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Jessica Porter
Hi, I'm Jessica Porter and welcome back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Thank you everybody for being here. I have kind of a long intro tonight, so I'm just going to get straight to it. For those of you who are new here, we will get to the sleep hypnosis, I promise. So if you just want to close your eyes as I read this intro, it's really all part of the same theme. Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible. Hey Sleep Magic listeners. You know I love sharing things that make life simpler. So let's talk about something we all data. Do you say data or data? Well, I'm Canadian and I say data and I use my data constantly browsing ideas for the show, catching up with Team Magic and staying connected while I travel. And for years I was paying way too much for data without even thinking about it. Then I found Mint Mobile and when I joined, I got three months of premium wireless for just $15 a month with plenty of high speed data, unlimited talk and text all on the nation's largest 5G network. I've been a Mint Mobile customer since September of last year, so getting to introduce you to it feels like a perfect fit. When I switched, it was so easy. I kept my phone, my number, my coverage to just without the overpriced bill. And now Mint Mobile has given Sleep Magic listeners a special treat. You can get three months of premium wireless for just $15 a month. No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it. Shop Data plans@mintmobile.com SleepMagic that's mintmobile.com SleepMagic Upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
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Jessica Porter
Okay, Setting Healthy Boundaries what the heck is a personal boundary? Well, in life we have some examples of some very real boundaries. Our homes are boundaries, schedules are boundaries, rules are boundaries, laws are boundaries. These limits and parameters may feel constrictive at times, but they also let us relax into them. Boundaries are actually very freeing. They give shape and structure to our lives. But what about the boundaries in our personal lives, the ones we require for healthy relationships? For years, I struggled with boundaries. I saw others put up their boundaries and was often baffled by how they did it. And sometimes really easily, like, how do I put up this weird invisible fence? And then how do I communicate that it's there in the moment? It seemed like a really conceptual thing to me. For a very long time, I tried to set my boundaries, but just as quickly I would forget them or realize they weren't working when someone trampled all over them. And I'm not surprised I was challenged in this area because unlike rules that are written down in corporate manuals or in the law books, personal boundaries are mostly invisible, even to ourselves. Creating boundaries requires really listening to my inner self and discerning what feels good and what feels not so good, and then reporting on my feelings to myself and to those around me. And that can be tricky. And then I realized setting boundaries was all about one fundamental thing. Telling the truth. Telling my truth. Now I just want to say I'm not a professional in this area, and I'm just talking from my experience, so take what you like and leave the rest. But let's rewind for a second. A while ago, I realized that the truth is not an idea. The truth is more like a force. Like it contains energy. I'm not sure how to express this better, except to say that our personal truths line up with our inner selves, our nervous systems, and when they get expressed, they have an impact. A truth being told can make us sigh with relief or stare in shock. The truth has power. The power to enlighten, to empower, or to even hurt others. The truth can shake up entire lives and rewrite old stories. That said, the truth is often not that dramatic. It can just be. I'm thirsty. But still, that lines up with a visceral reality inside of me. It's not just an opinion or a thought. Because the truth has power, I sometimes hesitate to tell it. Perhaps acknowledging my truth will reveal my anger or make others angry. I don't want to be rejected or perceived as a bad person. But over time, that becomes a trap. Because the world is always arranging itself around me and responding to what I do and what I say. And if I'm lying to the world, it will begin to arrange itself in weird ways that don't serve my growth or the growth of others. And by the way, feelings are impossible to really hide completely. When I don't express myself directly, those truths and feelings tend to come out in other ways. So, back to boundaries. I finally discovered that when I tell my truth, it automatically sets a boundary. It rearranges the situation. When I say I'm uncomfortable with this conversation and I'd like it to end now, boom. That's a boundary. I may need to say it again, but I have said my truth and I have expressed my limits, and the other person has felt my truth. Because, like I said, the truth is not an idea, it's a force. Telling the truth sets up a little force field that gives the other person the invisible line they should not cross. And in that way, boundaries are totally awesome. They teach other people how you need to be treated. So setting a boundary isn't necessarily about saying no to communicating. In fact, it's almost always about saying yes. Learning more about yourself and the other person, navigating the space between you and finding out how to relate in safe and healthy ways. Good boundaries expressed by both parties can make a very healthy foundation for a relationship. So that's my way of saying, boundaries don't have to be complicated and you don't have to set them from your head. You set them from your truth. And when you connect with your truth through your feelings and have the willingness to share it, boundaries often take care of themselves. I know I've gone on a long.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Time, but just a few more things.
Jessica Porter
First of all, this is a process. You won't be perfect at it. There is no perfect. And boundaries change over time as relationships change. Second, boundaries are not about controlling other people. They're simply about communicating your needs to other people. 3. You will have different boundaries with different people. Every relationship is different. 4. Boundaries aren't always expressed through words, and they don't always make a relationship better. Sometimes they end things or create needed distance. Letting the phone go to voicemail instead of picking it up is setting a boundary. Blocking abusive content on social media is setting a boundary. Simply walking away is a boundary. A boundary is whatever helps you to feel emotionally or physically safe, and only you can really feel what that is. And the more you take care of your own boundaries, the more clear and honest your relationships will be. So tonight we will do a little practice, exploring our feelings and playing with boundaries. It's not a perfect art, but it will help you get in touch with your truth and your willingness to express it. So get yourself into a safe and comfortable position, and let's Begin. If your eyes are not already closed.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Allow them to close easily and gently. And just bring your awareness to your breath. Your awareness has been outside of you during the day, paying some attention to what I've been saying. And now we just reel it in back to your body, back to your breath. Just imagine that your awareness is like a little surfer surfing the wave of your breath. And that may be a very little gentle wave or a bigger sigh. Good.
Jessica Porter
Now I'd like you to bring your awareness up into your eyelids.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
And imagine that the little muscles of your eyelids are feeling loose and limp and relaxed. And just allow your eyelids now to feel heavy and sleepy and tired. And as your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, I'd like you to accept the suggestion that your eyelids are so relaxed that they simply will not open. Now, this is a weird suggestion, and I'm asking you to just play a game with me.
Jessica Porter
I want you to pretend that your.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Eyes will not open.
Jessica Porter
So in a moment, when I ask.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
You to test your eyes, I want you to just wiggle your eyebrows while your eyes remain shut. So now let's test your eyelids to make sure they won't open and play pretend with me. Just wiggle your eyebrows while your eyes remain shut.
Jessica Porter
You could open them if you wanted.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
To, but you're pretending that you can't. Good. You can stop testing now. Ah. Now, this lovely, warm, heavy feeling you.
Jessica Porter
Have around your eyes and in your.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Eyelids, this lovely, warm feeling is the same feeling you will soon have throughout your entire body. So let's imagine this warm, lovely, relaxed feeling sinking back into your head. Imagine your head is becoming full of this warm, lovely, sort of syrupy feeling. And your head is becoming very, very heavy on the pillow. And your whole brain is just soaking this feeling. And it feels nice. As your head is getting heavier and heavier, the muscles of your face are becoming soft and relaxed. Letting go. Letting go of any tension or pressure you felt in your face today. It's all just dissolving. Good. And now allow that warm, heavy feeling to move down into the muscles of your neck. And the muscles of your neck are becoming soft and relaxed. Your neck has been doing a lot of holding today, and now it gets to let go. As the warm, relaxation feeling moves down into your shoulders. Just allow your shoulders to sink and release and sort of melt into the bed. And as your shoulders are relaxing, all of the responsibilities you carry on those shoulders are falling to the floor. You can pick any or all of them up in the morning, but for right now, you're free Free to drift and float and dream. Free to let go. And as that warm, relaxing feeling is moving down your arms now your arms are feeling heavy, heavy, heavy. As you allow the warm, relaxing feeling to move all the way down into the palms of your hands, rolling down now into your fingers, every single finger feeling heavy and relaxed. And as your body is relaxing, your mind is relaxing. And as your mind is relaxing, your body is relaxing, going deeper and deeper. And while you're relaxing, you may be aware of the sounds going on around you in your environment. Maybe there's an air conditioner or a fan. Maybe another human is making sounds or noises from the street. But from this moment on, no sound will bother or disturb you in any way. In fact, from this moment on, those sounds will take you deeper and even deeper into relaxation. So allow yourself to open to those sounds and just let them pass through you, taking you deeper and even deeper. Beautiful. The sound of my voice is also taking you deeper and deeper. And there will be a moment.
Jessica Porter
Perhaps.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
It'S already come, when my voice will sound distant and you detach, letting go into rest. As you imagine that warm, relaxed feeling moving down your back, imagine it moving down and through the muscles of your.
Jessica Porter
Back.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Down your spine. That warmth moving down all the way to your lower back and buttocks. Your pelvis feeling heavy on the bed. Good. And now we imagine a slightly lighter version of this relaxation. Like a warm, relaxing mist is moving down the front of your body now, even going inside your chest cavity, opening and softening inside of you. As you imagine this mist, hold, holding, surrounding, cradling your own heart. And as the mist is holding your heart, any emotional tension you may have been carrying has disappeared. And as the mist moves down even deeper into your belly, circulating deep inside of you, the muscles of your belly are letting go, relaxing, softening. As a warm, relaxed feeling moves down now into your leg, all the way down your legs. And now you notice that your legs are feeling very heavy, heavy. Your legs have worked for you all.
Jessica Porter
Day.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
And now they're on vacation. As the relaxation moves all the way down into your feet, rolling down into your toes, and every toe is feeling heavy and relaxed. Done for the day. I'd like you to imagine that you're standing at a door deep inside your own inner mind. And on the door, in gold letters, are the words self Love. This is the room where you connect with yourself and you nourish your relationship with yourself. Open the door. It is warm and comfortable in here, with a lovely skylight in the roof, showing the stars there's a big, beautiful, comfortable chair in the middle of the room. So you sit down in it and relax, taking yourself deeper and even deeper. Now place your hand over your heart and begin listening to what's happening inside of you. Your heart has many, many nerves in it and your nervous system is always communicating with you, giving you. So what do you feel right now? You may feel calm and contented, or your heart may be giving you more detailed information. Just listen good. And now with your hand over your heart, you'll give yourself some good energy by saying, I accept myself. I love myself. I listen to myself. I listen to my own truth. No matter what that is. I listen to my feelings. All my feelings are okay. Feelings come and feelings go. I am allowed to express my feelings. It is safe to tell my truth. I choose the energy I allow in my life and only I can tell my truth and set my boundaries. As you go deeper and deeper, it feels good to connect with yourself. Imagine now that there is another comfortable chair across from you. And now I'd like you to imagine someone with whom you feel very comfortable and invite that person to come in and sit the other chair. Now ask yourself, how is my body reacting to this person?
Jessica Porter
What am I feeling? Do I feel comfortable? Uncomfortable?
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Excited? Afraid? Your feeling may not translate into words. Maybe it's more of an image. There's no right or wrong, just truth of your feelings. Now imagine expressing this feeling to this person across from you. Sitting here with you, I feel. And now you say your feeling. How does it feel to say your truth? Let yourself just be with it. It's okay to express your feel.
Jessica Porter
Notice.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
How the other person reacts. This person has just learned something important about you and maybe about themselves. Notice what this does to the space between you. Perhaps the person comes closer or moves further away. Your truth sets the distance. Well done. Now this person says good night and leaves the room as you go deeper and deeper. Now I invite you to imagine a person with whom you've had some issues. Choose a person who is fundamentally safe. But you may not get along with them that easily. You may not even like them. Invite this person to come in and sit on the chair across from you. Notice how you feel with this person near you. Just listen to your response inside.
Jessica Porter
As.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
You ask yourself, how is my body reacting? What am I feeling?
Jessica Porter
Do I feel comfortable?
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
Uncomfortable? Excited? Afraid? Maybe your feeling comes more as an image. Just notice there's no right or wrong, just your feelings. Now imagine expressing this feeling to this person. You may not choose to speak your feelings directly to this person in real life. But here you get to practice. Sitting here with you, I feel and say you're feeling good. How does it feel to say your truth? Notice how the person has reacted to your feelings. They've just learned something important about you and perhaps about themselves. Perhaps your truth causes the person to come closer or to move further away. Your truth has set the distance. Well done. You have just practiced feeling your truth, telling your truth and establishing your boundaries. Now this other person leaves the room as you relax in your chair, going deeper and even deeper as you imagine placing your hand on your heart again. I accept myself. I love myself. I listen to myself. I am open to listen to my truth no matter what it is. I listen to my feelings.
Jessica Porter
Feelings come.
Sleep Hypnosis Guide
And feelings go. I am allowed to express my feelings. Sometimes I express them only to myself, and sometimes I need to express them to others. It is safe for me to know my truth. I choose the type of energy I allow into my life. And only I can feel my truth and set my boundaries. And finally you say to yourself, thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for taking care of me. Your comfortable chair is becoming a bed. And you lie back and close your eyes. You feel so good inside, so good as you drift and float it.
Jessica Porter
Ra.
Podcast Summary: "Setting Healthy Boundaries | Guided Sleep Hypnosis"
Podcast Information
In the episode titled "Setting Healthy Boundaries," hypnotherapist Jessica Porter delves into the concept of personal boundaries, exploring their significance in fostering healthy relationships and enhancing personal well-being. From the outset, Jessica emphasizes the transformative power of boundaries, presenting them not as restrictive barriers but as liberating structures that facilitate personal growth and meaningful connections.
Notable Quote:
"Boundaries are actually very freeing. They give shape and structure to our lives."
— Jessica Porter [04:05]
Jessica begins by defining personal boundaries, contrasting them with more tangible boundaries like homes, schedules, or laws. She highlights the often invisible nature of personal boundaries, which makes them challenging to establish and maintain. Unlike corporate or legal boundaries, personal boundaries require a deep understanding of one's inner self and the courage to express one's true feelings and needs.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"Setting boundaries was all about one fundamental thing. Telling the truth. Telling my truth."
— Jessica Porter [05:45]
Jessica elaborates on the concept of truth, describing it not merely as an idea but as a force with inherent energy. This truth aligns with one's inner self and has a profound impact when expressed. She acknowledges the fear associated with revealing one's true feelings, such as the potential for rejection or conflict. However, she underscores that honesty is essential for personal growth and the authenticity of relationships.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"Because the truth has power, I sometimes hesitate to tell it. Perhaps acknowledging my truth will reveal my anger or make others angry."
— Jessica Porter [07:30]
Jessica offers practical advice on how to effectively set and maintain personal boundaries. She emphasizes that boundaries are dynamic, evolving with changing relationships and personal growth. Rather than attempting to control others, boundaries are about clearly communicating one's own needs and limits. She also notes that boundaries manifest differently across various relationships and circumstances.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"Boundaries aren't always expressed through words, and they don't always make a relationship better. Sometimes they end things or create needed distance."
— Jessica Porter [08:40]
Following her discussion on boundaries, Jessica transitions into a guided sleep hypnosis session designed to help listeners internalize and practice setting healthy boundaries. The session is structured to promote deep relaxation while fostering self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Session Highlights:
Relaxation Techniques:
Visualization Exercises:
Boundary Practice Scenarios:
Affirmations:
Notable Quotes:
"I accept myself. I love myself. I listen to myself. I listen to my own truth."
— Sleep Hypnosis Guide [20:54]
"Your truth has set the distance. Well done."
— Sleep Hypnosis Guide [33:48]
Jessica concludes the episode by reiterating the importance of boundaries in fostering healthy relationships and personal well-being. She emphasizes that setting boundaries is a personal journey rooted in truth and self-acceptance. The guided hypnosis session serves as a practical tool for listeners to connect with their inner selves and practice expressing their genuine feelings and needs.
Notable Quote:
"Only you can feel what your boundaries are and how to express them. By taking care of your boundaries, you cultivate clearer and more honest relationships."
— Jessica Porter [08:55]
Final Remarks
"Setting Healthy Boundaries | Guided Sleep Hypnosis" offers a comprehensive exploration of personal boundaries, blending insightful discussion with practical hypnosis techniques. Jessica Porter's empathetic guidance empowers listeners to understand, establish, and maintain their boundaries, ultimately leading to enhanced self-love and healthier relationships. This episode is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their interpersonal dynamics and personal well-being through the mindful practice of boundary setting.