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Transcript157 lines
- [00:00]
Keisha Slaughter
Foreign.
- [00:04]
Courtney Johnson
Welcome to Slay the Gatekeeper. I'm your host, Courtney Johnson, and I am here to un gatekeep the gatekeeped. Thank you so much for being here. Enjoy. Keisha, welcome. Hi. So happy to have you here. So happy to be here, Keisha. We're going to un gatekeep some spicy cheat codes today.
- [00:25]
Keisha Slaughter
Ooh, I love spice.
- [00:27]
Courtney Johnson
They're very spicy. I would say spicy. Controversial, Triggering, maybe. Yeah.
- [00:34]
Keisha Slaughter
Love. Let's get into it.
- [00:36]
Courtney Johnson
Let's get into it. Okay, so your first cheat code is that your body will intuitively reject your partner if they're not the right person for you. Ooh. What does that mean?
- [00:47]
Keisha Slaughter
I know that's a tough. Every time I say this, people are like, what? Hear me out. Okay, so when I was in multiple toxic relationships, every single time I would get UTIs, I would get strep throat. I would get BV, like, just these crazy things. And, like, I know everyone's like, well, he was just cheating on you. Like, obviously, Karen, he probably was, but, like, do you know what I'm saying? He was toxic. And, like, that's what would happen every single time. Now, the partner that I'm with, I've never had a fucking UTI in my life. Like, once I found a partner that was, like, good for me, like, balanced out my nervous system, I never had any physical issues. So anytime I've had friends that have been, like, getting UT, like a UTI after UTI, like yeast infections, BV, I'm like, I think it's your boyfriend. And nine times out of 10, they're always cheating. I get it. And. Yeah, but that's what I.
- [01:36]
Courtney Johnson
That's the point.
- [01:37]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, your body is literally telling you that that man is out there doing something. He's in the streets.
- [01:42]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. Damn. Yeah, because, like, the ph of, like, the other girl's pussy and your pussy together doesn't. Doesn't match.
- [01:49]
Keisha Slaughter
He's not vibing. I don't know. I don't know the science behind it, but, like, energy wise, yeah, totally. It's like his soul telling on him. Oh, isn't that wild?
- [01:57]
Courtney Johnson
Oh, what the. Oh, my God. That's definitely happened to me. I've been in some relationships where it was like, uti. Uti.
- [02:04]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah.
- [02:05]
Courtney Johnson
Bacterial vaginosis. Over and over and over. Yes.
- [02:08]
Keisha Slaughter
One time I had strep throat. So I've grown up, like, getting strep, like, as a kid. Right. One time. I am not kidding you. I get the worst strep I've ever had. In my entire life, my throat was like, swelled up like a frog. I go to the doctor, I'm like, I don't know what's wrong with me. They look at my throat, they're like, they had to test me for mono because it was just like tmi, pus pockets, all the way down the back of my throat. And they were like, this is the most like, severe case I've ever seen. So they gave me like, obviously a strong antibiotic. Well, what happened? A few weeks later I found out, wow, this man is toxic. And he's been in the streets. So I'm telling you, if you're getting these chronic illnesses over and over and over and over again, like, please look at your partner.
- [02:42]
Courtney Johnson
I did date someone one time and the whole time we dated I was like, kind of fat.
- [02:46]
Keisha Slaughter
See?
- [02:47]
Courtney Johnson
Yes.
- [02:48]
Keisha Slaughter
I'm telling you, you're better than you.
- [02:49]
Courtney Johnson
Broke up and I got skinny.
- [02:51]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes.
- [02:51]
Courtney Johnson
Literally, my body was like this. He's not for you, girl.
- [02:54]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah, your body was like holding on to. So it's interesting. Your body will hold on to extra fat to protect you. So like, maybe it wasn't necessarily him, but maybe he made you feel a certain way about yourself and you're beating yourself up. So maybe he would tell you like, oh, your butt's not big enough, your boobs aren't big enough, your stomach's not. Whatever.
- [03:09]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [03:10]
Keisha Slaughter
And so it made you subconscious. And so then your self image went down and then you're beating yourself up and then your body puts on extra fat to protect you.
- [03:16]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [03:16]
Keisha Slaughter
Isn't that interesting?
- [03:17]
Courtney Johnson
That is really interesting.
- [03:18]
Keisha Slaughter
Body's always communicating with us.
- [03:19]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, we just need to fucking listen.
- [03:21]
Keisha Slaughter
We need to listen.
- [03:23]
Courtney Johnson
Okay. We talked earlier about how the root of kind of all of our problems is self image. Explain.
- [03:30]
Keisha Slaughter
Okay, so think about this. If you are starting a business or you're in a career now and you are wanting a promotion or you're desiring to be in a relationship with a partner, if you do not have a high self image, meaning you don't see yourself in a positive way, you don't feel good about yourself, people will reflect that back to you. So if you're critical of yourself, you're going to find yourself in jobs where people are critical of you, they're beating you up, they're hard on you, no one is ever going to see your value because you don't feel your value. If you don't feel hot and sexy, they're not going to think you're hot and sexy. I have lived this like Every single relationship again that I've had until I heal. Those people would tell me how my nose looked big, my, like, skin. At one point, I had really bad acne. They'd make fun of my acne, like, whatever it is. I was all doing those things to myself. And they were literally just reflecting to me how I felt about myself. So anyway, once I healed that, I started realizing, like, self image literally plays into every single thing in your life. So if you want a better career, you want to get promoted, well, where's your self image? Do you feel valuable? If you don't feel valuable, why am I going to promote you? I'm not going to feel your value. You know what I mean? But anyway, yes, self image gets you whatever you want. It helps you get, again, a better job, a relationship, feeling better about yourself. That could go on for years.
- [04:41]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, Keisha spied on one of my calls earlier where I was talking to a client who was expressing some cringe. She's a career coach, and she was expressing some cringe and sharing her own story, which was like, burnout, health problems. And you kind of clocked that of like, yeah, it's her self image. So if it's somebody like that listening, it's like, yeah, I want to post. I want to put myself out there, but I don't know, I'm feeling cringe. It feels weird. Like, how do you improve your self image to a point where you can feel comfortable putting yourself out there?
- [05:09]
Keisha Slaughter
Oh, a great question. Okay, so we want to start with, like, little tweaks to the brain, right? Because obviously the goal was to change your thoughts, and that's easier said than done. It's like, oh, obviously, change my thoughts. If the brain's very stubborn, it's always trained to go towards the negative. What I've started doing is I will. The first tool I will give you is start an attribute. An attribute list in your phone, list out 125 attributes about yourself. It sounds silly, but what it's doing is it's connecting you to your innate value. Like, oh, I'm beautiful. I'm good at this. I'm good at that. 125 sounds simple. It's like, oh, yeah, I'll do that now. No, like, 125 words and you sit and I'll do that. You're like, I have three in my head right now. But it gets you to, like, start seeing yourself differently. And then once you can do that, it's helping the brain get behind your skillset, your value. And it Helps you raise that self image. I also have a free self image journal where I have a bunch of journal prompts that anyone can download at any time to get it started. But that's like the first tool I'll give people to like really get them to start thinking differently and just to see themselves a little bit differently. Another one I like to do is like when you going to the restroom, when you're washing your hands, look in the mirror and give yourself one compliment. I don't care what it is. Your eyelashes look good, your skin tone looks nice. Like whatever it is, do not leave the mirror until you can give yourself one nice compliment. And it, it's difficult at first if you have a really low self image because you're like I'm not used to doing this, it's uncomfortable. But after you do it over and over again, it starts to become who you are. Then you feel better and then you know, grows from there.
- [06:38]
Courtney Johnson
What about people that are like, well but I give, give, give and like it's selfish to take care of myself or like it's selfish to, to be complimenting myself like that. What would you tell them?
- [06:49]
Keisha Slaughter
Okay. Oh that's a good one. Okay, so self love is the ability to put yourself first, right? We are taught in society that it's so selfish to put yourself first but no it's not because you can go run around and give, give, give all the live long day, no one's going to give to you. You know why? Because you're self leveling. Self love level is in the toilet. Again, people reflect to you, your internal world, right? So if your self love level is at a 14%, they're not going to be coming around doing you favors. You're going to find yourself depleting yourself because your cup is empty. Give, give, give, give, give. And no one's giving back to you. So then what happens? Now your self image is low because no one's giving you what you gave them. You're upset. Whatever. How you can raise this and start to see that it's not selfish is realizing like how are you going to help these people if your self love level is in the trash can? Like if you have a family like I, right? So I can't be giving to my daughter, giving to my partner and then what? I'm depleted. I can't give them anything else. So one of my favorite tools that I give to everyone is before you do anything for someone else, what's one thing you can do for yourself and it doesn't have to be anything drastic. So my daughter will be like, mommy, can you get me some milk? I'm like, sure. Before I hand her that milk, I tell myself, what's one thing I can do for myself right now? And it can be simple. Sometimes it's just taking a deep breath and being like, keisha, you got this. Maybe it's like, keisha, I'm so proud of you for booking a new client today. Whatever. Maybe it's taking a sip of water, but just doing one thing for yourself. And then you do that all day long. You're going to see your self love level raise. You're able to give more because you're self love. You're taken care of. Right. And then you're going to see people start to put you first. Because now you're putting you first. They're going to start putting you first and doing the things for you that you've desired they that they did for you all along. You know what I mean?
- [08:28]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. That's so. I love how actionable that is. That's really helpful.
- [08:31]
Keisha Slaughter
Thank you.
- [08:32]
Courtney Johnson
Our next cheat code is if you want to change your physical appearance, you can actually do that through energy work.
- [08:41]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes. So I had heard this before and I'm like, okay. What it is, is I kind of talked about this earlier. If you have been going to the gym for years and years and years, and you're like, I have this, you know, ten pounds that won't go away in my stomach. This is just an example. And maybe you've been on every diet under the sun and nothing works. You have to, like, start focus, focusing internally, like, what's going on? What are your thoughts about yourself? So if you are always beating yourself up, telling yourself you're not good enough, whatever, your body will literally hold on to that extra fat because it protects you. Because if you think about like chronic illness, like breast cancers or something like that, that's holding on to anger for like, years. It's not like you were angry at someone one night, woke up the next day with breast cancer. But like, I'm talking like years and years and years anyway, so that's your extra form of fat is your body's way of protecting it. So that's one way of, like, losing weight. But also if you have a lot of like, trauma, you'll hold on to inflammation. So when I first went through this whole, like, spiritual awakening, if you will, I shed a bunch of trauma and limiting beliefs. The inflammation in my face, I look like a new person. You can go look on my Instagram or TikTok. But like, I was so inflamed, like, I looked 30 pounds heavier just because of all the inflammation and like trauma that I was holding onto. Um, but literally, again, back to raising my self image, it all stems back there. Once I raise my self image, raise my self love, I, like, I don't look like the same person. It's insane. I have let me previse, I have had a rhinoplasty two years ago, so don't look at my nose. But everything else is just inflammation.
- [10:16]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, yeah, that's wild. And it's wild that it can happen. Yeah, like face, body, like all these parts of your. I also find that when you're heal, like doing healing work or self love, you are more tapped into like your own self expression. So you're like totally expressing your physical appearance in a way that's more true to you rather than like maybe what other people wanted for you. And that can definitely help.
- [10:38]
Keisha Slaughter
Totally. And I know, like, I dealt with body dysmorphia, so when you're first getting into this work, you're like, okay, but how do I love my body? Even though it's 10 pounds heavier, my stomach looks bigger than I want it. What I had to do was like, look in the mirror and be like, okay, I can't love my stomach right now for how it looks, but can I love it for the function that it's providing? I can thank you, stomach for, you know, digesting my food. Whatever you want to say. Once I found myself loving that body part, like, oh, I do love my stomach. Look at all the benefits it's providing me. I swear to God, in like three months, I was. Those 10 pounds were gone. I had my six pack and I was like, that's what I needed this whole time. It wasn't the 9,000 abs I was doing. Mind blowing.
- [11:15]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. You can't hate. Hate yourself into a hot body.
- [11:18]
Keisha Slaughter
You can't. And that's what I thought, like, going back to like competitive cheer and dance. Like, that's the world I grew up in. You know, you would see all these like tiny girls and I'm like, I need to work harder. So I would be like, beating myself up. Like, you need to work harder. You're not doing enough. Whatever. You can't hit yourself into a good body. You can't do it. You can hit yourself into inflammation and burnout. That's what you're going to do.
- [11:39]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. Period.
- [11:40]
Keisha Slaughter
Period.
- [11:42]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, our next cheat code is clocking positive moments. I've done a few One on ones with Kesha. And this is something that you had me do that has been so incredibly helpful. So how do you start doing this? Why do you need to start doing this? Like who is this for?
- [11:59]
Keisha Slaughter
Oh, this is for everyone. Okay, so here is where the clocking moments comes in is our brain is very tricky. It has to be. If you want to reprogram something in your life, you have to change your thoughts, right? But you have to prove your brain that the new thoughts that you're trying to think are true. So our brain always goes, wait, let me stop you.
- [12:18]
Courtney Johnson
So you can't just say I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich. And not actually have like clocking the moments of or like I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful. But then not actually recognize when you feel beautiful.
- [12:28]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes, great question. So that's why affirmations don't work. You can look in the mirror all the live long day and say I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich. Your subconscious brain's going no you're not. No you're not. No you're not. So you're working against yourself. However, let's go on the I'm rich part. You're trying to bring in more money. Clock how you're already abundant. So I always tell everyone, start a note section on your phone, title it your first name, you are abundant. You'll clock micro moments of how you're abundant. Maybe it's and these are micro. Micro, right? Doesn't need to be anything drastic. I found a penny on the ground. Someone bought me coff. Someone bought my lunch. Whatever makes you feel abundant. What you're doing is you're bringing in this feeling. There's a universal law called the law of focus. So what you're focusing on, you're getting more of. So the more you focus on this, the more you're going to call in. And then with you clocking it, you're retraining your brain that you are abundant. Once you do this enough, it becomes a non declarative memory and then that becomes who you are. That's your identity. And then you just think abundantly, right? Subconsciously versus going like I'm lack, I have nothing, whatever. So it's a good way to reprogram your brain. You can do it for anything. It doesn't even have to be abundance. It could be for if you want to do like self image work. If you want to do like, fear of being seen. It's safe to be seen. But just clocking those micro moments of how it's safe, how whatever you're reprogramming, it's life changing.
- [13:42]
Courtney Johnson
It gives some examples on safe to be seen because there's so many people that listen to this podcast that are like, I want to start creating content. Or maybe I am, but I'm like afraid to share this story or this part of me. How can they start to clock that it is safe to be seen?
- [13:55]
Keisha Slaughter
Great question. Maybe you go to. Again, we focus on the micro moments because if you try to focus on like the big ones, it's just like, that's going to overwhelm everyone. Think of the micro moments. Maybe you go into Starbucks and three men turn their head to look at you. Oh, it's safe to be seen. Maybe you go to the grocery store and a man holds a door open for you. Oh, he saw you. It was safe to be seen. And maybe you do post that video and you get 400 views and everyone was like, oh, you look stunning. That was a great message. It's safe to be seen. So it's just finding those little moments. And again, the more you clock those micro moments, the more you're going to find and then the more it programs into your energy and then before you know it, you do feel good posting. I've been there too. It took me six months honestly, to be like, okay, I can post.
- [14:35]
Courtney Johnson
It's safe. Yeah. What was your journey of content creation like? How did you overcome that fear?
- [14:40]
Keisha Slaughter
Well, I just started posting, to be honest, and I look back now and I was so robotic, right? Because I was like, I don't want to show too much personality because what if this person thinks this and whatever. But that's how I started clocking the micro moments was being like, oh, I posted and no one said anything. And then as I started posting and seeing myself on camera, I'm like, okay, you can have a personality. Like, it's fine and if people don't like it, they don't like it. But it just. Honestly, it came from a trial and error posting. Seeing what worked, what didn't. You could scroll back to my TikTok like two years ago. I'm not the same person. The way I talk. Like, I was so robotic. Cringe if you will. But like, look at me now, you know?
- [15:19]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, two things you said that I think are really important. One is that you just have to post like, this is what I tell everyone. You start with something so small, maybe that's just like posting an Instagram story once a week when you get coffee and it's just the coffee. Right. And then maybe the next time your face is in it. And then maybe the next time you have text over it, maybe the next time is a video where you're talking. And then the next time maybe you bring it to like Instagram, but you hide it from your feed. Yeah. And then maybe the next time you have like a video post, like you can slowly work into it. The purpose is just like showing up and practicing that. And then I love that you are talking about clocking the wins. On every single one of my calls with my clients, I always force them to be like, tell me your win, no matter how small. Like, even if it's just I showed up today or I posted it and I got a hundred views or I half finished my post. Because it is so easy to let your brain, like our brains, have a bias towards pessimism and negativity. So it's so easy for our brain to think about like that one post that didn't perform well or that person that didn't like you or whatever, rather than all of the amazing wins that are happening. But I think we also need to reframe what a win is. Like a win could be a micro win. Like clocking those moments could be a micro moment. It literally could be like some random person, I don't know liked it. And that's cool. Cuz look, a stranger.
- [16:31]
Keisha Slaughter
Like, yeah, exactly. Like, it doesn't have to be a million views to be a success. Like, could you imagine if two, like, say you're mad because you got 200 views? What if you had a live workshop and 200 people show up?
- [16:43]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [16:44]
Keisha Slaughter
Are you going to be mad that 200 people show up? No, you're going to be fucking ecstatic. Like 200 people. So. But we're so like. I don't know the word I'm looking for, but like 200 doesn't seem like a lot in 2 million desensitized. Thank you. I'm like, what's the word?
- [16:56]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
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Keisha Slaughter
To views. Yeah, it's so interesting.
- [16:58]
Courtney Johnson
And you'll never get to that 2 million unless you're like appreciating the tiny 100.
- [17:04]
Keisha Slaughter
And it's like if. If you go back to like, fear of being seen, if you don't feel comfortable posting to 200 people, what are you gonna do when you 2 million people see your post? You know, are you gonna like go in and hibernate or are you gonna own it and shelf and be like, hell, yeah, that's my moment.
- [17:15]
Courtney Johnson
Most people do hibernate. Like, most people I work with, they'll be like, oh, Courtney, I got this massive win. I finally went viral. This got 3 million views. And then they hide, and I don't hear for them for two months. I don't see anything they're doing, and they, like, crawl into a hole. And I'm like, are you good? Hello, you good? But it's because, like, your body doesn't feel safe to. To be seen by that many people.
- [17:35]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah. And it's interesting, too. I don't know if you've seen this feature for, like, everyone on Instagram, for everyone that's, like, scared to be seen. Instagram has a feature right now, and it's trial. So it sends out. If you post a reel, you make it and you're like, I don't want my friends and family to see this, my followers, whatever. You click trial. It sends it out to everyone that it's not going to get shown to anyone that follows you or anyone in your network. It's just going out to people that don't follow you. So what do you have to lose? People that don't even know you, you're posting to. And then if you want it, if you choose, then it gives you the option to, like, choose to show it to your feed. If you want to, cool. If not, cool, you know?
- [18:05]
Courtney Johnson
Wait, I love that. And I haven't tried trial reels, so I'm going to try it.
- [18:08]
Keisha Slaughter
Try. It's actually really good because it all. I've been testing, and I like to test things out, but it's like, I'll post a trial and then it'll get sent out to say, like, 2,000 people. And then it's 2,000 people that have never viewed my content. So I'll get new followers. What? And then I'll just go ahead and post it on my feed anyway because it's something I was gonna post regardless.
- [18:24]
Courtney Johnson
Does it show up in your feed, like in your reels or whatever?
- [18:27]
Keisha Slaughter
So you'll have. It has like a trial folder. If it's in the trials, it doesn't show up on your reels, but there's an option you can go in and say it has 2,000 views and you're like, oh, let me just go ahead and show it on my page. Then you just click. There's like a button, you click and it says, share to feed.
- [18:41]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, Damn. I'm gonna try this right after.
- [18:43]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah, gonna try my trial reels. My hack.
- [18:47]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, our next cheat code is. One sec. Where's our next cheat code? Mmm.
- [18:56]
Keisha Slaughter
The evil laugh the world.
- [18:58]
Courtney Johnson
This is hard because this was really hard for me to understand. The world is one big giant mirror of how we treat ourselves.
- [19:04]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes, I know this one. When I first heard this, I was like, but what do you mean? Because we're. We're told, like, treat people how you want to be treated and, like, sure, be kind to people. I'm not saying, like, don't do that. What it is, is there's a universal law called the law of correspondence. What this means is our internal world reflects into our real. So I call it our creator filled. So think of, like, a big, giant bubble around you. However you think, feel, and see yourself is what you're programming into your energy. Whatever's in your energy is how people treat you. So if you go back to my example of, think of someone in your life that has been just, like, super critical of you. It could be a job, a boyfriend, a parent, whatever. Think back to that time. How are you being critical to yourself? And then it's like a aha moment. Like, oh, and I'm not saying, like, if someone was, like, abusing you, whatever. I'm not saying, like, it's your fault. I'm not saying that at all. But I am saying, like, oh, okay, why. Why are we a match for that? Let's just think about, oh, I'm critical of myself. Let me just change my thoughts. And so that's when I started, like, applying it. I'm like, oh, well, if I can just, you know, shift this about me, shift my energy well, then I don't have to get treated like that anymore. And so, like, people who were so critical of me are not criticizing me anymore because I'm not criticizing myself. So that's like, one way. I have a daughter, and anytime she's being chaotic, I will just. So I'm an intuitive. So I can just, like, channel her energy, her higher self. I'm like, what is going on? How is this reflecting me in some way? Nine times out of 10, it's like I'm beating myself up. So as humans, right, like, we're. We're our own worst, like, critics. And most of the time, it's like me beating myself up, beating myself up in business. Like, I think I should be doing more. And it's like, I'm doing the most, like, please. So it's nice when I see her being chaotic. Cause I'm like, oh, well, what am I doing? How am I doing this to myself. I'm being chaotic to myself. I'm beating myself up, whatever. But yeah, the easiest way is just like, think about how someone's making you feel and then think how some way you're doing it to yourself. So that's my, like, tip for everything. If someone's like, really rude to me, I'm like, okay, how did that make me feel? How am I in some way, shape or form doing this to myself and then being like, okay, I see. I'm not. Again, I'm not saying that it's your fault they are rude too. It's not. But it's just like thinking like, okay, well, maybe I could change this way I'm speaking to myself. Maybe I need to change this about my. The way I'm talking to myself or whatever.
- [21:15]
Courtney Johnson
It's also what you're putting up with, like, totally. Something that, that really blew my mind recently, like in the last few years was like, courtney, your consent, like, this does not apply to children or if someone is like, physically sequestering you. But like, you are consenting to everything in your life that real, that boss you have, that's toxic, that you hate. You're consenting to stay in that relationship. You can leave at any time. Of course it might be scary. Of course there are consequences of leaving. But by saying you are consenting, by being in this friendship where there's this girl that's really toxic, you are enabling the psych cycle of abuse and you are consenting to be an enabler of the cycle of abuse. Like, you are cons. Somebody treats you shitty, you are like, over and over and over, you're consenting to that. Like, you can remove your consent at any time. It might be scary, but like, that's, I don't know, so important to get out of like the victim mentality.
- [22:05]
Keisha Slaughter
A hundred percent. It's. I mean, coming. I was in multiple physically, mentally emotionally abusive relationships. I've been trigger warning raped. I've been all of these things. And I could have set in the victim mentality and been like, oh, poor pitiful me. I can't believe this happened. Like, was it my fault it happened? No. But I chose to get my together and be like, I'm not gonna give these people my power because if I'm miserable the rest of my life because of what you did to me, I'm putting my happiness in your hands. I think the not. I think I'm about to go blow the up in my career and see you in the dust. You know what I Mean, so it's like I started thinking differently and being like, oh, that's not gonna phase me. Like, was it unfortunate? Sure. Healed the trauma and did all of that. But, like, that's not gonna hold me back.
- [22:46]
Courtney Johnson
You know, you can alchemize it. You can take these, like, shitty things that have happened to you, share your story and, like, make bank for sure.
- [22:58]
Keisha Slaughter
Because, like, even I was cheated on recently in a relationship, and sure, like, was I pissed off? Absolutely. But again, you have to look within yourself and why. It was my own reflection was I didn't feel like a whole person. I was feeling like I was emotionally unavailable. So that's. That was like, my energy play into it. And instead of me hibernating and being like, oh, my God, that's so embarrassing. I can't believe that happened to me. I was like, I'm about to get online and we're gonna talk about it. And I did. And once I. I talked about how to heal it, I talked about all the things that I did. People were blowing me up in the comments, and they were like, thank you so much. Like, I've been cheated on. I never wanted to talk about this because, you know, it's my husband, I have kids, and this. And I was so embarrassed. And I was like, this is like a common thing that it's happening. Often we're. I don't know if it's necessarily we're taught or we just feel like we can't share. Cause it's embarrassing. Right. And then no one ever talks about the problems. We suppress, suppress, suppress. And you know how that goes. Creates chronic illness. Right, Right. But if we would just all talk about our problems. I feel like the mean girls. I just want to talk about our problems. But literally, if we would just talk about it. Like, you're helping so many people by sharing your story. No matter how silly it is, someone's been through it.
- [24:01]
Courtney Johnson
Like, yeah. I've almost made it a practice for myself of anytime something starts to feel cringe or shame, I, like, have to tell someone about it. I have to talk about it. I have to talk about online. I have to, like, make a joke about it. Something to bring it to the surface because it just, like, festers. Yeah. So tell me about the chronic illness. Like, you actually had a really intense, chronic, incurable, chronic illness that you cured. Like, how did you.
- [24:23]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah, so I had hypothyroidism. So to paint you a picture, I was 18 years old. It started out as hyper, and I was like, 98 pounds. I'm five two. So, like, it's not crazy, but like, I was a little skinny right then I got to college. My diet did change, but, like, then I gained like 30 pounds in like a month. It was like, weird. Like, okay, sure, I was eating terrible, but like, £30, it was wild. So I started going to the doctor. I had no energy. I would literally wake up at 8am to go to my class and then come home and have to nap for three hours. My hair was falling out, my eyebrows were falling out, my tongue was swollen. It was just a mess. So I go to the doctors, and doctors, like, nothing's wrong with you. I'm like, the. Do you mean, like, I'm losing my mind? They sent me to a dietitian who, by the way, was like, oh, you just drink chocolate milk. What, ma'am? So anyway, I finally, after going to the doctor for six months, they're like, oh, it's hypothyroidism. You're gonna be on this pill the rest of your life. And I'm like, you've lost your mind. So I go to a holistic doctor in Dallas. Fabulous. He was giving me like, like natural supplements. And then once I started seeing him, I got into my intuitive work that I do, and I realized that for every physical symptom, there's an emotional root cause. So you break it down by symptom and then you can heal what you're going through. So you heal the emotional route, you're not going to have the physical symptoms anymore. So I had again hypothyroidism, and I broke everything down. It'd be different per person because it's based on symptom. But for me, I. My self image was low. I felt like what I had to say wasn't valuable. I didn't feel like I was worthy of taking up space in the world again. This goes back to like, you know, being raped, being in all these abusive relationships, and it's just like, things that wore me down. But anyway, it took me. I didn't heal it overnight. Like, I didn't wake up. Oh, I worked through all my trauma. It took me probably two years to fully heal it. But now I'm on no medications at all. And I was told I would have to be on it the rest of my life to even, like, have energy to get through the day.
- [26:15]
Courtney Johnson
That's amazing. That's really incredible.
- [26:18]
Keisha Slaughter
Thank you.
- [26:19]
Courtney Johnson
I'm excited for you. I know you shared this story, but I'm excited for you to share more because I talk to so many Women that have. Yeah, auto. And autoimmune is like the most metal crazy thing because it's like literally your body's attacking itself. It's like screaming for help that there's something there.
- [26:35]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes. I was on like verge of Hashimoto's, which is autoimmune, where it's like, your thyroid's attacking yourself. Yeah, I didn't. I mean, I would have cured it regardless because again, you heal the emotional root cause, you heal the physical cause. But still I was like, whoa, this is wild.
- [26:48]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. What would you tell someone that's like, still in that victim mode of like, you know, A lot of. A lot of people come to me and being like, well, Courtney, it's easy for you to say because you're like a cute girl on the Internet. Or it's easy for you to say because you're like, whatever. You can say that about anyone. I can say case was easy for you to say because you had access to a holistic doctor. Like, whatever. People make all sorts of excuses.
- [27:09]
Keisha Slaughter
Totally.
- [27:09]
Courtney Johnson
Like, what would you tell someone that is still in that victim mentality? They like kind of wants to get out. But it's like, oh, what was me?
- [27:16]
Keisha Slaughter
Honestly, I've had a few clients like this. Like, oh, yeah. Well, it's easy for you to say. I'm like, but it's not because I've been in your shoes. I have been at the lowest of lows where I thought I was never going to get out of it, to be honest. I have felt unworthy of taking up space, showing up online like I was unworthy of a relationship and like, I had to wake up. No one can do it for you. I can sit here and tell you all the live long day, like, oh, get out of victim mentality. You can do this until you believe it yourself and you've had enough. You're not going to change your life. And once you've had enough and you're like, okay, look, how is what I've gone through actually massively benefited me? I know that's tough to hear. Also, I'll go back to rape. How did that massively benefit me? Well, it got me the out of my hometown. I would have stayed in hometown and I probably would have ended up a drug addict like everyone else that stayed there. But I didn't. I left, I moved. I made new friends. I moved on. Right. It taught me not to trust people. Well, not. I don't want to say it. Trust me. Not to touch, to trust people, but to like, not be as trusting Right. Because it ended up being, like, you know, a friend or someone that I thought was my friend. Right. So it taught me, hey, be a little bit more like, like, protective of your energy, you know, it kind of taught me that everyone doesn't have my best interest. So it gave me a lot of life lessons. And until I was at my lowest of lows and I was like, okay, how did it massively benefit me? I never would have saw that. I would have stayed in the negative, like, oh, poor, pitiful me. But it's like, you know, at some point, you got to get out of your own head, get out of your own way, find the benefit, as difficult as that is. But there's a lesson in everything you're learning. It's just how you choose to see it, you know?
- [28:43]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. This is so important. I'm. I'm actually moving through this right now. I'm. I've been in victim mode over. Over my upbringing. I grew up in an abusive situation in a cult, and I. For so many years, I'm like, oh, but that happened to me. And that's so mad. But I'm like, I alchemize that. And, yeah, it's like, given me this career where I can share this with others. Like, truly, you can alchemize any pain. You either let them continue to have power over you, or you're like this. Yeah, I'm taking back the reigns.
- [29:14]
Keisha Slaughter
Exactly. Because what do I look like giving you my power? Please, Please.
- [29:20]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, our last cheat code is we don't manifest what we want, we manifest what we are. What does that mean?
- [29:27]
Keisha Slaughter
So we manifest what we feel, which is what we are. But. So if you. Let me give you a good example. Okay, you want money, but you think everyone in the world that has money is an asshole, and you think that money is the root of all evil. Well, riddle me how you're going to manifest money. Why. Why would money come to you if you think it's evil?
- [29:48]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [29:48]
Keisha Slaughter
You know what I mean? So it's just, like, changing your thoughts around it. So if you want to manifest money. Okay, well, is every person in the world that has money evil?
- [29:56]
Courtney Johnson
No.
- [29:57]
Keisha Slaughter
Okay, well, if you were a millionaire, could you choose to donate a certain percentage to a foundation of your choice and help them? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so is the root of evil all money is the root of whatever.
- [30:09]
Courtney Johnson
I said, is money always the root of all evil?
- [30:12]
Keisha Slaughter
There we go. Tongue twister. Like, is it. No, it's not. It's just an amplifier. So if you're an evil person, sure, it's going to amplify that. But if you're a good person and you're going to do good with it, it's an amplifier. It's what you are. So it's like people have this crazy mindset of, like, they'll even go back to, like, childhood, where it's like, oh, everything's too expensive. I can't have that. And it's kind of just reworking and debunking those belief. Like, I grew up in a household where, oh, we can't afford that. And so, like. Like, even now, sometimes I'll catch myself. I've worked through a lot of it, but I'll still catch myself. Like, I can't afford that. And then I'm like, it's 25. What do you mean? What do you mean? But it's like going back, you know, when I was seven years old, trying to get something at the store. Mom's like, we can't afford that right now, honey. So it's just, like, working through. Like, is it true that you can't afford it, or are you in, like, a limited mindset? I'm not saying go out and spend your whole money on, like, craziness, but just, like, rewiring the mindset that you have around it anyway. Manifesting what feel. So if you feel abundant, you feel like money's flowing to you, feel like it's easy to make, you're going to create more of that versus the opposite of money's root of all evil. Money's hard to make. You know, you get the gist.
- [31:16]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, I love that. I think it's so important on money because I think money is, like, one of the most difficult things to, like, alchemize and overcome. Because we don't have a lot of good examples.
- [31:25]
Keisha Slaughter
Like, totally.
- [31:26]
Courtney Johnson
We can see, oh, I have a great example of this relationship, and I can overcome this relationship thing, or I have a great example of this person in my life that's, like, physically healthy. You need to find examples of money because our prominent, like, famous examples are not great examples. So you need to find examples in your life. Find examples on social media of people that are doing great things with money. But I think of money like an entity that you need to form a relationship with. And if I was. If. If it was you, if you are embodying the money entity of money, and I'm like, keisha, I hate you. You've never been there for me. You're the worst friend ever. You suck. And you're literally the root of all evil. And everybody that touches you is. Gets like, infected by your toxic shit. You. And then. And then the next day I'd be like, keisha, why don' over for dinner.
- [32:05]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah.
- [32:05]
Courtney Johnson
You're like, because you're talking shit about me yesterday. Like, that's what you would say. You wouldn't be like, oh, I'm so excited. No, if you're talking to money like that, like, exactly. Well, fudge you.
- [32:15]
Keisha Slaughter
Like, I'm not going to her house. Fuck her.
- [32:17]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, exactly. Like, you gotta rewire that shit. It's really hard. Do you know about, like, money? Energetic, energetic minimums.
- [32:26]
Keisha Slaughter
Yes. So everyone has an energetic minimum and an energetic maximum. And your energetic minimum can be in the negative. So it's like, if you look at it month to month, month, you have an energetic minimum and a maximum programmed into your energy. The minimum is going to be like the minimum that you could see yourself ever making that month. So say it's $2,000, right? And then you have your maximum of say it's $10,000. So then you're gonna end up. You're not gonna go over 10. You're not gonna below 2. That's like your leeway, I guess. But anyway, that's energetic minimum, maximum. Now, they can change too, right? Because if you're trying to grow money, you want to grow your maximum. You don't want to stay at 10k the rest of your life. And it's just re safe. Because a lot of people, they don't even feel safe with money. Like, if I wrote you a 400, 000 check right now and gave it to you, like, would you feel safe or would you be like, I'm like, cringe up, you know?
- [33:16]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah, you're right. My whole body would probably. Would probably tense up.
- [33:19]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah.
- [33:20]
Courtney Johnson
But if you. If you paid me, like, $2,000 or something.
- [33:22]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah.
- [33:22]
Courtney Johnson
You wouldn't be like, whatever.
- [33:24]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah, exactly. So it's just like reworking, like, what you're comfortable with. And a lot of people are like, oh, if I got a million today, I'd be excited. It's like, would you. Or would your body tense up? And then you're like, I'm going to lose it tomorrow, you know? And it turns into that whole thing, like, you know, people that won the lottery and they blow it in a year. Like, that's why. Because they don't know how to hold onto it. They're scared of it. And it's like, they just like, spend it, spin it, spend it, because they're scared of it. Just Very interesting.
- [33:45]
Courtney Johnson
It is interesting. I. Okay, so I took on this, like, part time gig that was like a ton of money. It was like a hundred dollars an hour for, like four hours. I don't know, whatever this was a few years ago. It was $13,000 a month. And I. I know I worked for them for like a year, and it, like, raised my energetic minimum to $13,000. Where, like, even if I didn't do anything else.
- [34:05]
Keisha Slaughter
Right. You were somehow meeting that somehow.
- [34:07]
Courtney Johnson
But at scary, I was like, oh, this is like a lot of money. I don't know how to handle it. Whatever. And then I've like, raised my energetic minimum of money since then. But it's crazy. Like, now it's like my business will bring in, like, $30,000 and I will literally, like, not even launch something one month, not even do anything. But somehow, because, like, an invoice is late that just happens to be like, I didn't go one single month in 2024 without making less than $30,000 in my business. And, like, I didn't even. And I didn't even do some of the months. Like, it literally was raising my energy.
- [34:39]
Keisha Slaughter
Your energy? Yeah.
- [34:40]
Courtney Johnson
And it will literally be like, the bank account is at like $19,000 until, like, the very last day of the month. And then I'll check it the next day and I'll be like, what the.
- [34:47]
Keisha Slaughter
Somehow all these payments come in and you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot about those.
- [34:51]
Courtney Johnson
You know, literally I'm like, what?
- [34:52]
Keisha Slaughter
Or like, one time, this was wild. So my energetics around, like, 15, and I think I was around, like, 10. And so, like, I had a client. I forgot about, like, months and months ago, like, she was supposed to pay me. Something happened. She couldn't pay me. Forgot about her. She showed up, paid me in full, and I was like, oh, my God, I just hit my. Like, she came out of nowhere for me to hit my maximum. I was like, wow.
- [35:13]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [35:13]
Keisha Slaughter
Loved that.
- [35:14]
Courtney Johnson
Love that. Well, I actually used to have a negative energetic.
- [35:18]
Keisha Slaughter
Oh, okay.
- [35:19]
Courtney Johnson
Or like, it evened out. Like, we. I worked with Keisha on this, by the way. If you guys are struggling with debt, go do a session with Keisha because your session really is what, like, got me out of debt. Basically. I'd been in debt $32,000 two different times. And even though I was, like, making money in my business or, like, making money, whatever, I still would have always be $32,000 in debt. And, like, $32,000 in debt. Paid it all off, got back in debt $32,000. And when we were working together, we kind of identified that. Like, I had a lot, a lot of guilt around this number because my parents were like, we paid for your college, and it was $32,000. So you owe us, like, X, Y, and Z. And so we had to do some work around, like, uncovering that. But it is like, I felt really safe and comfortable having debt. And whenever I, like, zeroed out and stopped having debt, it felt really uncomfortable to step into that. So even though I wanted. I didn't want to have debt, it was more comfortable to have it.
- [36:10]
Keisha Slaughter
Totally. It's just like a mindset. Like, you're used to seeing it, right? And so it's like, oh, like, it's a good feeling, obviously, but still, if you're uncomfortable, like, it's just going to come right back. Or if you're, like, always focused on debt. Because again, the law of focus is what you're focusing on. You're getting more of. So, like, say, for example, you're shopping for a red car. Right. And you've never seen a lot of red cars, but now that you're focused on red cars, see red cards everywhere, same thing. So if you're focusing on debt, you're going to see it grow, grow, grow, grow, grow over time, versus if you flip it and you're like, oh, I'm not going to focus on this. I'm going to focus what I'm bringing in. You'll see it slowly start to diminish. But yeah, to your point, like, if you're like, an energetic match for $32,000 in debt, you're going to hold on to it no matter what. You can pay it off two months later, it'll be back.
- [36:48]
Courtney Johnson
Well, it's not back, thanks to you. I have another cheat code or maybe just something to think about. And that is a good way to know that you're not, like, an energetic match for money, for good things, for opportunities to come to you, is if you can't take compliments.
- [37:04]
Keisha Slaughter
Oh, totally.
- [37:05]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [37:06]
Keisha Slaughter
Like, if you can't receive a compliment, like, if you're uncomfortable, like, you know, oh, my God, I used to do this. This is why I laugh at it. But, like, you know when you're wearing a dress and someone's like, oh, my God, I love your dress. Instead of being like, oh, my God, thank you. I'm like, oh, it has pockets.
- [37:18]
Courtney Johnson
You know, mean things. It has pockets. Or people would be like, oh, thanks. I got on sale. It was only $40.
- [37:23]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah. From Target or whatever. And, like, like, cuz we're so uncomfortable with receiving. And like, in my relationship, oh my God, my boyfriend, he used to always go out and he'd get me like, Lululemon leggings and like, really nice gifts. And I'd be like, I was mean. I'd be like, don't buy me. I can buy my own stuff. And it's like, it was because I was so uncomfortable receiving, so I had to, like, open that up because. Yeah. How's money going to come to me if I don't want to receive anything?
- [37:46]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. The first thing I ask people, if they're like, I. I want to manifest more money.
- [37:49]
Keisha Slaughter
I'm like, are you open to receiving?
- [37:51]
Courtney Johnson
How do you take a compliment if somebody is like, hey, you did this really well? What would you say if somebody's like, oh, you look nice today. Like, what would you say of the time? They're like, oh, I would probably get really uncomfortable. But they usually will be like, well, it's because it's not about me. It's because I don't want. I'm like, it's fucking about you. Anyway, if you're having a hard time manifesting money, maybe just start with accepting compliments and not pushing them away.
- [38:10]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah. Step number one, receive a compliment. Let me know how that goes.
- [38:14]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [38:15]
Keisha Slaughter
Get to the point where you're like, okay, I like compliments. That was great. Thank you. That's why I say thank you. Just receive it.
- [38:21]
Courtney Johnson
Thank you. Or even just like, somebody gives you a discount, somebody gives you like, something. Somebody's giving you something tiny instead of being like, oh, no, I don't deserve this. Like, like, thank you.
- [38:30]
Keisha Slaughter
And you don't have to give them anything back.
- [38:31]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah.
- [38:32]
Keisha Slaughter
You know, that was a big thing for me too, is like, I would have one of my friends be like, oh, here's access to my course. I'm like, oh, well, here's access to mine. It's like, just thank you, you know?
- [38:39]
Courtney Johnson
Yeah. Period.
- [38:40]
Keisha Slaughter
Yeah.
- [38:41]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, that's all of our cheat codes. But, Keisha, what type of people do you want to work with? People that are listening to this are like, all right, Keisha, I want to work with you. I need to, like, work through my energetic shit. Like, what are the types of things that they can work with you on?
- [38:52]
Keisha Slaughter
Totally. Money's always a good one. Fear of being seen. Honestly, if you have any blocks in anything, like, I'm really good, but I use my intuition to channel what your perceived block is. So I'll have a lot of people come to me and they're like, you know, it's. I'm making this up, but, like, fear being seen, and then it actually ties into their self image somehow. So, like, maybe you think it's one thing, but it's actually another. Anyway, by me, using my intuition, I'm taking the guesswork out of it. So I'm able to break it down for you, give you tangible tools to heal it. Obviously, self image is a big one. I've said that a million times.
- [39:23]
Courtney Johnson
Moms.
- [39:24]
Keisha Slaughter
I love working with moms. Moms. I have a program called milfu, and I just love helping moms heal their. So basically, if you're ready to uplevel your life in some way and you feel blocked or stuck, like, let me help you. I'd love to help.
- [39:38]
Courtney Johnson
Beautiful. Well, where can they find you?
- [39:40]
Keisha Slaughter
You can find me on Instagram at Kaisha K a I s h a slaughter. Like slaughter a pig. I know it's aggressive, but that's what I was born with. And TikTok Keisha slaughter. And then my website by kasiaslaughter.com so amazing.
- [39:55]
Courtney Johnson
Thank you so much. Keisha, you're awesome. Thanks for coming all the way to Austin.
- [39:58]
Keisha Slaughter
Oh, my God, of course.
- [39:59]
Courtney Johnson
Okay, y'all, if you like this episode, you would love, love my Patreon. Okay? You get exclusive access to me, exclusive content, tons of other resources, and a lot of juicy.
- [40:13]
Keisha Slaughter
Okay?
- [40:13]
Courtney Johnson
So I hope to see you on my Patreon.
- [40:17]
Keisha Slaughter
It.