Love and Money: Financial Decisions People Immediately Regret

Summary

Smart Money Happy Hour with Rachel Cruze & George Kamel

Episode: Love and Money: Financial Decisions People Immediately Regret
Date: February 12, 2026
Host: Ramsey Network

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Episode Overview

Rachel Cruze and George Kamel dive unfiltered into the intersection of love and money—specifically, the financial decisions people regret making in the name of love, family, or well-intentioned generosity. Drawing on real-life calls from the Ramsey network and their own insights, they unravel how our emotions can drive costly predicaments. With a mix of humor, empathy, and tough love, they lay out lessons to avoid future heartbreak—financial and otherwise.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Why Love Clouds Financial Judgement (00:05–02:19)

• Rachel and George discuss how love—whether romantic or familial—often blinds people to financial red flags.
• Reality TV (“Love is Blind”) gets a mention as a metaphor for how emotions can override logic.

Notable Quote:

“So blinded by love. And call me like the Grinch of relationships, but dating a guy that goes $30,000 in credit card debt, not attractive.”
—Rachel (07:31)

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Real Stories: Financial Regrets for Love & Family

1. Helping a Romantic Partner with Debt (02:19–08:59)

• George replays a call featuring a woman who took out a loan in her name to pay her boyfriend's $20k credit card debt, only to discover he’s now $30k in debt again.
• Hosts examine the risks of enabling partners and taking financial responsibility without legal commitment.

Key Takeaways:

• Don’t combine finances or take on a partner’s debt unless married.
• Helping should not mean enabling self-destructive behavior.
• Ultimatums without boundaries lead to repeating mistakes.

Notable Moment:

“You care more about it than he does. And at this point, it’s enabling.”
—George (06:20)

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2. Co-signing for Family (09:00–14:11)

• Story of an 18-year-old caller whose mother had him co-sign a car loan—leading to repossession and collections.
• Dave Ramsey joins via call-in, labeling this “financial abuse.”

Advice Given:

• Never co-sign for anyone unless you’re willing to pay the whole thing.
• If a bank won’t approve someone alone, that’s a major red flag.
• Handling collections: Negotiate, settle in writing, never give direct access to your accounts.

Notable Quote:

“Wow, Hunter, that’s financial abuse by your parent. I’m sorry. It’s completely immoral.”
—Dave Ramsey (09:55)

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Three Major Financial Regrets Before Marriage (16:38–21:00)

1. Buying a house together before marriage (16:49)

   • No legal protection; extremely complicated if you split.
   • Courts can’t resolve cohabiting “randos” untangling property.

2. Co-signing on a car for a partner (18:42)

   • Makes you legally and financially liable for someone else’s choices.
   • Risk applies to both men and women; “Darren needs help sometimes.”

3. Paying off a partner’s debt before marriage (19:16)

   • Sweet intentions often lead to massive regret and financial loss.
   • Best practice: Pay off each other’s debts together only after marriage.

Notable Quote:

“Do not purchase a home together... Just rent, and ideally separately.”
—George (18:29)

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Three Money Mistakes with Family (22:32–26:17)

1. Loaning money to relatives (22:41)

   • Turns relationships transactional—creates awkwardness and resentment.
   • Giving (no expectation of repayment) is okay; lending creates strain.

2. Co-signing loans for family (24:25)

   • Opens you up to lawsuits and financial damage if family defaults.

3. Supporting family at your own expense (25:08)

   • If you’re drowning financially, you can’t rescue others; prioritize your own family security.

Notable Quote:

“Getting to a place where you are financially good... is probably the best thing. Like getting out of debt and emergency funds, those basics, making that be your priority.”
—Rachel (25:46)

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Rapid Fire: Unhinged Financial Decisions for Love (27:32–33:34)

Rachel and George react to stories from Buzzfeed and Reddit about wild financial choices made for the sake of love or loyalty:

Story Reactions:

• $5,000 spent on a boyfriend’s cat (27:48)
• Pouring money into parents’ financial holes with no change in their behavior (28:48)
• Taking on student loans based on a parent’s advice they’ll “go away” (29:14)
• Stretching finances to buy a boat for a spouse, only to never afford upkeep or repairs (30:11)
• Buying an ex-fiancé a car instead of paying for college; only $200 paid back after breakup (31:23)

Memorable Quotes:

“A cat has less of a soul than a dog.”
—Rachel (28:12)

“Ex-fiance... it comes from the French for regret.”
—George (31:46)

Key Lessons:

• Don’t bank your future or finances on others’ promises.
• Gifts and loans can create long-term regret if the relationship ends.
• Major purchases (“toys”) should always be bought with cash, especially boats.

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Psychological & Social Dynamics (33:34–36:23)

• Rachel and George reflect on why people make these mistakes: optimism and belief in the best outcomes (“You believe the best... and then you just don’t realize reality”).
• Establishing boundaries is not selfish, it’s wise.
• Honest, early conversations about money in relationships are crucial—use premarital counseling and programs like Financial Peace University.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Love is Blind & Financial Blunders: 00:05–02:19
• Caller: Loan for Boyfriend’s Debt: 02:19–08:59
• Caller: Car Co-sign Disaster with Mom (with Dave Ramsey): 09:00–14:11
• Top 3 Regrettable Pre-marriage Money Moves: 16:38–21:00
• Top 3 Family Money Regrets: 22:32–26:17
• Wild Internet Stories (Rapid Fire): 27:32–33:34
• Why We Do It & Setting Boundaries: 33:46–36:23

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Notable Quotes

• “Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. That's how I felt about that call.”
  —George (08:59)

• “If a bank who loves loans doesn’t want to give a loan, red flag, right?”
  —Rachel (14:25)

• “You got to put your own mask on first.”
  —George (25:48)

• “You are not a horrible person if you have boundaries relationally with money.”
  —Rachel (35:18)

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Tone & Style

Fun banter with an undercurrent of real talk and tough love. Rachel and George maintain their signature mix of relatability, southern charm, and a dash of snark—with pop culture references and honest empathy woven throughout.

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Final Thoughts & Actionable Advice

• Set clear financial boundaries with partners and family before commitments are formalized.
• Don’t mix large financial decisions (loans, co-signing, home buying) with relationships unless legally married.
• Financial literacy and honest conversations can prevent heartache—use tools like FPU and EveryDollar.
• Generosity should come from a position of stability, not at your own expense.
• If you make these mistakes, you’re not alone—but learn and move forward with firmer boundaries.

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Resources Mentioned

• Financial Peace University (FPU)
• EveryDollar budgeting app

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For more details or to listen to this episode, visit the [Smart Money Happy Hour feed].

Transcript

[A]

Ever made a questionable financial decision for the sake of love? Well, today we're talking love and tragedy, a la Shakespeare and Nick Lachey.

[B]

I would just say for me, again, call me old school, but there's something about a guy that I'm like, I just want to know.

[A]

Providing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That you have the ability to provide.

[B]

For your own person.

[A]

I don't know why, but a cat.

[B]

Has less of a soul than a dog. Have you ever set up two people and it backfired?

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Hey, guys, I'm Rachel Cruze.

[A]

I'm George Camel, and this is Smart Money Happy Hour.

[B]

Cheers, George.

[A]

Cheers.

[B]

Well, this is the show where two friends who happen to be money experts talk about what you're talking about everything from pop culture, current events, and money.

[A]

And let's talk about what we're sipping on today. It is a trophy wife spritz mocktail. Oh, it looks glittery.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's fun, if nothing else.

[B]

You see it in the camera right there, all spinning, glittery.

[A]

Just what I was wanting. I was like, you know what I need today? Forget fiber and carbs and protein. I need more glitter.

[B]

I need more glitter in my life.

[A]

So we go.

[B]

So good.

[A]

We'll stick around till the end. We're going to give you our rating and reveal the cost per glass.

[B]

George, have you seen Love is Blind, the show?

[A]

I saw a season against my will. Yes. The one with the Shane guy in it. Yeah, that was the most epic season.

[B]

I feel like.

[A]

Did it go downhill after that? Have you seen.

[B]

No, there's been some good ones. I've not watched the most recent, but, man, I could binge Love is Blind.

[A]

It's a great concept, I will say, as far as reality trash TV goes.

[B]

And it kind of pushes the whole idea to the limit of, like, yeah, is love blind? Like, can you really fall in love with someone without ever seeing them? And, man, I'll tell you, does that love last?

[A]

That's the big question.

[B]

I know. And a lot of them don't, which makes me think, you gotta be probably physically attracted to the person, too. Let's just throw it out there. But what we see is some tragedy on the Ramsey show when it comes to love, because people are blinded by love and they make some terrible financial decisions because of love, either for another person romantically or even for their family. And so that's what we're going to dive into this episode.

[A]

We're going to react to and unpack some of these predicaments. So let us know what you think in the Comments as we go along. All right, first we're going to relive a call that our friend Jade Warshaw and I took about a boyfriend, girlfriend, credit card debacle. This one was a doozy.

[B]

Oh, man, a tough one. Okay, let's check it out.

[C]

I want to know your guys opinions on me taking a second consolidation loan out for my boyfriend's credit card debt.

[D]

Ooh, is that for you?

[A]

It was like three bad decisions wrapped up in one. How did we get here?

[C]

So I've been with my boyfriend for about two years and when we met, when we met, he was making good income. I always make a good income. He, I guess, didn't really understand credit cards. I'm a credit card person and I know you guys hate that term, but I really am. I've never been in debt. I'm the one person that's able to like, reap the benefits, not pay the interest.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But my boyfriend has taught me now why people are not credit card people.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

He didn't really understand, I guess, interest. And the first time around was about a year ago. I was hoping to move in with him, take the next step, but we wouldn't do that. He's about 20,000 in credit card debt.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And so I had an offer. 0% interest, 15 months, up to 20 grand. I said, I don't need it, I'll take it. And I gave it to him. About 15. I took some for myself and.

[D]

Wait, you gave him.

[A]

Hold on, hold on.

[D]

Let me make sure I understand this. You took out the credit card in your name, but gave it to him to use?

[A]

No.

[C]

So it was a. It was a credit card loan. He had his own credit card. But I took out a consolidation loan for him because I was given an offer, like to me to just take out X amount of money I need.

[D]

But it's in your name.

[C]

Yes. And it's mostly paid off, actually.

[D]

Okay, so help me explain where we're at now. Because my thought is, like, if you took out one and it didn't work, why are we taking out another one? And why isn't he doing this? It bothers me. There's a couple things that bother me about this. A, that you're on the line and he's not. That's the. The raging thing.

[A]

The risk is all on you.

[D]

And then you're the one taking out. Yeah, to George's point, you're the one taking out the loans. Even though he's paying it, the loan is in your name. And you're saying, hey, you can do it like this. Yeah. It feels like you're kind of in charge and you're trying to mold him into who you want him to be financially. And he's like, all right, you want.

[A]

Me to do this?

[D]

Okay, I'll do it a little bit. And do you see that?

[C]

Yeah, I definitely do. And that's something I plan toward. I think that's probably what happened the first time at this point. You know, he's 30,000 in immediate debt, if not more.

[D]

Oh, so we went from 20, paid it almost off, and now we're at 30?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Okay. And what's he spending it on? Does he not have a job? What's going on?

[C]

No, so he takes home about. Yeah, he makes 80 before taxes. So his take home pays about 43amonth. And I did the math, we did the numbers. We just moved in together. And I didn't know he was back in debt until we, after we moved in together. So I would have not have done that going forward.

[D]

What I would not do in your shoes or in his shoes is I would not combine my money with this person. That's a one. And I would not put my neck on the line to get them out of debt because there's not a true, true commitment there and there's certainly no legality there to protect either of you. And so I would keep this. I would not. If you're going to choose to live together, that's your choice. I might say something different. And I would say something different, I'd ask, well, why don't you just get married? But if you're not going to get married, at the very least, keep your money separate. Because he's getting himself into this mess and he has a habit of spending more than he makes. He spends all that he gets and then some, and he's not really interested in doing anything about it. George, she seems like to be the only person who's interested in getting him out of that, which again, is he.

[A]

Care more about it than he does. And at this point it's enabling. Would you agree?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I would agree, which is why I came to my breaking point recently.

[A]

Well, it sounds like you've made an ultimatum like, hey, we're not going to move this relationship forward unless you get out of debt. Yes, but then you moved in with him. Do you have any debt?

[C]

Sort of pushing it on? No, I don't. I have maybe 10,000 student loans, but that's not accruing interest.

[A]

And so trick question number one, you do, because you took out the credit card loan in your name, plus you still have the student loans, so you've got your own financial goals. And we're trying to babysit this guy into doing the right things financially. So I feel like we got to get our ducks in a row and you go, dude, you live your life. We're not going to combine finances. You want to take this seriously, let me know. At this point, this relationship is at a standstill.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Man.

[A]

I had just relived the trauma from that call.

[B]

I know. Oh, man, I love that you said trick question. Yes, you do have debt.

[A]

Well, no, I don't have. Well, I still. Why can't people just tell us the truth? I'm like, okay, so blinded by love.

[B]

So blinded by love. And call me like the Grinch of relationships, but dating a guy that goes $30,000 in credit card debt, not attractive. Like, even if I was like, not even this hardcore no debt person, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, that feels so immature to me and irresponsible. It'd be one thing if it was like, so when we talked to these people, they lose a job. They have four kids to support. They put their application out, they can't find one. You know what I mean? Like, there's some, like, big stories with.

[A]

Big things like medical debt or something.

[B]

Just like a single guy in New York City who's like, yeah, I may not make enough to live the lifestyle I want, so I'm just gonna keep on swiping $30,000 worth.

[A]

Well, wouldn't you if you had sugar mama over here floating you with more lines of credit and loans?

[B]

I know. So I'm just crazy. I don't know. For me, I'm like, give me a responsible dude. You know what I'm saying? Someone that's going to show some level of self restraint. I don't know. So that was a. Yeah, it starts.

[A]

With, like, decent intentions. I'm not even going to say, good, because she wants to help him. Yeah, that's the only part. I'm like, okay, I get it. You want to help him, but you're helping this person in the worst way possible while putting your situation at risk while combining your life together, giving him.

[B]

A $20,000 loan basically in your name.

[A]

With a guy who you don't trust that just lied to you that now you owe the debt for. Yeah, it's just red flags all around. Zero green flags so far. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. That's how I felt about that call.

[B]

Love is Blind.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

So not a romantic type relationship by any means. But Dave and I, dad and I had this call of an 18 year old kid who was in a car loan with his mom and this was a. Yeah, this was a doozy when I was younger.

[E]

I'm only 21 now. But when I turned 18, freshly 18, my mom kind of had me co sign on a loan for her for a car, good car, because she has terrible credit.

[F]

You didn't have any. You were 18.

[E]

Yeah, I know. I didn't, I didn't have no credit and I didn't know anything about finances at all back then. But she had me co sign on the loan and then the car got repoed and. And now the loan is on my credit as well. And I don't really know. I don't know if I should just pay it or if I should or if there's any other way to kind of get out of it.

[F]

Wow, Hunter, that's financial abuse by your parent. I'm sorry. It's completely immoral. So do you have any information on how much the deficit amount is that they're trying to collect after the repo?

[E]

It's about 10,000 is how much is left. But the. But it's been like a year or two since we got taken, so it's been the collections by now. So I don't really know what to do there because I know you, your.

[F]

Damage to your credit report is going to stay there. The only thing we can do is limit the damage by settling your portion of the deficit. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

And so what amounts to is after you finish what I'm going to tell you to do and it's going to take you a little bit of effort, but after you finish this, it will show that you have been repoed because you have and that you settled the deficit. So it's like a bad debt that you settled.

[E]

Right.

[F]

Which is better than just a bad debt. Like way better. Okay. As far as your credit bureau goes, all right, not that worried about your credit. I don't want you doing this kind of stuff again. And hopefully you stay away from, from your mother when it comes to financial transactions. Yeah. So do you have any contact with the company that is trying to collect the deficit?

[E]

They sent me some letters, but other.

[F]

Than that now perfect. Okay, pull that letter out. It's got a phone number on it. Call them.

[E]

Okay, Will do.

[F]

All right, let me give you some real clear information. All right. Their job is a game. Their job is to screw with you. When you get on the phone okay. Your job is first, you give them no information except that phone number which you could block if you need to later. Okay. And then you tell them the truth. Okay. I was 18 years old. My mother asked me to co sign this. I had no idea I was doing it. And your company let me to be taken advantage of. I'm considering suing you.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

In other words, we're going to start with the offense instead of a defense. But I think. I'm not going to. I think it would be cheaper if as a 21 year old who's broke and you can't get anything from me because I don't have anything. It might be cheaper for both of us if we just settled my portion of this. You can chase her for whatever you want to chase her for, but I want to settle my portion of the $10,000. I have $1,000. I'll give you for that.

[E]

Gotcha.

[F]

Okay. You're probably going to be able to pull that off at about six conversations. Putting up with abusive, moronic individuals on the other end of the phone. And you'll probably be able to negotiate that for $2,000 or less. My portion of this. Settled. Remember this phrase, settled in full. And I've A, got to have that in writing. B, you will not have electronic access to my personal checking account. I will wire you the money or send you a prepaid $1,000 debit card. Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

Because if they have access to your checking account, they're scum. They'll clean you out. They lie. The collections business is filthy.

[A]

Papa Dave's gonna. Papa Dave. Oh, I love it.

[B]

The parental.

[A]

The bulldog comes out.

[B]

The parental. Yeah, bulldog comes out on those calls for sure. But isn't that Sad though, at 18.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That this mom asked him to sign and he co signed. Didn't know what he was doing. I mean, you're 18. You're like a senior in high school.

[A]

Dave's spot on. That was financial abuse. For a mom to have her kid do that cause of her terrible credit, which who knows what else is going on.

[B]

I know. And she was obviously desperate, Right. To figure it out. But it's just bad decision after bad decision. And then you rope your kid into your bad decisions and then it gets repoed. Yeah. Just.

[A]

And people don't understand when they co sign a loan, they're going, well, I guess I can help him out. And you don't understand that's you taking on that debt because the company doesn't trust the other individual to even pay the debt back.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So it's double the risk.

[B]

If a bank who loves loans doesn't want to give a loan, Red flag, right? I mean, red flag.

[A]

We don't want to then trust the 18 year old who's broke to take it on. They're going, well, we'll just repo. Either way the lender is going to make their money.

[B]

Yes, I know.

[A]

So they don't care. And people don't understand that even when you repo a car, they still come after you for the difference. Because they take it to auction, sell it for way less than it's worth.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And they still come after you.

[B]

If you're ever in a situation, sell it as fast as you can, even if you're underwater, get it sold. Do not let it get repoed.

[A]

Never, ever, ever co sign any type of loan, but especially a car. And he would have been better off going, mom, I got three grand. I can try to get you as best a car I can for three grand. That would have been a better scenario. She really wanted to help her out.

[B]

Oh, so hard, man, that's so tough. Well, I'll tell you one thing that does brighten my mood is when I get into bed and I have my cozy earth sheets and I have cozy earth towels and blankets and all the things in my life because it is amazing. Cozy earth products are incredible. The quality is unmatched, you guys. And all of their new collections are incredible. The Baja collection for their bedding. It's beautiful and, and so like pleasant to look at. Like it's so soothing. It's so great. So they always keep up. I feel like with the trends, there's always like this like level that feels very elevated, like with all their stuff. But it's not obnoxious. Like it's like wonderful, beautiful things.

[A]

Absolutely. And my, my toddlers had a hard time falling asleep, so she wants me to like lay next to her for a little bit. And so what do I have? The cuddle blanket. And that's what I'm using on the floor. And it still feels luxurious, even on the floor. If you've got the cuddle blanket, you're living like a king.

[B]

You're living a good life.

[A]

So that's what I' I don't think I can medically say this, but I think it can cure seasonal depression. It's about as close as you can get without medication and sunshine. I know because it just, during these cold months, it just gives you a little bit of warmth and joy.

[B]

So helpful. And they're giving Our listeners a great deal.

[A]

Killer deal. You can get up to 20% off when you go to cozyearth.com smartmoney and use promo code Smart Money at checkout. And if you get a post purchase survey, let them know that you heard about them on Smart Money Happy Hour.

[B]

Okay, George, here's. We're gonna list out three financial decisions that people regret making before marriage. Okay?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'll throw my first one out. Buying a house together before marriage.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Putting both of your names on the loan, on the deed, all of it. You're sharing a house without any legal repercussions because there's no legal.

[A]

No protection, no security, no legal binding there.

[B]

Nope. No legal marriage.

[A]

Two randos. Two randos going into the biggest financial transaction of their life.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, we get this so much because at least if you are married and something happens, right, the courts are gonna help you settle. You're gonna figure out, you know, asset allocation, all of it, when you are not married. And if you break up and it happens, even though you. You may be thinking, that will never happen. We'll never break up. He's my forever. We get the call on the Ramsey show, and it's like, hey, I bought a house with my girlfriend five years ago, and she's been living in it, and now I'm trying to get married and buy my own house with a new girlfriend, and I can't because this old one, I mean, I have to evict her. I mean, it is horrible to untangle, you guys. It is terrible.

[A]

And there's so many complexities to it because they're like, well, I put more down than she did, and. And I was paying more towards the mortgage than she was, and I paid for the renovation repair, and she didn't. So even getting out of it is a nightmare. And even if one person owns it and you decide to move in and pay them rent, well, if the relationship goes sideways now, they're going, well, how do I get that money back? That's right, you don't. Is the truth. And so it really. There's no good situation I've heard come out of this. And so we tell people all the time to avoid it, because all we hear on the Ramsey show is the terrible things that can happen and will happen for sure.

[B]

So do not purchase a home together.

[A]

Just rent. Just please rent. And ideally separately, we've just found that works out better. And when you're ready to get married and move in together, do that.

[B]

That's great. Yeah. But do not Put your name on a property together until you're married.

[A]

Yes. All right, here's mine. Co signing on a car before marriage. So we talked about this with the caller who co signed a car for his mom, but this is with the person you're in love with, and they can't afford it, Rachel. And they just really need that car. So just be a good boyfriend. Come on, be a good girlfriend. I don't want to put it on the girls because the guys do this.

[B]

I switched up the roles. I appreciate that.

[A]

This goes both ways. We've seen it all on the Ramsey show.

[B]

Darren needs help sometimes.

[A]

You know Darren. It is usually a Darren.

[B]

All right, number three. Paying off your partner's debt before marriage. Oh, man.

[A]

This one has, like, sweet intentions. Like, well, I'm financially responsible and I want to just help them clean up a mess.

[B]

I know it comes with the purest heart. I really do think this is like the. I'm gonna use my money because I see them struggling or, you know, they need help. And so I'm gonna give my hard earned money to this boyfriend or girlfriend, and it's gonna be great. And sometimes it works out, you know, and sometimes you even break up and you still don't regret it because you're just this person that's like, listen, you're.

[A]

Such a good person.

[B]

But majority of the time it's like, oh, my gosh, I saved $15,000 of my own money and I paid off his credit cards and then he left me and started dating someone else. And you're like, I just gave you 15 or whatever the number is. Right.

[A]

Or they kept going into debt and the relationship didn't work out because of probably financial reasons and otherwise just incompatible. And it adds to the resentment of the broken relationship is you have all the shame and guilt along with it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, why did I do that? I'm so stupid. Again, just purely blinded by love. So what's the better alternative? You can still save up money, and then after you come back from the honeymoon, you got a big pile of cash you can use to pay off your debt. Collectively, our debt. That's the healthy way to do it. But not a moment sooner.

[B]

No. And even if you're engaged, I wouldn't. Because again, there's no. I mean, there's still wait. Yeah, wait till you're married. And again, you can be saving as if you're paying off that debt. Right. So if she comes in with a $40,000 student loan and you're debt free and you can be saving on the side and she can be working to pay that off. So by the time you get married, maybe it's down to 30,000 and you've saved 10. Right. And now there's a $20,000 loan that you guys are going to tack together after you get married. But yeah, don't be swapping money until after you are married. Keep it clean.

[A]

Just tackle your own debt individually until you're officially married.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

It's that simple.

[B]

Absolutely. And then once you get married, you want to combine your finances. And combining your money and sharing an account is so smart. And doing it with Fairwinds Credit Union is even better because Fairwinds offers so many incredible packages, including the Smart Bundle, which is a no fee checking account, a high yield savings account, and the Ramsey debit card. It says debt is normal. Be weird. I was gonna say it's cute. Can a debit card be cute?

[A]

I think so. I think it can also be handsome.

[B]

Yeah, it's all of it. But it's so great. And so Winston and I opened up the Smart Bundle and even their app, you guys, on Fairwinds, we connected this other checking account that we had to it and so like it like it is so easy to use. The interface is so easy. The debit card is wonderful. And that's what I use now. I was at dinner with a bunch of girlfriends the other night and we all put the cards on the table, you know, because we're all splitting the check. It was funny because there was a.

[A]

Lot of, a lot of chatter.

[B]

All credit cards, all black credit.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Like all these like bougie Amex, Capital One. Yeah, that's how naive I am. I didn't know that some of the credit cards are thick. Like one was like really like got.

[A]

Some weight to it. They want to impress you.

[B]

And I threw my Fairwinds debit card right there. That blue shined through like a beacon of light.

[A]

You know the most impressive part, that was the one card that actually had real money attached to it.

[B]

I know, I know. So yeah, pulling out the Fairwinds debit card. I love it. So you can get an account if you go to Fairwinds.org Ramsey and open up your Smart bundle today.

[A]

All right, let's flip the script. Rachel, if you had to list the top three financial mistakes people make with non romantic free family members, what would those be? So think parents, kids, cousins, in laws.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Number one for me, probably loaning money to a relative.

[A]

It's a classic one I know. Again, really sweet good intentions here. You want to help someone in need, and who better than family to do that too?

[B]

Yeah. It's like siblings or in laws, parents, and it just changes the relationship. Again, the giving portion is great. Right. If you are in a place financially and someone needs help or something comes up and you want to just give that money. Give it like that. Yeah. If you don't feel like you're enabling behavior over and over and over again. Right. And there's just like, there's an actual.

[A]

Need versus, like, well, they're just bad with money. Let me throw more money at the brother.

[B]

That's right. That's right. Yep.

[D]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

So the giving part is great. It's the loaning and waiting for it to be paid back. Oh, it's so awkward because then you're looking at everything they're spending money on.

[A]

You see their Instagram post from the vacation and you go, wait, they still owe me money.

[B]

You owe me money.

[A]

And this happens a lot with parents who loan their kids money. This can even happen the other way. We see this on the Ramsey show of my mom is irresponsible or my dad and I loaned them money and they never paid me back. Or my sister and this has happened multiple times. And I keep giving her money and she doesn't pay back. Or she did pay back two times, but now she hasn't. And again, you don't want this relationship to become lender and lendee. You want it to stay an intimate family relationship with no strings attached.

[B]

Yes. Keep it separate. Keep it separate. Not worth. Yep.

[A]

I've just never seen it where it doesn't change a relationship. People like, like, oh, they're. I can't believe how cruel they are. I'm like, I care about the family member and the relationship more than this transaction. If they need money, they can go to a lender and get it. Yes. I don't want to be a part of it.

[B]

That's right. There's a whole world of debt if they really need it. Yeah. Don't let you. Don't be the bank. You don't have to be the bank.

[A]

All right, next up, how about this one? Co signing a loan for relatives that you don't share a bank account with.

[F]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Like that car video we just watched.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's all the co signing that we've been talking about this episode, but, man.

[A]

So it's one thing to be the personal lender, it's another to co sign and now you're a part of this.

[B]

You're the triangle of the bank.

[A]

Now someone can come after you and sue you.

[B]

Yes. And then it's your freaking in laws or your parents or whoever it is that caused that to happen. You know what I mean? Like that kid and his mom, it's like, oh, then there's probably a level of frustration you have with them because they've affected your life. Now when you are trying to be the quote unquote, like, good person of the co signer. So, yeah, not worth it.

[A]

Too much risk there. And then how about this one? Supporting them at the expense of your own finances.

[B]

This is a hard one. I know. We talked to so many people that are trying to get in a place financially where they have control. They're getting out of debt like they're trying to do all the right things, and then they're trying to support someone else on the side that's not doing the right things. And it ends up being this, like, black hole of money. So getting to a place where you are financially good, honestly is probably the best thing. Like getting out of debt and emergency funds, those basics, making that be your priority. And then above that, if you do choose to help someone, you can, but you're like drowning in a boat, you know, and everyone's drowning around you and no one's going to end up being saved. Right. You're all going down with the ship.

[A]

Yeah. You got to put your own mask on first. And we see that a lot, especially like a young family. They have kids, they're trying to get out of debt, and they're like, well, mom and dad need our help, and so we're gonna try to give them money instead of cleaning up our own mess. Well, you're just gonna perpetuate the mess generationally at that point where your kids are gonna have to clean up your mess and so on and so forth. So you have to be the one to break it and go, no, I'm gonna get my family in a great position. And if one day we can help those around us and family members, we're gonna try to do that.

[B]

That's right. That's right. Yep.

[A]

Get your own house.

[B]

Generosity is part of it all. But again, you can't be overly outrageously generous by helping someone if you have bills to pay yourself. Right. And you're trying to keep your family afloat. So that's not being selfish or anything. It's being responsible and taking care of your own household first, which is totally great. And good.

[A]

And good now, if you do want to help your loved ones, one way you can do that is with Delete Me. Yes, It's a great service that will help protect them from financial harm and online threats.

[B]

The gift that keeps on giving. Delete me. We love them. We do. Because our information is all over the Internet. You don't realize it, but man, your. Your addresses, your home addresses from three times ago where you lived is out there. Phone numbers, kids, names, I mean, everything is out there. And Delete Me has a privacy team of real people that go onto these data broker websites and remove your data. And the amount of hours they save, the amount of times they've removed my name from all these, I mean, it's amazing. They are incredible, you guys. So make sure to check them out.

[A]

And they're giving our listeners a great discount. 20% off the annual plans. When you go to this website, coindeleteme.com smart money. Go there to get the deal. We'll also drop a link in the description below and I promise you will sleep better for it. Making sure that your digital privacy is taken care of.

[B]

All right, let's do a little rapid fire. React to the most unhinged things people have done for love. According to Buzzfeed and Reddit.

[A]

It's where vulnerability happens. Okay, where are people sharing honest, unfiltered, craziest stuff?

[B]

Right there.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Right there.

[A]

Here's the first one. A woman spent $5,000 on her boyfriend's cat, only for it to die a month later.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

That's real sad.

[B]

$5,000.

[A]

Oh, man, that's a brutality.

[B]

Not even your cat. You know what I mean?

[A]

Boyfriend's cat.

[B]

Boyfriend's cat.

[A]

And I don't know why, but a cat. I'm not a cat person.

[B]

Has less of a soul than a dog.

[A]

I just feel like I couldn't tell cats apart as much as a dog.

[B]

I know, I know. I don't think a cat knows as much as a dog.

[A]

Are they smarter?

[B]

I don't know. I feel like a dog is more very aware.

[A]

I don't trust a cat as much as a dog.

[B]

Cat doesn't really care, but that is sad. That's hard.

[A]

I don't know. I wonder, did she regret it? We don't know. I imagine you regret it a little bit, but it was for an animal, like it was out of her control.

[B]

You know, it was out of her control.

[A]

It was out of her control. What happened? Like, she hoped the cat would live and have a great life.

[B]

Sure, absolutely. But, oh, My God.

[A]

It was in her control not to spend five grand on an animal she didn't own.

[B]

Okay, number two, I poured so much money into my parents financial troubles, and their habits haven't changed a bit.

[A]

That's the summary right there.

[B]

That is so frustrating. Pouring money you're giving onto and giving and giving.

[A]

People who don't want to change doesn't.

[B]

And they just keep spending or doing whatever, and you're like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, you got to change the. The behavior in order to see that money go forward.

[A]

And again, you can't change people. That's the frustrating part. So you think, well, what can I do? I can pour money onto the problem.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Which usually just makes it worse. All right, this one is interesting. My mom advised me to take on student loans for college and told me they'd, quote, eventually go away. I'm a decade in, still drowning in interest. What did she mean, eventually go away?

[B]

I will say we were, like, three years ago. I mean, there was a big thing that student loan forgiveness. Like, people really did.

[A]

Like, it was bound to happen.

[B]

Yeah, they really did think all of your student loans would be wiped away. So I guess the mom just got caught up in that rhetoric and was just like, don't worry, they'll pay it off.

[A]

But was she thinking like, well, eventually you'll make enough payments that it stops?

[B]

No, I think she thinks that it was gonna be wiped away.

[A]

Like, if you just don't pay after a certain amount of time, they forgive you.

[B]

I think eventually, yeah, eventually they'll get go. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Also, over a decade, you never thought twice about your mom's random advice about student loans as the balance ballooned in accrued interest. You're like, no, but mom said. It's so true. Mom said, though, it's like, dude, you're 34.

[B]

Yeah, I know. We gotta get some reality here.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Okay, number four. My husband wanted a boat, so we stretched ourselves thin with a loan and then never had the cash to keep it or afford the repairs, so we ended up being afraid to use it.

[A]

Yikes.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

That's insult to injury right there.

[B]

That's horrible. You're paying payments on something that you can't even afford to keep up with.

[A]

People don't think about that. And our friends, the minimalists, they talk about this like, you gotta think about the total cost of something, not just what it costs to get the item, but how much is it going to cost for the upkeep, the maintenance, the repairs, the Dock fee for the boat, the fuel to put in the boat. All of these things add so much on top of a boat, which is the insurance.

[B]

All of it.

[A]

There's a reason that it's usually wealthier people that own boats.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so taking out debt to do it on top of not doing the math to go, we can't even afford the monthly cost of this thing. And then going, well, I guess we can't use it. It's just sitting there collecting dust, going down in value, while your lo. Balance keeps going up. That's sad. So remember, these are toys. And that's why we always say, pay cash for your toys. Make sure anything in your life with motors and wheels doesn't add up to more than half your annual income. That will keep you from making a regretful decision.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

All right, last one. I bought my ex fiance a car instead of paying my second year of college. He only paid me back $200, and we broke up months later.

[B]

Oh, no. Ex fiance.

[A]

George C. The old ex fiance. There's a reason ex fiance is a word in the English language because it happens. It comes from the French for regret.

[B]

Could you.

[A]

I mean, that's ex fiance.

[B]

Ex fiance.

[A]

So she bought him a car.

[B]

Oh, man. I mean, that had to be, what, 10,000 plus.

[A]

So did she even pay?

[B]

She was gonna pay for college. She was gonna pay for college.

[A]

So did she go into debt for her second year, I'm assuming, or did she just not go?

[B]

I'm assuming. So we don't know. But I. That's how I took it. She had money saved, and then she bought him a car instead of paying for that year's college.

[A]

You got to love the gesture of the 200 bucks. And he's like, hey, how's this?

[B]

I know.

[A]

I know you spent 20 grand on the car, but does 200 do anything for you?

[B]

Is this good? Is this good? Oh, my God.

[A]

But the red flags were there to me. I'm like, ladies, if the red flags are there, do not continue. All right, let's put pause and let's look into this.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And if he can't fix it, call me old school.

[B]

I am not mad with women making more than their husbands at all. Okay? And that's. Even seasons of life, Winston and I have fluctuated. Who makes more? So it is not like a. I would just say for me, again, call me old school, but there's something about a guy that I'm like, I just want to know.

[A]

Providing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That you have the ability to provide.

[B]

For your own person, let alone like a family. But like, I just need to make sure you can take care of yourself and you if you can't. Right. Or I'm like, oh my God. Like, yeah, that's not. I don't know, that's just not attractive.

[A]

No, that's not. I think that's just like scientific. There's like a primal thing where like a provider. Yes. Women are looking for someone to protect and provide. It's that simple.

[B]

Seriously.

[A]

And if you can't do that, let those red flags speak to you.

[B]

And if Darren's not there, I don't have enough money for a car, you know, but I got 200. I got 200 bucks. It'd be different if Darren was like, I don't have a car but I'm gonna go work a part time job while we're in college to save up and get one. I'd be awesome, Darren. Thank you. That's great. That's smart. Like, thank you for showing initiative. But that Darren needs Stephanie to buy him a car.

[A]

I want to know if there are any Stephanie's and Darren's out there. Let us know in the comments if that's you. I feel like they're incompatible. Stephanie and Darren simply do not go together.

[B]

I don't know why. That's just. I don't know. Yeah, terrible.

[A]

I'm like, I.

[B]

What did we learn? What did we learn, George? What have we learned today?

[A]

People are going to be people. We are humans that run off of emotions instead of logic. And love only exacerbates the emotion and takes away the logic.

[B]

It's so true.

[A]

Sorry, Jean. $10 word. I don't know what exactly. I don't know if I've ever used exacerbate in a sentence.

[B]

No, it's great.

[A]

That's what I think is happening here.

[B]

When we say love. And I think you really do believe because again, we get these calls all the time. Well, we're going to get married in two years or whatever. You really do believe in the future of the relationship, right?

[A]

You believe the best.

[B]

Yeah. And I'd say for the most part, if you're any in any length of a relationship, dating wise, that's gonna be the natural next step. So I'm sure it's being talked about or thought about. Not in the first beginning stages. I think it's fine. Just a date to have fun. But yeah, once you're like progressing enough to buy someone a car, you probably do think it's gonna go the distance to a degree and, man, and then that just again, all the intentions are good. You really believe it. And then you just don't realize about reality that Darren goes and dates someone else, you know?

[A]

That's so sad. Yeah. The debt and risk always muddy the good intentions, and it rarely works out. And so clear communication with a loved one, with family, is always key, especially when it's about money. And find out, is there another way I can help this person that doesn't involve me enabling them or taking on debt in my name or putting my financial situation at risk?

[B]

Yes, that's right.

[A]

And usually the answer is, yes, there's another way. And it may not be as clean cut. It may not get them the result they want as fast as they want it.

[B]

Yeah. And you're not a horrible person if you have boundaries relationally with money. If you just say, hey, we're just not a couple that lets people borrow money from us. That's who we are. That's okay. Or if you're a person, you're like, I'm not gonna give large amounts of money to people that I'm not married to in a relationship. That is okay. Right. I mean, like, these are not bad things. These are very wise things. So making that a part of your life is.

[A]

And then if you're dating or you're engaged, make sure to talk about money before tying the knot. Premarital counseling, super helpful. And on the financial side, I found Financial Peace University is one of the best ways to work through that. To get on the same page, to learn the same language, to create the same expectations, to develop a plan and a vision for your future together. And then if you are so unaligned on that, that's a great time to pause.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You might have just dodged a bullet there.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

In a divorce, down the line, if you figure out we are incompatible and there's no hope, that might be the best move is for you guys to break up. Or you find out, oh, we just needed a plan. We didn't have something to aim at. We never had financial literacy growing up. FPU is awesome. So we will drop a link to that in the description.

[B]

Yeah. And if you're married, doing a budget together is wonderful, and every dollar is awesome for that. So we'll put a link down as well for you to check that out.

[A]

So many resources, so much hope.

[B]

We want to help.

[A]

Yes. And if you're listening to this show, I imagine you're not the type of person to ever experience this dilemma. So please continue that we're cheering you.

[B]

On your good habits. That's right. All right, before we spill the tea on our guiltiest charge segment, George, what do you think? What's your rating?

[A]

This is a trophy wife Spritz Mocca.

[B]

I love the name. I think that's fun.

[A]

A strong name, and it really is a beautiful drink. This feels like something you would order at, like a Restoration Hardware in the cafe. You know, something bougie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, this probably cost as much as a cocktail, even though there's no alcohol in it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Here's what is in it. Non alcoholic sparkling wine, honey, club soda, mint and grapefruit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's what it is. It's the honey.

[B]

The honey and grapefruit.

[A]

The minting grapefruit creates something really interesting. The total cost is $3.53.

[B]

Oh, it's an expensive one. Yeah.

[A]

A lot of ingredients in there. Mint ain't cheap. Grapefruit not a cheap fruit. What would you rate it?

[B]

I'm going six out of ten. Here's my thing. I didn't hate it. It wasn't gross. I feel like sometimes we've had drinks that are like, oh, my gosh, it's gross.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not gross, but I don't know if I'd order it at a restaurant.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, I'll go 6.5. I think I like these flavors together. I. You know how I feel about glitter. And there's just simply too much glitter.

[B]

Look at that glitter.

[A]

For me to go.

[B]

Pretty, though. Anyway, that's my favorite part of the drink, actually, George.

[A]

Yeah, but art is pretty. I don't need to eat art.

[B]

I like the.

[A]

That's kind of how I feel about it. Like, I'm okay with it being pretty, but the edible glitter can go.

[B]

That is so much. I wonder if you can see that on the camera.

[A]

Go to a dark place.

[B]

Pretty fun.

[A]

It is gorgeous. It does have a satin finish that I just go.

[B]

It's very, like, velvety feeling.

[A]

But then I'm just thinking, hey, small intestines. Have fun with this one.

[B]

Digest it.

[A]

I know that edible glitter is real, but I still am not convinced that we should be imbibing it. That's how I feel. So get the recipe in the show notes. Give it a try this weekend. Hey, the kids can have it, too.

[B]

That's right. So fun.

[A]

And if you want to spike it, you know, just use the alcoholic version of sparkling wine.

[B]

There you go. Use some real wine. All right, now it's time for guilty as charged. And this is where we give each other a new Guilty as charged. Question every week. And if we're guilty, we take a sip. All right. George, have you ever set up two people and it backfired?

[A]

Oh, boy. I think I'm so risk averse. I would never want to be on the tail end of that. Of me being like, oh, boy, I'm the reason for that trauma.

[B]

I've set up people. One worked and they got married.

[A]

What a success story.

[B]

Hey, Drew. Mary Ellen. I know. It was one of Winston's friends from college. She was my best friend in high school. She went to Auburn. We were at ut. We were home for New Year's. Winston and I were dating, and Winston was like, yeah, Drew's gonna come hang out. And I was like, oh, my gosh. My friend Mary Ellen, my best friend from Auburn's in town. You gotta meet her. They're married with three kids now. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Do you feel personally responsible for that? Like, legacy and family trait.

[B]

How noxious. I was at the rehearsal dinner.

[A]

I was like, hi, I'm Rachel. You don't know me, but I'm the reason you're all here. Yeah, I could totally see that speech.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. No. It makes me so happy, though.

[A]

You are more of a Catholic.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

You know Drew.

[B]

You know Drew.

[A]

Yeah. I was gonna say it's gotta be that Drew.

[B]

I know.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Great guy.

[B]

Oh, great. Yeah, they're awesome. So great.

[A]

I need to try it. Now that you say that, I wanna attempt it.

[B]

I know. That was great. Okay. And I've set people up dating wise. And I did. No. So we had a. Yep. A girl I knew and then one of Winston's friends. And. Yeah. It just didn't. It wasn't, like, bad, but they were both like.

[A]

Wasn't it?

[B]

I was like, oh, man. Now they're both married.

[A]

What is the thing that makes you think these two people would be compatible.

[B]

At that point in life? Cause it was past the point that, like, there was kind of, like, a wave. Everyone got married. And then a few years after, it was, like, still. Like, there were a couple of the single people still hanging out.

[A]

Stragglers.

[B]

Yep. And so. And I love all those people, like, whether they're my friends or Winston's friends, like, they're such great people. So if I knew anybody else that was, like, fun and cute and, like, oh, my gosh, I've got to pair you up with this. Like, I just was, like, so fun.

[A]

And cute are the main two parameters we're looking at.

[B]

Yes. That's good. I was sad that One didn't work out, actually. I'm not sad because they both married great people, and that one did not.

[A]

Work out for me.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. They all. Yeah. This was like 12 years old.

[A]

I don't know if you could attest to this. I feel like the pool of quality, wonderful single women is much bigger than the quality single pool of men in the Nashville. Greater. Greater Nashville area.

[B]

Always said it. Yes.

[A]

I don't know. What do they. All the guys get snatched up in.

[B]

College and where are the single guys? I know.

[A]

So I don't know. I feel for the women in this area because I'm like, they're amazing. Like, what? And they're like, well, do you know any guys? I'm like, no, I guess they're all.

[B]

Married, so I know where are.

[A]

I'm like, no, they should stay single. Like, I don't want to vouch for them.

[B]

I don't want to vouch for them.

[A]

I don't want to be some people. It's okay on the line for them. Should stay single.

[B]

I know it's hard. Yep. It is. It's tough. But. Yeah. So I am good for you.

[A]

Track record's pretty good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I will try it.

[B]

If I. I always keep my. My eye out.

[A]

My friend Will, who's in this room. I'm really. I'm gonna find a wonderful woman for you.

[B]

Oh, yes. For sure.

[A]

I got you, Will.

[B]

Okay. I hate to say it, too. At my age now, it's like, you.

[A]

Act like you're in your 50s.

[B]

I know. I'm about to be in my poor. A lot of our friends are in the 40s, and it's like, well, you start so naturally.

[A]

It gets harder as you get older.

[B]

And they're like, okay, here's a guy that, you know.

[A]

There's like, more, like, baggage and there's more trauma, and you just get older and lose hope. And it's a lot. Yeah. But you hear these amazing stories. People meeting on, you know, dating apps or whatever.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, eharmony and Hinge.

[B]

Eharmony. Our people are still in eharmony movie.

[A]

Good for you, Debbie. You know what I mean? Like in the 50s, just meeting. Met a guy.

[B]

Amen. All about it. Yeah. I'm not anti dating app. No, it's great.

[A]

Let me tell you. The pool of men holding fish. We gotta stop that.

[B]

We have talked about dating app profiles a lot.

[A]

The guys on there, it's entertainment. Like female single friends who show me their dating apps. I'm like, God bless your ministry.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You should get paid to be swiping on there if you're aware to be doing this.

[B]

Oh man. Well, if you have a guilty as charged question, make sure to DM us at Rachel Cruz and at George Campbell. And thank you guys always for watching and listening. Leave a review if you love this episode, and if you loved it, check out our other episode, date nights from zero to $10,000. We've got you covered. We will leave a link for you and make sure to subscribe and hit that follow button so you don't miss an all new episode of Smart Money Happy Hour. Sam.