Transcript
Jessica Porter (0:11)
Hi, I'm Jessica Porter and welcome back to Sleep Magic, a podcast where I help you find the magic of your own mind, helping you to sleep better and live better. Thank you everybody for being here. I have kind of a long intro tonight, so I'm just going to get straight to it. For those of you who are new here, we will get to the sleep hypnosis, I promise. So if you just want to close your eyes as I read this intro, it's really all part of the same theme. Before we get started, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors who make this free content possible. Hey Sleep Magic listeners. You know I love sharing things that make life simpler. So let's talk about something we all data. Do you say data or data? Well, I'm Canadian and I say data and I use my data constantly browsing ideas for the show, catching up with Team Magic and staying connected while I travel. And for years I was paying way too much for data without even thinking about it. Then I found Mint Mobile and when I joined, I got three months of premium wireless for just $15 a month with plenty of high speed data, unlimited talk and text all on the nation's largest 5G network. I've been a Mint Mobile customer since September of last year, so getting to introduce you to it feels like a perfect fit. When I switched, it was so easy. I kept my phone, my number, my coverage to just without the overpriced bill. And now Mint Mobile has given Sleep Magic listeners a special treat. You can get three months of premium wireless for just $15 a month. No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it. Shop Data plans@mintmobile.com SleepMagic that's mintmobile.com SleepMagic Upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
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Jessica Porter (2:46)
Okay, Setting Healthy Boundaries what the heck is a personal boundary? Well, in life we have some examples of some very real boundaries. Our homes are boundaries, schedules are boundaries, rules are boundaries, laws are boundaries. These limits and parameters may feel constrictive at times, but they also let us relax into them. Boundaries are actually very freeing. They give shape and structure to our lives. But what about the boundaries in our personal lives, the ones we require for healthy relationships? For years, I struggled with boundaries. I saw others put up their boundaries and was often baffled by how they did it. And sometimes really easily, like, how do I put up this weird invisible fence? And then how do I communicate that it's there in the moment? It seemed like a really conceptual thing to me. For a very long time, I tried to set my boundaries, but just as quickly I would forget them or realize they weren't working when someone trampled all over them. And I'm not surprised I was challenged in this area because unlike rules that are written down in corporate manuals or in the law books, personal boundaries are mostly invisible, even to ourselves. Creating boundaries requires really listening to my inner self and discerning what feels good and what feels not so good, and then reporting on my feelings to myself and to those around me. And that can be tricky. And then I realized setting boundaries was all about one fundamental thing. Telling the truth. Telling my truth. Now I just want to say I'm not a professional in this area, and I'm just talking from my experience, so take what you like and leave the rest. But let's rewind for a second. A while ago, I realized that the truth is not an idea. The truth is more like a force. Like it contains energy. I'm not sure how to express this better, except to say that our personal truths line up with our inner selves, our nervous systems, and when they get expressed, they have an impact. A truth being told can make us sigh with relief or stare in shock. The truth has power. The power to enlighten, to empower, or to even hurt others. The truth can shake up entire lives and rewrite old stories. That said, the truth is often not that dramatic. It can just be. I'm thirsty. But still, that lines up with a visceral reality inside of me. It's not just an opinion or a thought. Because the truth has power, I sometimes hesitate to tell it. Perhaps acknowledging my truth will reveal my anger or make others angry. I don't want to be rejected or perceived as a bad person. But over time, that becomes a trap. Because the world is always arranging itself around me and responding to what I do and what I say. And if I'm lying to the world, it will begin to arrange itself in weird ways that don't serve my growth or the growth of others. And by the way, feelings are impossible to really hide completely. When I don't express myself directly, those truths and feelings tend to come out in other ways. So, back to boundaries. I finally discovered that when I tell my truth, it automatically sets a boundary. It rearranges the situation. When I say I'm uncomfortable with this conversation and I'd like it to end now, boom. That's a boundary. I may need to say it again, but I have said my truth and I have expressed my limits, and the other person has felt my truth. Because, like I said, the truth is not an idea, it's a force. Telling the truth sets up a little force field that gives the other person the invisible line they should not cross. And in that way, boundaries are totally awesome. They teach other people how you need to be treated. So setting a boundary isn't necessarily about saying no to communicating. In fact, it's almost always about saying yes. Learning more about yourself and the other person, navigating the space between you and finding out how to relate in safe and healthy ways. Good boundaries expressed by both parties can make a very healthy foundation for a relationship. So that's my way of saying, boundaries don't have to be complicated and you don't have to set them from your head. You set them from your truth. And when you connect with your truth through your feelings and have the willingness to share it, boundaries often take care of themselves. I know I've gone on a long.