How to Reprogram Your Mind for Success & Stop Self-Sabotage with Chris Lee

Summary

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Slay The Gatekeeper – Ep. “How to Reprogram Your Mind for Success & Stop Self-Sabotage with Chris Lee”

Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Chris Lee
Date: November 7, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the actionable cheat codes for achieving success through mindset transformation and overcoming self-sabotage. Courtney and renowned transformational coach Chris Lee discuss not just how to acquire information, but how to rewire beliefs, build self-worth, harness feedback, create healthy environments, and turn vision into reality. The tone is candid, motivational, and empowering, with a balance of heartfelt stories and strategic advice—perfect for anyone seeking to manifest goals, leave behind limiting beliefs, or create a high-performing, growth-minded tribe.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Transformation vs. Traditional Coaching

[04:04] Chris Lee:

• Most coaches focus on actions and results, but Chris specializes in transforming beliefs at the unconscious level—the “source” rather than the “symptoms.”
• By uncovering and redesigning core beliefs, “reality shifts” and new choices/actions/results become possible.
• Transformation involves becoming truly aware of—and breaking—the autopilot of limiting beliefs.

Notable quote:

“I support you in uncovering the beliefs that stop you in your relationships with money, with health… I go from ‘I’m not worthy’ to ‘I am extraordinary’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ to ‘I am enough,’ and literally reality shifts.” – Chris Lee [06:36]

Three pillars of transformation:

1. Transform your relationship with yourself: “We are our biggest challenges.”
2. Transform relationships with others—“It looks like they changed, but you’re the one who transformed.”
3. Manifestation: “You activate manifestation with freedom and passion, and you manifest things that blow you away.”

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2. The Information-Action Gap

[10:07] Courtney Johnson:

• Acknowledges that anyone can access all the information needed to start a business or build a brand via AI, Google, etc.—yet, most people still don’t act.
• The gap isn’t information; it’s mindset and emotional intelligence.

[11:40] Chris Lee:

• “Information does not cause transformation. Our hard drive, which is our belief system, has spent…years creating a disciplined neural pathway...”

• Positive thinking is insufficient; healing trauma and “shadow work” is often required.

Notable quote:

“Positive thinking is not enough. You’ve got to heal where those negative neural pathways were built, and that comes from trauma. And you can’t heal trauma on ChatGPT.” – Chris Lee [14:47]

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3. The Power & Necessity of Investing in Self-Development

[17:26] Courtney Johnson & Chris Lee:

• Chris spends $100,000/year on personal development—a cheat code: making personal growth a line-item, not a luxury.
• Top performers (e.g., Mel Robbins, Lewis Howes) invest heavily in themselves and in their teams’ personal growth.

Cheat Codes:

• Self-development budget is essential for leveling up.
• Ditch the Drainers for Dreamers: Your environment—team, friends—should challenge and inspire you.
• Leaders such as Lewis Howes spread the mindset throughout their entire orbit.

Notable quote:

“It’s not a luxury, people, it’s a necessity…Because what good is it to invest $10 million into a business when the people…are miserable or not in a growth mindset?” – Chris Lee [18:25]

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4. Choosing and Cultivating Your Tribe

[21:40] Chris Lee:

• If you feel “weird” for growing or being ambitious, “you’re just in the wrong tribe.”
• Growth Mindset and Comfort Zone cannot coexist long-term—choose what/who reflects your vision and values.

Set boundaries: The clearer you become about your vision/boundaries, the faster energy-drainers naturally exit your life.

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5. Feedback Is a Cheat Code

[25:56] Courtney Johnson & Chris Lee:

• Most people avoid or ignore feedback due to ego or discomfort.
• Feedback (from life, numbers, people) is constant—“the universe is always giving you feedback.”
• Separate feedback (“what’s working” and “what’s not”) from personal worth; repeated feedback reveals patterns to address.

Memorable Quote:

“One person calls you an ass, thank them for sharing. If 12 people call you an ass, buy a saddle.” – Chris Lee [29:40]

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6. Radical Responsibility vs. Victim Mindset

[32:25] Courtney Johnson, [32:52] Chris Lee:

• The biggest hack: Take complete responsibility for your outcomes—no one is coming to save you.

Empowering belief:

“You have infinite power within yourself. The minute you believe it, you see it.” – Chris Lee [34:05]

• Stories of luck, bad genes, unsupportive partners, etc., are common but ultimately limiting.

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7. Building Belief & Self-Worth

[36:16] Chris Lee:

• Genuine belief in possibility—the antidote to “imposter syndrome.”
• At the root: “I’m not good enough” beliefs traced to specific, often childhood-originated, traumas.

[41:04] Courtney Johnson:

• Our words matter: Change “I have to” → “I choose to”; “my ex” → “the ex” to shift energy and ownership.

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8. The Power of Language & Self-Talk

[43:55] Chris Lee:

• Up to 90% of self-talk is negative — practice positive self-talk intentionally (“think it, become it, feel it, attract it”).
• Referencing Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response, there’s a space…in that space, I have a choice.”

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9. Overcoming Fear of Visibility & Perfectionism

[48:49] Chris Lee:

• Creatives fear judgement and want perfection, but authenticity is what wins—seek to be “interested,” not “interesting.”
• Focus on the gift you’re giving, not how you’ll be perceived. Let feedback, not your inner critic, guide content.

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10. Positivity & Choice Are Habits

[52:51] Courtney Johnson, [52:51] Chris Lee:

• Chris acknowledges he’s not always positive but uses gratitude and vision as daily starting points.
• “Be bigger than how you feel”—discipline feelings through intention (three daily words to embody).

Memorable morning hack:

“The first thing I do when I wake up is express gratitude…The second thing I do is declare my vision and pick three words.” – Chris Lee [53:15]

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11. Holding Others to Greatness & Accountability

[57:05] Chris Lee:

• Coaches/mentors must choose between being liked or being of service. Hold clients to high standards, not their excuses.
• Accountability isn’t about harshness, but not allowing people’s stories/circumstances to shrink their commitments or potential.

Notable Story:

• Turned down/fired a famous pop star client for lack of accountability, leading to the client’s major breakthrough (and reinforcing that tough love yields long-term results).

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12. Living Your Dream Today

[62:14] Chris Lee:

• When asked about his dream: “I am living my dream … to level the world up by waking up the gift in every human being.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Self worth manifests net worth.” – Chris Lee [00:51, 36:16]
• “If you don’t ask, the answer’s always no.” – Chris Lee [02:56]
• “Ditch the drainers for dreamers.” – Courtney Johnson [21:01]
• “Your environment will fire people for you.” – Chris Lee [24:15]
• “Feedback is a massive cheat code.” – Chris Lee [26:54]
• “No one’s coming to save you.” – Chris Lee [34:05]
• “You have the power.” – Chris Lee [32:52]
• “Everything is a choice.” – Chris Lee [43:33]
• “Between stimulus and response, there’s a space. In that space, I have a choice…” – Viktor Frankl, as cited by Chris Lee [44:25]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• [04:04] – What is transformation? How is Chris Lee’s work different?
• [11:40] – The limits of information vs. the need for real transformation and healing
• [17:26] – Investing in self-growth: Budgets, lifelong learning, and team development
• [21:40] – Cheat code: Changing your tribe, finding your growth-minded community
• [25:56] – Feedback: The essential and uncomfortable key to real growth
• [32:25] – Radical responsibility: Exiting the victim mindset and owning your power
• [36:16] – The role of belief, self-worth, and the origins of “not enough”
• [41:04] – Cheat code: The power of language (“I choose to” vs. “I have to”)
• [43:55] – The science of positive self-talk and mindset leadership
• [48:49] – Overcoming visibility fears and perfectionism as a creative
• [52:51] – Daily practices: Gratitude, intention, and staying above feelings
• [57:05] – Holding people high: The art of rigorous, loving accountability
• [62:14] – Chris Lee on living his dream now

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Final Thoughts

This episode unpacks actionable “cheat codes” for turning dreams into reality—not by learning more, but by learning to be more. Chris Lee’s approach centers on rewiring beliefs, practicing self-talk, choosing supportive communities, and holding one’s self and others fiercely accountable. The challenge issued is clear: Transformation is available to everyone, but information alone is never enough—it’s who you become, and the tribe you assemble, that make you truly unstoppable.

Transcript

[A]

The authentic self is unstoppable. The authentic self is free.

[B]

Well, I can thank you for my engagement because that was directly related to your coaching.

[A]

I cannot handle this. Unfortunately, ChatGPT and technology has actually created increased isolation. We don't even talk to each other anymore. I get emotional because someone did that for me. I've had my coach. I still have my coaches. I've been in this work for 38 years. I spend over $100,000 a year, me, in personal development. Positive think you've got to heal where those negative neural pathways were built, and that comes from trauma. And you can't heal trauma on ChatGPT. Who told you that you can't? Who told you this? Because you picked that up somewhere.

[B]

I truly believe if we have a dream, it's on our heart for a reason.

[A]

Self worth manifests net worth.

[B]

Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. I'm your host, Courtney Johnson, and I am here to un gatekeep the gatekept. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy. Chris, first of all, you have been such an incredible mentor and coach, not only to me, but literally everybody in my orbit. My partner, my friends, my entire team, literally everybody that goes through my. I won't even let people work for me right now unless they go through you first. And this podcast is all about cheat codes. It's all about cheat code, actionable items that you can take into your day. And actually, this podcast, the fact that you're here, was teed up through a cheat code where I was kind of in this mindset of, oh, I can't ask that person to come on my podcast. I can't ask that person, whatever. And it was actually in the middle of. Of a coaching container that we were doing, and you said to set four massive goals in two weeks. So one of those goals was, I'm going to make a list of 50 people who I would never ask on my podcast because it would be way too scary. And over the course of the two weeks, I went through the 50 people on the list, five said yes. Amazing people.

[A]

So good.

[B]

So I did it again. Again, I did 50 people that I was afraid to ask on my podcast. These are even. I'm getting bigger, I'm getting scarier, and you're one of the people, and you said yes. So before we even start, I want to share this cheat code around. You might think this thing is scary. You might think this person's not going to respond to you, but truly, when you have the volume, if you reach out to a hundred people if you pitch a hundred clients, one of them is going to say yes. It's just overcoming the fear of actually doing it. So first of all, thank you for being here. Thank you.

[A]

My pleasure. Are you kidding? It's interesting because the belief that someone's gonna say no is more about us than them. And so I always say, if you don't ask, the answer's always no. So why not go for it?

[B]

Why not go for it? Why not apply for every job? Why not get every opportunity?

[A]

Ask the person out. Yeah, you know, I don't want to ask them out. You know how many relationships are currently occurring because someone had the courage to ask the other person out?

[B]

I mean, I had the courage to send a little DM on a dating app, and now I'm engaged.

[A]

So I know and I know to who?

[B]

Know to who. Okay, Chris, so there's a lot of coaches in the world, there's a lot of therapists, a lot of self help or whatever. And what you do is very different and distinct from most people. And this is transformation. So what would you tell our audience about transformation? What is transformation? They're listening to this like, okay, yeah, but what makes Chris special? Like, this is a coach. I've had coaches before. What is different about transformation?

[A]

Well, most coaches coach results or coach actions or coach strategies or coach hacks or coach different venues or opportunities to create the results that they want. And I believe that. Sorry for my voice. I just came out of a three day hardcore intensive training with you. But what I understand is the difference between a transformational coach and what I do and what other people who do. What I do is we go to the underlying conversation or the underlying belief or what's in the unconscious mind. So by transforming my belief structure and transforming my way of seeing the world, choices show up differently that have a whole menu of choices that weren't available if I hung onto a belief. And out of those choices, actions show up different and then the results transform. It's really incredible. And so basically what I do is I'm a belief mentor. And so what I do is I support you in uncovering because a lot of these limiting beliefs are unconscious to us. We don't see them because we're on autopilot. And so what I'm able to do is I'm able to support you in uncovering the beliefs that stop you in your relationships with money, with health, whatever domain that you're committed to and whatever domain that you're not allowing to flourish. Because we're meant to flourish. In all domains by Reid is supporting you in uncovering that and breaking through that. So it's a very intrusive, passionate experience and coaching module. Then people wake up to a new level of awareness, to a new life, to a new consciousness. And I go from I'm not worthy to I am extraordinary or I'm not good enough to I am enough, and literally reality shifts. And so that's the difference. So I coach more of the source versus the symptoms and the results. I also coach action, and I coach results. I've got a lot of very amazing clients that I have manifested because I always say I don't pursue anything. It pursues me. And so what I basically coach is people's mindset in their conversations, because mindset is created by the beliefs. So whatever I believe generates my mindset, and my mindset generates the energy and the frequency that I'm putting out into the world. And that energy, that energetic vibration, is what attracts whatever it is that you're committed to attracting. So that's pretty much, in a nutshell, the difference between a coach, traditional coach, and a transformational coach. So I'm not a motivator, even though my Instagram says, chris Lee motivator, because I do some motivation. Of course, I'm not someone who inspires you. I'm someone who will partner up with you, like the most compassionate partner, because I see myself as a partner, and I support you in uncovering and redesigning your beliefs so that three things happen. One, you transform your relationship with yourself, which, by the way, our biggest challenge is ourselves. I don't care who you are. I don't care where you are in life, how successful you are, how powerful you are. We are our biggest challenges. And transforming that alone is absolutely magical. The second thing that happens is you transform your relationship automatically with everybody around you. It looks like they changed, but no, you're the one that transformed. So by you breaking through how you see the world, you see people differently. And of course, based on how you see and what you outpour to them, it's what comes back. So relationships magically transform around you, which is amazing, and you're an opening for other relationships. And the third thing that happens, which to me is exciting and amazing, is you activate manifestation with freedom and passion, and you manifest things. And I know you know this. Things that blow you away, and that's the juice. Like, I love being in an environment where people every single day are saying, chris, my mind is blown. I cannot believe I finally called in my Soulmate. I've spent 20 years, 15 years. I've tried everything from dating apps to this to Cupid's to matchmakers. You know, I've done everything and nothing's worked. And I went to your workshop or I got coached by you and within six months I'm with my soulmate.

[B]

Well, I can thank you for my engagement because that was directly related to your coaching.

[A]

I cannot handle this.

[B]

I know you've made a lot of babies too, and a lot of literally.

[A]

Literally. I was on the phone with a friend of mine and she's like, you know, telling me every step of the growth of her baby and it's just amazing. She declared it in a training. She literally declared it in a training.

[B]

I literally declared I want a. I didn't know if I wanted to have kids or not and I declared it. So when I get pregnant, I'm thanking you.

[A]

I'm an uncle. I'm a funkle.

[B]

You're a funkle. To a lot of people.

[A]

To a lot of people.

[B]

So I want to share a story with you that I've actually never told you. And I think it really speaks to the amount of transformation you provide. There is someone that I've been mentored by. He's an amazing coach. He's staffed for you. I mean, he charges tens of thousands of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars to be coached by him. And what he told me is he's like, I tell my clients, my coaching is entertainment. It's entertainment. It's fun. I'll come in, I'll train your team. It's gonna feel good, it's gonna be motivated. It's entertainment. Put it in your entertainment budget. It's not a transformation budget. For transformation, you go to Chris. I send my clients to Chris for transformation. Because it's not just it is you, but it's also the container and the technology that, that you've really brought to the mainstream. And I also want to say something about the, the future. So our future. We're going in a very information heavy world. AI right? And you can go on ChatGPT right now and Google, how do I start a business? How do I build a personal brand? How do I have a better relationship with. We have access to all of the world's information and we still don't take action. You can Google how to start a business all day, but it's not the gap of the information, it's not the gap of me and knowing how to start a business. You have the steps. ChatGPT, Google. It's giving you the steps to do anything you could ever dream of, learn any skill, accomplish anything. And I think that just shows the fact that we have all the information, yet people are not taking action. So many people listening to this podcast right now. I've always wanted to write that book, and yes, I know all the steps, but I just can't get there. And so, in this next age of information, I believe that transformation is going to be even more important than it always has been, because information is no longer the gap. It's your mindset. It's your emotional intelligence. It's your ability to actually execute on those things.

[A]

That's an amazing point that you're making, and it's one that I make in seminars, and you probably heard me make the same point that we have access to all the information that has ever existed. Literally, like, even if you Google or ChatGPT Chris Lee's 10 keys on motivation, 10 keys on how to release toxic People. Like, it has all my stuff at the fingertips. Someone showed me, hey, Chris, I don't need to go to your course. It's right here. And my point to that is the information is there, but information does not cause transformation. We have the information. All of you, everyone that comes in my workshop already knows what it takes to be happy, what it takes to lose weight, what it takes to have a relationship, what it takes to make money, how to start a business, and if you don't know it, you could chatgpt it now or Google it. I used to say you could Google it. However, the knowledge does not translate into action and results, because our hard drive, which is our belief System, has spent 10, 15, 20, 30 years of creating a disciplined neural pathway in your brain. It's your default. Your brain has neural pathways, and based on what you had practiced and repeated, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, you become a master, whatever that is. The reason why, Courtney, you have the success that you have is because you have been disciplined about your craft, about your business, about your offering, about who you be in the world. You are a magnet. You don't have to even open your mouth, and people just want to be with you. Which is why I was like, of course I was a yes. Why? Because you have dedicated the time, the energy, the resources, the money, the investment. You don't stop learning, girls. You don't have to be an impact and influence. You're like, sign me up. You don't have to be staffing. You're like, I'm in. Because all these things are developing your neural pathway to be in excellence in whatever that is that you're committed to. But the same way we get disciplined about sports, those people like Serena Williams is the queen in her domain. Why? Because since she's a little girl, she's been practicing that, practicing that, practicing that. The same thing goes for fear, anger, resentment, sadness, judgment, self judgment, judgment of others, limiting beliefs. We have practiced it and practiced it and practiced it that it's already a go to in your brain, which is why it's so difficult to go, oh, I'm going to change now, or I'm going to turn over a new leaf, or I'm going to start on Monday, or I'm going to start on my birthday, or I'm going to start January 1st. Because the gravity of that pathway is so strong. And so what we offer and what I offer is a system. And that system is a discovery process, which is three days of hardcore coaching from me to you and from me to the group on their mindset. And then there's a healing process, because you can't just will yourself through. Positive thinking is not enough. You've got to heal where those negative neural pathways were built. And that comes from trauma. And you can't heal trauma. On ChatGPT, you gotta face it. You gotta do the shadow work. And I'm the king of shadow work.

[B]

You are the king.

[A]

I will guide you into the darkest moment of your existence that you don't even remember happened. Been there and heal and let go. And all of a sudden it's like, hallelujah, I see a new world for myself. Because Zen, choosing a new pathway becomes easier. And not only do we coach you on healing it, but we then coach you on how to create a structure so that you can start fulfilling on this new way of being. And there are hacks and tools and we create our individual mantras and we've got people holding us accountable. It's a whole system. Most people try to do things alone. We cannot lone wolf this anymore. And unfortunately, ChatGPT and technology has actually created increased isolation. We don't even talk to each other anymore. And so that's the difference. And that's what I understand. That that is available by the information is very powerful if you couple it with the work. And all we're doing, by the way, and all I'm doing is if people ask me, like in a statement, what I do with people, I bring people home. I bring you home again, home to yourself. Is that my camera? I bring you home. I bring you back to your authentic self. Because the authentic self is Unstoppable. The authentic self is free. The authentic self is not defined by people's opinions.

[B]

They're speaking to their soul.

[A]

Yeah, and why could I do that? I get emotional because someone did that for me. I've had my coach, I still have my coaches. Like, I've been in this work for 38 years. I spend over $100,000 a year me in personal development. I'm always investing. It's like a business, you know, you make money and you have two choices. Keep that business where it is or invest in your business and grow it.

[B]

Yeah, you, you said this in a training. You said, I have a hundred thousand dollar budget a year in personal development. This is a cheat code. This actually is our first cheat code of you need to have some sort of budget, some sort of allocation for personal development. If we think of all these people at the top, we think of, I'm a podcaster. I want to be like Mel Robbins. I want to be like this person, whatever. They have all done that. But I don't know if everyone knows that or the extent personally. I spent $60,000 this year on personal development. Actually, one of your students, Cassidy, he had one of his clients come to him and say, hey, Cassidy, I have a hundred thousand dollars. Should I put in real estate stocks? This. That he said no. Well, first send them to Chris and invest that in yourself. So I, I want to bring this up because a lot of our listeners just might not understand the extent of what people have invested in themselves and that, that actually it's not just a nice to have. Yeah, it'll accelerate you. It's re. To invest in yourself is a requirement to get.

[A]

It's not a luxury people, it's a necessity. And what's amazing is like people that are at the top. Like, look at Lewis House. He's almost at a billion downloads in his podcast. In addition to that, his brand has increased and grown and his net worth is where he never even imagined it. Like, when I was working with him about his vision, he never saw where he is now. He declared big, big stuff. But he's beyond what he declared, which is always my goal. And why is that? Because Louis, first of all, has participated in all my workshops. I coached him for years and supported him. I don't just coach him. He sends his teams to my trainings. I coach his CEO, I coach, you know, the people his family like, all the people that are in his, like, like you, the people in his orbit. He not only has invest. He doesn't only invest in himself. He invests in the people around him so that everybody's in the right, in the right mindset. Because it's not just enough, and this is a good point to make another hack. It's not just about you having the right mindset and you having the tools. It is critical that you have an enrolled team around you that are speaking the same language. Because what good is it to invest $10 million into a business when the people that are in that business are miserable or not In a growth mindset, they're in a comfort zone mindset or a limited mindset, it will take you back. You will not create the results you can create. And there are companies that have adopted this style. Like if you go to Lululemon, by the way, Lululemon, the founders are graduates of the work. All their employees go through growth mindset work. You walk in, I went, went in to say hi because I know people in management and they're like, oh my God, Chris Lee. And they're like hugging me. And that's the energy. They did a vision thing last week and they did their goals and their principles. This is not a luxury. If you really want to be the most outrageous, epic version of yourself where you make the most outrageous and epic impact in other people. It takes support and it takes coaching and it takes transformation.

[B]

Yeah. It's a requirement.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this is our next cheat code. Ditch the drainers for dreamers. So you're saying not only do we get to work on ourselves, but everyone around us, if they're not working on themselves, if they're not improving, if they're not inspiring you, they might not be the best people to have in your team, in your corner as your friends. And I get a lot of clients that come to me and say, courtney, I'm the weird one. I'm the weird one for building my business. I'm the weird one for freelancing. I'm the weird one for working on myself, for working out, for going to self development workshops. What would you tell that person that feels left out because they're. This is weird to that weird to their friends or their team?

[A]

Well, it's so funny because how it's interesting. I don't, I don't know your list of cheat codes, but I keep announcing them.

[B]

You do.

[A]

That's how connected we are. But it is what I would say to the people that think they're the weird one. They're in the wrong tribe. They're around the wrong people. Because I'll share something that I saw on Melrose in Los Angeles. I'm in LA half the time because I got clients. I work with CEOs and celebrities, and I also have a center, a training center there. And I was walking on Melrose and I saw this cartoon because there's a lot of graffiti. But this graffiti was amazing. It was two people sitting at a table, and one person had on their shirt Growth Mindset, and the other person had on their shirt Comfort Zone and Growth Mindset. What they were saying, like in a cartoon. They put in a bubble. What they're saying. This is just not gonna work out. Growth Mindset says to Comfort Zone as he's leaning over two people at a table, looking at each other. This is just not going to work out. What's the point? You've got to understand that if you don't have people that are in the same frequency or operating from the same vibe or have the same vision and the same intention and shared values, those people become detrimental. And what happens is we justify them in our lives like, well, they've been my friend forever, or, you know, it's my. My cousin or it's my brother, and it's that. I'm not saying you have to kick them out of your life. You just can't give them as much access as they had before because your energy needs to be towards. I understand two goals. Being the best version of myself and making the biggest impact possible. Those are my two goals. That's it. I am every day committed to being the best version of myself. So I'm a sponge. And I'm learning. I'm learning so much from you. I know I'm a mentor to people, but to me, people are my teachers. Like I say, in seminars, I'm in the front row, a student. Like, I'm. I'm like, bring it on. Because, of course, what I already know is the enemy of growth. Right? This I know.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I. I went through that journey. I. I came into your workshop saying, I already have a successful business.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm so awesome.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

I'm so smart and developed. What am I going to learn from these people? And what am I going to learn from these people around you? This person is 20 years old. What am I going to learn from them? This person is 80 years old.

[A]

What am I going to learn from them? And they're all our teachers. And it comes back to the question that what I would say to the people that are surrounded by toxic people. You gotta. The clearer you are about your vision and about what you want around you and about something that we could talk about boundaries and lay down those boundaries. The cleaner your environment becomes, because you don't have to ask anyone to leave. They'll leave on their own. It's amazing how this. And I talked about this with the staff. It's amazing how the clearer I am about who I be in the world and what I will tolerate in the world, the faster people leave my side. It's like the universe will eject them. And you could do that in your businesses, by the way. You set a very clear container, a clear context about what the environment is that you're committed to creating your business. What are the non negotiables? And whoever doesn't follow that you didn't fire them, the environment fired them. And that's the same thing. In my. In my. In my life, I could tell you that I'm surrounded by givers. I'm surrounded by people that applaud what I do. And the people that were jealous or detractors or wanted to keep me in a box, they're not there anymore. And that's what haters do. The reason why there's haters is because in narcissists, we could do a whole episode around that.

[B]

I would love that.

[A]

I'm an expert. I'm an expert on that topic, which you all want to hear about. I have a feeling I'll be back.

[B]

Yeah, you will.

[A]

You can't shut me up. Anyway. Anyway, putting down boundaries is important. And being clear about what it is that you'll tolerate.

[B]

Totally. Ooh. So brings us to the next cheat code, and that is feedback. Feedback is a cheat code. So much of us go through our lives first not looking at feedback. I'm gonna avoid my bank account. I'm gonna avoid the blood test. I'm gonna avoid this or that. And also not asking for it, not seeking it out. And something that I learned in your workshop is that fast. Feedback is a cheat code. When you're open to feedback from your partner, your friend, a coach, from the objective numbers that are looking back at you and really take it in. Not as, oh, how is this happening to me? But what am I doing to cause this? And what are the patterns? Okay, the pattern is that this keeps showing up. I noticed that as feedback. The pattern is a lot of my friends keep mirroring back that I'm always late, right? This feedback. So most people in the world do not look at feedback and do not ask for feedback. So why is feedback such a cheat code to getting to where you want to go.

[A]

Amazing question. However, the. The problem with feedback for most people is their ego. And the ego wants to be right. And feedback makes you wrong. And no one wants to be wrong. And people get offended. They get. They get defensive. They want to make you wrong. They want to take you out of their life because you said something that hit a button. And our ego wants to be right and also wants to look good and wants to be in control. However, being right, looking good, staying in control keeps you in your comfort zone. There's no growth. And the only way to grow and the only way to ensure that what you're creating that's working continues to work is through feedback. And feedback is a massive cheat code. And to be open to feedback, both feedback. Feedback about what's working. Some people actually get offended if you tell them something's working, and someone's like, well, I know. It's like, okay. And some people, you know, when they have a hard time receiving, they've got barriers around receiving. They have a hard time receiving feedback about what's working. It's good to get feedback about what's working because you know what you can duplicate. But to me, the most important feedback and the one that I solicit from my coaches, the one I want the most, is what's not working or what's in my way or what needs to be different. Because the universe is always giving you feedback. And like you said earlier, most people aren't listening. Your bank account is feedback. How many messages you get on your phone is feedback. How people treat you as feedback. Your body is feedback. Numbers are feedback. Your cholesterol level is feedback. Your weight is feedback. Your body gives you feedback. Your relationships give you feedback. Your finances give you feedback. Your mom gives you feedback. Your dad gives you feedback. Your children give you feedback. But A, we don't listen, and B, we take it personal. And if you could learn, and this is amazing, to have the humility and the grace to bring on that feedback and let that feedback come in so that you could identify what you said. Patterns. Not all feedback is true. Sometimes people could say something negative about you that has nothing to do with you. It might be just them reflecting themselves so that I would kind of let go. I'd still look at it like, okay, how am I creating this? But if enough people are saying the same thing, you know, one person calls you an ass, thank them for sharing. If 12 people call you an ass, buy a saddle. Because based on results, that's how you show up. And some people argue with the universe. The Entire planet is saying the same thing. You're like, no, it's like, wake up. You will never grow. And for the people that open themselves up for feedback. And I acknowledge you because I remember how you came in. I watched you. It was kind of like, I'm successful. I got it put together. I look amazing. I work out, I'm healthy. I got it all. I got this. I got my man. I got. What do I need to learn from these people? And when you're in a general public training, you've got people all ages, all body sizes, all financial statuses. And it's very easy to only listen to people that are at the level that you're at, which is a mistake. Only listen to people that agree with you. Where's the growth? And one thing that I find with successful people, like, I'm the guy who coaches the person who no one coaches. I'm the guy who coaches the CEO who has 5,000 employees that are terrified of him. I'm the guy that coaches the celebrity that's surrounded by people that are fans or there's a paycheck in between so they hear what they want to hear. And the reason why I'm that guy is because I am their secret weapon. I'm the person that keeps them in check. I'm the person that is willing to say my experience of you is and tell them all the things that I'm saying that are sabotaging them. There's no growth without feedback. Feedback is information. And with that information, I can grow. And so it's really amazing that you're teaching, you know, that, sharing that hack with the audience. Because if you can learn to be really open to feedback and not take it personal and understand that that feedback is for your own growth, you will grow in places you never thought you could grow.

[B]

Yeah, I think of it like an athlete mentality. If I was practicing basketball and you told me my arm is in the wrong place when I'm taking a shot, and you kept saying that over and over. I was getting it from different coaches, and I still was like, no, my arm's in the right place. Clearly, the results are not showing it. Everybody's giving me the same feedback. As an athlete, you would probably say, yeah, I want to correct that arm movement because I want more basket.

[A]

Well, that's. Athletes that are successful. Yeah, you know, it's like an archer. If you. If the bullseye is there and then you are pulling back and you keep missing the bullseye and you're not hitting the target, feedback is Letting you know how far to pull back, how to tilt your arm, where to pull, when to let go, where to focus, all those things. Because insanity, my friends, is doing the same thing over and over and over expecting a different result. And most of us, unfortunately, suffer from insanity. And the premise of feedback is responsibility. That's another hack, by the way.

[B]

Yeah, this is.

[A]

Am I leading you to another? Am I leading you to the next one? Am I leading you to the next.

[B]

Next chico victim being out of victim mindset. Because you know, there is somebody listening to this right now and they're like, great, that's. That's awesome, Chris. Right. But no, my bank account is where it is because I have a series of bad luck. My health is where it is because bad genes run in my family. My relationship is rocky because, well, my partner's just always annoying. Right. What would you tell that person? Because I know those stories are coming up with some of our listeners, because those stories come up with all of us.

[A]

So how do you shift it all the time? Every week, Every month for 38 years, I've been hearing those stories. And I've also seen those very people transform the very things they thought was impossible. And it's probably the biggest hack when you realize that a, you have infinite power within yourself. You have the power to create what you want, when you want, where you want, whatever time you want. And I know it sounds like pie in the sky, hope, wish, want, fantasy world, but it's true. Because every one of us has in our genetic code, in our DNA, the information and the power to create what we want. If you look at children, children come into the world free. Children come into the world unstoppable. And children, just by being, have everything they want. Like people just melt around children. And so that those superpowers that at some point shut down become the ammunition to create what we want. And so the first step is to believe in yourself that you're enough. And the second thing is to realize, like what Mel Robbins says all the time, no one's coming to save you. No one's going to fix your bank account. No one's going to come and offer you marriage. No one's going to come and give you a million dollars to invest in your company. Not if you don't show up differently. Energy attracts energy. And so when I take responsibility, I'm taking my power back. And I'm taking my power back and the belief that I have the power to create what I want. Now, energy moves the universe and that belief gets transformed into Intention. Intention is the consciousness or the awareness that whatever I want, I can have. And if I go all in from a responsible mindset, not a victim mindset, I will attract what I want. So responsibility is the mindset of that. Whatever it is that I want to have happen, it's up to me. Why? Because I have the power. Because victims go, oh, yeah, it's up to me, but yeah, right. No, no, no, it's up to you because you have the power. And the minute you believe it, you see it. The minute I went from it's up to the economy, it's up to other people, it's up to someone that gave me the job, it's up to me being born in a different family, in a different environment. We see stories of people that come from the worst upbringings and create magic and miracles in their life. And you see people that have a silver platter handed to them and they sabotage and destroy their lives. What's the difference? The mindset?

[B]

Yeah. I think it's really interesting that you bring up belief because I also see that as a gap in my listeners, my students, my clients, of how do you actually get yourself to believe it? Yes, it is my dream to quit my job and start doing my art full time, but I don't really believe that's possible. How would I do that? How would you coach someone into really seeing that what they desire and really knowing that it's totally possible for them?

[A]

Well, they gotta understand that their capacity, as long as I hold my capacity is limited. No matter what, even if someone hands me the art job, I'm still not gonna be enough in it. Because there's something also called imposter syndrome, which is people who got the, you know, the luck in their brain because it wasn't luck to have the job or to have the role or they landed, but their mindset is not in the same frequency of their result, so they start sabotaging it. And so the minute I decide that I am enough and that I have the capacity and that I am capable, then I'm going to be able to step into the role that I want to step into. Now if we look at the source of all of this, like if I was going to coach someone in real time in a course, it comes down to something even bigger, and that's self worth. So someone who thinks I'm not enough to have the money, or I'm not enough to have the man in my life, or I'm not enough to have the business, or I'm not enough to Lose the weight or I'm not enough to reverse generational trauma. What they're basically saying is, I'm not good enough. And so what I would do is I would get into the main engine room and go, where does I'm not good enough come from? Who told you you're not good enough? Who told you that you can't. Who told you this? Because you picked that up somewhere. I'm sorry. Babies don't come into the world going, hi, world, I'm not good enough. Babies come in the world. Like, here I am. And so I just hit my elbow. Here I am. I can't stay still. But I would coach someone on their worth, because what I understand is that self worth manifests net worth. If we chase net worth dragging, I'm not good enough. Even if I accomplish it, A, I won't enjoy it, B, I will sabotage it one way or the other. Now, if we double down on self worth, then you won't have that belief of, well, I can't have this and I can't have that. That's not gonna happen. And so that's how I would coach someone is identifying. Where does that come from? What traumatic episode in your life led you to believe that?

[B]

Yeah, because I. I mean, I truly believe if we have a dream, it's on our heart for a reason. Like, we. There is. There is some reason why, like, it's not willy nilly. Like I always say, you know, if you're in your shower practicing your standup comedy routine every day, and you think everybody else does that, well, maybe you're meant to be a comedian. If you have fake podcast interviews in your car, if you act and sing and dance. Like, there is something there. Something that's really helped me in believing that I can accomplish my dreams is just seeing other people that are doing it. People that have similar stories to me, people that are surrounding me, that have accomplished that. I'm like, if they can do it, I can do it too.

[A]

Right? However, though, if I still have that belief that I'm talking about, you'll think, oh, they can do it and I can't. It's worse because you'll compare yourself to them and go, oh, my God, I can never step on that stage. It happens when I train trainers. Like, I can never be Chris Lee. I'm like, don't be Chris Lee. Be, you know, be the best you. So, yes, seeing other people that have gone through what you've gone through absolutely supports you, but you've got to do the work on your Self worth, you develop self worth, I promise you you'll be like, that's amazing. And I'm going to do, I'm going to not only do that, but I'm going to crush it. It's a whole different energy because our vision determines how far we go. If our vision is short sighted, then we're not going to go very far. The other thing that I would recomm recommend to people to accomplish the things in addition to healing and doing that work is surround yourself with people that hold you accountable, that hold you accountable. Because victim mindset isn't just about an action, it's a thought. It's every time you complain, I don't have the money, I don't have the time. Listen. Every time you complain, whether it's publicly or privately, you're feeding your cells, your cells are listening, your body is listening. And what happens is you're in a state of alert all the time. Negativity, negative thinking, victim thinking, that affects your brain, affects your body, affects everything around you, affects what you put out and affects what comes back. So manage your mind. Go from negative thinking to positive thinking. Go from an interpretation that's limiting to an interpretation that's powerful. It's amazing. The power of the mind.

[B]

One of the cheat codes that you have around this is the power of words. And there's actually changes that we can make in our language to help bring us from a victim to a victor champion ownership mentality. So even how we talk about our problems, how we talk about what happened to us, the specific word choices we use can shift that in our mind. So what are some of the word changes?

[A]

I could give you some simple stuff like you know how we say my ex husband and my ex girlfriend and my ex boss and my, my, my what you're doing is with the word my carrying them on your shoulder. And I'm sure you don't want to keep carrying your ex husband on your shoulder or your ex boyfriend on your shoulder. So shifting the word from my to the ex husband, the ex partner, the ex boss, the makes it neutral. It's not yours, it's the, it's separate. So that alone will shift energy. Another thing that shifts energy is when you go from when you say I have to, I have to wake up and I have to do laundry and I have to and I have to and I have to and shifting it alone to I choose to. That's a whole new universe. If you want the rest of you to come to my workshop. But there's more. But have To. To have to. From. From going to. Oh God, I have to pick up the kids at school and I have to do a podcast and I have to get in the car and I have to do laundry. I have to pay bills and I have to. The have to energy ensures victim. It's heavy, it's toxic, it's. It's exhausting. And some people have half to faces and have to body language and have to I have to. And you know, they say a lot about this new generation, how even just leaving the house as a have to or getting on the phone is a have to. Because we're controlled by our feelings, we're controlled by our emotions, we're controlled by things that we become victimized. A victim when they don't feel like it, they don't do it. A victim when they're tired, they stop. A victim when they're pissed, they check out. A victim when they're cold, they're hungry, they stop. So that's all have to the minute you graduate to wait a minute. I am the owner of my own life. I choose to. There's freedom and choice.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Everything is a choice to. And so by shifting that one word, you're going to shift a reality in your life.

[B]

Yeah. That's so, so powerful. Yeah. And positive self talk. I know this is something that people say all the time. They're like, we've heard this a million times, Courtney. But truly, like starting to become aware of how you talk to yourself, how you talk about what you're doing.

[A]

Well, you could be. You could have heard it a million times. Doesn't mean you're doing it. Okay. Because everyone in my workshop has heard it and paid coaches and therapists and they walk in having heard it their whole lives. But there's a difference between hearing something and learning how to your mind. And that to me is the biggest hack in responsibility. And of course back to surround yourself with people that are in the right mindset. And how you talk to yourself is also the hack. And basically 90% of what we say to ourselves is negative. That's not Chris Lee. That is science. That's psychology. Research. It. Some people say 85%, some people say 95%. So I kind of, you know, 95%. I rounded up to 90. Even if it's 60, it's too much. In other words, 60, 80, 90% of your self talk is negative. And what happens is you think it, you become it, you feel it, you believe it, you attract it, think it, become it, feel it, attract it. You think it, you believe it, you become it, you feel it, you attract it. And the same thing goes for beliefs that are supportive. So if you shift the negative self talk into positive self talk, you think it, you become it, you feel it, you attract it. If I learn to lead my mind, I can become bulletproof, literally, because I don't have control over what comes my way. I don't have control over what people do. I don't have control over a lot of things in my life, but I have 100% control over. Over Where I go with. Reminds me of a quote that I use in the training. Viktor Frankl, man's search for meaning. A man who was in a concentration camp who found freedom. Imagine that, found freedom in that situation. And basically his quote is, between stimulus and response, there's a space. And in that space, I have a choice. That choice determines my destiny, determines my future. And what happens in that choice? The self talk, I'm screwed. My life is over. I'm a victim. I can't or I got this. As long as I'm breathing, they can't take that away. I have the power of my interpretation. That to me, is a hack. And that takes a lot of practice. And one of the ways you can support each other is when you have people in your life that are going into a dark place. Just kind of hold them accountable and say, I love you. And I want to know what's the self talk that you're having right now that's causing the stress? And what's another self talk you could replace it with that will cause joy? And I do that with my clients all the time. I don't really coach so much their results because they know how to produce results. I coach their mindset and the self talk that self talk is everything. And guess what happens? You shift self talk. Everything else transforms.

[B]

Something I found really interesting in my work. So I help people post on social media and feel comfortable.

[A]

And you're amazing.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And you're authentic. And I just want to say that you're authentic, you're magical. People love you and your content. And I get that feedback in every training I do. Because everyone who's in your world comes to my workshops. They're like, oh, my God, we love Courtney. Courtney inspired me. Courtney is magic. And it's true. You are walking magic. Thank you.

[B]

I appreciate you. Yeah. Something that I notice is when people go to post, they go to post the talk, they go to post their offer, they go to post about their new song. That's when they really Start to get visible to the self talk. Who do I think I am? This sounds dumb. I'm gonna be annoying. What are they gonna think of me?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And what I've noticed is a lot of times I also have people journal on the talk they give to others when they're scrolling, you know, oh, they're annoying, they're weird. Who do they think they are? And I find that it matches up a lot. I used to always say, I can't post because I'm gonna be annoying. I'm gonna be annoying, I'm gonna be annoying. And I found myself scrolling and looking at other people saying, they're annoying, they're annoying, they're annoying. Anyways, just find that interesting that a lot of times I talk about mirrors.

[A]

What we judge in others, of course, clearly is what's gonna be reflected back on us. Because if I am judging someone's content and going, oh, they're so corny, they're so stupid, they're so that. Well, how do you know? How do you see that? You gotta have a point of reference. And guess who that point of reference is? You.

[B]

Me? Yeah. So what would you tell some of our listeners who want to start again putting out their music, their art, their content, their book, but they feel a little nervous? What are people going to think about me?

[A]

That's a great question. I've worked with a lot of creative people. As you know, I work with people in. In all art forms and influencers. If you look on my page, I coach the influencers. I coach the people that are influencing the world. And one thing a lot of influencers and creative people have in common, and probably your audience has in common, is perfection. It's like, if it's not perfect, I'm not putting it out. If my song's not perfect, if the script isn't perfect. And I want to say to everybody, people don't give a shit about perfection. People want authenticity. And by the way, that's the thing I coached Louis on in the beginning of his career. I'm like, louis, your magic is your authenticity. If you look at the documentary that they did on his life, and as his coach came on the documentary, they're like, what's unique about Louis and what's great about Louis and why Lewis is so successful? Lewis Howes is because he is himself. What you see on the video is who he is at home, who he is at work. He is that all the time. And he has no qualms about not being perfect. He'll post things that are imperfect he'll even misspell stuff. And he's just. His thing is flowing out. He is an outflow and he's not trying to look good and not trying to do it right. And I think that one of the biggest problems that creative people have is they're too concerned. And this I've coached you on in public speaking and all of you that want to be public speakers, and I believe that if you want to influence, you need to be a public speaker. You're too concerned with being interesting. Like, I hope this is good enough. I hope that my talk is interesting. I hope that people understand me. I hope that it's good. And so all that focuses on you versus be interested in your audience. Think what I'm going to give is a gift to them. I'm focusing on them. And when you focus on the audience and you're in this giver mode, then you're not going to be so selective in what you put out. You're going to trust yourself, trust your content, trust your outpour, and also trust that you have a gift and you have something unique that people don't have. And you're offering them that. That's why you're in the position that you're in. And, and let feedback speak for you. You'll know based on how many likes and how many comments and how many. Whatever. If you post something in a style and you get nothing back, then you know that your audience doesn't want that, you know, and it's not personal. It's basically reading the room.

[B]

So, Chris, I. Ten years ago, I thought people like you and people who talked like you and lived a life like you're living was bullshit. I'm like, people who saying all these words and they're so positive and whatever, like, that's not real. I literally thought it was not real. And I'm wondering if some of our audience, some of our listeners might be thinking like, this guy's so positive. This isn't whatever. Or even Louis. Like, come on. Yeah, Lewis is motivational. Rah rah. But like, is that really him? And that was my story. Like my. I was. I remember one time I went to a festival and I was helping a friend set up the. The floor on a tent and it was like those yoga mat puzzle pieces. And he was like, courtney, we get to play the puzzle game. Instead of we have to put down the flooring of this event, we get to play the puzzle game. And I was so mad. What do you mean we're playing the puzzle game? No, we're working. We're setting up a. We're setting up a tent for a festival. This is work. What are you? Am I a child? What do you mean? We're playing the puzzle game. Like, fuck off. And so I suspect that, because I thought that there might be listeners that are having the same story right now. What do you mean? I'm choosing to pick on my kid? No, Chris, who are you being this positive? Poly?

[A]

Well, I'm not always positive. Let's be clear. I'm not always positive. I don't wake up positive. Most of the times I wake up exhausted, tired, or whatever the hell is going on with me in the moment, because some of the barriers that we have never go away. So it's not about being robots and it's not about that. We have these perfect lives. I have challenges and issues like anyone does. However, I have a hack, and that hack is to be bigger than how I feel. That hack is called choice. That hack is called vision. I'm clear on my vision. And the first two things I do, and these are great hacks in the morning. The first thing I do when I wake up is I express gratitude. Because gratitude puts me in the mindset of focusing on all that's good. And so if I start my day going, thank you, God, universe, because to me, God is the universe. Thank you, God universe, for allowing me to show up again today. Because people drop dead any second and we all see this, people are dropping dead at all ages. It's incredible how death is not on our schedule. And one day, all that will be left is what you're seeing on this video of me, right? That's reality. And all that will be left is what they're seeing of you. And one day we'll be gone. So I've got that mindset very clear. So when I wake up in the morning and I feel whatever I feel, I go, wait a minute. Who am I to judge that I could breathe, that I'm alive, that, like, take that for granted? One day I won't be able. I'm not going to exist in the physical form. So I wake up and I express gratitude for being alive. And the second thing I do is I declare my vision and I pick three words. That's my hack. Today, I'm creating and I declare three things based on what's in front of me. If I have a podcast, a training, a TV show, or an investor meeting, or whatever it is that I'm doing or hanging out with my family, I picked the three words that are Going to elevate me. So today, I'm creating love, confidence, and joy. For example, that was my intention today. And I approach everything from that place. So no matter what comes my way and no matter if my feelings dip or go up, because feelings, the world of feelings is a roller coaster. And so for people that go, yeah, this all sounds good, but you're giving into your feelings. And so my hack is to go back to my commitment and my vision and my intention. And what happens is, in the beginning, it seems weird, because it was weird for me in the beginning. But over time, you start developing that pathway, and it becomes a discipline. And all it takes is 90 days, my friends, 90 days of consistent practice to shift a mindset, and then, of course, following up with support for the rest of your life. Like, it's like, you know, I. I'm a lifer in this.

[B]

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, Chris, I'm. What? One of your superpowers is you hold people very high. And a lot of people that listen to this podcast, they're. They're coaches. They're, you know, a lot of career coaches, social media coaches, people that are guiding others. And something I really admire about you is you don't take bs. You see people at their greatness. And so, for example, let's say a client comes to me and they say, courtney, I didn't post yesterday because I was tired and I was sick, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Something I'm working on is sometimes my clients will tell me that, and I'm like, that's really valid. You were sick and your kid was crying, and this and this and this. What you would say is, what did you commit to? And so I'm curious, how do you perceive holding people high? How can we hold people high around us, our clients, our families, our friends? And are there any tools or cheat codes or tips that you could give to our audience on really holding people to their greatness?

[A]

Well, it all depends on where you're putting your energy. If you're putting your energy on being liked as a coach or being, you know, you feel like you're lucky that you have a client, then you're not going to be free to coach them. And my attitude is they're lucky to have me, and that the reason why they have me is because of that. So if you tell me you're going to post four times this week, I'm going to hold you accountable to the four posts. I don't care what your story is. So if someone said, I Didn't do it because I didn't feel like it. I'm like, well, can I support you? Because I always create permission. Can I coach you? Okay. You're letting your feelings and your circumstances become bigger than your commitment. And as long as that's going to happen, you're going to stay in mediocrity. And sometimes people don't like to hear that. But the people that I work with know what's coming because they know I'm going to hold them accountable. So basically what I'm saying is, am I saying to blow off your children? No. Am I saying to blow off your feelings? No. I'm saying take care of your children, deal with your feelings, but keep your word. Can I do both? A hundred percent. So how am I holding people? Powerful. And that's the way I hold people. If you're late to my class, you know I'm going to stop you in front of the whole class and go, you're late. No, the traffic to this, to that. If I didn't give a shit, I'd say, okay, well, I feel bad for you, but try better next time. Anyone's been in my class knows that's not even a possibility because I'd be selling out on them. So it's not about making anybody wrong. It's actually stopping them from making themselves wrong. Because when you give into a circumstance, you're making yourself wrong. You're saying, I'm not powerful, I'm not enough, and so I hold people accountable. Are there times that things are out of our control? 100%. But that's the exception, not the rule. If it's something that was completely out of their control, I would work with them a different way. So what can you learn from this? Are you beating yourself up? Stop beating yourself up. Because most people that are committed want to have the result. Like, I promise you, the client who did not post it wasn't because they didn't want to, but they felt overwhelmed. And so having compatibility, it's a dance. But in most cases, it's about holding the boundary. As a coach, client, and I always give people an orientation before they hire me. And I say, I am brutal. I'm intense. I'm going to hold. Hold you accountable. You're investing. I'm very expensive. I deserve it and you deserve it. But here's what you're going to get from that. I am going to absolutely interrupt the belief that is stopping you so that you can create the results that you want to create. And so from that context, if people are late or people don't show up or people are half ass, I'm going to hold them accountable. And by the way, if it continues, I'll say, find another coach. I have fired many people. I've said, you know what? I'm not going to coach anymore. I'm not for sale. One time, one of the highest paying clients was a. I'm not going to say his name out of confidentiality, but he's one of the biggest pop stars in the world. And he kept blowing off the call and blowing off the call. And I got him on the call and I said, listen, you blow off one more call, you're going to have to find another coach because you're wasting my time and you're out of integrity because you gave your word and you're paying a lot of money. You're being reckless with your money. Because I don't want your money. Because I'm going to charge you whether you show up or not. Because my time's my time. And so I was out of concern for him. If I'd had no integrity, I'd keep taking his money and he'd show up once every couple months. But that paycheck, that money kept coming in and I stopped him and I said, listen, not this guy. Yeah, massive meltdown. How could you talk to me this way? Oh, my God. D D, he's like, well, then don't coach me. I'm like, okay, we'll find someone that will tolerate that and we'll take your money. I won't take your money. But you don't get to break your word just because you're so and so. Long story short, ran into him six months later at an event. He came up to me, he said that was the biggest breakthrough of his life.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And because of that conversation, he landed on a what deal? And what, you know, sponsored product. People stopped giving him products because he would no show. Can you imagine, like, blowing off millions of dollars because I'm tired, I'm not in the mood because I already have enough money. It's not about the money. It's about integrity. No, I didn't coach him again, but that ship sailed. I was like, I'd move it on. And he was good, but he was super grateful. So people may not like when you hold them accountable, but in the long run, they're going to love. Yeah, kind of like you, right? You walked in, you're like, what is this guy? Is he crazy? And at the end you're like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

[B]

Like thank you. Be my coach forever.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Now you're stuck with me for six months.

[A]

I love you. I'm yours forever.

[B]

Okay, Chris, one last question. I asked this to all of my guests and that is, what is your dream?

[A]

I am living my dream. My dream is not in the future. My dream is in the present. My dream is to sit here with you and see you take all your gifts and pour them into your audience, pour them into your family, pour them into your soon to be husband, pour them into your children that are coming. Pour them into your community. My dream is to level the world up by waking up the gift in every human being.

[B]

You're doing it. That's amazing. Well, Chris, how can people find you, work with you? They're gonna listen to this and be like, oh my gosh, I need to reach out to Chr immediately. And we'll put, put resources in the, the, the show notes as well.

[A]

Yeah, if they want coaching with me, they could send me a DM and then, you know, basically ask, you know, what it is that is the offer and also express the intention. Right. To see if it's a fit. Coaching needs to be a fit for both people. I don't have a lot of time for that or spaces. But if there's something that is inspiring to me, I always make ref. I always say that the second thing is for seminars with me, which I actually recommend even more than the coaching. Like, honestly, you'll get more for your buck that way, I promise you. And if you want one on, some people just want the one on one because they don't want to be in a group setting. And I understand that. But the most amazing seminars are alaeq.com and that is Ascension Leadership Academy. And that's where you'll have me for 30 hours in level one and for about 60 to 80 hours in level two. And level three is a three month coaching program. And it's an amazing process that Courtney has done. And so that will be in the show notes, I'm sure. And follow me on Instagram. ChrisLeeMotivator. And I have a book that's out called transform youm Life. 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity Forward by of course, Lewis Howes, who shares his journey with me in the book. And it's 10 principles, 10 hacks to create abundance and prosperity in your life. Because my mindset is every one of us is already abundant. And you could get that on Amazon. And all the money, by the way, from that book goes to St. Jude's that's amazing. That's my passion project that I've been a part of for 20 years now.

[B]

So beautiful. Yeah, we'll put that all in the show notes. Well, thank you, Chris, for coming on the podcast. You're so amazing.

[A]

Are you kidding? I adore you, I love you, and I love you guys. You're now part of my life. So thank you, Page.