Smosh Mouth #108 – These Monologues Are For Teens w/ Vic Michaelis

Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Shane Topp, Angela Giratana
Guest: Vic Michaelis

Overview

This episode is a comedic and heartfelt exploration of youth theater culture, the bizarre world of teen monologue books, and the joys (and cringe) of acting advice gleaned from childhood journals. With guest Vic Michaelis, the crew revisits memories of auditioning, acting classes, and the strange materials written expressly for kids—while delivering their own outrageous dramatic performances.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Theater, Acting, and ‘Rancho Cucamonga’

• The hosts joke about Smosh’s fictional HQ in “Rancho Cucamonga,” riffing on LA/Hollywood culture.
• Conversation touches on escaping LA for smaller towns—the fantasy of starting a local theater company or teaching acting elsewhere.
  • Quote:
    “What if I started a little, tiny, tiny little theater here? ... Would it be able to do well?” — Shane (05:17)

2. Youth Theater Stories: Directors with Colorful Names

• All recall youth theater teachers with eccentric names and personalities, like “Ms. Sapphire Love.”
• Angela shares stories about Canadian community theater and directors who’d radically adapt shows for young casts (e.g., doing a nude scene from Hair as “letters in character and a stomp number”). [10:05]

3. The Absurdity—and Sincerity—of Acting Advice

• Angela brings in a well-worn theater journal from their youth. The group reads advice aloud, finding genuine value and unintentional comedy.
  • Quotes:
    “Drink your words in.” — Angela's journal (18:15)
    “If you don’t have an opinion, you aren’t doing your work.” — Angela’s journal (18:26)
• The trio muses on how formative and over-the-top such advice can be for teens.

4. Angela's Secret Martial Arts Past

• Angela reveals her background in Taekwondo and self-defense instruction, describing the discipline and culture of martial arts—connecting it to the obsessive teenage mentality in acting. [22:48-26:34]
• Delivers a brief primer on self-defense (“hammer fist” technique).
  • Quote:
    “This is the strongest part of your hand... you want to make it as tight as you can, your hand isn’t going to hurt as badly and it’s going to pack a lot more of a punch.” — Angela (27:17)

5. Monologue Books: A Teen Acting Rite of Passage

• Vic and Angela reminisce about monologue books: pre-written, often melodramatic scripts for young actors’ auditions. These books are both a hilarious and sometimes poignant window into adolescent theater.
  • Quote:
    “Growing up in theater... there were monologues written for kids to perform. At the time, I treated them very intensely. But now I have all these books of these insanely funny monologues.” — Vic (14:07)
• The group reads and performs several monologue samples—ranging from the comedic (“Dinosaurs in Eden”) to the surprisingly dark (topics like loss and even domestic violence aimed at kids aged 10–12).

6. Live Monologue Readings & Improv Auditions

Key segments and timestamps:

• [33:17] Shane performs “Dinosaurs in Eden” (9-12): A kid questions why there were no dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden, musing about biblical timelines and electric fences.
  • “If the Bible is right, then there should be velociraptors in the Garden of Eden … Surely you’d want to build some kind of home defense system with electric fences and guardrails.” — Shane as Terry (33:17)
• [38:08] Angela reads “Vacation Camping”—the Lumpy Ground Monologue: A child laments the misery of outdoor camping and eating 1,000 bugs.
• [50:04] Shane cold-reads “Lewis: The Hot Dog Kid” (7-10): A child with a singular obsession and hints of family troubles.
  • “I only eat hot dogs. You don’t have hot dogs... My little sister, she’s worse. She only eats chicken soup. She sticks her pigtails in the soup and sucks it up together.” — Shane as Lewis (50:14)
• [54:07] Vic gives an intense, horror-movie version of “Lewis”: Subtle family trauma and two snakes at home loom in the subtext.

7. On Crying for Camera (and the Absurd Pressure on Child Actors)

• Shane and Vic reflect on pressures for child actors to “cry on command”—with sometimes unhealthy or unteachable techniques.
  • “It was like, you gotta be able to cry on command... all you’re focused on... you kind of don’t act well.” — Shane (42:06)
• The crew agrees all child roles should be animated—less trauma for kids, more consistency for films/shows.
  • “Hot take: I don’t think we should ever have [kid actors] anymore. I think they should be animated.” — Vic (45:10)

8. Monologue Book Tropes: The Darkness and the Earnestness

• Discussion of the surprising “maturity mismatch” in school monologue books. Some are inappropriately dark for young readers.
  • [57:11] 10–12-year-old monologue: “discussion of domestic violence.”
• The group mocks breakdowns and casting calls for being absurdly detailed or inappropriate.

9. Playful Creation: Inventing Becky

• Vic presents an over-the-top breakdown for “Becky, 18–19”—adventurous, black sheep, left-handed, “sturdy actor, must have comedy chops, kind, smokes 15 cigarettes a day, but feeds her mom.”
• Angela reads Becky’s monologue, comically ambiguous:
  • “They say a broken clock is right twice a day. Sometimes I think I’m not even hitting that... Let’s feed mom.” — Angela as Becky (69:09)
• The team jokes about staging this play (“full Becky, full set, pit orchestra!”) and asks for fan art.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Drink your words in.” – Angela’s acting journal (18:15)
• “If you don’t have an opinion, you aren’t doing your work.” – Angela’s acting journal (18:26)
• “That's a monologue from God's Not Dead.” – Angela, roasting a melodramatic monologue (34:36)
• “All kid actors should be animated.” – Vic (45:10)
• “I love that monologue, I think I might pull out... They're gonna send me sides and I'm gonna say, I’ll do you one better.” – Angela (65:46)

Recurring Jokes & Callbacks

• Obsessive joking about “Rancho Cucamonga” as Smosh HQ and a mythical theater town.
• Return to acting advice (“Serve. Hit. Spike.” “Drink your words in.”)
• Failed attempts at crying on command.
• Parodying casting breakdowns for comedic effect.
• Angela’s running bit about “feeding mom” in the Becky monologue.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:05 Shane’s origin story in child acting & thoughts on leaving LA
• 10:05 Adapting “Hair” and cutting nudity with “letters and stomp”
• 18:15 Reading earnest advice from childhood acting journals
• 22:48 Angela’s martial arts history & self-defense tips
• 33:17 Shane’s “Dinosaurs in Eden” monologue
• 38:08 Angela’s lumpy ground/bad camping monologue
• 50:04 Shane's emotional “hot dog kid” performance
• 54:07 Vic’s horror-movie take on the “hot dog” monologue
• 58:22 Angela’s (fake) audition reading, which is actually a real review of Vic
• 69:09 Reading “Becky”—incomprehensibly layered character breakdown
• 71:58 Vic’s call to action for supporting LGBTQ+ youth organizations

Final Notes

The episode delivers a loving and laugh-out-loud skewering of teen theater tropes and the weird subculture of monologue books, shot through with personal stories and improvised performances. Anyone who grew up in/around drama club or children’s theater will find both sharp nostalgia and pointed parody—plus genuine acting tips and industry critique.

Memorable closing:

• Vic’s “monologue that matters”: a call for supporting LGBTQ+ youth organizations like Zebra Youth (Orlando), Lost and Found Youth (Atlanta), or finding local efforts. (71:58)
• Angela: “I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.” (72:31)

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a perfect mix of sketch and sincerity: delightfully silly for acting/theater nerds, packed with meta bits, and anchored by the real camaraderie between performers. If you’re ever nostalgic for that theater-kid chaos—or need a masterclass in monologue overacting—listen (or just imagine) these three book out some Disney-adjacent community theater, “feed mom,” and serve, hit, spike their way through the quirks of growing up on stage.