Slay The Gatekeeper: "Un-Gatekeeping ADHD"

Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Dani Donovan (Creator of The Anti-Planner)
Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Episode Overview

Courtney Johnson hosts creator and ADHD advocate Dani Donovan for a deep-dive into "un-gatekeeping" actionable ADHD coping strategies. The conversation blends storytelling, vulnerable truths, and rapid-fire "cheat codes"—Dani’s framework for creative and self-compassionate productivity. They discuss building effective routines, battling perfectionism, how to gamify tasks, using playful language, and why no single system is universal for neurodivergent minds.

Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dani’s Background & Origin of The Anti-Planner (01:27–05:48)

• Dani’s Background: 10–15 years as a graphic designer. Began sharing ADHD comics on Twitter (2018), which resonated widely due to relatable, under-discussed themes.
• Found success by sharing vulnerable stories, building an authentic audience via social listening and self-reflection.
• The Anti-Planner was crafted as a response to neurotypical tools that didn’t work:

  “We deserve nice shit… so many of us who struggle with that stuff have not felt like we have been had tools developed for us because we're trying to use tools that were developed by neurotypicals…” — Dani (04:59)

• Success Metric: Over 75,000 copies sold via direct pre-orders, with community feedback baked in.

2. Body Doubling & the Power of Accountability (05:48–09:48)

• Body Doubling Cheat Code: Regular virtual co-working (“body doubling”) establishes structure and combats ADHD isolation.

• Dani: “Body doubling is so, so helpful, particularly when it comes to stuff that I've been putting off. Something about having someone else there, even… makes me feel that, like, not alone feeling.” (06:40)

• Courtney shares hosting paid accountability co-working sessions as both support and a personal motivator.

• Avoidance Murder Party: Dani describes a weekly session with her coach for tackling avoided tasks, using playful language:

  “Instead of checking them off… you get to stab it with your pencil… It’s gratifying.” — Dani (07:38)

3. The Importance of Naming and Playfulness (09:15–10:22)

• Giving “boring” tasks creative, fun names (e.g., "money date" or "writing coven") adds whimsy, making activities less dull and easier to approach.
• Naming creates an organized “container” for tasks, reducing rumination.

4. Task Containers, Rituals, & Microhabits (10:22–13:43)

• Using containers (e.g., the “Friday murder party”) prevents tasks from floating in the mental landscape, turning to-dos into manageable rituals.
• Personal Off-sites and Switching It Up: Courtney and Dani advocate for changing environments (Airbnb retreats, cafes, libraries) as a way to reset intention.
• Creating a special context transforms work into an event, uses novelty for motivation.

5. Task Adjacency & Lowering the Bar (14:15–16:12)

• Task Adjacency: If you can’t start a dreaded chore, “stand next to it doing nothing” until boredom or momentum kicks in.
• Lowering expectations (e.g., “just walk out the door,” “open the client’s website”) makes starting easier and reduces shame.
• Dani: “Choosing to show up and exercise, however small it is, is what actually matters.” (16:12)

6. Permission to Be Bad & Building Habits (18:31–21:54)

• Normalize bad first attempts (“give yourself permission to do it badly,” “shitty first draft”).
• Dani shares her practical mirror notecard:

  “I will work on TikTok every day. I will move my body every day… it’s just like, I opened up the app and I did something in the app every day.” (19:43)

• Micro-habits build consistency without the pressure of perfection.

7. Gamifying Tasks and Addressing the WHY of Procrastination (21:54–24:10)

• Not every problem is solved with the same “hammer”; identify why a task is hard (“boring”, “intimidating”, “hopeless”) to pick the right tactic.
• Gamification works best for boredom. If insecurity is the block, first address feelings before getting playful.

8. Breaking Down Overwhelm—“Next Physical Action” (24:23–29:45)

• Dani echoes David Allen (Getting Things Done):

  “What is the next thing you need to do… that you can often do within under 20 minutes? If it takes more than 10 minutes, it's not small enough.” (26:58)

• Use granular checklists, outline tools (Notion, Todoist), or physical note cards to break projects into “bare-minimum” steps.

• Courtney: “When I make a subtasks, the subtasks are literally like, open my computer, open my Gmail app, open that email, read the email…” (26:58)

• Quality via Quantity: Share of the “photography class” parable—Quantity breeds excellence, not overthinking one “perfect” piece. (27:10–28:33)

9. Content Creation, Perfectionism, and Riding Motivation Waves (29:45–32:35)

• Most viral or breakthrough content (social posts, videos) is impulsive or emotional, not planned or scripted.
• Dani: “People just want to know what’s real and true… You have to just stop caring so much and just move.” (32:35)
• Rely on systems for capturing spontaneous ideas; batch process when you have bandwidth.

10. Perfectionism, the Minimum Viable Step & Must/Nice to Haves (35:17–39:35)

• Advise clients and self to identify the “absolute tiniest, minimum viable product version” of a project, e.g., a single text or two-sentence post.
• Dani: “How to half-asset”—list must-haves vs. nice-to-haves, then do musts first and decide if you care about extras afterward.
• Courtney: “What you don't need… you don't need breakout rooms, you don't need branding...” (37:50)

11. The Myth of One-True-System & Embracing Change (39:35–42:10)

• There is no “forever” productivity system—novelty is natural and should be harnessed.

• "What if instead of trying to find a system, your system is that you have a hundred systems… flipping back and forth based on what you need in the moment." — Dani (39:35)

• Adopt a flexible mindset, evaluate what serves in the present instead of seeking a universal fix.

12. Micro-Steps, One-Better-Choice, & Eliminating Shame (42:10–45:22)

• “One better choice” mindset—make small, positive changes without pressure (order a medium soda instead of large; pick up a piece of trash instead of leaving it).

• Shame sabotages progress—replace it with celebration of micro-wins.

• Dani: “No amount of coping skills and no amount of meds are going to make you not have ADHD anymore… play the cards you're dealt. Not be like, I want a different game, though, and new cards.” (45:22)

13. Insecurity & Identifying the Real Critics (47:12–50:35)

• Cheat code: specifically name whose judgment you fear. Is it your own or someone else’s?
• Dani: “If I am hurt… it’s because I secretly believe that about myself… But if you're a basketball player and you're seven feet tall and someone comes up to you and tries to tell you you're short… you don't believe them.” (47:59)
• Negative comments usually reflect the critic’s reality, not your worth.

14. The Taste Gap & “Teaching One Rung Down” (51:16–54:42)

• Ira Glass quote: If your art disappoints you, it’s probably because your taste exceeds your current ability—and that’s good.
• Document not perfection: share your step in the journey, help “the person one rung below you on the ladder.”
• Courtney: “You want to share about coding, but it's day one of your coding boot camp...you can share how you got into the coding bootcamp, why you chose it, what you're learning..." (52:50)
• Vulnerability (talking about why you were afraid to start) inspires others stuck in the same spot.

15. Language, Therapy Speak, and Avoiding "Shoulds" (54:49–57:13)

• Deliberate avoidance of black-and-white language (“should,” “have to,” “need to”). Replace with: "If you wanted to, you could try…"
• Dani: “Giving someone their agency back… instead of saying: ‘this is what you should do and if you don't, you're doing it wrong.’” (55:41)
• Over-apologizing addressed with humor to break reflexive shame.

16. “First Draft, Worst Draft” & Combating Perfectionism (57:13–58:12)

• Adopt the “First draft, worst draft” label at the top of any project for permission to be messy and incomplete.

• “It should be bad. It's got the word 'worst' in it.” — Dani (57:13)

17. The Ta-Da List: Celebrating Micro-Wins (58:37–60:56)

• Final Cheat Code: Instead of a to-do list, keep a “Ta-Da List” of all you’ve finished, no matter how small.

• “A lot of times I would… sit down halfway through the day, I’m eating lunch, and will just type out: took a shower, took my meds, texted my mom back … They don’t have to be big tasks, because sometimes you get to the end of the day and it’s like, ‘Oh, my God, I didn’t do anything.’” — Dani (58:46)

• The act of tracking micro-accomplishments builds motivation and self-recognition.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "We deserve nice shit." — Dani, on inclusive tools (04:59)
• “Naming things is so much fun and it makes it so much fun to do.” — Courtney (09:15)
• "Choosing to show up and exercise, however small it is, is what actually matters." — Dani (16:12)
• “Give yourself permission to be bad and suck at whatever new habit you're creating.” — Courtney (18:31)
• "People just want to know what’s real and true… You have to just stop caring so much and just move." — Dani (32:35)
• “How do you take your… crappy first car that you're trying to make and… make a skateboard?” — Dani (37:50)
• "What if… your system is that you have a hundred systems… flipping back and forth between them based on what you need in the moment?" — Dani (39:35)
• "No amount of coping skills and no amount of meds are going to make you not have ADHD anymore… play the cards you're dealt." — Dani (45:22)
• “It should be bad. It's got the word 'worst' in it.” — Dani (57:13)
• “The Ta Da list… instead keeping track of a list of the stuff that you did do already.” — Dani (58:46)

Recommended Cheat Codes (Actionable Takeaways)

• Body Doubles & Accountability: Regular co-working for shared momentum.
• Gamify & Rename Tasks: Fun names and containers help defeat dread.
• Lower the Bar: Do the smallest version of a task—get moving.
• Task Adjacency: Stand near a dreaded task until you (inevitably) start.
• Half-Ass It: Separate must-haves from nice-to-haves. Complete the essentials.
• Ta-Da List: Track every accomplishment, even tiny ones, for self-validation.
• Microsteps > Shame: Celebrate “one better choice” daily—progress, not perfection.
• Ditch Rigid Tools: Allow yourself to change systems as needed.
• Call Out “Shoulds”: Swap “should” for empowering alternatives.
• Permission to Be Bad: “First draft, worst draft.” Lower stakes; ship messy.
• Identify Your Real Critics: Whose judgment are you actually afraid of?

Key Timestamps

• [01:27] Dani’s Background, Twitter breakthrough, Anti-Planner origins
• [05:48] Body doubling routines, community accountability
• [09:15] Naming cheat codes; anti-boring rituals
• [14:15] Task adjacency, standing at the sink, lowering starting friction
• [18:31] Permission to be bad, minimum viable habits
• [24:23] Breaking down big tasks, “next physical action”
• [29:45] Content creation: impulsivity vs. over-planning
• [35:17] Minimum viable step, half-assing, must/nice-to-haves
• [39:35] No single universal system—embracing novelty
• [42:10] Micro-steps, “one better choice,” eliminating shame
• [47:59] Naming insecurity; whose judgment matters?
• [52:50] Teach one rung down, help beginners, share the vulnerable truth
• [54:49] Language cheat codes: avoiding “shoulds,” therapy speak
• [57:13] “First draft, worst draft”—accepting imperfection
• [58:37] The Ta-Da List, micro-celebrations

Tone & Style

The conversation is energetic, honest, and irreverently funny—mixing practical wisdom with raw, relatable storytelling. Both host and guest model nonjudgmental self-discovery, self-compassion, and the joy of “un-gatekeeping” advice that truly works for neurodivergent brains.

Connect with Dani Donovan

• Social: @danidonovan on BlueSky, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok
• Website: adhdd.com, antiplanner.com
• The Anti-Planner: Over 100,000 copies sold; details & order at antiplanner.com