Sleep Magic: Episode Summary - Grief, Hangxiety, and Your Partner’s Instagram Likes

Podcast Information:

• Title: Sleep Magic: Sleep Hypnosis & Meditation for Sleep Podcast
• Host/Author: Sleepiest: Hypnosis for Sleep Podcast, hosted by hypnotherapist Jessica Porter
• Episode Title: Grief, Hang-xiety, and your Partner’s Instagram Likes 💌 Magic Mailbag
• Release Date: July 23, 2025

Introduction

In this heartwarming and insightful episode of Sleep Magic, host Jessica Porter delves into the personal challenges faced by listeners through the Mailbag segment. This episode specifically addresses three pressing concerns: maintaining long-distance relationships, coping with the loss of a spouse, and navigating the complexities of a partner's online interactions, particularly Instagram likes. Jessica brings her extensive experience in hypnotherapy to offer compassionate advice and practical strategies for emotional wellness and restful sleep.

Listener Question 1: Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

Question from Quilted Kitty Cat: "Could you give me some advice on long distance relationships?"
(00:34)

Discussion & Insights:

Jessica and her co-host explore the dynamics of long-distance relationships (LDRs), distinguishing between relationships that start at a distance versus those where distance becomes a factor later on.

• Excitement and Adrenaline in LDRs:

  • Jessica Porter (04:23): "Built into the distance part is a longing for one another and even a mystery about one another that can heighten the attraction and the pleasure, at least at first."
  • The initial phase of LDRs is often fueled by heightened desire and the thrill of the unknown, driven by the release of hormones like oxytocin and adrenaline.

• Settling Down Phase:

  • Over time, relationships typically transition from the adrenaline rush to a more stable, oxytocin-driven bond. LDRs can interfere with this natural settling down process, making it challenging to build the same depth of intimacy found in geographically close relationships.

• Pros of Long-Distance Relationships:

  • Heightened Desire and Longing: Maintains excitement and prevents quick boredom.
  • Independence: Allows both partners to maintain personal space and autonomy.

• Cons of Long-Distance Relationships:

  • Emotional Strain: Longing can turn from romantic to painful, leading to insecurity and self-destructive behaviors.
  • Distrust: Physical absence can breed doubt and jealousy if not managed properly.

• Practical Strategies:

  • Enhanced Communication: Establishing clear and intentional communication routines is crucial.
  • Incorporate "Boring Time": Engage in mundane activities together virtually, such as cooking or paying bills, to build a sense of normalcy and shared daily life.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Porter (05:13): "But a long term, healthy relationship generally goes through this settling down phase."
• Co-host (08:29): "But most of all, I think it's about not being able to settle into that more grounded, sometimes boring phase, which is actually where lots of trust and bonding is built."

Listener Question 2: Coping with the Loss of a Spouse

Question from Jaylynd: "My husband of 60 years just passed away. I married at 16. Besides mourning, I don't know who I am. I've always been a wife."
(13:06)

Discussion & Insights:

Jessica offers profound insights into the grieving process, especially for individuals who have spent a significant portion of their lives in a marital role.

• Identity and Loss:

  • Losing a spouse often means losing a significant part of one's identity, especially if the relationship started young and was central to personal development.
  • Jessica Porter (14:44): "When we lose someone close to us, we lose a part of ourselves."

• Rediscovering Self:

  • Emotional Skills: Empathy, endurance, forgiveness, patience, cooperation, and other skills honed through marriage remain valuable and are part of one's core identity.
  • Practical Skills: Daily tasks and responsibilities managed during the marriage, such as cooking, organizing, and managing household duties, are now solitary skills to be recognized and utilized.

• Embracing Change:

  • Continuous Growth: Acknowledging that personal growth will continue independently of the spouse.
  • New Connections: Encouraging the formation of new relationships and support systems to aid in the healing process.

• Support Systems:

  • Connecting with Others: Engaging with individuals who have experienced similar losses can provide catharsis and mutual support.
  • Emotional Expression: Embracing the new ways to love and remember the deceased, allowing the connection to transform rather than disappear.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Porter (15:18): "You have been changing your entire life, from the day you were born through childhood and then when you were 16, being with this person, changing through this relationship."
• Co-host (21:56): "Finally, ... as she grieves, remember that you can now learn to love your husband in a new way."

Listener Question 3: Concerns About Partner’s Instagram Likes

Question from Mia: "My husband doesn't know I can see his likes on Instagram. It's full of gym bunnies in revealing poses. Do I bring it up? Is it important?"
(23:06)

Discussion & Insights:

This segment tackles the modern complications introduced by social media into intimate relationships, emphasizing the importance of trust and communication.

• The Impact of Social Media:

  • Ubiquity of Attention: Social media platforms like Instagram make it easy for partners to engage with others, sometimes leading to feelings of insecurity.
  • Energy Drain: Jessica likens relationships to plants that require nourishment; excessive online interactions can divert emotional energy away from the primary relationship.

• Trust and Boundaries:

  • Assessing Trust Levels: Evaluating whether the partner is trustworthy and how they handle online engagements.
  • Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear agreements about social media interactions to protect the relationship's integrity.
  • Communication: Encouraging open dialogues about how social media affects each partner emotionally and what compromises may be necessary.

• Personal Reflection:

  • Self-Awareness: Understanding one's own feelings and insecurities about the partner’s online behavior.
  • Mutual Agreement: Both partners should agree on boundaries that respect and strengthen their connection.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Porter (25:30): "The subconscious mind does not distinguish between fact and fantasy, doesn't distinguish between the digital or the real world."
• Co-host (29:43): "It's not about her being controlling. It's about her knowing herself and wanting to actively protect their connection."

Conclusion

In this episode of Sleep Magic, Jessica Porter addresses complex emotional issues with empathy and practical advice. Whether it's maintaining love across distances, finding oneself after profound loss, or navigating the intricacies of modern social interactions, Jessica provides listeners with the tools to foster emotional wellness and achieve restful sleep. Her compassionate guidance encourages self-reflection, open communication, and the cultivation of healthy relationships, all essential for a balanced and peaceful life.

Join the Conversation: If you have questions or personal experiences you'd like to share, Jessica invites you to reach out through HelloSleepMagic FM or the Ask Me Anything feature on their Supercast link. Engage with the community, gain support, and continue your journey toward better sleep and emotional well-being.

Support the Podcast: Consider becoming a subscriber to unlock extended content, bonus episodes, and support the creation of more transformative episodes like this one.

Sleep well and take care of your emotional health.