Smash Boom Best: Accordions vs. Bagpipes – A Musical Showdown

Episode Release Date: May 1, 2025

Introduction

In this electrifying episode of Smash Boom Best, American Public Media dives into a harmonious yet heated debate between two iconic musical instruments: Accordions and Bagpipes. Hosted by Anna Weigel, filling in for Molly Bloom, the show features Mary Mack—a comedian, voice actor, and writer advocating for the accordion—and Aron Woldeslassi—Brainsound producer and steadfast supporter of the bagpipes. The judge for the evening is Phoenix, a passionate enthusiast from Auckland, New Zealand, known for her love of Dungeons & Dragons, soups, and whistle playing.

Round 1: Declaration of Greatness

The debate kicks off with the Declaration of Greatness, where each side presents their most compelling arguments for why their instrument reigns supreme.

Mary Mack passionately champions the accordion, emphasizing its versatility and global appeal:

"Accordions have some stellar nicknames too, like Button Box, Windjammer, or Stomach Steinway. Makes you smile, doesn't it? ... The accordion is basically a party in a box."
(04:24)

She highlights the accordion's role in various musical genres, from zydeco in Louisiana to French cafe jazz, arguing its universal adaptability and festive nature. Mary humorously contrasts accordions with bagpipes, suggesting that the latter resemble "a giant squid... attacking" and are unsuitable for intimate settings like a Parisian cafe.

"Bagpipes don't look great and they don't sound great."
(06:35)

In response, Aron launches a rebuttal aimed at undermining the accordion's practicality:

"Accordions are super heavy... they're 10 kilos, 20 pounds. Are you playing an instrument or getting a workout?"
(09:36)

Aron criticizes the accordion's weight and dismisses its musical quality, labeling it more as a cumbersome object than a serious instrument.

Round 1 Highlights:

• Mary emphasizes the accordion's joy-bringing versatility and aesthetic appeal.
• Aron counters by questioning the accordion's practicality and musical quality.

Round 2: Micro Round

Next, the Micro Round challenges debaters to envision an international holiday dedicated to their instrument.

Mary Mack introduces Accordion Accords in a whimsical setting:

"I officially declare, according to the Accordion Accords, anytime a single note emanates from a squeeze box, all within earshot shall be in a state of holiday."
(26:36)

She paints a picture of a society celebrating endless dancing and joy, free from work obligations when listening to accordion music.

Aron Woldeslassi presents Interrupting Bagpipes Day:

"The only day of the year when people are encouraged to randomly interrupt each other with bagpipes."
(24:50)

His portrayal involves humorous interruptions and the cultural significance of bagpipes, aiming to showcase their vibrant presence.

Phoenix's Analysis: Phoenix critiques Mary's holiday concept as economically unsustainable:

"Mary's micro round is economically going to destroy itself."
(28:35)

She points out that constant holidays could hinder productivity and the accordion industry.

Round 2 Highlights:

• Mary envisions a utopian accordion-centric society.
• Aron offers a playful yet culturally rich vision for bagpipes.
• Phoenix raises valid economic concerns about Mary's concept.

Round 3: Sneak Attack

The Sneak Attack segment requires debaters to craft original kid-friendly jokes about their instruments.

Mary Mack delivers a series of humor attempts, blending silliness with her stance:

"Why did the big piper have to take lactose pills when he was around the accordion? Cause he's allergic to squeeze."
(31:12)

She further extends her humor with a knock-knock joke, albeit less effectively:

"Knock, knock. Bagpipe. ... I couldn't hear you because that bag piper came in here and ruined the show."
(33:20)

Aron Woldeslassi counters with witty, streamlined jokes:

"In bagpipes walk into a coffee shop. The barista goes, hey, how's your music competition going? To which the bagpipes go? It's in the bag."
(31:34)

His humor highlights the bagpipes' enduring presence and cultural embedding.

Phoenix appreciates the humor, noting particularly Aron's concise and relatable jokes:

"Oh, I liked that a lot."
(31:45)

Round 3 Highlights:

• Mary employs elaborate humor, blending jokes with character play.
• Aron delivers succinct and culturally resonant jokes.
• Phoenix favors Aron's approach for its clarity and relatability.

Round 4: Final Six

In the Final Six, each debater encapsulates their instrument's essence in just six words.

Aron Woldeslassi succinctly captures the bagpipes' impact:

"Bagpipes. We'll blow you away, friend."
(35:41)

Mary Mack counters with a heartfelt statement:

"Accordions promote joy and world peace."
(35:57)

Phoenix deliberates her decision, ultimately awarding the win to the bagpipes based on their compelling portrayal and emotional resonance.

Final Six Highlights:

• Aron's phrase emphasizes the bagpipes' powerful and captivating nature.
• Mary's phrase highlights the accordion's ability to bring joy and foster unity.

Conclusion and Decision

After a spirited exchange across all rounds, Phoenix tallies the points, balancing Mary's vibrant declarations with Aron's sharp rebuttals and humorous contributions. Ultimately, she crowns the Bagpipes as the winner of this musical debate battle.

Phoenix's Final Remarks:

"Mary won the declaration of greatness. Aron won the rebuttal. Aron won the second round. Mary won the third round. So it was the last round, and I thought that the pun was better than the world peace."
(36:40)

Both debaters express mutual respect despite the competitive outcome, with Aron praising Mary's engaging presentation and Mary acknowledging Aron's strong arguments.

State of Debate: Logical Fallacies

The episode also featured the State of Debate segment, where Mary Mack and Rudy Piper from the bagpipe side dissected the bandwagon effect—a common logical fallacy. They illustrated how popularity doesn't necessarily equate to quality or preference, using playful scenarios like ice cream flavor preferences:

"Just because most people like vanilla doesn't mean Kim and Miles should give up on all their other ice cream flavors."
(21:33)

This segment reinforced critical thinking among listeners, encouraging them to evaluate arguments beyond their popularity.

Closing Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, it teases upcoming debates and encourages listener participation. Eli's vote for the Eevee vs. Pikachu debate adds an interactive element, fostering community engagement.

Final Farewell:

"Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brainson and APM Studios... We'll be back with a new smashboom Best debate battle next week. Jellybeans versus Beans."
(38:22)

Listeners are invited to continue supporting public media and engage with future debates, ensuring the lively spirit of Smash Boom Best endures.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Mary Mack - "Accordions are basically a party in a box." (04:24)
• Aron Woldeslassi - "Bagpipes inspire deep appreciation all over the world, but especially in Scotland." (13:26)
• Phoenix - "Mary's micro round is economically going to destroy itself." (28:35)
• Mary Mack - "Accordions promote joy and world peace." (35:57)
• Aron Woldeslassi - "Bagpipes. We'll blow you away, friend." (35:41)

Final Result: Bagpipes Crowned as the Smash Boom Best

This episode not only showcased the vibrant debate between accordions and bagpipes but also entertained with humor, cultural insights, and critical thinking prompts. Whether you're a music aficionado or a casual listener, Smash Boom Best offers a harmonious blend of facts and fun, making debate a true blast for all ages.