Loading summary
Transcript31 lines
- [00:00]
A
Foreign. Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. I'm your host, Courtney Johnson, and I am here to un gatekeep the gatekeeped. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy. Welcome, Rashina, to Slay the Gatekeeper. So happy to have you here.
- [00:22]
B
It's so great to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Super excited for today's session.
- [00:28]
A
Well, you have taught me so much about beliefs, overcoming limiting beliefs, and I would love for you to just share who you are, what you do, how you help others.
- [00:40]
B
Yeah. So my name is Rashina and I work with entrepreneurs, rising women from all around the world, on overcoming the limiting beliefs that keep them small in business and also in lives. So a classic example, if you were to look at an entrepreneur who's working on their limiting beliefs in the context of business is rising to the next level. Fear of being seen, fear of making more money, fear of something breaking in their life if the things that they want to happen start actually coming into fruition. And I also work with entrepreneurs who have limiting beliefs in their personal lives. So, for example, around dating, friendship, these, these kinds of other realms which are equally important. And this all started when I was running a marketing studio and I was working with many women entrepreneurs from all around the world, and I noticed that a lot of the things that were getting in the way of their business growth and expansion were mental inner glass ceilings and blocks. So this was kind of how my journey began and what led me to this space that I'm in at the moment.
- [01:47]
A
Oh, I love the term inner glass ceiling. How do these ceilings form? Like, how are we developing these limiting beliefs?
- [01:56]
B
Limiting beliefs start in early childhood. So essentially, up until the ages of 6, 7 years old, children are entirely operating on a subconscious level. They're not able to distinguish between what is truth and what is fiction. So essentially they are going out into the world and believing everything that happens to them to be true and not kind of making that distinction. And so what happens is often when you are growing up, you'll be repeated several stories about how the world works, how the world works for someone like you, what is true about you, your personal qualities, how you interact with the world around you, and you believe those things. So a classic example could be someone who grows up in a family where maybe they are the least favorite sibling, or maybe they've been taught that they shouldn't trust themselves and that they're not smart or that they're lazy. So growing up in the world, children learn through repetition and through this early childhood programming, limiting narratives and beliefs around themselves. Limiting beliefs can also be created through traumatic experiences. So it doesn't need to be something that happened in your early childhood. It could be a workplace experience, a difficult relationship experience that taught you a limiting belief as well.
- [03:18]
A
Mm, beautiful. Yeah. How I think about limiting beliefs in my work in life is, you know, you can have one foot on the gas. You're going. You're going for your goals. But if you don't address your limiting beliefs in your subconscious, you're always going to have one foot on the brakes, too. So right now you might be like, well, I'm doing everything right. I'm putting in the reps. I'm showing up. And, yeah, you might have a foot all the way down in the gas, but until you lift that foot off the brakes, like, you are going to be stuck in these loops and be essentially, like, calling to your limiting beliefs. You're going to be running on the programs of your limiting beliefs rather than what you're. You're going towards.
- [03:57]
B
Yeah. So essentially, limiting beliefs, if they're going in a different direction to the goals that you have, they are like these invisible saboteurs that are getting in your path and tripping you up when you're trying to move forward. So your subconscious mind is saying to you, yeah, I want to grow my business online. Yeah, I want to grow my visibility. But the limiting belief that says it's not safe to show up online, if I show up, I will be rejected by my community or by my friends or my family, or if I get to the next level, I will lose everything. That's essentially the break that is putting you back in your path towards wherever you're consciously trying to get to. And it is really like having just kind of a little community of inner sabotage that are stopping you from getting where you want to go. And this is why it's incredibly important to actually look into what you have going on on subconscious level.
- [04:53]
A
Yeah, I want to get into some of the cheat codes that you have. You have, by the way, everyone should follow Rashina on social. You have such good. Such good tips. But one of these cheat codes or ideas is that. And, guys, I love talking about money. I love money beliefs. Rashina, you have shared that limiting beliefs can actually keep you broke. How, why, and how do you overcome that?
- [05:15]
B
Okay, there are so many levels on which limiting beliefs can keep you broke. So I'm going to start with baseline. The first thing is, if you have core beliefs that are limiting beliefs, this is going to keep you broke because of how you're moving through the world. So core beliefs could be I don't trust myself, I'm not safe, I'm not valuable, I'm not good enough. Things that are really impacting every area of your life and every aspect of how you interact with people. If you don't trust yourself, you don't think that you're valuable, you don't think that you're safe. Every interaction that you have with potential clients, with your community, with your online space, with any new interaction that you have is shaped by your lack of self worth, lack of self value, lack of self trust. So these are just the baseline beliefs that will impact you in any kind of area of life, any realm that will inhibit your financial growth. Then you have specific money beliefs. So you could have something like a financial set point. I can't make more than 10k a month. I can't make more than 20k a month. I can't be a six figure entrepreneur. I can't make more than 2k a month. For example, could be a limiting belief that someone would have or you can also have, if I get to the next level, something bad will happen. If I get to the next level, my family will reject me. If I get to the next level in business and I start earning more, I won't be able to have a successful relationship. Relationship beliefs are very specific, so they impact you in ways that are very unique to your trajectory and story. But when it comes to money beliefs, it's usually to do with if I make more money, something bad is going to happen, I can't make more money and at the same time maintain other levels within my life. If I make more money, I will become a bad person and essentially nobody wants to be a bad person. Right. So that's, that's also something, it's a self image issue then that comes into play and there's also the fear of losing it all. So if I make more money, I take more risk in my business, I start trusting myself, I will lose it all. So it's really a kind of a massive universe of belief that can get in the way of earning more money. And it's specific to each individual. But where there is someone who is struggling on the financial front, there is a limiting belief around money or around something that is directly or indirectly connected to that.
- [07:48]
A
Yeah, yeah. It's so interesting because I feel like there's at least I've seen in my growth in business, there are these ceilings that I put on myself for safety and I really have to address the subconscious in order to break past that ceiling. Another cheat code that you have is, this was from your sales cheat codes, and that is believe in yourself so wildly that you're actually happy to get rejected. Why? Why should you be happy about rejection?
- [08:22]
B
Okay, this is, this is a really, really interesting one. And so most people in this world, in this society, this international society that we're operating in, have been raised to believe that rejection is a bad thing. And often rejection triggers underlying limiting beliefs. So you get rejected. This means that you are not good enough. This means that you're not valuable. This means that nobody will buy your. Means that what you are creating in the world is worthless. People often go out into the world and when they get rejected, it's triggering all of these different layers of limiting beliefs. But actually, by putting yourself out into the world and getting rejected and creating opportunities where you literally are putting yourself out there so much that people are saying, no, this isn't for me, you're actually piercing through to the right people. So from a sales perspective, it is a numbers game. You are having to just put out a volume of intention, action and effort into the world to really reach the right people. That's just purely because there are so many of us and reality is happening on multiple levels. But even from a belief perspective, it's helpful because it gets you to actually understand what you're working with. So through embodying your own power and putting yourself out there, you start to get triggered by the underlying belief mechanisms that are going on underneath the surface, and you bring them into your awareness. So the person who is out there sending 100 emails and making 50 calls, they have a better understanding because of how they're feeling and because of how they're responding to it, of what are their triggers? What are the limiting beliefs that are actually getting in their way compared to the person that is sitting there and doing nothing because they have then no information about themselves or about how the world is responding to them. So actually taking action can be a way to develop a deeper awareness of your limiting beliefs and, and at the same time, carving your pathway in the world.
- [10:23]
A
I think that could definitely apply to the rejection can apply to so many things you can apply to dating. Like, wow, I'm so happy that didn't work out. I'm so happy because that is teaching me something new about myself and my desires and what I want. That can happen with friendships, happen with opportunities, even happen with content creation. Like you put something out, it doesn't work. Yay, more data. Exciting. Cool. Like, this is going to inform my strategy moving forward. That's really awesome. So another cheat code remove. When you remove this blindfold of your beliefs, you can see that there's more options available to you. Tell me more about that.
- [11:05]
B
Okay. I really love this one. And I just think it should be part of a universal curriculum that we are taught from an early age. But unfortunately, it's not. But here we are. So essentially, most people on this earth and I have lived in over six countries, and I've traveled extensively, so I really know this at an embodied level. Most people have been taught in ways that are limited. So to think in a way that is limited, to move in a way that is limited, and to operate within a realm of possibility that is limited. And essentially what removing the blindfold does is. Is it's essentially you encouraging yourself to see all that is possible. So tapping into the truth, which is abundance, which is unlimited potential and opportunity, and that you have access to that you can actually use and operate within that field. And removing the blindfold is a term that I use. It's from tarot, actually. And I use it to really describe when a person kind of leaves this limited space of operating within the knowns that they have inherited from the system, from the family that they were raised in, from the social circle that they grew up in, and actually stepping into a realm where they can generate different opportunities that they didn't think were possible. They can have interactions that they didn't think they would ever be able to reach with people, maybe that they never thought they could interact with or were good enough to interact with. It's essentially going out of the little pond into the big pond, which is unlimited possibility, and you actually experiencing the best of yourself. And that's. That kind of unpeeling of the blindfold is that all of us have the potential to do that in our very own way, but we have so imbibed and accepted as truth our own limitation that it becomes kind of a struggle wading through internal dialogues and inner glass ceilings, like I said, to even get to a place of being able to perceive that level of truth.
- [13:08]
A
Yeah, it is so beautiful. Like, after you do work around limiting beliefs, literally immediately after you will start to see that there's more possibilities. You will start to see things you didn't even understand. One time I was doing a limiting belief work around, like, my wardrobe being like, I'm. You know, I can show up in this way. And then literally right after I made a pinterest board for my dream wardrobe that I went and did a closet clean out and I realized like when the junk was gone it was already here. I already have some version of this and it's just crazy what can come if when you step out of these this limiting patterns into abundance. Like you're saying, I think this brings us to our next cheat code which is reality is just a mirror. How do you think about this? You know that feeling when nobody really gets what you're going through when you're surrounded by all of these people but you're somehow still feel alone. I lived that reality for years until I discovered the power of healing and community. Reinvigorate and Restore is a luxury six day retreat in Cape Town designed specifically for women who are ready to move beyond survival mode to begin living your best life truly and authentically. Imagine six days in Cape Town April 14th through 19th by the way, in a luxurious villa where everything is designed for your restoration. Morning yoga overlooking the mountain, sound healing sessions. Authentic connection with people who understand your journey without explanation. Imagine six days with people who truly get it, who see you, hear you and walk along you in your healing journey. Time is limited, so book your spot for April. Again, the retreat is April 14th through 19th and you can visit survivorsriseretreat.com to book a call with Paula to learn more. Your people are waiting for you. Nexus Point is a best in class outsourcing company that helps business owners and entrepreneurs scale efficiently and profitably by leveraging the global talent pool. Founded by entrepreneurs like yourselves, Nexus Point uses its vast infrastructure to find, hire and train best in class talent from around the globe at just 20% of the cost of hiring locally. Nexus Point will provide you with pre vetted talent with college degrees and at least three years of work experience, often with US based business owners. From executive assistants to social media managers, customer service reps, data entry and research analyst and other back office functions, Nexus Point can help take you and your business to the next most profitable level. Yet. Use the special link or mention Slay the Gatekeeper and have the $500 search fee completely waived. Delegation is so important, but it can be so hard to find the right talent. So I highly recommend checking out Nexus Point again. You can book a call at go Nexus CourtneyJohnson or visit the link in the show Notes Today's episode is sponsored by my Sunrise Content Club. I created Sunrise Content Club because I really desired accountability in my content creation. How it works is we meet on Zoom every single weekday from 8 to 9am we get on the Zoom, we play some fun music, we have a little mindful moment and then I give you a content prompt and we spend about 45 minutes working on this prompt together. In this time you can ask questions, get feedback on your content, and at the end we all share our wins and we also share our content that we have created during that time. So we all get an initial boost because we are liking and commenting on each other's posts. There's also a really fun and supportive group chat where you can ask questions, share your content, get accountability. The Sunrise Content Club is an incredible way to stay consistent in your content creation and have community support. It is especially helpful with folks with ADHD who find value in body doubling. For a very limited time, you can join the Sunrise Content club for just $99 a month. This is a very special limited time founders rate and I am so excited to see you guys there. Join the Sunrise Content Club today.
- [17:35]
B
Okay, so the way that I think of it, and I'm just going to preface this with a little bit of context on me and my life that I've lived. So I I grew up in many different countries around the world, and so I got to experience different realities from a young age, and I experienced realities that were not only in different countries, but also different spectrums. So when I was living in India, I had a driver and a maid and I was kind of experiencing life that maybe some royalty would experience. And then I went into a normal life in England and then I was just a normal teenager who got to walk to school and do these kind of very basic things. So I've lived in a lot of different spectrums. And so I've already kind of seen this to be true myself. But what I wanted to really say about this is that essentially your internal reality is externally reflected in everything that you do and how you move through the world. So 95% of your reality is subconscious. It's happening at a subconscious level and it's mirroring what is happening subconsciously within you. So you have a set of stories that you're telling yourself about how the world works for someone like you. You have your limiting beliefs and you have kind of the limiting behaviors and things that you've also learned and your habits and the ways in which you operate within the world that is all being mirrored in every single facet of your existence in every moment. So you, Courtney, wake up and you go outside and you have a conversation with someone. Where does that conversation lead? How does that person receive you? How do they resonate with you? All of this depends on who you think you are. How valuable you think you are, how insightful you think you are, whether you think the world is a safe place, whether you think that it's safe to talk to strangers, whether you trust your own intuition about people. All of these internal facets are getting mirrored in that one conversation that you have with that person. The same thing happens in business or in the workplace. You go to work and you're doing a presentation, and it seems that the presentation just is down to you and the material, but it's actually down to, do I trust myself? Is it safe to speak up? Do the people around me see the value in me? Am I good enough to reach the next level in my career? All of this is being mirrored back to you in the reception that you have from other people. So when you move one belief or two beliefs, your world starts to change because it's getting mirrored back who you are and how you move through these different eras of your life gets mirrored back to you.
- [20:12]
A
Yeah. So we've identified how to see your limiting beliefs, kind of where limiting beliefs come from. But. But let's say you want to now transcend these limiting beliefs. I know you have this really cool framework around reality, ascension. Let's say someone is like, look, I am really over these limiting beliefs. I know I have with, let's say, dating. Well, Rashina, what do I do now? How do I actually start to address these?
- [20:38]
B
Okay, so I work with people on this every single day. So it's firstly, I would say, just call me and we can talk about it. The first thing I think is important to do is to release. So to understand what are the narratives that are getting in your way if you don't know what they are, you don't have any power, and you don't have any creative control over your life because you're blindly walking forward without the consciousness level of what's going on underneath the surface. So the first thing is take stock of what beliefs you have, what narratives you're telling yourself, what's actually holding you back from what you want to happen in your dating life. And then you begin that process of releasing what is no longer true for you. So maybe you were raised with this notion that you should be reliant on your partner or that it's not safe to receive help. These are stories that then limit you in your dating life. So thinking about what is holding you back, beginning to release it. And then in that space between, when you've released a belief and created a new reality for yourself, there is some reimagination that needs to occur. So you actually saying to yourself, this is no longer true for me, but what could be true for me and what would I like to be true if I really had the ability to exercise that creative control over my life? So I like to devote a lot of time to reimagination because many people don't really realize what could be true for them if they weren't limited, because they're so used to thinking in a limited way that it's just not something that really occurs to them to think beyond that. And on top of that, we've received a lot of marketing about what we should want and what the kind of ideal life should look like for people. So there's also that process and then there is the embodiment level. So once you've kind of changed a belief, consolidated it into something that really works for you, it's actually exercising that belief in the world. So not just keeping it in the gym, actually saying, okay, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to start trying different things based on having this new belief and seeing this version of myself play out. So it's a little bit like a rebirth process.
- [22:51]
A
Yeah. Something that I really like that's pretty actionable is every time I adopt a new belief, I just track every single time that belief is true. For example, I, you know, you could say something like, I make a lot of new friends. Right. That is a. It's easy for me to make new friends. Just take out your phone notes and clock every single time you have even a micro interaction that proves that to be true. Did you talk to somebody at yoga and they just said, hi. It's easy to make new friends. Did you actually make a full new friend? Awesome. It's easy to make new friends. Can you reflect on new friends you've made over the past year? It's easy to make new friends and continuously, like, training your brain to see where that is true, it's only going to reinforce it even more.
- [23:37]
B
Yeah, yeah. This is a really great way of reaffirming a belief and kind of creating this dynamic with yourself where you're essentially continually teaching yourself that this belief is true for you.
- [23:51]
A
You also use journaling a lot. I'm curious, what are some of the ways that you use journaling to reinforce new beliefs? Create new beliefs, rid old beliefs.
- [24:01]
B
Okay, so I have a really good journaling prompt that maybe your listeners could try, which is a really great prompt for trying to figure out what is holding in place a belief. So let's say you have identified that you have a limiting belief around visibility. Okay? And you think, okay, I really want to get to the next level in my online presence, and I want to reach tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people. And you identify what that number looks like for you, and you realize that you're really blocked and reaching that level of visibility. So here's an exercise that you can do where journaling would be really, really helpful in understanding what is holding in place that belief. It's called a fears and gift exercise. So on the one hand, you do. If I were to achieve this, if I were to have the belief that I could have hundreds of thousands of followers easily and be building my online presence, what is the worst thing that could happen? So you allow yourself to journal on all of the possible terrible outcomes that could happen as a result of you having this positive and empowering belief. And the reason we do this side of it is because the subconscious believes that if it didn't have this belief, it would die. So it's fight flight. If. If you didn't have this belief, something terrible would happen. I would die. Which is why your subconscious is holding on to the belief life. So you need to get that out of your subconscious by addressing okay, as though it were a little child. What are the things that you're scared of? What are the things that worry you? What are the doubts that you have? Let it all out. And this is great for journaling because journaling, when you get into a flow, you really just let everything out. And then the other side of it is the gifts. So the subconscious also believes that where you are right now is the safest possible place. So why is it safe? What are you gaining from not having this massive visibility and following? So what you can do there is say, okay, because I don't have this belief because I have the limited version of this belief. What are the good things that have happened as a result of that? Why is it a good thing? So then you look not from the perspective of your normal mind, but from this perspective of what is your subconscious doing to try to keep you safe for all of the good things that have happened as a result of you having this belief that you're not able to be visible. So to give you an example, it could be, I'm safe, I'm supported, my community likes me, I don't get rejected. I feel good about myself, I feel confident. So these are all the reasons that are kind of holding in place your belief on the one side and all of the fears on the other side. And that's kind of what has it stuck. And then what you essentially need to say to yourself once you've done these two prompts for journaling is, I can have the visibility without all of these terrible things happening. And I can have this visibility and at the same time, keep all of these gifts. So this is, I think, a really great prompt to try. If you're wanting to look into your limiting beliefs, and maybe you're just at the beginning of that process, I think it can really help clear up a lot of. A lot of the internal friction.
- [27:20]
A
How else are you using journaling to improve your life?
- [27:24]
B
I mean, I personally love journaling. I have for many years. I journal every single morning. I do morning pages. And this is something that I think a lot of people who have gone through the Artist's Way or who have heard of the Artist's Way do as well. I journal in a number of ways. I don't just journal to prompt, and I don't just journal in a writing format. Sometimes I journal verbally. I'm a verbal processor. I don't know if you guys can tell. So I like to just talk and talk and talk. And so sometimes you can process things in a better way by talking either to yourself, like literally giving yourself a voice message. And what I try to do in that is always just getting clarity and allowing for release. So if there is something that needs to come up to the surface that I need clarity on, I usually will journal it, either written or verbal. I also think that it can be really helpful in the context of limiting narratives and beliefs. So if you put yourself in new situations of growth and you find that you're getting a bit stuck and you don't know what is actually holding you back in the process, journaling can be a really great way to eventually get to the depths of what's getting in the way for you. Because there are so many different prompts that you can use. There are different kind of techniques as well. And this is just really helpful because after a certain point, you really do get to the truth. It might not come through initially, but I think that with time and with practice, it can be a really great tool to be able to access what's going on underneath the surface.
- [29:03]
A
Yeah, journaling has been so helpful for me too. And, man, morning pages, like magic happens with morning pages. I think the artist way is just such an incredible tool and resource, and it's like the. It's so accessible. I love it. If you haven't done the artist way, definitely do it. You can get this book for like $5 at your used bookstore. Easy accessible. It's awesome. Rashina, do you have any other cheat codes or little hacks for people overcoming limiting beliefs that we haven't talked about?
- [29:36]
B
Okay, so I would say one thing that is just for absolute beginners is if you don't know where are your limiting beliefs and you just really have no idea, I would urge you to just observe your life and look at where you're experiencing the most friction. So just look around at your life and see where am I finding myself most challenged? And those are usually the areas where you have limiting beliefs. So that's one tool that I think is just super, super helpful, is just growing that self awareness and self observation of where you're actually struggling and, you know, fighting through when you may actually be able to just sail smoothly in that area. And also that you can teach yourself beliefs through embodiment. So I tend to work with people who really have a lot of limiting beliefs, and either they're in business, so it's super important for them to get through it, or they're really creative, so they need to actually access these different levels of themselves. But one thing that I would say that can be super helpful if you don't want to go through the process of literally unraveling your mind and changing things in that kind of way, is embodiment is a great way to teach yourself new beliefs. So, for example, Courtney, you have this sunrise content club where everyone shows up every single day and just posts something online. What I noticed in that club, just from a belief perspective, is that through the challenge, people started to teach themselves that it was safe to show up online. So collectively putting yourself in the environment where other people are doing the same thing and then consistently showing up to it helps you to reprogram a belief as well. It doesn't just need to happen with the help of a coach, but I would recommend usually if it's tied to repeated childhood trauma, consistent narratives, or just any other kind of trauma that happened in later life, go to a coach. And if you really think maybe I'm ready to just try something at an embodied level, do it consistently. Put yourself in that atmosphere where other people are doing it as well, and you can literally start to teach yourself through repetition that it is safe for you to embody that belief in the world.
- [32:04]
A
Yeah, I love that. Go where your goals are normalized and where the habit has already been built because our brains and bodies are wired for connection. And just like when you're in middle school, and you kind of start talking like the cool kids because you kind of want to be like them. And it's kind of happening subconscious. You're picking up on their slang. The same thing is going to happen going into whatever circle because our bodies are wired to be a part of the group and connection. So if you really want to get toned, like, go to a Pilates class where everyone's already super toned. And by osmosis, like, literally, your brain and body will do everything it can to fit in with that group, which means embodying whatever goal you have. So I love that example. I love that you bring up Sunrise Content Club because it is. It's like you are very scared. Content is overwhelming, and you drop into this container and it's so normalized for everyone. It's so not a big deal that it really helps over overcome that. But, Rashina, if. If they do want to work with a coach, how can they work with you? How can they find you? What sorts of things are you offering?
- [33:06]
B
Yeah. So I would love to hear from you guys. If you're interested, you can get in touch with me on Instagram. My handle is Houseofrashina, and you can also go to my website, www.houseofrashina.com. there's all the information there, and I do a variety of different things. So whether you're looking, go through a program and work through several limiting beliefs at a time or just discover what they are in the first place, we can do that, and I would love to hear from you.
- [33:41]
A
Beautiful. Well, thank you, Regina, so much for coming on. Y'all definitely check out Regina. Stop work with her. She's amazing. And I'll see you soon. Thank you.
- [33:51]
B
Thank you so much for having me. Bye, Courtney.
- [33:56]
A
Okay, y'all, if you like this episode, you would love, love my Patreon. Okay? You get exclusive access to me, exclusive content, tons of other resources, and a lot of juicy. Okay? So I hope to see you on my Patreon.