#108 - These Monologues Are For Teens w/ Vic Michaelis

Summary

Smosh Mouth #108 – These Monologues Are For Teens w/ Vic Michaelis

Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Shane Topp, Angela Giratana
Guest: Vic Michaelis

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Overview

This episode is a comedic and heartfelt exploration of youth theater culture, the bizarre world of teen monologue books, and the joys (and cringe) of acting advice gleaned from childhood journals. With guest Vic Michaelis, the crew revisits memories of auditioning, acting classes, and the strange materials written expressly for kids—while delivering their own outrageous dramatic performances.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Theater, Acting, and ‘Rancho Cucamonga’

• The hosts joke about Smosh’s fictional HQ in “Rancho Cucamonga,” riffing on LA/Hollywood culture.
• Conversation touches on escaping LA for smaller towns—the fantasy of starting a local theater company or teaching acting elsewhere.
  • Quote:
    “What if I started a little, tiny, tiny little theater here? ... Would it be able to do well?” — Shane (05:17)

2. Youth Theater Stories: Directors with Colorful Names

• All recall youth theater teachers with eccentric names and personalities, like “Ms. Sapphire Love.”
• Angela shares stories about Canadian community theater and directors who’d radically adapt shows for young casts (e.g., doing a nude scene from Hair as “letters in character and a stomp number”). [10:05]

3. The Absurdity—and Sincerity—of Acting Advice

• Angela brings in a well-worn theater journal from their youth. The group reads advice aloud, finding genuine value and unintentional comedy.
  • Quotes:
    “Drink your words in.” — Angela's journal (18:15)
    “If you don’t have an opinion, you aren’t doing your work.” — Angela’s journal (18:26)
• The trio muses on how formative and over-the-top such advice can be for teens.

4. Angela's Secret Martial Arts Past

• Angela reveals her background in Taekwondo and self-defense instruction, describing the discipline and culture of martial arts—connecting it to the obsessive teenage mentality in acting. [22:48-26:34]
• Delivers a brief primer on self-defense (“hammer fist” technique).
  • Quote:
    “This is the strongest part of your hand... you want to make it as tight as you can, your hand isn’t going to hurt as badly and it’s going to pack a lot more of a punch.” — Angela (27:17)

5. Monologue Books: A Teen Acting Rite of Passage

• Vic and Angela reminisce about monologue books: pre-written, often melodramatic scripts for young actors’ auditions. These books are both a hilarious and sometimes poignant window into adolescent theater.
  • Quote:
    “Growing up in theater... there were monologues written for kids to perform. At the time, I treated them very intensely. But now I have all these books of these insanely funny monologues.” — Vic (14:07)
• The group reads and performs several monologue samples—ranging from the comedic (“Dinosaurs in Eden”) to the surprisingly dark (topics like loss and even domestic violence aimed at kids aged 10–12).

6. Live Monologue Readings & Improv Auditions

Key segments and timestamps:

• [33:17] Shane performs “Dinosaurs in Eden” (9-12): A kid questions why there were no dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden, musing about biblical timelines and electric fences.
  • “If the Bible is right, then there should be velociraptors in the Garden of Eden … Surely you’d want to build some kind of home defense system with electric fences and guardrails.” — Shane as Terry (33:17)
• [38:08] Angela reads “Vacation Camping”—the Lumpy Ground Monologue: A child laments the misery of outdoor camping and eating 1,000 bugs.
• [50:04] Shane cold-reads “Lewis: The Hot Dog Kid” (7-10): A child with a singular obsession and hints of family troubles.
  • “I only eat hot dogs. You don’t have hot dogs... My little sister, she’s worse. She only eats chicken soup. She sticks her pigtails in the soup and sucks it up together.” — Shane as Lewis (50:14)
• [54:07] Vic gives an intense, horror-movie version of “Lewis”: Subtle family trauma and two snakes at home loom in the subtext.

7. On Crying for Camera (and the Absurd Pressure on Child Actors)

• Shane and Vic reflect on pressures for child actors to “cry on command”—with sometimes unhealthy or unteachable techniques.
  • “It was like, you gotta be able to cry on command... all you’re focused on... you kind of don’t act well.” — Shane (42:06)
• The crew agrees all child roles should be animated—less trauma for kids, more consistency for films/shows.
  • “Hot take: I don’t think we should ever have [kid actors] anymore. I think they should be animated.” — Vic (45:10)

8. Monologue Book Tropes: The Darkness and the Earnestness

• Discussion of the surprising “maturity mismatch” in school monologue books. Some are inappropriately dark for young readers.
  • [57:11] 10–12-year-old monologue: “discussion of domestic violence.”
• The group mocks breakdowns and casting calls for being absurdly detailed or inappropriate.

9. Playful Creation: Inventing Becky

• Vic presents an over-the-top breakdown for “Becky, 18–19”—adventurous, black sheep, left-handed, “sturdy actor, must have comedy chops, kind, smokes 15 cigarettes a day, but feeds her mom.”
• Angela reads Becky’s monologue, comically ambiguous:
  • “They say a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes I think I’m not even hitting that... Let’s feed mom.” — Angela as Becky (69:09)
• The team jokes about staging this play (“full Becky, full set, pit orchestra!”) and asks for fan art.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Drink your words in.” – Angela’s acting journal (18:15)
• “If you don’t have an opinion, you aren’t doing your work.” – Angela’s acting journal (18:26)
• “That's a monologue from God's Not Dead.” – Angela, roasting a melodramatic monologue (34:36)
• “All kid actors should be animated.” – Vic (45:10)
• “I love that monologue, I think I might pull out... They're gonna send me sides and I'm gonna say, I’ll do you one better.” – Angela (65:46)

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Recurring Jokes & Callbacks

• Obsessive joking about “Rancho Cucamonga” as Smosh HQ and a mythical theater town.
• Return to acting advice (“Serve. Hit. Spike.” “Drink your words in.”)
• Failed attempts at crying on command.
• Parodying casting breakdowns for comedic effect.
• Angela’s running bit about “feeding mom” in the Becky monologue.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:05 Shane’s origin story in child acting & thoughts on leaving LA
• 10:05 Adapting “Hair” and cutting nudity with “letters and stomp”
• 18:15 Reading earnest advice from childhood acting journals
• 22:48 Angela’s martial arts history & self-defense tips
• 33:17 Shane’s “Dinosaurs in Eden” monologue
• 38:08 Angela’s lumpy ground/bad camping monologue
• 50:04 Shane's emotional “hot dog kid” performance
• 54:07 Vic’s horror-movie take on the “hot dog” monologue
• 58:22 Angela’s (fake) audition reading, which is actually a real review of Vic
• 69:09 Reading “Becky”—incomprehensibly layered character breakdown
• 71:58 Vic’s call to action for supporting LGBTQ+ youth organizations

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Final Notes

The episode delivers a loving and laugh-out-loud skewering of teen theater tropes and the weird subculture of monologue books, shot through with personal stories and improvised performances. Anyone who grew up in/around drama club or children’s theater will find both sharp nostalgia and pointed parody—plus genuine acting tips and industry critique.

Memorable closing:

• Vic’s “monologue that matters”: a call for supporting LGBTQ+ youth organizations like Zebra Youth (Orlando), Lost and Found Youth (Atlanta), or finding local efforts. (71:58)
• Angela: “I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.” (72:31)

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a perfect mix of sketch and sincerity: delightfully silly for acting/theater nerds, packed with meta bits, and anchored by the real camaraderie between performers. If you’re ever nostalgic for that theater-kid chaos—or need a masterclass in monologue overacting—listen (or just imagine) these three book out some Disney-adjacent community theater, “feed mom,” and serve, hit, spike their way through the quirks of growing up on stage.

Transcript

[Angela Giratana]

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[Shane]

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[Angela Giratana]

Not a rewards member.

[Shane]

Sign up for free today, but hurry. Labor Day doorbuster deals won't last long. Lowe's we help you Save valid through 9.1While supplies last.

[Angela Giratana]

Program subject to terms and conditions.

[Shane]

[e-mail] Terms subject to change.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm gonna try to stay on fleek organically. And don't laugh, guys, okay? It's gonna be somewhere in the next hour, okay?

[Angela Giratana]

Save it for the monologue. Okay? Be serious. Be serious, guys.

[Shane]

Hi. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I'm Angela. And I'm still getting used to this.

[Shane]

And introdu.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, thank you. And with us today, one of my favorite people in the world, Vic Michaelis.

[Angela Giratana]

Bring your son to work day.

[Vic Michaelis]

Let's bring your son to work day.

[Angela Giratana]

I've been getting shown around the office. Angela, let me have a piece of chocolate. I'm feeling.

[Shane]

We. Whenever we bring a guest and we give them some chocolate.

[Angela Giratana]

One little piece.

[Shane]

Well, actually, as you come closer to the Smosh headquarters here in Rancho Cucamonga, there are little trails of chocolate leading up to the front door.

[Angela Giratana]

Thank you for the shuttle bus out here.

[Shane]

No problem. It's a long drive.

[Angela Giratana]

Wouldn't give me the address. And so an undisclosed location to a shuttle bus out to Rancho Cucamonga, which I was not anticipating.

[Vic Michaelis]

We've started saying that we are there, and I think it's now canon for fans to think we're there. But we're.

[Shane]

We'll move there.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. One day we'll go to Rancho Cucamong. Rancho Cucamonga?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, Rancho Cucamonga.

[Shane]

Rancho Cucamonga.

[Vic Michaelis]

Rancho space. Cucamo space.

[Shane]

No, Cucamonga.

[Angela Giratana]

Cucamonga is one word.

[Vic Michaelis]

Cucamonga.

[Shane]

Cucamonga.

[Vic Michaelis]

Why did I think it was Rancho Cucamongo?

[Shane]

I don't know. It makes sense. It's fine.

[Angela Giratana]

No, let's dive into it.

[Vic Michaelis]

Today. We're talking about why we think weird things.

[Shane]

We're talking about weird stuff. We have Vic Michaelis here.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is so fun.

[Shane]

Actually, we're going to, at some point, like, test our acting chops today. Yeah, We've got some monologues.

[Vic Michaelis]

We've got three actors here.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm so excited.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Genuinely. When I heard that this was a monologue episode, I. Because I am a little bit of a theater head. A little bit of a theater. Did you go to acting school?

[Shane]

I took a lot of acting classes. I never went to acting school and I actually don't have much theater experience.

[Angela Giratana]

Really?

[Vic Michaelis]

Nickelodeon?

[Shane]

No, because our fans have heard this so many times. But I. I started acting in, like, fifth grade and I did like one community theater play. And then from there I started taking an acting class.

[Angela Giratana]

Which play?

[Shane]

Best Christmas Pageant ever or one straight play? No, straight play. And then I got into an acting class. And from there, like, very quickly, they're like, you should get an agent. You should go out for commercials. And then I was just like, you need to go out for pilots.

[Angela Giratana]

Was that out here?

[Shane]

This was in Arizona.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, okay.

[Shane]

And then very quickly from there. So in a couple. Yeah. Not Rancho Cucumber. I've made it to the big leagues now.

[Angela Giratana]

Great.

[Shane]

You know it. You break into Hollywood, but then you gotta break into Rancho Cumanga for sure.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I know a lot of people in Hollywood that have a house in la. A house in Rancho.

[Shane]

People think Hidden Hills is hard to get into. Rancho Cucamonga, that's the. That's the sealed community.

[Angela Giratana]

What this is reminding me of, which is actually like kind of a funny. Not like funny haha, more like funny sad, but kind of funny haha. Is in Canada, a lot of people would go to work in the tar sands, which is in Alberta.

[Shane]

That sounds like it's from Dune.

[Vic Michaelis]

So they go to the sand.

[Angela Giratana]

You get sent to the tar sands. No, but the tar sands are like. It's like one of the, like, I don't know, people are like, natural gas, oil. I think there's a difference. I don't know. And I don't know which one it is. So I'm not gonna speak to the specifics of it at all.

[Shane]

Fair.

[Angela Giratana]

But there's like. It's like a really hard job and you're like, on and off, but you make a. It's like. It's, you know, kind of evil. But you make a shit ton of money doing it. And you can make a shit Ton of money. Doing it with, like, no job experience, no educational experience, anything. So there was a ton of people that would go out there, but because of how much money everybody was making, in order to, like, share, like, an Airstream trailer with somebody, it was like, double the price of anything that you would pay in LA for rent. That is what's happening to Rancho Cucamonga right now. Smosh moved in. It's like when Snapchat moved to Venice.

[Shane]

My God.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wow. Like, an Airstream was, like, double the price.

[Angela Giratana]

Like, it just was, like, absurd.

[Shane]

No. I thought you were going to tie this in with theater and that. It's like, because there's all these people.

[Angela Giratana]

Well, they're doing constantly.

[Shane]

They built a little tiny theater there because everybody's bored out of their mind. And that's Dune, and so they're doing Shakespeare.

[Angela Giratana]

We should write this pilot. That's the community, the theater organization that's decided to go to this, like, small town where everybody's got, like, oil money and is like, it's the actors of that town.

[Shane]

I. This is a thought I have sometimes, right? Of just like. Of like, what if I moved and I moved away from LA and I moved to some random part of nowhere in, like, the mountains, and I was like, I found a mountain town. I'm just like, well, they. People need entertainment. What if I started a little, tiny, tiny little theater here? I was like, would it be able to do well? Because that's like, farm. Because there's nothing else to do.

[Angela Giratana]

That's like, literally, like, you know, like.

[Shane]

I don't know. I always.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm so sure you rely on your talent. I know theoretically, it's like, the one actor in town. Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

You'd have to do stand up.

[Shane]

I would call the theater the village idiot and hope that, like, one guy. One guy does. It's like every month, it's like, he wrote a new one. We'll see how it goes.

[Vic Michaelis]

You see, he's trying.

[Angela Giratana]

Even in your fantasy, people are done. They're fed up with it.

[Shane]

Even when I'm manifesting, like, my brain's like, let's tone it down a bit.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, my God. I actually, when I think about, like, if I were to move, because I think that's a thing a lot of actors think we dream about, go somewhere else and not. And do, like. Like, not the Hustle and just, like, do something. I always think I would just, like, move to a mountain or something. But then teach kids and do, like.

[Shane]

Like direct, like, beauty and acting teacher is probably what makes the Most sense.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm never thinking about it as a one man band.

[Angela Giratana]

You one time like seven years ago at an after party where like I think every day about leaving town and going to do Shakespeare somewhere at like a small theater.

[Shane]

A lot of people fantasize about leaving LA and doing that. Yeah, you'd be a great, like, I. I think you would be a great acting teacher.

[Vic Michaelis]

I will never forget Miss what's her name? Also Miss Also taught Sam Lerner.

[Shane]

Makes sense.

[Vic Michaelis]

Deep cut. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Love that.

[Shane]

Okay, that's good.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm like getting too. I'm like, I forgot. I'm forgetting we're doing a podcast and I'm just like talking about our friends.

[Angela Giratana]

That's fine.

[Vic Michaelis]

Which is. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

So my Sam, somebody that I know.

[Shane]

Sam Lerner is a good friend of ours. I worked with him for many years on a, on a show and is Olivia's partner.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, fantastic. Oh, yes.

[Shane]

Very tied in.

[Angela Giratana]

This is why I know the name did Drop. Yes. Did Drop. Okay, fantastic.

[Shane]

Drop.

[Vic Michaelis]

Dropped Drop.

[Angela Giratana]

Your close friend did Drop.

[Shane]

Oh, oh, Drop. I thought you were thinking like, I thought I was like, is this what people refer to as Dropout? Like when you're in Dropout, you're like, oh, yeah. Over at Drop.

[Angela Giratana]

Doing the Drop.

[Shane]

Yeah, you know, I'm doing Dropout.

[Vic Michaelis]

If you guys dropped out, it would be so weird.

[Angela Giratana]

Drip, drop, that kind of fun job.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, so wait, so why am I saying this?

[Angela Giratana]

Hop, skip, jump.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, yes, Ms. Laughing. Okay, so Ms. I think about Ms. Laughing a lot when I'm a little sad. And I like just wish I could relax more. And Ms. Would like direct these productions and just, she would direct from just seated. Would never get up. She'd go, do this, do this, do this, do this. And it was kind of like she was playing with Barbies and the Barbies were middle schoolers and she would always have so much el pollo loco. And we just sit there and I dream of that.

[Shane]

I'm like, she has so many. Four Locos.

[Vic Michaelis]

She had four Locos.

[Angela Giratana]

Beers everywhere.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then she got a divorce. I will never forget this. And then she changed her name. And then one day she comes in, she goes, I'm not missing. I'm Ms. Sapphire Love.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Vic Michaelis]

And we went, got it.

[Shane]

That's fucking killer. So Ms. Sapphire Love, was that her maiden name?

[Vic Michaelis]

She made that up.

[Shane]

Her maid up name Maiden.

[Vic Michaelis]

A made up name. Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

And.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I think of the freeness of Miss Sapphire Love.

[Shane]

This is Sapphire Love.

[Vic Michaelis]

And she'd go hardcore. She'd be like, we're doing Beauty and the Beast. Yeah. She go, we're doing Beauty and the Beast, but we're going to do. Be our guest. And we're going to do it, like, three times. Like, she would just make big, big swings.

[Angela Giratana]

And, like, I like, we gotta slow down.

[Shane]

We are, baby.

[Angela Giratana]

We gotta slow down.

[Vic Michaelis]

But, like, isn't that crazy? And I think about her all the time.

[Angela Giratana]

Did she stick with Sapphire Love?

[Vic Michaelis]

I think, yeah. I think she's still teaching.

[Angela Giratana]

I love taking big swings in youth and community theater. Why we. I did a production of Hair where they couldn't do nudity because we were children.

[Vic Michaelis]

So what'd you guys. So, first of all, I can't situate his grace.

[Shane]

I think, like, we really understand that being a child actor is insane. Like, these situations you're put into are insane.

[Angela Giratana]

The director's name was Heather, and she literally sat us all in a circle.

[Shane]

One time and went, Heather Ruby. Passion.

[Angela Giratana]

I think her name, and I'm sorry, BLEEP this if I'm wrong, was Heather Love.

[Vic Michaelis]

Legitimately, the whole fucking way. Every time. Theater teachers.

[Shane]

Yeah. Should we, like, sort of bleep these names? Like you don't care. Care about.

[Angela Giratana]

I think it's.

[Vic Michaelis]

You can BLEEP in, but not Sapphire Love.

[Angela Giratana]

I'll give more information so you can Google her. She was in the. She was in a touring production of Hair. She played Chrissy. Okay. So. So that's why she was.

[Vic Michaelis]

She was like, let's do Hair.

[Angela Giratana]

She's had us all in a circle. Me and my friend Heath talk about this constantly. Sat. We sat in a circle and she was like, there's. There's never been a more timely for this production because of the Iraq war happening.

[Shane]

Yeah, dude, that's the.

[Angela Giratana]

It was 2012. We're like, everyone okay? She goes, we can't do the nudity. We can't do the nudity. So what we're gonna do is we're cutting some of the songs and we're gonna write letters in character and we're gonna do a stomp number where we sort of like, popcorn, the letters that we wrote. So we did a stomp number.

[Vic Michaelis]

Instead of nudity, we're doing letters.

[Angela Giratana]

We wrote letters in character and then we did a stomp number where we sort of like, there was no set. You just had to popcorn out. Like, part of your letter.

[Vic Michaelis]

It's a similar feeling. It's so funny. Like, oh, they're doing stomp. Oh, her tits are out.

[Angela Giratana]

I'd say it's more vulnerable.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, look at that. Bush. Look at that trash can. Like, okay, I. There's, like, a really famous production of Rent that kids did somewhere, and they replace AIDS with diabetes.

[Angela Giratana]

Was that an SNL sketch?

[Vic Michaelis]

And we can cut that. No, but that's a legit thing that happened.

[Shane]

That is why.

[Vic Michaelis]

So, I mean, these kids, these theater directors are doing whatever they want out there.

[Angela Giratana]

This theater company that I did here was the same theater company that they were so proud in high school. We were the first youth production granted the full adult rights. Adult right to rent.

[Vic Michaelis]

What's going on?

[Shane]

Like, I understand, like, Tyt defunct. There are some plays that I'm like, hey, you know, the material of that really was not designed for. For kids.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, so this brings us back. Okay, hold on. You ready for this?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Watch me do this. I know I'm only on episode two, but I got this. Shane. This episode of Smosh Mouth is brought to you by Rocket Money. Shane, listen, I'm not good with my money, and I need help. My wallet has legs, and she's running away. It's true. It's true.

[Shane]

You're paying for subscriptions that you forgot about 100 apps.

[Vic Michaelis]

All of them. I have so many different subscriptions, and I can't keep track of.

[Shane]

Yeah, you know, to help you with that.

[Vic Michaelis]

Tell me.

[Shane]

Rocket Money.

[Vic Michaelis]

Come on now.

[Shane]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending. It helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. It's been doing that for me for years, man. I've been saving a lot of money.

[Vic Michaelis]

Now, does it do it when those subscriptions increase in price? Like, what if I want to keep my budget the same? But things are changing.

[Shane]

It does a lot for you. So Rocket Money will negotiate lower bills for you, and the app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

So it'll do a lot for you. You don't have to on top of it all the time.

[Vic Michaelis]

And it could help me save. I need that.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, we're all trying to budget.

[Angela Giratana]

Yes.

[Vic Michaelis]

A budget's hard, especially when you just, like, want to take a nap.

[Shane]

Yeah, we're not numbers people. We're creative people.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes.

[Shane]

So we need Rocket Money to do that work for us. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocke.com smoshmouth today that's rocketmoney.com smoshmouth rocketmoney.com smoshmouth back to the show.

[Vic Michaelis]

Back to the show. So that's the thing. A lot of people for sport. I even know Patrick McDonald did this once where they write plays for schools only.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then you put them up on these sites and then you can get paid for them.

[Shane]

That makes sense.

[Angela Giratana]

And.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I think like a lot of plays that are good for schools are like big casts good, like easy subject matters that kids can relate to. But there's a lot of these things that are written for kids. Right. Which is what I wanted to talk about today, which is my favorite thing. I have a bunch of monologue books. And. And you're at home going, what's a monologue book? Right. Okay.

[Shane]

What's a monologue?

[Vic Michaelis]

What's a model? Okay, but you know, monologues. But like growing up in theater and there were like monologues written for kids to perform.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Vic Michaelis]

And they are. At the time I treated them very intensely. But like now I have all these books of these insanely funny monologues that are just like, oh, the bus gotta wait for it again. That somebody somewhere wrote that for 16 year old girls to just like crush. And did I do a good job of bringing us to the topic? Hell yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Can I give it a try? Can I?

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Let's see.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Say something. Say something funny.

[Vic Michaelis]

Community theater is just crazy.

[Angela Giratana]

That's a perfect segue, actually, for me to talk about my favorite things. We're talking about community here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's more of a communal experience than going to the library? You know, into the library.

[Shane]

That's so true.

[Angela Giratana]

Books. I have a bunch of them.

[Vic Michaelis]

No way.

[Angela Giratana]

This is. And I know this is my first time. I know this is my first time doing this. I'm auditioning for the part of co anchor. Co anchor.

[Shane]

And you're doing this. Is this a podcast or a new show?

[Angela Giratana]

Is this live?

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, no, I only have six more episodes.

[Shane]

Can I see them? Can I?

[Angela Giratana]

Of course.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes.

[Shane]

Are you serious? All right. So you guys.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. So honesty.

[Angela Giratana]

Community theater is such a.

[Shane]

Can we just get to the monologues?

[Angela Giratana]

And that's why you're a professional. I didn't know we could cuss. I didn't know that was clicked on.

[Shane]

Damn it.

[Vic Michaelis]

That was so good. I liked that.

[Angela Giratana]

That was powerful.

[Shane]

Thank you. I wonder what that sounds like for our audio only listeners, Me slamming the books on the table. So have you own these since you were a kid.

[Angela Giratana]

Yes.

[Vic Michaelis]

And there's notes in them. You've really.

[Shane]

I'm.

[Vic Michaelis]

You have to be careful.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's got journals in there.

[Angela Giratana]

This is journals.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's got. That's got.

[Shane]

This has Angela on the spine.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. That's all.

[Angela Giratana]

That's.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. That's the model. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

You made this?

[Shane]

Did you make.

[Vic Michaelis]

No, the. I got it, I think, like, from Michael's. And then it kept falling apart, so I added tape. But that's where I would take monologues from books. And then I would write them, handwrite them in that.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Desire.

[Shane]

You could. You could never find this type of journal today.

[Angela Giratana]

Here's what I'm gonna say.

[Shane]

2010 journal, right there.

[Angela Giratana]

I will not read anything from this. Can I just do a look really quick?

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm so scared.

[Angela Giratana]

No. This is an audio medium, so I'm not gonna say anything, and nobody's even gonna see my face.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, yeah, my friend gave me this.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

So I thought at first this was the Dear Evan Hansen type thing where he wrote a letter that said, what are you discovering?

[Vic Michaelis]

My to do list? Which was a playbill.

[Shane]

Oh, you are such a nerd. This is embarrassing. Every aspect of you is theater. There is nothing else. I'm glad you sometimes take a detour to true crime.

[Angela Giratana]

What is this? Is this an IKEA receipt?

[Vic Michaelis]

These are probably notes.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh. Oh, you're totally right. Because the note that I'm seeing. Can I read this one?

[Shane]

I love that you brought this. You brought this onto a podcast without looking through it. That is some bold.

[Vic Michaelis]

At this point, I can do anything in Rancho Cucamongo. I'm like, read. Read through my. Go through my drawers.

[Shane]

I estimate, like, you really shoot from the hip. You're just like, yeah, here's. Here's my deepest, darkest secrets. I haven't checked them out in 10 years.

[Angela Giratana]

I think if we can for a second, go, okay, Haha. We, like, we're. We're jaded, we're cynical. We've been on Nickelodeon.

[Vic Michaelis]

For Haha.

[Angela Giratana]

And we're pulling it back. I think that if we.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is really good.

[Angela Giratana]

This is my hot take is that I think that this is all really good advice. And so I'm gonna read it, and I want us to just open to.

[Vic Michaelis]

A random page in my journal and is gonna read something that I wrote down probably in an acting class.

[Angela Giratana]

This is advice that was absolutely given to you. I'm hoping by Sapphire Love. Sapphire Love.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

So we're gonna. We're gonna literally, we're gonna pull it back and we're gonna be serious about this. Because I do think that this is good advice if we can find it in ourselves to take it.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, ready?

[Shane]

If we have the strength.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, here we go. Drink your words in.

[Vic Michaelis]

Drink your words in.

[Angela Giratana]

Which I do think is good advice.

[Shane]

Drink your words in.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hey, be serious.

[Shane]

No, I'm processing it. I'm processing it. Let me process. Let me drink the words in.

[Angela Giratana]

If you don't have an opinion, you aren't doing your work.

[Vic Michaelis]

Theater school is about, like, building your own.

[Angela Giratana]

You aren't doing your work.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is. I actually can't believe we're doing that.

[Angela Giratana]

Classical text is a game of volleyball. 3. Serve, hit, spike.

[Vic Michaelis]

No, no, no. Not serve, hit, spike.

[Angela Giratana]

Serve, hit, spike. But the ball is gone already.

[Shane]

It's. It's serve, it's hit, it's spike.

[Angela Giratana]

And then you're spiking it. I'm assuming. It's like you're serving it. The ball's coming back to you. You're hitting it, the ball's coming back to you, and then we're smacking it down. I think is good advice. When you're thinking about, like, a scene.

[Shane]

In the far scene, though, is all on one side of the net, though.

[Angela Giratana]

It is. That is correct. This is so sort of. We're throwing away. Acting is reacting, and we're sort of going. We're attacking at all times. And I kind of love that. This one. You. You. You have a bunch of words.

[Shane]

She's mouthing the words.

[Vic Michaelis]

You were mouthing. You were.

[Angela Giratana]

Hey, Shane. Hey, Shane.

[Vic Michaelis]

That means you remember every word.

[Angela Giratana]

Shane, if we could take this a little seriously.

[Shane]

Sorry, I'm taking the word seriously. I was amazed that I was like, you remember? And I don't think she. I don't think she consciously remembers.

[Vic Michaelis]

You are crying, Shane.

[Shane]

I. I think she.

[Vic Michaelis]

I unconsciously did that. And you saw it.

[Shane]

I was amazed. I'm laughing because it's amazing.

[Vic Michaelis]

Listen to this.

[Angela Giratana]

And we'll take a beat and wherever we're ready to get serious. I'll continue reading.

[Shane]

Okay. I'm sorry. I wasn't even hearing what you were saying. Because seeing that was fascinating.

[Angela Giratana]

Of course.

[Shane]

I was like, you probably haven't read this in, like, 10 years.

[Vic Michaelis]

No, but I just thought the fact.

[Shane]

That it came back is shocking.

[Angela Giratana]

You have a bunch of words on the page, and they're going to wait until you enjoy them. What does that mean, on the page? Are you. Hold on. Am I dyslexic? You. I am dyslexic.

[Vic Michaelis]

I am, too, and I probably wrote it wrong.

[Angela Giratana]

So you have a bunch of words on the page. Think about it. They're gonna. They're. Oh, and the word. The words are gonna wait till you enjoy them.

[Vic Michaelis]

You have to.

[Angela Giratana]

They're gonna wait until you.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then. So let's dive in, guys. Let's hit the words, and let's spike.

[Angela Giratana]

Up a perfect way to end this.

[Shane]

How? Angela, do you know how old you were when.

[Vic Michaelis]

When you wrote this is my high school one? Let's see what this is.

[Angela Giratana]

Let's see what this is.

[Shane]

Oh, no.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is when I had to break down the vowels. This is some deep, short.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, are we supposed to be doing that?

[Vic Michaelis]

This was like a. Like an old.

[Shane]

Am I messing up as an actor?

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, and I got a C. Okay, we're moving on.

[Shane]

Okay, so it's not good. So we shouldn't listen to this.

[Vic Michaelis]

We're moving on. Oh, and then here's Sonic. So, Vic, tell us about Dropout.

[Shane]

Tell us you're the Yoda of acting.

[Vic Michaelis]

So what's it like on Dropout? So let's do my. So let's talk about, you know, anything else.

[Angela Giratana]

Angela, I can't stress hard enough that you voluntarily texted me yesterday and said, I got some great monologue books I'm bringing in. You went through your stuff and picked those roots.

[Vic Michaelis]

I did this one. This one that has a lot of. What the fuck is this? Like, as the waves make toward the pebble shore, so do our minutes hoist into their end? Like, as the waves. This is some crazy shit.

[Shane]

Can I say I'm laughing just because this is like, Angela, I was not prepared for you to bring something so, like, so personal. Something so personal.

[Vic Michaelis]

You both have tears in your eyes.

[Shane]

It's just like, this is so real. That's. I was not ready for that.

[Angela Giratana]

You know when you're laughing so hard that it kind of feels like something is exercising?

[Shane]

I'm like, okay, I got my workout in.

[Vic Michaelis]

I got my workout in.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm laughing chest first. I'm like, you know what I mean?

[Vic Michaelis]

This is so fun.

[Shane]

I'm laughing at your reaction to this.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I'm having a fun time.

[Shane]

If I pick that up. If I pick that up. And I just was reading it myself.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, you're not gonna.

[Shane]

I would think, like, oh, these are really wise words from. Honestly, from a teenager.

[Angela Giratana]

Like, oh, if I was a teen reading, that I'd be. I got it. Like, I did a lot of martial arts growing up, and there was sick.

[Vic Michaelis]

I didn't know that about you and I buy that.

[Angela Giratana]

So do you not know that I did martial arts growing up? How much I feel like I won't shut up about it. Discipline, Taekwondo. Did you do martial arts?

[Shane]

A tiny bit when I was a little kid.

[Angela Giratana]

What kind?

[Shane]

I think it was Taekwondo.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, great.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, I was never good. It took me so long.

[Vic Michaelis]

You guys talk about fighting, I'll talk.

[Shane]

About fighting with so long to get my green belt. I remember because it's, it's white belt, orange belt, belt, green belt.

[Angela Giratana]

So different gyms have different ways of doing it, but that is about right.

[Shane]

And I remember I. It took me so friggin long to get my green belt. And when I got it, I was like, I didn't earn this.

[Vic Michaelis]

And. But are they all. The final destination is the black belt?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. And then you get like stripes on the black belt.

[Angela Giratana]

So there's also different form systems because there's like fighting and then there's forms or sort of like. And then weapons too, but that not all gyms do weapons, but all gyms, all dojos, like Taekwondo specifically. We'll do like some form of fighting, some form of forms as like a part of your belt curriculum. And how long did you do this for? I did it for like 12 years.

[Shane]

That's sick, dudes.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So you could, you could beat the.

[Angela Giratana]

Shit out of people in like a very specific setting.

[Shane]

Yeah, they'd have to come at you in a very specific way.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh great. They're coming at me in a specific way.

[Shane]

As long as you come at me like this.

[Angela Giratana]

I was showing people self defense the other day because I taught self defense for a long time and.

[Shane]

Yeah, you taught self care.

[Angela Giratana]

Angela, We've been friends for 10 years. No, I didn't know this Kimmy of a Pornia, who's a friend of both of us. I tested her for her black belt.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, Wait, keep going. Just keep going.

[Angela Giratana]

So sort of, if I could segue, if I may. Yeah, this is.

[Shane]

So this is.

[Angela Giratana]

All of this was to say that we had like this saying like where it was like, if you're not training, somebody else is training. And when. Then when you code to fight them, they're gonna win, essentially. And so like right now, if you're.

[Vic Michaelis]

Enjoying this movie that you're watching thing, it literally is like somebody else is training.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, that's.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're just a kid trying to relax.

[Shane]

It's so fun.

[Angela Giratana]

So the point being that if I had picked that up as a teenager, I would have been like, yeah, you're training and I'm behind. I would have been like, you're, you're gonna get it. You're getting the part and you deserve the part. And next time I'm, I'm gonna have to. Four journals next time I come to an audition like that. That would have been my mentality. Come on. This is so fun. Thank you.

[Shane]

When did you stop doing taekwondo, though?

[Angela Giratana]

I kind of.

[Shane]

When did you leave the dojo?

[Angela Giratana]

I joined a gym when I moved out to California and I went from fighting very competitively to quitting for a little bit. I broke my nose a couple of times and then when I wanted to do acting stuff, I had to fully get it reset because it was like S shaped. And I was like, oh, I can't fight anymore because I literally can't do that again. And yeah, I sort of was like, I want to get back into it. I miss like being a part of like, because it's like such a community. And I jumped in and they like put me in like a more competitive higher level class and I just spent weeks getting my ass kicked by 14 year old boys. I like, I can't even express how embarrassing it was on a daily basis.

[Vic Michaelis]

But like self defense wise then you taught self defense, where'd you teach self defense?

[Angela Giratana]

I know that like in like middle and high school, like my gym had like a thing that just behind the.

[Shane]

Gym after school, it's like, meet up with me.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, I did do that for a while. That was like, I was not a popular kid and so that was like my way of trying to make friends is I was like, why don't we. I'll, I'll do a recess, like Taekwondo gym. And I had one friend that joined for a little bit. That was sort of my thing.

[Vic Michaelis]

Someone comes at you, what are you doing? Someone comes at you today, what are you doing?

[Angela Giratana]

Kind of depends in what way.

[Shane]

I'm pulling up my gun.

[Vic Michaelis]

I guess I'm like, can you give me a little bit of self defense? I'm pulling out my gun.

[Shane]

I'm teasing them.

[Angela Giratana]

I'll give one tiny little piece and then I'll segue. So it's. And then I'll segue. I'm gonna segue so well. Okay, so this is the strongest part of your hand. This. So a lot of people are like, somebody's coming at me. I'm gonna throw a punch and you can but my butt. But have you ever punched somebody, like earnestly?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, my brother.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

Earnestly.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. Like we.

[Angela Giratana]

It was lame, like in the face.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like he punched me, I punched him back.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

But in the stomach.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. So I would say like when you're going to punch, it hurts a lot more than you think.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Like oftentimes like body, face, like all of that is much stronger than your hand. Like it is going to hurt and you're not going to expect it to hurt. And this is the strongest part. There's like, it's. So all you want to do is if, especially if somebody's chasing you or somebody's coming around, use your body weight and you're just going to swing your hand around and you want this part of your hand, this like this fleshy part of your hand. You just want to make it as tight as you can. Your hand isn't going to hurt as badly and it's going to pack a lot more of a punch because you get a lot more body weight behind it.

[Shane]

It's. It's your pinky. So it's, it's.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. For the audio listener, it's the end.

[Shane]

It's kind of the last knuckle. The side of the last knuckle of your pinky.

[Angela Giratana]

Yes. Think about like in Psycho, the. The stabbing motion of a knife, like that is what you want to be doing.

[Shane]

So hammer fist is actually hammer fist.

[Angela Giratana]

One day. That's pretty exciting, Vic.

[Vic Michaelis]

Coming on. We're not talking about comedy. We're talking about the strength of a punch.

[Shane]

I also think about that part in Bloodsport when the trucker guy, he does his final move by hammer fisting a dude and it's just like hell yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Well that's it. It's like. Cuz it's not. It's like the granny shot. It's not as flashy as a punch, but boy oh boy is it gonna pack more of a.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hit.

[Angela Giratana]

Hit, spike, spike serve. Hit, spike serve. Okay, let'.

[Shane]

There'S the. There's that segue we were waiting for.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm obsessed. Okay, so the original creative was to talk bring in monologues for each other to read.

[Angela Giratana]

Prepare. Yeah. Were we reading from. I prepared a monologue myself.

[Vic Michaelis]

You did? I can't wait. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

And Angela, you said you first.

[Vic Michaelis]

I wrote a couple because I. Okay, so yes, because. Wrote a couple meaning I wanted to write these bad 16 year old mom. Like, like I do think we could all kind of write these. You know what I mean? Like if we wanted to write. Like if Smosh wanted to write a monologue book, we could.

[Shane]

That's.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh my God.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that's why I was like, let's Just start writing these for kids in high schools.

[Angela Giratana]

Wait, can I help?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, like literally, like, like what if we. Or if we just a bunch of comedians did it and we just started actually really funny.

[Angela Giratana]

That's why I wanted would be so fun.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. And we could sell a lot of copies.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Did you do a lot of, like a lot of theater?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Did you do a lot of those off brand plays?

[Vic Michaelis]

No. I don't know.

[Angela Giratana]

No. Okay. Yeah, never mind.

[Vic Michaelis]

Sorry.

[Angela Giratana]

No, that's okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Don't mean to spike the ball.

[Angela Giratana]

No. And I. And I hit it.

[Shane]

So you didn't really drink the words in there?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, I kind of just went, no, think about it.

[Angela Giratana]

Write it down and your words will wait for you. What was it?

[Shane]

The words are there. The words are there waiting for you to enjoy them.

[Vic Michaelis]

Guys, we moved on.

[Angela Giratana]

If you don't have an opinion, don't shut up.

[Shane]

You're doing. You're not doing the work.

[Angela Giratana]

If you don't have a pen, you're not doing the work. I think is what if I got a tattoo doing the work.

[Vic Michaelis]

If you don't. If you're not doing an opinion. Oh my God. Here are notes.

[Angela Giratana]

Can we get matching if you don't have an opinion. How about this? I'll get. If you don't have an opinion and I'll say don't do the work. You don't, Then you don't have an opinion. What was it?

[Vic Michaelis]

If you don't have an opinion and then you'll get. Then you're not doing.

[Angela Giratana]

Then you're not doing the work.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then we can put them next to each other.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, that would be actually really wonderful.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, so you wrote a monologue.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, but I'm going, can we hear it? No, you're going last. I want to go last. I want to go last because I'm feeling shy.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

Okay. And I will say I looked through and I found some websites for, for monologues. I did find monologues for men, which.

[Vic Michaelis]

Can we read those? Can we read?

[Shane]

That makes me laugh. They're actually not as entertaining because they.

[Angela Giratana]

Do the Bible for men where they're like, these are all the bro verses.

[Shane]

I've joked before that I think anything followed by for men is just hilarious.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh yeah.

[Shane]

And you see so much of it. I think I, I saw a. It was like hair salon for men and it was called like nails and grit or something like that.

[Vic Michaelis]

I was like when they had that pen that they released and they're like pen for girls and it was pink it's like doom.

[Angela Giratana]

It wasn't just pink. It also fit for tiny hands. Easier to grip. Just.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. So if we're. Yeah, I did look up some also monologues too.

[Shane]

Okay. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, so we're not off book?

[Shane]

Oh, oh, no. I was gonna cold read.

[Vic Michaelis]

I was gonna cold read as well.

[Angela Giratana]

For sure. Me too.

[Shane]

Do you have it fully. Are you fully off book?

[Vic Michaelis]

You can't trust me.

[Shane]

Why are you harping on us? And you're not.

[Vic Michaelis]

You really can't trust. I actually can't believe I thought for a second it.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm half on, half off.

[Shane]

Great.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, I'll start off in the.

[Shane]

I did not do many monologues.

[Angela Giratana]

No. Say.

[Vic Michaelis]

I think it was a way to work alone and it was a way to like audition for like the school plays. They would be like, here, do a monologue.

[Shane]

Yeah. And like, it's very much a thing for kids.

[Vic Michaelis]

I think I also found some monologues from like well known movies that I think could be fun to read.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. So I'll look for other ones, but. Okay, so let's hear yours.

[Shane]

Okay, I found this one. This is for 9 to 12 year olds and it's. The genre is comedy.

[Vic Michaelis]

Great.

[Shane]

But I'm gonna read it a little more dramatically.

[Angela Giratana]

Well, I think that is the thing, right? Is that like the difference between comedy and drama is that like in drama, actors are like, I'm saying this funny thing with the idea of being funny. And in comedy, it's like the characters don't know that they're being funny. So I think that's a really good.

[Vic Michaelis]

Whoa. That got real and good.

[Shane]

I never thought about the flip with.

[Angela Giratana]

Drama because I think often it's characters that are sort of like, I'm gonna tell you this joke with the idea of making other characters laugh. Or I'm like doing something with. And I mean, not always. I feel like, like with that piece of advice, every time any one of us gives actual good acting advice, we should get one thing about El Pollo Loco.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes, get one.

[Angela Giratana]

One little.

[Shane]

We get one little tub.

[Vic Michaelis]

One little Miss Sapphire Love. El Pollo Loco. I'll stop saying her name.

[Shane]

Okay, here we go. All right, so this is Dinosaurs in Eden. I'm 9 to 12 years old.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, you're auditioning. School play.

[Shane]

My name is Terry.

[Angela Giratana]

Wait, can we do it, like, wear the panel for you?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Come on in, Come on in.

[Shane]

Hey, how's it going?

[Vic Michaelis]

Hey. So, Shane Top, you're auditioning for the play? School play.

[Angela Giratana]

Can I say something? Don't be so nervous. Shake it off. We're here to watch you succeed for sure. And we're spending a lot of time together. If you get this part. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's exactly the shape.

[Shane]

I'm nine years old, and I have the ability to just shake off my anxiety.

[Angela Giratana]

Perfect.

[Vic Michaelis]

And hold on to that.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

All right. Whenever I'm ready.

[Angela Giratana]

Whenever. Questions. Are two parents still together?

[Shane]

They're hanging on.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, great. So there will be somebody at all times to drive you to rehearsal is what I'm asking.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, Fantastic. Go ahead.

[Vic Michaelis]

Their job to ask that.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

Excuse me, sir. I have a question. Where are all the dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden? In science class this week, we learned all about fossils, and Mr. Williams was saying that some of them are millions of years old. I just can't quite make sense of the timeline because if the Bible is right, then there should be velociraptors in the Garden of Eden. And I think if that's the case, the apple would be at least the least of their problems. Surely you'd want to build some kind of home defense system with electric fences and guardrails. Speaking of which. Which, if God really didn't want them to eat the apple, then why put the tree there? That sounds pretty mean. It's like putting a T. Rex in a cage and wondering why it chews its own foot off.

[Angela Giratana]

What?

[Shane]

Detention. I thought we were supposed to turn the other cheek.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's the last. That's the last line.

[Shane]

Them's the brakes, man. Hey, serve hit. Spike.

[Vic Michaelis]

Serve hit. Spoke.

[Shane]

Thanks.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wait. I kind of want to. That feels like young Shelton.

[Shane]

I. It does feel like young Sheldon.

[Angela Giratana]

That's so funny. And maybe it's because I went to Christian school for a little bit. That read like a. Like a. Like a hard drama.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

That read like a teacher wrote that with something to prove.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, that's a monologue from God's Not Dead.

[Shane]

Right? Some parents are going through that monologue book and seeing that one. Going, going. You're not reading that shit.

[Vic Michaelis]

What do you mean?

[Shane]

I was always shocked by the amount of religious parents amongst actor children.

[Angela Giratana]

Of course, I'm like, utah musical theater is such a huge thing.

[Shane]

It's always shocking to me.

[Angela Giratana]

There's six productions every minute. There's a production of Seussical that's getting put up every minute in Parkslop, Utah.

[Vic Michaelis]

During this podcast, 10 productions of Seussical will be put up.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. So. Donate below.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, I got one. That was a really good one.

[Angela Giratana]

That was a really good One. And honestly.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's also, like, precise.

[Vic Michaelis]

I actually. I liked. Also, like, like, you were. You were doing a lot of discoveries.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. You're getting flounder. We're doing Little Mermaid Junior. And you got floundered.

[Shane]

And I got flounder. Hell, yes. I did it. I nailed it. Thank you.

[Angela Giratana]

I love that.

[Shane]

I feel like 90% of monologues are a kid talking to a teacher.

[Vic Michaelis]

Literally.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that brings me to this.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Do you want to.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Do you want to do that? Okay. Angela, come on in.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hi, guys.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, here's what I'm going to ask you. Step out of the room and come back in, and I want you to come back in a little more confident, okay? Because this room is your room.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're right. You're right. Oh, should I wait for him to be office?

[Shane]

No. Whenever you're ready.

[Angela Giratana]

Good.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

You're gonna be reading with me.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, great. It's a monologue. So I'll walk in and come back.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. So many questions.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hi.

[Angela Giratana]

Hello.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm Angela. I will be doing a monologue.

[Angela Giratana]

Brilliant.

[Vic Michaelis]

Is he supposed to be on his phone?

[Angela Giratana]

Yep, he's good on his phone. Don't worry about him.

[Shane]

Ordered. Have we ordered lunch?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, I want. Can you do Home State? Yeah, I know you want to order from Tig Greens, but if you can go ahead and order me homestate, I.

[Shane]

Can do Home State.

[Angela Giratana]

What is your attitude?

[Shane]

I'll do Home State.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

It's fine. I'll.

[Angela Giratana]

Are you okay?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm serious. Are you okay?

[Shane]

No, I'm doing fine. Sorry, I. I got held up in traffic this morning.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm just like, I could have driven you. I literally said, you're on my way. I can pick you up.

[Shane]

I had so much time.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, Amanda, go ahead.

[Vic Michaelis]

It's Angela.

[Angela Giratana]

Great.

[Vic Michaelis]

Should I come back in?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, why don't you go ahead.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hi, Amanda.

[Angela Giratana]

We filled the role.

[Shane]

The girl before you was in here for 20 minutes.

[Vic Michaelis]

She came out, you guys were like, love you, babe. And all of a sudden, you're a. And you're like, there's traffic.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is overrated. Vacation camping. Don't get me wrong, I. I'm glad not to be in school, but sleeping outside, this ground is always lumpy. It's so lumpy. And eating outside is so annoying. I swear, I've eaten 100 bugs. Maybe even a thousand bugs. Can you shut the fuck up, Vic?

[Angela Giratana]

I'm just, like, at the point that you're eating a hundred bugs. Why does it matter if it's 100,000 bugs.

[Shane]

She's not even reading a monologue. She's just looking at a website of bugs.

[Angela Giratana]

This is the one you wrote, right?

[Shane]

There's so many bugs here.

[Vic Michaelis]

This, this is a model up for middle schoolers. I can't even 100 bucks that. Remember yesterday, there was a bee in my soda can and I went in and it went in my mouth and I spit it out and it was still alive and it flew away. Even birds build nests. They don't want to sleep on the ground either. Plus it's cold. Why can't we just have one of those Disney World vacations? You know, go on rides, stay in a hotel. A hotel? See, See some dolphins, jump around or something. I'm fucking this. Yeah, dolphins and hotels with cable tv. That's life. But that's just another idea for next year. Dad. The whole time talking to dad would.

[Shane]

You know, you can tell that book or that that monologue was written like 15 years ago because there's no more bugs anymore.

[Vic Michaelis]

What are you talking about?

[Shane]

There's no more bugs gone. Have you noticed bugs are out?

[Vic Michaelis]

What are you talking about?

[Angela Giratana]

Bugs?

[Shane]

Honest to God. Have you gone on a road trip? In a minute.

[Vic Michaelis]

I saw a bug this morning. What are you talking?

[Shane]

One bug.

[Angela Giratana]

Bug populations are huge. Hugely in decline.

[Shane]

Yeah, actually, no, it's not to get dark here.

[Vic Michaelis]

But bugs are going.

[Shane]

Bugs are fully going. Yeah, actually, yes. No, we're actually really trouble.

[Vic Michaelis]

It's tough that like our children's children will be like, like what's a bug?

[Angela Giratana]

What's a bug?

[Shane]

And you'll be like. It was a little character I played on Sorted.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wait, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about this.

[Shane]

Really good.

[Vic Michaelis]

What do we have to talk about? You can stop. My first ever D and D campaign was with Vic.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh yeah, that's true.

[Vic Michaelis]

And it was during the pandemic.

[Angela Giratana]

I never played. I don't think either of us had ever played D and D before.

[Vic Michaelis]

And it was very obvious cuz we only wanted to do scenes y and we didn't want to.

[Shane]

Did you both play bards?

[Angela Giratana]

No, that I was like, you could.

[Shane]

Have set yourself up for that.

[Angela Giratana]

I was the biggest character. You were the smallest character. And that was the only attributes that we had. I was big and rich, you were tiny and poor.

[Vic Michaelis]

I was tiny and poor and you were big and rich. And then I took some of that and I think I put it in the bug. But this character was. It was thing turned into.

[Angela Giratana]

Because again, as Angela said, we only wanted to do Scenes. We would literally, like, inch up to combat, and then. Then we would sort of be like. And we run away.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I find.

[Angela Giratana]

A phone, and I put.

[Vic Michaelis]

Vic would always try to find a phone.

[Angela Giratana]

Angela's character's name was Spooner. And I'd be like, I put Spooner on my back and I run. And we run so fast because I'm so big.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, my God, that was so funny.

[Angela Giratana]

And we turned into cheerleaders at the end. That was our whole thing.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes, we turned into cheerleaders. And Izzy and Ruha, they would fight, and we'd be like, all right, well, I do an eldritch blast. Eldritch blast. And we find a phone.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, and we find a phone. I toss. I tossed Spooner. Angela's character was spinner. Tossed Spooner so high into the air that Spooner is not involved in the combat at all.

[Vic Michaelis]

I think you would toss me out. You were a cheerleader, so you would toss me.

[Angela Giratana]

We were like cheerleaders, but our whole thing that we turned into was we just thought it was really fun if I would do rolls to see how cool, how you could throw me, how high I could throw Angela, and how cool Angela's trick would be.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then one day I, like, pooped in the air or something.

[Angela Giratana]

And then they ended up, and we.

[Vic Michaelis]

Were like, we got him. And it was maybe the worst D and D I've ever played because I was so bad. I was so bad.

[Angela Giratana]

I still. I just like. We didn't. I didn't. I had spells. I didn't use a single one. I didn't. They scared me. I didn't know how to do it.

[Vic Michaelis]

You were like a Vanderbilt or something, right?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

You were like.

[Angela Giratana]

But it's spelled different.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, it's about a little funky. Okay.

[Shane]

My God.

[Vic Michaelis]

What's your monologue? Your turn?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, pass. I want to. I want to hear more of these.

[Shane]

You want to hear more of these?

[Angela Giratana]

Can I will do mine. I promise. I'm feeling so shy.

[Shane]

Can I say I started. I was like, reading through these monolog and I came across one and I was just like, oh, this one's a drama one for 10 year olds. And it's. It's like, time to go, Rufus. And it's. I start reading it. I'm like, oh, my God. It's this kid taking his dog to the vet to get it put down. I was just like. I read, like, two sentences. I was there with Selena and I started tearing up after two sentences. I was like. I was like, can't read that one, let's read that one. I was like, 10 year old me would have been destroyed.

[Angela Giratana]

That's why you got that Nickelodeon shot.

[Shane]

You know what?

[Angela Giratana]

That's why you're a professional.

[Shane]

That's how I got icarly. No, actually, I, I, it was so funny when I started acting. For some reason, I think this is probably still the case. It was like you got to be able to cry on command. And that was like, especially in child acting, all you're focused on that you like, kind of don't act well. You're like not focused on actually learning how to act because you're just trying to cry.

[Vic Michaelis]

Would someone try to teach you how to do it?

[Shane]

You just were like, no, nobody can teach you how to do it. So they're just like, I mean, sort of. They just be like, yeah, think about things that make you really fucking sad.

[Angela Giratana]

No, you look at the light.

[Shane]

You look at the light.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. This is what. Okay, so in Toronto, they're teaching very different stu stuff. They literally were like, you got to try and get there emotionally. If you can't, here's what you do. You like there, there's always these big lights everywhere. And if you just stare into the light for a little bit before your take.

[Shane]

Yeah, my vision's really bad now.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, but really. And open your eyes wide.

[Vic Michaelis]

For the audio listener. We're opening our eyes.

[Shane]

Opening our eyes wide and trying, and.

[Vic Michaelis]

Trying to cry this way.

[Angela Giratana]

This one is kind of a softer light so it's harder to do. But you get, you get one of the super soft bright ones.

[Shane]

This is, this cannot be good for you.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wait, hold on. I think I got it right.

[Shane]

Be good.

[Vic Michaelis]

I think I'm about to hit something. Ready?

[Shane]

Okay, Rufus, I, I gotta be honest. I can't really see your eyes because I was staring at lights and there's just two.

[Vic Michaelis]

Mix cooking. Mix cooking. I think there are two.

[Shane]

Where your eyes are two beams of water.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm laughing in there. Go back in.

[Angela Giratana]

That's the problem is you really just got to sort of like zone out for a second. And you got to completely just like meditative state. Clear your mind, stare into a light for a couple of seconds and then you would come back out and you get that perfect. Dewey, look.

[Shane]

See, I, I remember I had, I got a call back and it was like, oh, you're in the top, Jesse.

[Angela Giratana]

In spots.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, we, none of us can see now. Just so you know. I got to like, I got a light burned into my vision.

[Angela Giratana]

This is dropout. Secret takeover plan. Of Internet comedies. I'm like, yeah, why don't you just stare into the light for a little bit? I'm blinded. Comedy legends left, right, and center.

[Shane]

I started that one for a little bit less time than you did. And now when I close my eyes, it's like that scene in Iron Giant where it's in the dark.

[Angela Giratana]

It's like, fine.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wait. Tell me about this callback he had as a kid.

[Shane]

It was for. It was for a Charlize Theron movie. It was like the first. Like, I was still in Arizona. No, it's for North Country.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, yeah. Serious part.

[Shane]

Very serious. Dramatic role. And I. I think the audition was not even, like, reading anything. It was just kind of like, hey, like. Like, I. I'm. I'm 12.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And so the callback, it was like, once again, I'm supposed to just, like, be talking. Like, there was no material. But my. My coach at the time were like, you have to cry. And so I was like, okay. Like. And so my. My cat had just passed away, like, recently, and I basically.

[Vic Michaelis]

How old are you?

[Shane]

I'm like 12 or 13. That's. So it was just like. It was just like, hey, we're going to film you, and just, like, start crying about the cat that you just lost. And I look back and, like, I'm like, yeah, we should have just. I should have just done anything else.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So focused on crying.

[Angela Giratana]

That is.

[Shane]

As opposed to. But that was like, kind of like those first couple years of just like, yeah, just, you gotta cry. And I'm like, I don't think that's the.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're a kid. Okay. Hot take that. We might have to cut. I don't know. Kid actors. I don't think we should ever have them anymore. I think they should be animated. Hot take. I think all kid actors should be animated.

[Angela Giratana]

Animated. I 1000% agree with you.

[Shane]

I actually. Yeah, I can. I understand what you're coming from. There is that. I think the damage that is done overall. Like, are there exceptions where there's child actors who are like, I had a great time and it was awesome. Like, absolutely.

[Vic Michaelis]

But it's writ large.

[Shane]

It's. It's horrible.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like, it is crazy. It's just still fine.

[Angela Giratana]

I feel like even our friends, because we have a. We have a mutual friend who, like, was a child actor and I think was like, I had a net really good experience. But it's sort of like you. Where it's like, I recognize that I was the exception to the rule and not the.

[Shane]

You know what it Makes me think of is there's that movie. Rrr. The like, Bollywood film that's fucking awesome. And throughout it there's a lot of CGI animals. And sometimes it looks really silly, but at the start of the movie they're like, no animals were used in this film. They took pride in being like, we don't use animals. Like, we're not putting animals on sets and forcing them to do stuff.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I was like, you know, I can't really harp on, like a bad looking CGI animal when it's. It is better to not use them. And it's kind of the same with, like, kids where it's like, like, yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like, just like a little CGI kid that's like, mama, this is Charlize theron.

[Angela Giratana]

I'll. Lizzy McGuire. Twoie animated kid.

[Vic Michaelis]

And then we go, at least that kid's in school.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. What was the one you were going to read?

[Shane]

Okay, let me find. Let me find one now.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, I thought that was going to be that one. My bad.

[Shane]

I'm not going to read that. That one was. I. I will cry for that one. I would actually cry because I started reading it and then I also started reading another one which was for 11 to 13 year olds and it's a kid. Kid asking out his crush. And I started reading it and I was like, oh, I can't read this. This sounds horrible.

[Angela Giratana]

You don't want that clipping.

[Shane]

In a weird way, it literally starts off with being like, how are you enjoying grade five? And I was like, yeah, I can't read that. Yeah, that's pretty. That. That's taking on a very different tone from. From what it's going for.

[Angela Giratana]

Can I challenge you to something?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Can you try and cry in whatever monologue you pick?

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, that's good. I'll try to do that too.

[Shane]

I want to find a comment. Comedy. Okay. All right. Okay. This, this is age range 7 to 10 years old. I'm playing Lewis.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

Lewis is a picky eater. He only eats hot dogs. He's over at his friend Jack's house. And Jack's mom, Mrs. Jones, doesn't have any hot dogs.

[Angela Giratana]

I love that they have that. Because you don't have the place. You need the synopsis and what you.

[Shane]

Need, like the moment before this is synopsis.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

Okay. I'm gonna try cold reading. This is bringing me back to try to. I just talked about, about like trying to cry.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, I was going to say you're safe.

[Shane]

Okay. Okay, hold on, let me.

[Vic Michaelis]

And if this Is funny. It's going to be funny.

[Shane]

Let me think about my cat that passed away. Fluffy.

[Angela Giratana]

Was that its name? Fluffy?

[Shane]

Fluffy. My brother.

[Vic Michaelis]

Sounds fake.

[Shane]

My brothers got to name that cat and they named him Fluffy. And that's why then after that, my parents named every pet we ever owned and I was not allowed to name any of them.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. Cuz it's like so basic.

[Angela Giratana]

Like.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like be. Be creative.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm really sorry that that happened and that the cat had to live with a bad name for a long time. It's not a bad name. It's sort of odd name. It's like when you got a top ten name.

[Shane]

Fluffy.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

Fluffy was also. Can I say a giant cat.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He was. He was a Maine coon, so those are big. And then he was also very overweight.

[Vic Michaelis]

Love a big cat.

[Shane]

He one time jumped over our. Our wall into the neighbor's yard who had German shepherds. And the German shepherds were cowering in fear.

[Angela Giratana]

Whoa.

[Shane]

And he was. He was this. This was from the 90s and stuff. He was declawed. Which, yeah, never would do net horrible thing to do to a cat. But he would punch dogs so hard.

[Angela Giratana]

With this part of his fist.

[Shane]

Like, truly. Like, wait, a cat punching a dog? We got dogs eventually. And like, they knew. They were like, do not mess with punch. Like, because. Because he didn't have. He didn't have claws. So he would just like, fuck. Bam. And it would be like so hard. The dog would be like. Oh, it was crazy, man. Jesus.

[Angela Giratana]

I love that.

[Shane]

It was awesome.

[Vic Michaelis]

All right, let's hear it.

[Shane]

I'm gonna try to cry. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not gonna be able to cry.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm gonna be able to cry, so that's fair.

[Shane]

That's. Hey, good for you. Thanks me in the lobby like.

[Vic Michaelis]

Or are you crying for the read?

[Shane]

I'm. I'm.

[Vic Michaelis]

I heard Vic, like, wants to see crying.

[Angela Giratana]

Hey, guys. Sorry. We're gonna be seeing you in a second. If we just keep it down in here so we can respect the other auditioners. Okay.

[Shane]

So sorry.

[Angela Giratana]

Closed door.

[Shane]

200 South La Brea is.

[Vic Michaelis]

Rancho Cucamonga.

[Shane]

Rancho Cucamonga. Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, Shane, we are ready to see you. Come on in.

[Shane]

Hi.

[Angela Giratana]

Hi.

[Shane]

All right. I'll just get into it.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, great. You're the.

[Shane]

I'm Shane. I'm 13 years old.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Shane]

I'm reading for Lewis.

[Angela Giratana]

Are you willing to cut your hair?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

I start crying. Yeah. Okay. No, I'm sorry, Mrs. Jones. I. I don't eat that I only eat hot dogs. You don't have hot dogs. Oh, maybe I should go home then, because that's all. I eat hot dogs for breakfast, for lunch, dinner. Sometimes I eat two or three instead of just one. My mom says I'll grow out of it someday. I doubt it. I love hot dogs. My little sister, she's worse. She. She only eats chicken soup.

[Vic Michaelis]

She's worse.

[Shane]

She sticks her pigtails in the soup and sucks it up together. It's disgusting.

[Vic Michaelis]

It's disgusting.

[Shane]

Well, tell Jack I'll see him later.

[Vic Michaelis]

What?

[Shane]

I've got to go home and I have a few hot dogs. I think it's a three hot dog day to day. See you later, Mrs. Jones.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

I didn't get. I didn't. But I didn't get the streak.

[Angela Giratana]

You're out of the streak. That was it. Here's my next piece of El Pollo Loco. I think that watching somebody try not to cry, well, that's a stronger choice than watching somebody cry.

[Shane]

That is how I actually learned when I was like. When I got good at it for a little bit was that was how I had to do.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Because like, how junk people are never acting drunk. They're trying to act not drunk.

[Shane]

Like, because I started to notice that I'm like, I'm someone who cries. And when I watch movies all the time. But it's because I'm trying not to.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that's why.

[Shane]

And those parts in movies where I'm like. I'm like, yeah, it's so funny. Cause I'm like, I've been acting my whole life, but, like, I'll see a movie and I'll be there with, like, Courtney, and then, like, not in front of my wife, just be like. I'm like, you've seen me cry, like all this stuff. And I'm like, I'm an actor. That's what I'm trying to do all the time. But then I'll be crying. I'll just back.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah, that is.

[Shane]

But then, like, when. Like, I'm trying not to. It's like, that's actually.

[Vic Michaelis]

So I've actually seen this happen. When we did that meet and greet, and this guy comes up to us and he was like, you guys have given me and my daughter father daughter time. And Shane just goes, hey, man, you gotta stop. And he goes, we. We didn't have a lot to connect on. And he keeps going and shakes in the back. He's going, hey, so, dude, because it's.

[Shane]

Me, Spencer and Angela on the corner and I'm whispering. I'm just looking like, you gotta stop, man.

[Vic Michaelis]

He goes, before we take the picture, I just want you guys to know. And he's like, take a picture. And he's going, you gotta really stop, man.

[Shane]

He was so earnest. He was just like, yeah, like, you know, like, it's such a great opportunity for me and my daughter to hang out and watch your videos. Like, we have.

[Angela Giratana]

We.

[Shane]

It's so fun for us to spend this time together. And. And he was so. Just, like, earnest. But I was like, dude, you can't do this right now, man.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that's. Yeah, exactly. Okay.

[Shane]

It's very.

[Vic Michaelis]

Could I read that?

[Shane]

You want to read the hot dog one?

[Angela Giratana]

What I love about.

[Shane]

Do you want. Oh, you want to. You want to go and book it?

[Vic Michaelis]

I, like, I'm in the waiting room, too. So if.

[Angela Giratana]

When we're doing the same one. What I earnestly liked about that take was I was like, there's something going on at home.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

You know what I mean? The fact this kid is only.

[Shane]

I know.

[Angela Giratana]

He's, like, on the verge of tears. Is talking how his sister also only eats one food.

[Shane]

Like, yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm just like, there's something. There's horrendous subtext going on.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Mom calling someone.

[Vic Michaelis]

I think I just want to read it again. Not because I want to be better. I don't want to do that.

[Angela Giratana]

Angela, you can come on in.

[Vic Michaelis]

I just like the second part about the pigtails.

[Shane]

You also. I. I read that cold. You got to. To hear it.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. Okay, you're right.

[Shane]

No, do it.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. We do want to see Angela's read here today. Okay. Angela, if you can, go ahead and give. Damon Agency.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes, Angela. Smosh.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Wonderful. Thank you so much.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's not me.

[Angela Giratana]

Are you going to cut your hair?

[Vic Michaelis]

Wait. Do you want to give me a home life? Give me, like, a random specific of a home life and then see if I can do it without. In, like, in the subtext.

[Angela Giratana]

You live in a home where the dad owns two snakes. Thanks.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, here we go. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry, Ms. Jones. I. I don't eat that. I only eat hot dogs. You don't have any hot dogs. Okay, well, I should go home then. I mean that. But, yeah, that's all. I eat hot dogs for. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Sometimes I eat two instead of three or just one. My mom says I'll grow out of it someday. I just. I doubt it. I. I love hot dogs, but my little sister's worse. She only eats chicken Soup. She sticks her pigtails in the soup and she sucks the soup out of her hair. It's disgusting. Well, tell Jack I'll see him later. I've got to go home. I have a few and have a few hot dogs. I've got to go home. It's. It's a three hot dog day. See you later, Mrs. Jones. I.

[Angela Giratana]

It a horror movie?

[Shane]

Not it.

[Angela Giratana]

No, that was a horror movie. That's like the kid that, you know, like gets some sort of a premonition and is just like gets really intense for a second and then snaps out of it. And then you sort of know something bad is gonna happen to that character.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. Did you see the snap snakes?

[Shane]

Yeah, I saw the snakes a little bit. Snakes a little bit. That's also a part that kills me in any movie or show where like. Because you're playing like the silly character. Yeah, like that's a silly character. But they have the moment where they break.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And that always kills me. That always kills me.

[Angela Giratana]

You know, they get really intense for.

[Shane]

A second where it's just like. Oh, like beneath the veneer of their comedy, like they're the comedic relief of the show. But then they have the moment where they're no longer and they're not funny.

[Vic Michaelis]

Anymore cuz their sister sucks their head hair.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Suck soup through their hair. Yeah. I got to figure out what's going on there.

[Angela Giratana]

Hairspoon. Hairspoon hair is a spoon.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. I'm looking back.

[Shane]

Can be.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Should be. I'm trying to decide. Should be.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm trying to decide. What? Let me see. Hold on. Give me a second.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm really loving running these audition sessions. I think it's like kind of.

[Vic Michaelis]

So you thing you want to do.

[Angela Giratana]

Colorado, run a theater? Colorado. I'm assuming Colorado. Colorado. Theater director. Theater director. And I'm kind of like Colorado, but I'm running the one casting office for all the local commercials.

[Shane]

Slash dojo.

[Angela Giratana]

Slash dojo. I'll do self defense when we're not using it for casting.

[Shane]

You could do like. Yeah. You could also be training stunt people who are also actors.

[Angela Giratana]

Fun. I bet there's gotta be some party stunt people coming out of Colorado.

[Shane]

Yeah, they're doing that for fun.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. I have one year.

[Angela Giratana]

Vegan.

[Shane]

Yeah. No, they're shredded in Colorado. No shoes ever. Or they're wearing the shoes that have the multiple toes.

[Vic Michaelis]

I wrote one for college auditions.

[Shane]

Did you throw up in your mouth? A little bit.

[Angela Giratana]

So that's gonna be your intention for this next one is you're wearing shoes that. That isolate each one of your toes.

[Vic Michaelis]

For the hot dog monologue.

[Angela Giratana]

For this one.

[Shane]

Oh, my God. Sorry, I'm scrolling. And this next one, I'm just gonna read the age range. Genre.

[Vic Michaelis]

Do it.

[Shane]

It says age range, 10 to 12 years old. This is a. This is a monologue for 10 to 12 year olds.

[Angela Giratana]

It's titled Carl.

[Shane]

It says, genre drama, content warning, discussion of domestic violence.

[Vic Michaelis]

And I'm like, for 10, 10 to.

[Shane]

12, I'm like, you don't have to do that.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like that. There's that guy in Burbank writing these monologues, and he's like this.

[Shane]

Oh, my God, this kid's gonna read this.

[Angela Giratana]

Whoa. I remember I auditioned for an off brand Stuart Little when I was, like, maybe 16.

[Vic Michaelis]

Stop every.

[Shane]

Everything it said, content warning, domestic violence.

[Angela Giratana]

Well, it's like, it was real local theater. It was, like, 35 seats. And I remember it was a kids production. And I just remember, like, the director being like, are you gonna be afraid to go there? And me being like, go where?

[Shane]

Go where?

[Vic Michaelis]

See the mouse.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. So that was like. That was a big thing. Being like. We just want to make sure our actors aren't afraid to really, like, push it and go there. And we're like. It literally was Stuart Little, but, like, the public domain version. And they wrote a story around whatever, like, the. They could use in public domain. Wait, should I do mine?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, do yours.

[Shane]

Do yours. All right.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

Do yours.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay, so this is a monologue.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're off book. You're literally off book.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm, like, a little bit off book. I have my sides in my pocket. This was, like, one that was, like, super important to me in college especially, and it was called It's a Trap. And it's, like, essentially, like, about how, like, media was changing and so, like, things went from, like, physical media to more like, things living online and about how things live online forever. And there's, like, not really a way to escape that, which felt kind of like, apropos.

[Shane]

Right?

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Are you ready?

[Shane]

That's.

[Angela Giratana]

So this is. Thank you. I'm a. So I'm playing a reporter, and I am getting fired from my job, and this is, like, my chance to save it. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, this is. This is. Oh, my God, I'm so excited. Take your time. No rush.

[Angela Giratana]

If you just give me a second, sort of.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

What? You can't fire me. I've been working here for 10 years. You can't fire me. Okay, well, hey, just let me read the piece that I'm working on. Okay? This job is everything to me. Just let me. Let me. Let me read it, and if you hate it, then, okay, then I'll go. And I won't give you a hard time about it, all right? But just please listen. Okay. Okay. This is a review that I'm working on right now. I should say it's 2016. This is a review that I'm working on right now. And again, if this is not your cup of tea, if it's not something that speaks to you, then fire me on the spot. The 24th Street Theater is a place you can come if your parents are fighting or you need to do your homework. If you need a job. Youth is. Is the prime focus here. Caleb Foote and Angela Giratana are young adults, but they embody all the dismissive contempt of adolescent siblings. Divine, who developed the show with writer Brian Davidson, tends to cast angular girls with a lot of naive sexuality. What Giratana sings, scowls, and places her feet like a weary, feral cat. Her Gretel takes to the woods and to Sarah Zinger's blind mountain woman with more audacity than Foots Hansel, who remains sullen and stubborn, with good reason, as it turns out. And they all learn and lean on one another and appreciate each other for the differences and their essential commonalities. Oh, that's mad.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, my God.

[Angela Giratana]

The writing isn't. The writing just isn't strong. Davidson's characters are not well developed, and his world is not as specific as the one of Mike Kenny's spare dialogue to inspire from Divine. And it must be said that Hansel and Gretel Bluegrass, the name of the show, is remarkably stiff as a title. Regardless, the show is fine. It is a better show than you can see most places. Better than one I saw recently on a much bigger budget and a theater company 10 times larger. Better than one I saw later that day at a smaller theater. In a world where I heard this morning that thousands of unaccompanied Syrian refugees were awaiting deportation from France. I need to know that people like Debbie Devine and J. McAdams are leaving a trail of breadcrumbs, crumbs at their door.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's a re.

[Shane]

They tied it in. They tied it into the darkest current events of the time of 2016.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, you can you.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm honestly, I should have known. I should have known be like, oh, Vic, come on in. Come on in, Vic, that you're gonna find some. Some about me and you're gonna read it on camera.

[Angela Giratana]

I Don't know what you're talking about. That's a monologue I worked really hard on, so.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, there's so much to.

[Shane]

Did you research and find that, or have you had that in your pocket since 2016?

[Angela Giratana]

Me. No, it's funny. If you just Google Angie Giratana. Me, me, me.

[Shane]

As if you didn't just do that.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Weird. It's. You know, it just is. That's so weird.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're the funniest person I'm talking about.

[Angela Giratana]

Victory. You talked about Angela. That's so crazy. But no, if you Google Angela giortana theater reviews 2015. That'll come up. Is a fun fact.

[Vic Michaelis]

What did they say about my feet?

[Shane]

I love how you were like, oh, we're gonna do monologues. Let me google.

[Vic Michaelis]

Let me google something Angela did. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I don't even remember this ever happened. Like, of course I remember the show. Oh, my God, the pictures. I'll send you guys the pictures.

[Angela Giratana]

There's a bunch of pictures.

[Vic Michaelis]

Who developed. It's the feet part.

[Angela Giratana]

No.

[Vic Michaelis]

So Jiratana sings, scowls, and places her feet like a wary feral cat.

[Angela Giratana]

This, I do think, was my favorite line, was that Davidson tends to cast angular girls with a lot of naive sexuality.

[Vic Michaelis]

What? What?

[Angela Giratana]

And then semicolon.

[Vic Michaelis]

Semicolon.

[Angela Giratana]

So sing scowls and place of it. You got a really nice feature in this article. This reporter did.

[Vic Michaelis]

This was a production. I will say this production was pretty wild. This was a production of Hansel and Gretel. That was a. A three personer. And it was mostly. Mostly me and this boy.

[Shane]

Wow. The foreshadowing. I talked about leaving a trail of candy to this studio and then hanselling, and then. You should have known it was coming.

[Angela Giratana]

Come on. There we go. You go.

[Shane]

The words are there waiting for you to enjoy them.

[Vic Michaelis]

When I was like, I was truly. It's been a bit since. You hang on every word coming out of someone's mouth. You're like, what's that? Like, literally every word. I was like, wait, no. The 24th Street Theater. It was a really great theater. But I had to be barefoot and sing the whole time. No, I had to sing hymns and be barefoot the entire time.

[Angela Giratana]

Honestly, a bluegrass version of something like that. We did a bluegrass version of, like, Like, a smaller, like, show that we were doing around, like, comedy theaters here. And like, anything I think, is a really good choice.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like, bluegrass. Like, bluegrass Grease.

[Shane]

Are you talking like, bluegrass? Like, like, the music?

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

And make the music that like bluegrass.

[Angela Giratana]

Because you did all the arranging for that.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, we did a mommy of a different. And we did. We made it all bluegrass music.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Vic Michaelis]

It's a good genre.

[Angela Giratana]

It's a good genre.

[Shane]

Did you take part? Were you just a performer in that show?

[Vic Michaelis]

No, I worked with this band couplet that I loved, and they do a bunch of bluegrass stuff, and I was like, can we cover all of ABBA's songs and make them bluegrassy?

[Shane]

That's pretty cool.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. But I really don't know the genre that well, but I just love it.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Vic Michaelis]

But, yeah, so did that play. No biggie. No big deal.

[Shane]

Way to go.

[Vic Michaelis]

Did that play. Did a lot of performances. I think it was, like, 80 performances.

[Angela Giratana]

80 performances? Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

That was open for a long time.

[Angela Giratana]

It was one of those. Was this right out of college?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. And this was like. Like one of those shows that's meant for, like, field trips.

[Angela Giratana]

Trips. Amazing.

[Vic Michaelis]

So we would do it, like, all weekend, and then during the week or every Saturday morning, they'd bring in, like, a new trip of some kids, and then we would do it, and then.

[Shane]

We do children's theater.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

Cool.

[Angela Giratana]

Incredible.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wow. Yeah. Oh, my God, guys, we've been to hell and back.

[Angela Giratana]

Look at us.

[Shane]

I. I cried so much today.

[Vic Michaelis]

This was.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of hot dogs.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

I can't.

[Angela Giratana]

That monologue, I think I'm might pull out. They're gonna set me sides for a part, and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna do you one better.

[Vic Michaelis]

The way you added the context.

[Angela Giratana]

Well, I think I just needed to give the character a little bit of motivation.

[Shane]

I love how it was a monologue of someone reading a monologue.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Well, it was literally.

[Angela Giratana]

It was a monologue.

[Shane]

Somebody reading a journalist reading.

[Angela Giratana]

Reading a review. I felt pretty strongly that it just needed. It needed that urgency because that's the time that we're living in.

[Shane]

A theater critic went to a children's play and, like, wrote it.

[Angela Giratana]

Well, now hearing the of that, I'm like, why was a theater critic? And it was, like, a pretty large publication that did this review.

[Shane]

I don't have sexuality at all in, like, a children's place.

[Vic Michaelis]

Weird. I mean, it was like a. It was like a bunch of adults would come see it, but it was, like, about, like. Like these two siblings growing up, and it was like these two siblings didn't have a place to stay, so they slept outside. Like, it was like, I don't slept.

[Angela Giratana]

Outside of the lumpy ground. And they kind of wish that they. Disney. Do you want to close?

[Vic Michaelis]

We've made my. It's one. It's really quick.

[Angela Giratana]

I'm begging.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay. I wrote you a breakdown Council Gretel.

[Shane]

But it's actually Florida project and it's the Florida project.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, here we go.

[Angela Giratana]

Am I reading it? Y. I booked you book. Okay, so I'm reading this. Okay, you're reading all in the tiniest.

[Shane]

Text I've ever seen in my life.

[Vic Michaelis]

Sorry.

[Angela Giratana]

This is perfect. I am very dyslexic, but I have perfection. But you're perfect.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're. You got this.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. Becky, 18 to 19, quirky, shrewd if needed. She's adventurous, bold and daring. She takes initiative in every part of her life, Home, school. It doesn't matter to Becky. She's left handed, so she's never been afraid to be a black sheep.

[Vic Michaelis]

Don't miss any of this.

[Angela Giratana]

She's a senior. Yeah. She's never been told that she is pretty. But she's smoking hot for a girl like her. She's smoking hot for a girl like her. And sometimes on the right day, and if the moonlight hits her just right, right, she knows she's hot.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is the breakdown. So don't remember all this.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Maybe start from the beginning if you need her.

[Angela Giratana]

Do you want me to start again?

[Vic Michaelis]

No, I just don't want you to forget that you are defeated. Like all these things.

[Shane]

The left handedness.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

Tall, brushes her teeth. Is on partner track. Is on partner track. She's 18, 19. Both of. Both of her parents like her. Oh, both of her parents like her, but not each other. Good bone structure. Silly. She reads a lot, but can throw any type of ball. She listens, but speaks her mind. Sturdy actor. Must have comedy chops. Kind. Smokes 15 cigarettes a day. But feeds her mom. But feeds her mom. Feeds her mom. Like, is making the money for her mom or like, feeds her.

[Shane]

Okay, physically feeds her?

[Angela Giratana]

Well, we're gonna find out.

[Vic Michaelis]

Here we go. So everyone got that? Okay, lot, this is Becky.

[Shane]

That is. That is a breakdown unlike any I've ever read.

[Vic Michaelis]

So here's Becky.

[Angela Giratana]

Is it. So in Canadian breakdowns, when we're getting Canadian sides, they, like, make sure you're not using Canadian. Canadian regionalities. Like, no, sorry. Like, stuff like that. Is that important for this?

[Shane]

Wow.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

Suppress who you are.

[Angela Giratana]

We got to check. You got to ask the questions. Okay, well, it's not suppressing if you're like that. Into character.

[Shane]

Okay, that's true.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

So. And that's another one of my okay. Oh, okay. Here we go. They say a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes I think I'm not even hitting that. I can't wait for cheerleading today. 5 it. I know what I. I don't know what came over me. I never talk like that. In the meantime, let's feed mom. I feel so good about that.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela Giratana]

So you sort of said, remember, let's feed mom, and we know what that'll be. And you sort of didn't come back to it at all. It just sort of was a line in there.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm really proud of it.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Shane]

I think that's great.

[Angela Giratana]

I love that.

[Shane]

That's great. What's the title of the show?

[Angela Giratana]

What's the title of the show?

[Vic Michaelis]

Becky.

[Angela Giratana]

I love that. Short, sweet, to the point. Honestly, I could see more from Becky. I think you should write that play and we should mount it.

[Vic Michaelis]

Or I think you should come play Becky on Bit City.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Okay.

[Shane]

And now that's canon. And now we're gonna do it.

[Vic Michaelis]

Now fans are gonna go, vic needs to play Becky.

[Angela Giratana]

We need to. Here's my requirements. We need to build a full Becky set.

[Vic Michaelis]

Full Becky set.

[Angela Giratana]

This is the play I want. Full Becky, full set. We need an orchestra.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The play is written by Samuel Becky.

[Vic Michaelis]

Smoshpin.

[Angela Giratana]

Smoshpin. How about pit? Pit? We need a pit orchestra. There you go.

[Vic Michaelis]

There you go.

[Angela Giratana]

A cost. Costume designer. They need to be specific designs for Becky.

[Vic Michaelis]

We need fan art of Becky. I'm sorry.

[Shane]

We can do it. The deadline for. For the production is tomorrow, so we need to have this.

[Vic Michaelis]

So we need to do this.

[Angela Giratana]

If we can sort of get this all sort of wrapped up here has.

[Vic Michaelis]

Been the best hour of my life.

[Angela Giratana]

I cannot tell you how fun this was. And we didn't even scratch the surface of all of my questions that I had for both of you about.

[Shane]

You had questions for us.

[Angela Giratana]

So many questions.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, me, Me or who?

[Angela Giratana]

Me.

[Vic Michaelis]

You had questions.

[Angela Giratana]

Him for sure.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Do you want to ask one question for each of us?

[Angela Giratana]

Yes.

[Shane]

And then we can go.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Yeah. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Review of mine. It's gonna be some scary thing.

[Angela Giratana]

No. Then I'll start with you so you don't get scared.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

They're making this up.

[Angela Giratana]

Okay. If you are putting curse words on a scale of four to one. Okay. Does frick rate?

[Vic Michaelis]

So you wrote. You prepared these questions? Okay. I'd say Frick four being the best curse, one being a bad, or being.

[Angela Giratana]

Like, the most, like, advanced curse. We're not counting.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like, you know, I would say it's a one.

[Angela Giratana]

What? No, that's wrong.

[Vic Michaelis]

I feel like I'm on shrooms.

[Shane]

You think Frick is like a 2?

[Angela Giratana]

Frick is a 2 for sure. Because Frick being a short for would be a four. So then if you're downgrading it to a thing.

[Vic Michaelis]

Fricks a two.

[Angela Giratana]

Frix a two.

[Vic Michaelis]

Frixie two.

[Shane]

I understand one is a non curse one.

[Angela Giratana]

That's a one way from Angela. Shane, how you doing today?

[Shane]

Doing great.

[Angela Giratana]

Perfect.

[Shane]

Thank you, guys. Vic, thank you so much for being here. This has been truly the best hour of my life. So much fun.

[Angela Giratana]

This is so fun. I beg Angela every single day to let me come to work.

[Shane]

It's so wild because we've been asking for you and. And Angela's always like, vic is so busy, they can't come in.

[Vic Michaelis]

I don't say that. I'm always like, can we bring Vic in?

[Shane]

You do not. I.

[Angela Giratana]

Somebody's lying, and I can't wait to find out who.

[Shane]

Vic, is there anything you want to shout out or.

[Angela Giratana]

Yes, I would love to. There's obviously a lot of horrible bills happening around the country, so go find a local organization to support. I'd really appreciate it. Some that I really love is Zebra Youth in Orlando. Helps LGBTQ youth down there. Lost and Found Youth, based in Atlanta, is doing a lot of great work, but, yeah, really, anything that's local to you, you can definitely find organizations. You can't donate monetarily. You know, you can signal, boost their post, follow them, see if there's anything that they need.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that's the only monologue that matters today, Literally.

[Angela Giratana]

I wrote that out word for word, and I'm off book. I.

[Vic Michaelis]

You have that monologue down, and you're awesome for it. Thank you so much for coming.

[Angela Giratana]

Oh, thanks for having me this trouble. This was so fun, I can't even tell you. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.

[Shane]

God. All right, well, thank you all for watching, and we'll see you next week. Bye. Get your together.

[Vic Michaelis]

Get your sh. I'm a broke slave. What? Give me my money. Where's my money?