The ONE Thing That Creates Change (It’s Not Trauma Healing), with Kassidy Warren

Summary

Slay The Gatekeeper: "The ONE Thing That Creates Change (It’s Not Trauma Healing)"

Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Cassidy (Kassidy) Warren
Date: January 6, 2026

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Overview

In this high-energy, deeply honest episode, host Courtney Johnson and guest Kassidy Warren unwind the real engine behind meaningful personal and professional change—and it’s not the typical trauma healing narrative. Instead, Kassidy and Courtney open up about uncomfortable truths: most people aren’t living the lives they want because they refuse to go “all in” and burn the bridges to mediocrity. The conversation is packed with tough-love “cheat codes,” actionable advice, and pivotal mindset shifts for anyone looking to break out of default-mode living, whether in business, content creation, or personal development.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Accountability Void of Adulthood

[04:10]–[05:16]

• Kassidy emphasizes how, in their late 20s and 30s, most adults are no longer held accountable like they were in school or team sports.
• “Nobody in your sphere is usually holding you accountable to what you say your dreams are, or what you want, or your own standards.” (A, 04:29)
• Adult life typically lacks external accountability, so self-discipline and vision are crucial.

2. The Power of Hard Things & High Standards

[03:16]–[05:16]

• Doing “hard things” (like military training or cheerleading bootcamps) forges the work ethic and resilience required for success.
• Real growth comes when you operate at a higher standard—often enforced by mentors or tough communities.

3. Vision and Purpose Over Default Living

[06:53]–[10:00]

• Most people drift on autopilot, without a clear vision for their lives.
• Kassidy links real change and motivation to having a concrete vision:
  • “When you can actually say, this is what I want... it gives you a purpose behind your actions.” (A, 06:20)

4. Taking Big Risks and Betting on Yourself

[07:27]–[10:00]

• Kassidy shares their shift from engineering and consulting to podcasting, calling it the hardest and most necessary leap.
• The act of “putting money on the line” for your dream (whether renting a studio, launching a business, or moving cities) creates stakes and commitment.

5. Environments, Role Models, and Proximity Power

[10:04]–[13:14]; [18:19]–[19:33]

• The right environment and mentors can either empower big dreams or enforce mediocrity.
• “Proximity is power 100%. You gotta get out of your hometown.” (B, 18:19)

6. Losing (or Outgrowing) Old Relationships

[13:34]–[16:09]

• Growth requires new rooms and a willingness to let go of 80% of your current circle.
  • “The majority of people in the world, in order to get to their dream, probably have to lose 80% of people that are in their circle.” (B, 14:41)
• Kassidy invokes the “bucket of crabs” analogy: old associates may unconsciously pull you back into comfort zones.

7. Time Allocation & “Doubling Up” Tasks

[16:09]–[18:12]

• Advice on efficient networking: combine activities (e.g., hiking or co-working with friends wanting advice) to maximize ROI on time and energy.

8. The “Turning Pro” Mindset

[21:49]–[24:16]; [41:10]–[42:26]

• True transformation occurs at moments where you “turn pro”—committing fully and acting as a professional in your chosen mission.
  • “Your last episode is the marketing for your future guests.” (A, 39:32)

9. Radical Self-Honesty and Action

[24:16]–[26:53]

• Kassidy exposes the culture of avoidance (healing, routines, distractions) that delays action on real dreams.
  • “Most people are one phone call away from really living their dream, but we're too afraid to ask for what we want.” (A, 26:53)

10. Accountability vs. Excuses / No “Toe-Dipping”

[28:53]–[30:40]; [33:32]–[36:31]

• Half-committed efforts (“toe dipping”) signal a lack of conviction; true support and results only follow total commitment.
  • “The universe rewards those that go all in. Bottom line.” (A, 29:07)
• Excusitis (“I can’t because…”) is framed as a disempowering mindset:
  • “You are giving your power away to everybody else, and you're disempowering yourself from actually being able to do what you want.” (A, 33:32)

11. Burning the Boats—No Plan B

[36:31]–[38:20]

• Creating “no retreat” scenarios (quitting jobs, moving cities) forces you to rise to new standards.

12. Cheat Codes for Content Creators & Podcasters

[38:34]–[42:26]

• Ask for referrals and don’t be shy about aiming for big guests.
• Make your podcast and content visually appealing and useful for potential guests (e.g., high-quality video, easy-to-share footage).
• Engage meaningfully with people you want to connect with before making the ask.

13. The Role of Delusion in Achieving Big Dreams

[42:26]–[45:44]

• A certain level of “delusion” is necessary to pursue outsized goals.
  • “The barrier to entry is: are you DELULU?” (B, 42:28)
• Big goals are often easier to strategize for, since there are fewer viable paths—so choose and focus.

14. Enjoying the Game and Loving the Suck

[45:44]–[47:55]

• Entrepreneurship, like intense workouts, requires loving the process—including the difficult moments.
  • “The type of working out I do, it's called progressive overload... you're literally pushing your body to the limit every single time, a little bit more. And that's the game of life.” (A, 46:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being honest with yourself:
  • “Your dreams will cost you your old identity.” (A, 45:02)
• On asking for what you want:
  • “You can be spiritual... but if you're not actually taking actions towards your dreams, that's the difference.” (A, 26:09)
• On losing old friends:
  • “You need to be around other people that you're learning and growing from... old friends might even be creating a negative environment for you that's dragging you down.” (A, 15:21)
• On “turning pro”:
  • “Am I acting as if I'm destined to do this? Or am I acting as if I'm safe and I don't really want it?” (A, 21:49)
• On “burning the boats”:
  • “There is something to be said about creating situations where you can’t go back.” (A, 36:35)
• On “DELULU”:
  • “The barrier to entry is: are you DELULU?” (B, 42:28)
• On doubling up time:
  • “Your last episode is the marketing for your future guests.” (A, 39:32)
• On playing the big game:
  • “If your dream isn’t big enough, if you want to make 10k a month... there’s about a million different ways to do that, so how do you land on the one? If you’re trying to make a million a month, there’s only a few paths—that creates more focus.” (A, 31:41)
• On discomfort:
  • “Everything in our lives is an excuse to not do the thing that we believe we're meant to do.” (A, 26:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:16] Cheat code: hiring ex-military/athletes for work ethic
• [04:10] The accountability gap for adults
• [06:53] Building vision, making public commitments
• [10:04] Environments & role models via social media
• [13:34] On family/friends and moving on to new circles
• [16:09] Networking “cheat code”: double up your time
• [18:19] The power of proximity and changing city/circle
• [21:49] The “turning pro” moment
• [24:16] Radical self-honesty; stop waiting for permission
• [28:53] Toe-dipping vs. going all-in
• [38:34] Booking big guests: cheat codes for creators
• [42:26] Are you delusional enough (DELULU) to win?
• [45:44] Loving the process (“the suck”); workout analogies

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Cheat Codes & Actionable Takeaways

• Commit fully: Burning bridges and going “all in” triggers outcomes and support that toe-dipping never will.
• Don’t fear outgrowing old friends—seek new rooms, new mentors, new environments that nurture your future self.
• Invest in yourself (money, time, energy) before you see the return; that’s the only way return happens.
• Build proximity to bigger players and environments that embody your vision.
• “Turning pro” is a mindset you must choose—again and again, every day.
• Leverage efficiency hacks: double up meaningful activities, batch your time, and make every interaction ROI positive.

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Where to Find Kassidy Warren

• Instagram: @kassidywarren (with a K)
• Podcast: For Your Own Good (all platforms)
• Offers: DM for real estate mentorship helping investors build financial independence and live out their vision

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If you want bold, unsparing advice to finally make the leap towards the life you crave, even if it means setting fire to Plan B, this episode will light the match.

Transcript

[A]

When you get into your late 20s, early 30s, you don't have any other accountability. I guess I've always had this blind belief that anything is possible. And I didn't know that. That was like a unique thing and that a lot of people have self doubt. When you're around people that really operate at a higher level, they're going to be able to just pierce your veil and give you the feedback that you need to hear.

[B]

What was in the gap?

[A]

I have a strong belief on. We all are trapped in our own minds and our own hearts and we don't actually do the things that we want to go do. I think there is something to be said, like most people don't have role models. There's a lot of people that don't have role models. That's why social media is so powerful, because it can bring role models to your device. I was delusional. I was delusional about who I was being, how I was operating, and basically the gap between what I said I wanted and my actions not aligning with that.

[B]

Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. I'm your host, Kwame Courtney Johnson, and I am here to un gatekeep the gatekept. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy. Hello, Cassidy.

[A]

Hey, Courtney.

[B]

Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper.

[A]

Slay the Gatekeeper.

[B]

We're slaying some gatekeepers. Cassidy, you're one of those people where I'm like, you've already been on my pod. Like, I see you so much. You're so much in my field that when I was thinking about our podcast episode, I realized it didn't exist.

[A]

Yes, ours, you, me, on me, on yours.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. So I'm happy you're here.

[A]

Thank you. Well, I manifested this. Well, I manifested the first episode right where I had been following you for a long time. And then I started my podcast and I was like, I really want Courtney because you out of anybody on the Internet is like the most authentic, most dial, like providing value.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, for real though, like, there's so many people out there just talking, but you're actually helping people and supporting people and like you're putting out content like crazy. Like crazy. So you've always been an inspiration for me. And when I started my podcast, I was like, I gotta have her on. And that was like, what, like six months ago?

[B]

Yeah, that was last March. Wow.

[A]

And it got about a hundred thousand views on YouTube.

[B]

Yeah, it did really well.

[A]

It did really well.

[B]

I clipped it so many times. It's Great content.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're a great engine. Interviewer.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

We're gonna. We're gonna un. Gatekeep some. Cassidy, are you ready?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so first, before we get into my questions for you and our cheat codes that we're gonna un. Gatekeep, I think what we were talking about before we started rolling is really interesting. Do you wanna share the cheat code, the very controversial cheat code we were just talking about?

[A]

With what?

[B]

Hiring.

[A]

Hiring?

[B]

Yeah. This isn't. This is not your cheat code.

[A]

No, no. Yeah. Because we were talking about how hard it is as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, to even do the thing that they committed to. And so the cheat code is to hire ex military or ex college athletes because they know what work ethic is. They've been held to a higher standard. They have to show up. If they don't show up, they're off the team. If you don't show up for your squadron or battalion. I don't know. I don't know military terms. But if you don't show up for your people, you're out. Right. And so if you can't follow through on your word, then you can't be on the team. And those are the types of people that will actually be able to complete the work that you need.

[B]

Listen, I was not a college athlete and I was not in the military. But the hardest thing I've ever done in my life is Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders training camp. And they run that like the military. That was the best NBA/training/ intense thing I've ever been through in my life. And now I feel like everything else is easy compared to it.

[A]

I think that's why we should do hard things, is because then everything else becomes easier. You as a cheerleader is wild to me.

[B]

I know. It's really funny.

[A]

It's so funny.

[B]

What's the hardest thing you've ever done in your life?

[A]

The hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Well, I'm going through some training right now that is actually like. And. And you were in a different class of it, but I. I would say.

[B]

That'S maybe like a few levels below, but I would compare that to DCC training camp in the rigor and intensity and the pressure.

[A]

The reason it's so hard is because. And this is one of my things that I talk about a lot is when you get into your late 20s, early 30s, you don't have any other accountability other than to yourself. You don't have your parents, you don't have college. You have your job. But most people's bosses and jobs don't hold them really accountable. And you can just go kind of be who you want to be without really being checked or held accountable to what you say you're going to do. Because nobody in your sphere is usually holding you accountable to what you say your dreams are, or what you say you're what you want, or your own standards. And everybody just allows everybody else to slide because everyone's afraid to say, hey, Cassidy, you're not being who you really are. You're not showing up as yourself. You're not showing up and delivering on your dreams that you said you wanted to do. Right. That doesn't happen. So the training that I'm in right now is basically it's like a 10 week bootcamp of accountability like I've never experienced in my life. And the reason it's so hard is because as an adult, you just are not used to other adults and other people holding you accountable to this level of standard.

[B]

How are you going to take that into your own programs and your own coaching?

[A]

Yeah, it's taught me that it's okay to hold other people within your companies, within your organizations, within like your life to those standards. And my wife is going through it. She's going through the beginning and things have already shifted. She's just gone through the little, the little beginning part and our conversations. Cause we run the business together and we do different things. But like our conversations about money and expectations and accountability, they're already better and easier at the same time. So it creates a level of like, well, here's the other piece of it. Most people don't have a dream, most people don't have a vision. Most people are operating on default. They're not designing their life that they want. When you can actually say, this is what I want, this is what I want my dreams to be, this is what I want to accomplish. It gives you a purpose behind your actions. And so then if you struggle with communicating with people about expectations or your feelings or what your needs are, if you have a vision, then you have a purpose and there's the motivation to go have those conversations. But a lot of people don't have the tools or they just don't know how to do it, or they're afraid of pissing people off or they. People please. Or all these different things. Right. And so I, I am going to go into my business unafraid. I'm going to go in with a relentless urgency around helping people and being in my vision. I already, I Got a. I got a studio space. I just signed a lease.

[B]

I saw that. Congratulations. That's. It's so sick. It looks great.

[A]

It's wild because 10 months ago, I was still working as a consultant, right? And I had bought real estate.

[B]

Ten months ago.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Ten months ago. And I had bought real estate, and we had. That was the other hardest part of my life was, you know, five years of just grinding to get out of the trap. But 10 months ago, I was still a consultant. I was still doing corporate work, essentially. And then I made the decision to start my podcast. That was one of the hardest things I ever did, too, was admitting that I wanted to be a podcaster.

[B]

Why is a story that's like. It's douchey or like everyone's doing it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that. Who am I to go help people or talk to people or create something? And in that 10 months, I went all in. And I'm still going all in. And so this studio that I have now, it's just the very beginning. But what it's going to do, one, it's like solidifying my vision, my desires, my dreams, and it's putting money on the line, right? It's putting myself out there. It's saying, this is what I'm going to do. It's saying, I'm a content creator. I'm a content creator. I'm not an engineer. I'm not. But that's my vision, that's my desire, and I had to be really honest with myself. And that's the other thing that people don't do, is they don't put. They don't put money down. They don't put stakes on the line. They don't invest. Right. Especially on the real estate side. A lot of real estate investors, a lot of entrepreneurs that I work with, they want the return first before they invest in something. They want to immediately put some money down and then get the return. I've been investing in myself, really, for the last two and a half years and the last 10 months in the content now in the studio. And I'm continually putting stakes down. I'm continually putting money down. I'm continually investing time, energy and effort, knowing that the return is coming, knowing that the value is there for me and for my listeners and the audience, the community and everything that I'm doing. And it's not just about putting a dollar in and getting $2 out. It's about creating something that's bigger than myself. But you have to have a vision and a purpose to feel the strength and desire to go deal with the resistance that you're gonna feel when you step out of your comfort zone because, you know, to go face your family. Like to go to my wife, who. My wife has been like the rock, the most supportive thing in my life. But I know that most relationships are not that way where the husband or the wife can go look at the other person and say, hey, I wanna go be a content creator. When they got two kids, they got food, they got bills, or whatever dream they have, it's really hard for couples to go look at each other and say, I don't like this life. I want to do something different. It means it's going to cost us some time, energy and effort in the short term, but we're going to be happier and more fulfilled in the long term and probably make more money. But most couples just stay trapped in this cycle of mediocrity because they're not willing or don't feel comfortable saying out loud what their true desires are. So I don't know that was that. I. I have a strong belief on. We all are trapped in our own. Our own minds and our own hearts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we don't actually do the things that we want to go do.

[B]

What's stopping us? Discomfort.

[A]

Discomfort. Some people don't know what's possible. I. I think there is something to be said. Like, most people don't have role models. There's a lot of people that don't have role models. That's why social media is so powerful, because it can bring role models to your device. Right. A lot of the people that I found over the last two and a half years are from social media and they've had huge influences on me. And so a lot of it is people just don't know what's possible because they're impacted by their environment. They don't know that they can go move to a different city and be in a different room, be in a different building, be in a different apartment. And that could change their whole life. Just being in proximity to whoever's in that different city. Right. Like the energy of a city. The energy of an environment. Whatever room you're in, whatever company you're at, like, if you're like, where I was when I was working corporate, the environment was not supportive of being an individual. The environment was not supportive of being your own person and creating something new and doing something different. It was fit in this box. And here's a lot of feedback. Here's a lot of feedback about why you're different and how. Like how to become mediocre. Mediocre in this environment. So it's your environment. It's even having the right people, you know, proximity to the right people. And then it's the. It's your own self worth, self belief, limiting beliefs about who you can become or that you're even worth being able to go pursue something. Right. I've dealt with that. You know who. Like, my dream is to have one of the biggest podcasts and help millions of people become financially free. Like, who am I to do that? Especially in times where I feel like, oh, I don't have any money, like, the. Everything's coming down, the bills are piling up, like, whatever. All these different things every day is a choice to go towards that vision and stand up and say, this is what I believe in. But a lot of people are too, too fearful of putting it out there for fear that it's actually gonna come true. The, the biggest reason that people don't go after their dreams is because they're afraid of who they think they have to become to do that. And then they have to hold that standard of who they have to become. So if I look at some of these, you know, big social media or big podcasters, and I'm just starting out and I'm like, oh, my God, I have to. I have to go get the biggest guests. I have to have a team. I have to spend this much on payroll. I have to show up as a good person. People have to like me, all these things. But you don't like yourself, or you don't feel successful, or you don't make enough money, or you don't know anybody yet. You're going to say, I can't hold that standard. This is the thoughts that have gone through my head. This is a lot of thoughts that go through. People that want to do something with their lives, they're afraid to hold the standard of that new version of themselves. What does that world look like? Right? Look at you. You were Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, now you got podcasts, you're helping people, you gotta show up, you're doing your content challenge, you're doing all this stuff. You have to do things differently than you've done before, but now that's who you are. And so the gap between who people are right now and their future self, there's. There's this fear of how do they then become that version and hold that standard.

[B]

I think another big fear people have is their family and friends judging them. Who do you think you are? I Think there's also this quiet shame that people carry if they're more successful than people around them, if they're more successful than anyone that's come before them in their family, they feel almost bad about it or shameful about it.

[A]

Yeah. My. My friends and family, there was none of the, oh, why are you doing this? Or you can't do it. There was none of that. There just hasn't really been any talk about it. Nobody's really said anything to me. There's no. It's not good or bad. And so that tells me a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. I love my family. I love my friends. I have a new group and new rooms that I'm in and new friends and new colleagues and new business partners. And I'm still very close with my family, but it's just different. There's just a silence about what I'm doing. I don't know if any of my friends have listened to any of my episodes of my podcast or watched any of my YouTube videos or done anything. I haven't heard anything about it. They might be listening, they might be watching, but hey, yeah, but that's not for me. I'm not making it for them. I mean, I am in a way, because I want them to get benefit from what I'm sharing, but I can't allow other people's expectations of me to stop me from being my most authentic self and doing what I want to do.

[B]

This is a really, really mean advice, but I think the majority of people in the world, in order to get to their dream, probably have to lose 80% of people that are in their circle right now. 100%, if not more.

[A]

100%. Yeah. Yeah. There's very few, and I love all of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's where this advice gets, like, confused. Like, people that haven't gone through this or gone through a hard thing of, like, transforming yourself, it. It sounds like we're saying, you know, like flipping off our old friends or saying you or whatever. But, like, what we're saying is when you start to grow, you need to be around other people that are growing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You need to be around other people that you're learning and growing from, and. And your old friends and your old, you know, people that you spent time with, they're probably not doing that, and they might even creating. Be creating a negative environment for you that's actually dragging you down. There's the analogy of the bucket of crabs, where if you got a big bucket of crabs and one of the crabs tries to get out of the bucket. All the other crabs will grab it and pull it back down into the bucket. And that's just their nature. That's just their nature. There's. They're not doing it intentionally or out of malice or whatever, but that's their nature. And you can still love your old group of friends, but when you step into the fullest version of yourself, you will need new people, a new environment, and you will love them just as much. You will be connected, you will get benefit. Like this is the way it works.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I find it really hard because somebody will reach out from like 10 years ago and be like, hey, do you want to grab a coffee on like a Tuesday afternoon? How do I explain? Well, it's not really ROI positive for me, actually. I would be losing a lot of money to take a half day off of work to like drive all the way downtown to get a coffee with this random person who just wants to pick my brain. And it's like not valuable to me. You know, like these, these situations come up. Actually a solution I have to. This is co working anytime people want to hang out or pick my brain over coffee or I want to have a relationship with someone, but it's like really not a good use of my time. For like one on one, I'm like, just come cowork.

[A]

Yeah. My, my mentor, Dan Martell, he does a couple things. He's really mastered this. He has his Tuesday morning hike. Every Tuesday morning he does a founder's hike. So if you want to pick his brain, if you don't do anything, come to the hike. Right. And then the other thing he does is he'll record that and they'll create content out of that so that whatever questions he's being asked gets shared broadly across social media. So it's not just a one on one conversation that never gets to see the light of day. It's someone that's getting direct one on one. And there's a common weekly thing where people can show up and it's a filter. Will you show up at 6am to have this conversation with me and to hike and to hike and to get mic'd up and to get. Well, yeah, and they, they, you know, they don't mic everybody up, but like they have the mics on the cameras, but that. And that's what I do. So if people want to meet or do one on one, I do have a filter. You know, there's different questions I'll ask depending on what they're doing or I ask them to go find A piece of information. It's not just a yeah, I'll meet up with you or create different areas or venues for people to connect with you.

[B]

Okay, so I'm hearing a cheat code here. So the cheat code is we are maximizing our time. So we're having. We're having at least two things in one. Right. It could be a workout and catching up with friends. It could be you're creating content and engaging in real life with your community. Like putting at least two tasks together. So you're doubling up and not just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Willy nilly, spending your time. Yeah. Dan is the king of time allocation and energy allocation.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Time and energy allocation. He is like on another level.

[B]

It's crazy. Yeah, he's awesome.

[A]

Yeah, he's incredible. He changed my life. So.

[B]

Okay, so a couple of other cheat codes I'm hearing. One is proximity is power 100%. You gotta get out of your hometown.

[A]

You have move right now. Yeah. You know what's funny is I grew up in the East Bay area, Concord, California. And everyone from Concord. It's not bad. There's nothing wrong with it, but my wife grew up in Billings, Montana. And you would think that they're very different, but actually like the culture and the, like, the, the energy in the cities is very similar. And. And I won't go back and live there. Right. I've got friends, I've got some people there that I love. But me being in Kirkland, Washington now, and I spent time in San Diego, Austin, New York, the reason I go to San Diego, Austin, New York so much is because the energy is alive. The connections, the network, the events, the like, the people that want to help. Like this exists outside of your current situation. Right. Like go live in a small apartment in a big city or wherever the energy is, because you will undoubtedly meet and run into people that are going to be the people that introduce you to the people that like make your dreams come true. Right. Usually the current city you're in is not the one that is going to allow or create your dreams to happen. And pay to get into rooms.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People are so afraid of spending money, especially in the beginning. I've spent over $200,000 on coaching mentorships programs in the last two years. And it has accelerated my ability to go accomplish my goals. Right. And so as soon as I get into these rooms and they're just WhatsApp chats or, you know, whatever, but you pay to get into these rooms, you immediately accelerate your learning, your network, your access to people like, some of the biggest names I've had on my podcast are because I got into those rooms and I was the small fish in the big pond. I don't want to be the smartest person in the room. I want to be around people that are making millions and millions and millions of dollars and that know how to do it and are willing to share and willing to connect. And you learn new ways of being when you're around that energy. I took a private jet with Dan as part of his program, and I learned so much just by being around Dan on the jet and going around and watching him operate and seeing the speed at which he executes. And then the thing that I learned, too, through a conversation with him was I wanted all this stuff. I wanted these things. I wanted the jet, I want the cars, I want the. To be on social media. But I really was not all in. I really was not all in. And it took one conversation on that jet with Dan for me to realize that. I thought I was giving it everything. I thought I was doing what was required to go accomplish everything I wanted. But when you're around people that really operate at a higher level, they're going to be able to just pierce your veil and give you the feedback that you need to hear. What was in the gap that I was delusional, basically. I was delusional about who I was being, how I was operating, and basically the gap between what I said I wanted and my actions not aligning with that. It wasn't a shame. It wasn't. It was like, look, Cassidy, if you say you want all this stuff and that you're. You want to do this, just fundamentally, you're not doing that. And so I left.

[B]

Why were you not moving fast enough? Was it not like, what was the gap tangibly, or was it in your way of being?

[A]

I was. Yeah, it was my way of being. I was. I was both. It was. I wasn't moving fast enough, and it was my way of being. I was not all in. I. I was relying on an old version of myself and some old successes, but I wasn't actually risking anything. I was still playing it safe. I hadn't really. I hadn't started my podcast at that point. I hadn't really gone all in on content. I didn't really have a business. It was just. I was just kind playing pretend at that point. And so he really brought a lot of that to light. And it was on that trip, and I just. I saw how he operated and how he treated people and, And. And what it took and how much time and effort and energy he spent with his people and the way he thought. And so that, that really highlighted, okay, I do believe I'm good enough to get there. I do believe that I can do this. But I see, I see where the gap is now. And so that was, that was a moment of turning pro. And there's a book called Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield. That was a moment. Turning pro. Starting my podcast was a moment of turning pro. Then doing the live podcast with Dan in New York was a moment of turning pro. Getting in the studio is another moment of turning pro. And so there's all these moments where if you're honest with yourself, you can say, am I a pro? Am I acting as like a professional would, or am I acting as an amateur? Right. Am I acting as if I'm destined to do this? Or am I acting as if I'm safe and I don't really want it? Am I acting as if it's inevitable? In this moment, what decision am I making that's in alignment with my future self? Right. So I go throughout my day, like, literally asking myself these questions, like in not every moment, but a lot of moments, what would my future self do? Am I in alignment with that? What would he do in this moment? What decision would he make? Am I acting in urgency? Am I hiding? Am I pretending not to know the answer? Usually we're pretending not to know something. We go out and we ask everybody and we rely on other people and like, what are we doing? Or what am I doing? What should I do? What should I do? And it's great to call for support, but at some point you know the answer in your gut. And usually all it is picking up the phone and asking for help, posting that thing on social media, like spending the money on the program, like, you know what you need to do. Your gut is very smart. Your body is very in tune with your dreams and it will tell you exactly what you should be doing. And that question of, like, what are you pretending not to know? Is a huge, like, question to ask yourself every day.

[B]

That's so powerful. Your body, your gut already knows. It already wants your dream and it's leading you there. If you listen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you stop outsourcing your decision making.

[A]

Yeah. There's all these, there's all these people that live in cities like Sedona and Marfa and Jackson Hole, like these healer types. I think a lot of it is bullshit.

[B]

Me too. Even though I'm pretty woo woo.

[A]

I am too. And I believe in like, like being in tune with your body. But there's so many people that live in these cities that are these healer types and the crystals and the mushroom. A lot of them are using their healing and their, their words and their language and their perceived value to their bodies and their clients. They're hiding from, like, their true purpose and they go into these small towns because they're hiding from society and they're afraid to come out and actually go get something done. Your post on the healer community I thought was spot on. And I'm coaching someone that lives in Sedona. She's starting to actually make change for herself and she's even noticing, oh, yeah. All these people around me who I thought were like, really spiritual and really aligned. There's a lot of criticism, there's a lot of hate. There's a lot of stuff that I didn't expect. And I was like, yeah, because you're, you're a reflection of their own insecurities. So even these people that are healers and in tune with your body. Right. A lot of it's procrastination, a lot of it's delay. It's so easy to go do yoga in the morning. Yeah, it's so easy to go do mushrooms. Like, because you like doing drugs, it's helpful, it's beneficial. But like, if they're honest with themselves, a lot of it is just like a way for them to continue to like, do drugs and like, do yoga and do all this stuff throughout the day.

[B]

I have a friend that when she is struggling with the decision, she says, let me go bufo about it. I'm like, you're gonna take DMT to decide if you should, like, break up with your boyfriend? Like, off. Like, you don't need to. Yeah, people go overboard.

[A]

They go overboard. Yeah. They're too reliant on, on everything. I'm like, I think it can help a lot of people. Like, it's very helpful. But if that's all you're doing and you're not actually taking actions towards your dreams, that's, that's the difference is like, you can be spiritual, you can be in tune with your body. Sometimes you do need rest. I'm a big proponent of rest. Like, I'm a, I'm a go get shit done and like, have fun doing it. And I also am a big proponent of resting and paying attention to your body. But I think there's a line or there's like, if, if you're not making money or in the pursuit or Reinvesting in yourself and building something. Like, spend 30 days, 60 days of just, like, focusing on your dream and your visions.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, don't, like, get rid of the morning routine. Like, go try something new. Go try a different way of being. And if you're really honest with yourself, how much of what you're doing is a distraction from who you have to be. And that phone call that you have to make. I'm serious. Honestly, most people are, like, one phone call away from, like, really living their dream, but we're too afraid to ask for what we want. And then we hide behind all these things. We hide behind our jobs. We hide behind our morning routines. We hide behind our kids. Everything in our lives is a distraction, and everything in our lives is an excuse to not do the thing that we believe we're meant to do. All this stuff that I'm talking about, Courtney, it's because I've lived it. I've experienced it. This is all me being as honest with myself as I can be. Everything in my life was a distraction or an excuse. Everything was to distract me away from the fact that I wasn't living the life that I wanted to live. And I was disappointed in myself, in the man that I became. I was disappointed in the husband that I became. I was disappointed in the brother, the son that I became. I was an angry, frustrated, like, angry old man at, like, 30 years old, basically. And, like, it was the last person that I had wanted to become. And so then through all this work, it's like, oh, it's because I was really dissatisfied with where I'd gotten to in life. Despite following the plan, I had done everything that was expected of me, but I realized that I wasn't doing it for myself. I was doing it for other people. And so, of course, I'm dissatisfied because I'm grinding and spending all my energy, all my time, all my effort on someone else's thing, and they don't care about me. And I'm getting upset. I don't know how to regulate my emotions. I started drinking too much. Right. Became an alcoholic, and seven and a half years sober now. But, like, drinking drugs, all, like, most of that is. Is a distraction away from your own dissatisfaction with your life. And once you take accountability and responsibility for that and how you respond to that, things change. But we spend time just avoiding, like, the thing that we actually want to do.

[B]

What would you tell the toe dippers? You know, the toe dippers? I'm just gonna dip my toe and see how I feel. I'm gonna dip my toe in my dream. I'm gonna dip my toe into entrepreneurship, dipping my toe into real estate. But what would you tell the toe dippers?

[A]

You're lying to yourself. You're lying to yourself that you really want it. The universe rewards people that go all in. The people around you, the universe, the energy, whatever, responds to commitment, responds to conviction, responds to confidence, responds to momentum. Dipping a toe is not momentum. Dipping a toe is a lack of commitment. Nobody wants to work with you if you're dipping a toe. Nobody wants to help you or support you. And what you need to realize is that the only way that you're going to be successful is if you can bring people on board with your vision and what you want to do. You need clients, you need support, you need an assistant. Like you need all this stuff. You need people to support your dreams. And that's really the disconnect. When you dip your toe, you're telling other people that you don't care about them enough to get in the water. You're asking everyone else to go jump in the pool and go swim a huge race, but you're not even willing to, to get in at all. And so there's no way that anyone's going to take you seriously if all you're doing is dipping your toe. And so the universe rewards those that go all in. Bottom line. And the crazy thing, and this has happened over and over and over again when I finally decide to go all in or do the thing that I'm hiding from or that I'm pretending not to know, when I put it out there, when I speak it out loud, it's almost immediate that the universe responds and gives me what I was asking for. Right. And that's what I tell people. But they're just too scared to get in the water.

[B]

Yeah, I find that a lot too. I find a lot of fear. I feel like for me there's just never been another option other than being crazy and being.

[A]

I don't know, I think I've been.

[B]

Crazy my whole life. So I want to have more empathy or really like see where people are coming from. Have you always been delusional?

[A]

Yeah, but I, I either masked it or took feedback about how I was being and, and like changed who I was. And I guess I've always had this blind belief that anything is possible. And I didn't know that that was like a unique thing and that a lot of people have self doubt and, and I think things came easier to me in general too. So that didn't help my, like, blind belief that anything was possible. So I don't know. Yeah, I, I have oper. I operate with the idea that anything is possible.

[B]

Same.

[A]

Yeah. And that actually if you're, if what you're trying to accomplish is bigger, there's less ways to do it, which creates more focus. Right. So if you're, if your dream isn't big enough, if you want to make 10k a month, there's actually like a really easy way to go do that. There's some simple math. There's like, that's a pretty straightforward thing to go make 10k a month. But there's like about a million different ways to do that. And so how do you land on the one that's gonna work for you? It's. I think it's harder to figure that out. If you're trying to make a million dollars a month, there's only a few paths that will probably work to do that. And so it allows you to be like, all right, I can either do this or this. I'm gonna go focus on one of these paths until successful. Right. And so the bigger your vision, you know, I know people say the easier it is, the simpler it becomes because there's less ways of getting there. But you're gonna have to be a little delusional because it means that you're gonna have to elevate yourself to like go do those things. Right? The, the analogy is if you're trying to walk across or if you're trying to get across the street, you're gonna walk. If you're trying to go across town, you're gonna take an Uber, a car. If you're trying to go from New York to la, you're gonna, you're gonna fly, right? But if you're trying to get across the street or across town, there's about five different ways that you could do that. To get from New York to la, you can fly. That's like your only option, really. And so when you have less options, you have more focus on what you're trying to do.

[B]

What would you say to the listeners that might be like, yeah, Cassidy, Courtney, that's great for y', all, but you're. I'm different. I'm different. I don't think this will work for me. You don't understand. I'm from this really small town and I have a full time job and my situation, I can't take any risks. I can't follow my dreams. Because I know somebody's thinking that right now 100% and I'm calling you out, listener.

[A]

I. I started out as an engineer making, like, $50,000 a year. But I took responsibility for all of my work. I took responsibility for the outcomes that I could create. And I knew I figured out how to play the game, especially in corporate. But I also said, I'm not satisfied with making this money. I'm not satisfied with where I'm at with my friends, this fulfillment. And I made a decision. I took responsibility for my life at every moment that I could. And so when you say I'm different and my job and the city I live in and my kids, you are giving your power away to everybody else, and you're disempowering yourself from actually being able to do what you want. I. I've had this thing like, we are all special, and we're not special. We are not unique. We're all unique. And guess what? We're not unique. Someone has done what you want to do, right? Courtney? There's a bunch of. I mean, I know you're. You're unique, you're special, but there's a bunch of Courtneys out on the Internet, too, right? But guess what? You're still doing it. And so there's just some level of excuses or level of reasons. And as soon as you can recognize that you are turning yourself into a victim of your circumstances versus empowering yourself, that's when, like, if you can shift your mind to say, I take ownership and responsibility for every single thing in my life, extreme ownership, extreme accountability for every single thing in my life. And you will then start to recognize in each moment where you can make a difference and make a change and decide to do something different. And at the same time, when you do that, everything else around you changes. Your whole family, your boss, your job, everyone starts to elevate when you decide to take extreme ownership of your situation, because everybody lowers themselves to the standards that are set. And usually the standards are set very low. But if you can raise the standard or if you can take accountability for your situation, that changes everything around you. And I guarantee you, it happens so much faster than you think. So to the people that are living in middle of nowhere, small town, it's really very simple. You have to just say, this is what I want to do. I don't care what it is. I know this guy's name is Blake Schmitz. He's a young cowboy farmer out in. I think it's Minnesota. It might be Wisconsin. And guess what? He's a country singer on Spotify, and he Farms right now, but he creates. He's a country singer. No one else in his area sings. But he decided at, like, 18 years old that this is what he was gonna go do. And so Blake is on Spotify, and he's gonna be huge. He needs to commit. And I talked to him, but he needs to go even further. But he decided that, like, he doesn't want to be the farmer for the rest of his life and that he's in control of his situation, and everybody's in control. So that's. Yeah.

[B]

So you think we should burn the bridges behind us.

[A]

Yeah. That's the same thing as, like, dipping the toe or not. Like, there is something to be said about creating situations where you can't go back, because when we have safety and security of our salary, of our home, of our beds, of our fa, like, we've created these comfortable lives. And so people that make anywhere from 150 to $250,000, I think, are in actually a worse position than people that, like, make less because they've created this comfort. They make just enough money to have the car and the house and the kids. They go out to. They can go out to eat. They can get guac at Chipotle, you know, and not think about it. Right. But it doesn't create the urgency and the desire to do something more. You've, quote, unquote, made it if you can afford a car and the home and all that, but if you can burn the boats and say, I'm going all in and do a Jerry Maguire, you know, and you go in, you quit.

[B]

And, like, did you have a dramatic exit?

[A]

Not a dramatic one, no.

[B]

That would be cool.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, we did quit our jobs to go live in the van, and. But no, there was no. Well, okay, the. Cause. I quit two times. So in. In January, they. I basically just. I texted him, and I dropped. I dropped the equipment off that same morning. I didn't know. Two weeks. And then I took a picture of me smiling, dropping the equipment off. What? And I sent it into him.

[B]

Wait, you didn't give. Two weeks.

[A]

No, because they didn't treat me with respect. Yeah.

[B]

If they're like, yeah, not great people, that's fine.

[A]

But there was a couple great people there. The company as a whole, the culture was very toxic and political.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they treated me, like, absolutely terribly. It was affecting my mental health, like, the way that they were treating me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was affecting my ability to go, like, create what I wanted to go create. And so I. I quit. And within Two weeks I had started my podcast and, and then went on this World One tour and like, have. Have not stopped and have not looked back.

[B]

Do you have any cheat codes around booking really big guests on your podcast? You've had just like, amazing guests, including me.

[A]

Yes. Well, one, ask for referrals. So if I know that someone that I know knows somebody, you can't be afraid to ask. So number one, just you can't be afraid to ask. I think a lot of podcasters stop at their friend groups or like very just, you know, close proximity because they're too afraid to ask or they don't believe that they can get the bigger guess or what are they going to do? And, you know, and so ask for referrals, ask for direct connections. So that's how I got thatch Mikey. And then with Dan and Rich and some others, like, I'm in the communities, but you still have to ask. Dan and Rich, the two of my mentors, they have hundreds, if not thousands of people with within their communities. I'm one of the only people that they've ever done podcasts with.

[B]

Yeah, probably one of the only ones that have asked.

[A]

Exactly. Because I might be the only one that have asked. The other thing to do is create a product that when they go look at, they're like, yeah, I want to be on that. So take it seriously. Turn pro. Have high quality video, have high quality audio, do some editing. Don't. Don't make it look like it's in your basement. Right. Because your last episode is the marketing for your future guests. So whatever episode you put out last, or the recent ones or the big ones, those are the ones that you need to reference so that it's attractive to someone to want to say yes. Right. Do. Do whatever you can to try to get views, to hack the system. Right. Like, you have to be attractive to someone that wants to be on your show. The other thing, just tactically is DM on Instagram also, you can warm them up by being in their comments, replying to their stories, reacting, messaging them. Right. And so they get to know you and see who you are on. On social media, they're aware of your name. Like, whether you believe it or not. Like, if you're commenting and liking and responding and interacting with them on a regular basis, they will remember who you are. And so then go, go make the ask and also make it as easy as possible. And the ask, DM or email or whatever you're doing should not be long. It should be very short. It should be like hey, I'm going to be in your area or whatever. Like, let's make this happen. Here's. Here's my episode that did really well. And this is my idea that I have for us to talk. Right. If you come with some level of, like, you're gonna take care of everything, then it's gonna be easier to get them on.

[B]

Totally. And if you're giving them really great content.

[A]

Exactly. Oh, that's the other thing is like, have your clips perform like, as best you can. I also give everyone my footage. So, like, there's someone in town. Brian. Brian Lubin. We've done a couple podcasts and I give him all the, all the footage and he has a editing team, so he can take all that and create all his own short form. So it's this idea of like adding value into people's lives. You're not taking anything you want to add value. And so I mentioned a couple of those things. Right. I film in person, 4k only you get all the footage. Here's some examples of like, what we've done. Like, Dan's episode has done almost 300,000 views on YouTube.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Congrats. That's awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does that put you in monetization zone?

[A]

Your video got us monetized.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Yeah. Your eight minute clip on LinkedIn got. So we put the whole episode up. The eight minute clip is what got us monetized. And then. And then. Yeah, we've been. I mean, the money that we're making is definitely not covering.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How much it costs to travel all over the country. But soon. Yes. And this is what I want to do. Right. And honestly, like, Netflix is pouring into. Into podcasters. I'm like, there's a self doubt in my head that's like, oh, no, I can do that. But then I'm like, why couldn't I?

[B]

Of course you could.

[A]

Yeah, I know, right?

[B]

Of course you could.

[A]

I know. Right. Like, why not?

[B]

Why not? So literally, why not? Like, there's so few people that have delusion that the barrier to entry is not. Oh, you have 40 years of experience in podcasting. The barrier to entry is. Are you DELULU?

[A]

Exactly. Because 99% of people are staying in mediocrity, right. If you just go do interesting shit. So I do live events, I do live podcasts. Dan, we had 200 people there. I've done other ones in New York where we had 20 people in the audience. And when you go do interesting stuff and you do things a little bit differently, people take notice. Like people Take notice when you're not being mediocre. And getting my studio, part of what I'm doing is to go just, like, prove that I can do it and show people what's possible. I'm a fricking engineer that was designing substations and power lines and that sort of stuff. And I said, I'm gonna go be a podcaster. And the other thing I do is I invest in real estate. But, like, I want to go help people live their dream lives, and I want to show people what's possible. That's my biggest passion, is to, like, show people what's possible. And that means that I get to push myself to the limits, like, every moment of every single day to be like, what can I do? That's really just gonna, like, inspire people to be their best selves and to go live their dreams. And so that's part of my drive and part of my purpose. I also want to connect. So this podcast studio, we're gonna do live events, we're gonna, like, teach, we're gonna do so much stuff, and it just opens up so, so many things. But if you're a podcaster, content creator, like, go do interesting stuff and just add as much value into the world as you possibly can.

[B]

Yeah. I think your. Your advice around, not you wanna be delusional, right. But you also get to get feedback if your delusion is not getting you where you want to go. And I think there are probably a lot of people listening to this saying, well, I post twice a week. It's just a matter of time before something goes viral, and then I'll. I'll blow up and I'm doing enough. Or maybe I'm taking action on my goals. I have my side hustle outside of my 9 to 5. And I do think it's really important to understand that the cheat code is go all the fuck in and burn every bridge if you truly want it. Totally. Dipping a toe can maybe get you some experience, maybe you can learn something, but it will not get you to your dream unless you fully, fully commit.

[A]

Yeah, your. Your dreams will cost you your old identity, right?

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Yeah, it costs you your old identity, right? I look and act and am so different than I used to be. And I'm so grateful that I've gone all in. It also just opens up your eyes to, like, how the world works a little bit. And like, oh, yeah, sometimes there are two kinds of people. Sometimes, you know, like, oh, this is how I need to learn to influence more. Or, and it's a game like, it's fun. Yes. There's, like, lots of stuff to do and there's leadership and, like, all that, but it's fun. Like, we don't get to have fun anymore.

[B]

Yeah, this. I think it's fun.

[A]

This is fun.

[B]

Entrepreneurship is really fun for me.

[A]

It's really fun.

[B]

Even when it sucks. Yeah, and it sucks kind of a lot, but it's still fun when it sucks. You kind of have to start to, like, the suck. Like, enjoy when it's really hard. Like a hard workout.

[A]

Yes. I love working out.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I know. Honestly, it's my. It's such a great analogy. Lifting weights and working out is such a great analogy for life.

[B]

Well, also that it's easier to go 100% than 99. Like, if you're going into a workout being like, ugh, I don't really want to do this. Whatever, it's gonna to suck if you're like, this is going to be so much fun. It's going to be so much fun. It's just a difference of 1%.

[A]

And that 1% is usually, like, where all the results are too. Like, and actually with lifting weights, that's literally where the results are, is that last 1% every single time. And the. It's so funny. The. The. The type of working out I do, it's called progressive overload or hypertrophy, where you literally lift a little bit more every single time or an extra rep every single time. And what that means is there's no easy days because you're literally pushing your body to the limit every single time. A little bit more. And so last time you were at the limit, but you're a little bit stronger this week, so you're going a little bit further. So you're, like, always at the limit. But it's so fun, especially, and this is what I tell people with lifting or working out is like, you should try to transform your body. You're not really going and doing anything unless you try to transform your body. And that's the game of life for all of us, is we should be trying to transform ourselves in our actions and our daily habits and the things that we're doing. Just like at the gym, if you look about the same, I get that you go to Orange Theory or Barry's or F45 and you feel a certain way after, because that was me. I felt like, oh, my gosh, I just crushed this. And it's insane. But my wife and I looked at each other after doing it for like a year. We're like, hey, do we look any different? No, we didn't.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so then that's when we switched to actually doing, like, lifting weights and transforming our bodies. And both of us have gone through, like, kind of an insane transformation, really. And so if you're not. If your life doesn't look any different, but you're doing all these things, like, ask yourself why? What can you do to actually transform yourself in pursuit of your dreams and the things that you want to do?

[B]

So powerful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is so great. Well, I'm very inspired to burn even more bridges and go even more all in. You're so amazing, Cassidy. Thank you for coming on the pod.

[A]

We're done?

[B]

Yes, we're done.

[A]

Oh, man. All right, great. This is great, Courtney. Thank you.

[B]

I know that went by so quick.

[A]

We didn't even talk about real estate.

[B]

We didn't talk about real estate.

[A]

No. And that's okay.

[B]

But do you want to come back for a part two? Yeah, we'll talk about real estate. Well, Cassidy, how can people find you, connect with you, work with you, and get coached by you?

[A]

Yep. I'm on Instagram. That's the best place to get a hold. I'm Cassidy Warren. That's Cassidy with a kid. If you DM me, it is me. If I DM you, that's also me. But, yeah, I have a program where I help people invest in the right type of real estate to create their dream life. Right. I think real estate is the way, at least for me, that's what it did, was to give you a platform of financial independence so you can go live the life that you want to live. It gets you out of whatever trap, whatever situation that you're in, and most people just don't know how or they don't know the right type of real estate to buy. And I make sure that you buy something that's going to make you a lot of money and you can go live your dream life. So, yeah, DM me. Contact me there. And then my podcast is called for your own good. It's on all the platforms, and then YouTube is just my name.

[B]

It's so good. Go listen. Especially my episode.

[A]

Yeah. Well, thank you, Courtney. This is so great.

[B]

Thank you.