
Join us for a hero’s journey with the great Macaulay Culkin. Find your light, hit your marks, systematically sabotage the Wet Bandits. It’s Magic v. Sexy v. Naughty… on an all-new SmartLess.
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Sean Hayes
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Jason Bateman
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Sean Hayes
I do because it's nostalgic. It makes me feel like where I put my. My onesie on. You know, with the. With the feet where the whole. The pajamas.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Do you have a little. Do you have the little. The. The.
Macaulay Culkin
The.
Jason Bateman
The. The button sort of window that drops in the back for poops?
Sean Hayes
Don't beat around the bush. What are you trying to say?
Jason Bateman
Do you have a back flap or do you have.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, but that's not my jeans you're talking about. Talking about my pa.
Jason Bateman
Watched any. Any of the holiday videos or movies yet?
Sean Hayes
Not yet, but I'm going to. It's going to be so exciting. Do you want to come over and watch them?
Jason Bateman
Yeah. You came over last time. I guess we got to come over to your places too.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Tit for tat.
Jason Bateman
Tit for tat.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Splitty Splat. Welcome to a new episode.
Sean Hayes
Smart. Less Smart.
Will Arnett
Smart. Sm.
Macaulay Culkin
Yes.
Sean Hayes
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Jason Bateman
Jesus Christ. Sean.
Will Arnett
Hell, Sean, this was.
Sean Hayes
It wasn't on the. It wasn't on my calendar. Whoa.
Jason Bateman
Don't tell. Yeah, don't say it like it's our fault. Who's. Who's in control of your calendar?
Sean Hayes
We were waiting.
Jason Bateman
Nick the prick.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Did you get a deal, by the way, Sean? He says Nick. He didn't even know who Nick was.
Jason Bateman
I mean, Nick for years has just been.
Will Arnett
We literally said, did we call Nick? And he goes, who? What's. What's a Nick? What's a Nick? No, he said, what's a Nick?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, it's a Nick. Clearly.
Jason Bateman
Discount assistant.
Will Arnett
We were about to call Cedars because we thought. Have you checked the paddle waiting room?
Sean Hayes
That is the worst feeling in the world. This guy's like. I'm like, what? What are you talking about?
Jason Bateman
Okay, well, let's take a couple of. Oh, sorry, Will, do you want to finish chewing that?
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Okay. Will Arnett.
Will Arnett
This guy.
Sean Hayes
Wait, how are you guys.
Jason Bateman
No, no, no, no.
Sean Hayes
You already did that. You already did that.
Jason Bateman
Let's take a guess what we interrupted.
Will Arnett
And what was going on. What were you doing? Spaghetti?
Sean Hayes
No, sorry.
Will Arnett
Well, no, it's first thing in the morning, so that's seemed like the most likely.
Jason Bateman
He was turning the pop tart over in the oven.
Sean Hayes
I'm going to tell you right now, the honest to God. The honest to God truth. Passed out sleeping.
Will Arnett
Okay.
Jason Bateman
Because you got up too early.
Will Arnett
Shing butter or surprise guest as guests. Real limpy, by the way. Since you've been away, Sean, our surprise guest, has been very active in the chat, which has been fun.
Sean Hayes
All right, good.
Jason Bateman
I'm a big Olivia Munn fan and a fun lady.
Will Arnett
Yeah. Okay.
Sean Hayes
Okay.
Jason Bateman
Do you want to guess?
Will Arnett
No, but let's get back to Shawnee. So what happened?
Sean Hayes
So how was your sleep?
Will Arnett
What was your sleep?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I got up at three and then I wrote I. And then I was. And then I had this script that I had to write notes on. So I spent like three or four hours rereading it and rereading it. Rereading it and writing notes on it and stuff like that. And then I was like, oh, God, I gotta go back to sleep. And then I. Scotty's like, hey, you have a smart list. I'm like, what? And I jumped out of bed. You should smell my breath.
Will Arnett
Oh, I'm good. Hey, so what's gonna now? What's the process? When we're done here? Nick gets what, a phone call or you want an in person?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, no, I'm. No, I'm definitely gonna ask what happened. No, I. Yeah, that's it. That's it. And my niece is here with her four friends, so there's five there's five girls staying in the house. Oh, my God. It's so. They're, you know, so we were up late.
Will Arnett
Let's bring them in and have them smell your breath. Can we do that?
Jason Bateman
So wait, this is the daughter of who?
Sean Hayes
This is my brother Dennis's daughter, Elise. And I remember her name cause it rhymes with niece.
Jason Bateman
Oh, that's a big deal that you remember the name of your niece.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Hey, Jason, this is not a road you want to go down.
Jason Bateman
Right, Sorry. Hey, so how old is Elise?
Sean Hayes
She's just turned 24. She just turned 24.
Will Arnett
Take the sharpness out of your voice.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I know. He's so mad at me, but he won't show up.
Jason Bateman
She's having a five person sleepover at Uncle Sean's house.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. It's fun.
Will Arnett
Stupid.
Jason Bateman
Did they climb into a bottle of something last night?
Sean Hayes
Yes, they did.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
These girls.
Sean Hayes
These girls, they're really funny, though. But you know, they're like in the middle of dinner last night, like, they'll say the most random things.
Jason Bateman
Are they crazy?
Sean Hayes
They're. You guys, they're crazy. I'm going to tell you something right in the middle of. We were talking about politics or drinking or something, and. And her friend Taylor goes, oh, Taylor, that family tasty.
Will Arnett
Don't. Don't get me started on Taylor at a dinner. Dinner. Taylor at a dinner with politics. She must have.
Sean Hayes
She goes. In the middle of the thing, she goes, oh, my God, you guys, did you hear? Jesse Eisenberg's gonna give away one of his kidneys to a stranger.
Will Arnett
I mean, that's unbelievable. And by the way, that's the best part. That's the whole story comes over the top with.
Sean Hayes
And then she goes, oh, my God, you guys, he's so nice. By the way, I didn't know Jesse Eisenberg was giving away a kidney to a stranger.
Will Arnett
Hang on a second. Let's get back to Taylor's comment. I mean, and. And that's. That's it.
Jason Bateman
I mean, was she wearing that cute thing that.
Will Arnett
What was that?
Jason Bateman
Hey, so wait, so Jesse. I don't. I don't believe for one second that Jesse Eisenberg is giving away a kidney to a stranger.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, that's.
Sean Hayes
What.
Jason Bateman
It's not just some sort of.
Sean Hayes
I didn't. It was in the news.
Jason Bateman
Really?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, it was in the news. And they have that. And they go, I didn't know, you guys. Oh, my God, Ed Sheeran didn't use a phone. And then Ellis goes, oh, he's so mysterious.
Jason Bateman
And Then I'm like.
Sean Hayes
And then I'm like. They all really talk like that. And like, what? This is really happening.
Jason Bateman
Where are they from?
Sean Hayes
Chicago. Glen Ellen.
Will Arnett
Glen Ellen.
Jason Bateman
So they all flew in?
Sean Hayes
Well, they all know now. One lives in New York, but they all live in the Chicagoland area and they all decided to fly in for her birthday. It was nice. It's fun.
Will Arnett
It's nice of you to host them. Yeah, but Jason, this is what people do for family and this is what people do. It's selfless. Her uncle is rich and famous and lives in Hollywood and so they're gonna go out there and stay in his mansion. That makes sense. What part of that do you not get?
Jason Bateman
For how long are these strangers gonna be in?
Will Arnett
It's his niece.
Sean Hayes
They are going to be here for two, two or three more days.
Jason Bateman
How long have they been there already?
Sean Hayes
They're total of five days.
Will Arnett
That is a long time.
Jason Bateman
Do you know the other girls names?
Sean Hayes
Yes. Taylor, Ainsley, Lily. Oh, what's. Oh, shoot. And the new one last.
Jason Bateman
This is fun.
Will Arnett
Julie.
Jason Bateman
Alondra.
Will Arnett
Alondra. Catherine and Julie are surprise guests. Just threw in the sh.
Sean Hayes
What did she. What did the guest say?
Macaulay Culkin
I was close. I was close.
Sean Hayes
Oh, my God. All right, let's get. Who is this person?
Will Arnett
This is the. This is the most fun guest. Sean, I'm really excited that we're catching you in this. This is the rust we've ever seen.
Sean Hayes
You know, you can tell I'm nervous because.
Will Arnett
I know, I know you are nervous because you. You just feel you're out of sorts. You. You haven't. You're just waking up, you're raw and I haven't seen you this raw since Fill in the Blank. So no, that was the name of the. That was the name of the bar. They it down for health reasons, but Fill in the Blank, by the way, gross title.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Are you guys going to meet at Fill in the Blank later?
Will Arnett
Our.
Sean Hayes
Our. Our dollar drinks that fill in the blank.
Will Arnett
Our guest has been active in the film business for many years. Dare I say most of his life. And not just adult life. Most of his life. Life. So, Jason, this is going to be somebody that you can identify. This is Kurt Russell, but this is who's been doing it for so long and who reached such incredible heights of fame as a young person and has continued to work throughout. It's been incredible. Started in films like Rocket Gibraltar, born on the 4th of July. Then movies started to have more success in bigger roles and in movies like Uncle Buck, Jacob's Ladder. And then absolutely through the stratosphere with Home Alone. Home Alone. Richie, Richard. And then Monday, it's Macaulay cooking.
Jason Bateman
Macaulay, welcome to the show.
Sean Hayes
You were on my list as well. Oh, my God, this is so cool.
Jason Bateman
Appropriately dressed in smartless PJs.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, yes, yes, of course. Yes.
Sean Hayes
Macaulay, I'm so sorry I was late. So many apologies. I'm never late.
Macaulay Culkin
No, it's too late for that.
Will Arnett
He just. No, I mean, just Taylor, when Taylor gets going, and then just forget it.
Macaulay Culkin
You know what I mean? Just let her off the leash, I swear.
Will Arnett
Can't even. I don't know if you heard about Ed Sheeran, but it's so mysterious. Culkin.
Jason Bateman
Golly, where are we finding you today?
Macaulay Culkin
I mean, I'm in Los Angeles. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Oh, what part?
Macaulay Culkin
I live in Toluca Lake.
Jason Bateman
I've done a lot of time there.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. Okay. You, like, make it sound like a prison, you know?
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, I love it there. They've got. They got one of the greatest golf clubs in all of America there at Lakeside.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Do you golf, Macaulay?
Macaulay Culkin
No, no, but I'm investing in a golf cart. You know, we'll put it that way.
Jason Bateman
So you can tool around the neighborhood.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, pretty much. Ye. Yeah. You know, because you got a jones. You know, everyone has a golf cart, so, you know, I got a jones. You know.
Will Arnett
By the way. You know what's interesting, Sean? I was gonna say Macaulay, what's interesting is that you're. You're an Angelino now, perhaps you live in Los Angeles, but you're a New Yorker, and yet you played a character who so closely identified with Chicago.
Macaulay Culkin
Yes.
Will Arnett
So you've. You've kind of really covered the whole country. You're. You're Amer. You belong to America. Can I just say that?
Macaulay Culkin
No, that's. That's well put. Yes. But I love how a New Yorker is like a Chicago. Like, you know, they love me there. I swear to God, I do gangbusters there.
Will Arnett
Do you?
Sean Hayes
Oh, in Chicago. In Chicago, yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
In Chicago, yeah.
Will Arnett
Sean, hang on. Sean. Sean, hang on. Said Chicago.
Jason Bateman
Sean's also done some time there. Yeah.
Will Arnett
Every time we mention. Yeah, go ahead.
Sean Hayes
Do you want to just get it over with and then we can move on to other things?
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
So when I was a kid and I was in high school, John Hughes was making all of his movies in. In. As you know, in. And I remember right, he's very old, so. So it was wild to grow. I've said this before. It was wild to grow. Up in the town where he was making the movies. And then when I'm in high school, those movies came out about high school. So it was all. It was all encompassed. John Hughes all the time, all around Chicago show.
Will Arnett
Who did you identify with? Is it Ducky, by the way?
Sean Hayes
I got called Ducky all the time. All the time I did. Because I dressed like him and everything.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Did you ever see them shooting around. Around the neighborhood, Sean?
Sean Hayes
No, but. No, but Lucas, you know, was filmed in my high school and if you remember that movie. Lucas, Anybody?
Macaulay Culkin
No.
Sean Hayes
Yes.
Macaulay Culkin
And yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Charlie Sheen.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Corey Ham. Yeah. We're known to writers.
Will Arnett
That was a great. That was a great little movie, actually. Lucas. I like that.
Sean Hayes
I was in. I was an extra. I was like 14 years old.
Jason Bateman
Anyway, did you sit in background holding on, you know, on a. On a fold out?
Will Arnett
Were you late to that?
Macaulay Culkin
And that little boy, did you sleep through that? That nobody wanted? That's right.
Will Arnett
Macaulay Culkin, by the way, are you excited, Jason? What I thought you were gonna say is, are you excited for the release? Because we're gonna talk about later. Of Zootopia 2.
Macaulay Culkin
Yes, very much so. Yes. Me and Brenda are taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. We're playing brother and sister. Meow.
Sean Hayes
Oh, boy. Wait, who is?
Macaulay Culkin
Me and my lady. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
That's gonna. I'm gonna be at the premiere.
Jason Bateman
Now, which. What.
Sean Hayes
What, what.
Jason Bateman
What animal is your character?
Macaulay Culkin
We are playing cats. That meow is literal. Yeah.
Will Arnett
Jason. A fox, Right.
Jason Bateman
Thanks, man.
Macaulay Culkin
Wait, you had that one in the chamber.
Sean Hayes
Wait, McAus. You're in Zootopia and Jason, you didn't know which character he. He was.
Jason Bateman
To be honest, had no idea Macaulay was in it.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah. No, Are. Are you kidding me? This is animation.
Jason Bateman
Like, let anybody know anything. Willie, tell. Tell them I'm wrong. I honestly don't even know what the film is about. I didn't know what the first film was about. I didn't know till I saw it.
Will Arnett
I have had those moments where this is so embarrassing, but like Jason, where somebody goes, hey, you run into someone, they go, hey, we're doing the thing. And you go, no way. By the way, this is when it's done. This is not going into it.
Jason Bateman
It's typical of animation.
Sean Hayes
It's done.
Jason Bateman
You just siloed. Yeah. You like, record your scenes, you know, a la carte over the period of a couple of years and. Yeah.
Will Arnett
Had you done a bunch of animated stuff, Macaulay before?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah. Back in the early 90s like everyone else. I had a Saturday morning Cartoo cartoon, you know, remember, like, they gave one to. I remember they gave one to Roseanne Barr. John Candy had Camp Candy. They had a Bobby's World. Howie Mandel, like, you know, like, yeah, Louie. Louie Anderson had his own Saturday morning cartoon giving away like. Like candy, you know.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Saturday morning cartoons, you guys, was everything for me, too.
Will Arnett
Me too, man.
Sean Hayes
I love that.
Will Arnett
It was. So we're a little bit older than you are, Macaulay, but you probably also remember that feeling of the Saturday morning cartoon.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, no, look forward to it. I'm raising my kids with, like, a. Like, morning cartoons. Like, it's like. Yeah, just. We. It's just on YouTube now, but, like, it's a thing.
Will Arnett
Exactly. It's just on YouTube. And what was great about it back then was that we only. You only got it on Saturday so you could have. It just wasn't available 24 7. So it felt really.
Macaulay Culkin
It was appointment television. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Will Arnett
Wait. All right, so Macaulay, we're going to roll it all the way back, like we like to do. We're going to. We're going to get right to the beginning because you. You did start, like I said, when you were. As everybody. A lot of people know that you started very young acting. And Jay, not unlike our friend Jason Bateman. What was that? What was the age. What was the age at which you were. You decided or you got. You and your family decided, like, I'm gonna do this. Was this predetermined or were you.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Did you seek it?
Will Arnett
What was the. What was the thing that started that said, hey, I'm gonna. We should do this?
Macaulay Culkin
It was actually. It was my father. He had. He was gonna take my older brother and sister, and he was gonna take, like, headshots of them in the park. And it was. And then my mom was kind of just like, oh, just take Mac with you. Like, you know, I think she just wanted a break. And, yeah, I just started booking right away. I started out earning everyone else pretty fast.
Will Arnett
Wow.
Sean Hayes
Through commercials and stuff, you mean.
Macaulay Culkin
You know, it was more. I did, like, Black Box Theater in Manhattan, and I got written up for that. And then, honestly, I just. I jumped pretty much straight to film. I did a couple of commercials here and there, but that. But like, literally out of the gate, it was Black Box Theater and then. Then cinema.
Will Arnett
So am I right that Rocket Gibraltar was your first film? Is that.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah. That was actually Bert Lancaster is one of his last movies, and they hired a bunch of New York Stage actors and I was a, you know, stage actor, and it was like. Who's like, Bill Pullman, Patricia Clarkson, Spacey, was. Was in it and stuff like that.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
What was your. What was your. What was that life. You first experience on a film set? How old were you? Do you remember?
Macaulay Culkin
I was six.
Will Arnett
Wow.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. No, honestly, it was. I just knew. Whatever. Memorize your lines, don't look in the camera. You know, find your light, hit your marks, things like that. I was. It was. It was pretty.
Jason Bateman
Sean's still trying to nail that down.
Sean Hayes
No, but that's what blows my mind. When young kids like yourself and how did they know to do that? Like, there's so many kids that can't do that.
Will Arnett
Well, like, did your parents give you that?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, I mean, yeah, pretty much. You know, like, you know, when you're a kid, you're a fast learner.
Jason Bateman
And wasn't the draw. Was the draw the same for you as it was for me? It was just like, basically, I get to skip school. That's all I was looking at, you.
Macaulay Culkin
Know, as it went on. For me, as it went on, it was actually the opposite because I was always away and I didn't like. And you have to remember a lot of my work when I was, you know, pretty much when I was younger, I never worked with people my own age. I was always working with adults. So, like. Yeah, so if anything, I kind of had a yearning to, like, go to school, to, like, you know, have contemporaries and things like that.
Sean Hayes
And. Did you ever.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, once I quit, I quit when I was 14. 14? Yeah. Quit for, like, nearly a decade and. Yeah, no, just. Just went to. Went to school, went to high school, you know, fell in love, got, you know, got.
Sean Hayes
What was that?
Macaulay Culkin
Like, got drunk for the first time.
Will Arnett
Things like that. What was that like? I mean, because you had. As I pointed out, we all know you had incredible success. First of all, Uncle Buck is just an absolute gem of a film. It holds up. I watch it like, once a year. I. It kills me.
Macaulay Culkin
You have great.
Will Arnett
And I know you. You were part of that John Candy documentary, too, about. Right, that.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, that was lovely. Yeah. No, it really was a good tribute to him. It really did him justice. It was. They were actually had. They were trying to track me down for a while, and I just kind of kept on just going. Yeah, I'll get around to it. And just never did. And then finally, yeah, finally they tracked me down. And on the. On the carpet when they did the premiere, I talked to Colin Hanks. He was the one who directed it. And I said, who was harder to track down, me or Bill Murray? He goes, you. He didn't even blink.
Will Arnett
Wow. So what was John Candy like? Because I've always just. That guy, to me is just such a giant.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, no, he was a. Yeah, he was sweet. He was very giving. You know, they always say don't work with kids or animals, you know, but, you know, he. He was actually really good with me. Yes, he was very sweet. I did. I did three films with him because he was in. He was also in Home Alone and also I had a brief part in Only the Lonely. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Jason Bateman
Now, now, Macaulay, when you, when you took your, your 10 year hiatus, was there an expectation that your law. That your spot would be held for you in line? Or. Or were you at that point, were you like, I don't really care if I come back to this industry.
Macaulay Culkin
I was dunskis. Like, I was full. Yeah, I was, I was done. Like, yeah, yeah. I was like, I hope you all made your money because there's no more coming from me. Yeah, I made my name. I made my mark. I made my fortune. Like, so I don't, you know, like, the only reason why I even, like, do it now is because I like to do it. You know, it's. You know, it's a. What is it? A play, A pay, pleasure, prestige. That's the only reason to do a gig. Technically, I'm retired right now. Like, I retire and then if I find something I like, I unretire, do that and I immediately retire afterward.
Sean Hayes
Look at me.
Macaulay Culkin
Every gig is my last shot.
Will Arnett
He just, Sean just acts like he's retired. He's not retired, but he just sleeps in. He does whatever he wants. He's.
Sean Hayes
Whatever.
Jason Bateman
When you were not. When you were not acting and you were going through high school and then. And then hitting the college years, was there, Was there a thought to study a different industry? Was there an interest pole anywhere?
Macaulay Culkin
Not necessarily. You know, I was kind of just drifting around and trying to figure out kind of what I wanted out of life and so forth. And I mean, listen, this was a calling that found me. I didn't find it. And so I wanted to explore that in a different kind of way on my terms.
Jason Bateman
Right, well, talk about that because I, I went through a very similar thing where it was just like, well, I'm young enough to really start over and at something that I can sort of drive a little bit more. I can have much more say in my longevity and my relevance and my access Any other career, any other occupation, any other industry.
Will Arnett
Did you want to do something else, J.B. i did.
Jason Bateman
I desperately wanted to do something that I could count on, that I wasn't so nervous about maintaining employment in. And so, you know, I got another job before I ever fully went into, you know, studying something else. But was that a part of your thinking at all, Macaulay? Was there? Tell us about. About, about that. About just thinking about going forward and providing.
Macaulay Culkin
I mean, I was. I was in a position where I could just put my thumb up my butt and play video games all day long. I could do anything I want. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
And so there was enough employment before you quit at 14 to. To. To cover you for the rest of your life?
Macaulay Culkin
Indeed.
Sean Hayes
Oh, great.
Will Arnett
Wow.
Jason Bateman
Oh, that was not my case.
Macaulay Culkin
But, but there was that Hogan's Family bank, you know.
Will Arnett
No, it wasn't enough.
Macaulay Culkin
No.
Will Arnett
You. I mean, we were.
Jason Bateman
I was spending too much. I was having fun, you know.
Sean Hayes
On what?
Jason Bateman
On just like basically catching up.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
And we will be right back.
Sean Hayes
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Will Arnett
So McCauley, but you know, it's funny, you use the expression you said you, you know, there's no more money to be made off me or something like that, which I which I wonder, like when you did quit and you were 14, was there a sense of like that, that you had, was there a sense of resentment towards people who had made money off you in a way?
Macaulay Culkin
No, no. I mean, I got the lion's share of it, you know, but it was also, it was kind of a rat race. Like it was, I remember when I stopp fun, I wanted to kind of, I wanted to take a break and I said I was getting really taxed and, and like, yeah, I just kind of want to do like a semester of school, you know, that kind of thing. And I was not heard and that was something that really affected me. It affected my work and stuff like that. And then it was just like, oh, I'm on the hamster wheel and I can't get off. And so once I had some autonomy and some agency in my life, yeah, I grabbed it with both hands, you know.
Will Arnett
Yeah, but that's a big, that's a big burden for, for a kid of 14. First of all, it's kind of a big realization for a kid of 14 to be able to actually listen to yourself and go, hey, this doesn't feel great. And the people that I'm trusting, I'm trying to, I'm trying to tell people this is how I feel, and they're not necessarily recognizing that there's got to be, I can imagine, I'm, I can only sort of try to imagine how I would feel if I felt like there must be a frustration in there a little bit. I'm not, by the way, I'm not trying to push you into a position. I'm just curious.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, no, no. I mean, I was definitely frustrated, like.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
And it was, yeah. Again, it was kind of just like, yeah. Once I had the, the chance to get off, it was like, cool. And I, I said, I'll just figure it all out later, you know. Yeah, I'll just, you know, that's kind of what I did, you know, And.
Jason Bateman
I imagine that the, Were you like, like other child actors, myself included? Was it the inevitability of your parents being your manager? Was that the case in your life as well?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah. And I, I, I, I a pretty acrimonious relationship with my father, famously so. Yeah. And as soon as I was able to kind of push him out, like, yeah, just my quality of life on the day to day level definitely went up.
Jason Bateman
Right. Gotcha. Yeah. I had a very complicated relationship with that as well. Certainly as you get older, in retrospect, it becomes even more complicated as you become a parent and you start to think about the decisions that they make about being an employee in your life and how that adjusts the dynamic of how you look at your parents as, you know, what should be sort of your North Star, the person that you follow when instead they now create a dynamic where you're the boss at an age when you're kind of needing parental care.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. And that's where their bread is buttered, you know? Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. It's really complicated. But, you know, I think you look to be on the other side of that very healthily. I hope I am.
Will Arnett
But, jb, you pointed out before this idea, Macaulay, I don't know if you had this, but I, I, this has always stuck with me, JB that and I, and I think about it from time to time, truly, I do, that, that you, I remember you saying you had to keep your grades up in order to keep working. Right. That There by, by law every six months. So there was a pressure to keep your grades up so that you could work, so that you could pay the bills because you were the breadwinner, right?
Jason Bateman
Yeah, every six months it was a grading period or you maintain a C average or you lose your work permit and so whatever job you're on, you would be fired immediately. And so all the crew members go out of work, all the, the network gets upset, the parent, you know, like.
Will Arnett
And you're a kid.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. So the mid midterms and finals and you're doing a test that affects your grade by like 60 or 70. It's just like earth shattering pressure. Right.
Will Arnett
Did you have that, did you experience that, McCauley?
Macaulay Culkin
Not really. I was pretty fairly good, a good student and I, I had a pretty, a pretty great onset tutor and she, yeah, she was very sympathetic to me and just when it came to like she could tell when I was tired or burnout or something like that.
Jason Bateman
If you're having trouble answering any questions.
Macaulay Culkin
You just whisper it. Yeah, no, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that, you know, but yeah, she definitely, she definitely like, would lay off me. Like she, she, y' all just give me a.
Will Arnett
If you don't know this one.
Macaulay Culkin
No, she'd like read me like the Outsiders or something like that. Just like, hey, down, I'm going to read it to you kind of thing. Yeah, things like that. Like, you know. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty great.
Jason Bateman
You just rest your head against my shoulder.
Will Arnett
Where is this?
Jason Bateman
Say golden Pony boy, get over here.
Sean Hayes
Wow, that's hysterical.
Will Arnett
Well, I mean, by the way, so then what we're not, what we're also not addressing is the fact. So you decide at 14, you're like, look, I need a break. I, I kind of want to shift gears here. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Huge shift and compounded by the fact that you're about as famous a person there is on the planet at this point.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
So there's still to this day, still.
Will Arnett
This day, of course. But I'm saying that at 14, yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
It was difficult, tricky waters to maneuver through and stuff like that because you don't necessarily have the actual or emotional vocabulary to really kind of maneuver through those waters. And I always kind of thought of myself as a peerless person. Like I couldn't turn left and right like, you know, like, and go. Oh, you're like, like, you know, it was a very unique experience.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
And so, yeah, you know, so yeah, it was, you know, I kind of had to, like, you know, just figure it out on my own for a big chunk of it.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. I was gonna say, like, how have you adjusted, if at all, how you are in public, going to anywhere? Like, do you feel like you have to kind of compromise yourself and go, God, here we go.
Macaulay Culkin
I definitely have to gird myself, you know, for, you know, outings and so forth. You know, I. You know, I just set certain ground rules, rules for myself, like, you know, just. Yeah. Like, don't approach me when I'm at the dinner table. I don't like that. You know, don't approach me when I'm with my kids. Definitely don't follow me to the bathroom. You know, like, things like that, you know? Yeah. And I just realized that I'm in charge of the social contract. I'm in charge of the interaction.
Jason Bateman
Sean, what are you scratching off on what list? What are you doing?
Sean Hayes
What are you talking about?
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, look at Will.
Sean Hayes
No, bathroom.
Will Arnett
Sean drops a lot of notes that say, please follow me to the bathroom, bathroom.
Sean Hayes
With an arrow.
Will Arnett
So then. So then there you are. So then there you are, and now you take a decade off or whatever. It was a huge chunk of time. What's the moment where you go, I want to go back.
Macaulay Culkin
Or, you know, you kind of get to, like, the end of high school, and you're kind of just like, oh, what am I going to do with my life? You know, again, I could kind of do whatever I wanted. And, you know, there was that kind of thought where, like I said, this was something that found me. I didn't find it. And let me see. Let me. Let me try this on for size a little bit. So when I was about 20 or so, 20, 21, I went to London, did a play there for a year, brought it back to the States. That was fun. It was successful. And then you jumped in, did Party Monster. Then I did say, what play was it? It was called Madame Melville. Yeah. Was it at the Barbican, the vaudeville theater on the Strand?
Will Arnett
Sorry, Jason had a question. Nothing.
Jason Bateman
Was there. Was there ever a thought. Was there a thought to go to college at all? To.
Will Arnett
To.
Jason Bateman
To study a different career?
Macaulay Culkin
Not necessarily, no. Like I said, I mean, unless I had, like, a focus on something, I didn't really see the point of it, like, just. Or get a degree in general, like, you know. Yeah. If I wanted to be, like, you know, wanted to study, like, English literature or something like that, yeah, that would make sense. You know what I mean? But I didn't have. I didn't have that necessarily. That kind of bone in my body. So, yeah, I kind of just. Although I did kind of. I semi regret it because I remember visiting friends at college and go, oh, looks like fun, you know? Yeah, Right, right. But again, it would have been. It would have been purely social, really. You know, it's like. Yeah. Paying all that money to be social.
Jason Bateman
With social life enough outside of college to. To pacify that.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, yeah, no, definitely, you know. Yeah, I. I've had a good groups of friends and so forth and, you know. Yeah.
Will Arnett
So. Oh, I thought you were. I thought. I thought. Jason, you were saying, did you party?
Jason Bateman
Basically, yes. I'm looking at my daughter at college right now, and just like, it just. This looks like so much damn. I definitely had fun without college, but, my God, the whole sort of. And then because it's like this great counterbalance. So, like, once you kind of sober up and you get past your hangover and every. You do want to kind of balance it with something. I didn't have that opportunity with college. You can go listen to some incredible professor give a lecture on something and you can kind of bathe yourself with. With something that's. That's highbrow, you know? I don't know. It would have been a good, good, good thing for me.
Macaulay Culkin
You sound so wistful, you know, I know.
Jason Bateman
All I had was Charlie Rose in New York Times to so bathe myself.
Sean Hayes
Macaulay, did you ever guest star in a sitcom or anything?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, it's funny. There's. There was one long time ago. Geez, I can't remember the name of it. Yeah. I did an episode of Will and Grace.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, you're fantastic.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, thanks. Yeah, yeah, no, I remember you were talking about how you talked about Nancy Klumsky. That was like. Yeah, yeah. You're like, I know Nancy. I know Nancy and Anna, you know. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Wait. Oh, that's right. Because of.
Macaulay Culkin
And you were like. You did an impersonation of her. I was like. That was spot on. I haven't seen her in, like, 15 years. But that was like.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, you pinged me pretty good. Of Anna's mom, Nancy. Wait. Because you were in My Girl.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. You're in My Girl together. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
And Anna and I grew up in Chicago. Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
I don't know what.
Sean Hayes
It's all. Everybody's connected as well.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. Yeah. It's a small town, really.
Sean Hayes
You were great. You were great on the show.
Macaulay Culkin
It was. It was fun. Yeah. I mostly worked with Megan and stuff, but that was. That was fun, you know? Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
I mean, to be fair, also, I didn't know what I was walking into. I'd never seen an episode in my whole life.
Sean Hayes
That's fine. Me neither.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Sean Hayes
Either. So.
Will Arnett
So, McCall, so you take the break, you come back. You do theater. You come back to New York, and then you do Party Monster. And I remember that was kind of like your big return. It was like a big Sundance hit, right? It was like.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. You know, it's kind of what I wanted, you know, I was like, oh, I saw the, like, oh, Sundance looks like. Look. Looks cool. I want to do something Sundancey and stuff. You know, it was based on a true story. The book was really good. It was just like. Yeah, like a. You know, it was kind of a left of center kind of material and kind of. I didn't want to just jump into studio fair or. Really?
Will Arnett
And. And did you feel. Did you feel satisfied once you did that? Not satisfied in. In terms of, like, I'm good forever, but did you feel like, okay, I'm.
Macaulay Culkin
I'm.
Will Arnett
I'm doing the right thing here. I'm back. I'm kind of doing. I'm kind of driving my own train here a little bit now.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, definitely. It was. It was nice to try those. Those boots on for size and. And yeah, and kind of like, again, having some, you know, autonomy, like I said, in agency, where I was kind of like, oh, this. This is what I want to do. And. Yeah, no, it was. It was a ton of fun, you know. Yeah, it was very different because I was really expensive studio kind of gigs, and next thing you know, we're kind of guerrilla filming in Times Square, waiting. Waiting for the police patrol to go by so that we could film. And then, you know, gotta wait again and, like, you know, Seth Green's dressed like a pork chop. I'm wearing just nothing but, like, you know, just like a feather boa as an entire outfit.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, it's great. Great movie. And it was.
Will Arnett
Was a great movie.
Macaulay Culkin
What are you laughing at, Jason?
Jason Bateman
I'm gonna call it. I was wearing a feather bow. It's complete outfit. Sean's like, yeah, yeah, no, I love that movie.
Sean Hayes
I love that movie.
Will Arnett
Just woke up. Sean's very raw. He just woke up.
Sean Hayes
Wait, so. So wait, so Brenda, right? Is it. Is her name Brenda?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, Brenda. Yeah, yeah.
Sean Hayes
Is she.
Macaulay Culkin
Forget that's your wife? Yeah, we're actually. We're unwed interracial couples. So, yeah, we check. We check all the boxes when it comes to.
Jason Bateman
So then you haven't slept together?
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, yeah. Well, only twice, really. You know, Wait a second.
Jason Bateman
I am the maker then.
Will Arnett
Oh, look at those boys. Oh, my God.
Jason Bateman
Two boys. Am I guessing right?
Macaulay Culkin
I'm the maker of men.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wait, let me see it again. Let me see it again. No, you have to tap it again.
Macaulay Culkin
Dark. Yeah. Face id. Look at those things.
Sean Hayes
Oh, look at that. That's great.
Will Arnett
I can't wear a double breasted jacket. No, they're too boxy on me.
Macaulay Culkin
Ever try rocking a Mohawk, dude?
Will Arnett
Nah, they're too boxy on me.
Jason Bateman
All right, so where, when, when, when did, when did you meet your, your, your, your baby mama?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, we did a film together in Thailand. I went all the way to Thailand to meet a Thai girl from Sacramento and. Yeah. Yeah. And that we kind of met there. We didn't have any scenes together, but we had a lot of free time, let's put it that way. Yeah. And I think, I think especially she, she was looking at, oh, this is gonna be a fling. And I think we both were like fleeing, you know. Yeah. And she's like, I never had a fling before. And yeah, we got back to the States and we kept it going and, you know.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
How long has that been?
Macaulay Culkin
About eight and a half years now. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wow.
Jason Bateman
Very cool.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get married someday. You know, I mean, it's funny because she, she wanted me to propose. She wanted to get married. And so finally I put a ring on it and now she's in no hurry to get married. I'm like, wait a second, like, engage.
Jason Bateman
Perpetually engaged.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, it's been, she's about four, four years almost on the dial. We got engaged on Christmas of 2021. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
All right, now, how do you like being a dad? I mean, it's, it's. Considering the, the incredibly colorful childhood you had, are you enjoying having that role now?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, no, I absolutely love it. You know. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a little. It was strange because it's. I didn't really have a lot of. I'm kind of reinventing the wheel, let's put it that way. I didn't really have any good role models. You know, my father was a goddamn piece of work.
Jason Bateman
Right. And it was completely untrad. Traditional. Non.
Macaulay Culkin
It was scary. It was, it was absolutely scary. And yeah, like I said, like my, my, you know, like what, like what a proper family was really. It was more ref. You know, it was like a. Watching something like, you know, growing pains. Or family family ties or something like that, you know? Yeah, because I definitely did not have a conventional family.
Jason Bateman
So.
Will Arnett
How many, how many of your siblings? Sorry?
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, I'm third of seven kids. My. My mother did not have a family. She had a litter. A litter of cul. Right. Wow.
Jason Bateman
So are you. Do. Do you guys run a very then traditional house? Like, is there Sunday dinners and.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, I mean, we definitely wear matching pajamas. We definitely, you know, and. Yeah, no, it's a. They have a more structured life than I did. Mine was kind of more freewheeling, kind of, you know, like a.
Sean Hayes
It makes you want to be a better dad, right?
Macaulay Culkin
Indeed, indeed. You know. Yeah, that's, that's the whole thing. I don't want the sins of my father being passed on to my kids. So, yeah, I'm, you know, so. Yeah.
Will Arnett
And, and are you. So are you close to your. Your family? Family? Your, your family of origin, like your, your siblings and.
Macaulay Culkin
A little bit. I mean, yeah, I mean, I keep in touch, but they're, they're all east coast. They. None of them have ever lived outside of New York City. I've. I've lived all over the place and stuff, so I'm 3,000 miles away, so it's, you know, I don't see him as often as touch base, things like that, you know. Merry Christmas.
Will Arnett
How many of them are. Are performers? I know that your, your, your brother Kieran's a actor. Of course.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. No, I'm very proud of him. Between me and him, we have exactly one Oscar.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
That'S good.
Sean Hayes
That's really good.
Macaulay Culkin
And, and, and my brother Rory, he, He works a lot too. He actually works more than me and Kieran combined. He just. Is just doing a bunch of indies and stuff. He's always, he's always moving.
Jason Bateman
Is it nice, Is it nice to be able to reach out to a sibling and, and discuss the, the oddities of. Of this business? I know. I enjoy that sometimes with my sister.
Macaulay Culkin
No, we don't really. We honestly, we don't really talk shop, you know. Yeah, yeah, we were kind of a. I mean, occasionally you kind of touch base on it kind of thing, but it's like, like, it's know, like, you know, just, just because, you know, just because you're both mail men doesn't mean you want to talk about male. You know that.
Jason Bateman
What about your. Is your wife still acting?
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, yeah, no, she, she, she, she. She's always swimming, she's always moving forward. She's on that show Running Point. She just finished season Two last week.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wow.
Macaulay Culkin
And she's. She's got. She's working on two films in January and March and stuff. Like. Yeah, she, she, she books. She likes it. She likes to pursuit. I don't really like the pursuit. I like the work itself. She likes the whole package. She loves auditioning. I freaking hate it. Like, things like that, you know? Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Oh, me too. Oh, she's a bit of a masochist then, huh?
Macaulay Culkin
Yes, yes, indeed. You know, but listen, God bless her, because she, she knew what she wanted out of life and she knew what to pursue, and she pursues it to her fullest, which is very admir, you know, admirable. But, yeah, I, I, you know, for me, I'm kind of just. I, I'm kind of more of a. Like, she's a shark. She has to keep swimming or she drowns. I'm more of a. Kind of a. I'm kind of more of a feeder fish. I kind of of let things sieve through me kind of thing, you know?
Jason Bateman
Yeah, well. But, Macaulay, you sound so. And I don't mean to press you on this. I'm just, I'm purely curious because we come from some similar backgrounds, but I'm so in awe of your contentment. Like, it seems like you, you know, I'll take it if it comes. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not particularly obsessed or drawn to any one particular thing. There's no, there's. In other words, are you. Do you have anything. I've got to get this done before I die.
Macaulay Culkin
Not necessarily. I mean, at least when it comes to, like, my work and things like that, it's like, you know, gosh, I mean, you know, I practically just sometimes I used to do, like, general meetings, like, for a living kind of thing. You know, they want. They want a silver bullet idea. You know what I mean? They want, oh, like, they want me to walk in, they go, I want to play a doctor, but a kooky one, you know, I want to play a quarterback. You know, I don't really have that. I let things kind of come to me. It's the, the old, you know, know, was the, the case before the Supreme Court, they were like, they tried to define what pornography was. And pornography, the definition of it according to the Supreme Court is I know it when I see it. So it's literally what, what, what he said, you know? Yeah, so, So I, I, I'll know it when I see it. I treat, I treat, I treat it like pornography pretty much is What I'm trying to say.
Will Arnett
Sure.
Macaulay Culkin
Right.
Jason Bateman
But. But acting is a thing that, that you're interested in pursuing at this moment.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah. I. Yeah, I'm on the new show Fallout, or, you know, that I'm doing season two of that. That earlier in the year and stuff. But, like. Yeah, like, here's the thing, is that you can't get caught in the rat race. You know, you could win an Oscar, right? And you're backstage and you're doing the press conference and you're holding your trophy. You're the top of your game, and you know what they ask you, what are you doing next? As if it's not good enough, you know? And I don't buy into that.
Jason Bateman
Think about all the people that have won Oscars, even been nominated, and there's just nothing that comes afterwards. It's like, that is not. That's not the thing. It's so. And that's. That's why I'm asking. It's like you couldn't. You couldn't ever be more famous than you are now. And so it's clearly not fame or money that you're. Is it. Are you interested in literally just playing different people? Like, the whole literal thing that an actor does? Is that interesting to you? Like, are you fascinated by different kinds of people?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah, no, I like. I like the adventure of crawling into different shoes and things like that. And, you know, it's something that's kind of like, just. It comes pretty naturally to me and so forth. I mean, I've had a director, he was like, how could you? He goes, are you doing that on purpose? I'm like, what? He goes, you walk different when I call action. And they're like, no, I. I just do it like, you know what I mean? I don't practice it in the mirror and stuff like that. I kind of, like, just kind of wrapping myself up in some of these things and kind of just not. Not thinking. Make it reflexive, you know?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I. I looked on your Instagram. I saw that you were in Vegas. Do you like Las Vegas? I love the Vegas.
Macaulay Culkin
Love the Vegas. I know. I. I did convince Brenda. She was like, ah, I don't like gambling and stuff. I go, no, no, the food's great and, you know, the shows are cool and stuff. And now I got her at the tables, though. Now. Now she. Now she's a blackjack player, you know?
Jason Bateman
Is that your game?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, yeah. Play blackjack. You know, sometimes I'll throw a little on a roulette. And so forth, you know? Yeah, but I don't. I don't play craps. God doesn't play dice, you know? Yeah.
Will Arnett
So neither do I. Sean, Sean, if you. I've been to Vegas with Sean before. If. If you didn't. If you didn't pull him away from the tip, like, if Sean happened to be there for a week, he'd lose it all. It's unbelievable.
Sean Hayes
It's all true.
Will Arnett
But no Black Jack. It's unreal. I saw him once splitting, splitting asis, blah, blah, blah. And at one point he had. I don't even want to say it was obscene. He just come in. Yeah, Double down, double down, double split, double. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Yeah. Well, when you had a few, you just kind of make bad decisions.
Macaulay Culkin
But wait, I don't drink when I gamble. That's the trick.
Jason Bateman
I don't think you can win unless you're drunk. That was my problem.
Sean Hayes
But, but, but I. It's. I do the roulette a lot and I almost always win because I just almost bet on every night.
Macaulay Culkin
You know what I mean?
Jason Bateman
They look for folks like you, you know? We'll be right back.
Sean Hayes
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Jason Bateman
What about the sphere? Have you been in the sphere yet?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, we saw Backstreet Boys there. My, my lady was living her best life. She actually, like, dressed like, she really dressed the part. She looked like a mom that was a big fan of Back Street Boys. I mean, she was wearing all white with a bandana. She, she bedazzled her own shirt for it and stuff. Honestly, it was, it was freaking amazing. Like, you know. Yeah, I was, you know, I, I was never a Backstreet Boys guy, stuff like that, but man, it was, it was actually really great. We got to meet the boys and they were, they were super sweet. You know, I think she wants to go back of the year. I think they're doing a Christmas, like residency too.
Jason Bateman
Guns to your head, Mac. You got to pick one. One of the boys is your favorite.
Will Arnett
Oh, my God.
Macaulay Culkin
Who? Oh, who?
Will Arnett
Well, what's the scenario where there's a gun to his head? Choose one now.
Macaulay Culkin
Yes. Kevin. Kevin. But he's a fox. Kevin is a fox. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yes, he is.
Will Arnett
He was the fox. Kevin. Speaking of Kevin, I'm going to drag it back to Kevin.
Sean Hayes
Nice.
Will Arnett
Yeah. Do you know, know, do you know the story that there is a. Of a, A footballer? This is a, this is a long tie in a footballer who plays professional soccer in Belgium. I believe he plays for Union. There's a professional footballer called Alexis Mallister. He's a midfielder for Liverpool. I love him. He won the World cup with Argentina. He's incredible. His family is of Irish descent, but they grew up it's like his great grandparents moved to Argentina. His brother Kevin plays professional as well in Belgium and he found out he was 18 that he was named after your character from no way Is that true.
Sean Hayes
His name's Kevin McAllister.
Will Arnett
And his name's Kevin McAllister and his brother plays for Liverpool.
Sean Hayes
He's a. I should get his jersey.
Macaulay Culkin
And I should sign it, get. Send it back to him.
Will Arnett
Absolutely useful.
Macaulay Culkin
I got to look this up. Yeah, yeah.
Will Arnett
And I remember watching because they played Champions League last year randomly Liverpool and the brothers played each other and the commentator goes, did you know that he found out when he was 18?
Sean Hayes
Was that. Was there a time in Colle when. Because I've asked this before and it's happened to me probably all of us when you're so identified with somebody like I was with Will and Grace and you with Kevin McAllister where you fought the attention it brought you for so many years and then something clicked. You're like, you know what? I need to embrace this thing. And like it kind of made me who I am. Was there a moment like that? Do you remember?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, I mean it was definitely burdensome for sure. And yeah, you know, the trick is just relax, set up your own ground rules, things like that. You know, realizing that I'm in charge of the social interaction, you know, like usually when people meet a celebrity, they go, I'm gonna be cool. And then they meet and they just, they turn into something else, you know.
Sean Hayes
Right.
Macaulay Culkin
And so it's like, it's kind of, you know, it's like, oh, I, I'm. I'm in charge. I can guide this interaction. And also I know, I know all kinds of shortcuts and stuff like that. Like, you know, just if you want to end it, you just go, nice to meet you or you know. Yeah. Or have a great day or something like that, you know. And a lot of times they walk away before they even realize that you. Interactions over with and like oh man, I didn't get that photo. Like, yeah, you sure didn't. Bye.
Will Arnett
But when you were, when you were a. How old were you did the first Home Alone?
Macaulay Culkin
I was nine when I did that.
Will Arnett
Nine. So you're nine, you do that movie and you're still, I guess living at home in New York. Right. On. On.
Macaulay Culkin
It's the 35 year anniversary of it actually. We're doing the, the Academy Museum later this month. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wow, that's cool.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah.
Will Arnett
So you're nine years old, you're, you're super famous and you're still living at home with your. Your parents and your siblings and everything, I. I imagine in New York and. But. But you're the most famous person on the planet, walking down the same street. It must have been. That must have been an adjustment.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, it was. It was a lot. I was in, like, in an old Irish neighborhood and stuff like that, you know, and, you know, I'm the. You know, I'm. I'm. I'm an actor. I'm a ballet dancer. I'm all these things. So they're like, hey, what the. What the. Is this? You know, like, that kind of thing? There was a little bit of that, you know, but there was also. Yeah, but. Yeah, no, it was strange. There. There was some whiplash. I was. I was shooting my. My Girl in Orlando when the first Home Alone came out, and, you know, like, yeah, I was kind of an actor, yada, yada, yada, but it wasn't a big deal. And then that movie came out, and then I just remember the old neighborhood kids, like, just in that little community I was living, were now peeking through my window. I was like, wait, I know you. You're. You're Jimmy. Jim. Jim over there, you know?
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
And it's like, no, you. All of a sudden, it's like, oh, I'm different. I'm not one of them anymore. It was like that, you know. So, yeah, there was kind of an adjustment period there where, you know, and I kind of maneuver those waters as best I could. Really, you know, I really wasn't given a lot of tools, so it's kind of just. Yeah, I kind of just had to embrace it, but for me, it. Everything made sense. You know, you're on a hero's journey, you know, I mean, oh, you do a little black box theater, you do smaller movies, you do bigger movies, and then you're a huge fat superstar. That makes sense. That's the hero's journey. And it's not until you have perspective or go, oh, this is quite abnormal, actually. Like, you know, there's a lot of people who are hacking away at it, and they don't. They don't get there, you know? Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Talk a little bit more about that. Sort of the dichotomy of you are embraced and a part of such a huge global community. You're one of. All of. The whole world wants to talk to you, but then you have, like, that moment with your immediate group, your friends down the block, and there's kind of this thing that eats at you that you're really not one of them. Like, they talk to you and about you a little bit differently. Like when you go back to your regular school or whatever. I remember feeling so lonely and disconnected with that. Such that. Know when I had the time and the money to do it, I, I, like, I. I overcompensated for trying to get back into that community and just partied like crazy and tried to, like, you know, be one of the guys. Did you go through any of that yourself?
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, yeah, yeah. I definitely did plenty of partying and so forth. You know, I mean.
Jason Bateman
But in pursuit of that, to, to try to get back and just be one of the guys.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. No, it's. That was. I. I had a yearning, like I said, I wanted to go to school. You know, I, it was mostly for social reasons. I wanted to hang out with people my own age. That was a big thing for me.
Sean Hayes
Right.
Macaulay Culkin
And so I definitely wanted that. But, you know, but it's, you know, it's interesting. It's like, you know how everyone. You're told when you're younger, everyone's a delicate snowflake, you know, everyone's different and stuff like that. I truly felt different, you know, I mean, like.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
And rather than looking at. As a burden, it was kind of like, no, I'm a unicorn, you know. Yeah. I'm some kind of mythical creature. I'm. I am different. And I kind. I kind of enjoyed that as well. But at the same time, again, you are kind of alone on an island. You know, you are, you know, again, a peerless person. You know, someone who's an accountant can turn left and right and there's other accountants in the office kind of thing. Like, I don't get to have that.
Will Arnett
But also, like, not only that, and then, and then there also there is the, you know, the sort of. The commerce of it. Did you appreciate your 910? You're making the deal for the next one. I remember, like, that stuff's like published in the paper about how big it's going to be and all that kind of stuff. Did you. How do you. How do you sort of absorb that kind of information when you're 9, 10, 11 years old?
Macaulay Culkin
I knew I was making some bank. I knew that, but I didn't, you know, you know, you're nine, ten, you're.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
You're not.
Macaulay Culkin
I'm not reading. I'm not reading Entertainment Weekly, you know, like, you know, I'm watching the new X Men cartoon. You know, that's what I'm doing, you know.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, right, right.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. Trying to find some, you know, normality, you know, in my life and stuff like that. So I didn't really keep track of it. I was kind of. Also, I didn't like, you know, I wasn't told how much I was being paid either. You know, I called it the tiny slip of paper kind of meeting. I turned 18, and I go to my business manager's office, and, you know, boom. He has my. All my financials, and he just slides it across the table, and it's like, okay, this is what you got. And I. I had a sense of how much it was, and it was about, you know, it was about. Right. And so. Yeah. And also, I'm just very fortunate because a lot of people, you know, a lot of kids, they, you know, they work not just in this business, but all around the world. You know, there's, you know, people working in, you know, diamond mines in Africa. You know, there's. There's, you know, this. In the slums of Mumbai. They got nothing show for it. So I'm. I'm. I wake up very blessed every day knowing that, like, yeah, I came out the other end of the spin cycle. So.
Sean Hayes
So. So, like Jason referred to before about. You just seem so chill and together and like, you figured it out for yourself, which is great. Kind of.
Will Arnett
You're in pajamas, for Christ's sake.
Sean Hayes
I know, right?
Macaulay Culkin
Exactly. Yeah. I'm on the clock, you know.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. So what. So what's your. What do you worry about? What's the thing that you worry about?
Macaulay Culkin
No, you know, I mean, standard stuff. Want to make sure, you know, I raise my board boys right. You know, make sure the lady is like, you know, happy that, you know, that, you know, our cups are full, you know, that it's. That kind of thing.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
And.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, no, it's. It's standard kind of stuff because, again, if I never work again, I'm totally fine when it comes to acting or anything like that. Like, you know, like I said, every job's my last job. I'm in a constant state of retirement until I'm not, you know, then I retire again. So, yeah, I don't. I don't. Look. My trick is I don't look for satisfaction over there. I turn inward when it comes to stuff. You know, both me and. And my family, you know, what do.
Jason Bateman
You do to give, to alleviate the stress? Do you. Do you have. Do you have a. Do you have a hobby that's. That brings you great pleasure that people would be surprised about?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. You know, who will you'll like this. I'm a big LEGO guy.
Jason Bateman
Really?
Macaulay Culkin
Yes, I build a lot of Legos. I probably in the last, I probably built about 30 sets in the last like 40 days looking. Yeah, yeah.
Will Arnett
You know, Lego has, I will say, does have real sort of.
Jason Bateman
Soothing, calming.
Will Arnett
Yeah. There's a restorative quality to it, to the soul.
Macaulay Culkin
You sort things out, you build it piece by piece. You know, you get that release of endorphins when you're done. You know, that sense of accomplishment and so forth.
Will Arnett
It's therapeutic. It can be really therapeutic in a way.
Jason Bateman
Are you at the level now that. And I am not. In fact, I haven't thought about this until just this moment. Or do you, do you go without the book?
Macaulay Culkin
Books? Oh, no, no, I still, I still do the books, but I do the like some of the 10,000 piece sets and stuff like that too. I clocked myself. I do just under 500 pieces an hour I can do, you know. Yeah, like it depends on what kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm pretty, it's second nature at this point. It's, yeah.
Sean Hayes
Like, do you, you, yeah. Do you have like a, you like a, a brainiac in like that way, right?
Macaulay Culkin
Like. No, no, I just felt, you know, I, I, I, I can anticipate. If you do it long enough, you can anticipate what they're going to do next. So when I sort things and so.
Jason Bateman
Forth, I want you to try one without the books. One of these.
Macaulay Culkin
That'll be interesting. See what it looks like, you know, because of that.
Sean Hayes
Do you have like OCD because you like to make things like complete like that?
Macaulay Culkin
No, not necessarily. Like, you know, it keeps my, it keeps my mind and my hands busy, you know. And, yeah, and also it's, it's decorative and so forth. I love like I'll build like an Avengers set and then my 3 and 4 year old just tear it absolutely apart. But it's like that's, but also that's what it's. Honestly, I kind of like that, you know, was like the Chinese like, like vases or whatever they build up and they smash them and then put them back together. And that's kind of, you know, that's the beauty of it.
Jason Bateman
Do you get annoyed when your boys try to help?
Macaulay Culkin
No, not at all, no. If anything like they're on like the Duplo stuff, so it's all the oversized things. But I'm really looking forward to building like, you know, some, some proper sets with them and they have helped Me, I'm like, oh, give me that red one, please. And like, you know, so they're going to super be into it. They love it. I always get them little Lego men and things like that, those mystery boxes and all that stuff.
Will Arnett
They're, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I, I have, I have deep, deep connections with the folks over in Denmark with the LEGO company. I'm going to get you in touch with them. I think that you need to do like a signature build, like design a build for the world. The Macaulay Culkins.
Macaulay Culkin
Open up that gateway for me. Yeah, for sure. You know, we were just on, on Fridays and Saturdays, on non school nights, we do slumber parties in Mama Pop Papa's bed. And like clockwork, it's, they like the Lego Movie, but also they're super into Lego Batman. They're super into it. My, my oldest dressed as Batman this, this Halloween because he's a big fan of Lego Batman, you know.
Sean Hayes
Oh, that's great.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah. And then, yeah, so he was Batman, she was Robin. And I asked him, oh, what do you want me to be? He goes, I want you to be a toilet.
Will Arnett
Wow.
Sean Hayes
Oh, that's right. I saw that. I saw you went as a toilet.
Macaulay Culkin
I was a toilet. Yes.
Sean Hayes
That's hilarious.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, but you know, if your son asks you to be a toilet, you got to be the best thing toilet you can be, you know? Yeah. So that's, yeah, that's hilarious. There we go. See, just, just for context.
Jason Bateman
Very.
Sean Hayes
That's hilarious.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
How did you do that?
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, I just pieced it together with Amazon stuff and everything like that. You know, it's the white crocs really tied the room together. Like Lebowski's rug.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Will Arnett
I think, I think that if you go as a toilet, you hope that everybody around you doesn't give a.
Macaulay Culkin
Well, our, I, I, I would jump out from behind trees going, poo. Listen, I walk by, like, if someone, like there was somebody dressed as a banana, I go, see you later. You know, like, oh, oh, corn. Oh, yeah, I love corn, you know, And I, I had a little bag in my, in my bowl and stuff like that. And they like, oh, I'd be trick or treating and they like, do you want some candy? Go, oh, no, I just eat poo. And then I would have a, a Snickers bar ready. Oh, I love poo. Like, just the kids loved him. I, I, this one kid was following me around the entire time all around the neighborhood, you know?
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
I love the fact he's like, oh, look, it's a walking, talking toilet.
Jason Bateman
Meanwhile, Sean is hiding in his house with the lights off and sign on the front door saying, keep moving.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, that's true. It's so true.
Will Arnett
No, we know. We know. You got a house full of candy even when it's not Halloween, and you.
Sean Hayes
Don'T want to give any of it away.
Macaulay Culkin
Like kid. Like SM or something.
Sean Hayes
Wait, what's a per. Wait, what's. What's the perfect day with you and your family? Just. I know you just said that slumber thing, which is cool, but.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, we do. Slumber party. I really love that. You know, I like taking to. I'm teaching my boys how to be romantic, so I take them to Trader Joe's and pick out flowers so they can give it to grandma and mama and stuff like that. Like, I love doing that kind of stuff, you know, I like teaching them things like, you know. Yeah, it's. It's good. But, man, they're at that age. They're running me ragged. Like, just, you know, just like 40 minutes straight of cardio. Just like. Yeah, playing, playing. He's like, you be the bad guy, I'll be the police, and you be the fireman. Oh. He's like, okay, okay. And it's like, oh, man, I'm just like. I'm literally setting fires, you know, so. So the fireman can put it out, you know? Yeah, like, running me ragged. But they're that. They're that really sweet spot with their. Like, they are little people now. They have opinions. And the way they converse, just being a fly on the wall, it's. It's. It's so cute, you know? Yeah. And I think taught the boys. My youngest, who's three taught. Taught them our real names.
Sean Hayes
Oh.
Macaulay Culkin
So he's like, what. What's your papa's name? He said, Makawi, kid. And it's like, what's your mother? Button dust tong.
Sean Hayes
It's like, I know that's always kind of fascinating when you learn your parents names or. I thought it was mom and dad.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
Well, my oldest. See, my kids, they look at like, sweet life as Zack and Cody. That was the. The show that my lady was on when she was a kid. They watch that and they'll go, oh, that's mama on tv. I show them Hobo Lone. My oldest especially. He thinks he's Kevin McAllister. Like, he doesn't. He doesn't put it. He doesn't put it together that it's me. Like, you know, so he sits there and I'm like, oh, do you remember going down the. The. The stairs on a sleigh? He's like, yep, yep, yep, yep. Do you remember, you know, setting up trash for the bad guys? He's like, yeah, sure do. I'm like, you liar. You lying liar who lies. That was me. Do you like your shoes? That's what paid for your shoes.
Jason Bateman
You know, there's no resemblance between you and the kid in that movie. I love that.
Macaulay Culkin
And one day, waiting for the big reveal where all of a sudden he's just gonna turn to me and go, hey, wait a second. I'm not gonna tell him. I'm sure the kid's gonna spoil the reveal at school or during recess or something like that. But he's gonna turn and go, wait, you've been the whole time? Like, yeah, whole time. But, you know, of all the kids on this planet Earth, they're the closest ones who can actually say, oh, yeah, I'm like that kid from that movie. And it's also watching that movie has taken on an entirely different experience now. Like, you know, before, it was kind of just, oh, it was a movie that I did. Now it's something I show my kids, and it's, you know, it's. It's a different animal now. I appreciate it differently.
Jason Bateman
Well, it's such a classic holiday movie. Do you. Do you. Do they like watching it during the holidays?
Macaulay Culkin
They absolutely love it. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
No, and they still don't know it's you.
Macaulay Culkin
They still don't know it's me.
Sean Hayes
It's crazy.
Macaulay Culkin
Well, I mean, you know, I mean, it has been 35 years.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, no, I know, but I'm just like, that's so wild.
Macaulay Culkin
Yeah, I know. Like I said, it's going to dawn on them. It's going to dawn on them, and it's going to be like. Yeah.
Will Arnett
Like a lot of other parents, I showed my. My kids. They've all seen it a zillion million times. And love.
Macaulay Culkin
They have good taste. Yes.
Will Arnett
Yeah, they've been. It's been. It's been a staple, actually. You know, it's funny. I made a video on. I took a photograph of my son from a few weeks ago, and I put it on an AI app, and I. And I gave the prompt to have somebody hand him a golf club, and then he does a golf. Does a swing. So it did it. These apps are incredible. So he does the golf. His. This AI generated video, and I show it to him, and he's like, yeah, I remember that. And I go, you never did that.
Macaulay Culkin
I did look at.
Will Arnett
Yeah. And I'm like, he's five. And he's like, no, I did that. I'm like, no, you didn't. That's it.
Macaulay Culkin
You know, he said. But I just saw it. I. I. Clearly, it's me.
Will Arnett
Clearly, it's me. Anyway, well, Macaulay Culin, you, First of all, Zootopia 2. You and Jason. Jason's so in love with your character.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God. Incredible work.
Will Arnett
Thanks.
Macaulay Culkin
You too, man. You know.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Macaulay Culkin
Can't. Can't wait to meet you on the carpet and.
Will Arnett
And then the next season of Fallout as well. You can be seen there as well in Mc Collie. Thank you for joining us, man. You're just an absolute legend. Such a joy. Such a joy to have you.
Jason Bateman
Having you, pal.
Will Arnett
Yeah. The great Macaulay Culin. Thank you so much, dude.
Sean Hayes
Thanks for being here.
Macaulay Culkin
Thanks a lot, guys.
Jason Bateman
Bye, buddy.
Sean Hayes
See you later.
Will Arnett
Cheers.
Macaulay Culkin
Bye. Toodles.
Sean Hayes
Fantastic. I love learning.
Will Arnett
Oh, my God.
Sean Hayes
I love learning about the. All that stuff. Like, you want to ask him about the Home Alone, but you're like, can. I shouldn't die. But then you're like, I want to know. So it's pretty. That's so wild. His kids don't know it's him. That is really funny.
Jason Bateman
How nuts is that?
Sean Hayes
They're going to be like, wait a minute. He needs to film that moment when they're like, wait a minute. That's you. But really cool. And I like how you said Jay about how he's kind of just down to earth, figured it out, kind of parented himself through the whole thing and came out great.
Will Arnett
He feels very comfortable with himself. And we're. He's at.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, exactly. And he's got that. He's got that, that. That magic sort of indifference, right? About. About. About work and success and all that stuff.
Macaulay Culkin
That'll pro.
Will Arnett
Magic. Or is it. Or is it sexy?
Jason Bateman
It might be sexy.
Sean Hayes
Could be a little magic.
Jason Bateman
Probably just keep him working the rest of his life because he's just got that, you know, healthy.
Will Arnett
You know, the thing about the sexy indifference is it's kind of naughty.
Sean Hayes
It is kind of naughty.
Jason Bateman
Dirty.
Sean Hayes
Hey, did you know Jesse Eisenberg gave away his Kenny to a stranger? Stranger.
Will Arnett
So where's Taylor? Let's get Taylor and the gals in here. Can we get them in here, by the way?
Sean Hayes
They would love to.
Will Arnett
I mean, we'd love to see.
Jason Bateman
Are they still sleeping?
Sean Hayes
Let me see.
Will Arnett
Oh, yeah. We just go in the intercom. How long does it take to get from one end of your house? To the other a while. Right? You have golf carts. Series of golf carts.
Jason Bateman
Oh, Sean's doing so well.
Will Arnett
I know. He's doing so well.
Sean Hayes
Come on.
Jason Bateman
He's really doing it.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Hey, so sorry about being late again.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Well, listen, Sean, I'm glad. I'm glad you mentioned that. Do you have a second here? Because I'd love to talk to you about it. Things have been a little slow, sloppy, like. Yeah, I think coming out of your. And I'm glad that. I'm glad that the audience is not listening to this because. And. Will, do you want to start?
Will Arnett
Yeah. I just said we. We. Let me read the thing I wrote. Sean, we love you and we feel like we are losing you.
Sean Hayes
It's okay. Oh, wait. They're all coming in. They're all coming in.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God.
Will Arnett
Here we go.
Sean Hayes
One by one. Let's one by one walk here. Yeah.
Will Arnett
Name them off as they go. Sean.
Jason Bateman
Look at. What are you doing? Sean?
Sean Hayes
I know.
Macaulay Culkin
This is. This is what.
Will Arnett
Yeah, we.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, we talked about Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, my God.
Macaulay Culkin
No, he's, like, really nice.
Will Arnett
Who's.
Sean Hayes
Wait, what?
Macaulay Culkin
Give me his kidney. No, stranger.
Will Arnett
I know, I know. We know, we know.
Sean Hayes
And what about. About who doesn't use a phone?
Macaulay Culkin
Ed.
Sean Hayes
Ed Sheeran doesn't use a phone.
Will Arnett
And what do we think of that?
Sean Hayes
He's so out of touch. He's so mysterious.
Jason Bateman
Well, maybe he just needs a Smartless mobile plan.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, maybe he needs a smartless mobile plan. He said, obviously.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Sean, sign them up to Smartless Mobile immediately, would you?
Macaulay Culkin
Can you hear.
Will Arnett
This is not.
Sean Hayes
Elise.
Will Arnett
Elise. Hi, Elise.
Sean Hayes
Say hello.
Macaulay Culkin
Hello. Hi.
Will Arnett
Hi, Elise.
Macaulay Culkin
Oh, my God.
Jason Bateman
No, I can't.
Will Arnett
You know what? Ask them. Ask them to say.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, okay, ready?
Will Arnett
In unison.
Sean Hayes
Okay, ready. Okay, we gotta go now. So, everybody, we're gonna say, 1, 2, 3.
Will Arnett
Bye.
Macaulay Culkin
Bye.
Will Arnett
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Sean Hayes
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Macaulay Culkin
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Sean Hayes
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SMARTLESS | “Macaulay Culkin”
Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett
Aired: December 29, 2025
This episode of "SmartLess" features a candid and often hilarious conversation with Macaulay Culkin, the iconic child actor best known for "Home Alone." The hosts—Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett—delve into Culkin’s journey from early stardom, family dynamics, and his famous hiatus from the business to his measured return to acting, fatherhood, and finding peace outside the spotlight. Along the way, the group explores topics including the challenges of growing up famous, personal contentment, and, of course, nostalgia for childhood pop culture and the holidays.
[02:08-03:00]
[10:09]
[11:14]
[15:27-17:15]
“Was this predetermined or were you…”
“I started out earning everyone else pretty fast.” [16:00]
“Memorize your lines, don’t look in the camera. Find your light, hit your marks…”
[17:36-22:00]
“I was dunskis... I hope you all made your money because there’s no more coming from me. I made my name. I made my mark. I made my fortune.” [19:44]
[25:30-28:13]
“It was just like, oh, I’m on the hamster wheel and I can’t get off. Once I had some autonomy...I grabbed it with both hands.” [26:28]
“I had a pretty acrimonious relationship with my father, famously so. As soon as I was able to kind of push him out, my quality of life… went up.” [27:25]
[30:54-31:32]
“I definitely have to gird myself for outings and so forth... Don’t approach me when I’m at the dinner table. Don’t approach me when I’m with my kids. Definitely don’t follow me to the bathroom. I’m in charge of the social contract.” [31:07]
[31:57-35:55]
“I didn’t want to just jump into studio fare...I wanted something Sundance-y.” [35:22]
“It was nice to try those boots on for size… again having some autonomy.”
[36:46-41:38]
“I’m kind of reinventing the wheel. I didn’t really have good role models. My father was a goddamn piece of work.” [39:04]
“I don’t want the sins of my father being passed on to my kids.” [39:58]
[42:06-43:20]
“I’ll know it when I see it. I treat [work] like pornography... I know it when I see it.”
“You could win an Oscar...and you know what they ask you? ‘What are you doing next?’ As if it’s not good enough, you know? I don’t buy into that.” [43:25]
[44:46-58:29]
“I build a lot of Legos. I probably built about 30 sets in the last 40 days.” [57:33] “You sort things out, you build it piece by piece, you get that release of endorphins when you’re done.” [57:55]
[50:33-54:39 & 63:00-64:39]
“The trick is just relax, set up your own ground rules... Realizing that I’m in charge of the social interaction.” [50:54]
“My oldest… thinks he’s Kevin McAllister. He doesn’t put it together that it’s me.” [63:00] “…One day, it’s going to dawn on them.” [63:41]
[66:06-66:41]
Jason: “He’s got that magic sort of indifference… about work and success and all that stuff.” [66:27] Will: “You know, the thing about the sexy indifference is it’s kind of naughty.” [66:45]
On quitting show business:
"I was dunskis. I made my name. I made my mark. I made my fortune.”
— Macaulay Culkin, [19:44]
On his approach to fame:
"I’m in charge of the social contract. I’m in charge of the interaction."
— Macaulay Culkin, [31:32]
On his children not recognizing him in Home Alone:
“They don’t know it’s me… It’s going to dawn on them, and it’s going to be like — yeah.”
— Macaulay Culkin, [64:21-64:29]
On creative ambition and choices:
"I treat [acting] like pornography. …I’ll know it when I see it."
— Macaulay Culkin, [43:20]
On LEGO therapy:
"You get that release of endorphins when you're done. That sense of accomplishment...I probably built about 30 sets in the last like 40 days."
— Macaulay Culkin, [57:33, 57:55]
Will on child stardom:
"At 14, you’re about as famous a person as there is on the planet."
— Will Arnett, [30:22]
Jason on contentment:
"I'm so in awe of your contentment... not particularly obsessed or drawn to any one particular thing."
— Jason Bateman, [42:06]
As always, the episode is rich with the show’s signature blend of irreverent humor, warmth, and vulnerability—switching from teasing and laughter to genuine, thoughtful dialogue. Macaulay matches the hosts' comedic timing, reveals his personal growth, and warmly shares about his unconventional but happy present.
This freewheeling yet sincere conversation reveals Macaulay Culkin as a grounded, grateful, and introspective adult. He’s forged boundaries, rebuilt his life and family on his own terms, and maintains a healthy detachment from fame and the need for validation. The episode balances nostalgia, laughter, and real insight into growing up famous, the complexities of family, and the search for happiness beyond Hollywood.