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Someone asked me recently to do an episode on worry and I think it's a great topic. So let's begin at the beginning. What is worry? Well, obviously we have concerns in our lives about ourselves, loved ones, and even the world at large. And those thoughts of concern cause us to secrete stress hormones which make our bodies tense. And that tension generally causes us to have more thoughts or concerns. So your body and mind begin to play off one another, reinforcing the tension. Hang out in this loop for a while and you're experiencing full blown worry. And remember that your subconscious mind is a learning machine, a habit forming machine, and it never sits still. So when you worry a lot, you get better and better at bingo. Worrying. Your subconscious mind is just refining it into a habit, just like it refined walking and talking, and you may even begin to identify with anxiety or worry. It's like a motor inside of you with real momentum. And it can feel difficult to stop, at least from the level of the conscious mind. But wait, Jessica, rewind. Aren't we supposed to worry about things? Isn't it a sign that I'm a good person if I worry about things? Well, this is a fair question. I think it's perfectly natural to have concerns about the world and our lives and the people we love. It makes a lot of sense to care. But caring is not the same thing as worrying. It's possible to care deeply without getting yourself tied in a knot, or at least an endless growing knot. And although it will require some practice to undo those knots that you may have gotten yourself into, you can, and maybe you have some resistance to that, some belief system that relaxing when there are problems in the world or when people you care about are suffering is unethical or cold. But it's not a sin to practice relaxation when you or someone you love has a problem. With all respect to you, worry, complete with your tense body and whirling obsessive thoughts, probably isn't helping to solve the problem. If anything, it may just prolong things. What I want you to know is that the subconscious mind is not only a habit former, it's also a healer and a problem solver. So the more relaxed you become, the more your subconscious mind can get creative and sort things out. By relaxing, you can get needed perspective, hear the whisper of your intuition, or conjure positive energy to send to your loved one. Like I said, detachment from the problem is not a crime. In fact, it may help.
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All that said, sometimes we simply get.
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Gripped by fear and we don't have some magic wand. We can wave to switch off the nervous system and that's okay. That's just life. I'm just trying to introduce the idea that it is possible to relax around that intensity instead of feeding into.
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Is.
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Possible to set your worries aside for a while to allow your subconscious mind and those of others to work things out. Most of the things we worry about end up okay in the end. It's good to remember that.
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Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible.
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Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other. When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a 4 liter jug. When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.
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Oh come on.
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They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip. Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool. Whatever you were made to outdo your holidays. We were made to help organize the competition.
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Host: Jessica Porter
Release Date: September 14, 2025
This episode, hosted by experienced hypnotherapist Jessica Porter, delves deep into the nature of worry: its roots, its habitual quality, its physical and emotional manifestation, and—most importantly—how to compassionately detach from its grip. Jessica explores the difference between healthy concern and unhelpful worry, debunks the myth that worrying is a moral obligation, and presents practical wisdom on cultivating healthier mental and emotional habits. The episode is a blend of psychological insight and gentle, hypnotic encouragement for those seeking relief from insomnia or nighttime anxiety.
(00:11 – 02:43)
(02:44 – 03:46)
(03:10 – 04:09)
(03:46 – 04:35)
On Habit Formation:
"Your subconscious mind is just refining it into a habit, just like it refined walking and talking, and you may even begin to identify with anxiety or worry. It’s like a motor inside of you with real momentum."
— Jessica Porter (01:10)
On Releasing Guilt for Relaxing:
“With all respect to you, worry, complete with your tense body and whirling obsessive thoughts, probably isn't helping to solve the problem. If anything, it may just prolong things.”
— Jessica Porter (02:25)
On the Power of Letting Go:
"The more relaxed you become, the more your subconscious mind can get creative and sort things out."
— Jessica Porter (03:14)
On Facing Fear:
“We don’t have some magic wand...That’s just life. I’m just trying to introduce the idea that it is possible to relax around that intensity instead of feeding into it.”
— Jessica Porter (03:49)
On Trusting Outcomes:
"Most of the things we worry about end up okay in the end. It’s good to remember that."
— Jessica Porter (04:23)
| Timestamp | Segment Title / Content | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:11 | Defining worry, the cycle of stress and the subconscious | | 01:10 | How worry becomes a habit | | 01:40 | The difference between caring and worrying | | 03:14 | How relaxation aids problem-solving | | 03:49 | Accepting the presence of fear and not feeding it | | 04:09 | Setting worries aside—permission to detach | | 04:23 | Reassurance that most worries resolve |
In this gentle, insightful episode, Jessica Porter reframes worry as a habit of the subconscious—one that is understandable but ultimately unproductive. She offers permission and encouragement to care deeply about life and loved ones without becoming entangled in knots of anxiety, underscoring the healing and creative power of a more relaxed mind. Anyone struggling to fall asleep because of a racing mind can find both reassurance and practical wisdom here.
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