in fact, the smoke, we go crazy about. We go absolutely crazy about. It's the same thing. In the medical field. We treat mo. Most doctors, not all doctors, not your Lucas, not. Not your Lucas. Treat symptoms rather than going underneath. I am a full get under the roots type of person. And when you realize that the smoke is just the facade, it's just a pattern, then you're like, oh, okay, I just get to go a little bit deeper.

[B]

So our listeners listening to this, maybe they're seeing a pattern. Let's say they keep going back to the same relationship over and over and over again. Or they, like, can't stop. Stop vaping or something. Like you're saying that the going back to the same relationship or the like, can't stop vaping, or I'm addicted to energy drinks or drugs, whatever it might be. Like, that's not actually the thing.

[A]

Correct? There is, There is something underneath. And it's always a story of, I am not safe with myself. Now, there's an array of different flavors, right? Your flavor is very different than mine. But when you really peel back the layer, why we do anything that's harm, right? That's causing harm to our bodies. Vaping, alcohol, any behavior. If you're like, I get into relationships with shitty men, but yet I still continue to do it, you're. Now that you're aware of it, you are actively choosing into that behavior, right? It becomes a choice that you are, you. You are aware of, and, but once you see that it's rooted in somewhere in your body, mind, that I am not safe with myself, that's what you go to work on. That's. That is the core of our being. That is the deepest that you can go. And I've dug deep, but, yeah, but my rock bottom. Real, real, real deep. Real deep, Courtney.

[B]

But people might be saying, andrew, but my situation is different. I can't choose out of it because I have kids with this person, because I, you know, this substance just easy for me to get. And like, I, I can't choose out of it. Like, what would you tell them?

[A]

You always have a choice. Always. I don't. I, I don't care what it is. There is. There's always a choice. The second that you do not believe that there is a choice, you have lost and given up your power. Right? Because sometimes the choice could be just the way that you're thinking about it, right? Just the way that you're thinking about the sit that gets to shift, not the actual situation. Right? Does that make sense?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So always have a choice. Always, always, always. You always have a choice to heal, no matter what. And that's why, I mean, I'm blessed for the 12 years that I spend active addiction because I have walked side by side with people that have seen it all, myself included. You know, it's like, not. I'm not going to trauma dump, but like A through Z, I've, I've been there, it's happened. I've dealt with it. I've, I've healed it, you know, rape, molestation, all of it. All of it. Always a choice.

[B]

Was your turning point, like, one point, or was it a series of events that kept happening and compounding?

[A]

My name is Andrew Adams. And I'm very stubborn. You're so. And it was. It was. It was many events as far as getting clean. Many, many, many events spread over 12 years. I mean, the last major event was a car accident, one of many car accidents. But that was the. My last turning point. Like, something needed to change.

[B]

What was the first step you took?

[A]

Got clean. Detox, you know, treatment facilities. Follow. You know, follow what they say. Do. Do everything by the book because, like, you just. You. You deserve that, and then expand from there.

[B]

So I think a lot of people think, like, oh, well, I don't have an addiction. I'm not, like, injecting heroin. So I'm not an addict. I'm not addicted to anything. Where they are going through these repeating patterns and patterns and patterns, and there is stuff under it that they're unwilling to see. Like, what advice would you. Would you give to those people? Because people are listening to this, being like, I'm gonna skip this episode or, I'm not gonna listen to this because, like, I'm not. I'm not addicted to anything.

[A]

I'll say this. I use the word addiction because that. That's my word. But we can. We can switch it to attachment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a frequency that's alive in every single. Every single one's body. It's like, you know, reaching for the cell phone.

[B]

Yeah. That's an addiction.

[A]

Here's an example for everybody in today's world. You know, like, it's automatic. I catch myself. It's automatic to grab the phone and, like, check your likes, check your comments. Check. That's an attachment. Because what's the first thing that happens when someone's phone goes out the window or falls to the bottom of the ocean? People get pissed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People get really upset that they've lost a phone. And it's that right there. It's that synapse, that emotional connection to a piece of metal. Right. What you're really connected to, that deep craving of, like, this. You're. You think a phone gives you worth, and, like, it doesn't. It's just a piece of metal. It's just the worth that we give it. But that's. That is an attachment. That is addiction. So look at your screen. Your phone tells you how many times, how. How your screen time and how many times you've picked up your phone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just to look at it.

[B]

Do you know about Opal?

[A]

No.

[B]

Opal, like, blocks apps on your phone after a certain amount of time, but there's no undoing it, you know, on the Screen time. You can be like, ignore, ignore. Opal is like, you're out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Really interesting.

[A]

Do you have it?

[B]

Yeah, I've been using it to my phone. Yeah, it works. I mean, it totally kicks you out. And then I'm like, oh, I guess.

[A]

I gotta do something amazing. Yeah. Or you just sit. Or you can just choose to sit with the feelings that are coming up that are driving that behavior. So this is because Opal. Yeah, here's. Here's a. Opal is addressing the smoke.

[B]

But not what's underneath.

[A]

You're correct. So it's like, again, it's an apple. It's beautiful. Love it. Amazing storyline. Perfect. But it's addressing your smoke, right? Because there's something that is driving that behavior of. Let me check, let me check. It could be like, fomo. Fear I'm going to miss out on something. Right? So many things. Your flavor. Everyone's flavor is going to be different. So whether it's heroin, caffeine, your cell phone, porn, like, it's all the frequency of addiction. Add attachment, which is laced with guilt and shame.

[B]

Okay, so someone's listening to this. Like, yeah, I do struggle with this or that. I struggle with my phone. I struggle with food, whatever. And, Andrew, you're telling me not just look at the smoke, look at the fire. But. But how do I look at the fire? How do I go into that?

[A]

Like, what.

[B]

How do I even start?

[A]

You. You first get to be aware of it, right? You get to be. You can't change anything you're not aware of, right? You. You can't. And you gotta look. You gotta begin looking for the cravings, because those are the clues. Those are the breadcrumbs, right? Craving to pick up the phone.

[B]

Wait, this brings us to our cheat code number two. Cravings equals clues. Cravings equals clues.

[A]

Okay. Cravings equals clues. So.

[B]

So you're. What I find interesting about this is you're looking at this from a very neutral investigative standpoint. You're not shaming yourself, being like, oh, my God, my piece of shit. I keep picking up my phone. It's just like a curiosity. Your Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. I found another clue.

[A]

Yep. Because again, awareness, it's. Once you. Once you can begin to name it, you can actually begin to see it and feel it. So there is no judgment. You can't have judgment because that's guilt and shame. If you go into this with judgment, guilt and shame, again, it's just a continuance of the same circle. So if that is the behavior that you're typically Up. Something's wrong with me. I gotta fix me. It's time to break that pattern. First, like you said, I'm Sherlock Holmes. I'm going to be the best investigator that there ever was. And. And you go to work on yourself. You investigate your cravings. They're just clues. Then once you become aware of that level, the next level is you with you. Boo.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Is you with you. Because under that clue is. Is there's shame, guilt. It's stories of not being good enough, failing, succeeding. All that fear. You with you.

[B]

Feeling the feelings.

[A]

Feeling the feelings.

[B]

Sitting in silence, doing nothing.

[A]

Sitting in silence. Well, sometimes. Sometimes breakthroughs and transmutations in your. Of energy, in your body happen. And all of it.

[B]

Yeah. So you've identified the smoke. You're like, uh, I'm picking up my phone. My screen time is eight hours a day. I get to change something. So you go down, you and you. And you see that as a clue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As a neutral clue. I'm picking up my phone multiple times a day. Like, you're not saying this as I'm a piece of shit. You're saying, this is really interesting. I'm curious about why this is happening.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Um, and then you go, you with you. What does that mean?

[A]

Well, once once you. I've identified the clues and you're beginning to peel that layer back, you're. You're left with the question of what emotion is driving this behavior? Right. And that's where we then get into emotional intelligence. What emotion in you is driving you to pick up your phone? What do you think it is? What do you think your. What do you think your emotion is? Hot seat coaching. Right here, right now.

[B]

My emotion to pick up my phone is like a validation that, like a. It's like safety. It's like, oh, I'm still getting sales and I'm still getting likes, and my business is growing so I can make money and be safe.

[A]

Yeah. Would you say that there is a hint of control?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what you just said.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Yeah. Cheat code number three. Controlling is an illusion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Because it's a trap. It's a trap of the ego. Control is a trap of the ego. Because you're like, universe, I've decided to go on this path. I'm not going to be. Have any judgment or shame. I'm going to figure out why I do the things that I do. And then the ego creeps up and then tricks you into believing. Well, you need to be aware of all of that information because that's how you make Money and it be you. You know, you begin to thread these stories together to make an effort to. To mask what's actually happening. Oh, I'm not addicted to my worth. I'm addicted to making sure my business is running. It's a false sense of control. It's like we're gripping, gripping, grip and grip and gripping, and it's just slipping.

[B]

Right through our fingertips. So what do you do about it?

[A]

Breathe.

[B]

Yeah, I actually. I want to go back to what you said around emotional intelligence, because I think a lot of people have the wrong definition. Like, I've done some content around, like, one of the most important differentiators and people that succeed in life and get what they want from people that don't is emotional intelligence. And people will be in the comments like, well, I'm emotionally intelligent because I go to a party and I know what people are feeling, and I. I know how to vibe with them. Or I'm emotionally intelligent because I know when my partner is upset, even when they're telling me they're not, and I'm like, that's not really.

[A]

No, that's. I mean, that's empathy. Yeah, Empathy, sympathy. I mean, having a, you know, a deep human. I mean, that's a, you know, clairvoyance, not emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is like being in the fire, seeing, I don't know, three different avenues. Or let's just go with two. Seeing two different avenues that you can go. One that's effective to where you want to go, and one's not really effective. You're that choice. That's emotional intelligence. Meaning, like, someone cuts me off, you can get angry or you can get happy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have two choices. That's emo. That, to simplify. That is emotional intelligence. To me. Being able to stop at that moment, being able to stop at that fork in the road, and it's literally. Take a breath in a breath. Time. This. We're not here for hours thinking about this decision and deciding, this is why.

[B]

I think monks are a scam.

[A]

Why what? Why?

[B]

Why monks are a scam. No, literally. Okay.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, hear me out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If I put you in a beautiful Tibetan monastery and I fed you every day, and you got to meditate and do yoga all day and, like, make mandalas, and every single piece of your life is, like, perfectly scheduled versus a mom with, like, four kids and, like, the dog is on the floor, and then, like, something goes wrong, and, like, the washing machine doesn't work, and there's, like, a poopy diaper, and, like, people are screaming. I feel like it takes a lot more emotional intelligence to make a positive choice in a chaotic situation rather than being like on a peaceful mountain with sound healing bowls all the time. I might be wrong, maybe I'm just jaded against monks, but I, I, I.

[A]

It all boils down to something that we've already talked about. There's always a choice. There's always a choice. I don't know about you, but mine, my mind is non stop. I feel like we can agree with me that your mind is always going right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So who's to say that being in a beautiful monastery and being fed and living a life of abundance but scarcity having very little wouldn't feel chaotic in.

[B]

Your mind could, I mean that's a lot of time with yourself.

[A]

It's just, it's another, it's another path. Yeah, it's simply another path. There's, there's simply going to be different quote unquote, demons down that road. Right. And it's one's not right, one's not wrong. We're all destined and we've all, you know, there's reasons that we're all here. Chaos is an illusion. Chaos is an illusion. Chaos is a perception. Because one person could say, single mother, four kids, works two jobs. Oh my God, that is absolute chaos. And if that mother believed that, then I'm sure she's living in chaos. But like, what if that mother chose into the perception and the belief this is just a stepping stone and that's it. And her life was beautifully abundant. Isn't it so crazy that it's just, it's perception. Yeah. Right. Two people, we could, you know, it's, I give this another lady. Like you have a party, you have, you just put like a weird centerpiece item on the, in the, in the table. Like 10 different people are gonna have 10 different perceptions about that item. Right. In my mind, it's like if something of value back when I was an addict and like, how am I going to steal that? Right. Versus the other end of the spectrum is like, wow, that's really beautiful. I wonder where they got it. I wonder how much it costs. Right? Two different perceptions. Always. It's always a choice. Wow.

[B]

Sometimes does it feel like a choice?

[A]

Um, sure. It doesn't always. And in that moment, a question that I have learned to ask is like, God, universe, source, whatever you believe in is like, what are you trying to show me here? Because I don't want to miss it. My new mindset is what are you trying to show me Here because I don't want to miss it because I, I, I truly don't wanna repeat this pattern.

[B]

Okay. That's such a cheat code. So this is your, your prayer. Like, what are you trying to show me? I don't wanna repeat this pattern.

[A]

Like that is a prayer that literally is something that I utilize on a daily basis. It's what's gotten me out of funks, gotten me out of lows. Because pain is non negotiable in life, right? Like we're like life, we're going to ride the waves and nothing is permanent, right. We know that by seeing death, witnessing death. And the highs and lows of life are not permanent. So it's like if you're in a low, you got to learn to enjoy it because you're, it's there for a reason. And I, for so long, 12 years, right. I avoided that. I avoided listening to what, what was actually happening. There's 12 years of heroin addiction.

[B]

Get kinky for your lows.

[A]

Get kinky for, you know, that, that you could, you, we could brand that. Get, get kinky for your lows.

[B]

Kinky for the lows.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think of it like an expansion and a contraction. And the contraction 100 be really beautiful. Like, my clients are trying to make more money. Whatever they're, they're calling in more money and there's expansion periods of like, oh, I got a new client, this is great. And there's contraction periods of, oh my God, I just lost my job, everything is horrible and I lost this client. Like, what am I going to do? You can see that as like, oh fuck, this is horrible. Or oh my God, what a beautiful opportunity to trim the fat and to reflect and to, you know, purge anything that doesn't serve me, et cetera. So like two ways to look at the same thing. But you'll start to notice like the expansion and contraction patterns. And once you really see that expansion comes next, it makes the contraction and the, the lows so much less scary.

[A]

Yeah. 100%. Nothing is permanent.

[B]

Yeah. I think the fear is like, oh.

[A]

This, this feeling, this is gonna last forever. This feeling is going to last forever. And like, I love what you just shared. Cause it's like when we, when we do begin to release, I mean that's letting go of attachments. Like surrender. We make space for upgrades.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like I was, I shared in a video yesterday to our upcoming Team Slack. It's when I purge my house or my desk, my physical items. It, it's clearing out space. And the example that came you know, that I received is just like your phone. When your storage is full, Google will either try to sell you more storage or you have the option to. To clear out messages. You know, it's the same thing with your bodies. When we have an upgrade, an expansion, and then things fall. Like losing the job. That job was meant to fall, but we cling to it and we're being pulled in two different directions and we create suffering. Like Buddha said, all suffering is connected to attachment. Attachment is the root of all suffering. Release, surrender. Constant flow, like water.

[B]

That's hard. Our audience is like, Andrew, I get it. Constant flow, constant surrender. That's awesome. And that's really hard because my girlfriend broke up with me and I'm sad, or I lost my job, or I really wanted this opportunity to come and I went to somebody else like, what the fuck, Andrew?

[A]

Yeah. Onto. I'm like, just. No, can't help it. Onto cheat code number four.

[B]

Cheat code number four.

[A]

Pain is. Is the portal. Pain is. Is sacred. Throwing the. Why me? Why me? Why this? Right, that. Sorry to break it to you viewers, but that is victim and victim mentality. And that is. It's never effective. It's never effective. We know this. It's never effective. And just even saying, why me? Why me? My why me? Is negating the pain and the experience that you're currently having. Because you want something else, right? So it's. It's never being okay with where you're at. It's the human desire, right? Where it's like, I want something else. Well, I feel shitty right now. I want to feel good. So what? Just stop. Sit. Breathe. Right? Power of breath. You don't have to do breath work classes to just breathe. Sit. Pain. Sacred. Sometimes it just. It's time you got to sit with it. And again, the same question. What are you trying to show? I mean, it's different prayer universe. What are you allowing me to see here, right? And ask? Like, I would love for this to move with urgency. Let's speed this up and be willing to take a look. It's always going to be on ourselves. It's always. It's always going to involve ourselves. Like, I shared at the beginning of this, like me, it was just stepping fully into my power. Was the break to the next loop.

[B]

I think also going back to, like, all the existential kink stuff. It's like being excited about the pain and being. Yeah, all right, maybe not excited, but like, it's just like. Think of yourself in a movie. It's like a beautiful scene you know? Yeah.

[A]

It's just, it's a, it is a loving awareness. It is a loving kindness. There's a quote by I love Angelina Jolie that I have tattooed on me. It's a quote. Without pain, there would be no suffering. Without suffering, we'd never learn from our mistakes.

[B]

Wait. Without pain, there'd be no suffering. Without suffering, we would never learn from our mistakes.

[A]

Yep. To make it right. Pain and suffering is the key to all windows. Without it, there's no way of life. So basically, I mean, pain, like I said, is, is not. It's non negotiable. Suffering is, however, is completely a choice. So it's that that allows us to see different, you know, doorways, windows, portals into ourselves. So like pain and suffering, like it's, it's part of life.

[B]

So you're separating these as two different things. There's pain and then there's suffering and we don't have to suffer. Suffering is optional. Pain is going to be there.

[A]

100% is optional. Right. It's like saying I'm getting divorced. Right. Feeling the pain. Right. Because of our relationship ending and breaking up with so and so feeling the pain, allowing yourself to grieve because the relationship is, is, you know, whatever you've decided about it. But the suffering is after the fact. Like I'm going to either choose this and allow this to ruin my life or two, I'm going to allow this to make me a stronger human being. And that's being the very. As basic as I possibly can. Still always presented with two choices. Effective or non effective. I'm not saying don't be sad, don't unravel. You get, you get to. I was just saying you get to. Pain is the answer. And you'll then walk the line between grace versus excuse. And that's a different line for every single different human being on this planet. Your line looks very different than mine. You get to, you get to learn that grace versus excuse. Am I giving myself grace or am I making an excuse?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's like a, with the pain, it's like a good workout. Like you can go to a workout class with your friends, have so much fun, be feeling pain the entire time and still be like, that was such a great hour of my life. Because you were pushing and stretching and growing.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like pain is purification. And with working out, we're like, oh, that was great. But then like emotionally or spiritually, we were like, ah, get me out of this. Yeah, but it, pain is so sacred. Is Pain is. Is such a rite of passage as a, you know, a spiritual being having a human experience such a passage. It's where we're, you know, cut into our beautiful diamonds. It's where we get to experience so many conditionings, behaviors, beliefs that we've picked up since childhood.

[B]

That's so incredibly powerful.

[A]

And when you try to avoid it, life gets really rough. You avoid the pain is so interesting.

[B]

About the workout example, it's like, we could be at a workout class. Beyonce could be playing. It could be fun, and they're having us do a hundred burpees, and we're having a great time, and we're, like, dancing around. Or you could be, like, punished, somebody forcing you to do a hundred burpees as some, like, physical labor punishment. And that could be totally awful. But it's like the exact same motion, the exact same thing. Just different interpretation.

[A]

Yeah, same thing. Choice, two choices. That's emotional. Like we said, emotional intelligence. Seeing the two choices in a second. Right. This is a practice. This is. People start this journey. I started this journey, and I was like, I'm gonna be fine in a month. I've been clean for eight years, and I'm still uncovering deeper and deeper, deeper layers. Level doesn't stop. That's what screws us up. We think that it ends.

[B]

That's amazing. That's really, really inspiring.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

What I find to be really interesting about all this, addiction and healing and everything is the biggest problem is probably just in, like, the how it's unconscious. Like, there's. There's even. Even me or you or people listening to this. Like, these addictions, these attachments are unconscious. How do you take steps to bring them to consciousness? Because this is also, like a forever process.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's what people. I mean, that's like the true meaning of waking up. Right. Not woke. Very. Two different things. Waking up is gaining awareness. You can't, like, set a timeline for someone because it's whenever that. That first moment is for you. And there's. There's. There's many of them, but it's like at some point, you have that aha moment, and it's like the lights came on, and you have this awareness of how many times you pick up your cell phone. So, I mean, it's. It's. It's simple. Stop and take a look around. Identify. You know, we. With my clients, we first identify where the leaks are. So, like, where are you giving your power away to people. Places and things. To cell phones, to people. People pleasing to Things I'm attached to my car. We, you know, that's the first step is identifying where you're leaking power. And that's where we begin. That's the easiest way to turn your awareness switch on.

[B]

That's so powerful. How, how I like to bring awareness in my clients is starting with their, their dream and like anything in between them and their dream is. Is what they get to come into awareness of. I actually screenshot of this quote today from, Let me see, from Paulo Kohelo that said, no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams. Because every second with the search is a second encounter with God and with eternity.

[A]

Bars. Vision bars. It's vision, it's purpose. Right. It's living in urgency. It's living with purpose. There's actually. Where's my phone? Because I want to read something that I. Because that just triggered something in my head. Hold on one second. But to that, when you have purpose and vision and soul driven urgency alive in your body and you get that from, you know, getting your power back, releasing and surrendering to these addictions, attachments, what came to my like, urgency grounded. Urgency is grounded in vision. Rushing is grounded in scarcity. Right. Love coming from the heart is abundance. It's vision. It's not scarcity. So yeah, yeah. Chico number 500% agree. Oh yeah. Chico number five.

[B]

Love is frequency.

[A]

Wow, you're really good at this.

[B]

You're really good at this.

[A]

Love. Love. It's. We have a whole podcast on love. The frequency of love. Everything that I speak into, I is. It's a frequency to me, like addiction. Shame. They have a set frequency just like our cell phones do. Everything can has is always in my energy is always in motion. And if anything, everything is energy, then everything's always moving. So you would. You'd have to believe that everything is giving off some form of energy or frequency. Some effective, some not, some low, some high. Love. Mm. It is just. It is the frequency. It is the highway. It's like switching lanes on a highway. It is the highway that you want to be on in one way, shape or form. Everyone is seeking to be on whether they want to say it's love or not. Mm.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're looking to be a better person. You're looking to be this, you're looking to be that. The frequency of love is your number one ingredient gets to be.

[B]

Yeah. Because we only ever have two choices. Right. Love or fear.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a lane. That's a. An emotional intelligence lane. Do I want to come from love? Do I want to come from fear? And it's all the voices in your head every single day that, that talk to us. I'm not good enough. I'm unworthy. Okay, Vision or fear? I like, I like, usually use like vision or fear, but love or fear? Love is vision. Vision is love.

[B]

Like, Andrew, we're getting. We're getting spicy. You think that, like, everybody can tap into this, can access this? Because what if people are listening? Like, what does that even mean, Andrew? Like, how do I be in love? Like, come on.

[A]

100%. And know that. Know that eight years ago version of me is looking at this and cringing and really? Yes, totally. A hundred percent. Because when I first got into the personal development world, I heard a lot of what I call woo woo, you know, law of attraction and manifest. And you just gotta sit and pray and it'll just fall on your lap.

[B]

When.

[A]

Or that was my, that was my perception of it. So when I came into this, I had a. I had a coach that introduced me to David Hawkins who's like 50% woo woo and 50% science.

[B]

The perfect combination.

[A]

The perfect combination. And know that like, I had those judgments and now I stand here on the other side of it. And yes, everyone, everyone has. Everyone has a choice. You can choose it, right? You can choose to be miserable while you're watching this podcast, or you can just have fun or listen and, and soak it all up. Watch it three times. If you typically only watch Courtney's podcast one time, watch this episode twice. Repeat days and days, because it's it. This is warm numbers. Everything that we're talking about. This is the cool thing. And where frequency comes in is healing frequency. You sharing your story, me sharing my story, me sharing my five cheat codes or takeaways or whatever you want to call it, is in fact healing frequency. I know that this is me standing in my full power and knowing that this is what I've alchemized. Me sharing this with you. The world is a healing frequency. So yes, watch it twice, three times. You'll get something new every single time. But no, this is. This is the frequency of love. When I have taken my pain, all of my pain, all of. All of it, 36 years of it, and I have decided to alchemize it in a way that I am giving of the world. In love, I say this, but, like, I could leave the physical world tomorrow and I have fulfilled my duty as a spiritual being on this planet. Do I want to die in tomorrow? No. I have so many Things that I want to cause and create and see manifest and I'm not attached. If for some reason tomorrow's my time, it's my time. Yeah, but that's love. This, the healing frequency is love. So like you, you getting on here every single time you do that, everything that you do is in. Is in a service, right? You've alchemized everything that you've gone through, everything that you've experienced, all of your wisdom, your knowledge, your know how, your expertise, everything. You have funneled that through your lens of pain. Right? Pain is sacred. It is purification. If you haven't gone through, if you, if you haven't gone through pain yourself, all of this that you have created wouldn't have happened. This is all part of your purification process. You give out love. You are giving out the frequency of love and healing.

[B]

That's so powerful.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yes. Tap into the highway.

[B]

Wow. Wow. Yeah. It's so interesting because I like, if I would have listened to this like four years ago, it would have been like these like, woo woo and their dumb platitudes, Live, laugh Love. But then you're like, whoa. Like that's crazy. Like, it's like when, when you experience that, you're like, what the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep. You wake up, you have the awakening. That's. That. Is this an. That's. That's an awakening moment. An aha moment. Going in someone's bathroom, reading Live Laugh Love and having a completely new perception. No, I know, we can, we can laugh, we can laugh, we can laugh about it. But how many times we walk in and we see that and we're like, oh, God, what the. What the what? Another one of these. Oh, they have, they have six of them in their entire house. And then one day sometimes maybe you know, under the influence, you had drinks or stone, whatever your choice is, and you read it and you have that aha moment. Or stone cold silver whatever it is, and you're like, oh, live, laugh and love. Oh my God, they have it right? And like, we just take it for granted. It's the simplicity. We. Because of the world that we live in, everything's overcomplicated. Everything wants to be overcomplicated because we want to title. We want to justify everything. When we look at the simplicity of Live Laugh Love, we're like, ha. That's stupid. But it's actually the answer.

[B]

It's so right. They were so right the whole time. Like, whoever bitches, they. They've been right this whole time.

[A]

They have 100%, 100%.

[B]

That's crazy. Yeah. And follow your dream. I'm like, oh, yeah. I used to be like, follow your dream. And I'm like, oh, my God.

[A]

Follow your dream, whatever it is, 100%. Because it's passion, it's vision, because that's what creates urgency. Right. You have a massive vision and, like, no power behind it because you're just beating yourself up. You've got nothing. Or the other way around. You have so much power. This is my story. So much power, but with a very unclear vision or purpose. Your fireworks that are. Have exploded in someone's face, and there's no level of prosperity. That's. That's the life equation that I would say all of the information that comes out of my mouth was. Is all downloads. Right? All of this is out there somewhere. But the equation that I work with, with my speaking, with my coaching, all is the same, is power times purpose equals prosperity.

[B]

What does prosperity mean to you?

[A]

So many things. You know, abundance, prosperity, abundance, relationships, money, everything. It's not just financial wellness. It's. It is. Is a prosperous man or woman in every arena. Health, wealth, career, relationships, you know, every. Every. Every box. And you can't do that with. Without power or purpose.

[B]

Yeah, I like that word. It's like a prosperity. Yeah, it's. It's. It's really powerful. It has, like, a slightly different connotation than abundance. It feels like a. A garden that's all in.

[A]

Yeah, it's deeper. It's prosperity is. Is deeply rooted. Is deeply rooted abundance.

[B]

It's like a garden that will bloom.

[A]

And bloom and bloom forever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you build systems.

[B]

Built what? What do you mean by that?

[A]

You've built systems, power, purpose. I mean, you build systems within your business. Yeah, it's the same exact thing so that you don't have to be there.

[B]

Internal.

[A]

Yeah, internal systems to. To. Right. We've talked about it this entire podcast. Keep our. Keep our power in check with. By addiction, attachment. That's everything we talked about is really just. We've just touched on the power part of the. That equation that I use because it's attachments, addictions. You're giving away your power, and you can have a beautiful purpose to save the world and to save kids and children. But again, if you have no power, if you have no fuel source to drive that, you. You got zero prosperity.

[B]

This is really helpful because we talk a lot on the pod about dreams and vision, and I think this is such a good roadmap to actually start to create or continue to create that vision. Amplify it into prosperity.

[A]

Yep. Spark it on, expand it. All of it. It's a jolt. It's a. This equation is. Is a. A jolt of life, if that's what you choose.

[B]

Well, Andrew, you're such an amazing coach and speaker and just an amazing man. People are listening to this, like, yo, I want to work with him. That was really rad. My. I'm like, brain right now. How can they find you?

[A]

You can find me on Instagram. Should I say my handle or my. My handle is. Is Andrew Adams. And the. The E is the number three.

[B]

Okay. Andrew Adams.

[A]

Andrew Adams. The three. The E is a three and three.

[B]

Drew Adams.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Um, you can find me there. I work with people one on one. Coaching primarily. Um, also starting to create events where we release this power through yoga. Breath work sound. Oh, it's going to be. It's something that came a download that happened this past weekend, and I set my intention to create the event. I created the event. I'm already selling tickets November 1st here in Austin, and it's going to be beautiful. It's going to weave. It's going to. It's going to weave yoga breathwork sound. From start to finish, it's weave together. So it's like we're have a little, like, dharma talk in the beginning, and then we have a little community exercise. They go into breath work, then yoga, then breath work, then yoga, then breath work. So it's all weaved together to release attachments, surrender, and then reclaim power. Reclamation.

[B]

So powerful. Well, thank you for coming on the pod, Andrew.

[A]

Yeah, thank you for having me. This is a blast.

[B]

It was a blessing. Yay.