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Hi, I'm Jessica Porter and welcome back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Thank you so much everybody for being here. Thank thank you for listening, spreading the word, and spreading the vibe. I'm going to cut to the chase tonight because it's one of those nights where I have a long introduction, because tonight's topic is Handling rejection. Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible. Hey, Sleep Magic listeners. You know how much I care about helping you feel calm, centered and at ease, especially at night. But sometimes things like anxiety, grief or stress need a different kind of support, beyond what sleep hypnosis can offer. I've been in therapy myself for many years, and these days I check in with my therapist when I feel stuck, overwhelmed, or just need a safe space to sort through what's going on. Therapy's been a lifeline for me, and I truly believe in its power to help you feel supported and more in control of your inner world. And that's why I want to introduce you to Rula. They make it incredibly easy to find a licensed therapist who's right for you. No endless searching, no confusing paperwork. Just answer a few questions and Rula matches you with a therapist, often someone who takes your insurance so you can pay as little as $15 a session. You can even book your first appointment as soon as tomorrow. So if therapy has been on your mind, this might be the nudge you've been waiting for. Thousands have already trusted Rula with their mental health, and now you can too. So head on over to rula.com sleepmagic to get started today. After you sign up, they'll ask you where you heard about them. So please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Go to r u l a.com sleepmagic and take the first step towards better mental health. Today you deserve quality care from someone who cares. A listener named Cecilia recently requested an episode on handling rejection, and I think it's a great topic. So here are my thoughts. First, rejection sucks. No one likes it. At worst, it really hurts. And we have to grieve for whatever we've lost, even if it's a fantasy, the relationship, the job, etc. And at best, we learn to brush it off. But it's still never fun. Second, rejection happens. You can't go through life without experiencing some kind of rejection. It's really part of being human, and sometimes a big part. I've Spent parts of my life being a working actor, and I had to really make friends with rejection, discovering mental strategies for handling it, because in that profession, rejection happens way more than acceptance does. But there are other examples, like politicians lose races and then dust themselves off and run again. And then if they eventually win, a big percentage of the electorate still rejected them. That's a lot of rejection. And in case you never thought of it this way, for every Oscar winner there are five nominees who are rejected. Musicians put out albums that we don't like and don't buy, the best athletes in the world get traded to lesser teams, and divorce happens, like, a lot. Maybe we shouldn't even call it rejection, which sounds pretty painful and personal. Maybe we should just call it selection or choosing. Choices get made and no one gets chosen every time. And many of these choices, even when they hurt, make a sort of sense. When I've been rejected in personal relationships, I often look back about six months later and think, oh yeah, we're on completely different paths. No wonder that didn't work. The differences between us, which I couldn't see or refused to see in the throes of the passionate feelings, were crystal clear in retrospect. And that's when I see that the other person was making the choice that was right for them. And it turned out to be right for me too. When I'm rejected by someone, even if I totally adore them, the relationship, at least as I envisioned it, wasn't meant to be. And some bigger plan is just revealing itself. And that's good. Third, rejection makes us grow. Every rejection is teaching you something about yourself and what you want, and just as importantly, what you don't want. And over time, rejection can make you stronger. If you've been rejected in the same way a few times or are hearing the same feedback, it's time to let the rejection be a teacher. When an athlete loses a match, they learn from it. They get better. And when we are rejected, it might be a call to improve ourselves. Let it help you grow. Fourth, you are doing the rejecting too. Everything is about choices. We're all making choices all the time, and we have to say no to things in order to discover what we really want. So when you feel rejected, remember that you also say no to people and things and ideas all the time. We are allowed to say no. And in fact, saying no when we really mean it is one of the most important and empowering aspects of our lives. When rejection is personal or it represents a big loss, it hurts. And it's best to get some support around that. Whenever a friend goes through a breakup, I call them more often and tell them they need some babysitting. And I use that word, babysitting. They need coddling. Maybe someone should stay over at their house for a few nights. Maybe everyone needs to call them every day and just let them vent. Who cry? Rejection can expose deep vulnerabilities and we need lots of love and support in those times. But the long term hedge against rejection is to love yourself and your life. To keep your cup full so that no one can dump the whole thing over. At least not for long. Not only will building your self love probably mean you face fewer rejections, because people who love themselves are quite attractive and bring good energy to the mix. It won't hurt as badly because you'll realize that your life begins and ends with your feelings about it, that you're not at the mercy of the opinions of others, that at your center is a big, abundant fountain of unlimited energy, and that not only will you be.
