Un-Gatekeeping Tantra

Summary

Podcast Summary: Slay The Gatekeeper - Episode: Un-Gatekeeping Tantra

Release Date: July 29, 2025
Host: Courtney Johnson
Guest: Leola, Tantrika and Pleasure Priestess

---

Introduction

In this enlightening episode of Slay The Gatekeeper, host Courtney Johnson welcomes Leola, a renowned tantrika and pleasure priestess, and bestselling author of "Sacred Sex". Leola shares her expertise on integrating tantra into daily life, empowering women through sexuality, and fostering personal growth. The conversation delves deep into un-gatekeeping tantra, exploring practical cheat codes that blend personal development with sacred intimacy.

---

About Leola and Her Work

Leola introduces herself as a tantrika and pleasure priestess dedicated to transforming the understanding of sexuality. Her bestselling book, "Sacred Sex", offers a pleasure-based approach to sex education, emphasizing healing past traumas and empowering individuals to experience profound intimacy.

Leola [00:51]: "Sacred Sex is the sex education that you probably didn't have, but that we all desperately need. It is pleasure-based, honest, and empowering."

Additionally, Leola hosts the Tantra Love Retreat, a coed event open to single men, women, and couples, aimed at fostering authentic connections and personal transformation.

---

Cheat Code 1: Money Dates

One of the pivotal discussions centers around Money Dates, a practice that transforms the relationship with money by treating it as a lover. This approach aligns with attachment styles—avoidant and anxious—to cultivate a healthier financial mindset.

Leola [07:15]: "When you treat money as a lover, it loves you back."

Key Insights:

• Avoidant Attachment: Ignoring financial matters leads to a lack of awareness and control over finances.
• Anxious Attachment: Constant stress about money inflow and outflow can result in hoarding behaviors.
• Implementation: Regularly schedule Money Dates to meditate, set intentions, and review financial activities with gratitude and strategic planning.

Courtney shares her personal routine of conducting Money Dates twice a week, incorporating meditation and involving friends for accountability.

Courtney [10:26]: "I do them every Monday and Thursday."

Leola emphasizes adapting Money Dates to individual lifestyles, whether it's once a week or once a month, to maintain a conscious and intentional relationship with money.

---

Cheat Code 2: How You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything

This principle underscores the importance of consistency in actions across different aspects of life. Starting with the bedroom, setting boundaries and expressing desires can ripple out to enhance communication and assertiveness in all areas.

Leola [13:09]: "If you can set a boundary in the bedroom, you can set a boundary with your mom, with your best friend, with anyone."

Practical Steps:

1. Self-Exploration: Understand personal desires and boundaries.
2. Communication: Practice expressing needs and setting limits in intimate settings.
3. Consistency: Apply the same confidence and clarity in professional and personal relationships.

Courtney adds that setting boundaries is vital for maintaining trust and authenticity.

---

Cheat Code 3: Accepting Compliments

Leola highlights the significance of being able to receive compliments as a foundation for self-worth and openness to abundance.

Leola [17:45]: "If you can't receive a compliment, then you can't, you know, you're gonna be broke forever."

Key Points:

• Receiving as Pleasure: Each moment is an opportunity to receive pleasure and abundance.
• Mindful Awareness: Practice gratitude and presence in everyday activities to enhance receptivity.
• Overcoming Shame: Eliminating self-judgment and shame opens pathways for growth and fulfillment.

---

Cheat Code 4: Eliminate Anything Just 'Meh' in Your Life

This cheat code encourages letting go of activities, relationships, or commitments that do not provide pleasure, purpose, or a paycheck.

Leola [36:16]: "If it's not giving you one of those three—pleasure, purpose, paycheck—let it go."

Actionable Advice:

• Assess Commitments: Regularly evaluate what brings value and joy to your life.
• Remove Negativity: Disengage from situations or people that drain energy without offering meaningful returns.
• Embrace Fulfillment: Focus on endeavors that align with personal passions and professional goals.

Courtney suggests adopting a "shame-free diet", avoiding self-imposed judgments and societal pressures that hinder authentic living.

Courtney [34:36]: "Eliminate the word 'should' from your vocabulary."

---

Cheat Code 5: Release Resentment Towards Patriarchy, Men, and God

Addressing and letting go of resentment related to patriarchy, societal structures, and spiritual beliefs is crucial for personal liberation and collective healing.

Leola [36:40]: "Why would you carry this any longer than you have to? It's not going to change anything to hold on to any resentment."

Insights:

• Shared Victimhood: Recognizing that men are also victims of patriarchal constructs fosters empathy and healing.
• Balanced Energies: Integrating both masculine and feminine energies leads to healthier relationships and societal structures.
• Transformative Power: Letting go of resentment opens the door to trust, discernment, and deeper connections.

Leola elaborates on the importance of embracing the warrior energy in men while also advocating for more priestesses to support and balance this dynamic.

Leola [40:57]: "The false warrior emerges when he abandons or is abandoned by the feminine. We need more priestesses to support the men."

---

Cheat Code 6: Seduce the World into Greater Good

Leola introduces the concept of Sacred Seduction, a wholesome and empowering form of seduction aimed at inspiring and uplifting the world.

Leola [29:34]: "To be in the energy of seducing the world into a greater good is to be evidence and permission of a new way of interacting with our sensuality."

Key Elements:

• Sacred Seduction: Moving beyond superficial attractions to fostering deep, meaningful connections.
• Integrating Feminine Energies: Balancing light and dark feminine aspects to create holistic and powerful influences.
• Collective Healing: Using seduction as a tool for societal transformation and empowerment.

Courtney relates this to everyday interactions, emphasizing genuine desire and commitment over mere persuasion.

Courtney [32:46]: "I'm gonna seduce my friends into eating Mexican food with me tonight."

---

Conclusion and Takeaways

In this episode, Courtney Johnson and Leola provide actionable strategies to un-gatekeep tantra and empower individuals through intimate and financial practices. The discussed cheat codes—Money Dates, Consistent Boundaries, Accepting Compliments, Eliminating Negativity, Releasing Resentment, and Sacred Seduction—offer a comprehensive roadmap for personal growth and spiritual enrichment.

Notable Quotes:

• Leola [00:51]: "Sacred Sex is the sex education that you probably didn't have, but that we all desperately need."
• Courtney [10:26]: "I do them every Monday and Thursday."
• Leola [13:09]: "If you can set a boundary in the bedroom, you can set a boundary with your mom, with your best friend, with anyone."
• Leola [17:45]: "If you can't receive a compliment, then you can't, you're gonna be broke forever."
• Leola [36:16]: "If it's not giving you one of those three—pleasure, purpose, paycheck—let it go."
• Leola [36:40]: "Why would you carry this any longer than you have to? It's not going to change anything to hold on to any resentment."
• Leola [29:34]: "To be in the energy of seducing the world into a greater good is to be evidence and permission of a new way of interacting with our sensuality."

Listeners are encouraged to integrate these cheat codes into their lives to foster a harmonious balance between personal desires, financial well-being, and societal contributions.

For more insights and resources, listeners can connect with Leola through her book "Sacred Sex Ed", her website talktantertomy.com, and her Instagram @TalkTantraToMe.

---

This summary encapsulates the core discussions and actionable advice from the "Un-Gatekeeping Tantra" episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Leola]

Foreign.

[Courtney Johnson]

Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper.

I'm your host, Courtney Johnson, and I am here to un gatekeep the gatekeep. Thank you so much for being here.

Enjoy. Leola.

[Leola]

Hello.

[Courtney Johnson]

Welcome.

[Leola]

Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. It's good to see you in the flesh.

[Courtney Johnson]

It's great to see you too.

[Leola]

Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

I am so happy you're here. I feel like you just have so much to share with my audience and I'm so excited to dive in. We have some spicy cheat codes.

[Leola]

I'm ready. Let's spice it up.

[Courtney Johnson]

I think these might be the spiciest cheat codes that we've ever cheat coded.

[Leola]

Oh my God. Turn up the heat.

[Courtney Johnson]

Let's go. We're gonna get spicy in here. And before we jump into cheat codes, I would love for you just to share a little bit about yourself.

[Leola]

Yeah, yeah. I'm a tantrika and pleasure priestess. I'm also the bestselling author of Sacred Sex, which is the sex education that you probably didn't have, but that we all desperately need that is pleasure based, honest and empowering. It's not like an anatomy book. It's really about bringing sacredness back into sexuality, healing past trauma and giving you tools to really empower you to have the best sex of your life and the best intimacy of your life. So that's a lot of what my work is about. And I'm super passionate in this season of life about working with women and giving them the tools and the tips and, and the full embodiment to bring their feminine radiance online and to seduce the world into a greater good. So that's, that's me.

[Courtney Johnson]

That's so beautiful. And guys, Lil's book is amazing. I also went to your retreat and that was really, really incredible. Like truly life changing. So.

[Leola]

Oh, thank you.

[Courtney Johnson]

Just all the, all the love for all, all the things that you do.

[Leola]

Yeah. It was so great to have you at the retreat, the Tantra love retreat. It's open to single men, women and couples. So it's a co ed retreat and it's. We've been doing it now for like four years. We're gonna be doing our seventh one this fall. It's a great time. So come join us.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah, I think I, I sent a couple yalls way.

[Leola]

Oh, really? Cool.

[Courtney Johnson]

I. They haven't signed up, but they're coming.

[Leola]

They'Re coming, they're coming, they're coming. I love it manifested.

[Courtney Johnson]

Lula, what's your dream?

[Leola]

What's my dream? You know, it's Such an interesting question. What's my dream? I feel very fortunate that recently this is kind of vulnerable. Recently I had this. I made it energy come through my life of like, wow, all of my dreams have officially come true. Um, it was a little bit of accounting the eggs before they hatch situation. Um, I had a miscarriage like, a week ago. But it was this realization of, like, I did so many things in my life to get to the place where I was ready to have kids. Um, I had this thriving business that was really supporting me in a way that I could work once a week and be making multiple six figures. I. I wrote my book and shared it, and it was a bestseller. I got married, I bought the house. Just, you know, like, all of the things I got. Lasik. That's a random thing, but I really wanted to get Lasik.

[Courtney Johnson]

Life changing for real.

[Leola]

That's one of my cheat codes. Get Lasik. No. So, yeah, so it was just like, okay, here we are, we're ready. And that hasn't gone away. Like, I'm still going to get pregnant soon. It's fine. But that's not what this episode's about. It's so hard when you're like, in a thing to not make it about.

[Courtney Johnson]

It, but we can think about anything.

[Leola]

So right now, my dream, like when you said that, my friend, is like, I want to have a baby.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah.

[Leola]

Is. Is like, what's real and alive. And I feel very fortunate that I've built my dream time and time again. And now there's like a new dream that feels super epic. And I'm excited about that and I'm excited about growing my family and, and bringing all the things that I've learned into that and also expanding my body of work into. You know, a lot of people have come to me and said, like, first of all, people read my book and they say, I can't wait to share this with my kids. Maybe not the whole book, but, you know, a lot of it. And, you know, my work has transformed and evolved so much since being in life partnership with my husband. And I'm so excited to see what happens with this next chapter with growing my family, because I've worked with a lot of women pre pregnancy. During one of my very first female clients ever was in her second. She found out she was pregnant like a week after we started together. And it ended up being healing her and preparing her to have the most empowered birth. She came to me to work on her sexuality. But birth is a sexual experience. Getting pregnant is a sexual experience. Obviously, so. And then, you know, a bunch of women in my containers are moms. So I'm really excited to see how I can personally experience my work in that chapter and share it. Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

Beautiful dream. Thank you. I love dreams. They're my favorite thing ever. Like, I just think it's how we save the world. It's just if we're tapped into our dreams and we're following that path, like, it's just so beautiful. So thank you for sharing your dream.

[Leola]

Thank you for that invitation. That was.

[Courtney Johnson]

That.

[Leola]

I was not sure where that was going to go, and I feel really.

[Courtney Johnson]

Good about it in the end. I just love dreams. I love dreams. And I love cheat codes.

[Leola]

Great. Me too.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah, I love cheat codes because sometimes people are just like. I'm like, just tell me what to do. Tell me what to do. Right. And obviously, there's more than doing. There's doing and being. And what I like about your cheat codes is they kind of integrate the doing and the being together.

[Leola]

I agree.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah.

[Leola]

And I love to talk to people and get their specific cheat code. The night of my husband and I's wedding, like, afterwards, we had, like, a hotel room, and all of our kind of nearest and dearest friends came together. And I don't know how it started, but we started to pick one person at a time and say, you're really good at this. So it's like a compliment, like, calling them out. You're really good at this. How did you get there? And it could be anything from, like, your ass is immaculate. Like, what is that about? Two, you're really great at building wealth. How did you get to that place? You're really good at getting what you want. You just get what you want consistently. How. How do you do that? And it was really amazing. It was so beautiful, so fascinating. I highly recommend that as like, a prompt for, like, a dinner party or, like, a hang with, like, a group of, like, five to 10 people is.

[Courtney Johnson]

So did they, like, make this into, like, a book or a video?

[Leola]

No, we just were like. It was literally at the end of the night after our wedding, we're all, like, kind of drinking wine in bed together. And it was one at a time. We each had, like, our little TED Talk, and we would nominate each person. Like, you're. You didn't get to choose what you were gonna talk about. It was like, you've got a great ass. How did you get that great ass? And how do I get a great. It was like. That was the.

[Courtney Johnson]

Okay, this is so. This is so good. This is such a. Yeah. Party. Cheat code, friend cheat code. I don't know, I'm feeling like retreat workshop. I'm gonna put that in my pocket. That's a really good one. Well, something first. Cheat code that I learned from you that I don't know if you know, but I do this two times a week because I don't remember where I learned it from you. If it was in business and pleasure, if it was in a podcast episode.

[Leola]

But money dates, great. Yes, money dates.

[Courtney Johnson]

Tell us about money dates.

[Leola]

Yeah, so when you treat money as a lover, it loves you back, right? And so a lot of us and I have a course called Money as a Lover which came with business and pleasure. So it's probably where you got it because I did like a whole teaching on like, strategically how I do money dates. Like, money date isn't just I'm going to like lay in a bucket of money and self pleasure, whatever, which I'm also a big fan of. But there's also a lot of like, masculine strategy, intentionality that goes into money date as well as ritual. And so, you know, many of us tend to have a insecure relationship with money. We tend to either be avoidant of money. So we don't want to do our money date because we just don't want to go there. It feels too scary, intimate, like, would rather just not look, not know. We're not really aware of, like, what's coming in and what's going out. And this can happen, like at any stage of, like your wealth journey. Like, this can happen when you have like no money and then you're constantly in debt. But it can also happen when you're making multiple six figures, millions of dollars potentially. And you're also like, where did the money go? You know, because you're just not aware of what's actually going in and out of your business. So that's one piece is avoidant or you could be anxious. So this is definitely a play on the attachment styles. For those that aren't familiar, the attachment styles is a great body of work that's generally applied more to relationships. And I like to apply it to everything that I could potentially have a relationship with, including money. So an anxious relationship with money would look like const stressing out about money coming in, every dollar that you spend, anxiously checking the account and like hoarding kind of behavior. And you can also have a combination of both of those, which I definitely had. And it wasn't until I started doing regular money dates, which was probably about six or seven Years ago, I started doing regular money dates and kind of building a relationship with money. And it created so much more ease in my nervous system. And it also created this real, this right relationship with money where I was becoming more conscious of my spending patterns as well as my money making patterns. And then I was able to set to be more intentional about bringing more money in as well. And so my wealth, my abundance increased really dramatically after I started doing that super regularly. To me, it's telling the universe, like, I'm responsible. I'm an immaculate stewardess of money. I care about you, and then the universe wants to give you more, more money. And I truly believe that we have the capacity to make the world a better place with money. Every dollar that comes out of my pocket, I believe pretty much is making the world a better place. Whether it's like literally donating money or it's buying something that's bringing me more pleasure and joy, which is radiant, radiating out into the world. Or it's spending money on organic, regenerative, farmed, raised food and meat. Right. So that's my little money cheat co money day.

[Courtney Johnson]

It's so good. I do them every Monday and Thursday.

[Leola]

I love that you do them twice a week.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah.

[Leola]

That's insane and awesome.

[Courtney Johnson]

They're only 45 minutes. So I just usually don't get everything done in, in one day. And also then you could bring in like the masculine and feminine elements of it in different days. Or like, I love that. Paying bills. And then one could be like updating your landing page or whatever. But every Monday and Thursday, I do it from 9 to 9:45. And I start with like, meditation, grounding in, setting an intention and spending the time working on any money stuff that's coming up. So, like, anything from paying a bill with gratitude to. Yeah. To like pitching something, whatever, talking to my cpa. But what I find most helpful is I bring other people into it.

[Leola]

Okay, cool.

[Courtney Johnson]

So I'm like, I have to be there, right? Like, I'll add my, like, friends to the Zoom invite and I have to show up. So there is like this accountability and this fun and like, lightness that comes from other people being there. Okay.

[Leola]

So you're getting your friends to join your money dates twice a week. That's so epic.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah. And they're paying me.

[Leola]

Okay, perfect. Even better. Yep, even better. I love that.

[Courtney Johnson]

And I'm like, I have to do it. And it's a win, win, win, you know?

[Leola]

Yeah. And for anyone listening, like, I think that's awesome that you're Doing it twice a week and it can look different for every person. There are so. And I like that you're working with the energetic side. You're meditating. You're also making sure that you don't have any debts. You're paying. You're like paying all the things. You're just having a moment to really be in devotion to money in all of the areas of your life. And you don't have to do it twice a week either. When I first started doing this, I was doing it once a week. I believe I was doing it once a week. And then I'd have like little check ins with like, I'd put in big expenses and things in the middle of the week. Now I do a money date once a month and that's it. So it, it's. It can. You can adapt this to your lifestyle and your preferences. And I also now have like some of my team organizing a lot more of my finances. So I'm not having to be as regular in it, which is also great. Um, so, yeah, yeah, that's my dream.

[Courtney Johnson]

Is like, money appears in my account and I don't have to deal with anything or pay any bills or. Which I do have a lot of it delegated. But I still think about it. You know, I'm like, I need someone.

[Leola]

To fully take the.

[Courtney Johnson]

Fully take the reins. If anyone's listening, I'll hire you. Fully take the reins. And you're like, this is your budget, Courtney, for the month.

[Leola]

I love it.

[Courtney Johnson]

That's what I want. That's what I want. Okay. Love it. That's such an actionable thing, like anybody can implement right now. I love it.

[Leola]

Yep.

[Courtney Johnson]

Okay. Cheat code number two. How you do one thing is how you do everything. For example, asking for more in the bedroom. If it makes you nervous, you might be unable to ask for more in other areas of your life.

[Leola]

Yeah, yeah. So this comes down to, you know, tell me what you want, what you really, really want. Right. Well, Spice Girls reference there. So for me, you know, there, there's this statement, right? How you do one thing is how you do everything you hear all the time. But I really like to start in the bedroom with sexy time, because this is for many people where you're going to be the most physically, emotionally and energetically vulnerable. And so when you can ask for, you know, anal in bed, you can ask your boss for a raise. Right. If you can set a boundary in the bedroom, you can set a boundary with your mom, with your best friend, with anyone that you need to set A boundary with, you know, when you can request like a slower, softer touch, you can also send back your order. That's wrong at the restaurant. You just become more embodied and confident.

[Courtney Johnson]

By.

[Leola]

As a byproduct again, because this is the most vulnerable place that you're probably ever going to be. So it's just, it's going to ripple out into every part of your life very organically. So that's kind of my piece on it. Do you have any follow up questions about it or.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah, like what's like a small step that you can take because somebody might be listening to this being like, yeah, that feels really scary or really, really uncomfortable. Like what's a small tiny action?

[Leola]

Yeah, I think that the number one thing is going to be first to like explore with yourself and get really curious about what your desires are for yourself, what your boundaries are for yourself. I think that so many of us learn about intimacy and sexuality behind closed doors in the dark, trying to get it over as fast as possible. Hiding the evidence, like we've inherited this like shame and fear around exploring our desires and exploring what our boundaries are. So then when we go out into the world and we start exploring with other people, we're also going in really just tight, like unable to express ourselves. And so it starts with yourself. It starts with individually claiming what do you want, getting curious about what your boundaries are and then, you know, as you engage with other people. I like to like before I even go on a date, now I'm married obviously, so it's a little bit different. But I'll share how it's still applicable when you're married as well. But when I was single before I went on a date, I would get clear on like what are my hard boundaries before I even left. Because guess what happens? You go on a date, I, maybe you're drinking, maybe you're not, it doesn't matter. But that's altering your consciousness. And then, you know, maybe you, things start to heat up. You're making out, you're, you're getting excited, you're getting giddy. Your brain is then being flooded with, you know, feel good hormones, serotonin, oxytocin. Again, all of the same things that would be flooding your brain if you were on drugs or alcohol. And you might be on drugs and alcohol in addition. So then you're mixing medicines, quote unquote. So what happens is if you're not clear on what your desires and your boundaries are before you go out, you might get in a situation where you're gonna make Decisions that you wouldn't have typically made. And that's gonna erode trust with yourself and potentially with that person as well. So I think that there is a separate exercise of reclaiming your desires, getting curious about those pieces and then, you know, out in the world. How do you communicate that with a person? And I think that another piece is getting curious about, like, are sexy consent, consent skills. How can I make this playful and a part of foreplay? And it is a muscle. Like, it's going to be awkward the first few times that you try to express yourself in this way.

[Courtney Johnson]

Probably.

[Leola]

But I would rather it be awkward before I get into a situation where I feel like my boundaries were crossed. Like, that's way worse feeling like my boundaries were crossed than having an awkward conversation or being stuck in my head, like, why isn't he doing the thing that I like and like, oh, like wasting the sexual experience.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah. I feel like that ties well back into the. How you do one thing is how you do everything. Because even setting boundaries in a sexual experience, like setting boundaries, setting intentions, setting, like in anything you do, in any. Really anything you do. I think that also, like, bonus cheat code, accepting compliments. Like I always say, like, if you can't accept compliments, you'll be broke forever. Because there's a whole, like, receiving how you do, how you receive is how you receive in other ways. So, yeah, can you speak a little bit to the receiving of it all? Yeah, absolutely.

[Leola]

I think that you really summed it up so beautifully. If you can't receive a compliment, then you can't, you know, you're gonna be broke forever. And I think that that very naturally extends into pleasure and life in general. So a very easy, like, takeaway for me around receiving is treating each moment like a meditation of pleasure, a meditation of receiving. So in tantra, you have this invitation to meet, make each moment sacred. And so what I like to do is, in any given moment, consider how can I make this moment even more pleasurable? How can I receive this present moment even more deeply? So, for example, something really mundane like washing the dishes. How can I receive the frequency of washing the dishes in an energy that is pleasurable? How can I feel the five senses reality of the warm water on my skin and the rainbows and the bubbles? And can I connect to the truth that I'm well fed, I'm super well nourished, and I've received this incredible bounty into my tummy from this gorgeous earth that I live on? Can I receive the reality that I might have shared this meal with someone that I love and maybe I was able to feed them, maybe they fed me. So I think that there's really just like the invitation to receive is in, in literally every second of our lives. And to take this to a more professional level, a little bit more of like a pro Tantrika level is okay. Like you can receive the lotus growing in the. You can receive the flower of the lotus, but can you also receive the mud that it grew in? And so that's a deeper piece is can you receive the experiences in life that feels painful, challenging, deeply steeped in grief, heartbreak and what's available for you when you can receive that? Because if you can receive those pieces, I'm not saying don't feel the pain like bypass. Definitely feel it. And that's what I mean, really receive it. Go into it. Because there's pretty much always something there for you. And I love Viktor Frankl's work, Man's search for meaning. Like if you can take the Holocaust and receive that and find something of value, then you can do it with pretty much everything, in my opinion.

[Courtney Johnson]

That's such a beautiful and profound book. It's really amazing.

[Leola]

It is.

[Courtney Johnson]

It's on my like required reading list for all my clients.

[Leola]

I should really read it again. I don't think I've read it since like college or high school. I don't remember.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah, it's so beautiful. It's wild.

You know that feeling when nobody really gets what you're going through when you're surrounded by all of these people but you're somehow still feel alone. I lived that reality for years until I discovered the power of healing and community. Reinvigorate and Restore is a luxury six day retreat in Cape Town designed specifically for women who are ready to move beyond survival mode to begin living your best life truly and authentically. Imagine six days in Cape Town, April 14th through 19th, by the way, in a luxurious villa where everything is designed for your restoration. Morning yoga, overlooking the mountain, sound healing sessions. Authentic connection with people who understand your journey without explanation. Imagine six days with people who truly get it, who see you, hear you and walk alongside you in your healing journey. Time is limited, so book your spot for April. Again, the retreat is April 14th through 19th and you can visit survivorsriseretreat.com to book a call with Paula to learn more. Your people are waiting for you. Nexus Point is a best in class outsourcing company that helps business owners and entrepreneurs scale efficiently and profitably by leveraging the global talent pool. Founded by entrepreneurs like yourselves. Nexus Point uses its vast infrastructure to find, hire and train best in class talent from around the globe at just 20% of the cost of hiring locally. Nexus Point will provide you with pre vetted talent with college degrees and at least three years of working experience, often with US based business owners. From executive assistants to social media managers, customer service reps, data entry and research analysts and other back office functions, Nexus Point can help take you and your business the next most profitable level yet. Use the special link or mention Slay the Gatekeeper and have the $500 search fee completely waived. Delegation is so important, but it can be so hard to find the right talent. So I highly recommend checking out Nexus Point again. You can book a call at G O NexusPT IO CourtneyJohnson or visit the link in the Show Notes Today's episode is sponsored by my Sunrise Content Club. I created Sunrise Content Club because I really desired accountability in my content creation. How it works is we meet on Zoom every single weekday from 8 to 9am we get on the Zoom, we play some fun music, we have a little mindful moment and then I give you a content prompt and we spend about 45 minutes working on this prompt together. In this time you can ask questions, get feedback on your content, and at the end we all share our wins and we also share our content that we have created during that time so we all get an initial boost because we are liking and commenting on each other's posts. There's also a really fun and supportive group chat where you can ask questions, share your content, get accountability. The Sunrise Content Club is an incredible way to stay consistent in your content creation and have community support. It is especially helpful with folks with ADHD who find value in body doubling. For a very limited time, you can join the Sunrise content club for just 99amonth. This is a very special limited time founders rate and I am so excited.

To see you guys there.

Join the Sunrise Content Club today.

Ooh Nexhiko, the portal to your next level is in the parts of you you've been taught to avoid.

[Leola]

Yeah, I love this. I love that you put this here. It's something that feels so deeply resonant in this chapter of my life. As we talk taboo as we explore various parts of the rea of our reality that we've been taught not to talk about. And to me the three main things that we're told not to talk about are money, sex and religion. And what I find really interesting about these three topics is that they're all three enormous generators of money is power. Sex is power. Religion or connection to God is power. And so it's really fascinating to me that these are the things that we've been conditioned not to talk about. And my conspiracy theory is that we've been conditioned not to talk about them because the powers that be would prefer us to be disempowered so that we're easier to control. Because you're never more easier to control than when you're being told being rich is bad and wrong, therefore you're perpetuating a scarcity mindset. So people are stuck in this loop with the government, et cetera. You're also really disempowered when you're told to be afraid of the very energy that brought you into the world, which is your sexuality. Right. Like, we're all here because two people were. Two people had sex, and we're told that this is, like, shameful, bad. Like, there's just so much from religion, from media, et cetera. And. And again, like. And also I'll say, too, that we're generally taught specifically about sexuality, that our sexuality is dangerous. And I don't disagree with that. I do think our. Our sexuality can be dangerous. A lot of us have been taught that it was dangerous, or we learned in an early sexual experience that our sexuality was dangerous. Maybe our boundaries were crossed. Maybe we were sexually assaulted. Maybe something just didn't feel right. And so we learned, hey, this energy is actually dangerous. It's created trauma for me. So I'm just not going to touch it or I'm going to have a relationship with my sexuality where I let it kind of run my life and I'm not fully harnessed in it. So anyways, the path to creating safety, thereby diffusing the danger of sexuality, isn't avoiding it or letting it run our lives. It's by mastering it. And it's the same with money. And it's the. With our relationship to God as well.

[Courtney Johnson]

I love the conspiracy sprinkle. I feel the same. Yeah, it's really crazy. Like, I grew up in purity culture, religious, and in a culture that also said, like, yeah, money's bad. Yeah, this is like the one, right? Religion. If you have any sexual feelings at all, something's wrong with you. And money is the root of all evil. And that's. That's a fuck ton of undoing. Yeah, for sure.

[Leola]

Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

But when you come out on the other side of those things of, like, not being in that, you're like, holy. Like, now I have all of this power, I can wield like, this is why I have this podcast, is why I do what I do, because I deeply, deeply just desire for other people to see the sovereignty that they can have. And a lot of times, like, it's crazy because there's even, like, resistance to it. It's like, yeah, that's impossible. Like, people are so disconnected that some people are like, that's not even a possibility for me. Even though it is a possibility for everybody.

[Leola]

Yeah, I absolutely resonate with that. A million percent. I grew up in the Midwest in a small town, very similar, like the average me. The median income today where I grew up is still like $35,000 for the household, which is so crazy to me. Like, that's so low. Right. And, and, and, and, and, you know, very religious as well. Sex was really bad. Don't talk about it. And so I came out of where I, like, I moved away from where I grew up, this small town, as soon as I turned 18, and there was a lot that I had to work through. And it's also what's made me so passionate about talking about these things because it has been such a journey, like, to go from where I came from to where I am now feels, Feels insane and unbelievable. But it's totally possible.

[Courtney Johnson]

I agree. Totally possible.

[Leola]

Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

Okay, our next. I'm gonna skip. I'm gonna skip around to our last cheat code and we'll come back to the other ones. Cause I feel like this one is really sneaky, which is your mission is to seduce the world into. Into greater good. And I feel like in the way you're doing this and the way a lot of people do, this is like Trojan horse style. You're like, the seduction is like, this is something that's really interesting and cool and like, let's deepen your relationship. And all those things are true. But then the inside of the Trojan horse is like, boom. Healing power.

[Leola]

Yeah. I've never heard this analogy for what I do.

[Courtney Johnson]

And I'll take it. I think this is everyone that's leading, like heart centered businesses. Because I feel like somebody told me this about my LinkedIn course. They were like, Courtney, your LinkedIn horse is. Your LinkedIn course is a Trojan horse. Because they're like, I thought I was gonna learn to like, optimize my LinkedIn profile, but now you're. I'm crying about my childhood trauma over my fear of being seen. Like, yeah, this is not. I mean, you know that anybody could Google the tactics of LinkedIn. Like, this is about overcoming fear of being seen, which that's A wound, right. And now I'm seeing that pattern and everybody around me, I'm like, what's their Trojan horse? Because the inside is the same.

[Leola]

Yeah, it's, it's so true. People come to me usually because they want to have a better relationship to themselves and to other people. And typically that looks like feeling really good in their bodies and, and having great sex. And it's exactly that. Like, it's not too far down the line that you're crying about your inner child. Like, that's absolutely it. That's absolutely it. So, yeah, I mean, that was my journey. I. The first time I discovered Tantra, I was really in it for the cool sex tricks that was, that was the sauce for me. But yeah, it. Doing the work of looking deeper within myself, which is the path to having better sex as well, Truly better sex. Like you can learn all of the weird techniques you can in the wheelbarrow position. That's not going to get you what you really want though, which is deep, profound, soul soaring intimacy that's only available when you go deeper within yourself. The deeper that you go within yourself, the deeper you're going to be able to meet another person as well. So. Yeah. And when it comes to seduction specifically, I love to use this word because it's also taboo, which we've kind of talked about. And you know, when people think of seduction, they think about big red lips and short tiny skirts and fake boobs. I don't know, like, what do you think of when you think about seduction? They think about strippers, whatever. But to me there's something called sacred seduction. There's this really wholesome side of seduction. And I talk about a lot of this when I'm, I'm working with women in bringing their femininity online because we have something called the light feminine and the dark feminine. And then we also have the shadow feminine. And there's shadow in the light and in the dark. And so one of the shadows of the dark feminine is this the seductress that we think of when we think about seduction, but there's also this whole version of the dark feminine. Like when we think about dark feminine, you might think like, oh, that must be like bad or wrong or I don't know, but the dark, we've learned to demonize the dark, but there's actually a lot of magic in the dark. And the dark is where the little seed becomes a sprout and the caterpillar becomes the butterfly and the baby in the womb becomes like a real human, you know, and so there is this quality of seduction in the feminine that can be used to make the world a better place. It's. It's. It's a neutral energy that can be channeled in nefarious ways, but also in ways that are deeply inspiring and empowering. Just like money, just like sex. All of these things are neutral. It really just depends on how you utilize this energy. And so to me, to be in the energy of seducing the world into a greater good is to be evidence and permission of a new way of interacting with our sensuality in a way that gives people permission to fully be in their body, bodies, to experience pleasure as medicine, to inspire our men into their hearts. So that, to me, is what I mean when I say seduce the world into a greater good.

[Courtney Johnson]

I love it. I love the word seduction. I use this on the reg for, like, normal things. I'm like, I'm gonna seduce my friends into eating Mexican food with me tonight. You know?

[Leola]

I love that.

[Courtney Johnson]

I do. It's not, like, convincing. It's seducing. I want people to beg, to want to do something. Be, like, all in on it, you know?

[Leola]

Yep.

[Courtney Johnson]

It's so fun. Okay, next. Cheat code. Oh, spicy. Get rid of anything just meh in your life.

[Leola]

Yeah. I like to say, if it isn't giving you a pleasure. If it isn't giving you a pleasure. I'm, like, blanking on my own quote now. If it isn't giving you a paycheck, pleasure or. I forgot the third part. This is so embarrassing, those two things. And there's one more thing. Maybe it'll come to me or not, but the idea is, if it isn't really serving you, then send it packing. You know, life is just way too short to allow yourself to be involved with anything that isn't fully lighting your fire. And. And again, like, there are. There are shades to this, right? And this is something that you can evolve into as well. I'm not saying to just quit your job immediately because you're not. It's not bringing you pleasure, but it is bringing you a paycheck. But there are ways to move and adjust your life, to work towards a reality where you are getting paid for what you love. And you've obviously done that, and I've obviously done that. And it's a million percent possible, I believe, for every single person on the planet to be lit up by what they're doing to some degree at least. But, yeah, I believe that life is just too short.

[Courtney Johnson]

So, yeah, I think a really great way to Action. This is just eliminate the word should from your vocabulary.

[Leola]

Also shame. I think shame's a really big piece. You know, should and shame. Right. They're so deeply related. You go on Instagram today and it's like, you should do this diet. You should be doing, like, there's so much influence and it can really create this reality of I'm behind, I'm not doing things right and whatever. And like, to me, the most empowering, like, thing that you can do is actually remove the shame. That's the biggest meh energy that's keeping you from what you deeply desire is this self judgment. So, yeah, go on a shame free diet.

[Courtney Johnson]

A shame free diet. Wow, that's so good.

[Leola]

No, more like be carnivore, be vegan, be cold, plunge, whatever. Shame free diet. That's the biggest hack for help, health, Love that shame is such a low vibration. So if you're consistently. Even if you are doing all the things and taking all the supplements and doing the eight step morning routine, whatever, if you're still consuming shame, then you've got a much bigger problem.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah. You can't shame your way into changing. I mean, maybe temporarily, in a. Not permanently.

[Leola]

Yep, for sure.

[Courtney Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah. I think you, you mentioned too about, like, there's all these messages. There's like, do this, eat this way, whatever. Like, I know this is paradoxical to what we're talking about because we are randos talking on the Internet, but don't listen to randos talking on the Internet. It is like both true and not true. Right? Like the true answer comes from within you.

[Leola]

I remembered. Pleasure purpose or paycheck.

[Courtney Johnson]

Pleasure, purpose, paycheck.

[Leola]

If it's not giving you one of those three. Okay, let it go.

[Courtney Johnson]

Let it the fuck go. All right, our next cheat code. Ooh, okay, this one's spicy. We've talked about this a little on our podcast before. Release resentment towards patriarchy, men, and God in your life.

[Leola]

Yeah. This is another thing that it's like, why would you carry this any longer than you have to? Why would you carry this any longer than you have to? It's not going to change anything to hold on to any resentment. It's not going to shift the collective. If anything, it's going to create more separation, in my opinion. And what we often forget is that men are also victims of the patriarchy. They're also victims of this reality that we've created. You know, where this society has told us women to distrust our bodies and distrust each other and. And to tone ourselves down to become men. This society has also taught men to not feel really. And so there's really this opportunity when we can be in our hearts and meet the masculine from that energy of invitation. And again, seducing him into his heart, that is going to be much more powerful and is way more likely to get you what you want, which is, I think deep down, most women that are in that energy want to want a really integral man. And you don't attract that by being distrustful and resentful. You attract that by being discerning, but also by being receptive as well. And I think that a lot of where this is coming from is it's. It's the flip side of the seduction. Right. For men, a lot of, like, the distrust that we have around the masculine is around the dark feminine or the dark masculine archetype of the warrior. And so. So the warrior is an archetype of the dark masculine. Not good or bad, not right or wrong. There's a shadow or a distorted expression of the warrior, and there's a very godly divine expression of the warrior. But over the years, we've learned to. We've learned to demonize the warrior and the war. Like, I would say patriarchy is an example of the false warrior. The false warrior is he who's not really grounded in, like, the greater good, a higher purpose. There's some selfish or even. Yeah, it generally is just like a selfish motive that's like, deeper rooted. So other examples of, like, the false warrior. The Crusades. Right. Like, we're gonna spread Christianity through the land. I'm gonna have this insanely beautiful sounding proclamation, but in reality, I have this, like, really nefarious. Like, you know, the Crusades were pillaging and raping, you know, like they. And taking treasure. Like they weren't really spreading the word of God. Right. And so. But that doesn't mean that we need less warrior energy because this false warrior has taken over. No, if anything, we need more warrior energy. We just need warrior energy that is fully integrated and embodied and also is held by the feminine. Because it's my belief that the false warrior emerges when he abandons or is abandoned by the feminine. And so I believe that we need more priestesses as well to be able to support the men. And I'll also say that, like, men are still. Even though we're not in time times where there's so many literal warriors in the world, we do. Men are fighting their battles in their own ways these days. Like, our men are working to ideally protect and provide for their family. They're also fighting in the corporate world, like, you know, trying to climb the ladder, make meaning, make purpose. And so it's important to recognize that they're still fighting their battles, and we get to, to be conscious and aware of that and loving in it. Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

Can you talk a little bit? You. So you're saying that the world needs more priestesses? For the listeners being like, yo, Leola, you're onto something. I want what you're having. Can you explain, can you explain what that means and why the world needs more priestesses?

[Leola]

Yeah. To me, the priestess is she who has fully integrated the Dark Feminine and the Light Feminine. And so to me, the Dark Feminine are the parts of our society and the feminine in general that have been generally demonized, made wrong, shut down, et cetera. And those are seduction, her powers of, like, being in pleasure and that being celebrated. And, okay, her emotional alchemy. So her ability to wield her emotional capacity, stay in her heart, not use her emotions to, like, take over a space, but also not abandon or become cold in her heart. So real emotional mastery. And then the third piece is her intuitive capacities, her connection to something outside of herself, which we've also made women out, women that have historically been very connected to their intuition. We've made them out to be these, like, wicked witches, when in reality they were really like, healers. And of course, there is the genuine shadow wicked witch archetype that's very real. But there's also this, like, wholesome witch archetype, like midwives as well. Like, we've made midwives out to be like, these baby killers, when in reality, like, they have, you know, to this day, there's better success rates with midwives for healthy, empowered births than hospitals. So. So, yeah, to me, to be in the priestess is to really have holistically mastered those pieces as well as the energies of the Light Feminine, so that you're fully coming online in service and devotion, not just to yourself, but also to the greater good. You're using that divine feminine power to be in service.

[Courtney Johnson]

So somebody's like, Leola, I, I, this is like a path. This is. Something's pinging for me. This is a path that I want to go down. How can they connect with you, follow you?

[Leola]

Yeah, yeah. So for that specific frequency, if you're like, I really feel called to stepping in onto the priestess path for myself, maybe for my lover, for my family, maybe for the world professionally. This is a profession, Tantra, sacred intimacy. These, these industries are booming. People are, generally speaking, you know, there's so many people that are working on their self development. They're becoming more abundant and profitable in business and they've got the business stuff locked down, but they don't have have the intimacy and the connection stuff locked down. So this is a beautiful path to walk on to support people. And for that I recommend the Pleasure Priestess, which is my year long program for women. It's in person and online and yeah, it's a whole year so you get really a lot of depth in it.

[Courtney Johnson]

That's so beautiful.

[Leola]

Yeah.

[Courtney Johnson]

And where can people find you on social and get your book?

[Leola]

Yes. So my book Sacred Sex Ed is on Amazon. Sacred Sex Ed, super easy to find. And then my website is talktantertomy.com and my Instagram is also Talk Tantra to me.

[Courtney Johnson]

Beautiful. Thank you, Leola.

[Leola]

Thank you.

[Courtney Johnson]

Okay, y', all, if you like this episode, you would love, love my Patreon.

Okay.

You get exclusive access to me, exclusive content, tons of other resources and a lot of juicy shit.

Okay? So I hope to see you on my Patreon.