#122 - Solving Smosh's Problems: Holiday Edition

Summary

Smosh Mouth Episode #122 – “Solving Smosh’s Problems: Holiday Edition”

Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Shayne Topp ("Shane"), Amanda Lehan-Canto ("Amanda")
Special Guests: Rotating Smosh team members and friends

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Overview

In this fourth annual “We Solve Your Problems: Holiday Edition,” Shayne and Amanda tackle the unique, funny, and occasionally heartfelt holiday dilemmas of their Smosh colleagues and friends. From bathroom anxieties to Christmas music fatigue, and from complicated family traditions to the existential crisis of losing the "Christmas spirit," the team approaches each problem with humor, empathy, and a little bit of unfiltered (and occasionally rowdy) Smosh energy. The episode is marked by running jokes (Solvang, Clydesdales!), playful shaming, and ultimately a celebration of new traditions, boundaries, and embracing your own brand of holiday cheer.

Note: This summary focuses on the podcast’s problem-solving core and omits ad breaks and sponsor segments.

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Episode Structure & Key Discussion Points

1. Opening & Year-in-Review ([01:33]-[03:10])

• Shayne and Amanda reflect on the challenges and changes of the year—Amanda jokes about surviving pregnancy and filming while heavily pregnant.
• Kick off the tradition: “It’s our fourth time doing we solve your problems.” ([03:02], Amanda)

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2. Trevor’s Holiday Bathroom Anxiety ([05:08]–[10:10])

Problem:

Trevor struggles with bathroom anxiety—specifically, being unable to “go number two” at his parents’ crowded house during the holidays.

Key Moments:

• Trevor: “I have really terrible like bathroom anxiety… around the holidays, this is the worst part.” ([05:11])
• Amanda suggests 3 a.m. secret pooping trips; Shane proposes “owning it” with Clydesdale arms (a running joke).
• Amanda: “Be a fucking Clydesdale. Take huge dumps.” ([08:16])
• The group advocates confidence and perhaps even “weaponizing” the behavior to score a bathroom or scare family into hotels.
• Shane: “There’s nothing wrong with it. You have to poop.” ([09:26])
• Ultimately, the advice is to practice at Smosh, own the need, and embrace holiday realities.

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3. Kim’s Christmas Music Repetition Hell ([13:20]–[19:10])

Problem:

Kim’s mom obsessively blasts the same old Christmas songs on the radio, year after year; Kim wants new music options.

Insights:

• Amanda proposes making a custom Spotify playlist to introduce new music, but Kim’s mom is “radio for life.”
• Group discusses nostalgia, the “charming” aspect of old songs, and the burnout from the same 10 classics.
• Shane: “Christmas music starts, like, beginning of November. It used to be after Thanksgiving… now it’s too soon.” ([15:55])
• Amanda: “Radio is kind of charming though, especially at Christmas time.”
• Proposed solution: Gradually introduce change via playlists, or accept that this is now “your fate.”

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4. Anthony’s Christmas Tree Pyromania ([20:01]–[25:54])

Problem:

Anthony is captivated by the vintage idea of putting real candles on Christmas trees—despite the obvious fire risks.

Key Moments:

• Anthony: “It looks so cool… imagine real fire lit on these candles on a Christmas tree. That would be so sick.” ([21:30])
• Group cycles between fear (“you are legitimately playing with fire”) and the historical angle (Victorians actually did this).
• Amanda offers to “watch the tree for two weeks” as a holiday security guard.
• Amanda: “I’ll stay on your couch… I will put my whole body on that tree.” ([23:34], [23:47])
• Affectionate roasting about dangerous traditions and Amanda’s multitasking (babysitting and fire monitoring).

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5. Caitlin’s Hanukkah Calendar Crisis ([26:22]–[32:47])

Problem:

Caitlin, who is Jewish but not observant, is embarrassed that she never knows when Hanukkah is (thanks to the lunar calendar and being less connected).

Notable Exchange:

• Caitlin: “No Jew knows when Hanukkah is. That’s the thing. That’s the fun of it. It’s a surprise.” ([28:18])
• Group attempts to invent mnemonic devices, special “Hanukkah watches,” or suggest simply googling—but Caitlin wants dignity.
• Ultimately, they agree: “Hanukkah is a state of mind.”
  Amanda: “Just be confident… Hanukkah is a state of mind and just celebrate it whenever.” ([32:26])
• The solution is to embrace the uncertainty—and show up within the general week, saying “Happy Hanukkah” with confidence.

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6. Emily P.—The Reluctant Santa ([36:25]–[42:14])

Problem:

Emily P. is annually conscripted to play Santa in her giant family, despite feeling unfit for the role and tired of the tradition.

Highlights:

• Emily: “None of the men want to dress as Santa… I am the only one willing... but I don’t think I’m built for that.” ([37:11])
• Amanda runs a “Santa audition,” which Emily promptly bombs to much group laughter.
• Amanda: “Just be confident. Own the room. I think it’s time to hang up the suit.”
• Shayne: “You’ve earned a Christmas off from working at your family party.” ([41:48])
• Empowering pass-the-torch moment: let the new parents or “daddies” take up the suit, and Emily can just “look cute” for once.

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7. Emily Rose—New Year’s Resolution Aversion ([42:30]–[49:02])

Problem:

Emily doesn’t like the pressure and performative aspects of New Year’s resolutions, and wants advice on handling them or making them positive.

Wisdom Offered:

• Amanda: “I personally think it’s way too much pressure. I think you should have a New Year’s resolution at the end of October so you can simmer on it.” ([44:01])
• Shayne points out resolutions should be “day by day… baby steps,” and encourages little, enjoyable changes vs all-or-nothing goals.
• Amanda: “Do one fun thing a month you’d never do.” ([46:42])
• Shane: “I love seeing movies by myself… maybe next year, three solo movies is my goal.” ([47:11])
• The group advises focusing on self-nurturance and fun, not external pressures or big transformative goals.

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8. Chance—Outgrowing Family Traditions ([49:05]–[54:28])

Problem:

Chance’s family (now adult kids, various relocations, multicultural) has outgrown their old Christmas traditions, and he wonders what to do.

Ideas and Jokes:

• Amanda and Shane riff on possible “Christmas trips” (maybe to Solvang—a recurring punchline for the episode).
• Amanda: “Change the surroundings, and it’ll already feel like you refreshed everything.” ([51:04])
• Chance: “But they’re all white!... I need spice. I need flavor. They can’t do that.”
• The ultimate solution: Rent a place near downtown attractions, eat, drink, do something new—let new settings and activities birth new traditions.

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9. Lizzy—Competing with a Gift-Giving Legend ([54:32]–[62:39])

Problem:

Lizzy’s partner James is such an epic, creative gift-giver (he handcrafted a Twilight Clue board game!), she feels she can’t ever measure up.

Support & Suggestions:

• Amanda: “He might be Santa Claus.”
• Shayne: Suggests experiential gifts, like learning Magic: The Gathering to surprise him with a game, or even hiring Lord of the Rings cosplayers for a Solvang-based adventure.
• Amanda: “Just surrender to it. He’s just magic.” ([59:15])
• The solution: Focus on experiences and mutual appreciation, not competition; tap into shared fandoms and personal, creative gestures.

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10. Selena—Splitting Time Between Families ([63:54]–[69:56])

Problem:

Selena wants tips for balancing holiday time between her family and her husband’s, especially when both are geographically dispersed.

Group Experience:

• Amanda: “Thanksgiving and Christmas is a good time to split the time… I don’t like splitting the time on one holiday.”
• Shane: “It’s not a rigid rule. As long as you’re respecting each other and negotiating together, it shouldn’t feel like too much pressure.” ([65:32])
• The group validates flexible, rotating, boundary-setting approaches, even making new traditions (like “Christmas in LA”).
• Amanda: “You can… just draw that line, set those boundaries.”
• It’s okay to not do everything and to see families at times that work for you—even if that’s not the actual holiday.

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11. The Three Ghosts: Sarah, Alyssa, and Ollie—Rediscovering the Christmas Spirit ([70:00]–[79:56])

Problem:

As adults (with various religious backgrounds and baggage), the group feels disconnected from the “whimsy” and joy of Christmas.

Relatable Quotes:

• Sarah: “I used to love Christmas… and now, the whimsy is gone. I don’t know what happened in my soul, but I hate Christmas.”
• Alyssa: “I don’t think I ever found Christmas, you know?”
• Ollie (raised Jehovah’s Witness): “It’s hard to connect to Christmas now because I don’t have that nostalgia.”
• The group acknowledges family and expectation fatigue, travel woes, and the challenges of “forced” holiday happiness.

Solutions, Big and Small:

• Amanda: “The point of Christmas is to hang out with people you love and eat things you wouldn’t normally eat.” ([73:01])
• Shayne: “Christmas can be whatever you make it… make new traditions with your friends, your partners, or just yourself.”
• Amanda suggests making the holidays “spooky”—leaning into what you do enjoy, even if it’s a haunted house or veiled drama.
• Shayne: “You don’t have to put on a happy face for anybody. Be in your feels.” ([79:15])
• Permission to start from scratch, embrace authenticity, and value time off.

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12. Reflections on the Smosh Year and Team ([79:56]–[81:50])

• Gratitude for team members and their efforts, with shoutouts to behind-the-scenes staff.
• Amanda: “The holidays remind me how grateful I am for my job and the people around me. That’s really what Christmas is all about.” ([81:17])
• Shayne: “Take a breather… just hang out for Christmas.”

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Amanda: “Be a fucking Clydesdale. Take huge dumps.” ([08:16])
• Shayne: “We’re sending everyone to Solvang for Christmas.” (A theme. [62:33], multiple times)
• Caitlin: “No Jew knows when Hanukkah is. That’s the thing. That’s the fun of it.” ([28:18])
• Emily P.: (“Santa audition”) Ho, ho, ho… [group laughter] “That actually scared me.” ([39:56])
• Shayne: “Hanukkah is a state of mind.” ([32:26])
• Amanda: “You can start from scratch. Just do you.”
• Emily Rose: “He gets me what I didn’t know that I wanted.” ([58:46])
• Ollie: “I want that… I want to… I used to love Christmas. Again. This is the most, like, aggressive anti-Christmas I’ve ever felt in my life.” ([76:09])
• Shayne: “You don’t have to put on a happy face for anybody. Be in your feels.” ([79:15])
• Amanda: “If you do, it’s okay. Just get spooky with it.” ([81:53])

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Recurring Themes & Humor

• Solvang: The quaint, festive Danish village is the team’s running, tongue-in-cheek solution for every holiday woe.
• Clydesdales & Confidence: Owning your bodily functions and your life, “like a Clydesdale.”
• Empowerment through Boundaries: Repeated encouragement to set boundaries with family, traditions, and even one’s expectations of the holidays.
• Embracing Your Own Brand of Festivity: Whether spooky, chill, solitary, or extravagant—“make Christmas whatever feels good.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening/Year Recap: [01:33]–[03:10]
• Trevor’s Bathroom Anxiety: [05:08]–[10:10]
• Kim’s Christmas Music Issue: [13:20]–[19:10]
• Anthony’s Candle-Lit Tree: [20:01]–[25:54]
• Caitlin’s Hanukkah Calendar Problem: [26:22]–[32:47]
• Emily P. as Santa: [36:25]–[42:14]
• Emily Rose—New Year's Resolutions: [42:30]–[49:02]
• Chance—Tradition Redesign: [49:05]–[54:28]
• Lizzy—Gift-Giving Pressure: [54:32]–[62:39]
• Selena—Splitting Family Holidays: [63:54]–[69:56]
• The Christmas Spirit Crisis (Ghosts): [70:00]–[79:56]
• Reflections on Smosh Year: [79:56]–[81:50]
• Episode Closure: [81:50]+

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Takeaways for Listeners

• You are not alone if you feel overwhelmed, uninspired, or "behind" on holiday joy.
• Traditions can be broken, re-imagined, or started from scratch—there are no rules.
• Holiday confidence, vulnerability, and authenticity are worth more than perfection or forced festivity.
• If all else fails, go to Solvang.

Happy holidays, and may your problems be solved—or at least, laughed through!

Transcript

[A]

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The best part of holiday gifting?

[B]

Giving them something they'll use all year.

[A]

During December deal drops at Lowe's.

[B]

Save $40 on select Craftsman V20 tools. Now just $59 plus all rewards. Members get free standard shipping shop. New December deal drops every week. This month, Lowe's we help you save. Valid through 1210 while supplies last. Free shipping excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Exclusions and more terms apply. Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions subject to change. Visit lowe's.com shippingterms for details. Hi. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[A]

And I'm Amanda. And it feels so good to be back. It's the holidays.

[B]

Yeah. Can you believe it?

[A]

I can, actually.

[B]

You can? Yep. Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. I've been through a lot this year.

[B]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[A]

I can feel it.

[B]

Has this been the longest year of your life?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I don't mean that in a bad way. No.

[B]

But it's just been. There's been so much.

[A]

Every day feels like a year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's been incredible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause I have a newborn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a newborn and I'm here.

[B]

And what a journey that all was.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

For the entire year.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Every day was different.

[A]

I was watching back Summer Games and boy, oh, boy.

[B]

Woof, woof, woof.

[A]

It's like me during Moosemaster. I am a. Mm.

[B]

Honey.

[A]

Someone should have hauled me out of there quick. I am like at a. Like, my body's like basically perpendicular and I have a fan. I'm dripping sweat. My hair looks insane. That jean dress, it barely fits. Yeah, I was like, get this woman off set.

[B]

Yeah, you were, you were. You pushed yourself. Cause you were here until like 8.

[A]

And a half months pregnant. I was here until I remember.

[B]

Shake on spit.

[A]

Vidcon.

When is it going to pop out?

And who wins anyways? I'm so excited to be back. This is my favorite episode that we do.

[B]

I. I have a lot of fun with it too.

[A]

It's our fourth time doing we solve your problems.

[B]

Yeah. Can you believe it? Can you believe it?

[A]

I can't believe it.

[B]

To the cameras now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we put up that photo of Tommy with the blown out photo of him? That is my favorite photo from this year.

[A]

I think he looks incredible as Ripley.

[B]

It's so great.

[A]

I just love him. I'm excited to. Who. We're gonna have to.

[B]

I know, I know. We got a lot of people. They're all off over there.

[A]

They're all.

[B]

And I'm saddened that there's this many problems going on here at Smoth.

[A]

I bet there's more.

[B]

There's probably so much more.

[A]

I mean, Duran is in here. I'm sure he's got just littered with problems.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's the holidays.

[B]

It's the holidays.

[A]

His dad is still.

Listen, hey, hey.

[B]

Duran Duran would be laughing if.

[A]

Hey, don't do this. Don't make me feel this way.

[B]

Can someone bring a problem that is somehow worse than Matt Duran's, is the question.

[A]

I don't think so. Actually.

[B]

Every single time he visited, it was a total ride.

[A]

Yeah. And he sat on your lap.

[B]

He did.

[A]

That was a ride for you or for him?

[B]

For him it was a ride.

[A]

Yeah, he was riding.

[B]

I was the Clydesdale.

[A]

You were the Clydesdale. And honestly with that, should we bring in our. Yeah, let's bring it. Should we bring in our own Clydesdale right now? Oh, Trevor.

[B]

Our first problem, Trev, however, it's because of his sweater.

[A]

It's my sweater.

[B]

It's my sweater.

[A]

He's wearing the old school Budweiser Clydesdale. Remember those ads they don't do.

[B]

Oh, yeah. They still sometimes do them. Yeah. Oh, they bring them out sometimes. Every once in a while. Clydesdale scared the shit out of me.

[A]

Have you ever been on a Clydesdale?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

Where were you? I didn't know that you could ride them.

[A]

I thought.

[B]

I didn't know anyone could get up There.

[A]

Yeah, well, well, big girl can get up there.

[B]

I literally don't need any help.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Hey, big girl.

[A]

I just swing my leg. Oh, yeah, you're back on. Hey, Trevor, I'm back.

[B]

Okay, this is the third episode we recorded you back. I was in one of them. I was in one of the first two.

[A]

Yeah, but every time you come back, it just, I don't know. Too soon grates on me.

[B]

Too soon. Every time I come back too soon.

[A]

I'm just kidding. We love you.

[B]

Yeah, no, I have a very serious problem today.

[A]

Okay, let's go.

[B]

Your time starts. Okay. This is really important to me. This is a problem that I've struggled with since I was a child. I have really terrible like bathroom anxiety. Okay. So it's since I was a kid. It took me like a really long time into my adult life to even be able to like pee urinals in public. I've never been able to poop in public. I just have really bad like bathroom anxiety. But then around the holidays, this is the worst part is because staying like with my parents at my parents house and there's a bunch of family around and there's. The house is always full and there's always people. I can't, I get really constipated and I can't like go number two at home and it really sucks. And I'm like, I have to find a safe space to go to the bathroom and I need help because I can't be constipated every Christmas.

[A]

You can't. You literally can't. There's too much food. It's got more food to fit.

[B]

It's like really bad. It's a serious issue. Help me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Fast. I need help. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[A]

Does sound machines help?

[B]

No. Well, what is the anxiety? What's going through your head?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like one people being able to like hear me. Even like, even if I'm like, oh, nobody's upstairs, let me go upstairs. Because at my parents house the upstairs bathroom is like one of the connected between two bedrooms.

[A]

Oh, you don't like that?

[B]

So then it's like, it's like anyone could like my brother could just like go into the bedroom, whatever, and then he hears me in there pooping up a storm or something.

[A]

I mean definitely, if you're constipated for that long.

[B]

And then like obviously you know, I don't want to leave his stinky bathroom. Okay. And like you know, you can poo pourri it, but it's Everybody still knows. Yeah, totally.

[A]

So what if you did it at like three in the morning? You set your alarm. You did it at three in the morning.

[B]

You had a little bit of sound. Batman.

Like, I am the night God. But seriously, you think the doctors is your ally? My brother coming downstairs at 3am you think the doctors, he's the poop joker. He's going to find you. I was pooped in it. Okay, so it doesn't even matter if you're like in. In one part of the house while everybody else is in the other part of the house. I think. I think it helps, but I think my body just can't relax enough because I have. I'll go down like late at night. I'm usually up later than everyone and I'll go downstairs. But even then, like, I'm always just so tense, like. Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

Okay, okay, first of all, this is very common. Second of all, what is the worst thing that could happen? Someone comes in and go smelly down here?

[B]

Yeah, that's the worst. Someone could go be like, oh, my God, Trevor, did you just rip that up and. Yeah.

[A]

And what?

[B]

And that's just. You just don't want that. And then I'll cry.

[A]

And then what?

[B]

I feel like that's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. Me crying in front of everyone because.

[A]

My poop is stinky.

[B]

That's pretty bad. I think maybe. Maybe you need to own it. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Envision that where they're like, oh, my God, stinky. And you go, you're damn right.

[A]

You're damn right it's stinky.

[B]

Oh, sorry. That I'm the real man of this house. Deal with it.

[A]

Be a fucking Clydesdale. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Take huge dumps.

[B]

Have you seen Clydesdales will just shit right there in front of everybody. And they're launching it.

[A]

Oh, my God. And Budweiser was like, we want you. We still want to hire you.

[B]

Okay, that's really good advice. Your advice to me is just to be confident. Clydesdale's own it so much that at Disneyland, someone is someone's job just to walk behind them and be ready for it at any moment.

[A]

Exactly. And that could be anybody.

[B]

That could be me.

[A]

You could be the person that walks behind you, ready to die.

[B]

That could be me. Wow. Just go in there, be unabashedly myself. Be confident. You know, I'm gonna try it.

[A]

It's the holidays, man.

[B]

I'm not even gonna poo pourri it. I'm just gonna own it.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

I'M just gonna get in there.

[A]

You could do a quick.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, no, you're right. No, I don't. Don't. You know what?

[B]

If my brother and his wife don't wanna get a hotel room, if they wanna stay in my parents house too, then I'm gonna be pooping in there.

[A]

See? That's right.

[B]

Scare them out of there. Make them get a hotel room. Thank you. That's my goal. That's my goal is to poop so bad that it makes my family literally not want to be in the house.

[A]

Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with it. You have to poop. I do. People have to poop. I do.

[B]

I have to poop right now.

[A]

Actually. You should go. Get out of here, man.

[B]

I'm gonna go do it. Hey, Smosh, look out. Watch out for this bathroom because I'm about to go tear it up. Okay, you got it.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

You got it, Trevor.

[A]

Okay, you know what?

[B]

Actually, realistically, I'm probably going to go home and poop, so.

[A]

Listen, also last thing, maybe you should practice pooping here.

[B]

Yeah, practice here. Much to our dismay.

[A]

Practice here.

[B]

Every once in a while. I can. Okay, we're going to start leaving a bowl of dates out in the lobby for everyone so that you can eat those. Hey, I'm not going to eat them. But thank you. Thank you, everyone.

[A]

A bowl of dates.

[B]

My problem is solved.

[A]

Go forth, young boy. Wow, I shouldn't have called him young boy. After all that confidence talk, we definitely.

[B]

Ruined Christmas for someone. Yeah, I don't know who.

[A]

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[A]

They call you Bozo?

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[A]

Get out of here, Bozo.

[B]

All right, our next problem is from Kim.

[A]

Kim.

[B]

Kim.

[A]

Hi. Hi. How are you guys? Newly married?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're still a newlywed? I guess you're still a newlywed. For years I'VE decided. Hi. What's your problem?

So another very serious problem. Yeah. I love my mom, and I love her love for Christmas. Oh, yeah. But every year, you know, we go to my hometown in Texas for the holidays, and she is obsessed with always playing the holiday radio station. Yeah. And, you know, I love a good Christmas song. Not gonna be. Not gonna lie. But it's like the same 10 songs that we play over and over again. It's like, how do. How do I get her to play different stuff? Because she's so attached to it. Like, it's. No, this is real. This is real. Because I feel like it's kind of part of the holidays is you hear the same song. Like, Michael Buble is super big during the holidays, and that's all you hear.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Does she have a CD player?

I don't know.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I think that maybe.

[B]

Does she have an ipod nano?

[A]

Does she have an ipod nano hookup through the. What does she have, like, for her sound system? That's a good. She has her phone. That's. Could you make her a little playlist before you get there? Share it with her on Spotify and then have her play that. Okay. She learns a new thing. She doesn't have Spotify, but I can always make her an account, I guess. Oh, she's a radio for life woman.

[B]

So, wait, sorry. Going back, you. Do you. How do you feel about Christmas music in general?

[A]

I actually don't mind it. I actually really love Sabrina Carpenter's.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Very good. But, like, that doesn't play that much. Yeah.

[B]

That's newer because it's. When you're putting stuff on the radio, it's gonna be the old stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bing Crosby.

[A]

Yes. It's that. That all the time. Every year.

[B]

Harry Como.

[A]

So fun that you know all these names. I just know the song, but it's Frank Sinatra. Oh, I know Frank.

[B]

Yeah, I know Frank. Yeah. You know.

[A]

Yeah. And Michael Buble. Yeah.

[B]

He's kind of. He's making his way towards being part of that crew.

[A]

Yeah. No, he's basically there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He didn't do anything else other than that.

[B]

That's kind of true.

[A]

It's terrible. Do you like listening to?

[B]

I really. I really do. It depends on the context. When I was a kid, I loved it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was obsessed.

[A]

Same.

[B]

I think the problem is it starts too early now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Christmas music starts, like, beginning of November. It starts literally the day after Halloween. And that. It used to be after Thanksgiving.

[A]

Yeah. Not fun.

[B]

And now it starts too soon. I get burnt out so. And it also depends on where I'm at. Like, at a mall. It sounds amazing. Like, I like it as atmospheric.

[A]

But in the car. Do you expect to be in the car a lot with your mom? Yes. Why? Well, it's Texas, so there's no public transportation. Got it, got it, got it, got it.

[B]

So you're on your Clydesdales.

[A]

So you're. No, we don't actually ride horses everywhere to everyone's dismay. I'm sorry. I personally think my idea about the playlist is probably the best solution here. Or you're gonna have an intervention with your mom. I don't know. Either one could work, right? She already texted us that. She's like, oh, it's.

What is it? I feel like I'm getting so a big family text. Splash is like, it's Christmas.

[B]

It's on the Christmas music.

[A]

She's like, it's on. My poor dad. Aw.

[B]

My mom is obsessed with Christmas, too. And some of my oldest brother is just kind of like, whatever, doesn't want to get into the spirit. And my mom is always like, oh, let's all get together for a photo. And it's so hard to wrangle us all.

[A]

What's the thing that's written in your house? That's really funny.

[B]

Family.

Put your arms around each other and be there.

[A]

And there's nothing better than that.

[B]

And whenever Courtney looks at it, she goes, family, put your arms around each other. Be there. Be there.

[A]

Just be there.

[B]

Be there. I don't know that it's. When it comes to Christmas time, if you have a mom who's super into Christmas, that is. That is a tsunami of emotion.

[A]

Yes. I. I don't know. I think that you could, you know, change it up this year. Make her a little playlist and then show her Spotify, and then download the app on Spotify and then keep up playlists for the rest of your life and send them to her. I just might. I know my dad's kind of like a Pandora person. Pandora. And.

[B]

Sorry, the problem you brought up your mom is the problem. Your dad's listening to Pandora. That's the problem.

[A]

Sirius Radio and Pandora. What?

[B]

My dad is stuck in the year 2011.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We have to help get him out.

[A]

Yeah. I just need to show them Spotify. It sounds like that. Or just admit that this is your life now.

[B]

There's something charming about the radio, though, especially Christmas time.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. That donkey song's always on. You know, the Christmas Donkey.

Donkey.

[B]

What radio station are you listening?

[A]

To Emily from Texas knows what I'm talking about. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. Thanks. It's like Dunk the Donkey. Whoa. You guys really aren't listening to me.

[B]

I've never heard this. This sounds like the worst song ever made.

[A]

And it is on often. Anyway, that's my solution. Shane, you feel good or.

[B]

Kim, how do you feel?

[A]

I think that's a solution I'm gonna try. Okay, Kim. Well, thanks for being here, Kim. Always happy to help. Thank you, guys. Pandora.

[B]

Enjoy the radio.

[A]

Enjoy the radio.

[B]

Okay, our next problem comes from. What's his name? Anthony.

[A]

Antony.

[B]

Antony.

[A]

Aunt Tony. That's right.

[B]

Anthony, the Cryptid is here.

[A]

Oh, my God, the Cryptid.

[B]

Yeah, I saw that episode, Shane. Okay, I heard what you called me.

[A]

Okay, Shane, you gotta stop calling Anthony names. Cause he's always gonna come on here and say it.

[B]

I think it's high praise. Been called Cryptid. Bigfoot's also Cryptid. He's awesome. You were the first one to say, where's Anthony? You were the first one to call me a Cryptid. A Bigfoot. Okay?

[A]

And I was polite. I never did any of that shit.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

See?

[B]

And this is why he loves me more.

[A]

Bitch, you're cool too. Oh, my God, Keith.

Oh, my God. Anthony, you haven't been on We Solve your Problems ever. No, no.

[B]

Wait, really? Oh, shit.

[A]

Yeah. No, this is his first time.

[B]

I don't think I've been on Smoshmouth in over a year. Oh, damn. I don't think I've been in any swash content for over a year, actually. Okay, well, that's not our.

[A]

We didn't.

[B]

I feel like. Speaking of. Speaking of crypts, it's because of Shane. Okay. Speaking of Cryptids, I feel like on Bit City, you literally show up like Bigfoot. You'll be like, there, and then you, like, don't go through the set. That's true. We're like, wait, what was that? It's true. That is true. And you give someone a tattoo and then you leave. That's fair. Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I will say, like, it's scary. If you have a problem. I hope that's not a problem for everybody here. Yeah, I got a problem. You're like. You're like. Things are not looking good. No, no, no. Today my problem has to do with Christmas trees. Christmas trees.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

All right, so ever since I was a kid, you know, in the cartoons and, you know, old timey depictions of Christmas trees, I would see that these Christmas trees had candles that were lit with real fire. And it looks so cool. And then I would look at my scrawny little Christmas tree with its weak little baby lights or, you know, way back in the day, those big, big ass bulbs that were like painted and the paint was chipping off, they still have those, I mean, fire hazards. So if there's already fire hazards in my house, why can't I like. Okay, here, let me, let me show you. I googled.

[A]

Oh, my God. Picture reference.

[B]

Yeah, picture reference. You're talking like, look at this old timey shit that I Google. Yeah, I type, I type. Do you want real lit candles? 19th century, when they would literally light candles on a tree. Yeah. Look how sick it looks.

[A]

Okay, Anthony, it does look sick. This is a very scary, spooky photo. She is.

[B]

It's also colorized in post because this is black and white and very creepy. I had to get the colorized version.

[A]

So you basically want real candle candles lit on your Christmas tree.

[B]

Yeah. It looks so cool. The aesthetic is amazing. It does look, when I Google it, I also get images like this. That's awesome. Yeah, just like a bunch of old people trying to put out a fire on their Christmas tree. Someone took a photo of that. Yeah, someone tried this didn't help and went. So this is my fear this is going to happen when I try it. But I really think it would just be so cool to have like imagine you go over to someone's house and there's. There's real fire lit on these candles on a Christmas tree. That would be so sick. I mean, it would be sick.

[A]

I think people feel a little like, stress.

[B]

I'd be a little on edge for sure. Because. Yeah. Although in the 1800s they were doing that. They were also like, you know, they were using heroin for when they had a cough.

[A]

They were sick. Women were eating moldy bread and then called witches. Yeah. That's literally the witch trials. Yes.

[B]

Wait, what? I love Lizzie over there.

[A]

Like, no, Lizzie went no fetch.

[B]

I'm pretty sure that was just some Good old fashioned 1700s misogyny.

[A]

Yeah. But no, no, no, it was. And also they were eating mold.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Anyways, pretty cool.

[B]

Did they actually light their Christmas trees with candles back then? Actually did, yeah. So it's possible.

[A]

So it is possible.

[B]

I think if the, if the pine tree is like watered enough, it's not going to like, catch. And also if it's angled right. But you are legitimately playing with fire.

[A]

You need a strong girl. You need a strong girl. Meaning the tree Oh, I was looking at you.

[B]

Yeah. If you go to a Christmas tree.

[A]

You need a strong girl to come over there and light those candles for you. And you know what? I'll stay on your couch and watch.

[B]

Watch the candles go down. You need someone to watch it 24 7. Oh, that is the solution.

[A]

What? Yes.

[B]

So I can get my Christmas tree with its real fire lit candles. But I just need to pay someone to watch it constantly.

[A]

Yeah. And if anything happens, I will put my whole body on that tree.

[B]

On the tree. Are you looking for a job this Christmas?

[A]

Yes. I would love to work on Christmas.

[B]

I know you have a newborn, Amanda, but maybe you can watch my Christmas tree. Amanda's got nothing else to do.

[A]

I'll find a babysitter for you. Probably need them lit for a day. Two days.

[B]

I'm thinking probably two weeks. You know, to get in the Christmas spirit. Wow. Christmas. How long do you have your Christmas trees up before Christmas?

[A]

I'm finding candles that last two weeks.

[B]

Well, they're being swapped out, but they're constantly lit.

[A]

Okay, wait a second. Whoa. You need me to watch light swap out and then use.

[B]

If you're volunteering, yes. That was literally like a job in London where they would go around lighting the street lamps. You're that true.

[A]

And you know what? I could see you doing that, too.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

Climb up there with a little me.

[B]

With a mustache that does this.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

I feel like you'd be dead. Or your Ollie character. Ollie, Ollie.

[A]

Ollie.

[B]

Lighting the street lights.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

This beautiful Christmas tree.

[A]

See, I picture that's you. Yeah. Okay, so Ollie all sleep on Anthony's couch for two weeks.

[B]

Thank you. Watch his Christmas tree.

[A]

Thank you. I'll swap. I'll sing.

[B]

You're the full package.

[A]

I know. Oh, God, Anthony.

[B]

They really say that?

[A]

I. I literally know. It's crazy.

[B]

Wow. Wow. So, Well, I. I hope to not read any headlines of your house catching on fire.

[A]

I've got him.

[B]

Okay. Amanda will be there.

[A]

So will you, like, have a party, or is it just you just want to, like, go to bed?

[B]

Just good vibes, you know? No parties. Just real chill. Just a chill Christmas. Would you be more inclined to want to be there if I had a party? Is that what you're.

[A]

No, actually, no. I don't think I'd want to sleep on the couch while you had a whole party.

[B]

Well. Cause you can't participate in the party. You're watching the tree.

[A]

I'm working. Yeah, I'm like a security guard.

[B]

Serious guy.

[A]

So I wouldn't want to party.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because then I couldn't. I'd have to be under the blankets the whole time.

[B]

That's. Yeah. Are security guards not allowed to have a good time at parties and. I think so. Cause, like, at a concert, you go to a concert and they're just security guards. They're not allowed to look at it. I'm like, bro, music is amazing. Bob your head or something.

[A]

But they can't even.

[B]

It's illegal to bob your head if you're being paid. It's an intense job. You need intense focus.

[A]

So that'll be me. I will not bob my head. Cool.

[B]

Okay. Cool. Well, thank you, guys. That is literally solving problem solved problem. Sol, thank you. Enjoy your Christmas tree.

[A]

Enjoy your Christmas tree. And I'll see you. See you soon.

[B]

I'll see you in a couple weeks. Couple days. Yeah.

[A]

See ya. Bye. Anthony. Tony. Aunt.

[B]

Yeah, it all works.

[A]

Yeah. He likes. He likes them all. Sometimes I call him Ant, and I have fun with that.

[B]

All right, that's fine. All right. Caitlin. Caitlin.

[A]

Caitlin.

[B]

Welcome. Caitlin.

[A]

Hi, Caitlin. Caitlyn. Hi. Caitlyn is fairly new to smosh. Seven months. Yeah, something like that. Oh, my God. Am I incredible or what? My God, I feel really seen and validated. Thank you. You're welcome.

[B]

How's it been? How's the seven months been? Bad. Yeah.

[A]

And we're here to talk about it.

[B]

Entirely fair.

You deal with scheduling, which I can't imagine at a place like this.

[A]

Not my thing. It's complicated. But I was just being cheeky. I was having fun. I really love it here, and I love the people. I'm very happy to be here. Yay. Okay, but what's your problem?

[B]

Yeah, but you have a problem.

[A]

Yes, I have a big problem. I am Jewish, and. Well, that's not the problem.

I am Jewish, Ann. And that's fine. I'm Jewish, and there's a holiday coming up. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's Hanukkah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing about Hanukkah and all Jewish holidays in general is that they do not respect the Gregorian calendar. They are based on a lunar calendar, so they're all over the calendar. Like, you can never tell when a Jewish holiday is coming up. And I have no idea when Hanukkah is. The issue is because I'm just, like, not that observant. I don't believe in God or whatever. Totally. Y.

Yeah. Dropping. Dropping a. Too real. Never. People keep coming up to me to say, like, oh, isn't like, Hanukkah coming up. Like, when. When are you going home to, like, see your family? When's Hanukkah? I have no answer for them. It's really embarrassing because this is my, you know, culture, and I know next to nothing about it.

[B]

So does your family expect you to know? Like, is your family, like, oh, are you coming to visit? Are you gonna be here?

[A]

Here's the thing. I'll get these texts that are like, are you coming home from Hanukkah? And guess. But, like, when? Like, what did. And did they know? No, no Jew knows. No Jew knows when Hanukkah is.

[B]

That's the thing. That's the fun of it. It's a surprise.

[A]

Surprise. I'm really glad you're asking me and Shane this. Yep. I thought, you know what? I need two Gentiles to help me. Born in the castle church.

[B]

You know that and that. We're really good with our schedules. You know that. I'm so good at knowing.

[A]

I'm very good.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, you are. And I am, too. And I. Because I am very good at keeping track of stuff. And I know what.

[A]

Oh, my God, you're a nightmare.

[B]

I did have to think for a second, and I was like, that's right. It is Tuesday. So.

[A]

Good Lord, I have a baby, and I know what day it is.

[B]

Well. Cause the baby tells you it's Tuesday.

[A]

Mommy.

[B]

Hey, Mommy. Poopy change now.

[A]

And it's Tuesday. Mommy.

[B]

Your baby's first word is Tuesday.

[A]

Tuesday. But it was on a Thursday. That's the first.

[B]

You're off when it's Hanukkah.

[A]

Please, please help me. Please help me, Mommy. When is Monica? And the thing is, like, I could Google it, but it's very embarrassing to have Google it in front of me.

[B]

This is a pride thing.

[A]

It's a pride thing. So they're using the lunar calendar, and you don't like that? I love it. Well, there's nothing cooler than the moon.

[B]

If they're using the lunar calendar. Can't you just, like, some night, like, look up at the moon, be like, oh, yeah, Hanukkah's in two days. The moon's like, I got you.

[A]

Well, I can't talk to the moon because I'm Jewish.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That'S not, like, a power we have.

[B]

I don't know if that's a religious thing. I think that might just be a me thing.

[A]

Okay. That's the werewolf. I talk to the moon a lot.

[B]

You would talk to the moon.

[A]

I'm like, hello, Moon. And my baby's like, yeah, yum. Good night, moon.

[B]

Good night, porridge.

[A]

Good night porridge.

And I wish I could say goodnight noises everywhere to the people who are asking me. But what I. I guess like, the specific thing I would love to get from you guys is like, can you help me with like a mnemonic device or something to memorize the date of Hanukkah 2025?

[B]

Cause I know what day it is.

[A]

What about like a watch that. That's.

[B]

That only has those days.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Like, doesn't it? You can have like an interface that tells you the day that Hanukkah starts. That's a thought. Or you get a new calendar that literally is 2025 and it says when Hanukkah starts. But then you have to get another calendar for the next year. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I don't know if I have like a two calendar budget right now. I just started working here. Oh, they're not paying you enough? No, they pay, they pay me fine. Hey, they pay me fine. Hey, Caitlyn, you're not getting enough money. It's fine. It's.

[B]

We could talk about all the time for seven months. We're gonna put you on the spot right here in this podcast.

[A]

It's an incredibly competitive wage for this industry. Totally. Right? So yeah, let me think on that. I feel like you're good with numbers, right, Shane? Yeah.

[B]

Oof.

[A]

Throw me for a loop on this one.

[B]

I am so bad with calendars that this is. This. Guys, I'm your phone.

[A]

What about your phone? It's just the pulling out of my phone in front of people to check. That feels like I failed my ancestors.

[B]

Think you may. Look, if I'm being honest here, I think 2025 might be a wash. I think you might have to get a 2026 calendar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And next year you can nail it.

[A]

I do that thing.

[B]

You're gonna have to guess this year.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

You're gonna have to just show up to your family's house and be like, happy Hanukkah.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And also there's a couple days like, you, you may not, you may not nail it the first day, but you're there within that.

[A]

And then you just, you got a few days. Oh, it's like when you forget someone's name, you go, oh my God, it's so good to see you, Chan. It's Chan.

[B]

Chan.

[A]

So Chan. And you just do that with dates. Okay. You're like, oh my God, I can't Wait to see you on Hanukkah. So it's eight crazy nights and just show up anywhere that I think that it might start at my parents house.

[B]

I wonder if you rewatch that movie if they say the dates in it for 2025. For 2025.

[A]

I don't know if that'll help.

[B]

Yeah, probably not.

[A]

Okay, so you're saying just like be confident and just Hanukkah is a state of mind and just celebrate it whenever. That's our lead. That's our main thing that we're gonna say to most people.

[B]

It's like the same exact as dating advice. Just like be really confident into the room and just own the room. And just be there.

[A]

Just own the room, Caitlin. Yeah, Okay, I will. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good luck with everything. Okay. Happy holidays. Happy Hanukkah.

[B]

Happy holidays. Happy Hanukkah.

[A]

Yeah. Do you know when Hanukkah is this year? You.

[B]

Well, you know.

[A]

Well, you know.

[B]

You know, isn't it. It's before Christmas, right? It's like, it's.

[A]

It.

[B]

It's like. Isn't it like this? I'm gonna throw out a date. The 16th.

[A]

You play.

[B]

We're playing Battleship, but with. With holidays.

[A]

I bet it's the 19th.

[B]

All right. Is it really? It's the 12th.

[A]

It's the 14th. Oh, I.

[B]

Well, that's when the start of it is.

[A]

Yeah. Then.

[B]

So the 16th is one of them.

[A]

Yeah. And so is the 19th one of the days. See? Being confident.

[B]

So we were all correct. And we were all correct.

[A]

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[A]

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Yes. I love it. They give you alerts if a bill increases or you're about to go over budget. I would love to still hit my savings goal after the holidays. And Rocket Money can help me with that.

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[A]

Let's go. Our next lady is going to be Santa, AKA Emily.

[B]

Emily Parker.

[A]

Emily P. Emily Parker.

[B]

Emily P. Hello. Hello, Santa.

[A]

Do you want to be Santa or Emily? I'll be Emily. Oh, my issue today. As you can See why it's an issue? Because I was like, how do I get out of playing Santa every year for my family parties? And Selena was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna get you a Santa suit. Oh. So she made the trauma last.

[B]

Yeah, you have to play Santa.

[A]

This is the issue every year is that I dress up as Santa. And I don't think I'm like Bill for that.

I don't. Yeah, let's get into that. Shane Fair. I don't think I'm built for that.

My family's huge. My mom is one of 13 children. Our family Christmas party has so many men at it. None of them want to dress as Santa, but they should. And I am the only one willing to dress as Santa for the kids. Oh, it's for the kids. So there are children present. There are children present, and none of the men want to do it. Why? Because they're tired of doing what? I really. I really don't know. I don't know if at this point, it's because they, like, think it's funny that I come out as Santa. I'm always, like, cute for the family Christmas party. And then I'm a couple drinks in, and someone comes up and is like, you gotta be Santa again. And I'm like, all right, Emily, you don't have to do anything. Cause you know what? Those kids are gonna be fine.

[B]

What?

[A]

No, no. I'm getting there. Hold on. Listen. In their mind, they've gotta figure the kids are all right. Where are you, Chris? Such a good song.

[B]

Okay. How old are all these kids?

[A]

So all my cousins are having babies as well as, like, my siblings. So some of them are.

[B]

And a new wave of kids that you get.

[A]

So this is never gonna happen. It's like, one to eight year olds right now, and we have four newborns on the way.

[B]

That is exhausting.

[A]

How can the parents of the children take over?

[B]

I don't want to add pressure to this, but it sounds like you are the atlas holding up the world, but the world is Christmas in your family.

[A]

Yeah. So true. I dress as Santa. I take pictures with all of the kids. I, like, have the beard, the wig, boots, belt. And you don't want to because it's not. It just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm not cut out to be Santa. This is kind of my tone at all times, as you guys are familiar with. You're like a hipster Santa, and. Yeah. And I could make.

[B]

This has the vibe of an LA writer. I don't know what's going on?

[A]

What do you. What do you need? This is just, like, the general, like, flatline. And do kids love it or are they a little bit confused? I think they're a little confused. Cause I also don't live there for the new wave of kids, so a lot of them, like, don't even know who this character is.

[B]

So you truly are Santa.

[A]

I'm kind of just Santa, but I'm the Santa that. When they're like, I have to hand out presents, too. When they're like, can I open this yet? I'm like, yeah, I don't care. And then I'm like, oh, my God. Wait, I'm Santa. And, like, I'm not cut out for that. So basically, what is your.

[B]

What does your ho, ho, ho sound like?

[A]

Bad. Maybe this can be. Because I don't think I'm gonna get out. Let me hear. This is gonna be.

[B]

This is gonna gauge whether I think you're cut out to be Santa.

[A]

Yeah, let's. Let's. Let's.

[B]

And I'm gonna be honest with you.

[A]

Yeah. I'm gonna be a casting director. All right.

[B]

I'm gonna. Listen.

[A]

This is too earnest for me. I'm not. Again, I'm just not built for it. To read the lines. Okay.

[B]

Just go for it.

[A]

Ho, ho, ho.

[B]

Oh, that's terrible. That's really bad.

[A]

Somebody's sick. That actually scared me a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, that's tough. That's tough.

[A]

Yeah. Just a baby on my lap looking up at me, and I'm like, ho, ho, ho. What do you want for Christmas? Yeah, listen, Em, I think. I think it's time to hang up the suit. Yeah. And maybe pass it on to a parent who decided to have the child and they should take.

[B]

And that's. And she's. A parent. She can say that. She can say that shit now.

[A]

I can say that shit. I can fucking say that. I see you people. I can say that shit now.

[B]

New skill unlocked.

[A]

New skill unlocked.

[B]

You're talking shit on parents.

[A]

Bullshit.

Yeah. I think you're done. Yeah, dude, I can just be done. Just be confident.

[B]

Just be confident. Own the room.

I know what it's like, though, because this is a family tradition problem. You've fallen into being the family tradition of doing this, and you're kind of tired of it. When did you start doing it? Were you a kid when you started doing it?

[A]

No, it's been recent years, so it started like, this will be my third year being Santa. Like, it's pretty new.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The first year was Just because my nephew was too young to be brought to the mall, and my sister wanted, like, a mall Santa picture, so my mom bought a whole Santa suit, and my dad refused to put it on. So I was like, give me the suit. I'll take a picture with the baby. Wow. So you did it out of necessity. That time has passed. Yeah. It's okay. You can pass on the suit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And these daddies can step up.

I love daddies. Such a funny word. Daddies. These daddies can step up and put on the suit. Cause you know what, honey? You deserve to look cute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That rhymed.

[B]

That means it's destiny.

[A]

That rhymed.

[B]

I think you've. I think you've earned a Christmas off from working at your family party.

[A]

Agreed. They can take photos with you without the Santa suit because you're Emily now. You're not Santa anymore. You're so right. Thank you. I don't. I don't even need this beard.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Whoa. Trash it. Oh. Oh, God.

[B]

And it won't come off. It's chosen you.

[A]

Yeah. The end of the hat. That is tough. Thank you. You're welcome.

[B]

Thank you. All right. Good luck.

[A]

So welcome. Good luck.

[B]

Good luck to you, Emily.

[A]

Wow. That's a real issue.

[B]

That's. That's tough to be.

[A]

To be the auntie is. It's a thing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of pressure.

[A]

It's a lot of pressure, man.

[B]

Okay, our next problem comes from another. Emily. Emily Rose.

[A]

Emily Rose.

Get over here. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[B]

Hi. A cowboy Christmas oh, my God.

[A]

It's a cowboy Christmas Yee haw. You look beautiful. Thank you. Welcome. I get to wear this hat. No one ever sees it. So I was like, I gotta wear the hat.

[B]

You gotta wear the hat.

[A]

God, it's so good. Thank you. Okay.

[B]

How many cowboy hats do you own?

[A]

One.

[B]

This is your.

[A]

This is it. Oh, wow. I mean. I mean, I have more boots than hats. Like, boots. It's like, you have a good hat. You have a good hat. Do people wear hats in Texas?

[B]

Oh, yeah, they do.

[A]

Who are you?

[B]

Cowboy hats. Truly. Like, Arizona, Colorado, everywhere, people are wearing cowboy hats.

[A]

It's a sun protector. It looks good. Same with, like, cowboy boots. Like, I wear them in the rain. I don't think you're supposed to.

[B]

I'm getting real Southern right now because, like, the material.

[A]

Yeah, because you don't want it. Like, I think there's certain ones that are, like, weatherproofed, but, like. Yeah, this is a really nice hat. I do not want to get in the rain. No, no. No, no. And I wore on a rainy day. Okay. What is your problem, Emily? So we've talked a lot about kind of the December holidays. I want to talk about the holiday that kind of comes on the cusp of December and January. I want to talk about New Year's, and I want to talk about New Year's resolutions, because I. I don't like. I guess. What are yalls? First, I don't like New Year's resolutions. I. I personally think it's way too much pressure. I think you should have a New Year's resolution at the end of October so that you can start simmering on it for two months. And then.

And then. Yes. And then when New Year's Eve comes, you get to just enjoy. You don't have to be, like, aggressive about, like, I gotta get back to the gym. I gotta write that novel. I gotta book all these things. It's just like. Just start to ideate on it for two months, and then it'll feel like you kind of did it. I feel like, though, then you're. But you're just like, you still have the deadline, so you're still. And it's still. For me, it's like the thing of, like, the pressure of, like, one thing in this year. What about you?

[B]

I used to really get into them. Right. I don't think they're ultimately. I don't want to say they're good or bad. I think motivation works so differently per person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And as you go through life, you figure out, like, what motivates me, what excites me, and I think sometimes I try to go more from a place of excitement as opposed to, like, I need to do this in order to feel happy. It's like, oh, what do I want? Like, what would be fun to do? Ultimately, how I work, and I think a lot of people work is, is. It's ultimately, it has to be day by day, you. And it has to be baby steps. It's like, what am I? What would I like to start doing every day this year? And it's like, the problem with a resolution or things is, like, if you fail, then it's like, well, I failed. Now I'm done. As opposed to, oh, I didn't do it this week. Let me pick it back up and start trying to do it again. And once again, just day by day. Because if you make it bigger than the day, then it becomes too big to even visualize or grasp. So. And there's so many things that I've been saying for years that I'VE not done. But now I've, like, I've eased the pressure off. I'm like, hey, I'm just trying to stretch every day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not. I need to do splits.

[A]

He wants to do it on this table. You've been saying that for a long time.

[B]

I've been saying it for, like, five years. For some reason, stretching is just a really hard thing for me to get motivated to do.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

Because I. It really requires, like, slowing down for, like, 30 minutes to an hour.

[A]

And that's.

[B]

It's hard for me.

[A]

It's really hard.

[B]

But I take the pressure off. I go, hey, I'm gonna start doing this every day.

[A]

Like, what do you want your New Year's resolution? Can you guys help me with that? Like, I want something fun. Like, you want something fun?

[B]

I want something fun. You know what might be better as opposed to, like, I think what's tough.

[A]

Is, I think, like, the fun things are achievable. And, like, you don't feel the pressure of, like, oh, man. Yeah. Like, I really wanted to write a book this year, and it's like, oop, I didn't do that.

[B]

We were all.

[A]

So.

Having write a book on your to do list is impossible, I think. I think everyone should delete it from their to do list because it's kind of like you have to feel the. The magic. You have to feel the vibes to write a book. I don't. Having it on to do list is like, I will never literally do that. True. You know what I mean?

[B]

There's something to that, too, of, like, letting things go in order for it to, like. Because, yeah, you put the pressure on too much, it becomes work. It becomes a dreadful thing.

[A]

What if your New Year's resolution is, like, do one fun thing that you would never do a month. I like that. Is that attainable?

[B]

It might be kind of nice to like, what's something you want to do, but you kind of, like, judge yourself for. You're like, I'm not going to do this. This doesn't make sense. But if you make it a resolution, then you put that pressure on something that you're like, well, I'm not going to do it otherwise. Like, I don't. I don't know. I'm trying to think of, like, oh, a good one, maybe for next year is like, I'm going to go see.

Three movies by myself next year. Like, that's something.

[A]

I love you that so much already. I am so alone.

[B]

I love seeing movies by myself.

[A]

I was here last Time. And I asked you guys to help me with my dating profile, and I. And did that work? No, I'm not. I have. I was not on a date at all this year. Listen, honey, you're. You're.

[B]

You're in Los Angeles trying to date. It's. You're not alone there.

[A]

So hard. Okay, What? Okay, let's. Let's take away dating. Let's take away books, all that stuff. Let's make Emily happy, first and foremost. What if it's like ice skating? Love it. Okay. What if it's like bowling? Love it. What if it's anything? What if it's.

[B]

I've been picking up a new hobby.

[A]

Right. On a horse through Griffith Park.

You know what?

[B]

Maybe it could also be. Is, like, picking up classes or something that then once you start it, then it. You kind of are committed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whereas if it's something that, like, it's a choice every day, it's easy to fall off of it. Right? Like, for instance, like, oh, me trying to stretch every day, I fall off of that. I go, ah. But if I go, okay, I'm gonna sign up for eight classes of yoga. I'm like, I paid for it. I gotta do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then I'm. You kind of give yourself that push.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe it's not a resolution for the year, but it's like, okay, I'm gonna do this thing in January.

[A]

Yeah. I like quarterly resolutions, like, monthly things. Make yourself happy. Because I feel like you work so hard. Emily, the PIT channel is incredible. It's so much fun, and you need some time for you. So don't even think about trying to meet someone or anything. Just, like, go out, do fun shit, make yourself happy, and all the other stuff will come. Thank you. And be confident. That's. I think that's the biggest idea I've been told I need to be a bigger bitch, so I'm gonna work on that now, next year. Yee daw. Yee haw. All right, bitch, get outta here. All right, bye. Everybody.

[B]

Get outta here.

All right, next up, we have Chance.

[A]

Chance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Chansey. Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What's up, Chance? Hi. Hey, Chance.

[B]

Merry crim. Merry crim.

[A]

Merry crims.

[B]

Y' all wanna talk or what?

[A]

Do you wanna talk? Not Chance. Just coming in here fucking trying to tell us what to do. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Chance. What's your problem, man?

[B]

Okay, so my family is like, we've outgrown our Christmas traditions.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

We're all kind of black sheep. Like, my mom moved away from her family. My stepdad Moved away from his family to a new place. My brother's at college. I'm at college. So we're all coming home now.

[A]

Okay. We're all kind of like, you're at college.

[B]

I was at college, and then I never moved home to college. Heard, yeah, I'm in college.

[A]

I'm too.

[B]

It's senior year. Excited for life.

And now we're like, what the hell do we do for Christmas? Because we open a couple presents, and now we're at the point where, like, we don't need to get presents for each other. We're all adults. We're just like, okay, there's no kids. Yeah.

[A]

And you're not going anywhere. So it's literally just four of you.

[B]

We're to still going. Four of us. My adopted brother Fred is in Amsterdam. He doesn't come home. So we're just. It's just the four of us.

[A]

I know what to do.

[B]

Okay. Whoa.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We've.

[A]

Okay. Okay. No. What?

[B]

Well, the other thing is. They're white. They're all white.

[A]

Oh, that changes what I was gonna say.

[B]

Okay, good. Okay, good. I thought so. I thought so. No, it doesn't. It does.

[A]

It does not. Anybody can do this. Okay.

They're all white.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

And then my dad's family is the black family.

[A]

You don't see them on Christmas.

[B]

I can see them. I usually see them Christmas night.

[A]

Oh, so you need to be around for night? I'm not sure, am I?

[B]

No, I think we're. I think we're. We're moving towards, like, going on a trip.

[A]

That's okay. That was my solution was every single year, if you can afford it. And it doesn't need to be, like, super far away, just like a little bit of a trip to change the surroundings. Okay. And then all you do is change the surroundings, and it'll already feel like you've refreshed everything and. And have it be in a place where there's stuff to walk to. Okay. Right. So that you can, like, make your own different traditions. Shane doesn't, so.

[B]

But you're saying going on a trip with them, but you still need to be available that night to go.

[A]

That's what I asked Dad's family.

[B]

I don't know. We can go on a trip. He's saying no, because I know some people do, like, cruise. Like a Christmas cruise.

[A]

Do you like cruises?

[B]

People do. I've heard of a Christmas cruise. Me and Angela actually did a play about a Christmas cruise, and it was very funny.

[A]

Yeah, well, maybe don't Go.

[B]

Not a Christmas cruise. I'm not being on the water for Christmas. It feels weird. No. And what's. This is in Tennessee. This is in Tennessee. I feel like, okay, so going on a trip. So, like, if I'm going on a trip, I'm renting an Airbnb. What do I do with them the whole time?

[A]

That's why I said, like, what do we do? It has to be, like, in a down downtown area. Like, freaking Solvang. It's still. It's very Christmassy.

[B]

You're gonna go from Tennessee all the way to Solvang, California?

[A]

No, he's gonna drive up two hours, and they're gonna meet him here.

[B]

Yeah, have them come meet.

[A]

I'm making chances life easy. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What I'm saying is, what are you gonna do with them? You have to go to a place where there is walking activity. You have to be, like, on the street where there's walking stuff for just one day. Okay. No, no, I'm like, I'm getting Christmas cruise.

[B]

I'm hearing you. Okay. Christmas cruise was.

[A]

I think, have it. Have a. Have a location that has everything baked into it. That's fun. And then you guys just show up.

[B]

And just, like, eat and drink.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

[A]

Hey, that's all we're doing on Christmas, okay. Whether it's four or 30 people, we're literally just eating and drinking.

[B]

Okay, so you're saying Solvang.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, see, this is where the white comes in. I'm sorry. Because what am I eating? I need spice. I need flavor. They can't do that.

[A]

Oh, they don't eat spice or flavor.

[B]

No, my stepdad does, but mom and Dalton cannot. Mom and Dalton, if you go somewhere and you're going to restaurants, then. Then you get the spicy option.

[A]

Then you choose the spicy option.

[B]

Yeah, you got to make sure, because you're not staying at the house and your family's not cooking, so. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Listen, you have a white family. I feel like you just have to kind of of, you know, let the.

[B]

World is my oyster. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You could do America. It's a white Christmas.

[A]

You could literally do anything you wanted. Yeah.

[B]

Hey, you won't believe this. I have a white family, too. No. What do you guys do for Christmas? We kind of just hang out.

[A]

They eat mayo.

I'm so sorry. That was rude. What the fuck? That was rude and stupid.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm taking them to Solvang. Actually, Solvang sounds pretty cool for Christmas.

[A]

I don't know. If there's any spicy food there. Just saying there's wine. Perfect. Yeah, there's wine. It's like old.

[B]

Like, I feel like white people would eat that shit up. Yeah, Solvang. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And mayo. All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I hope you feel. I hope you feel good.

[B]

Solvang, here I come.

My family does not eat mayo, but there is not much spice at all anywhere.

[A]

So what do you eat?

[B]

It's hard. Not much.

[A]

It's hard. Okay.

[B]

It's tough.

[A]

You guys don't eat. Oh, boy.

[B]

We'll talk about it.

[A]

Okay. We'll talk about it later.

[B]

Yeah, don't worry about it.

[A]

Next up we have Lizzy. Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy. Hi. Hi. Oh, my God. She brought stuff. Yeah. I have an example. I actually am going to Solvang for Christmas. I said it because I've always wanted to go.

[B]

So funny. Is it a big Christmasy place?

[A]

Yeah, they do. It's like. It's like. So I went for my friend's wedding one time and. And it's a very cute, like, Danish, Dutch. Danish or Dutch. It's storybook looking. It's so cute.

[B]

Danish, Dutch, whatever the fuck they are. Whatever.

[A]

That weird, weird thing.

[B]

Those windmills. Police ass people.

[A]

But they go like, hard for Christmas. It's like fully go hard. Like Storybook Village. Yeah. It's right near Los Olivos, which is like one of my favorite places for wine.

[B]

So good. I've heard the wine's good.

[A]

Yeah. James and I are going there. Speaking of James. This is my problem.

[B]

James.

[A]

It's James.

[B]

My problem is James.

[A]

It's James. No, actually, my problem is James is too good at gift giving. I cannot beat. Of course he is. Why is he a hero?

[B]

Yeah. Because he. Out of everyone in the office, he's the closest to Santa. Look at that beard.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's our dream.

[B]

He's got like a Santa beard.

[A]

Like Santa. But Santa's working like, you know, like Santa.

[B]

Young, fit Santa.

[A]

Yeah. That's our dream when we get old is to be Santa and Mrs. Claus. Oh, my God. He's already going a little gray and it's going to like. And what do you do as Santa and Mrs. Claus? Just like work at a mall. Work at a mall. Yeah.

[B]

Go to the next day.

[A]

Okay. Some pictures. James is way too good at gift giving. He's way too good at gift giving. This is exhibit A. This is what he gave me for Christmas last year. Twilight Clue made my favorite board game with my favorite Movie. He made this. He made this. He made this.

[B]

Oh, that's tough.

[A]

So, yeah, that's basically. I'm screwed. So these are all the players. Charlie, Edward, Bella. Of course. Of course. These are the weapons. The truck, Charlie's gun. Charlie's gun, baseball bat. These are the locations. The meadow.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

They're all, of course, in magic sleeves. We've got the meadow as a location. The Swan residence.

[B]

Look it.

[A]

These are like the weapon pieces so that you put them in the room to guess who the murderer is. And this is like the little envelope when you put your guests in. Or the answer is in it. What is literally like, he could sell this. Yeah. So what the fuck do I do?

God, I have no idea.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Dude, does he end okay? He doesn't drink, so.

[B]

No, he doesn't drink. Well, this is the thing, though. I actually feel like with James, it's pretty. He. He loves a lot of things. Yeah, he's a big nerd. Loves Lord of the Rings, loves magic, the Gathering.

[A]

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[B]

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Star wars board games. I feel like there's a lot of realms that you could. You could.

[A]

Yes. And I know, like, I'm pretty good at gift giving. It's just that he, like, makes these things. He never gets me what I ask for. He gets me what I didn't know that I wanted, you know? Oh, my God. This man is just. He made this Clue game. He. I learned how to make donuts in the pandemic. And then he bought me a deep fryer for Christmas. And then he bought me a nugget ice machine. So, like, some of it is handmade, and some of it's like, I've always wanted a nugget I machine, and he got me that.

[B]

He might be Santa Claus.

[A]

Listen. Yes.

[B]

He might legitimately think that you should.

[A]

Just surrender to it. He's just a hero. He's the winner. He's just the one. Yeah. He's magic.

[B]

Oh, sorry. Your boyfriend's amazing.

[A]

Does. Does he. So gift givers don't always need amazing gifts. Some people just love to gift give. Does he love gifts? Yeah, I mean, like, as much as anyone loves a gift. Okay. Last year, I did make him something. I made. I sewed, like, a map, a fabric map of the United States. And I made all these buttons for the national park so that we could put. When we go to them. Well, you killed it. Just give him that again. Just give him it again.

[B]

I feel like maybe. I think James also is one of those people that loves when people love the. Like, show appreciation for what he loves.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I feel like if on Christmas Day, you're like, all right, let's play Magic the Gathering. And you. You had practiced, and you were really good, and you. You actually. Then I have to learn magic the game.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait.

[B]

What if you have so many people here who could teach you? Brennan, over there.

[A]

That's the boy.

[B]

Brennan, like, tipped his hat like he's ready.

[A]

Wait, I have an idea. I don't know if this exists, but what if you find on Craigslist, Lord of the Rings reenactment actors, and they knock on your door at Solvang, okay. And they go, we have to.

[B]

We have to take the ring, Frodo.

[A]

And someone's Maybe. Maybe you're not saying.

[B]

I'm gonna be honest. That actually. Home run. Can you imagine? There's a knock on the door. You're in like a little cute Soul bank cottage. And also an 8 foot tall Gandalf actor like steps in. He's just like.

[A]

We love interactive like escape rooms and stuff. So that is like. I mean, maybe I don't know if Craigslist, but hey, if I make like a solving like Mordor like walk around puzzle. Yes. Oh, this is a great idea. Oh my God. You and you're insolvang. It's so fucking cute.

[B]

Literally. It's literally Hobbiton right there. Yeah.

[A]

And you just have to. You have to go like drop off the ring somewhere cute.

[B]

Have you guys. I also feel like a trip. Have you guys gone to New Zealand?

[A]

I was gonna say that. No, that's a dream. We've never been out of the country.

[B]

But New Zealand should be where you go because that's just Lord of the Rings.

[A]

No, I know. That's like New Zealand. Australia is like our dream. That's the long run reenactment.

[B]

Hire someone off Craigslist to be Sam.

[A]

We have like a lot of actor friends. I could probably just ask. You could literally just ask your friends. And then they go now good luck. And then you follow. Or they can say something cooler than that.

[B]

Chance and Angela bustin. Angela's getting it all wrong. She's never seen one of the rings.

[A]

Go drop this ring in some weird thing.

[B]

Angela's like, I'm Gandalf.

[A]

This.

[B]

This is amazing.

[A]

I want to play this. Let's play it. I've never played it actually.

[B]

Well, I feel like that's the first Lizzie.

[A]

You gotta, you know, do the character. I just got it last year. Okay. It's not. I mean, I guess it has been a whole year. It's been. Listen, you're also busy, but.

[B]

But you're just appreciating it.

[A]

You're appreciating it. I love it. I love it so much. It's really cool. James, you're a hero.

[B]

James.

[A]

He's not even here today. He's probably in the North Pole.

[B]

He's probably working on your next gift. He's building it right now.

[A]

And if you do do this reenactment thing, please take photos. Okay.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is a great idea.

[B]

Yay. We're sending everyone to Solvang for Christmas. That's our. Been our thing.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

All right, all right. Thank you, Lizzy.

[A]

Thank you, Lizzy. Okay, so I know they're going to Solvang, but speaking of thoughtful, incredible gifts, this episode of Smoshmouth is Brought to you by or friends. Aura Frames is a digital picture frame where you can upload your favorite videos or photos anywhere at any time.

[B]

And I know Lizzie's struggling to find the right gift, but I will say I gave my mom one of the Carver matte frames from Aura Frames, and she loves it. I think it's the perfect gift if you're not sure. Everybody loves memories. It's the best.

[A]

It's the best. And they can look at it anytime. And you can upload as you go so you can add more and you.

[B]

Can preload it with photos. All of this is done through the Aura Frames app, which is super simple to use and makes it all actually pretty fun. Perfect gift For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Smoshmouth at checkout. That's auraframes.com promo code smoshmouth. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Back to the show.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

All right, next up. Is it. Is it Selena?

[A]

Is it Selena, our director of the pod?

I'm not the last one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I know you're not. Oh, I can see.

[B]

Hello, Selena.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

What is your problem?

[A]

I'm going to take this off because I can hear you guys. My problem is. Well, you guys are married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not to each other. Asked, and I said yes. Oh, okay.

But I was wondering what your strategies are in terms of splitting your time between your families for the holidays.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

I guess I have. I'm kind of like.

Mine's a situation that I can't really control. Cause H's family's in Belarus.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But his mom is here. So I would say we. We pick and choose. Like, this holiday, we're gonna go see my family, and then Christmas will be around for. Oh, so it changes every year. It changes all the time. We don't. We don't stay. So. So Thanksgiving and Christmas is a good time to split the time. Got it. So I don't like splitting the time on one holiday. It's way too overwhelming.

[B]

I. Yeah. I can't imagine splitting the time for one holiday. But it's. It's a little tricky, too, for me because so much of Court's family is here in California.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it is kind of like we're not traveling to see them, whereas my family's all out of state. So it's kind of choosing the times of year to go do that. But it fluctuates. It's not like this is a rigid rule. I think as long as you both, like, are respecting each other and, and appreciating each other's time and negotiating it together, it shouldn't feel like too much pressure.

[A]

Well, your families are far. Yeah. So yours are in the. Mostly in the Philippines. Yeah. But I met. My immediate family's in New Jersey. Okay, so you're east coast. And then this is Alaska is Washington. They moved down from Alaska.

[B]

So. Okay, so a little bit closer.

[A]

Wait a second. Washington. You know, is this three hour flight or something? So what we're doing this year is I'm flying because his mom does not want him to miss Christmas with his family. Like, that's like the rule. Oh, that's the rule. So last year I didn't go see his family at all. But this year, going for a few days before Christmas, we're flying on Christmas to go to the East Coast. So we're basically spending Christmas on a plane.

[B]

A lot of people do.

[A]

Angela does that every year.

[B]

A lot of people do because it's actually the cheapest flights out of the year too. So.

[A]

So you're doing. You're doing Christmas in Washington and then Jersey. Yeah. I think you're gonna realize that that's gonna be too much. And here's the deal. I it. You can absolutely set a boundary of like, I will do every other Christmas. Like, that's fair. Maybe he always has to do that, but you will do every other. Or maybe he'll join you with every other.

[B]

Is Thanksgiving a thing? Like. Yeah, because not really.

[A]

You don't do Thanksgiving.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. I didn't grow up with Thanksgiving. And also we don't like turkey.

[B]

So you do a ham.

[A]

That's true. But.

[B]

But it's just like, it's like, like almost. You can start making new traditions of like, hey, we're gonna meet up this time of year to do this thing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Here?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Just like when. When is everybody free? And you just make that.

[A]

Also maybe one year you invite them down here. That's my thought. I'm like, I don't know. Like, my family has celebrated Christmas in, like, a cold place for so long now. Yeah. Now I'm like, oh, what's it like celebrating Christmas in la? Yeah, you can change it up. It's. It's. There's no rules. Like, you guys can Literally change it up, and you can be. You can start to be like, this works for us this year because it's really expensive. Do you stay here for Christmas? We usually stay here because it's so. Last year we. We met my sister, so. My sister's husband's from Ireland, so they go every other year to Ireland. So last year we went to Ireland.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

It was epic. I mean, I was pretty sick the whole time because I was pregnant, but, like, it was amazing. This was. This is for another time. But I also want to broach the subject of taking a trip on Christmas. Kind of, like, chance, like, for that holiday. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, like, how do I navigate the. Hey, your mom wants you to spend Christmas. Well, would you invite. Oh, you just want to go with your.

[B]

It's. It's a tough thing. You kind of have to just draw that. Like, you just have to say those boundaries.

[A]

What's happening this year?

[B]

Yeah, you're. You're adults. You're your own couple. Like.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You respect your family members. They have to show that same respect for you. It's tough. It's tough because you grow up and they're like, oh, you're my. My child. So we do this thing. It's like, at a certain point, it's like, hey, man, I'm no longer 8 years old. Like, I. I'm doing. I'm living my own life, making my own decisions.

[A]

Flights are really expensive. You can change up your own tradition. Yeah. I mean, you kind of have to. Yeah.

[B]

There's kind of a thing when you're. When your family's out of state. It's kind of this weird thing that I do in my head where I'm like, well, I'm not going for Christmas, but I'll make sure I come out for, like, sometime in the spring and see you guys. Like, there's a certain amount of time that I try to make it out there to see them. And, like, it may not be Christmas, but it's like, who cares if it's Christmas? I'm gonna see you for the same amount of time this year.

[A]

Mine is usually summer. Mine's usually, like, around my mom's birthday and summer. And it's so great because the holidays are just. Plus, I'm realizing I only ever see my hometown in the winter now because I only come home for Christmas. So now it's like, dang, I kinda wanna. It's so pretty. I'm like, I kinda wanna go back for, like, spring and fall. Yes. Oh, my God. Fall. Of course. Yeah.

[B]

But.

[A]

Okay, you guys can help me talk to his mom. You just have to be confident.

[B]

Selena, we'll get her on the phone. We'll talk to her.

No, I can call a funeral director, but not. Not someone's mom. That's too stressful.

[A]

Right. I got it. Okay.

[B]

Well, good luck.

[A]

Okay, thanks. Good luck with everything. Thanks. And you got one more.

[B]

One more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Thank you, Selena.

[A]

Okay, we have Sarah, Alyssa, and Ollie here. Alyssa, how do we do this? And we have Ollie.

[B]

All right, so we have three people here today with one problem. What is.

[A]

Yeah, what's.

[B]

Or is it three different problems or just all at the same time?

[A]

It's kind of the same. We also realize we're kind of like the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future going on right now. So.

[B]

Wait, which one's which?

[A]

Sarah, are you the past? No, I think I'm present. Yeah.

[B]

I love pretty present.

[A]

Yeah. Alyssa, I'm Pastor. Yeah. Oh, you're the future. You're the future. Okay. Okay.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

Now. Is this, like, Muppets Christmas Carol Fest? Absolutely. Okay, thank you. Oh, presents is a good one. I'm Waldorf and Stetler. Yes.

[B]

My cheering stuff. Okay, so you all have a problem.

[A]

Yeah. The Muppets. This is a good segue, though. That is the.

[B]

It is the Muppets that you have an issue with.

[A]

I get it. No problem with the Muppets. My issue is that now I'm an adult. I'm in my 30s. The whimsy of Christmas for me is, like, dead. Not to be dramatic. I used to love Christmas. It used to be my favorite holiday. And I, like, this year, November 1st, they were putting up Christmas garland downtown. I was pissed. It's like, I don't know what happened in my soul, but I hate Christmas. Maybe I don't know what's going on.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

But there's so much. And the whimsy is gone. And I want to get it back. I want to get it back. Yeah. And it's making me upset. Yeah. I never used to be this person. I understand what happened. Yeah. You've changed. Do you guys feel like. Do you guys feel the same? Yeah. Mine's a little different. I grew up very Christian and, like, a lot of religious trauma and stuff. I'm a spooky girl as well. This is as festive as I get for Christmas, so, so good. I'm just trying to, like, get into the holiday spirit or know what that was. I don't think I ever found Christmas, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just Like Cindy Lahoo.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That.

[A]

So where are you? You know. Yeah. Where are you?

[B]

Christmas And Ollie.

[A]

My issue.

[B]

I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, so I was never allowed. What a lore draw.

[A]

You knocked on people's doors at the worst time.

[B]

I was a child knocking on people's doors. I don't know if that was. And K Pop's illegal for Jehovah's Witnesses, so. But yeah. So kind of a similar situation with.

[A]

Of a lot I have. I never really got to celebrate Christmas.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

It's hard to connect to Christmas now because I don't have that nostalgia feeling of it. Yeah. So it's like, I. Yeah. It's just hard to get in this. And do you want to get into the spirit? Yes. I'm jealous. I want that, like, that, like, iridescent lighting of the Christmas tree and that feeling again.

[B]

I love the cookies.

[A]

I get it. They need to find their Christmas spirit.

[B]

I think this is the thing you're asking. Where is Christmas? And I think we know exactly where it is. And there's a little place called Solvang.

[A]

You know what's crazy?

[B]

My Hometown is like 15 minutes from Solvang. You were down right in the camera.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You were so close.

[A]

We're sending everyone to Solvang right now.

[B]

We're going to Solvang.

[A]

No, but seriously, I will say in order. The point of Christmas is to hang out with the people that you love and care about and to eat things you wouldn't normally eat. Okay. Okay. That is literally. I think the point of Christmas is just to spend time.

[B]

Time.

[A]

So how do you just find the spirit again? By, like, maybe making traditions with people that agree with you about Christmas and you kind of do something together. I just like. Christmas can be whatever you make it. I don't know. Like, I get it, though. You want to be like, I'm into tinsel. I like that. Okay. My. I have. There's my other issue is I too. I have a mother who loves Christmas. And I live. I'm from Wisconsin. I've lived here for, like, eight years. But I have to go back every Christmas. And I've tried to do the. Like, I'm an adult now and I don't have to, but I'm still single, which is totally fine. I'm not upset about that. Yeah. And I have to go to my childhood home and sleep in my twin bed. It's traumatizing. Why do we have to do this? Exactly. And last year I tried to not go, and she, like, paid for my plane ticket. So it's like, I'm not gonna not go if you're paying for the trip. This year, my mental compromise is that I'm renting a car. So if I need to, like, go somewhere, I can have, like, a little day trip in Chicago maybe. Yes. And maybe that'll feel more fun and festive, but it does. She's not listening to this. It kind of feels like a trap sometimes. Yes. It's just like, I'm in Wisconsin for a week. Well, it sounds like Christmas isn't any of your traditions that you guys want to do. You. Yeah, right. It's like, you kind of need to, like, make. Well, Jehovah Witness. I don't know what your tradition.

[B]

I don't think that I. It's like, no, go to the next door. No holidays. When I found out it's like, no, you don't celebrate your birthday. I was like, who would want to do that?

[A]

I don't know. That's. That's wild to me, man.

[B]

It sucked.

Okay, there. So there's the family aspect, which is. It's a whole own thing. And then there's just getting into the Christmas zone. I think what gets me into the Christmas zone is truly, like, like, doing things for others. Like, like, really, like, going out, like, shopping, but, like, shopping with the intention for other people is really nice. Or, like, crafting something for someone else. And also just cozy things. Like, you kind of have to set the mood. Right? Like. Like, yeah. Put on a. It doesn't be a Christmas movie. My argument. Any trilogy is a Christmas movie.

[A]

So I just read this. We were on assumptions, and I just read that, and I think that that is so brilliant. I totally agree with you.

[B]

It's like, it's a time, like, make some hot cocoa, some hot cider, a drink that you like, and sit down and watch Impossibles. Watch a movie trilogy that you love.

[A]

Yeah. Die Hard, Die Hard. Watch Die Hard, Die Hard with a vengeance. Put on a couple twinkly lights and then maybe maybe just add one tinsel. Just look at it for a second, and it's something in your. Something in your heart. Like the Grinch. The little baby heart might, like, start to grow. That's what I want. You want that I want. I want to. I used to love Christmas. Again. This is the most, like, aggressive, anti Christmas I've ever felt in my life. And that's.

[B]

I also think it has been. It's been commercialized. It was always commercialized. Right Our entire life. But it's been hardcore these past few years, and it sucks all the joy out of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm kind of like, I might get haters for this, but, like, the amount of Netflix Christmas movies is pissing me off. And the way they're made is, like, they're not made with. With Christmas in mind.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, Lifetime, at least. It was like. No, there's Christmas in those. No, but. But it's been so much, so you almost have to, like, push so much of it away.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And kind of find your Christmas.

[A]

I love that. Yeah. For me, it's like, sometimes it feels, like, performative. I guess.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And it's like, I can't get into the holiday spirit. You know, there's, like, seasonal depression stuff. I don't know. So it's hard to, like, push past that or just put on that happy face and, like, pretend like everything's okay. Lean in, I think. Lean into the spookiness.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I think Christmas is spooky as hell. I mean, we have stories coming through our chimney, dropping off gifts. Like.

Dude, just. Yeah. I love Krampus.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, truly make your own traditions. Because. Because. Yeah. Like, and that's kind of the thing. If you're, like, saying, no, I'm drawing the line on my family traditions, on what we're doing. You can make your own decisions and start a new thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And even say that to your family. Be like, hey, I want to do this. This.

[A]

You can literally start from scratch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you can start over. I mean, to be fair, my wife.

[B]

Also, her family celebrates Christmas a lot, but.

[A]

So at least that's been kind of helping. But, like, it's not the same either.

[B]

Because, I mean, we're all old, so the week of Christmas is oftentimes kind of bullshit. Right. Because it's like, okay, we got family traditions. We got to go see our family. Got to do all this stuff. Whatever. It's almost kind of those weeks leading up to Christmas that are the most Christmassy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But that's where it's like, you kind of have free rein to, like, be like, what do you. What do I want to do with this time?

[A]

Right.

[B]

What tradition? Like, make a new tradition with your friends, with your partners, with whoever, even just by yourself. Like, something that you want to do.

[A]

Like, look at it as time off. Why don't you just start there? Like, look at it as time off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe go to a haunted house, if there are any open.

[B]

Honestly. Sounds kind of badass.

[A]

I know. I'll Find them. We should go to a haunted house in Solvang. There we go.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Maybe Lizzie will do it for us. Yeah.

[B]

This drunk. This drunk aunt died 50 years ago here in Solvang. She like, choked on a Pringlevang.

[A]

Find Gandalf and literally have the best time making your own traditions. That's fun to me. I've never been to Solvang.

[B]

I've never been to Solvang either, is what's funny. I've never been.

[A]

I've not been once.

[B]

They got this Chumash casino. So we can also go gamble. We're going gambling.

[A]

I've also never been to a couple casino. This is a time new tradition.

[B]

Gamble away everything for Christmas.

[A]

That could be fun.

[B]

Well, I. That's. That's the best advice I have. Yeah, I struggle with it, too.

[A]

Did that help? Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. And also, you don't have to put on a happy face for anybody.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Be in your feels. It's all good. You guys want to dress up? Spooky. Do you want to be a ghost for the rest of the year? I already was this year, pretty much. So you may do that. If you want to wear a veil, you can do that.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Candelabras. Candelabras.

[B]

Candelabras are. They're both Halloween and Christmas.

[A]

We should have told Anthony to just do candelabras for his Christmas tree. Bring him back. Bring him back. Yeah.

[B]

He's gone.

[A]

Oh, he's gone. Where's Anthony? Where's Anthony?

[B]

Well, good luck to all of you.

[A]

Good luck. Thank you. Good luck, good luck.

[B]

And happy holidays.

[A]

Happy holidays.

[B]

Merry Christmas.

[A]

Merry Christmas.

[B]

Happy New Year.

[A]

Happy New Year. Happy Halloween. Wow.

[B]

Happy Halloween.

[A]

Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, Alyssa. Thank you, Ollie.

[B]

I really think everyone here at this job, man, the celebration is just not working for a couple weeks. This. This year has been insane.

[A]

Kind of why I'm, like, just hanging out for Christmas because.

[B]

What. How many videos did Smosh upload this year? Like, over 400. Like, everybody.

[A]

We're doing it here.

[B]

Yeah. Is working on those.

[A]

Doing it for you. Everyone at Smosh has been working so hard. Yeah, I was working really hard on something else on my own one woman show.

[B]

It's just a.k.a.

[A]

A child.

[B]

Yeah. Alyssa, how many videos do you think you edited this year?

She was like.

[A]

30. I don't know. You guys don't. Like, there are so many people behind Smosh. Like, sure, it's us, but like, editors, producers, art directors, so truly.

[B]

Hey, man, that's sound. Scott, just take. Everybody just take a breather.

[A]

Brennan. Like camera people, everybody. And then there's Shane and me.

[B]

And I'm here.

[A]

And we're here. Guys.

[B]

Guys.

[A]

We're just so grateful for you all and the holidays. Remind me how grateful I am for my job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the people around me. And that's really what Christmas is all about.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

I think we really helped a lot of people today.

[B]

I hope so. I hope Anthony's house doesn't catch on fire.

[A]

Well, I'll be there and I'll put.

[B]

My whole body all over it. Right. Okay, good.

[A]

Also, Solvang should pay us.

[B]

Solvang really should pay us for what we've done today. And I've never even been.

[A]

I know. And I've been once and it was for an hour. And it was awesome.

[B]

We literally are the worst people to be advertising.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I drove past there once. Looked pretty cool.

[A]

Pretty cool.

[B]

Thank you all for watching. We hope. We hope you don't have too many problems this holiday season.

[A]

And if you do, it's okay. Just get spooky with it.

[B]

Just get. Yeah, just get spooky with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Summon ghosts. Well, all right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We'll see you later. And happy holidays. Happy holidays.

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