Elliot Kaelin (2:39)

Yeah, I think I can do that. Producer Devin Star Trek's creator, Gene Roddenberry wasn't always the creator of Star Trek. Before that, he was a working TV writer who was offered a job on the 1959 series Riverboat, starring Darren McGavin and Burt Reynolds. Riverboat told the story of a riverboat, which makes sense, it's right there in the title. As that riverboat navigated the rivers of pre Civil War America. The main characters were a bold captain and his more taciturn second in command. And each episode saw them traveling to a new stretch of the river and getting into adventures with the locals. The name of the ship was the Enterprise. Now, I don't know about you, but to me that sounds an awful lot like Star Trek, aside from the whole, you know, outer space future aspect of it, which admittedly is kind of the main thing about Star Trek. Of course, Gene Roddenberry never actually worked on Riverboat, apparently because the producers would not let him write black characters into the show. Long story short, today we're celebrating Star Trek Day and not Riverboat Day. And that was an installment of our regular segment, Elliot's Tales of Old Time TV Employment.

Devin Tory Bryant (3:43)

That's crazy that the ship was called the Enterprise on Riverboat. Let's do the answer to the puzzle.

Elliot Kaelin (3:48)

Right you are, producer Devin. So let's move along to our even more regular segment. The answer to the question I asked you what number would have to follow Deep Space in order for the title to contain the same number of letters? If you said 16, you're right. Deep Space 16 would contain 16 letters, but it would be much farther into Deep space. I think nine is far enough. Did you get the answer? If so, then you're ready to boldly go where no man has gone before. This episode's main game and today's main game is a Star Trek edition of the Sordum Consortium.

Devin Tory Bryant (4:20)

Well, it's the Sorghum Sorghum Consortium.

Elliot Kaelin (4:25)

Over the past six decades there have been a lot of Star Trek TV series. I'm going to give you six Star Trek titles and ask you to put them in chronological order from earliest to most recent. Though to make things slightly trickier, one of the titles, I'll tell you, is a fake. To remind you, in a sort of consortium, the answers go from zero to five. So put the fake Star Trek title at zero and then number the rest from one to five. And the Star Treks Star Deep Space Nine, Star Lower Decks, Star the Next Generation, Star Explorer, Star the Animated Series, Star the Original Series. I know it's hard to keep all those Star Treks straight in your head. So let's make it a little harder with a word from our sponsor. Finding a therapist online is hard enough, but finding one who actually takes your insurance, that's even harder. Ruala is a healthcare company that makes accessing affordable, high quality mental health care easier. They partner with over 100 insurance plans and match users with licensed in network therapists and psychiatrists nationwide based on their goals, preferences and background. No long wait lists, no frustrating back and forth, just personalized care that fits. Plus, Rula sticks with you throughout your journey, checking in to make sure your care is helping you move forward. Appointments are often available as soon as tomorrow, and with most patients paying just $15 per session, sometimes even less, it's care that actually fits your budget too. Thousands are already using Rula for therapy that's high quality, accessible and covered by Insurance. Visit rula.com clueless to get started. After signing up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Let them know this show sent you there. That's r u l a.com clueless because mental health care should work with you, not against your budget.

Cafe Patron (6:23)

I don't mean to interrupt your meal, but I saw you from across a cafe and you're the Geico Gecko, right?

Geico Gecko (6:28)

In the flesh.

Cafe Patron (6:29)

Oh my goodness. This is huge. To finally meet you. I love Geico's fast and friendly claim service.

Geico Gecko (6:34)

Well, that's how Geico gets 97% customer satisfaction.

Cafe Patron (6:37)

Anyway, that's all. Enjoy the rest of your food.

Geico Gecko (6:40)

No worries. So are you just gonna watch me eat?

Cafe Patron (6:43)

Oh, sorry, just a little starstruck. I'll be on my way.

Geico Gecko (6:47)

If you're gonna stick around, just pull up a chair.

Cafe Patron (6:50)

You're the best.

Elliot Kaelin (6:51)

Get more than just savings. Get more.

T-Mobile Advertiser (6:52)

With Geico introducing Family Freedom from T.

T-Mobile Advertiser (6:55)

Mobile, we'll pay off four phones up.

T-Mobile Advertiser (6:57)

To $3200 and give you four free phones, all on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com family freedom.

Geico Gecko (7:06)

Up to.

T-Mobile Advertiser (7:06)

800 per line via virtual prepaid card typically takes 15 days. Free phone via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement example Apple iPhone 16128 gigs 829.99 eligible trade in example iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel contact us.

Elliot Kaelin (7:30)

Welcome back to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the only puzzle podcast that tests your knowledge of Star Trek and your patience. We're finally at the best part of any test, finding out the answers. Because the test is over. Here is the Correct order of those Star Trek titles. In the zero spot, we have Star Tre Explorer. Explorer is not a real show. It's actually a type of Ford suv. You would not see one of those floating through space. Probably. Number one would be Star Trek the Original Series, which debuted September 8, 1966. That's why September 8 is Star Trek Day. Number two would be Star Trek the Animated Series from September 8, 1973, continuing the September 8 tradition, which would be almost immediately broken in 1987 with number three, Star Trek the Next Generation, from September 28, 1987. The number four is Star Trek Deep Space Nine, January 4, 1993. And number five is Star Trek Lower Decks from August 6, 2020. And so that order again is zero. Star Trek Explorer 1, Star Trek the Original Series, 2, Star Trek the Animated Series 3, Star Trek the Next Generation, 4, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, and 5, Star Trek Lower decks. I have said the phrase Star Trek so many times in this episode. Did you get the order right? If not, then I'm sorry, you're going to have to repeat your senior year at Starfleet Academy. And unfortunately, it's time for us to beam you out of this episode. But while they set the coordinates so that you don't materialize inside a wall or a tree, I'd like to thank you for listening and wish you a happy September 8th. Because you know what? A day doesn't need to be a holiday to be a special day. It could just be a day.

Devin Tory Bryant (9:12)

Yeah, I'm not sure what that means, but now would be a good time to remind our listeners that Clueless Season 2 will be showing up in their podcast feed later this year.

Elliot Kaelin (9:20)

I think you just did, producer Devin.

Devin Tory Bryant (9:21)

I think you're right.

Elliot Kaelin (9:22)

Until next week, this has been a Smartless presents Clueless mini. And I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, telling you to keep watching the skies. Hey, producer Devin. What now? While they're watching the skies, we can sneak away.

Geico Gecko (9:34)

Okay, great.

Devin Tory Bryant (9:35)

Clueless, you have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless a Smartless Media Productions in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Josh Richmond and myself. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

Elliot Kaelin (10:24)

Smart Glass.

Walmart Promoter (possibly a Walmart employee or spokesperson) (10:38)

Honey, do not make plans. Saturday, September 13th, okay?

Walmart Customer (10:41)

Why? What's happening?

Walmart Promoter (possibly a Walmart employee or spokesperson) (10:42)

The Walmart Wellness event. Flu shots, health screenings, free samples from those brands you like.

Walmart Customer (10:46)

All that at Walmart?

Walmart Promoter (possibly a Walmart employee or spokesperson) (10:48)

We can just walk right in, no appointment needed. Who knew we could cover our health and wellness needs at Walmart?

Walmart Customer (10:52)

Check the calendar. Saturday, September 13th.

Walmart Promoter (possibly a Walmart employee or spokesperson) (10:55)

Walmart wellness event. You knew?

Elliot Kaelin (10:57)

I knew.

Walmart Customer (10:58)

Check in on your health at the same place you already shop. Visit Walmart, Saturday, September 13th, for our semi annual wellness event Flu Shot. Subject to availability and applicable state law. Restrictions apply. Free samples while supplies last.