Reacting to the Wildest “Am I the Jerk?” Reddit Threads

Summary

Smart Money Happy Hour with Rachel Cruze and George Kamel Episode: Reacting to the Wildest “Am I the Jerk?” Reddit Threads
Release Date: May 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Smart Money Happy Hour, hosts Rachel Cruze and George Kamel dive into some of the most provocative and relatable financial and relationship dilemmas submitted by Reddit users under the "Am I the Jerk?" threads. With their characteristic blend of expertise and personable banter, Rachel and George dissect each scenario, offering insightful advice and highlighting common pitfalls in managing money within personal relationships.

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Exploring Reddit's “Am I the Jerk?” Threads

1. Telling Wife’s Friends About Income

Timestamp: [04:07]

A Reddit user shares that he earns over $500,000 annually in investment banking, while his wife comes from family money and doesn’t earn as much. When his wife’s friends jokingly label him a "gold digger," he defends his standing by asserting, "I definitely make more than she does right now" ([04:07] – Rachel Cruze).

Rachel Cruze: "These conversations saying...probably some big inheritance or trust...Am I the problem? No, he's not the problem at all."

George Kamel: "I do think his ego got in the way...but I don't think he's a jerk for doing that."

Analysis: Rachel and George agree that the issue lies more with the toxic friend group rather than the husband. They emphasize the importance of communication and viewing the marriage as a partnership where income disparities should not undermine respect and mutual support.

2. Not Returning an Engagement Ring to Ex-Fiance

Timestamp: [12:23]

A woman caught her fiancé cheating a few months into their engagement and broke off the relationship. She retains the engagement ring and plans to sell it to recoup wedding expenses. Her ex-fiancé demands the return of the ring, threatening legal action.

Rachel Cruze: "Is she the problem? No."

George Kamel: "If he cheats...keep the ring and sell it...It's a gift."

Analysis: The hosts concur that since the fiancé was unfaithful, keeping the ring is justified. They clarify that under most circumstances, the ring is considered a gift, and unless the breakup is mutual, she retains the right to keep it.

3. Separating Finances Due to Husband’s Secret Spending

Timestamp: [17:38]

A woman discovers that her husband, who is currently not working due to an accident, has been secretly spending their savings by giving money to his parents, despite an agreement to stop as they never repay.

Rachel Cruze: "You are not the problem. But you cross the line...spending money in secret."

George Kamel: "This feels like financial infidelity...not trustworthy."

Analysis: Rachel and George identify the husband's secret spending as a breach of trust and financial infidelity. They recommend a heartfelt conversation to address the issue and suggest involving a counselor or financial advisor if mutual understanding isn't achievable.

4. Buying Designer Items with Own Money

Timestamp: [10:16]

A woman earning over $500,000 annually enjoys purchasing designer items for herself, while her husband urges saving for potential recessions or their children's needs. She only spent 5% of her income on these purchases by selling some stocks.

Rachel Cruze: "She's not the problem."

George Kamel: "The percentage matters...possible to budget and set boundaries."

Analysis: The hosts affirm that indulging in personal purchases isn't inherently wrong, especially if it constitutes a small portion of income. They advocate for setting clear budgets and transparent communication to ensure both partners feel comfortable with discretionary spending.

5. Not Telling Daughter About Her Education Fund

Timestamp: [07:50]

Grandparents set up separate college funds for a couple’s daughter and stepson, assuming both would pursue graduate studies. The daughter opts to work immediately after college, leading to her discovery and upset over the existence of her education fund.

Rachel Cruze: "Lack of communication."

George Kamel: "Assume makes a jerk out of you and me."

Analysis: Rachel and George highlight the critical nature of open communication regarding finances, especially in family settings. They suggest parents should inform their children about savings plans regardless of intended future educational paths to prevent misunderstandings and resentment.

6. Not Using Christmas Money from In-Laws as Specified

Timestamp: [17:43]

A couple receives annual checks from the husband's parents intended for buying gifts. This year, the wife wants to use the funds for a ski trip instead, despite past pressures to spend the money as originally intended.

Rachel Cruze: "That's a weird one...they should communicate with the in-laws."

George Kamel: "Have a conversation...set boundaries."

Analysis: The duo advises the couple to have an honest discussion with the in-laws about their intentions. They stress the importance of boundaries and suggest that gifts given with expectations can lead to future resentment, recommending that the couple decide collaboratively how best to use the money for their family's benefit.

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Key Takeaways and Insights

Timestamp: [25:53] - [27:14]

Rachel Cruze and George Kamel distill the episode's discussions into actionable advice:

1. Effective Communication: Many of the dilemmas stem from unspoken assumptions and lack of clarity. It's essential to articulate expectations and boundaries clearly to avoid misunderstandings.

2. Transparent Financial Practices: Being upfront about financial situations, including savings, expenditures, and financial assistance to family members, builds trust within relationships.

3. Budgeting Together: Establishing and adhering to a joint budget ensures that both partners are aware of and agree on discretionary spending, preventing potential conflicts.

4. Seek Third-Party Guidance: When disagreements persist, involving a counselor or financial advisor can provide neutral insights and help mediate solutions.

5. Emotional Intelligence in Financial Decisions: Recognizing and managing emotions related to money can lead to more rational and mutually beneficial financial choices.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Rachel Cruze and George Kamel adeptly navigate through various complex financial and relational scenarios presented by Reddit users. Their thoughtful analysis underscores the importance of communication, trust, and mutual respect in managing money within personal relationships. By addressing these "Am I the Jerk?" dilemmas, they provide listeners with valuable lessons on fostering healthy financial habits and strong partnerships.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Rachel Cruze: "These conversations saying...probably some big inheritance or trust...Am I the problem? No, he's not the problem at all." [04:07]

• George Kamel: "I do think his ego got in the way...but I don't think he's a jerk for doing that." [04:35]

• Rachel Cruze: "Is she the problem? No." [12:43]

• George Kamel: "If he cheats...keep the ring and sell it...It's a gift." [12:52]

• Rachel Cruze: "You are not the problem. But you cross the line...spending money in secret." [24:22]

• George Kamel: "This feels like financial infidelity...not trustworthy." [24:26]

• Rachel Cruze: "Lack of communication." [22:07]

• George Kamel: "Assume makes a jerk out of you and me." [22:13]

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing a clear and insightful overview of the discussions between Rachel Cruze and George Kamel. Whether you're seeking financial advice or relationship guidance, this episode offers valuable perspectives to help navigate the complexities of money and partnerships.

Transcript

[Rachel Cruz]

Today we're answering the Internet's most asked money question. Am I the problem? Your language, though, scares me of. He is literally spending my money in secret.

[George Camel]

Wow, that's pretty terrible. Do you think my most like. Winston's like, babe, it's okay. It's like, hey, guys, I'm Rachel Cruz. I'm George Camel and this is Smart Money Happy Hour. This is the show where two friends who happy money experts talk about what you're talking about. Everything from pop culture, current events and money.

[Rachel Cruz]

And we will get to that. But first, we're sipping on a classic gimlet cocktail.

[George Camel]

A gimlet is one of my favorites.

[Rachel Cruz]

My go to hard to beat. We're going to give you the rating and reveal the cost per glass at the end of the episode. So stick around for that. All right. I know this probably isn't a key part of your algorithm. I feel like yours is mostly true crime and Real Housewives at this point. Am I close?

[George Camel]

Actually, well done, George. Well done.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm on. But there's this other trend on social media where people are asking, am I the jerk? So they're laying out their situation going, am I the problem here? Am I the jerk? Am I in the wrong? And it actually starts with an A word that's much harsher than jerk. But this is a family show.

[George Camel]

Oh, yes. We're interchanging the trendy word.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I know we got a lot of kids.

[George Camel]

A family friendly show. Yes. And we are parents, so we appreciate.

[Rachel Cruz]

My daughter watches this show.

[George Camel]

But you've had a few slip ups, George, about maybe you being a jerk. I don't know. I heard one recently on the Ramsey show. Something about a moose.

[Rachel Cruz]

There was a moose.

[George Camel]

What? Tell me about the moose.

[Rachel Cruz]

There was a guy in Alaska, this guy, maybe young, 20s, hit a moose with his car, totaled it.

[George Camel]

Oh, no.

[Rachel Cruz]

Got an insurance check for $10,000.

[George Camel]

Great.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, the car was $6,000. And it was not paid for by him. It was paid for by his father in law.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

So now he gets this check. And the father in law is like, sweet, I'll take the check. I'm the one who bought the car.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

But the car is in the kid's name. Oh, but he didn't pay for the car. The father in law was just like, hey, I'll pay for the car. You get to drive it. So what does he do with this insurance check? Is it technically his because it's his car, his insurance? Or does he have to give the father in law some or all of.

[George Camel]

This you have to get a father in law.

[Rachel Cruz]

Some sort of. This was a weird situation where he was like, am I the jerk for not wanting to give my father in law this check? So I said, hey, I give their father in law what he paid into the car and no more. Yeah, be done with it.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that's fair. I think that's good.

[Rachel Cruz]

Just not sever the relationship.

[George Camel]

But he's asking, am I being a jerk for thinking about that? Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

And so there's a lot of situations like that out there.

[George Camel]

Yeah. And there's a lot of, you know, a lot of situations that people are very self aware because they're asking like, gosh, am I the bad one?

[Rachel Cruz]

You know, it tells me you're at least a little bit self aware.

[George Camel]

Yeah. You know, or maybe they're trying to throw out their situation to find a little sympathy out there on the Internet or an affirmation. We don't know. Yeah, like I don't know, what do you need? Cause life can be sticky out there, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's true.

[George Camel]

Tricky and sticky.

[Rachel Cruz]

So we agreed to bravely go to the front lines of the Internet. Some would say the basement, the cesspool of the Internet called Reddit.

[George Camel]

You know what? I got on Reddit for the first time, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

How was that for you?

[George Camel]

It was a little confusing. It kept wanting me to download the app.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, that's what they're pushing me to.

[George Camel]

Stay in Safari. That's why I just kept clicking. Just stay in the safari.

[Rachel Cruz]

Rachel's not downloading your app. Don't even dare.

[George Camel]

No, no.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, well, there's a whole. There's a whole subreddit where people share these stories, and so people are trying to figure out if it's them. Okay, so I'm me. I'm the problem. It's me.

[George Camel]

We're going to read out some problems and let's see if this person's the jerk. Are you ready?

[Rachel Cruz]

And I want the audience to be thinking too, and see who they agree with. Is it Rachel? Is it me? Is it both?

[George Camel]

Yeah, we'll see. Okay, so this one says, telling my wife's friends, I make more money than her. So my wife comes from family money. I do not. Her friends and family joke that I'm a gold digger, but I work in investment banking. I pull my own weight. And at a party recently, her friend mentioned the fact that I don't come from money, and I shut it down saying, yeah, don't, but I definitely make more than she does right now. Am I the problem?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, boy, this whole friend group feels toxic to me.

[George Camel]

Savvy. The friend group's the jerk who's having.

[Rachel Cruz]

These conversations saying this. Okay, so they're saying he's a gold digger because she comes from money, therefore there's probably some big inheritance or trust.

[George Camel]

I have my thoughts.

[Rachel Cruz]

And he's saying, am I the problem? No, he's not the problem at all.

[George Camel]

I think they're the jerk. But I do think his ego got in the way. Ooh. The fact that he has to prove it. The ego is big. The ego drives a lot of our decisions and thoughts in life.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I guess you're right. But I definitely make more than she does now.

[George Camel]

Hold on. Don't say that tone. Stop it. No, he could have been like, well, I guess you're right. But, you know, I make more than she does now. Like, I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

He's trying to defend himself.

[George Camel]

I know, but your tone. You can't say a tone with a quote. You have no clue.

[Rachel Cruz]

I can do what I want. I'm a grown man.

[George Camel]

So, no, I think they're the jerk of even bringing that. Like, that's so mean.

[Rachel Cruz]

But he sort of took the bait.

[George Camel]

He took the bait, and I think his ego got involved. But I do feel like he felt like he had to prove his own self, which is the ego. But I don't think he's a jerk for doing that.

[Rachel Cruz]

But would Winston Cruz be caught dead saying that sentence in front of your friends?

[George Camel]

I make more than she does.

[Rachel Cruz]

So, like, oh, Rachel, you know, Dave Ramsey comes from money. So therefore.

[George Camel]

And he goes, no, But I think Winston would be like, well, I'm doing pretty good. I'm still doing pretty good myself. Like, I don't think he would say, I'm doing better than her. I don't think he would put us in a comparative statement. And I'm not saying he would even say that. But if he went into that lane at all, it would just be like, I have worth. Like, I bring things to the marketplace and make great money too. You know? Like, it would be more of that.

[Rachel Cruz]

More. Matter of fact, I don't think he.

[George Camel]

Would ever say I make more than her, because we've had seasons of flip flop. Like, there's been years where he makes more than I do. Some years I make more. It totally depends on work stuff. So I don't. But I don't. Yeah, I don't think he'd say that.

[Rachel Cruz]

I agree.

[George Camel]

What about Whitney? Do you think he's being the jerk? I feel like I'm more on his team than you are.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I don't think he's being the jerk, but I do think, like, he sort of got in the mud a little bit too much. I would have just been like, you know what? It really doesn't matter. Like, we're. This is. We're in a marriage. This is a partnership. We're doing this thing together. And who makes more is irrelevant.

[George Camel]

Yep.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's good, but I probably just wouldn't get into it.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Rachel Cruz]

Especially with my wife's friends. I don't know. That feels like a weird thing. But, you know, here's the issue, and.

[George Camel]

That'S even a funny thing. My wife's friends. I feel like all of Winston's friends are my friends. I feel like my friends are his friends.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, I don't know. Anyways, but here's the problem with this whole conversation. They think if there's a bread winner, there's gotta be a bread loser.

[George Camel]

Wow.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't think that. I think that's an insane take.

[George Camel]

George, what a quote.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't do bumper stickers. I think it's stupid to put bumper stickers on cars. Put that on a bumper sticker. How do you buy something for $40,000 and you're like, I'm putting a sticker on it? That's insane. I'm sorry. It's a crazy thing to do. I don't put a sticker on my laptop, let alone a vehicle.

[George Camel]

No, it's so true, though. It's a great point.

[Rachel Cruz]

Anyway, neither here nor there. But here's the other thing. My wife stays at home now. It'd be so dumb. I make more than. This is an insane thing to compare.

[George Camel]

That's a different comparison, though. A stay at home parent, that feels different.

[Rachel Cruz]

What if she came from money and they go, well, you married her for.

[George Camel]

Her money when she was working at Ramsey? I think that's a different conversation. But if she's home, everyone knows she's not, like, making an actual monetary income.

[Rachel Cruz]

I just think we put too much emphasis on income, is what I'm saying.

[George Camel]

Oh, I do. Me.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, me too, as a society.

[George Camel]

I agree, George. I agree. All right. That was a good one. That was a good one.

[Rachel Cruz]

You got heated already? We're off to a great start. There are no winners in this game, only losers.

[George Camel]

You go to the next one. Read the next one.

[Rachel Cruz]

Here's one. Not telling my mom. I married into money, grew up with a single mom who's always battled addiction, now married to a man with family money. We've been caring for her two year old daughter, my half sister, and she's now realizing we have financial means. My husband says he's happy to start sending my mom money, but I think it's a boundary we should draw. Am I the problem?

[George Camel]

No, that's a hard. I mean, it's hard like that's. We kind of talk about family boundaries and stuff a lot and we kind of say it in like a quick way, but I mean that it's very difficult. Right. I'm like, it would be very hard if your mom was battling addiction and in it. But yet she can't support herself. Right. I mean like that's. That, that it's your mom, you know, but yet you don't want to continue to fuel something that's harming her.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, it's enabling.

[George Camel]

But yet you want to. You do want to like. Are you gonna like really leave your mom on the street though? You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. It's hard. That's a. It's hard.

[Rachel Cruz]

My thing is if you're going to.

[George Camel]

But I think she's. I think she's okay. I do not think she's the jerk. I think there's a lot of protection there because I do think once you marry, your immediate family has a level of priority. Right. So protecting your husband and if they have kids, like protecting that unit is really important.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

So no, I don't think she's the jerk.

[Rachel Cruz]

Here's what I would say. Instead of like the blanket send my mom money, let's figure out what we can actually support her with and directly put the money towards that thing like.

[George Camel]

Pay the rent if you need to or.

[Rachel Cruz]

And make it a gift. It's never a loan. And just say, hey, we want to cover your rent for the next three months or cover the groceries or we're going to pay for your rehab.

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's a very specific thing. Versus just pouring money onto a problem, right?

[George Camel]

Yes. 100%. Yep.

[Rachel Cruz]

But no, she's not the problem.

[George Camel]

No, I don't think.

[Rachel Cruz]

Glad we can free you from that. Wow.

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Good to do that.

[George Camel]

Okay, next one. Not taking Internet safety seriously. Am I the problem?

[Rachel Cruz]

Absolutely.

[George Camel]

If you're not taking Internet safety seriously, you're the problem, I think.

[Rachel Cruz]

Identity theft. Why are you the prime, Jim?

[George Camel]

Unbelievable. So that's why you need delete me.

[Rachel Cruz]

Absolutely. So delete me as a service that will find or remove your info from all these data broker sites that are out there. If you ever googled yourself and they're like, how do they know my address and my name and my phone number? It's because they sold it to data broker sites who are then going to sell it for a profit and it leaves you at risk of spam and scams. And so delete me does all the work for you. Saves you a ton of time. They send you a report showing you exactly what they've done. And it really does help me sleep better at night. I love getting my report.

[George Camel]

Yeah, it feels good. Feels like people are out there. It's like angels are out there watching you over the Internet.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's like I took a digital shower, you know?

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Feel cleaner.

[George Camel]

Definitely.

[Rachel Cruz]

George never thought about it like that, did you?

[George Camel]

No.

[Rachel Cruz]

He go check it out.

[George Camel]

But you can get 20% off an annual delete me plan, which comes out to around $9 a month. So click the link below and check it out.

[Rachel Cruz]

Join Delete me dot com. Smart money.

[George Camel]

All right, next is buying designer items. With my own money. I earn over $500,000 annually and my combined net worth with my husband. Well, she said hubby. Can I say husband instead?

[Rachel Cruz]

Please, I'm begging you.

[George Camel]

Thank you. Hubby and bride are the two that just really. I don't know why.

[Rachel Cruz]

My bride.

[George Camel]

If I support my bride. Yeah, my bride and my hubby. Anyways, it's $3 million. I enjoy buying designer things for myself with my high income. Go girl. He lives in worst case scenario and thinks that we should save every penny in case a recession comes or our kids need money. And I recently sold some stocks to buy a treat for myself, but I only spent 5% of my income. Am I the problem? Oh, okay. This is a, this is a, this is a marriage issue at this point because are you the problem for doing that? No. You have the money like 100%. Also, is he gonna fully get on board with every like somewhat luxury purchase you make? He may not. Cause he is a doomsday or worst case scenario guy and I think he needs to work on himself.

[Rachel Cruz]

I want to know, is there an emergency fund here? Like, what is this worst case scenario where he thinks and in case a recession comes, it's all going to come crashing down.

[George Camel]

Right? Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

So that's where if there was an emergency fund in place and they had no debt, that would make him feel better. I don't know their financial situation.

[George Camel]

And I guess if you're like literally living off stocks and the stock market like dipped down and you couldn't take as much out that you needed to, to live your Life. Like, you know, I don't. I don't know. I don't know what the situation is. But.

[Rachel Cruz]

But no, she's not the problem.

[George Camel]

No.

[Rachel Cruz]

And here's the thing. The percentage matters because, you know, her buying a designer purse is like someone else buying a biscuit. And so you gotta look at the ratios on this thing. Go. Okay. It's not too much of her world. Now, could they do a budget together and go, hey, here's how much of my fun money I'm gonna spend. That might be $3,000 a month for their income. I don't know. But that way he knows exactly what's coming out, the limits around it. So set some boundaries. And that's where the budget is really key.

[George Camel]

It's very helpful in that way, for sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay, next up. This one's juicy. Not returning an engagement ring to my ex fiance.

[George Camel]

Ooh. If he cheated, keep it. If not, I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Here we go. Well, the first word is a dead giveaway. I caught my ex of two years cheating a few months into our engagement. We immediately broke up, and I still have the ring. Planning on selling it to help pay back the wedding costs I already lost. He is demanding to have it back and is threatening legal action. Am I the problem?

[George Camel]

No, no. That's my caveat, though. If he cheats.

[Rachel Cruz]

No.

[George Camel]

Sorry. You were in a committed relationship and anything going forward, like, no. What? Mine is mine and yours is yours. We. We cut it off right here. And you gave it to me. This was a gift.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is she not the owner of Said.

[George Camel]

Now, if she calls off the wedding, if they mutually decide together, like, oh, that's probably it. And gosh, I saw something recently. Oh, love is blind. They got called off last minute. I was like, what was that? Love is blind. Yeah. And if they both mutually decide to go separate ways, I'd give the ring back. Or if I called it off, you give the ring back. But if he gets caught cheating.

[Rachel Cruz]

So this is. You're like, this. This is fine to be petty because he cheated and keep the ring and sell it. That's all it is, petty. I'm just saying.

[George Camel]

What do you think?

[Rachel Cruz]

I think she has every right to do what she wants with the ring.

[George Camel]

Do you think she's the jerk for keeping it?

[Rachel Cruz]

No.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

No. And here's the thing. If she's planning on selling it to help pay back wedding costs that she's lost, there's also a reason there. It's not out of pettiness. It's like, hey, we've sunk some money into this thing. I'm trying to get some of it back. Now who knows what it is?

[George Camel]

I don't like that you're using the word petty.

[Rachel Cruz]

I just wanted to rile you up and it worked. All right. That's my job around here.

[George Camel]

Oh, man.

[Rachel Cruz]

But no. Is she the problem? No. Now the legal action. I want to know, does he have a legal standing to sue to get the ring? I don't think so.

[George Camel]

I don't think you can like just ask for it, demand it come back to you. I don't think you can do that.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't think it's his asset to then retreat.

[George Camel]

I think it's her ring at this point.

[Rachel Cruz]

Not a lawyer. But hey, lawyers, jump in the comments.

[George Camel]

Let us know what you think. Your legal advice.

[Rachel Cruz]

A lot of lawyers watch this show and also leave YouTube comments. That's.

[George Camel]

They do.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I'm just saying they're probably busy doing lawyer stuff. I don't know. But that's a dark fighting case.

[George Camel]

Like that is sad. I'm so sorry about that.

[Rachel Cruz]

But honestly, you get what you deserve. Ex fiance. Oh man, what a dingus. Who goes, hey, I commit my life to you and also about to go cheat on you a few times.

[George Camel]

I know that's an absurd thing because yeah, he has some issues. Okay. Only giving Vegas money to my biological child. Wait, what? Okay, here we go. My husband and I have a 5 year old daughter together, plus his 10 year old daughter. I won money on a bachelorette trip in Las Vegas. It was in the premarital asset. So I paid off debts and put the rest in a Trust for our 5 year old. When he found out that I didn't put any aside for her as older daughter, he got angry. He is still not speaking to me. Am I the problem?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, boy.

[George Camel]

Jeez. Yeah, I think you are paying off the debt put you have at this point. I think moving forward, if it was money that she had pre marriage, like I'm thinking like a piece of land or something that she had pre marriage and this land was supposed to go to like her biological daughter. I'm kind of flipping roles here because like it came from her dad or something. Generationally.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[George Camel]

And then you get remarried and then you get married to someone else and they have kids. I don't think that land should go to those kids. Does that make sense? Or the profits of that go to those other kids. Cause it was already there before the marriage. But anything after the marriage, you're kind of building a life together and if you are still like, if you guys are raising kids together. I don't know. There's a part of me that like. Yeah. I feel like moving forward. What we make and what we have is gonna be for all the kids. Right. I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

So in this case you're saying stepparents.

[Rachel Cruz]

She's not the problem because this was a premarital ass.

[George Camel]

No, I think she is the problem because it's not a premarital.

[Rachel Cruz]

She said it was. You said it was a premarital asset.

[George Camel]

Oh gosh. She did say that. So I paid. Oh. On my bachelorette trip to Vegas.

[Rachel Cruz]

So right before the wedding. Right. She wins all this money.

[George Camel]

Okay. Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

So she.

[George Camel]

I guess technically it is a premarital. But like what, like a few months before.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. I go. I'm halfway on this.

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

I think he might be a little bit over the top that he's not talking to her. Yeah.

[George Camel]

Silent treatment. Boo.

[Rachel Cruz]

Like, first of all, your. Your 10 year old daughter is going to be fine. If you guys get on the same page.

[George Camel]

10 year old dude. And giving her the silent treatment.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. Now the question is, how much stock do you put into your biological daughter versus now? It's our daughter. But it's not from my marriage. And that part feels weird. Personally, I would say I'm in this family now. These are. This is my child. Just as much.

[George Camel]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

From a financial legacy standpoint. I know that might be my hot take. I don't know.

[George Camel]

That's tough though. Yeah. I think this is a more marriage communication issue. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Cause I don't think the money actually like. Whatever. You'll build wealth together. Your 10 year old daughter's gonna be fine. This was not like a life changing. The five year old's gonna have a better life than the ten year old.

[George Camel]

Right, Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

They're so young.

[George Camel]

Yeah, totally.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not like one got a free house and the other one didn't.

[George Camel]

Right. That's right. Yep. I appreciate that. Okay, next. Not using Christmas money from in laws the way they spend specified. Oh my gosh. Here, you read this one. Sorry.

[Rachel Cruz]

This is the situation. Husband's parents send a check every year so our kids can buy gifts for each other. And my husband and I get a treat too. This year we want to use it toward a ski trip. But they've been weird in the past about not spending the money exactly how they wanted us to. Should we do it and not tell them? I want to be honest about it, but I Have a feeling they'll be mad. Am I the problem?

[George Camel]

No, I don't think you're the problem. I think the in laws are the problem. Gifts with strings attached or expectations kind of give me like the.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, that's.

[George Camel]

You know what I mean?

[Rachel Cruz]

That's a weird one. So they send a check saying, you have to use this on the gifts that we want you, and you have.

[George Camel]

To tell them what you're using it on. That's weird too, right? Like, if you're going to give the money, give the money and let the family figure out.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. If they're sending a check, they're sending money. What they. They don't have control over that money at that point. So if you want to just buy gifts, send the parents links to Amazon or whatever, and they can buy the gifts and send them. But if you send money, it's my business what I do with that money.

[George Camel]

I agree. I'm with you. Adult to adult. So, nope, I don't think you're the problem.

[Rachel Cruz]

But I do think they should communicate with the in laws and say, hey, listen.

[George Camel]

You do.

[Rachel Cruz]

I think it's worth a conversation because what's going to happen is resentment with the in laws over this stupid situation. Instead, go, hey, listen, we have lots of stuff. We love stuff. Thank you for the stuff. We'd love to do an experience this year because we think it's gonna create a great memory and we're letting you know it's not permission.

[George Camel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Letting you know.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Just a happy.

[Rachel Cruz]

And if they never send a check again, we learned.

[George Camel]

Yes. And better for it. Right?

[Rachel Cruz]

And better for it.

[George Camel]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Budget for it. And so you can take your own kids on the.

[George Camel]

Yeah. So no, you are not the problem. I don't think you are.

[Rachel Cruz]

But also, can you just save up and go on a ski trip and buy some gifts? Sure. You could avoid all this with a budget pretty easily.

[George Camel]

Yeah, for sure. Yep. You know what else you can save up and pay for? Cozy earth products?

[Rachel Cruz]

100%.

[George Camel]

Unbelievable.

[Rachel Cruz]

Put that in the budget.

[George Camel]

Take that on the ski trip.

[Rachel Cruz]

We're talking bedding.

[George Camel]

Wonderful.

[Rachel Cruz]

Talking athleisure for the guys and the gals.

[George Camel]

Yes. Which includes socks, joggers, My favorite. Blankets, blankets, sheets, ropes.

[Rachel Cruz]

Just gonna keep naming things.

[George Camel]

I know because I keep adding to my wardrobe of Cozy Earth stuff because it is. The quality is amazing. It's amazing. Like, if you're to the point that you're like, listen, I'm gonna now invest in quality things. Cozy Earth. It's the Place to be. It is, it's like the most softest, most wonderful stuff ever. And I use, I literally use a coziest product. I use two a day sheets. Guarantee it. And robe.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sheets and robe. I mean what else does a woman need?

[George Camel]

I know, I know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, hey, go check it out. They're giving our listeners a sweet discount up to 40% off if you go to cozyearth.com smartmoney and use promo code smart money at checkout. We'll put a link in the description as well.

[George Camel]

All right, next up, not telling our daughter about her education fund. Okay, here's the situation. Grandparents set up a college fund for our daughter and son. We assumed they'd both go to grad school so we told them to use scholarships for college and plan to help them with their higher ed degrees later. My daughter went to school on scholarship and started working immediately after. So we never told her about her college fund. My son chose to do grad school so we gave him his portion and our daughter asked where the money came from. She's upset that she never knew this money existed just because she didn't go to grad school are be the problem.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, lack of communication.

[George Camel]

Wow, that's pretty terrible. Do you think that's so interesting to me? Like you. Yeah. You have the money to pay for your kids college. I'm all about the scholarships and grants. Like regardless of if you have the money or not, go ahead.

[Rachel Cruz]

And people don't know you can pull money out of the college account against those scholarships and grants. So if you get $20,000 scholarship, you can take 20,000 out as cash from that college fund.

[George Camel]

Okay, there you go.

[Rachel Cruz]

So there's a cool little life hack for you. It's not like well that was a waste to save up because we couldn't even use it. You can withdraw against those, which is great.

[George Camel]

So that, and then if the daughter's like oh my gosh, I'm going to try to go debt free so I have to go get a job and like work really hard. When money was just sitting there in the education fund for education and it's not being used for education, it's just sitting there. And then she doesn't go to grad school. Then that 529 money, I mean, do you know what I mean?

[Rachel Cruz]

Like yeah, well, and I think that's like here's the key words to tell me. This was a flub on the parents part. We assumed they'd both go to grad school.

[George Camel]

You know what they say about assume makes A jerk out of you and me.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, you are the problem. Communicate. And also, where's this assumption that both kids are gonna go to grad? Like, it's just weird to go, well, they're probably both gonna end up getting master's degrees.

[George Camel]

Isn't it funny? My assumption is my kids won't.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, 100%.

[George Camel]

I don't even think about that.

[Rachel Cruz]

Neither of us had master's degrees.

[George Camel]

Nope. And look at us now, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

Look at us now.

[George Camel]

Just giving the Internet advice.

[Rachel Cruz]

Living the dream as YouTubers. Dream big, kids.

[George Camel]

Just some YouTubers over here.

[Rachel Cruz]

So here's my take. Communicate everything with your kids as they get older. Say, hey, here's the situation.

[George Camel]

If you have the blessing to give money to that one of the most expensive areas of your life, which is college, like, do it right. Embrace it all. Give it all. Like, I don't know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Here's my thing. Would she have gone to grad school just because the money was there and just get a masters for fun? That feels like a waste. Yeah, but that's. That's not. That's not part of this. It just feels like a sort of a secondary thing.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that's true. That's good. I don't know. Yeah, that would be. And then. And then I would be pissed if my brother got money to go to. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? It just feels so, like. Yeah, I don't like it. Sorry. Sorry. Parents, you are the problem.

[Rachel Cruz]

All right, here's the next one. Separating finances from husband because he won't stop giving his parents money. In the last few months, I've noticed $1,700 missing from our savings. Husband has been giving his parents money, which we agreed not to do anymore because they never pay us back. That's in parentheses. Very important tidbit. Yeah, he didn't tell me. And he's not even working right now due to an accident. He is literally spending my money in secret. Am I the problem? All you guys have is problems, man. Both of you are the problem, and.

[George Camel]

His parents are the problem.

[Rachel Cruz]

So he's the problem because you guys agreed not to do this anymore.

[George Camel]

Yes. And he's, like, taking money and. Yeah. No. But then. Yes.

[Rachel Cruz]

Your language, though, scares me of. He is literally spending my money in secret. You're also the problem. I don't like that language.

[George Camel]

Okay. All righty. George.

[Rachel Cruz]

Spending my money in secret. I would never say that in my marriage. So, no, I think largely our money.

[George Camel]

Is not going to what we agreed upon.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[George Camel]

Is what's happening well.

[Rachel Cruz]

And you cross the line.

[George Camel]

And I'll say this too. Go ahead and separating. It's only been one month is what it says. So it's not necessarily a pattern that I'm aware of. If she looked up and she's like, he's been doing this for a year, red flag for sure. Immediately. He did it for a month is what it said. He's probably scared of her a little bit is what it says.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm a little scared of her. But yeah, I don't think this is like, we need to separate finances.

[George Camel]

Not right away. Unless you guys can't come to it. I mean, like, if you can't come to agreement, that means you can't come to agreement on him spending money and not telling you, which is weird. That's, that's not.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's a financial infidelity situation.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Like, that's our. That feels very not trustworthy. I don't like that. Yeah, the secret stuff. Not good. That will rot away a relationship. Real quick.

[Rachel Cruz]

We need to come to Jesus conversation.

[George Camel]

Yes. And I would do that before I make any like rash decisions really quickly because a lot of this is very emotional based, which I understand. But until we can get like as two adults talking in agreement and if you start realize, oh my gosh, I still can't trust him because he's not fully on agree or whatever, then like, all right, we need to start like having some more serious discussions about our life and our money.

[Rachel Cruz]

And another part was they gave their parents, his parents a loan because they said because they never pay us back.

[George Camel]

That's right. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Never give money with this expectation, hey, this is a loan. You're going to owe me. It destroys the relationship. It sounds like it wasn't great to begin with.

[George Camel]

Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not going to get any better at this point. She's going to be resentful of the in laws forever.

[George Camel]

Yep. Oh, man, George, this was a lot.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh God, I'm exhausted.

[George Camel]

Okay, so some of our big takeaways let people come to you with money questions instead of offering unsolicited advice. Right. Then we're not going to just like tell everyone what we're thinking. Yeah. If people need your opinion, they're going to come to you. But people are going to Reddit for their opinions, so that's frightening.

[Rachel Cruz]

Here's one. What's the line? And uncommunicated expectation is a thought. Is it something like that? Does that sound right? So it's just like if you have an expectation, communicate it. Don't ever say, well, we assumed or I thought we had talked.

[George Camel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Make it clear.

[George Camel]

Yes. Say it out loud.

[Rachel Cruz]

Most of these problems happen because people didn't communicate up front. They didn't set a boundary, they didn't explain the expectation, and then things went awry and they're all shocked.

[George Camel]

Yep, Totally.

[Rachel Cruz]

I can't believe they're upset.

[George Camel]

Yes. Yep. So always be transparent. Talk about it. Talk about your wants, your needs, thoughts and feelings around money. All of it. Because, again, I think what you're saying is a lot of this stuff ends up being a situation because it's just not said out loud. Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

So, yes. And the other thing is bring in a third party. If you can't come to a resolution, that could be a counselor. That could be couples therapy. Whatever it is, it's worth it to not just have the two people going at each other, going, well, I'm right and you're wrong, and I'm wrong and you're right. That's not going to get you anywhere.

[George Camel]

That's right. Yep. So good, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, thanks for sharing, everyone on the Internet.

[George Camel]

Trust your gut, too. Your first reaction of am I a jerk? Is usually probably right, too.

[Rachel Cruz]

Would you ever post in my subreddit like that?

[George Camel]

I don't know how.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, that's true. And even if you could. No, I don't think it's.

[George Camel]

I would not put my situation on.

[Rachel Cruz]

I think I would. I would have enough friends and counsel in my life to not go to the Internet and ask for their opinions.

[George Camel]

Hey, some people don't. The loneliness epidemic is large today, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

So count yourself lucky that I have real friends.

[George Camel]

That you have friends.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you. I would call Rachel before I went to a subreddit.

[George Camel]

Oh, thank you, George. I appreciate that.

[Rachel Cruz]

Or maybe Winston. Probably Winston first. And then if I didn't like his answer, I'd go to Rachel.

[George Camel]

I get riled up for you, George.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you.

[George Camel]

You know me.

[Rachel Cruz]

Be on Team George.

[George Camel]

Okay, so before we spill the tea on our guilty as charged, let's talk about our drinks.

[Rachel Cruz]

This is a classic gimlet. You're closer to finishing. I just didn't have enough time. I was too enthralled in the stories. This is a 10 out of 10 drink for me, too, George.

[George Camel]

It's, like, one of my favorites. And I usually don't do gin. I usually do vodka. I asked for a vodka gimlet, which is not traditional, but the gin's good. The gin has, like a.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's got the botanicals.

[George Camel]

Botanicals, yes. Wow. Great. Word.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you.

[George Camel]

Flowers. Flowery. Is that what that means? Floral.

[Rachel Cruz]

Floral elements in the gin.

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is when they distill it. Juniper. I believe it's juniper. Final answer. If this was who Wants to Be a Millionaire? So here's what's in this drink. Gin, lime juice, simple syrup.

[George Camel]

Very easy.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's all you need, you know, A little sweet, a little acid, and then you need your liquor, and it comes out to $2.94. That feels high for this drink, for what's in it. But I guess we use some high quality ingredients.

[George Camel]

Very nice.

[Rachel Cruz]

To probably make it cheaper at home. Get the recipe in the show notes, give it a try this weekend. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how good it is.

[George Camel]

Well, now it's time for guilty as charged. And this is where we ask each other a question every week. And if we're guilty, we take a sip.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, boy. You want me to read this one?

[George Camel]

Yeah, you read it.

[Rachel Cruz]

What's the last thing you overreacted about? And after cooling off, you realized you might be the problem?

[George Camel]

Oh, man, this is funny.

[Rachel Cruz]

I feel like we need to phone a friend for this one and call our spouses and say hello.

[George Camel]

My, my, my. Most like, Winston's like, babe, it's okay. It's like, where's Charles?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, wow.

[George Camel]

The girls are usually around, but, like, we were at the beach and, like, water gets me. I'm very like, oh, yeah, Where's Charles? And he's like, it's okay. It's okay. I'm like, did you. Did you? Did you. Did you. You know, he's like, yes, yes. So I'm a little on the anxious side sometimes.

[Rachel Cruz]

Just with Charles.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Cause my girls are pretty independent. I trust them. I don't know why.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, you also told Charles he was fine when he had broken his leg, so maybe you're making up for.

[George Camel]

For lawsuit.

[Rachel Cruz]

A previous lack of parenting.

[George Camel]

That's true.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's true. With over parenting now.

[George Camel]

Yeah, let me think. Yeah. That I wrote. Yeah. I can overreact to that kind of stuff. I know. Child safety feels like a heroic overreaction.

[Rachel Cruz]

I love that. Yeah, I love that your situation involves you being the hero.

[George Camel]

So good. Like, such a good mom.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm such a good mom that sometimes.

[George Camel]

Sometimes I look for my child in public.

[Rachel Cruz]

I really want to call Whitney right now and ask her, because I feel like she'll have.

[George Camel]

Do it.

[Rachel Cruz]

Five answers.

[George Camel]

Do you think if I called Winston, can I do it?

[Rachel Cruz]

You'd answer 100%.

[George Camel]

This is fun.

[Rachel Cruz]

Winston's at your Beck and call. He's probably been waiting with bated breath for your call.

[George Camel]

Winston calls me. Hi, babe.

[Rachel Cruz]

Put him on speaker.

[George Camel]

Okay. You are on speaker right now. Just fair.

[C]

Oh, okay. I'm glad I didn't say what I usually say when you call.

[George Camel]

Okay. Oh, my gosh. Is there been a situation where I have overreacted recently and it was my problem.

[C]

That's never happened. I mean, traveling with you is the worst experience from a reaction standpoint. Like airports. Airports. And. I mean, I was in the bathroom and you texted me 20 minutes before. People were lining up, but nobody was lining up after I got out of the bathroom.

[George Camel]

Perfect.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's it.

[George Camel]

That's the example.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's it.

[George Camel]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not my problem.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

You actually created a problem for me. And actually.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that was it. Yep. That's it. That's the example I needed. Perfect.

[C]

Traveling's the worst.

[George Camel]

Okay. Oh, man. Thanks, babe.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thanks, Winston. Love you.

[George Camel]

Love you. Love you.

[Rachel Cruz]

I said it first.

[George Camel]

Bye. That's right, I did. I lied. I texted him and I lied. I forgot about that. They called. I'm used to Southwest. Okay. We always fly Southwest. We fly. We flew United this last week, and they were like. And we're boarding group three, which is actually really good. So they start lining up group one. I was like, holy crap, we're gonna. We're gonna miss. And we're not gonna get the overhead space because we packed all carry ons, so you gotta get the overhead space. And I'm like, where is he? Where is he? And they're like, boarding group one. And I was like. I'm like, we're boarding. We are boarding.

[Rachel Cruz]

Like, we basically missed a flight. It's over.

[George Camel]

And he came out and he's like, panthers on one. I was like, I know, but we're about to.

[Rachel Cruz]

In my defense, they could have moved at lightning speed and been on group three already.

[George Camel]

One could have really hurried up and group two, then we were group three. So, yeah, there it is.

[Rachel Cruz]

God bless it.

[George Camel]

I overreacted with our boarding process, and that was my.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you. Thank you for being so vulnerable. So brave.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Rachel Cruz]

A great mom and a punctual border. We love that about you. I have never overreacted, so I have nothing to offer.

[George Camel]

You gotta. You gotta bring one for the next.

[Rachel Cruz]

No. All the time. Truthfully, though.

[George Camel]

All right, I'm guilty.

[Rachel Cruz]

In your head, though, you're like, no. That was a legitimate reaction at the time with the information I had.

[George Camel]

100%. Yeah. You've. Oh, yeah, we're not trying to be.

[Rachel Cruz]

I've never cooled off, so I didn't relate to after cooling off. I'm like, no, I've never. I'm still hot. I run hot.

[George Camel]

Run hot all the time. So good. Oh, man. Well, if you guys have some guilty charge questions, make sure to DM us, especially on Instagram. It's where we check the most. Probably. That's where I check the most. 100. So, yeah, DM us your ideas because we love this segment. It's always a good one. Always a good one. And if you enjoyed this episode, you'll definitely enjoy our episode on Things that Scream. I'm pretending to be upper class talking about more unfiltered financial truth there. So make sure to check that episode out and make sure to subscribe so you don't miss an all new episode of Smart Money Happy Hour.