What Are You Like When “No One’s” Watching? with Doormen Daryl + Joe

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What Are You Like When ‘No One’s’ Watching? with Doormen Daryl + Joe"

Smart Girl Dumb Questions
Host: Nayeema Raza
Guests: Daryl and Joe (NYC Doormen/Concierges)
Date: October 28, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

Nayeema Raza invites two veteran NYC doormen/concierges, Daryl and Joe, to share what it’s like being the gatekeepers of New York’s high-rise buildings. The episode explores human behavior under observation, the quiet power and responsibility of doormen, their unique relationships with residents, and what they observe about city life when "no one" thinks they're watching.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Professional Observer: Life as a Doorman

• Vantage Point: Daryl and Joe see residents at their best, worst, and weirdest—an ongoing social experiment in privacy, discretion, and human nature.
• Discretion is Key: Both stress their role as confidantes and silent witnesses—never exposing private information.
  • “There are over 27,000 doormen in the city...what are we like when nobody’s watching? But you guys are always watching.” — Nayeema Raza [00:28]
  • “That’s the job.” — Joe [00:33]

2. Memorable Stories from the Front Desk

• Wildest Incidents:
  • Daryl rescued a drunk, half-naked resident from a hallway after a cat sitter mistook him for a homeless person. [01:04]
  • Joe freed a cat locked in an apartment by accidentally triggering the door lock—again, tipped off by a cat sitter. [02:02]
• Cat Sitters = The Whistleblowers: “Cat sitters are really the whistleblowers of NYC buildings.” — Nayeema [02:25]

3. The Solitude and Culture of Doormen

• Solitary Profession: Few doormen become friends with others in the same profession.
  • “It’s a sort of a solitary job, really...all the trust is being placed in you.” — Joe [03:20]
  • “If I wasn’t friends with you before this job, most likely I’m not gonna be friends with you after.” — Daryl [03:45]

4. Paths to the Profession

• Joe: Worked across West Chelsea, East Harlem, and Upper West Side—assisted living, rehab centers, luxury buildings. Found meaning in sustained relationships with residents. [04:52]
• Daryl: Bronx native; started at UPS, then construction, commercial security, and eventually became head concierge of a major West Village condo. Finds joy in uplifting others’ moods and “going the extra mile.” [06:59, 08:17]

5. Doormen as Everyday Superheroes

• Superhero Vibe: Both joke about having superhero qualities—protecting, rescuing, being role models.
  • “You are a superhero.” — Nayeema to Joe [09:42]
  • “Say it more heroically: Doorman.” — Joe [09:52]

6. The Subtle Art of Blending In

• Furniture Analogy: Some see the role as “part of the furniture”—there but invisible.
  • “You want to make the interactions as minimal as possible because you want to respect the time of the residents.” — Joe [10:26]
  • “I’m never furniture. I’m very outspoken. I read my tenants, I study them...” — Daryl [11:20]

7. Reading Residents & Emotional Labor

• Emotional Intelligence: Both tailor their greetings, support, and conversation based on subtle cues and body language (“ocular pat down”).

  • “Ocular pat down—I love that.” — Nayeema [15:03]
  • “You kind of pass on a bad mood or you pass forward…” — Nayeema, on workplace energy [15:39]

• Boundaries & Burnout: The job sometimes weighs heavily when residents are going through tough times; learned to set boundaries and process emotions privately. [16:34]

8. Social Dynamics & Observational Insights

Lightning Round Observations ([17:27])

• Who’s more chatty?
  • “Women.” — Daryl & Joe
• Who’s friendlier—night owls or early birds?
  • “Waking up at 5am.” — Joe

Service Industry Test

• How residents treat doormen/concierges is a window into character:
  • “First impression is everything... I’m kind of their right hand... If I feel something off, but they’re hiding it to them, they’re like ‘Oh, he was perfect’—but with me, he had kind of an attitude.” — Daryl [19:14]

Lying for Residents & Discretion

• Both have covered for residents (e.g., hiding from exes, dealing with stalkers). [22:11]
• Strong “CODE” of silence and privacy.
  • “He violated the code.” — Joe, on a doorman ‘outing’ a resident’s cheating [25:44]
  • “Just be respectful of people’s privacy.” — Joe [25:49]

9. Predictive Powers

• Breakup Radar: Joe claims he can spot a breakup coming; key sign is no overnight stays or couples who need to “smoke a cigarette together outside” (major argument sign). [29:45]
  • “Our senses are a little heightened, our Spidey senses…” — Joe [27:51]
• Daryl admits he’s often surprised who stays together vs. who splits (“the opposite with me”) [28:15]

10. Packages, Deliveries, & Urban Logistics

• Package Volume: Daily packages can be 150–300/day (especially holidays). [32:05]
• Weirdest Deliveries: Expensive art, large crates; doormen coordinate everything except physically installing. [33:04]
• The Couch Doctor: Service comes to disassemble/reassemble furniture for tight NYC apartments. [34:07]
• “Kill Amazon” (in F/M/K), unanimously: “Food delivery is not that bad. Marry food delivery.” — Daryl [36:52]

11. Safety & Security

• Profiling for Protection: Can usually spot “ladies of the night” or dealers, especially on night shifts. [37:09]
• Vigilance: Daryl lets suspicious people get “stuck” in elevators—they’ll have to come back and ask. [38:13]
• Changing NYC: Joe: “Neck wreck”—phones make people less street-aware, increasing risk. Daryl: City is getting more dangerous, even in wealthy areas. [38:49, 40:07]

12. Tipping, Gratitude, and the Social Contract

• How much? Ballpark: $100–$500/year, but much more in high-end buildings expected. [41:09]
• Can you judge a person by their tip? Sometimes, but many factors at play (personal finances, frequency of stays, level of gratitude). [41:21]
• “If you live in my building, you’re good...even when they lose, they make.” — Daryl [41:42]

13. Door Women & Building Diversity

• Still rare, but exists; safety concerns and tradition contribute. [40:23]

14. Final Reflections & Curiosities

• Dumb Curious Questions:
  • Joe: “What’s the oldest pizza shop in NYC?” [44:29]
  • Daryl: “Are women ever satisfied?” (In relationships) [44:46]
  • Joe also: “I wanted to know how podcasts are made.” [45:34]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Residents' Secrets:

  • “People tell more to the front desk, to doormen, to concierges, than they do to their therapist.” — Nayeema [46:48]

• On the Code:

  • “You just don’t say.” — Daryl [26:01]

• On Predictive Skills:

  • “That ocular pat down is like X-ray material.” — Nayeema [27:11]

• On Emotional Labor:

  • “Some things cut through for sure…losing pets and relatives… sometimes they tell you these stories in confidence…” — Joe [16:48]

• On Changing the City:

  • “Neck wreck—people on their phones with their heads down, violating the social contract… you’re just opening the door for criminals...” — Joe [38:56]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & What Doormen See: 00:00 – 01:00
• Funniest/Weirdest Incidents: 01:04 – 02:34
• The Solitude of Doormen / Social Lives: 03:11 – 04:29
• Career Path Stories: 04:52 – 09:01
• Role Definition (Doorman vs. Concierge): 08:54 – 09:53
• Blending In & Emotional Labor: 10:12 – 16:34
• Lightning Round - Gender & Talkativeness: 17:27 – 20:01
• Service Industry Observations: 18:12 – 20:01
• The Code & Lying for Residents: 22:11 – 26:04
• Breakup and Spidey Senses: 27:36 – 28:52
• Package Logistics & The Couch Doctor: 32:05 – 34:47
• Safety, Security, & Profiling: 37:07 – 40:13
• Door Women & Tipping: 40:23 – 41:42
• Closing Reflections / Dumb Questions: 44:29 – 45:57

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Tone & Style

Conversational, candid, and humorous, with a trusting, deeply New York dynamic. Daryl is more direct, gregarious, and self-assured; Joe is thoughtful, observant, and occasionally understated. Nayeema keeps a playful, inquisitive tone, framing the conversation as equal parts social investigation and celebration of the “invisible” heroes of city life.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In:

This episode is a look behind the city’s velvet ropes into the world of doormen—equal parts anthropologists, security, crisis managers, secret-keepers, and sometimes, matchmakers or counselors. Packed with stories about cat sitters, package mysteries, breakups spotted in real-time, and the unspoken “code” of privacy, it’s a revealing, affectionate portrait of some of the city’s quietest power brokers.

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Key Takeaway

Doormen aren’t just part of the NYC backdrop—they quietly shape the mood, privacy, and safety of urban life, carrying both the keys and the secrets of thousands.

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Notable Closing

“I think they are superheroes. I had so much fun talking to them…they are anthropologists.” — Nayeema [46:16]

Transcript

[A]

You've seen affairs happen, correct?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I don't know for sure. Yeah. I can't confirm nor deny that.

[A]

Okay, he's pleading the fifth. Smart girl, dumb questions. I'm Neymar Raza. This is Smart Girl, Dumb Questions. And with me are Daryl and Joe. And in a bit of a role reversal, I have let you guys into the building today. I expect a tip on the way out. Guys, no, I'm just kidding. There are over 27,000 doormen in the city. There's this question I have of, like, what are we like when nobody's watching? But you guys are always watching.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That's the job.

[A]

That's the job. And so I think of you guys as, like, masters of observation.

[C]

That's what I got my degree in too.

[A]

So masters of observations. I mean, you guys see everything. You see who's coming in unhappy. Who's the chatty person who's ordering dominoes at 3am you keep it all discreet.

[B]

Mm, yeah. For the high clientele. They're very private.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think they'll, you know, get us fired for domino's, but. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. Nothing specific, but we're gonna talk in general terms today. What is the weirdest thing you.

[B]

A cat sitter. She came down and she said, I think there's a homeless person that's on the floor in the hallway. Now, that hallway is only three apartments, and one of them is a main who you know, from New York. I'm not gonna say who he is, but So I was like, that floor is usually secluded. There's not many people that are there. And I'm the first line of defense. And then you can't just go upstairs. You have to swipe a fob and a key card to get onto the floor. So I was very curious. I told my doorman, listen, watch the desk. I have to go upstairs real fast. So I ran upstairs. Look. Behold. It's one of my residents. I never told anybody. It's one of my residents half naked on the floor that I had to pick up. He was dead drunk. I don't even know if he's gonna remember, but he was dead drunk. And I had to literally pick him up and put him in his apartment, and I just sat him there. We never spoke on it after that. He never said anything. I didn't say anything. And. And I just kept it to myself.

[A]

I love that the cat sitter was, like, the source of this story.

[C]

Well, this just kind of happened recently, but a cat locked himself in the apartment, oddly enough, because the resident had. Where the cat plays next to the door lock. And then the cat was just sort of messing with it. So the cat sitter came down to me and asked me to help out because it was kind of just there clawing out, had his hand out the door, like, please let me out, please. I lock myself in.

[A]

I love that. Cat sitters are really the whistleblowers of New York City buildings.

[C]

They're the MVPs.

[A]

So did you save the cat?

[C]

Yeah, the cat is fine.

[A]

The cat is fine. No cats were harmed. But, you know, cats. I also learned this recently. Like, cats can reach up and they can reach a doorknob.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I used to have a roommate who had a cat. I was so scared of the cat that at night. I actually have never said this. I would put a chair up against the door because I was afraid that the cat was just gonna, like, open the door and watch what he did.

[B]

What do you think it was gonna do?

[A]

I don't know, but I just knew that that cat could open doors. And I thought that was really, like, I don't know what that cat's gonna do.

[C]

There's a lot going on, like, under their hood, you know?

[A]

Yes. Oh, I thought you meant for me psychologically, cats also, the both of them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They seem like they're sneaky. I'm sorry, I don't trust a cat, but I do trust a doorman. So you two do not know each other?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

And one of the things I found when I was casting for this episode is that actually a lot of doormen do not have other doorman friends outside of their own building.

[C]

It's a sort of a solitary job, really. I mean, if you're not. If you don't not part of a team, if you're just, you know, all the trust is being placed in you, and you kind of gotta be there, isolated with your thoughts sometimes. But there. There are a lot of interactions with people, you know by the minute. So you do sort of get that. For the most part. It's usually sort of a introspective sort of, you know, just sitting there, kind of.

[B]

I'm not even interested to be friends with other doormen, to be honest with you. I don't know. If I wasn't friends with you before this job, most likely I'm not going to be friends with you after.

[A]

Even if it's a cat sitter?

[B]

Even if it's a cat sitter. It depends. There's some really good people, like, obviously it became really close friends with certain residents, but other doormen, I don't know. I just don't like.

[A]

It's work. It's work in your social life. You don't.

[B]

Yeah, I have enough. I got 40 plus guys. I've trained over, what, 150 doormen in my building.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we have a huge staff. I don't need any more. When I go home, I stay isolated. I stay to myself, my close friends, whoever. That's it.

[A]

Well, I'm really sad that apparently Joe and Daryl, you're not gonna become friends after this. Cause you didn't know before he got. I think you guys.

[B]

Sorry, Jo, it's understandable.

[A]

We could become friends maybe if I move in. But I do wanna just get acquainted a little bit and talk about what brought each of you into this career. And I mean, I will say, you know, you both come recommended to me by friends who have lived in your buildings, who thought you two were just awesome, and consider you friends as well. So, Jo, tell us, like, the part of Manhattan you work in, how long you've been doing this job?

[C]

At least 15 years. I've worked at different buildings over the course of my career. I didn't really choose this career per se. It's kind of just a job. But I do love what I do and I do love the reception that I get from residents and from former residents who walk by my building and wave in like, it's so odd that that happens. I work in currently West Chelsea. In the West Chelsea area. I've worked in assisted living facilities for older senior citizens as well in East Harlem and as well as a drug rehabilitation place where people live and then they get counseling as well on the Upper west side.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So, yeah, I've just done that job in different locations. And you get to see so many people and interact with so many people.

[A]

And the thing that fascinated me about Joe, your story was our friend Jason, who introduced us. Jason was a former resident in one of your buildings. And he told me that you guys really bonded because he's like a prolific cartoonist, very talented guy, does stuff for the New Yorker, et cetera, Jason Chatfield. But he said that you also have a very. You guys bonded over your mutual love of Spider Man.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it Spider Man?

[C]

We're both like superheroes. Yeah. I mean, it's just Jason's a really cool guy. I'm so honored to have met him. And he's really. I saw him at Comic Con one time, but you don't realize how many people you're impacting on a day to day basis and where, whether they live in the building or whether when they leave the building, you know, that impact could still be felt. So do you feel like there's something.

[A]

Like superhero ish about the job? I feel like there is something.

[C]

There is.

[A]

Like you're talking about carrying people into buildings and rescuing cats. Like this is, this is basically Gotham.

[C]

Being like a role model for like professionalism for like kids and stuff. Even for like there's some people who are doormen or concierge that live in the building I work at. And they've told me like, your professionalism has helped me in my job, which is like, I was like, wait, really? Oh, thank you. You know, such a nice thing to hear. But yeah, you gotta like be upstanding and you gotta be a good role model, sort of, you know, so to speak.

[A]

You're protecting people. And I love, I love that idea of like being a good role model for kids. What got you, Darrell? Talk about your journey?

[B]

I can tell you straight out of high school, you know, I didn't know really what I wanted to do. So I started at UPS, where most people do. So I worked at UPS on 43rd and 12th in Manhattan. I'm from the South Bronx, born and raised, but I lived in Harlem for now 14 years. So I love Manhattan. So I started at UPS and then from there I went to Construction Local 79. I was a mason tender. And then from that I went into security and I became the head supervisor for Thompson Reuters Lobby with Rudin Management. I was there for five years. Now I was going to go to Maryland, become a cop. But this project was opening up where I, where I'm at now in the West Village. So I said, okay, I interviewed you for it, I got it. I went to the building, it was still fully under construction and they made me director of security for the building. So while the contractors are there. And then once the building closed, we did such a good job, they said you get the first dibs going in. And they made me lead concierge of the building. So everybody that's been through those doors, I've literally trained, you know, on how to be a concierge. Even though I was learning myself because I have a commercial background. I never dealt with residents, but I know people. Even when I was at the commercial building for Thomson Reuters, you know, when I was leaving, literally the last two weeks, somebody took me out to lunch every day of the last two weeks.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And a lot of them I remember, you know, around Tip Time. It's kind of. You don't get tips in commercial buildings. It just really doesn't happen that much. It's rare, but people used to come and give me tips, and they used to say, you know what? I don't like my job, but to see your smile in the morning, it makes it worth it.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And, you know, that kind of touched me a bit. You can't really feel all of it there, but after a while, you're like, you're really changing people's lives, and you think you're not. Somebody's probably having a bad day, and then once they see you, it comes full circle. So after that, I've just been there ever since. Ten years now, going strong, and I love what I do.

[A]

And you said the term concierge in the building it's called concierge.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And some buildings, it's called doormen. Or we have both. Or is it both?

[B]

In my building, I have everything. We have four doors. Concierge, doorman. I literally have a doorman that stays by the door. His job is just to open that door. Me, I work behind the desk.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So I manage emails, calls, you know, everybody going in and out, egress, vendors, everybody. They have to come through me first.

[A]

And in your building, Joe, are you doing emails and a lot of this stuff as well, right?

[C]

Pretty much. A concierge, I sometimes get out from behind the desk and help out with door opening stuff. We do have situation where I could just press a button and open the door, which residents really love too. It kind of gives me a magical little element, especially for little kids and toddlers who are not privy to that button. So I kind of, you know, wow them with that mysticism.

[A]

See, you are a superhero. So I'm gonna use the term doorman because it's a colloquial term. But I understand that you guys do a lot of things. No, no, no. I'm gonna say you say whatever you want.

[C]

Say it more heroically. Door.

[A]

Doorman.

[B]

Doorman.

[A]

Doorman. Do you want, like a D on the vest?

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

Obviously.

[A]

My producer came across a quote, and it's from an Upper east side doorman named Jan. I think maybe Jan, but I think Jan. See, you're one other friend.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He described the role as, quote, you're part of the furniture. Our job is to blend in and make our tenants lives easier. And it takes a certain skill set to accomplish that. I don't know if I agree with this, but I'm curious if you guys.

[C]

Agree with this, to a degree, I do agree. You kind of have to, like, you want to make the interactions as minimal as possible because you want to respect the time of the residents. So, like, I tend to think that all residents have to use the restroom as soon as they're coming into the building. Because I value their time and I want them to know that I value their time. So I just give people the quickest hello, you know, have a good day and you know, go about your day. I'm blending in the background and if they need me, I'm here. So I'm like accessible furniture.

[A]

But I'm sure there are people who never want to go to the bathroom and just talk to you for like a long, long time.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, that does happen.

[A]

Yes. And then. Yeah. Do you ever wish that someone thought maybe you need to go to the bathroom and you need to get out of that conversation?

[C]

Well, that's how I usually get out of those conversations or something else will pop up.

[A]

Darrel, what do you think of that quote from. From Joe's friend?

[B]

I'm never furniture. I'm very outspoken. I read my tenants, I study them. Some like to talk more than others. Some don't want to be bothered. So I know who wants what. And usually I'm ready. If I'm like, oh, this person's gonna wanna talk about this or this. Let me get ready. Cause honestly, I love my tenants, but people don't really think about how you feel much. You know, it's not about if you're having a bad day, you have to always put on that pizzazz for them. You got to be there for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I know who's going through something. I know who has a situation that's happening. Somebody has to rush to work every morning. I always see them. So maybe, you know, I'll say, hey, have a great day. You know, if I feel they're a little bit always in their phone or they're bothered, you could just tell. And some people, I just don't say anything. Like if I know they're the silent type and, you know, maybe they're running for the marathon or something, they're training and they're just going right in. So I'll just say, okay, I won't say one word. Give me eye contact. I'll definitely say something at least.

[A]

I actually don't live in a doorman building in New York. I live in a building that has like full time supers. And I press that elevator. No, but you know why I had to move out of One, I used to live in a doorman building and I have a problem which is I am like the person that talks so much and I. And it's not just one sided because at one point I had my doorman's wife in my apartment because I was going through different options for them in Obamacare because they were thinking of moving cities and like what kind of health insurance would they get?

[B]

That's family.

[A]

And so it was just not. It's the relationship. So I just become like very connected to people. And I found it. I was like spending hours in my life entering and exiting a building. Like I still visit. My gay best friend left his building, but I still, whenever I walk by 22nd Street, I'll always pop by his building. I see the guys. I mean Mike doesn't like me, but Richie loves me. He was gonna come to this. Cause Mike would always get mad when I would go in and use the gym. Cause he's like, you're not technically a resident, but you're basically a wifey. So like you can come in, you know, but you probably have friends like that, right? Like the overly close friends who come in and use the amenities.

[B]

Yes, I do. But we have like face recognition on the gym. They cut down heavy, so you can't even get in the gym.

[A]

Lindsay can't let me in.

[B]

If she wants to stay with you and do like the day pass she has like four times a month she could do.

[A]

It's on lockdown. What about you?

[C]

EE no comment.

[A]

I gotta make friends in some more lax buildings. Like Lindsay's a lot less useful now. What do you think is the proper interact? Can you guys maybe demo role play? For me, the best interaction, a seamless interaction.

[B]

I usually work off of the energy that I get. If I see your all smiles, then when you come in I'll say, you know, welcome to so and so condominium that I work at. If I see they have luggage or something, I'll wing it. Oh, you coming off a flight? I hope it was good. I could take your luggage for you. Do you have your keys? Do you need to know anything? And you could email me anytime. That doesn't matter. I don't give everybody my phone number. Usually if you're the first ones there, I give my phone number or if I get really close to you, I say here's my number. You could text whenever you like. But some people forget. You know, I also give vacations as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if I'm in Dubai, I got a call like hey, you know, I'M like I'm not there. So that's why I'm kind of weary with who I give my contact info to.

[A]

I love what Darryl said earlier about like reading people and you said. When he said it. But you do feel like you do that too.

[C]

Yeah, you have to read body language. You know, see the time of the day it is, you know, all these things sort of factor in like people's demeanor. It definitely factors into the, to the whole, you know, ocular pat down that we have to give everybody who comes into the building.

[A]

Ocular pat down. I love that.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. I'm gonna use that. Yeah, that's actually kind of nice.

[A]

Maybe you guys are going to become friends. I don't know.

[B]

Who knows, we might exchange numbers on.

[A]

The left side of the screen. But yes.

[C]

Um, so yeah, that, that becomes, you know, residents notice that about you. They'll notice your, like, your candor and how you, how you are with other people, how you are with like delivery guys and vendors and that sort of, you know, reverb. Reverberates. I can never say that word, but reverberates. Yes. It helps the building to feel more like a close knit community even though it's a, you know, high rise building.

[A]

You know, so I love that this ocular pat down and this idea of reverberation that you're talking about, energy is like that, like you kind of pass on a bad mood or you pass forward and so you talked about Darryl. People don't really aren't really necessarily like thinking about what's happening in your life. Be on holiday.

[B]

They might be everybody, but yeah, in general they're not thinking, well, Daryl's probably busy or he's doing this or doing that. No, I make myself available for the resident. I want them to feel fully comfortable. This is what they pay for. You know, I go the extra mile. You know, I've been in people's apartments waking up their children. If they got to get up for school, somebody forgot this. I'm getting passports out there, you know, whatever.

[A]

To the airport.

[B]

To the airport. That always happens. You know, I'm going in there safe. Like they trust me.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, so I, if I could do it, I will. If I don't know how to do it, I could get somebody that can. Yeah, that's what I always want to try to have. Even if I'm on vacation, I'll do my best.

[A]

If you. Have you ever like felt like you leave work and it just feels so heavy because I don't know, some of your residents are having really tough times. Like, someone's going through a breakup. Someone's going through a. Like, a hard loss. Like, does it. Do you carry it out with you out the door at the end of the day?

[C]

Some things cut through for sure. Like, you know, residents deal with things that we all deal with, like losing pets and losing relatives. And sometimes they tell you these stories and confidence and, you know, you depending on who it is and the relationship you have with them. I mean, I felt stuff after I leave work, even though I try my best to leave work at work and, you know, go home and not think about these things. But some things cut through, unfortunately, I've.

[B]

Learned to kind of separate it at the beginning. Yes, I got really involved because I knew this job is what I wanted to do. Like, I can't see myself leaving my job. I'm gonna stay there. I'll do some side work, but I'm not going anywhere.

[A]

Okay. I wanna do a quick lightning round of people coming in and out of the dorm. Please settle this for the world. Who speaks more, men or women? Who's more chatty?

[C]

Women.

[B]

Women.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Night owls versus morning. People. Who's nicer? People that go to bed at 5am or people who wake up at 5am people who. You can plead the fifth if you need to.

[C]

Waking up at 5am I want to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't say with that one. It's in the middle.

[A]

It's in the middle.

[B]

Yeah. I have so many people.

[A]

I can see you clocking through the stories of some bad.

[B]

5:00Am Come home, and I can't. Yeah.

[A]

There's this kind of, like, rule when you go on a date on a first date with someone, which I do like, 100 times a year, I would say. And the. And, you know, I just asked Lindsay. It's true. So there's this rule that you, you know, if someone's an asshole to the waiter, they're. They can't. They're an irredeemable person. Do you think that same thing is true? Like, if someone is. You talked about, like, if someone is not nice to the concierge or the doorman, someone at the front desk, when they come in, is that person not a good.

[C]

I mean, it's one instance of them not being good. You kind of gotta not take things personal when it comes to. They could treat you in a bad way, but it doesn't mean that they're a bad person. They could just be having a bad day and we Kind of get on the receiving end of it sometimes. Unfortunately, doesn't make them a bad person per se. They were just bad to me in that one instance.

[A]

Right. So you're seeing that redeemability of someone who's generally nice but sometimes bad. But if they're consecutively, kind of.

[C]

Yeah. Then they start treading on some, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Bad territory, Daryl.

[B]

Huh? I don't know. You know, first impressions of everything. And most of the people, women that are my residents, and they're on the first date and I'm profiling everybody. That's my job. So they'll usually come back downstairs or they'll text me. How was this person? And if they were kind of mean to me, they were. I don't know if you could curse on here so I'll dick or something like that, I would say, no, he was an asshole. Like, I don't trust him. He seems weird. He came off this way to me. Like, I'm in the service industry. A lot of people in the service industry, we don't get treat. You know, treated as well as others.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I think that says a lot, you know, And I'm kind of their right hand, I feel. So if I feel something off, but they're hiding it to them, they're like, oh, he was perfect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But with me, he had kind of attitude. What was the reason for that? So I kind of tell them, and they're on the defense mode.

[A]

Oh, my God. Move into your building.

[B]

Go. I do that. I do that a lot more. Everybody, even if they come up with a. Like, if the daughter or something has a guy friend, I always like to scare, like, the guy. I don't know if you've seen Bad Boys 2 when they came to the door. So I always shake his hand real heavy. You all right? Everything good? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Okay. It's like they come through. I'm like the baggage check.

[A]

I gotta move into your building. I feel like a dating concierge services from Daryl. Get that. I'm gonna text you.

[C]

Fatherly presence at the door.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love to scare just to see how they are.

[A]

Do you ever scare people, Joe?

[C]

I'm sure I do, but it's usually unintentional. It's probably when I'm just silent and I just have a cold stare, I guess. But other than that, I'm usually chipper and very friendly, so.

[A]

Have you ever had to lie for people in your building?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

And what kind of lies have you had to tell for people in your building.

[B]

I had one person come and say, oh, this person told me they were meeting me. They're upstairs. They told me I could just come up. And I'm like, this person doesn't have friends really that much. They're not that friendly. And they told you you could just go upstairs. And they always call me for everything. So I was kind of like, it brought, like, a red flag. And I was like, let me check. And then when I found out, they said, no, we don't want this person up here. It turns out, yeah, it was a total lie. And thank God I did my due diligence and I went back and checked, because sometimes, you know, you flag somebody up if they're a familiar face. But this wasn't that situation. It was just somebody randomly coming up. And they knew the tenant's name, they knew where they lived.

[A]

It was a stalker kind of thing.

[B]

It was maybe. I don't know what this is. I don't dive in. They just told me, oh, Darryl, I.

[A]

Think you dive in. You're just not diving in on this podcast. You were gonna go be a cop in, like, Baltimore, Maryland, or something.

[B]

I was like, oh, okay. It's like, yeah, we just don't want them here. And they were. They were really. I don't know what was going on, but they were real, like, quick with me.

[A]

So were you like, this person. No longer. This person has moved to Minsk. That's from Friends. That's from Friends. Chandler moves to Minsk to get out of it.

[B]

I moved somewhere, actually, this year, but I had to be. Be the hard guy and say, no, you're not allowed.

[A]

Have you ever had to lie for somebody?

[C]

Yeah, lying usually involves something, like Daryl said about, like, you know, a crazy ex wanting to come in. And, you know, the person tells me, hey, listen, if anybody comes, I'm not here. Yeah, but I'm here. Wink, wink, and. Okay, I get it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You don't gotta explain all that. Yeah, all right, no problem. I'll do it.

[A]

One of the doormans of my best friend's building, the one I still pass by, somebody told me a story who used to work in that building of famous actress who lived in that building and was. Had gone through a divorce. And he just let her up because she was coming up to get something and they were. They were separated and he thought that the, you know, the ex husband was gone, but it was actually inside with another woman. At which point this famous celebrity started, like, throwing clothes into the lobby. Have you ever seen something like that?

[C]

I've been A part of something like that. Unfortunately, you've been a part of something like that personally. No comment.

[A]

Personal. All right, all right. I know you guys have it to put pretend. Your residents are generally great, but people have affairs. Things happen. You've seen affairs happen, correct?

[B]

Yes, yes.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know for sure.

[B]

15 years, Joe.

[C]

Yeah. I can't confirm nor deny that. Oh, okay.

[A]

He's pleading the Fifth. All right, so I'll tell you a story. When I first moved to New York, I was dating this guy. And we had gone, like. And I was traveling a lot at the time. I was filming in la, and we went on, like, eight, nine, ten dates. You guys know where this story is ending? Okay, but here's the wild part. I left something in his apartment, and he's like, oh, you know, I'll leave it with the doorman. And the doorman, who I'd always had, like, lovely interactions with and who I will not name, looks at me and he says, you know, you're too good for that guy. He outed the resident.

[B]

No, he shouldn't have said that.

[A]

He said it to me like that. And it turns out that guy was dating a woman for a while before we had met. They're now happily married with a child, and we are still friendly, bizarrely. And I told him this story recently, and I said, I think you were a terrible tipper, because this is what happened. He doesn't live in the building anymore, and I wouldn't tell him which one. But what do you think happened? Oh, could you ever imagine doing that?

[B]

He had to be a terrible tipper. He had. I don't know, he had no. How could I say, Respect for the guy. Like, no matter what he's doing, it's not my business to inform, like, get myself involved in your relationship issues that way. Like, I wouldn't have outed him. Yeah, I wouldn't have.

[C]

So he might have been interested in you.

[A]

No, it wasn't like that. It was like an elderly. It was very fatherly. Like, I think that I was always nicer to the guys than he had been.

[B]

Did you tip?

[A]

No, I didn't even. But, I mean, it wasn't about. But it's not all about tipping. It's not all about tipping. I think it was the fact that, like, when we came in, I'd always be like, oh, how was your day? And, like, acknowledge.

[B]

Yeah, he could tell you a nice person.

[A]

Yeah, I think it was a little bit of that.

[B]

Yeah. I still. I would have kept my mouth shut.

[A]

Really? Even. After having met me.

[B]

Even after meeting you, I would keep my mouth shut.

[A]

Darrell, if I date some guy in your building, you better fucking tell me. Okay, you're on my podcast now. There are some things that knows you could be crazy.

[B]

Like, you could have went upstairs. You know what? I forgot something upstairs. Okay. I could have clogged his toilets. You could eat anything now.

[A]

Clogged his toilets? Has that happened before?

[B]

I won't say. But thousands of dollars of damage now because I ran my mouth and said something I shouldn't have. And then now my job is on the line. I still have to feed my kids. Oh.

[A]

Because I could.

[B]

You're saying y. Yeah, it's the repercussions. Whatever you do. And they bring up my name. Which people do you think? They don't, but they do. They'll bring up your name in a heartbeat. They'll blame you in a heartbeat. That's why I say I keep a level of professionalism.

[A]

He was a people reader. He thought I was great. Joe, you would never do that either.

[C]

Yeah, he violated the code.

[B]

There's, like, a code.

[C]

You kind of gotta have to.

[A]

What's the code? What are the tenets of the code?

[C]

Just be respectful of people's privacy.

[A]

Like the first rule of Fight Club is there is no Fight Club.

[C]

Something like that.

[B]

Oh, I've met him as well. Yeah. So you just don't say.

[A]

You don't say.

[B]

Don't say.

[A]

So you would never have outed.

[B]

It Depends if he was leaving. Maybe he was moving.

[A]

No, he wasn't moving. He lived in that building for another year.

[B]

Another. Well, just a year.

[A]

No, but I mean, for years, I feel like he was not an owner, he was a tenant.

[B]

If I didn't have a good rapport with him, if I didn't get tipped, if I see he wasn't a nice person, maybe I would have gave you a slight hint. I don't think I would have been so blunt to say you're too good for that. But I would have just gave you a slight hint that something's not right. Do you want to go upstairs? Like, oh, like, you would have saw my demeanor. Like, Daryl's acting weird. Something's not right. And then later you would have caught on. If you didn't catch on for that.

[A]

Then I'm sorry I said you're too good for that guy. I could have meant a million things, but I knew. I knew exactly.

[B]

You meant one thing. It meant one thing.

[A]

That was the code. He violated the code. Okay, let's. So I I feel like people tell more to their. To the people, to the front desk, to doormen, to concierges, than they do to their therapist. Maybe.

[B]

I would say. Yeah, I think a lot of people lie to therapists.

[A]

Yeah. You can't lie to the person that's coming. That's there when you walk in the door.

[B]

You can, but after a while, we're going to see. Yeah, like, oh, that doesn't make sense.

[A]

That ocular pat down is like X ray material. X ray material. See into the heart. There's this, like, famous rule that Amazon or Walmart, they kind of know you're pregnant before you're pregnant. Or they know you're, you know, because they can tell from your interests. Right. Like, all these. All these streamers kind of know what you're like if you're single, if you're going through a breakup. Like, Netflix knows. Because Netflix can kind of tell. Maybe. You know, there's this theory out there that the Internet understands you.

[B]

An algorithm.

[A]

The algorithm knows you.

[C]

That's always in play.

[A]

Do you guys feel like you have that. Like, you can. You have that sixth sense of, like, when someone's about to leave a job or when someone's about to break up or when someone's about to. Especially with the breakups.

[C]

Yeah, I think that's like a New Yorker thing. Our senses are a little heightened, our Spidey senses, if you will. So that sort of plays into just the way that we interact with the world. So I think having that elevated sense helps us to deal with people's problems as they come into the building or, you know, their needs. So. Yeah, that's the thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the opposite with me. I've been surprised on the people that actually break up in my building, and the ones that I'm like, ugh, she could do better. They actually stay together for a long time. I'm very shocked. It's the opposite.

[A]

See, you gotta use those. Those famous words that that doorman said to me. You can do better than this guy. You can't say it.

[B]

When I look at the film, they're in full. They're fully married. Like, they got a lot going on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a whole thing. So. But with the regular relationships, I always think, oh, it's gonna go. They're going to get married soon. They're going to have this, and then they break up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, oh, and sometimes I'm really sad because they're really good people, but I got to let them go.

[A]

Joe, you said you can tell you have that spidey sense of maybe when a breakup's going to happen. What's a telltale sign for you that this isn't going to work out? Cliffhanger. We'll be right back, guys. Today's sponsor, dumb question is from me. I'm going to take the next minute to tell you a little bit about smart girl dumb questions and to ask you for your help and continuing to make independent, fact based and curious journalism. No, I'm not gonna ask you for money. Here's what I need. I would love you to tell 10 of your friends about the show or 100. I don't know, blast that reunion group that you muted and definitely tell your mom and tell your mom to tell her friends too. Even if you don't like the show and you're just like, hate watching it or listening to it, tell 10 of your friends to hate watch it too. Numbers are numbers, people. Joe, you said you can tell you have that spidey sense of maybe when a breakup's gonna happen. What's a telltale sign for you that this isn't gonna work out?

[C]

They don't stay over the whole night. Usually if somebody leaves in the middle of the night, that's a. That's kind of a sign if that's something that's sort of consistent. What else?

[A]

What other dating tips from dating tips from the door. This is like, this should be a TV show. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Couples who, for some reason they need to. To, let's just say, smoke a cigarette outside together. I feel like that's always like mid argument. It doesn't normally come under like, you know, happier circumstances.

[A]

So one person leaves to go smoke a cigarette.

[C]

No, they both go out and they both are arguing outside because they can't argue inside anymore because it's. They're. They. It's too volatile. So they go, oh, let's both go outside and have a cigarette. That's kind of a sign, I guess. I don't know if it's like my strongest spidey sense, but what about couples.

[A]

Who are just like on their phones and not talking to each other? Is that just every couple?

[B]

That's normal.

[A]

Can you name every single person that lives in your building?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

Yeah. Do you memorize them by their name in apartment building or do you memorize them by like a detail about them?

[C]

I memorize them by the apartments that they live in. So I mean, I don't call them like, you know, 7B247. Yeah, I don't do that. But that's how I, like, mentally stacked them in my mental Rolodex.

[B]

We had a software that's called, like, Building Link, and it had these little games where you associate the tenant with the actual name of the apartment. So that's how I learned when I first started 10 years ago.

[A]

It's like a memory game, specifically.

[B]

Yeah, I play the game, and I did it until I couldn't remember anymore. But then, you know, over the years, you're getting new people that are coming in. So after that, you just have to remember, and it just became easier and easier every time.

[A]

What about people who look alike that happen?

[B]

That caught me one time. I have new tenants that move in the same exact time. And both of them, the wives look exactly alike, but the husbands look different. But the wives look exactly alike. And I accidentally called her a different last name. They forgave me. After a while, they're like, we understand. I told her, you look just like the other tenant. I swear to God, when you're in the elevator, you'll see what I'm talking about. And they just laugh it off.

[A]

They just say it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let's talk about stuff. There is so much shit that gets delivered every day all over the world, especially in New York City. You see these big Amazon trucks. I mean, I feel like I get so many packages a day. And obviously, many people live in a building. How much stuff arrives to your doorsteps a day, a building? Like, what's the most packages you think you've received in a day?

[C]

Oh, over 200 at least. But that's. That's, like, around the holidays. Usually anywhere from November to December or the middle of January. November to the middle of January. Usually there's, like, holiday returns.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But anywhere there it could be, you know, 200 to 300 packages a day, roughly.

[A]

And that's just during your shift. That's probably not all.

[C]

Yeah, just during. Yeah, exactly. So it's probably more.

[A]

Okay. It's a lot. And how many people in the. In the building? About how many apartments?

[C]

Maybe like 800 or something like that.

[A]

800 people?

[C]

800 apartments? I think probably more people.

[A]

Okay. Wow. A lot of people. Okay, not that. So it's like one out of four people are ordering something in that day. Maybe. That's not bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I have days where I get not 200 packages, but maybe like 18 packages myself, which is embarrassing, you know? You know the type. There's someone like me in your building.

[B]

Yes, there is. There's packages every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know where they put it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. What's the greatest number of packages that have arrived?

[B]

I would say the most maybe around 150 for the day. But my building is much smaller, so the whole complex is about 200 units. But just in my building, which is a high rise, it's only about 82 units. So I'll get around Christmas time, which is about 150 to 200, I would say that day.

[A]

And what's the weirdest thing you've ever had to sign for? That's not just packages, but.

[B]

Yeah, a large item in a crate that I had to decrate. It would be like an expensive painting worth 30,000 or something. And it's just coming right to the front door. And of course they're not home. So. Daryl, can you please retrieve it for us? Of course, why not? So I'll sign, I'll get it decreded and I'll have somebody send it upstairs.

[A]

Yeah. Do you also place it on the wall or your services end there?

[B]

I get the handyman for that.

[A]

Is there one assigned to the building or is people?

[B]

There's one assigned, yes. We're full service.

[A]

Have you ever met the couch doctor? Do you guys know about this guy, the couch doctor who comes in? Okay, Darrell, explain who the couch doctor is.

[B]

The couch doctor. So if you have difficulty getting any kind of furniture upstairs because of a tight situation, you know, can't get around the walls, corridor, elevator, the couch doctor will literally come to on site and disassemble any kind of piece of furniture that you have and put it back together upstairs.

[A]

And does the couch doctor really come with a saw?

[B]

I don't know. They come with a saw. I haven't seen a saw. I sign them in, I send them where they have to go and they're the service way. I don't do anything after that. But I've literally seen them like take a big couch apart and get it upstairs. It's amazing. Really.

[A]

I gotta get that guy on the show at some point. I feel like he's a service. I don't know how they do it. Have you ever seen this service, Jen?

[B]

No.

[C]

This is the first time I've heard of this doctor.

[A]

He's a medical professional.

[C]

Yes, I see.

[A]

For leather items from Restoration Hardware.

[C]

No, I gotta get his contact information.

[A]

When a package gets missing, goes missing, do you become full detective mode?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. Many times people get upset, right?

[B]

Oh yeah. Especially it's expensive. They always want to tell us the amount of what the package is.

[A]

Most expensive package lost yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then the building has to reimburse them or you gotta find it in some way. Or if they're, you know, I got it insured. No worries. You get the nice tenants, I'll just reorder, you know, they'll send it back or whatever. But some. They're not so nice. But, yeah, I go into full detective mode. I find out the tracking number, when it was delivered, if it was picked up, if it's in the system as well. I used to be able to control the cameras, but now I just contact my boss and he goes through the whole camera footage to see if it was even delivered. And we have a timestamp and that's the most we could do. After that, you just have to call and hope you get it back delivered.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but I do it a lot.

[A]

We're into a game called Fuck, Marry, Kill. Are you guys familiar with this game? You're familiar.

[B]

Okay, you didn't tell me this. Correct.

[A]

Amazon deliveries, food deliveries or post office deliveries?

[C]

Kill the post office deliveries.

[A]

Usps. This is. Yeah, usps. Okay.

[C]

And I mean, we need to. So marry the food deliveries and the Amazon deliveries.

[B]

So I'll kill Amazon. Oh, now Amazon has spread. It's like six or seven different delivery guys now. Because Amazon does their own deliveries, so it's very annoying.

[A]

They deliver between 4am and 8am Yes, a lot.

[B]

Which is crazy. Why are you delivering at that time? You know. But when I need something. Yes, thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But other than that, it's like. That's ridiculous. So kill Amazon completely. Marry food deliveries.

[A]

Okay. You both want to marry food delivery.

[B]

Yeah. Food delivery is not that bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I guess, you know, you're with ups. Yes, you're with ups.

[A]

Okay. Can you tell when someone's a friend versus a friend with benefits when they come in different kind of delivery or.

[B]

What do you mean? Explain that.

[A]

A fly in girl is the technical term. But like, it's like. Can you tell when someone's like kind of like a lady of the night? Yeah.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

A lady of the night. That's the elegant term.

[C]

I can't really.

[B]

When it happened, I did.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Especially if I'm working night shift. I work the morning shift, so I don't get that as much. But if I'm working the late night shift. Yes, I've been able to tell.

[A]

Okay. Can you tell if someone's not a friend at all, but like a drug dealer? You know, that stuff happens.

[B]

There's.

[C]

I could definitely tell those.

[B]

We could. I don't wanna I do profile. That's my job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I see them in a regular. And I know what the person does, so. Yeah, I could tell.

[A]

I mean, a lot of your job is about safety and keeping people safe. I mean, it is like, at the end of the day, you guys are protecting residents. I feel like if I were ever to have a crime ring, I would only have women, because I think the number of times I can walk through a building and nobody even asked me a question is very high in New York. I'm talking luxury buildings. I might have done it once in your building, but, you know, the problem with your building is I can do.

[B]

It, and then I get stuck in the elevator, and you get st. I do that all the time. If you're. If you're. You just walk past me. You won't look at me. I know you're not from here. I'll let you go to the elevator just to see where you think you're gonna go. You have to come back to me. So I'll let you go up, and then you come back, and now you're all nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, hi, how can I help you? Oh, I need to go this floor. Well, you should have asked, and you should have said something when you saw me. I do that all the time.

[A]

Yeah. It wasn't you because it was me.

[B]

Oh, I know it wasn't me. I know it wasn't me.

[A]

You said you would have remembered me.

[B]

I would have remembered you. I'm good with faces. Names. Maybe it slips. Faces. I'm really good.

[A]

Do you guys think New York City is getting safer or more dangerous? You. You had a theory on this?

[C]

I think in some ways it's getting safer, but in other ways, it's actually getting worse. And I think the main culprit is neck wreck.

[A]

Neck wreck?

[C]

Yes. Have you heard people on their phones with their heads down, walking the city streets, and they're wrecking their neck, but they're also violating the whole social contract we've agreed to as city dwellers, where we have to be alert and, like, we have to, like, be personally responsible for our own safety. And when people are on their phones like that, you're just opening the door for criminals to just, you know, violate you or assault you or, you know, Rick Moranis got punched in the face randomly in Central park for no reason.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was he on his phone? Who knows? Maybe he was. But neck wreck is just making it much, much unsafer, if you ask me.

[A]

Because the city kind of depends on people being vigilant and noticing what's happening. But New York is a city where everyone pretends they don't notice what's happening. But actually when something happens, like I saw a woman get punched back when there was like, remember that people are getting punched on the street during TikTok and I saw that happen to somebody. Somebody grabbed a bottle and hit somebody else on the head and ran away and everybody stopped. Actually, that's the thing about New York. Everybody actually stopped at least for a second to be helpful. What do you think? Is it getting more dangerous?

[B]

No, it's. Yeah.

[A]

You think it's getting more dangerous?

[B]

Yeah, I don't. Even if you pay attention to your phone, you don't. It's chaotic out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even in high end areas, it's getting worse. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna end with a little bit of a lightning round, guys. We have spent this whole episode talking about doormen. Are there door women?

[C]

Door ladies?

[A]

Door ladies?

[C]

No, they are door checks.

[B]

There are. I've seen a couple.

[A]

Okay, interesting. And do you think that's because of the security aspect of the job or what is it?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, there's. There's factors to it, I think, like safety concerns. And you. You kind of want a bigger presence, I guess. I mean, not that women can't protect people, but. Yeah, I think there's something to. To that. To that angle of it.

[A]

How much should people tip?

[C]

Do what you feel is right.

[A]

Do what you feel is right.

[C]

Yes. That's my advice to the. If you feel good, services have been provided, then tip accordingly. But if not, that's okay too.

[B]

It varies, but I would say in the ballpark for me, from maybe 100 to 500.

[A]

And can you tell something about a person by how much they tip?

[C]

Yeah, but you don't want to put your whole judgment of them on this one. Act like there's many factors to a person and they could not. They could not be having the best time fiscally, you know, and in those cases, sometimes they tell you, hey, listen, things aren't the best for me right now. And I just. It's okay. This is, you know, enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you live in my building, you're good. I don't care. Fiscal. I don't care what went down. Even when they lose, they make. So like, not to put that on people. But they're good if you live in my building. So. But it's odd with tipping. You never know because I have people that are rarely ever there. Maybe twice a year I saw them and they tipped Me the most. You know, you have some people that's there all the time and they rarely tip you at all. So it varies. You never know. It's always a surprise.

[A]

But people who have building apartments in New York and that they're not living in, those people can afford to tip.

[B]

They can afford to tip.

[A]

They should be tipping 20, $30,000.

[B]

There should be something there.

[A]

Have you ever handled an eviction?

[C]

I've handled it in the worst way possible. I worked at a old folks home and they got evicted permanently. So we had to handle that, unfortunately. Yes, exactly. So seeing a, you know, dead resident and having a, oh my gosh, call the nurses and having them take the body away. So yeah, very sad.

[A]

Yeah. Have you ever seen.

[B]

The most I dealt with is maybe my manager confided in me, oh, this person's owed rent for this amount of money and they have it just not giving it. And that's it. After a while they'll settle it and they just move out. That's it. I don't deal with it. I just hear about it.

[A]

All right, well, I feel like you guys are gonna evict me because you have stuff to get back to. Who's watching the building while you're gone?

[B]

My doorman.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

She'S holding it down right now.

[A]

Wow, you're really paving the way.

[C]

We are progressing.

[A]

You're a feminist.

[C]

Yes, of course.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Good door person. Actually, that's the correct term.

[A]

Exactly. You also live in a door man building.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

So what is your. What have everything you've learned from being at the front of a building? How do you take that in with you when you go home to your building?

[C]

Well, I was told that I'm non intrusive by where I work at, which is a great compliment because it means I'm not intruding on the residents life. And I, when I'm a resident in my own building, I tend to put on a hoodie and I'm like a dark Jedi Sith Lord. I just go about my business, a friendly wave, you know, and I just keep it moving. And I really, I value, I like respect that they value, you know, my, my time. Kind of like what I do to residents. Like they're pretending that I have to use the bathroom because I really do.

[B]

Have to use the bathroom.

[C]

That's kind of how it is with them, but they're cool. I love them.

[A]

I love it. All right, interesting. So I end every episode of Smart Girl Dumb questions. Asking my guests what they are. Dumb curious about question that you have that you haven't been. You haven't asked out loud yet, and you would like the answer to.

[C]

I should know everything there is to know about pizza, but I don't know what's the oldest pizza shop in New York City. I would like to find that out and then go eat there and celebrate them.

[A]

Okay. That's something I can find out pretty quickly. I'm gonna come back to you, Joe, but what's the curiosity you've had that you haven't been able to solve?

[B]

Are women ever satisfied?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you get everything that you need in a relationship, the guy is great. Are you still good? Are you ever satisfied?

[A]

Are you talking New York Women? You talking women? Rhett, Lars.

[B]

Well, we could talk New York. I don't know anybody. We could talk New York.

[A]

Ah, yeah, it's. It's a. That's a tough one.

[B]

I don't understand women. I'm learning still. I think I'm pretty good, but I just don't get them. I'm still trying. I'm still trying.

[A]

All right.

[C]

A constant learning process.

[B]

It is. Yes. It's a lot on you, but yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good. I'm getting pretty good.

[A]

I love that question. That's a good question. All right, I think I can. Yeah, I will take it offline. Joe, what about you question that you have?

[C]

I wanted to know how podcasts were made. So there's some kind of learning as we speak.

[A]

It's a big production. A lot of people think it's like one person on a microphone and you can do a show like that. But nowadays everything's becoming a video show as well. And clips.

[C]

Yeah. So getting to learn that and getting to eat this 100-year-old slice of pizza.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

Those are the two things I'm curious about.

[A]

I love it. Thank you guys for being here. I so appreciate it. Daryl, Joe, thank you so much for taking the time. Yeah, I'll see you soon. I'll always say. Hi. I'm not trying to break through in your building. I'm not trying to break through in your building either. I mean, that ocular pat down.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Thank you guys so much.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

I think this was one of my favorite conversations ever. I just loved being in long form and hearing the stories that Daryl and Joe had. I really think of them as anthropologists. The words they use, studying, reading, the ocular pat down, which apparently comes from it's always sunny in Philadelphia. And I just really appreciated how they think about the world and their sense of when things are going right or wrong in a relationship. I mean, Jo basically seems like a predictive meter for a breakup at this point. Anyways, I think they are superheroes. I had so much fun talking to them. That's it for this episode of Smart Girl Dumb Questions. I'm your host, Naehyma Raza. Today's show was produced with Greg Ott and Annalisa Cochran and Wonder Studios. You can find Smart Girl dumb questions on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We'll see you next week.

[C]

Ocular Pat down is from Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[A]

Oh, is it?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's one of my favorite shows. Why didn't I even know?

[C]

Funny show. Didn't want to take the credit.

[B]

Dennis said it right.

[C]

Mac, watch that neck wreck now.

[B]

Don't.

[C]

Don't hurt yourself.

[A]

All right.

[B]

That'S not.

[A]

That's a Super Joe original.

[B]

Sa.