Slay The Gatekeeper: "Un-Gatekeeping Freelancing"

Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Mila Holmes
Date: August 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this vibrant and practical episode of “Slay the Gatekeeper,” Courtney Johnson sits down with creator, freelancer, and “cheat code” expert Mila Holmes. Together, they break down actionable strategies (“cheat codes”) to succeed as a freelancer and content creator. The pair cover everything from overcoming rejection, identity-driven motivation, networking, content creation, client management, proper rest, and the reality of brand partnership deals. Mila shares hard-earned wisdom in an approachable, candid tone, supported by anecdotes, real-world examples, and her signature no-nonsense approach.

Main Themes & Takeaways

• Overcoming Rejection and Failure
• Building Motivation Through Identity
• Breaking Down Excuses and Taking Action
• Client Boundaries and Qualifying Work
• Networking and Authentic Relationship-Building
• Rest as a Fundamental Business Practice
• Charging What You’re Worth
• Attracting Brand Partnerships as a Creator
• The Hidden Risks of Popular Tools (like CapCut)
• “Do It Now”—Conquering Procrastination

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Exposure & Rejection Therapy as a Superpower

[01:10–03:19]

• Mila shares how her childhood as a Jehovah’s Witness (knocking on doors from ages 4–18) taught her to become comfortable with rejection.
• This experience translated directly into her business and content creation: “So going back to like rejection therapy, I think just seeking out rejection… just makes you more comfortable with failing. And failure is inevitable.” - Mila [02:34]
• Failure isn’t the end, it’s practice: If you’re comfortable with rejection as a content creator or freelancer, it removes the “worst-case scenario” anxiety.

2. The Identity-Based Motivation Hack

[04:06–06:27]

• “The best way to get motivated is tying your identity into it.” Instead of just focusing on tasks, Mila reframes actions as part of her core identity (e.g., “I am reliable,” not “I will try to be on time”).
• “You can’t break your identity… So if any action I want to take doesn't align with that identity I’ve created, I don’t take it.” - Mila [05:11]
• Both reflect on how thinking in terms of identity rather than just to-do lists made hard habits (content creation, working out) easier and more durable.

3. Excuse-Busting and Implementation

[07:36–09:31]

• Mila recommends listing every excuse for not doing something, then evaluating their legitimacy one by one:
  • “Literally put everything on paper and go line by line. Is this worth me not doing the thing I want to do?” - Mila [07:54]
• For valid reasons (“I’m actually sick”), set the conditions for when you will do the thing.
• “It’s never gonna be the right time… you have to force yourself.” All these cheat codes of motivation, identity, and excuses feed into each other for a holistic self-management strategy.

4. Setting Boundaries and Qualifying Clients

[09:31–11:22]

• Mila no longer works with clients “whose motivation my deliverables are tied to”—she prefers autonomy and only takes on clients who enable rather than hinder her process.
• On filtering new clients: candid conversations about expectations are key. Mila values open communication and mutual respect.

5. The Two Best Ways to Get Clients: Networking & Content

[11:22–15:41]

• “Networking is just friend making.” Both hosts emphasize how high-quality opportunities come through authentic connections rather than formal “networking events.”
• Content creation is a long-term play: by providing value publicly, ideal clients come pre-sold and ready to work with you.
• “When people reach out to me… they’ve already seen so much of my content… no matter what happens on our one-on-one, they’ve already decided they want to work with me.” - Mila [12:14]
• “The word networking is maybe a little bit misleading. So more like make friends in business… and making friends is scary, but again, just rejection therapy.” - Mila [15:01]

6. Rest is Not a Reward—It’s a Requirement

[24:30–28:07]

• Both discuss overcoming hustle-culture conditioning:
  • Mila learned the hard way by burning out after early TikTok success, now prioritizing sleep, downtime, and honesty with her team about her needs:
    • “Rest cannot be optional. Sleeping eight hours a night cannot be optional. Spending time with friends… cannot be optional.” - Mila [24:49]
• Courtney adds that “True mastery of rest… is I am rested and centered even in chaos.” [27:36]

7. Charge More Than You Think You Should

[28:32–30:04]

• Mila's formula: Base pay for living + taxes, add what she wants to make, add a buffer for Scope Creep—charge a number that scares you a little.
• “It removes the possibility of resentment.” - Mila [28:59]
• Transparency with clients about rates and reasoning is a must.

8. Brand Partnerships: The Inside Track for Creators

[30:04–35:47]

• Mila’s pro tips for content creators wanting to work with brands:
  • Be Consistent: Show you take content creation seriously (good camera quality, visible contact info, regular posting).
  • Have a North Star: Make content about the brands you want to partner with. Demonstrate value with numbers (“high retention Notion tutorials”) before you ever pitch.
  • Tag Brands Organically: “If you talk about them and tag them, you’re much more likely to get a project.” - Courtney [35:47]
• “There's not enough content creators… it’s a huge open space” when it comes to B2B and LinkedIn influencers. - Courtney [32:16]

9. Caution: CapCut Usage Rights

[36:41–39:10]

• Mila warns about CapCut’s terms: the app claims worldwide, perpetual rights to your content. “They can sell it, use it in sponsorships… I’ve switched to DaVinci.” - Mila [36:59]
• Her viral PSA video hit 18+ million views and may have caused CapCut significant losses as creators deleted their accounts.

10. The “Do It Now” Mindset

[39:26–41:29]

• Mila’s favorite cheat code: Don’t overthink, don’t let internal discourse delay you—just do the thing immediately.
  • “You just let your body do what it needs… I've been finding that very interesting over the last few weeks. I’m getting more done.” - Mila [39:36]
• Example: She spontaneously pitched herself as co-founder to a company, which led to real negotiations—an opportunity she would’ve talked herself out of if she hesitated.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Rejection:
  • “Being susceptible to rejection and making it make you act differently is you being controlled. So don’t allow that to happen, you know?”
    – Mila Holmes [03:41]
• On Identity:
  • “You can’t break your identity… So if any action I want to take doesn't align with that identity I’ve created, I don’t take it.”
    – Mila Holmes [05:11]
• On Networking:
  • “The word networking is maybe a little bit misleading. So more like make friends in business… and making friends is scary, but again, just rejection therapy.”
    – Mila Holmes [15:01]
• On Rest:
  • “Rest cannot be optional. Sleeping eight hours a night cannot be optional. Spending time with friends… cannot be optional.”
    – Mila Holmes [24:49]
• On Scary Numbers:
  • “Every single time it’s been a number that scares me, it’s ended up being one that I’m happy I charged later on down the line.”
    – Mila Holmes [28:53]
• On CapCut:
  • “They just have worldwide, perpetual usage rights to your content… that is a risk I’m not willing to take.”
    – Mila Holmes [36:59]
• On Action:
  • “Just do it now. Do things, don’t think about them.”
    – Mila Holmes [39:29]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:10] — Childhood exposure therapy and business mindset
• [04:34] — Motivation through identity, shifting habits
• [07:36] — Excuse-busting method
• [11:22] — Filtering clients and setting boundaries
• [11:41] — How networking and content bring clients
• [15:41] — Friend-making vs. suit-and-tie networking
• [24:30] — Rest is non-negotiable for sustainable business
• [28:32] — Always charge more than you think
• [30:04] — Brand partnerships: sourcing, pitching, and North Star strategy
• [36:41] — CapCut’s terms & viral content consequences
• [39:26] — “Do It Now”: Mila’s final productivity cheat code
• [42:37] — Action item for listeners

Action Items for Listeners

1. Pick the thing you keep putting off—and “do it now,” or write out your excuses and systematically break them down.
2. Re-examine your personal ‘cheat codes’:
   • Are you charging enough?
   • Are you tying habits to identity?
   • Are you networking in ways that feel authentic to you?
3. Review the terms of the apps and services you use, especially if you’re a creator.

How to Connect with Mila Holmes

• Find her on all major social platforms: @byMilaHolmes
• Mila isn’t taking new clients, but welcomes connections, engagement, and DMs for collaborative or friendly opportunities.

Final Wisdom

Mila’s message to freelancers and creators is clear: build resilience to rejection, design action around your identity, charge what you’re worth, don’t pursue “low leverage” networking, and act immediately rather than overthinking.

“The thing that you keep thinking about… you can just do it now. Do the first thing that comes to mind to move you toward that. Don’t waste time.”
– Mila Holmes [42:37]

If you struggle with procrastination, want insider strategies on freelancing, or need help building a personal brand, this episode is packed with timeless, practical advice you can implement today.