172 - Star Trek Day (Mini Episode)

Summary

Podcast Summary: SmartLess Presents ClueLess

Episode 172 – Star Trek Day (Mini Episode)
Host: Elliott Kalan
Producer/co-host: Devin Tory Bryant
Date: September 8, 2025
Length: ~10 minutes

Overview

In this Star Trek Day-themed mini episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan invites listeners to nerd out over Star Trek anniversaries with a couple of clever puzzles and a nostalgic TV deep dive. The episode balances trivia challenges and lighthearted banter, all centered on the cultural legacy and quirky details of the Star Trek franchise.
Elliott is joined by producer Devin Tory Bryant, who keeps things playful as the two guide listeners through math, memory, and media history puzzles—making sure there’s plenty for Star Trek aficionados and puzzle lovers alike.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Star Trek Day Celebration

(01:28)

• Elliott opens with humor about the cultural status of Star Trek:

  “It's like Christmas, except instead of celebrating the birth of Christ, it's celebrating the birth of Star Trek. ... It's nice that all these regular people have left us something to feel like nerds about.”

• Marks September 8 as the anniversary of the first Star Trek episode.

2. Puzzle #1: The Deep Space Math Question

(01:52)

• Puzzle:
  • If Deep Space Nine (the phrase) has 13 letters, but "Deep Space" contains nine letters, what number would make the title’s total letters equal the number in that title?
• Engages listeners to solve before revealing the answer.

3. Elliot's Tales of Old Time TV Employment

(02:39)

• Elliott takes a detour into TV history, revealing a Star Trek connection with another show:

  • Riverboat (1959), starring Darren McGavin and Burt Reynolds, had a ship named “Enterprise,” just like Star Trek’s iconic vessel.
  • Gene Roddenberry was offered to write for “Riverboat” but declined because the producers wouldn’t let him write Black characters into the show.

• Contrast between “Riverboat” and “Star Trek,” pointing out the progressive themes Star Trek became famous for.

  “Now, I don't know about you, but to me that sounds an awful lot like Star Trek, aside from the whole, you know, outer space future aspect of it, which admittedly is kind of the main thing about Star Trek.” (Elliott Kalan, 02:55)

4. Puzzle #1 Answer

(03:48)

• The answer to the “Deep Space” puzzle: 16.
• Calculation: “Deep Space 16” has 16 letters.

  “If you said 16, you’re right. … but it would be much farther into Deep Space. I think nine is far enough.” (Elliott Kalan, 03:50)

5. Main Game: Star Trek “Sordum Consortium”

(04:25)

• Elliott introduces the main event:
  • Listeners are presented with six Star Trek show titles—one of which is fake.
  • The task: place them in chronological order, putting the fake at zero and ordering the rest from oldest to newest.
• Titles given:
  • Star Deep Space Nine
  • Star Lower Decks
  • Star The Next Generation
  • Star Explorer (the fake)
  • Star The Animated Series
  • Star The Original Series

6. Solution & Star Trek TV History

(07:30)

• After the sponsor break, Elliott gives the correct ordering with dates:

  1. Zero (Fake): Star Trek Explorer (“…actually a type of Ford SUV. You would not see one … floating through space. Probably.”)
  2. 1: Star Trek The Original Series (September 8, 1966)
  3. 2: Star Trek The Animated Series (September 8, 1973)
  4. 3: Star Trek The Next Generation (September 28, 1987)
  5. 4: Star Trek Deep Space Nine (January 4, 1993)
  6. 5: Star Trek Lower Decks (August 6, 2020)

• Elliott also jokes about how often he’s had to say “Star Trek” in the episode.

  “If not, then I'm sorry, you're going to have to repeat your senior year at Starfleet Academy.” (Elliott Kalan, 08:34)

• Closes with an upbeat message about making any day special:

  “Because you know what? A day doesn't need to be a holiday to be a special day. It could just be a day.” (Elliott Kalan, 09:09)

7. Banter & Pod Teasers

(09:12)

• Devin uses the moment to hint at upcoming Season 2, with Elliott giving another playful nudge.

  “Now would be a good time to remind our listeners that Clueless Season 2 will be showing up in their podcast feed later this year.” (Devin Tory Bryant, 09:12)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Elliott Kalan, Star Trek Day comparison:

  “It's like Christmas, except instead of celebrating the birth of Christ, it's celebrating the birth of Star Trek.” (01:31)

• On Star Trek’s nerd reputation:

  “It’s just nice that all these regular people have left us something to feel like nerds about.” (01:38)

• On fake Star Trek titles:

  “Explorer is not a real show. It's actually a type of Ford SUV. You would not see one of those floating through space. Probably.” (07:33)

• On failing the main game:

  “If not, then I'm sorry, you're going to have to repeat your senior year at Starfleet Academy.” (08:34)

• Elliott's finale:

  “A day doesn’t need to be a holiday to be a special day. It could just be a day.” (09:09)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:31 – Elliott begins the show with a humorous take on gravity and sets up Star Trek Day theme.
• 01:28 – Introduction to Star Trek Day and nerd culture talk.
• 01:52 – First puzzle: Deep Space Nine math.
• 02:39 – TV trivia detour: Riverboat’s strange link to Star Trek.
• 03:48 – Puzzle #1 answer and transition to main game.
• 04:25 – Main game explained: Sordum Consortium Star Trek edition.
• 07:30 – Answer to main game with historical context.
• 08:34 – Starfleet Academy joke for puzzle missers.
• 09:09 – Elliott’s closing reflection and send-off.
• 09:12–09:22 – Season 2 teaser and friendly banter.

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Overall Tone & Style

Light, playful, and engaging—Elliott’s pranks, TV history detours, and puns are balanced by friendly, fast-paced puzzle delivery. The episode is accessible to casual listeners while offering enough detail for die-hard Trekkies to enjoy.

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Perfect For:
Anyone wanting a quick, funny, and brain-teasing podcast with a dose of Star Trek nostalgia—and anyone who wants to measure up to the likes of Sean Hayes in puzzle prowess!

Transcript

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart Less Medium According to legend, Isaac Newton discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head. What people don't realize is that a man named Sven Jorgensen actually discovered gravity first when an anvil fell on his head. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to tell anybody for obvious reasons. This is Clueless. Clueless. Clueless. I'm Clueless. Welcome to Smartless presents Clueless, the only puzzle podcast that works through its vacations. I'm your host, Elliot Kaelin, and you do need to fight over me because there is not enough of me to go around. Producer Devin what's the plan for today's episode?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Or well, Elliot, today you'll be hosting another mini episode of Clueless, as we feverishly work away at booking new puzzles and creating new guests for Clueless Season 2.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you, producer Devin. It's my role on today's mini episode of Clueless. We're celebrating Star Trek Day, the anniversary of the first episode of Star Trek. It's like Christmas, except instead of celebrating the birth of Christ, it's celebrating the birth of Star Trek. When I was a kid, people assumed that anyone who liked Star Trek was a nerd. But in today's modern world of superhero movies and Star Wars TV shows, it's nice to know that Star Trek is still pretty nerdy. It's just nice that all these regular people have left us something to feel like nerds about. Let's start off the festivities with a math question. My college roommate's second favorite Star Trek series was Star Deep Space Nine. The phrase Deep space has nine letters. D, E, E, P, S, P, A, C, and E. But the phrase Deep Space Nine has 13 letters. If we wanted the number in the title of the show to be the same as the number of letters in the title with number, what number would have to come after deep space?

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Hey, Elliot, while the listeners figure out the answer to the puzzle, maybe you could tell them about a completely different TV show for a seemingly unrelated reason.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, I think I can do that. Producer Devin Star Trek's creator, Gene Roddenberry wasn't always the creator of Star Trek. Before that, he was a working TV writer who was offered a job on the 1959 series Riverboat, starring Darren McGavin and Burt Reynolds. Riverboat told the story of a riverboat, which makes sense, it's right there in the title. As that riverboat navigated the rivers of pre Civil War America. The main characters were a bold captain and his more taciturn second in command. And each episode saw them traveling to a new stretch of the river and getting into adventures with the locals. The name of the ship was the Enterprise. Now, I don't know about you, but to me that sounds an awful lot like Star Trek, aside from the whole, you know, outer space future aspect of it, which admittedly is kind of the main thing about Star Trek. Of course, Gene Roddenberry never actually worked on Riverboat, apparently because the producers would not let him write black characters into the show. Long story short, today we're celebrating Star Trek Day and not Riverboat Day. And that was an installment of our regular segment, Elliot's Tales of Old Time TV Employment.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

That's crazy that the ship was called the Enterprise on Riverboat. Let's do the answer to the puzzle.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Right you are, producer Devin. So let's move along to our even more regular segment. The answer to the question I asked you what number would have to follow Deep Space in order for the title to contain the same number of letters? If you said 16, you're right. Deep Space 16 would contain 16 letters, but it would be much farther into Deep space. I think nine is far enough. Did you get the answer? If so, then you're ready to boldly go where no man has gone before. This episode's main game and today's main game is a Star Trek edition of the Sordum Consortium.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Well, it's the Sorghum Sorghum Consortium.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Over the past six decades there have been a lot of Star Trek TV series. I'm going to give you six Star Trek titles and ask you to put them in chronological order from earliest to most recent. Though to make things slightly trickier, one of the titles, I'll tell you, is a fake. To remind you, in a sort of consortium, the answers go from zero to five. So put the fake Star Trek title at zero and then number the rest from one to five. And the Star Treks Star Deep Space Nine, Star Lower Decks, Star the Next Generation, Star Explorer, Star the Animated Series, Star the Original Series. I know it's hard to keep all those Star Treks straight in your head. So let's make it a little harder with a word from our sponsor. Finding a therapist online is hard enough, but finding one who actually takes your insurance, that's even harder. Ruala is a healthcare company that makes accessing affordable, high quality mental health care easier. They partner with over 100 insurance plans and match users with licensed in network therapists and psychiatrists nationwide based on their goals, preferences and background. No long wait lists, no frustrating back and forth, just personalized care that fits. Plus, Rula sticks with you throughout your journey, checking in to make sure your care is helping you move forward. Appointments are often available as soon as tomorrow, and with most patients paying just $15 per session, sometimes even less, it's care that actually fits your budget too. Thousands are already using Rula for therapy that's high quality, accessible and covered by Insurance. Visit rula.com clueless to get started. After signing up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Let them know this show sent you there. That's r u l a.com clueless because mental health care should work with you, not against your budget.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome back to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the only puzzle podcast that tests your knowledge of Star Trek and your patience. We're finally at the best part of any test, finding out the answers. Because the test is over. Here is the Correct order of those Star Trek titles. In the zero spot, we have Star Tre Explorer. Explorer is not a real show. It's actually a type of Ford suv. You would not see one of those floating through space. Probably. Number one would be Star Trek the Original Series, which debuted September 8, 1966. That's why September 8 is Star Trek Day. Number two would be Star Trek the Animated Series from September 8, 1973, continuing the September 8 tradition, which would be almost immediately broken in 1987 with number three, Star Trek the Next Generation, from September 28, 1987. The number four is Star Trek Deep Space Nine, January 4, 1993. And number five is Star Trek Lower Decks from August 6, 2020. And so that order again is zero. Star Trek Explorer 1, Star Trek the Original Series, 2, Star Trek the Animated Series 3, Star Trek the Next Generation, 4, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, and 5, Star Trek Lower decks. I have said the phrase Star Trek so many times in this episode. Did you get the order right? If not, then I'm sorry, you're going to have to repeat your senior year at Starfleet Academy. And unfortunately, it's time for us to beam you out of this episode. But while they set the coordinates so that you don't materialize inside a wall or a tree, I'd like to thank you for listening and wish you a happy September 8th. Because you know what? A day doesn't need to be a holiday to be a special day. It could just be a day.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

Yeah, I'm not sure what that means, but now would be a good time to remind our listeners that Clueless Season 2 will be showing up in their podcast feed later this year.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I think you just did, producer Devin.

[Devin Tory Bryant]

I think you're right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Until next week, this has been a Smartless presents Clueless mini. And I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, telling you to keep watching the skies. Hey, producer Devin. What now? While they're watching the skies, we can sneak away.

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[Devin Tory Bryant]

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless a Smartless Media Productions in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and myself. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Smart Glass.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

I knew.

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