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So tonight we have an interesting episode. Someone named Johanna on Instagram asked for an episode about grief and how we handle grief, and I think it's a great topic because we all have to handle grief at different points in our lives. So I'm no expert on the topic, but I have experienced grief and I want to share what I know about it. 1. Grief is real. It's not an idea. When we experience loss, we experience grief. It's an energy that has to be processed and there's no getting around it. We're talking ourselves out of it. Grief affects the endocrine, immune, autonomic, nervous and cardiovascular systems of the body. Grief is big and it has its own schedule. And if I don't let myself feel it, things can get weird and it comes out in different ways. 2. Grief sucks. It's painful. We have neurons in our heart and in our gut and in our brains and they all feel pain. It's no accident that we reserve words like wailing and keening and the concept of the rending of garments when we talk about grief. But as awful as it can feel, we are designed to withstand it. In fact, experiencing grief makes us stronger and deeper and more compassionate toward others. Grief is a part of life. 3. Grief is tricky. When I'm grieving, it feels like it will never end. It's like this weird illusion that comes with it. I can try to make it end or judge myself that it's going on longer than I think it should, but grief takes grief's time. Just like puberty takes its time and pregnancy takes its time. And those are just the rules. 4. Grief does end and life moves on. Thank goodness. 5. And then grief comes back. Grief comes in waves, and in between the waves, the brain feels some relief. While it rewires itself with every wave of grief, it tends to get lighter and I can handle it better, but it's never fun and I'm never in control of it. 6. We don't just feel grief around the big obvious things. We can also feel grief about little things like the daily passage of time or getting older, or not getting something we wanted. And we can even grieve fantasies that are unfulfilled to the subconscious mind. There is no distinction between fact and fantasy. So losing something we only fantasized about or thought we'd get can bring actual pain. 7. Finally, when I'm avoiding grief and just trying to tamp it down, I put on an episode of Grey's Anatomy. There's always some tear jerky storyline that gets me going and it's always a relief to cry. Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible.
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Sleep Magic: Guided Sleep Hypnosis & Meditation
Episode: A Hypnotherapist On...Grief
Host: Jessica Porter
Release Date: June 22, 2025
In this poignant episode of Sleep Magic, hypnotherapist Jessica Porter delves deep into the intricate emotions surrounding grief. Addressing a request from a listener named Johanna on Instagram, Jessica provides a compassionate exploration of grief's multifaceted nature, offering both personal insights and therapeutic perspectives to help listeners navigate their own experiences with loss.
Jessica begins by affirming the tangible nature of grief, emphasizing that it is not merely an abstract concept but a profound energy that must be acknowledged and processed.
“Grief is real. It's not an idea. When we experience loss, we experience grief. It's an energy that has to be processed and there's no getting around it.” [00:12]
She elaborates on how grief permeates various bodily systems, including the endocrine, immune, autonomic, nervous, and cardiovascular systems. This holistic impact underscores the importance of addressing grief comprehensively to prevent its manifestations from derailing one's overall well-being.
“Grief affects the endocrine, immune, autonomic, nervous and cardiovascular systems of the body.” [00:15]
Acknowledging the deep pain associated with grief, Jessica doesn't shy away from its intensity. She uses vivid imagery to convey the pervasive ache that accompanies loss, noting the emotional and physical toll it takes.
“Grief sucks. It's painful. We have neurons in our heart and in our gut and in our brains and they all feel pain.” [00:20]
Despite its harshness, Jessica offers a silver lining by highlighting human resilience. She asserts that experiencing grief can ultimately lead to greater strength, depth, and compassion, framing it as an integral part of the human experience.
“In fact, experiencing grief makes us stronger and deeper and more compassionate toward others.” [00:22]
Grief’s tricky and enduring nature is another focal point of the discussion. Jessica shares the common misconception that grief has a definitive endpoint, comparing its timeline to natural processes like puberty and pregnancy, both of which require time and patience.
“Grief takes grief's time. Just like puberty takes its time and pregnancy takes its time.” [00:24]
She candidly discusses the illusion that grief feels infinite, reassuring listeners that with time, while grief may resurface, its weight lessens, allowing individuals to manage it more effectively.
“Grief comes in waves, and in between the waves, the brain feels some relief.” [00:25]
Jessica paints a realistic picture of grief's cyclical nature, explaining how it ebbs and flows rather than following a linear path. Each wave of grief contributes to the brain’s rewiring, gradually making the pain more bearable over time, even as the feeling of control remains elusive.
“While it rewires itself with every wave of grief, it tends to get lighter and I can handle it better, but it's never fun and I'm never in control of it.” [00:27]
Expanding the conversation, Jessica explores the less obvious forms of grief that people might experience. These include the sorrow tied to the passage of time, aging, unmet desires, and even the loss of imagined or anticipated futures. She emphasizes that the subconscious mind treats these imagined losses with the same intensity as actual ones, blurring the lines between fact and fantasy.
“There is no distinction between fact and fantasy. So losing something we only fantasized about or thought we'd get can bring actual pain.” [00:29]
In sharing her personal coping strategies, Jessica reveals her method of embracing vulnerability through emotional outlets. She humorously mentions her tendency to watch tear-jerking episodes of Grey's Anatomy as a way to facilitate crying and release built-up grief.
“When I'm avoiding grief and just trying to tamp it down, I put on an episode of Grey's Anatomy. There's always some tear jerky storyline that gets me going and it's always a relief to cry.” [00:31]
Throughout the episode, Jessica reinforces the idea that grief is an unavoidable and natural part of life. By understanding its nature, acknowledging its impact, and finding healthy ways to process it, individuals can navigate their grief journeys more effectively. The episode serves as a comforting guide for those grappling with loss, offering both validation and practical insights to foster healing.
This episode of Sleep Magic offers a heartfelt and informative exploration of grief, blending personal experience with therapeutic wisdom. Jessica Porter provides listeners with a compassionate roadmap to understanding and processing their grief, ultimately promoting healing and personal growth.