S1: #39 - Travel Talk & Future Condoms

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth S1: #39 - Travel Talk & Future Condoms

Released on November 13, 2019, Episode #39 of the Smosh Mouth podcast features hosts Shayne Topp (Noah), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Courtney), and Damien engaging in lively discussions about their travel experiences, favorite foods, prison reform, condom preferences, and a sprinkling of conspiracy theories. This episode seamlessly blends humor with insightful commentary, providing listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful conversations.

---

Introduction and Podcast Format

The episode kicks off with the hosts exchanging playful banter, setting a relaxed and humorous tone for the discussion ahead. Courtney introduces the episode's theme:

"We've decided this podcast is going to be about our favorite places or places that we hope are our favorite places... places that we haven't been, places that we have been in places that we haven't been that we want to go to." ([00:52])

They aptly name the segment "Travelcast," signaling an in-depth exploration of their travel interests and aspirations.

---

Travel Experiences and Future Plans

Upcoming Trip to Japan

Damien shares his excitement about an upcoming trip to Japan, highlighting Osaka as a culinary hotspot:

"We're going to Osaka first. And that's like the street food mecca of Japan. And I'm excited to try all these different things." ([31:20])

He reminisces about a previous trip to Tokyo, mentioning the diverse food culture and his anticipation for new culinary adventures.

Personal Travel Stories

Noah reflects on his travel experiences, including a memorable visit to France where he attempted Indian cuisine for the first time:

"The first time I ever tried Indian food was actually... me trying Indian food." ([07:13])

Courtney emphasizes her love for traveling primarily to indulge in various cuisines:

"Like literally just eat food and drink. And that's half my travels." ([34:19])

The hosts express a shared enthusiasm for exploring new destinations, with interests spanning from European cities like Paris and the Basque region to Southeast Asian locales such as Vietnam and Myanmar.

---

Food Adventures and Preferences

Red Lobster Experience

Noah recounts a less-than-stellar experience at Red Lobster, humorously detailing his hefty bill and disappointment with the food:

"I went to a Red Lobster, and I think I spent like $320... It was such trash, like, the worst food I've ever had." ([35:38])

Damien contrasts this by sharing nostalgic fondness for Red Lobster from his childhood, appreciating its association with "fancy" dining:

"For my birthday, I would always be like, I want to go to Red Lobster. Like, that was my fancy restaurant." ([36:42])

Exploring Diverse Cuisines

The conversation shifts to a variety of international foods. Damien praises the flavors of lamb korma in Indian cuisine:

"They use, like, cashews and raisins to season as well... it's like this sweet, savory." ([09:10])

Courtney shares her first experiences with Romanian and Burmese dishes, highlighting unique flavors and textures:

"I had Romanian food for the first time... It was like a really tasty chicken stew." ([28:25])

They discuss the excitement and challenges of trying new foods, emphasizing personal preferences and memorable culinary moments.

---

Prison Reform and the 13th Amendment

A substantial segment of the podcast delves into the intricacies of the U.S. prison system and the 13th Amendment's implications.

Privatized Prisons and Labor

Noah brings attention to the role of prison labor in producing high-end products:

"Apparently a lot of the cheese... is made by prison labor." ([12:05])

Damien further elaborates on the systemic issues, explaining how training inmates often doesn't translate to job opportunities post-release:

"Anyone who just spent five years... learning how to fight fires on the front line can't become a firefighter." ([12:35])

Documentary Insights

Courtney references the Ava DuVernay documentary "13th," which explores the historical and ongoing exploitation within the prison system:

"If you guys haven't seen Is it called the 13th on Netflix?... If they're prisoners, then we can still work them like slaves." ([13:32])

They critically analyze how legal loopholes perpetuate forced labor and discuss the need for comprehensive prison reform.

---

Condom Preferences and Discussions

Exploring New Brands

The discussion transitions to the topic of condoms, where the hosts examine different brands and their innovative features.

Noah introduces "kimono condoms" and "Lilo Hex," debating their effectiveness and design:

"These sound soft and flowy. They might not get the job done." ([19:55])

Courtney shares her positive experience using kimono condoms:

"I did use the kimono. They're good." ([23:10])

They humorously critique the design aspects and functionality of these products, balancing curiosity with skepticism.

Innovative Designs

Courtney highlights the technical aspects of "Lilo Hex" condoms, featuring interconnected hexagons for strength and flexibility:

"It's like active armor graphene inspired structure for thinness and strength." ([21:49])

The hosts discuss the potential advantages and drawbacks, providing listeners with insights into emerging condom technologies.

---

Conspiracy Theories and Random Topics

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation veers into lighthearted conspiracy theories and amusing hypotheticals.

Celebrity Conspiracies

Noah and Courtney jest about absurd theories, such as:

"Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus... Hilary Duff controls the weather." ([50:40])

Smosh Identity Joke

They playfully speculate that their voices are being manipulated by an external entity:

"Smosh has been Milli Vanilling the entire time. We don't talk. It's someone else voivng us." ([53:25])

These segments add a layer of humor and whimsy to the episode, showcasing the hosts' playful dynamics.

---

Data Privacy Concerns

TikTok Scrutiny

Noah brings up the U.S. government's concerns regarding TikTok's data collection practices:

"Apparently, the Trump administration is going g after TikTok because they could be tracking all your movements and stuff." ([58:03])

Courtney and Damien discuss the broader implications of data privacy, emphasizing the need for awareness and vigilance in the digital age.

---

Light Banter and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with the hosts engaging in spontaneous jokes and reflective discussions about societal norms and personal quirks.

Credit Card Anxieties

Damien shares his recent experience with a credit card breach, leading to humorous exchanges about the security of financial information:

"It's got to be... that's crazy. No one at Pizza Hut or anything can quickly." ([60:00])

Final Thoughts on November and Conspiracies

They wrap up with musings on November being a month of restrictions and playful assertions about ongoing conspiracies:

"November is not a fun month... People under 18 do it." ([61:10])

Noah humorously emphasizes the reality of societal issues while maintaining the episode's lighthearted spirit.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Noah ([00:10]): "Probably the dumbest thing I've done with my money other than buying a car and then breaking it a lot and then repairing it too many times."

• Courtney ([05:19]): "Oh, wait, is that a thing? What is that?"

• Damien ([16:17]): "But still, there's a happy medium to be reached because otherwise, if there's no happy medium there and it just sort of feels like free reign..."

• Noah ([27:17]): "I like how we were supposed to talk about the places we wanted to go and... all the lovely places."

• Courtney ([51:13]): "Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus. She's a government agent."

---

Conclusion

Episode #39 of Smosh Mouth masterfully balances humor with meaningful discussions, offering listeners a blend of entertainment and insightful commentary. From exploring the depths of the prison system and advocating for reform to dissecting the nuances of international cuisine and innovative condom designs, the hosts provide a rich tapestry of conversation. Their ability to weave in lighthearted banter and playful theories ensures that the episode remains engaging and relatable, making it a standout installment in the Smosh podcast series.

For those who haven't tuned in, this episode serves as an excellent introduction to the dynamic chemistry between the hosts and their ability to tackle a diverse array of topics with both depth and humor.

Transcript

[Noah]

Ramble.

[Damien]

I was low key pissed because I was like, it's my first night in Japan and you're taking me to get Italian.

[Noah]

Probably the dumbest thing I've done with my money other than buying a car and then breaking it a lot and then repairing it too many times. Went to a Red Lobster and I think I spent like $320.

[Courtney]

Damn. I do. The doctors can, like, shine a light on the person's butt and. And the tapeworm will peek out.

[Damien]

What?

[Noah]

I wanna talk about all the people I wanna put in prison. Oh, I'm so sorry, guys. That's the tone of my life.

[Courtney]

It's November, guys. It's like Gemini season, but with three times more conspiracies.

[Damien]

Helena Bonham Carter. I barely know her.

[Noah]

Hi, everyone. I'm gonna talk. And I brought some coffee and I got these little burps going.

[Damien]

Don't take Kourtney's brain.

[Noah]

It's like she's here.

[Courtney]

Welcome, everybody, to the smoshcast. This is a. We've decided this podcast is going to be about our favorite places or places that we hope are our favorite places that. Places that we haven't been, places that we have been in places that we haven't been that we want to go to.

[Damien]

Okay. Travelcast.

[Courtney]

Travelcast. You know, I think it's important to get out there and see other. See other people, see other cultures, get to get to understand the world that's outside of your own. And traveling is the best way to do that if you don't have the money to travel. Wikipedia is there.

[Damien]

Just read a book.

[Noah]

Read a local street view.

[Damien]

Yeah, that's true. Also, Noah, we've never done a podcast together.

[Noah]

No.

[Damien]

Not bad, dude. Hey.

[Noah]

How are you, man?

[Damien]

I'm good. How are you?

[Noah]

I'm doing very good. Good to see you.

[Damien]

I didn't get the memo, but that's okay.

[Noah]

Hey. No, you did. It's just up there. We took it from you.

[Damien]

Okay. Clever boy.

[Courtney]

Yeah. This is a never before seen combo on the Smosh cast. Just three old boys.

[Damien]

The Devil's Trio.

[Noah]

Are we kind of like a couple of them?

[Courtney]

No, that's something very different, Damien.

[Damien]

Oh, is that a different thing?

[Courtney]

The Devil's Trio?

[Damien]

Is that actually a thing?

[Noah]

What is that? Oh, no, it's over my head.

[Damien]

Well, it's gotta be. It's gotta be a sex term if he's going like, whoa.

[Courtney]

I think that's what it is.

[Noah]

Oh. Usually sex terms about that mean, like, being very dirty. And I mean, that is an unclean. Like, when Doing things. You know what I mean?

[Courtney]

Or maybe it's a devil's triangle.

[Noah]

Oh, no, that's where Amelia Earhart is.

[Courtney]

The devil's trio is definitely a sex. Well, okay, wasn't that, like, a thing that was in, like, Brett Kavanaugh's. Oh, my God, His Diaries?

[Noah]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

And then he said it was a drinking game.

[Noah]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney]

He's like, it's a drinking game.

[Damien]

Well, I'll say. Clearly, you can randomly say the term and have it mean something else.

[Courtney]

That's right.

[Damien]

Do you remember, like, that would always happen in elementary and middle school where you're like. You're like, oh, you know, we got on the swings the other day, and then we were swinging backwards, and people were like, oh, swinging backwards. Like, you would just say a random thing, and then someone would repeat something their cousin told them.

[Noah]

That's so funny.

[Damien]

Right?

[Courtney]

Well, we. We. For the Just Dance video that we did, Mari showed up as a pinata, and we're like, mari.

[Damien]

Oh, it was Matt Rob.

[Courtney]

Because we were talking about. Yeah. Cause. Oh, you were in on this. On this bit, right?

[Damien]

Yeah, I caught on pretty quick.

[Courtney]

Yeah, cuz. Cuz. Cause we were like, mari, that's incredibly offensive. Japanese pinata. You don't know what that means.

[Noah]

That's so funny.

[Damien]

It was much more of, like, a slow burn, though. And Matt's like, oh, I get it. Japanese pinata. And he sort of let her piece it together when she was like, wait, is that a thing? And then I just went like, oh, my God, I didn't even think about that.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

And then she was like, what is that? What? And so literally until midway through shooting, I was just. And she was, oh, you told her? Yeah, she's like, what is the Japanese? I'm like, all right. So it's like when. When. Like, okay, so, like, when Matt Robb wants to mess with his friend. And then she was just like, oh, God.

[Courtney]

She totally believed it.

[Noah]

Because I was a victim of that. I'm now the only victim that didn't know, I guess because after leaving that conversation with you guys, she was still on it, and she was asking other people what a Japanese pinata was. And so it was my job to try to figure out what that meant. And I think I was talking with Olivia, and she was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I hate how people are fetishized and stuff like that. Like, she's really not about, like, porn in general, but I guess specifically, like, Japanese pinata is definitely more offensive than, like, just a pinata, you know? So we were. We were pretty, like, not. Not happy about it.

[Damien]

Wow.

[Noah]

It turns out it's nothing at all.

[Courtney]

It's nothing at all.

[Noah]

So now we have to make it.

[Courtney]

Yes. I Googled Japanese pinata. Nothing showing up.

[Noah]

There is a sushi folded like a goose.

[Courtney]

There's a sushi pinata. It looks kind of cool. The closest they would have is usually like, a watermelon.

[Damien]

You blindfold yourself, put a watermelon on.

[Courtney]

The ground, take turns whacking on it.

[Damien]

Till it breaks open, then you eat it.

[Noah]

Oh, it's the Japanese version of a pinata.

[Damien]

Oh, Kevin, you know a lot about Japan.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah. Well, it's. Oh. So, yeah. It is called Devil's Triangle.

[Noah]

What did you just.

[Damien]

What is this podcast?

[Courtney]

No, we don't need to worry about that.

[Noah]

Yeah, I'm afraid of the reflection of your glasses of the screen. I'm trying to not look at it just so I don't get a hint. You know what it is? It's an appetizer combo at Chili's. It's the Devil's trio. It's three types of hot cheese. You got a pepper jar, got an aged cheddar and a mozzarella.

[Damien]

And then boneless wings, which we all know are not wings.

[Noah]

They're rat.

[Damien]

They're smaller chicken tenders.

[Noah]

I really thought it was rat. Oh, I don't know.

[Damien]

I would try rat if it was at a place where, like, you were supposed to eat.

[Noah]

That's so funny, because that's totally what it is. Like, in other cultures, they eat bugs and stuff, and it's like, ooh, bugs.

[Damien]

Ew, bugs.

[Noah]

But, like, the moment that it's presented in, like, a little thing where it's like a joke, like, try a cricket. All of a sudden, we're willing to buy it. Like, if Chili's just served you rat, it would be totally normal to order rat.

[Damien]

I'm not fine with any food that's an accident or a surprise. If there is a bug in your other food, not cool. But if they're like, hey, we raised these bugs specifically to do this awesome bug dish, I'd be like, sure, cook it up. Like, same with rats. Same with anything you just landed on.

[Noah]

Literally. I think a universal. I don't like foods that are an accident or a surprise. And I agree with you. I don't like things that gush that I didn't know were gushing. Like, I don't want things like that going on.

[Damien]

How did you, of all people, have the show? Put it in my mouth.

[Courtney]

That Was the reason so much.

[Damien]

Oh, really?

[Courtney]

Yeah. When Noah first started on Smosh, like, half of your cuisine consisted of butter.

[Noah]

Pasta, butter, and noodles. And they would ask me, like, why don't you put a sauce on it? Do you want a sauce? And I'm like, butter is the sauce. And that was, like, the joke.

[Courtney]

That's like saying, peppers is spicy.

[Damien]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

I had a friend that said they knew. They knew a guy that. That said that he couldn't put pepper on things because it was too spicy.

[Noah]

Wow.

[Damien]

I mean, I just don't like black pepper in general, but it's certainly not about the spice level.

[Courtney]

Yeah. So I think the reason. The reason why we made Put it in my mouth was because Noah was so averse to any kind of food. And obviously, I think your acceptance of food as a whole grew after that show and us just forcing you to eat regular food.

[Noah]

I'm a big fan of trying things. A big fan of obviously trying things that are safe. I'm not about to be out here and be like, oh, heroin. I've never tried that. No, obviously.

[Damien]

But things that are normal, there's no middle ground. It's like, you only eat butter pasta. Okay, we're gonna introduce you to Heroin Black pepper.

[Noah]

On the level of trying things that you've never tried, I think you should always do things once un. You know, heroin or skydiving without a parachute. Those are probably the only two. So I remember the first time I ever tried Indian food was actually, like, probably the first piece of content we ever did for the second channel at the time, but it's now Smosh pit was me trying Indian food.

[Damien]

And do you love it now?

[Noah]

No. What? No, I know that I don't like. See, I'll try things, but I know that I don't like them beforehand. There's certain things that I can't get over.

[Damien]

I can respect that you're not a fan of it, but I would encourage you to try. Like, it's like, literally saying, oh, I had American food once. I don't like American food. It's like, well, what did you eat? Like, a burger or, like, a new American cuisine? Like, what are we talking about? Same with Indian food. Like, they're incredible curries, but if you don't like red curry, there's yellow curry. That's more, like, sweet. Like, korma is so good. Or they're these wonderful breads. And, like, the fact that you wouldn't like all of it as a genre is just a surprise to me.

[Noah]

I'd say that's cool, because I don't know that much. I'm not that in depth.

[Courtney]

I don't remember.

[Noah]

That's actually very interesting.

[Courtney]

I don't remember quite what we made you eat. I'm guessing we made you eat chicken tikka masala, maybe some chana masala, maybe some naan.

[Noah]

I think there was a type of chutney samosa. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, Samosas. But the general, like, naan, which is the bread. Right. That shit's fire.

[Damien]

Yeah. I could eat that all day long.

[Noah]

That's cool.

[Damien]

It's good stuff.

[Noah]

Reminds me of lavash.

[Courtney]

Yeah. It's very similar. It's, like, buttery.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Damien]

I used to live less than a block from this wonderful Indian restaurant in the heart of Miracle Mile, Los Angeles. And they have another. Like, they have a few more, like, locations around Los Angeles, but none are as good as this one in Miracle Mile. And I would get it, like, every other night, and it would get to the point where, like, they'd know me, and they'd be like, hey, Damien. I'd be like, below. How's it going, man? Like, good to see you. Yeah, you know it. Lamb korma. Thank you very much. Like, I miss it so much.

[Courtney]

That's the karma.

[Damien]

That's good. It's like a yellow curry. It's like a dash of cream. They use, like, cashews and raisins to season as well, which I know doesn't sound good right off the bat, but it's like this sweet, savory.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

I don't know, man. So good. I get lamb korma.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Damien]

Amazing.

[Courtney]

That sounds good. I'm hungry now.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

What type of food do you not.

[Damien]

Like, I was talking about that on stream last night. I. Someone was like, what is your least favorite food? And I was like, I literally can't think of anything. Like, I will try most things. I mean, I've had, like, ratatouille before that I've been just not a fan of because there wasn't enough texture. It, like, kind of felt grody to me. But stew just felt kind of like Stewie, but, like, I don't know, even Brussels sprouts, I'm like, I've had them in ways that are good. I like everything. Like, I've. One of my first weeks here, mythical Chef Josh was like, hey, who wants to try some muffins? And they had made, like, beet goulash muffins with fish eggs in it as, like, a joke for a Rhett and Link video. And I took A bite. And I was like, hey, that's a pretty good muffin. I like a lot of things.

[Noah]

That's crazy. That's some gulag food. Sorry, that's rude. That's rude coming from goulash. Sorry. That's my grandma's goulash and I know she wants to eat.

[Damien]

I thought you were gonna say your grandma was in the gulag.

[Noah]

No, she brought some of the recipes back from it, though. She definitely was close to it geographically, but. Yeah. That's some tough shoulder.

[Damien]

I'm saying a prison for everybody.

[Noah]

Yeah. Really sad one.

[Damien]

Really not so great.

[Courtney]

One of the more fun prisons, I would have to say, of all the.

[Noah]

Prisons I've been to.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Gulag. The gulag is, you know, you gotta try it once. You know, this could be your new show.

[Noah]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

Let's break this like Noah in a gulag.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Damien]

We go to the worst Yelp reviewed prison. Wow.

[Noah]

That's so funny. That's unbelievable.

[Courtney]

Can you Yelp pray to prison? I wanna know that.

[Noah]

Yes, I think you can. Correctional folks, all the good ones are in, like, Norway.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Cause they actually are trying to reform their people and be like, here's how you go about life now. And they're like, thanks for the change. And here it's like, how would we like 20 years of free labor for a minor offense? Cool beans.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Damien]

And we all just sort of shrug and are like, yeah, this is how it goes, I guess.

[Noah]

Yeah. Oops. Oops.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I saw a Swedish prison cell that looked better than most of the Airbnbs. I see.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I mean, it's smart. It's like, oh, okay. Like, you don't treat the people like they're animals inside, and then maybe they won't come out. Totally messed up. I don't know.

[Noah]

Yeah. Definitely deeper rooted societal things. Different shifts.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Also a lot less people in the prison system in Sweden. If we were to give everyone that kind of treatment in America, we would need.

[Damien]

They're not monetized, though.

[Noah]

Yeah, well, they're not privatized.

[Damien]

They're not privatized.

[Courtney]

They're not privatized. Yeah.

[Noah]

Which is essentially the same thing.

[Courtney]

Do you think California is getting rid of privatized prisons? I think.

[Noah]

I think there's a thing against it, but I think it's opening up new ones. It's something like that. It's like. It's like the half step to hopefully get the full step.

[Damien]

Apparently a lot of the cheese, the very expensive cheese you get from Whole Foods is made by Prison labor.

[Courtney]

What?

[Damien]

Artisan handcrafted $12 cheese. It's like, yeah. Handcrafted by people got paid a dollar a week cheese. Yeah. Same with a lot of farm raised fish, too. A lot of the, like, fish farms are in prisons.

[Noah]

That's crazy.

[Damien]

But they're only in prison, so it's like, hey, you're learning a. You get to learn how to farm for fish. And then when you get out, it's like, well, there aren't jobs for that. That was all in prison.

[Noah]

Attached to that is the idea that I learned this through fighting the fires in California because a lot of our firefighters are prisoners.

[Damien]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Is actually the 13th amendment, which legalizes slavery in prisons specifically for convicts. It's still legal to have effectively a slave. Holy crap. Is. It's illegal under the 13th amendment for any of these people to then get jobs in that industry. So in California, anyone who just spent five years in order to get a reduced sentence learning how to fight fires on the front line can't become a firefighter.

[Courtney]

I don't think it's a simple. But it's really hard for a felon to get a job as a firefighter, which really sucks because we're training. We're training all these people.

[Noah]

Yeah. Specifically the fact that there's 30,000 people that don't have any other skills that would love to be able to do something that are also trained in something we specifically need.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

But it is kind of funny that our fires are fought by a work crew of thousands of inmates and people who probably are not paid a dollar.

[Noah]

A day near anywhere. That's on fire, too. Like, they're definitely not from, you know, Thousand Oaks or, you know, the Getty Center. You know what I mean? Like, it's really what it is.

[Courtney]

I mean, I think it's. It's interesting. But yeah. 13th amendment. If you guys haven't seen Is it called the 13th on Netflix?

[Noah]

I haven't seen that.

[Courtney]

The Ava DuVernay doc.

[Noah]

Oh, that's really cool.

[Courtney]

Talks about the 13th Amendment and how, you know, once slavery was abolished, the south was like, oh, but, like, what about this? If we literally.

[Noah]

The next day, you could get arrested.

[Courtney]

Yeah. If they're prisoners, then we can still work them like slaves.

[Damien]

Yikes. Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Noah]

You know, it was a fun bit that I was doing yesterday, and I was really yelling it in the office, and I don't know if everyone was there. It doesn't matter. It was on set when we were doing the Just Dance thing was I was just really making a point about copyright law and how like we always get copyrighted and demonetized for like little bits of anything and how it's obviously parody or it's obviously this. And I thought it was so funny if all youtubers banded together and literally got like the law changed. Copyright law, like both. If you do it in the United States, it'd be international, but somehow I think that'd be so funny.

[Courtney]

You could band together all the youtubers and they still wouldn't be as big as the record industry.

[Noah]

No, no, obviously. But I think in a way that's just like, it did get a little any way that you want to do it, you know, now we don't listen to anything by Universal, which is like, okay, how are you gonna do that? I'm not sure, but we did.

[Courtney]

It did get a little better. YouTube has instituted a slightly better policy where if it's like a five second clip of music, they can't claim an entire video. Well, they can't. They can still choose to like take your video down, but they can't. But they can't take the money from it.

[Damien]

Okay, makes sense.

[Courtney]

So it's like they can still say like, hey, you're using my. You're using my content. Which is true, it is still copyright infringement. But they can't be like, hey, that video that you spent 30 hours editing, all that work you did, it doesn't matter. You use 5 seconds of your song. So that's our money. Yeah, yeah, they can't do that anymore. And they're punishing people for. They're punishing companies that are doing these claiming for making false claims. So there were like, there were companies that were there to just. They benefited from just claiming every possible thing that could slightly be considered copyright infringement. And there was no real punishment for that until now. So now they're held accountable. So it is better. It is getting better.

[Noah]

My brain just went to four years from now when the future is all subscription based and the reality that music will be used in YouTube videos is a thing. Everyone knows it and everyone loves it. So now anyone who's featured on one of these big labels, this big label can partner with YouTube, can partner with anyone at all, and you can pay YouTube $9.95 a month and you can now use any of this music in any of your videos.

[Damien]

Well, they can hope.

[Noah]

No, no, no, that's not a hope. That's a sad future because you should just be able to use their music. Unless you're just straight up playing the song in a video so that other people can obviously listen to the song without having to pay for a streaming service or view it on this person's channel where the song is specifically monetized. But there's definitely a legal case, in my opinion, because I always want to support the underdog, unless I'm the business owner. I've never owned a business, so I don't take that side. But I'm always like, okay, this is obviously parody, or this is obviously being talked over or being used in a different way where no one could take the real worth of your product because no one would be using your product through that video, if that makes sense.

[Damien]

I do think there has to be a happy medium, though, because even if you are, you know, people aren't going to come to the video just to listen to it, which they're. Of course not. I agree with you there. You are still using something that somebody else made for the benefit of your own channel. I think there's a happy medium to be reached because otherwise, if there's no happy medium there and it just sort of feels like free reign, which I would personally love, but as you said, I'm not a business owner. The companies are always going to try to find a way of, like, how do we snatch this back? And they usually have to do it with ways that we consider a little unsavory or underhanded, like claiming every possible video. So until we get an established way to make both parties happy, there's always gonna be some screwing over on both sides.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I mean, like, I think it's perfectly. I think it's perfectly in there. Right. If you're using. I think parody is a different, different story. If you're parodying a song and it's a critique that involves the song, that's fair use. That should never be claimed. Like when Olivia said mozzarella in the tune of Rihanna's Umbrella. And they claim that. And that's not okay.

[Damien]

No, that was absolutely ridiculous. And I kept trying to think of that example too, without specifically doing it, because I'm like, well, damn, I don't want this podcast to get claimed as well.

[Courtney]

And I think we did get that. I think we did get that reversed. No, we took out that audio. I think we took out that audio.

[Noah]

But obviously none of us are lawyers in copyri. But can you copyright a speech?

[Damien]

I wanna copyright specific notes and tones so that in the future we all have to speak in C sharp. And that's the only.

[Noah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Damien]

Open source.

[Noah]

But that's like, really, like, what it comes down to. Like, can I patent, like, a formula within my songwriting or my poems or my speeches.

[Courtney]

Well.

[Noah]

Or a method that I use.

[Courtney]

I mean, there's been musicians, like Marvin Gayes estate sued Blurred Lines. Yeah. Robin Thicke for using a similar tune. And that's happened a lot. Like, where. Where an artist has sued a different artist for using a similar, like, tune. It doesn't even have to be an exact rip. You can just claim, like, oh, that was clearly derivative of my content. I don't know if that answers your question.

[Noah]

No, not really. I just wanted to find my way to gaming the system.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Noah]

It's been a while to just make.

[Courtney]

A bunch of money suing people.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Or just claim a bunch of things.

[Damien]

Well, it's like with Kim Kardashian was making this. I think it was like an underwear line, and she wanted to call it kimono or something like that.

[Noah]

She wanted to take the word kimo.

[Damien]

She wanted to copyright the word kimono. And, like, all of Japan's like, hi, quick question about that.

[Noah]

Her lawyer's sitting there like, no, but they don't speak English. This. The English phrase kimono. That's not a real word in English.

[Damien]

It was literally. I mean, that's the only understanding.

[Noah]

Yeah. That's the only thing that they could say. It's like you can say anything when you can pay a lawyer.

[Courtney]

It's also a brand of condoms kimono.

[Noah]

Wow. Those sound soft and flowy. They might not get the job done.

[Damien]

Today's podcast is brought to you. Today's prison cast is brought to you by Kimono Condoms.

[Courtney]

Kimono. Put it on your dick.

[Damien]

It's the only kimono I know.

[Noah]

Not that we have to go there. This can be cut. But I had a brand of condom recommended to me by a friend, and it's a Swedish brand. It's called Lilo Hex or something like that. It's a condom that apparently it's not one big balloon, but it's made by casting together. Same material, essentially. But it's a bunch of hexagons.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Yeah. Imagine like instead of hexagons, casting. Yeah. It's like they've got hexagons connected and that builds the entire condom that looks like a normal condom.

[Damien]

Stop using your hands that big. We all know that's bullshit. Yeah.

[Noah]

So, like, when you gotta get into your condom.

[Courtney]

Yeah. You know, and you wrap it around your balls.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

For those that are just listening, I have my hands very wide as though.

[Damien]

He'S Saying the fish was this big.

[Noah]

That's so funny.

[Courtney]

The fish is my ball balls.

[Noah]

Yeah. But this condom apparently can't pop. There's like a video of them poking it. It can pop because they put a needle through it, but it doesn't pop. Pop. It just makes the tiny hole, but it doesn't entirely pop. I don't see how that's better because if you get a hole towards the top, you still got a hole.

[Damien]

But I'm just so you just don't know that it's popped.

[Noah]

I just thought I'd share about these condoms. There's kimono condoms and there's also these hexagon condoms. The end. All right, I just learned about them. Hey, everyone should look up these hexagon condoms.

[Courtney]

I'm actually. I'm actually kind of interested.

[Noah]

Hey, guys. Totally sponsored by this Swedish condom company. I don't wear socks anymore.

[Damien]

What are our highlights going to be today? Prison reform, the 13th Amendment and condom preference.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah. Lilo Hex.

[Noah]

There you go. I'm telling you. And there's a video of this guy poking him with a pen. And my friend told me about it.

[Damien]

And I'm like, you can hit your wiener with a bat and you won't even feel it, dude. It protects it.

[Courtney]

Oh, this is cool. It's like active armor graphene inspired structure for thinness and strength.

[Noah]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Courtney]

It's got 350 interconnected hexagons that give.

[Damien]

It structure forged together by a dwarf in Mount Doom. It's mithril. Your mithril weane.

[Courtney]

My concern, my concern is that their advertisement shows the condom just like sticking straight up, just on its own.

[Damien]

Like all we.

[Courtney]

And I'm wondering, does this just come out of a sheath and it's just like, it just stands up right on its nose?

[Noah]

No, no. It's a normal condom and it functions like a normal condom.

[Courtney]

Okay, so it's just a normal condom.

[Noah]

With a cool design. I had one sample. I was given a sample. I had a sample. One.

[Courtney]

I feel like I shouldn't ask. How was it?

[Damien]

Could you pop it?

[Noah]

Listen, on the triple. I don't know what size it was and I don't know. I felt like I got the pencil variety because it was very difficult to put on and it was very uncomfortable.

[Damien]

To leave it all the way on with the.

[Noah]

And I'm a normal person, so I felt like I got maybe the extra small sample, but it didn't pop. Didn't pop.

[Courtney]

But you're not. This doesn't sound like a glowing review.

[Noah]

No, my experience with it was not. Although I've never. You know. I'll keep my next sentence to myself. Mm.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Noah]

Yes.

[Courtney]

How good is that sentence we're not hearing?

[Noah]

I've got a question for everyone else. Have you ever had a condom? That was great.

[Courtney]

I did use the kimono.

[Noah]

You did? Oh, my God. How is that?

[Courtney]

They're good.

[Noah]

Yeah. Is that like, sheepskin or something?

[Courtney]

I mean, it beats having an accidental baby.

[Noah]

Yeah, that's true.

[Damien]

More or less. Same sentiment. There's no great one. There are better ones.

[Courtney]

Yeah, for sure.

[Damien]

And I have no kids.

[Noah]

Yeah. Okay.

[Damien]

Or STDs. Wow. So that's honestly dope.

[Noah]

You wanna know something fun? My oldest brother. Apparently, a double accident. That's birth control and a condom.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I have a friend that was the same way. But maybe that's the parents just lying. They're trying to, like, cover up for their. Their, you know, irresponsibility. Be like, oh, no, we were responsible.

[Noah]

You just made me realize, what if both my parents were lying to each other and they didn't even know? One's like, you're on the pill, right? And he's like, yeah. And the other one's like, it didn't break, did it? And he's like, yeah, it didn't break like that.

[Courtney]

But she's like, you're wearing a condom, right? And he was like, no, there's no.

[Noah]

Way that you don't know.

[Courtney]

I don't know.

[Noah]

I don't know. I don't know. Have you ever.

[Courtney]

Are you aware of the show that was. What's that show called? I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant? Yeah. They made an entire television show about women that didn't know that they were pregnant until they, like, went into labor.

[Noah]

So I've seen a clip of a woman talking about how she thought that she had pressure because she had to go poop and that she thought that she went poop. She was like, wow, that was such a difficult shit. I swear to God.

[Damien]

No.

[Noah]

Yes. And when she looked down, there was a baby. She had no idea. Not only did she not know she was pregnant, she thought it was a shit.

[Damien]

But it's a different canal.

[Noah]

No, no, you're misunderstanding. This person obviously has births of shits every day. This person knew. No different between their daily bowel movement and birth. There's larger problems here.

[Damien]

Yeah. One of those sounds like an emergency. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God.

[Noah]

Now, I don't know how much they play those things up, but that's the One that I have seen.

[Damien]

I don't know what to say to that. Yeah, where do we go from here? I think the craziest thing I've ever heard.

[Noah]

I don't know. But my issue is, hopefully it fell in the water part, you know? Cause Porcelain's pretty hard.

[Damien]

Well, look, the baby hitting its head on Porcelain is just the first in a series of horrible things that that's going to happen in that baby's life. When the mother didn't know she was pregnant and pooped the baby into a toilet. That's not the only bad feeling.

[Courtney]

I feel like that's an urban myth. That can't be.

[Noah]

No, that's an ad. That's an ad for that show. 100%.

[Damien]

Okay, but hold on.

[Noah]

Unless I dreamed it, Unless I saw a bit of the show and then.

[Damien]

Went to sleep, I believe that they put that on this show. This is reality tv. They cast someone to do that. Like, maybe she actually didn't know she was pregnant. But for them to be like, what if you played up the story? Like, you really just thought it was a poop? Like, we all know, like, if it.

[Courtney]

Was, can you imagine, like, an adult walking up to another adult? Like, the producer walks up, hey, but, like, what if he thought it was a poop?

[Noah]

Hey, can you just clear this up for us? Just like. Just, like, say it was a poop.

[Damien]

That's reality tv, though. That is reality tv.

[Noah]

Yes. But that's just so funny for this woman to be like, okay, okay, as.

[Damien]

Long as I get my 45American dollars. @ the end of the day, you get your content, sweetheart.

[Noah]

Do you know what else? Sorry, it's equally gross.

[Damien]

You know what else is cool about condoms?

[Noah]

No. The same type of TV shows are like, the ones where I saw the stories of people that they didn't know they had tapeworms until they farted once and then felt something. I watched a lot of these shows as a kid just to really. I don't know. I'd get grossed out and then I would leave. But this one dude farted out a tapeworm and went to go check on it and saw that it was a tapeworm outside of his body. Cause he was like, oh, did I poop? And then he didn't know what to do, so he got scissors. And I feel like he was at his office or something, or maybe it was his house and he had scissors, and he cut it as close as he could to his anus so that it. And it went back up the part that was left.

[Courtney]

I would have tried to pull it out.

[Noah]

No, you can't. Cause they're literally in your intestines. They're in the walls. Like, the fact that it was already coming out his butt like that is, like, it's already 35ft long in him. Like, that's the situation. And that's why there's a show about it.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I think there's a kind where you can, like, oh, gosh, this is maybe too much. But I've heard that there's like.

[Noah]

Sorry, man.

[Courtney]

There's one where, like, you can, like, shine a light. This is.

[Noah]

Shine a light on it.

[Courtney]

Shine a light. Like the doctors can, like, shine a light on the person's butt and the tapeworm will, like, peek out.

[Damien]

What? It's a showman. It sees the spotlight and it says, I'm a star.

[Noah]

It's a little cave person. I'm so sorry, y'all.

[Courtney]

Hold. No, no, I can't go. I can't Google.

[Noah]

Oh, luckily, we have no wi fi here. Is that what's going on? Or you just don't want to do it?

[Courtney]

No, I don't want to do it because I know if I. If I. If I try googling. Shine a light on a person's butthole to have a tapeworm poke out, that's not gonna be a lovely Google image search. I like how we were supposed to talk about the places we wanted to go and.

[Noah]

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

[Courtney]

And the locations.

[Noah]

So sorry.

[Courtney]

All the lovely places.

[Damien]

I'm imagining one person, like, listening the first three minutes talk about it, like, oh, yeah, awesome. I can't wait for them to talk about travel. And then, like, they skip to. Like, they keep sk. Skipping by 10 minute increments, trying to see when the travel is like, prison reform is. Tape would shine on the. What's your favorite condom? Like, the last 10 minutes is like, I don't know. Belarus Sounds cool.

[Noah]

Where is that?

[Damien]

Eastern Europe.

[Noah]

Oh, just in general. Is that like Hungary?

[Damien]

Belarus? I don't know.

[Noah]

Oh, damn. I'm so sorry. I was really curious. I thought you might have gone there.

[Damien]

No, I've never been to Belarus. We could.

[Courtney]

I had. I had Romanian food for the first time.

[Noah]

What is that?

[Courtney]

Technically, it was good. What is it? Technically a.

[Noah]

Like, what is Romanian food?

[Damien]

What did you eat?

[Courtney]

I had, like, a better question. Yeah.

[Noah]

What went in your mouth?

[Courtney]

I had, like, a really, like, tasty, like, chicken stew kind of thing. It was like, chicken and like, maybe it was like a tomato base or something like that, and it had polenta in it. Oh, that was really good.

[Damien]

That sounds really good.

[Courtney]

Yeah. And then I had this dumpling that was, like, the size. It was like a fried ball the size of, like, a baseball. And inside it was, like, cheese and, like, I want to say, like, celery and carrots and some stuff.

[Damien]

That sounds great.

[Courtney]

It was. It was pretty. It was pretty bomb, my dude.

[Damien]

Where. How did that happen?

[Courtney]

Where'd you get was. It was next to where. It was near where I get my. My hair cut. And my. And this. This guy was like, yeah, it's pretty good. And I was like, I've never had Romanian food before. I. I don't think I have ever been given the opportunity to.

[Damien]

Heck, yeah.

[Noah]

That's cool.

[Damien]

Yeah, I like trying new stuff like that.

[Courtney]

Yeah, there's a. There's a Burmese food place or Myanmar food place. I don't know what you would consider it, but I don't know what it's called. Is it. Is it Myanmar right now? Is it. I think it's Myanmar right now. Anyway, there was, like, a. They had, like, a fermented tea leaf salad at this place.

[Damien]

That sounds good, dude.

[Courtney]

It was fermented tea leaf.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

It's like nothing I ever tasted before in my life, and it was amazing.

[Damien]

It's like solid kombucha is what that sounds like.

[Courtney]

Well, it was, like, had, like. It had, like, some, you know, your sort of typical salad things, like kind of like a lettuce, but then it also had, like, a lot of, like, legumes in it, and then it had, like, little jalapenos in it, and it had, like, the French tea leaf.

[Damien]

That's always been surprising to me. The amount of jalapenos in East Asian cooking. I always, like, associated that with, like, Southwestern American or Latin America. I'm like, oh, yeah, jalapenos. But the fact that it is so popular in East Asian cooking, I'm like, wow.

[Courtney]

I mean, it could be a different kind of chili. I don't really know, but it's at least here.

[Damien]

Like, you get jalapenos on pho. You get jalapenos in Thai cooking, jalapenos everywhere. Like, there's jalapenos in sushi now, too. So it's just. I don't know.

[Courtney]

It's a good little boy. But, yeah, it was dope. It was, like, salty from, like, the, like, the legumes, like, nuts kind of things. And then it was, like, it was spicy from the jalapenos, and it was, like, briny from the fermented tea leaves.

[Damien]

That's really good.

[Courtney]

It was. Oh, man.

[Damien]

Yum.

[Courtney]

It was great Burmese food. I give that a big old thumbs up. But I do not want to go to Myanmar right now.

[Noah]

I'm gonna.

[Courtney]

Not exactly a great place for specific groups. Freed up freedom.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Or living. If you're a certain. If you're one of the, you know, persecuted ethnic groups. But there are some other places. What places you guys want to go to?

[Damien]

This is gonna air while I'm in Japan.

[Noah]

Oh, really?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Oh, that's cool.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Back.

[Noah]

Are you going to Shane again?

[Damien]

No. Shane has Goldbergs and stuff and was sort of concerned about scheduling, so I'm actually going with Kevin and his wife.

[Noah]

Hey, yo. That'll be super fun.

[Damien]

It's gonna be super fun. Last time I went to only Tokyo, and there was so much to explore there, you know, barely even scratched the surface. But this time, we're going to Osaka first.

[Courtney]

That's great.

[Damien]

And that's like, the street food mecca of Japan. And I'm excited to try all these different things. I'm gonna get off keto a few days before, so there's no, like, weird transitional period. And then just gonna go to town and gain a bunch of weight.

[Courtney]

Let's go get some takoyaki.

[Damien]

Takoyaki. I'm gonna get some okonomiyaki. Or is it ohnokomiyaki?

[Courtney]

Okonomiya.

[Damien]

Okonomiyaki.

[Courtney]

But you don't want Osaka. Okonomiyaki isn't as good as Hiroshima.

[Damien]

What? But that's where it started out.

[Courtney]

Yeah. It's just not good, though. It's.

[Damien]

Yeah. Whole city doesn't have a good one.

[Courtney]

Well, they might try them all. No, but nah. Well, because, like, the Osaka style okonomiyaki is that really simple, like, savory pancake. It's like the single, like, flat thing. The Hiroshima style is the one with, like, all those layers.

[Damien]

Oh, Shane and I had that style in Tokyo.

[Courtney]

Yeah, they might. I mean, they'll definitely have it in Osaka.

[Damien]

Fair enough.

[Courtney]

But go after the Hiroshima style.

[Damien]

Dude, I'm gonna try everything. I want to try literally everything. I'm excited because I'm a seafood boy.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Damien]

And I've missed having rice while on keto. And so just the combo of all that is gonna be great. I want to make us a reservation at a fancy tempura restaurant. My treat.

[Courtney]

And tonkatsu. Get some tonkatsu. That's.

[Damien]

Well, do you. Is it tonkatsu or tonkotsu? No, you're talking tonkatsu, though.

[Courtney]

Like, yeah, it's Fried cutlet.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Ooh, baby.

[Damien]

Heck y down with that.

[Courtney]

I barely ate sushi when I was in Japan.

[Damien]

Both times Shane and I kept going to these conveyor belt sushi places, which, you know, there is sort of lower end, but they're all like color coded with the plates. Like, if you grab a green plate, it's a dollar. If you grab the orange plate, It's a buck 50 or whatever. But we would just go to town and make these stacks of plates, spend 15 bucks total. And it's like their lowest grade stuff is still the best sushi I'd ever had. Incredible, incredible food. And you just try whatever and you're like, I can't really read that. It looks like it might be sea bream. Oh, well, cut it up.

[Courtney]

Like, did you go to duck sushi?

[Damien]

That was neat.

[Courtney]

Did you go to a busy. A busy place? A busy. Was it. Was it busy? The place with the conveyor bell?

[Damien]

We went to a few different conveyor belt places. One of them was very busy. Another one was always just like it was near the train station and barely had any people in it.

[Courtney]

And that's sketchy.

[Damien]

No, because I feel like, dude.

[Courtney]

Because I feel like if you're doing the conveyor belt, you definitely want to go to a spot that is busy because otherwise that stuff is sitting on the conveyor belt for a long time. But it was fine sushi sitting out.

[Damien]

It was fine. It was a dollar for like amazing tuna sushi. And I'm not talking about like the hand rolls or whatever. I'm talking like nice slabs of fish on top of rice. And even if it'd been sitting there, it was still fresher than anything else I'd ever tasted here. You know, we tried all sorts of weird stuff. So I'm just excited to have another food adventure. It's weird. That food is the thing I'm most excited about when I think about Japan right now.

[Courtney]

Oh, that's like half of my reason for traveling is just to eat food. Like literally just eat food and drink. And that's half my travels.

[Damien]

I remember when I went last time. The first night Shane and I were there, we met up with you and we were like, all right, what are we gonna get? Like, I wanna get some good Japanese food. And you were like, let's go. I don't know. I'm feeling like, let's go get Italian food. And I was low key pissed. Cause I was like, it's my first night in Japan and you're taking me to get Italian. It was I'll be damned if it wasn't the best Italian food I've ever had in my life.

[Noah]

Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Italian food in Japan's bomb.

[Damien]

There's just mastery of whatever you want to do. You pursue mastery. And so if they want to make a pizza, they're gonna find a cool way to make it their own and make it perfect. Same with. Yeah, I had just amazing, like, risotto and duck and all that stuff.

[Noah]

I've never had a risotto in my life, and that's one thing that I really want to have.

[Damien]

What?

[Courtney]

Risotto is great.

[Noah]

I've never had a risotto.

[Courtney]

Oh, it's delicious.

[Noah]

Never. Only from watching 15 seasons of Hell's Kitchen am I now, like, obsessed with perfect risotto. Really?

[Damien]

We need to take you. Like, there needed to be one more episode of Put it in My Mouth where we actually treat you to good food. And we're like, what do you want to try? And you're like, I've never had a pear.

[Courtney]

We should take Noah. Fine dining. Yeah, that should be the next. That should be the next show.

[Noah]

What I've done a lot is go places that aren't that nice. So I've done a lot of stupid things with my money for fun, because I think it's funny. Probably the dumbest thing I've done with my money, other than buying a car and then breaking it a lot and then repairing it too many times.

[Courtney]

Cake pants.

[Noah]

No cake pan. That's like $15. No. I went to a Red Lobster, and I think I spent, like, $320.

[Courtney]

Damn. I do.

[Noah]

Well, that was the statement. I'd never been to a Red Lobster, and the statement was to show up and to order, like, their surf and turf. All the things that were, like, super expensive to try to, like, really, I don't know, just have the full experience of Red Lobster. And it was such trash, like, the worst food I've ever had that I just don't. I don't know.

[Damien]

I loved Red Lobster as a kid, though. I used to do the like. Like, it's not, like, fancy, but as a chain, like, I think it is. What? I. I just saw a show recently. It was called Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, and Lena Waithe was the guest star, and she was talking about Red Lobster and how meaningful it was because it made seafood be associated with, like, fanciness and family in her mind. And it kind of did the same thing for me. So as a kid, for my birthday, I would always Be like, I want to go to Red Lobster. Like, that was my fancy restaurant. And since then, I've learned that, like, you know, it's not necessarily fancy, but it is still. I don't know. It's got that air about it. For, like, if you can't afford crazy, fancy things, Red Lobster is a big deal.

[Courtney]

I think also, like, if you're living in a place that doesn't have a lot of choices and you have a Red Lobster in town, then, yeah, sure. It's like, it's.

[Damien]

It's meaningful. We're going for seafood tonight, kids.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Oh, my God. What did I do? Did I get all A's? Like, what happened? What a treat.

[Noah]

That's so funny.

[Damien]

Yeah, so I don't blame you for doing that.

[Noah]

The best part, I just was really curious of the experience. Personally, I didn't like the food. Their biscuits are what was so good about it. Oh, they were delicious Cheese biscuits.

[Damien]

Chen or Bay?

[Courtney]

That's the only reason to still go to Red Lobster.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Damien]

I don't know, dude. I'm a big fan of fried clams. And how many places can you get a platter that gives you fried shrimp, fried clams, and fried fish? Hit me up Red Lobster. When you're here, you're family.

[Noah]

I guess that's maybe one place that I wouldn't go again. Is a Red Lobster over. I guess the question of where would I go? I definitely wouldn't go a Red Lobster. If I had to go anywhere, though. I'm trying to think around the world. I don't know, but I've heard of this thing called an isolation tank, which sounds fun.

[Damien]

We were talking about that the other day. I want them to put one in the Smosh cast room.

[Noah]

That would be unbelievable. I would never exit it. I haven't done it. I need to find one.

[Courtney]

We're gonna turn into Joe Rogan, where we just have an isolation tank and a sauna and an archery range in our office.

[Damien]

Is that a thing?

[Noah]

Really?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Oh, my God. You know, that's a. That's a man. That's a person.

[Courtney]

He took over Philip DeFranco's old, old office.

[Damien]

Is that right?

[Courtney]

The old Sourcefed office? Yeah.

[Damien]

That's interesting.

[Courtney]

That's what I heard, at least. Rumor has it, never been there. Never, never stolen your information broker.

[Damien]

Where can I find Joe Rogan? Lil Bird, he told me.

[Noah]

Have you guys traveled to every continent? No, and I don't mean tectonic.

[Courtney]

Not even close.

[Noah]

Not even continental. Oh, of course you can't go Antarctica.

[Damien]

What would we be like? Do you mean tectonic or, like, the map?

[Noah]

Well, there's a lot more if you're going, like, tectonically and not just how we drew a map, but yet.

[Damien]

So I haven't traveled to the continent below Europe that they just found, but I was born in Europe. I live in North America. I've been to Asia now. Haven't been to Africa. Have not been to South America. Oh, in Antarctica.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I haven't.

[Damien]

Oh, in Australia. You haven't been to Australia?

[Courtney]

I'm not. I'm not very traveling.

[Damien]

Savvy.

[Courtney]

Savvy, yeah.

[Damien]

The one place I've went, I've already going back to, so I feel like.

[Courtney]

I feel like I should be a little bit more adventurous. I. I just, you know, I have. I have concerns about safety and stuff. You know, there.

[Damien]

There's also so many places to travel where it is safe. Like, where would you want to go that you're feeling. Oh, it's just not quite safe to go there.

[Courtney]

I don't want to make. I don't want to make rash judgments on places. So I don't. I don't really want to say a specific place because, I mean, anywhere in the world is anywhere in the world, you know, save for maybe Syria and a couple other countries are relatively safe for travel. You might get robbed, but you'll probably be safe. I heard this one. This one tip, this guy said that. I think it was Mexico. He said that cartels will sometimes pay off, like, people in the airline. You know, maybe a stewardess or somebody that's working the gate. They'll pay for, like, the manifest, and then they'll Google all the names on the manifest. And if there's any important or rich people that show up on that, then they'll go and find the chauffeur that's waiting for them, tell them to either kick rocks or pay them off, and then they'll hold the sign, and then the person lands, sees a sign, they get in the car, and then they get kidnapped. But, I mean, I don't think that's really, like. That's not something that any, like, regular old person should be worrying about. If you are a. A billionaire listening to this podcast, if.

[Damien]

You'Re an amazing YouTube influencer type like Ethan, he rocks.

[Courtney]

So this person is Ethan.

[Noah]

He rocks.

[Courtney]

So this person said that they always travel on, like, a pseudonym.

[Damien]

Can you wait? Can you do that? You can't do that on a plane.

[Noah]

I wonder, maybe within the United States. No.

[Damien]

No way.

[Noah]

Because you got to check your ID.

[Damien]

17 times, especially 20.

[Noah]

20 on. You're gonna need like certain biometrics on your ID.

[Damien]

Like walk through this thing, hold out your ID but keep your ID in the box. Now hold your ID like there's no way you chauffeur under the pseudonym. So when they go looking for the.

[Courtney]

Show, that's what it is. Yeah, it's the chauffeur. The chauffeur is under a suit. Thank you.

[Noah]

Yeah, because.

[Courtney]

Because if he goes there, like, let's say his name was Bill Gates and I don't know, I'm just made up name. And he goes there and there's a guy holding a sign that says Bill Gates. He's like, hold the fuck up. I put my name on the show to the car service as Gil Bates.

[Noah]

That's a trap.

[Damien]

Gil Bates.

[Noah]

Can you imagine? I think that trap is really funny. It made me think of like some sort of like movie like you know, mile 22 situation where they gotta set up this big CIA trap and like it all pins on. Like them holding the person's name and them self identifying, like that's the whole thing. They're going after Bill Gates. They just have someone at the airport on any day with Bill Gates just.

[Courtney]

Hoping, Just hoping that he lands.

[Damien]

Yeah, interesting.

[Noah]

That's it. Oh, you want to know a fun CIA thing? Sorry, this doesn't matter.

[Courtney]

They long.

[Noah]

I like reading weird things. Apparently at one point they invested in putting microphones on cats in order to like put them out in. I think it was when Germany was east and west or whatever the wall was around that time, so that they could like gather information and put them at different embassies and stuff like that. And so they surgically were able to put a microphone on a cat. Everything, it all went well. And so the CIA guys were like, great, let's test it. But these people work all day long like in a lab underground and they don't get the normal world. So they released the cat to try to get information on just the general public, just in a small test. They did it at like 4. No, no, no. They did it at like 4pm the cat, literally within a minute left, they were listening to it in a van and they heard the cat meow, then try to cross the street and then get run over.

[Courtney]

No.

[Damien]

Holy crap.

[Noah]

So like they spent years and millions of dollars and they accidentally let it out during like rush hour.

[Damien]

I also imagine this like late 80s, early 90s microphones where it just looks like this and it's just with a string Tied to a cat's tail, like, go on normal cat. Mine is like just trying to drag this heavy microphone.

[Courtney]

And then they tried to. I think it was the US government. They tried to train dolphins to like deliver bombs.

[Noah]

That's so fun. Just knock on like the submarine hatch. Just like.

[Damien]

Who there normal dolphin?

[Courtney]

Yeah, not a bomb dolphin, boss.

[Damien]

It's just a normal English speaking dolphin. Do we let him?

[Courtney]

Well then open up the submarine door.

[Damien]

He can't breathe unless you do. No. Where do you want to travel?

[Noah]

Okay. Other than an isolation.

[Courtney]

Cause we got like five minutes, so we can actually.

[Noah]

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry.

[Damien]

You guys enjoy traveling?

[Noah]

Derail things? Where would I want to go? I would want to go places that I guess I know people or can get like a. Not a special experience, but like when I went to France, it was nice because I went there to visit the family that my brother was marrying into. The dad is like a very, very well seasoned chef. Well seasoned along with his food. It was so great. But in France, it was really funny because there was no really help for disabled people if you were trying to use public transportation. Everything was like, you know, 30 stairs, super steep and super slippery underground in order to get somewhere and somewhere else. And there were a couple elevators here and there, but they were all turned off. It was kind of funny traveling in that place and being like, oh, you couldn't really travel. Like my grandma, she had two knee surgeries. So for her it was very difficult. But she's a badass. Like, she was getting through it, but it was really like, oh, this place isn't necessarily for you to travel here. Other than that, the only places I've been. I went to Sweden when I was a kid.

[Damien]

Oh, that's so cool.

[Noah]

It was nice. I would like to go there again. Cause the seasons are so extreme. It's pretty fun to see how a world is different. Yeah, but where would I want to go? I don't really know. I guess the redwood forest was really, really beautiful when I went there. Like Yosemite and stuff.

[Damien]

That's close.

[Noah]

Yeah, that's a place that I would love to go again. That place was actually just really, really cool to touch these trees and to know, like, wow, these are gigantic and big and these are like babies. Yeah, the sequoias. And they used to be huge and thick and thousands of years old. Some crazy shit. And then Paul Bunyan came, you know, and made the Great Lakes with his bowl or whatever happened. So, yeah, I would love to travel to the Redwoods again.

[Damien]

Oh, nice.

[Courtney]

Well, the redwoods. The redwoods are up in. Because sequoia is.

[Noah]

Oh, our sequoia is not redwoods. My entire life as a California. As a Californian, my entire life, I thought they were the same.

[Damien]

Sequoia national park is the redwood forest, right? Yeah.

[Noah]

Maybe they're different trees, though. But they're both in the same place. I don't know. I always thought they were the same. Yeah.

[Damien]

I want to go to. Just firing off the list. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to China. I want to go to Germany, France, England. Anywhere in the uk, Definitely Spain. Literally anywhere in Europe I one day want to go to. Somewhere in the Middle east. Whatever happens to be. You know, politically, things are changing a lot all the time, so whatever at that time happens to be safest and most accessible.

[Noah]

Probably Israel.

[Damien]

Definitely want to go somewhere else.

[Courtney]

Iran.

[Damien]

But definitely somewhere in Africa. Probably like to start with South Africa and then, like, move up the coast. Want to go to Brazil. I want to go to Peru. I want to spend more time in Canada because I only went there for a very brief time. And also there's so much of America I want to see that I haven't. So I don't know. I only started traveling really on my own as an adult last year because, you know, I was always, like, very paranoid with money. I was always, like, saving, because I'm like, I can't spend money on anything now. I'm like, it might be okay to treat myself to a vacation once every couple of years or something, you know?

[Courtney]

So I think that's incredibly important.

[Damien]

I think so, yeah. Oh, and Vietnam. I want to go to Vietnam, but back in time.

[Noah]

Right. Sorry, was that. That was not okay.

[Courtney]

Vietnam's beautiful, my friend.

[Noah]

If you could travel back in time, where would you want to go? You can only travel back 45 years.

[Damien]

Who wasn't having some kind of conflict 50 years ago.

[Noah]

I'm so sorry. The moon. The moon. 50 years.

[Damien]

Portugal. I'm assuming Portugal would be fine. Portugal would be dope. And they have amazing food. Oh, I want to go to. Like, I forget the name of the. If it's Basque or if it's. I know Basque is the people. I'm pretty sure in the language, but I don't know what specifically you call the land.

[Courtney]

The Basque region.

[Damien]

Basque region between France and Spain. I want to go there.

[Noah]

Oh, that's cool.

[Courtney]

Got some good food. Yeah. I would love to go to Vietnam. Like, I think it's. My friend. My friend bought a scooter and like drove all through from like the south to the north.

[Damien]

Didn't, didn't rent one. He just bought.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I think it's just cheaper to just buy like a shitty scooter. It broke on him a bunch of times.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Courtney]

But I guess you could just like go into a shop and be like, hey, can you fix this for like this much money? And they're like, sure. Vietnam would be cool. Thailand would be baller cool to go to something like Shanghai. Do you know what all these places have in common?

[Damien]

They all love coffee. My favorite coffee. I don't know, I thought you totally had it.

[Noah]

What do they all have in common?

[Courtney]

Well, south of Vietnam and oh, French influence. Bangkok and Shanghai by 2050 will all be underwater. A new projection says, well, so will.

[Noah]

We if we're at the same rate. California will.

[Courtney]

Nah, we'll be.

[Damien]

The water levels are staying over there.

[Noah]

I don't know. When I went to Utah really quickly, there's a lighthouse that I was told by the crew that was in Utah, there's a lighthouse in the middle of the desert where we were in the middle of nowhere. And I was like, why is there a lighthouse? And they said, because that's the coastline when all the ice caps melt.

[Courtney]

Well, so the funny thing is you remember those like old projections that said how high the sea level would rise. They found out that the satellite imagery that they were using was actually incorrect because it was, it saw, it was seeing trees and it wasn't accounting for the ground. So they did another.

[Noah]

Oh my. So it's like 50ft higher than before because they thought the canopy was the floor, Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

[Courtney]

So they, they think it's going to be a lot higher.

[Noah]

Oh my God.

[Courtney]

So I would say if you guys want to visit some, some really great low lying areas, see it now while you still can or you know, look to volunteer in something that goes towards climate change.

[Damien]

Oh yeah. Team Trees is still going on by the time we.

[Courtney]

Well, you want to hear a depressing thing about that? I mean, sure. In order to reverse climate change with trees, you would need over. I think it was something 1.2 trillion more trees than we have right now.

[Noah]

Guys. It's real. We all know it. It's the end of the podcast. We're all fucked. We've been fucked for a long time. This information that we all like to know has been around since the 80s. It's been around publicly since the 80s. Even before that. It was researched by companies. The shell corporation, the one that Destroyed the Amazon. So many other things they've known since the 70s, exactly what the air would look like today. From their projection for I think it was 2016, was anywhere from 415 to 420 parts per million of greenhouse gases, whatever the way that we measure it is. And we were at like418 in 2018. So they've known, literally the direct projections. It's been going exactly how we've known for a very long time. And they've purposefully evaded the law and paid people off. They should all go to prison. I love both of you and thank you so much for having me here. I would love to travel to.

[Courtney]

Oh, we still have 15 minutes. I thought you were raising 15 minutes.

[Noah]

Oh, it's not the end. Okay, great.

[Damien]

Yeah, I mean, that was a pretty good sign off. And now I'm pretty sad.

[Courtney]

10 minutes ago you raised your hand like this showing like we had five minutes. You know what the fuck it was?

[Damien]

It was lunch.

[Noah]

They were pulling lunch.

[Courtney]

And I said five.

[Noah]

How many blunts are the bulls?

[Courtney]

Oh, okay.

[Damien]

Well, I wouldn't have rapid fired my list like that.

[Noah]

All the things I wanna talk about. All the people I wanna put in prison.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Noah]

I'm so sorry, guys. That's the tone of my life.

[Courtney]

It's November, guys.

[Noah]

So sorry.

[Courtney]

It's crazy. It's like Gemini season, but with three times more conspiracies.

[Noah]

I don't know. See, that's not a conspiracy, though. That's what sucks is that's not even fake.

[Courtney]

Well, it is a conspiracy, okay?

[Noah]

Not in the way that it's meant to be discredited. It's an act of conspiracy. Yes.

[Damien]

There's the concept of conspiracy and then there's conspiracy theory. Like people can conspire. Conspiring is a real thing.

[Noah]

Yeah, yeah, that's what happened.

[Courtney]

We could still have a conspiracy theory about something that could eventually then be proven as being true.

[Damien]

But there is certainly the connotation of, like, all the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them.

[Courtney]

And of course.

[Noah]

And Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus.

[Damien]

No, that one's. That one's been disproven.

[Noah]

Really? Oh, my God. It was just a memory, dude. Wow.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Holy crap. That's where she went.

[Damien]

Hannah Montana is Hilary Duff. Let the rain fall down.

[Noah]

Mmm.

[Courtney]

Yeah. And also Hilary Duff controls the weather.

[Noah]

Wow.

[Courtney]

She's a government agent.

[Noah]

Are you kidding?

[Damien]

Have you ever seen Hilary Duff and the weather in the same place?

[Noah]

Yeah, I haven't.

[Courtney]

Have you ever seen rain around her?

[Noah]

Yes. Every time.

[Courtney]

Exactly.

[Noah]

Because she controls the weather. That's why she's got that cloud above her.

[Courtney]

Exactly, man.

[Damien]

See, I'm just laughing at this podcast.

[Noah]

Yeah. I want to visit the NSA headquarters. They don't have windows.

[Courtney]

Whoa. Really?

[Damien]

They all use Mac.

[Courtney]

That's cool.

[Noah]

I'm just talking shit now. I'm making a joke on myself.

[Courtney]

I want to go to Alaska.

[Damien]

Okay, that'd be cool.

[Courtney]

When it's not covered in mosquitoes, I.

[Damien]

Think, oh, what's the deal with that right now?

[Courtney]

Is it mosquitoes or flies? I don't know what it is, but.

[Noah]

It'S with the weather.

[Courtney]

It's just during. Yeah. When it heats up a little bit.

[Damien]

All melting, still water.

[Courtney]

People we work with are actually from Alaska.

[Damien]

Strangely.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Two people.

[Noah]

Wait, who's the second?

[Damien]

Jackie and Greg.

[Noah]

Really? Jackie? Wow. She's from Alaska.

[Damien]

Yeah. I started to talk to Jackie the other day. I randomly brought up the Iditarod for getting and it's a dog sled race in Alaska, forgetting that she was from Alaska. And then when I said it, there was just like this silence and she just sort of stared and I was like, oh, I'm sorry. It's like this dog sled racing thing. And then she just chuckles and is like, yeah, I know it is. I'm from Alaska. And I was like, oh, I totally forgot. And she was like, my uncle raced in it. And I'm like, damn, I'm a double idiot. But to be fair, like, there was total silence when I brought it up. It was like, iditarod. Oh, it's a race.

[Courtney]

You know, you literally mans you Alaska, Spain, something.

[Noah]

Yeah, you mansplained her culture.

[Damien]

I. I hate mansplaining. But that's like, blah, blah, blah, business and science. Oh, sorry, sweetheart. Business and science is blah. That's mansplaining. But when you bring up a concept and someone just stares at you for a solid six or seven seconds and then you're like, oh, I'm sorry, I should clarify. That's just normal splaining, right?

[Courtney]

Maybe whatever you said just wasn't interesting. She just didn't respond.

[Damien]

That's very possible, man.

[Noah]

Yeah, that's pretty funny. I'm like, you. I definitely over explain. Yeah, that's like where my brain is always.

[Damien]

I feel like I always get stuck in this trap of like, just with people in general. I'll say a thing, and if I don't go into more detail, people are like, I don't know at all what that is. What are you talking about? But then if I say the thing and think like, ah, I learned from last time. People don't know what this is. And I start to say, oh, it's this thing. People go, uh, yeah, I know what that thing is. And it's never. I'm never right. I'm always an asshole.

[Noah]

You should take a vow of silence.

[Damien]

I would love to. I should just do that. I don't know if Smosh keeps employing me.

[Noah]

Whoa, whoa. What if we. This entire time right now, Conspiracy Theory. Smosh has been Milli Vanilling the entire time. We don't talk. It's someone else voing us.

[Damien]

Shane is just in the background the whole time.

[Noah]

He's doing all of our voices, each one. How crazy would that be? Oh, my God. New Conspiracy Theory. Let's deep fake a new group of YouTubers.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Damien]

We'll call them Team 11.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

And we'll all look like Millie Bobby Brown.

[Courtney]

We'll call him Zoosh. Nobody's taken that name.

[Damien]

Wow, is that right?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Last night you were trying to start a new company, Zoosh.

[Courtney]

Like, no, it's already been made. That was. That was the. That was the channel that Logan and Jake Paul started.

[Noah]

Oh, my. Was it really Zoosh?

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah, Back in the day.

[Noah]

That's so funny.

[Courtney]

Yeah, they. They. They tried to do sketch comedy when they were little kids. I feel like I heard it was adorable.

[Damien]

Yeah, I feel like I haven't heard of any travesties coming from those two recently. I feel like they're cooking something.

[Courtney]

They're cooking. Well, Logan's fighting KSI again.

[Damien]

Oh, nice.

[Noah]

Well, there's also one other thing. Apparently.

[Damien]

Crap.

[Noah]

Now, I don't know if it's in a music video or in a TV show. It's one of the two. But there's. I think they have a TV show coming out, and in the pilot episode of whatever they're doing, there was a joke about filming a dead guy. There was something like that that someone was talking about.

[Damien]

Oh, dope. I'm glad they can laugh at me.

[Noah]

I'm the worst. I'm the worst. I'm Twitter personified. I don't know anything about it, but this one time, I heard someone else say something that was like, he filmed a dead body, and so now everyone don't like him. With that being said, I'm sure he's fine.

[Damien]

Yeah, no, they'll be doing fine forever.

[Courtney]

But, yeah, places I wanna go.

[Damien]

I feel like we just don't wanna talk about it today.

[Noah]

I wanna go to Logan Paul's or Jake Paul's Bank. I want to go into their bank vault. I imagine banks have vaults for rich people. Kind of like Harry Potter.

[Damien]

McDuck diving into the coins that would clearly break his bones.

[Noah]

Or like Mr. Krabs. That's where I want to travel.

[Damien]

Bikini bottoms.

[Noah]

I want to travel to the Krusty Krab specifically.

[Damien]

Oh, that'd be great.

[Noah]

That would be great.

[Damien]

They had one at Comic Con. They had a full on, like, Krusty Krab comic.

[Noah]

Did they give you burgers?

[Damien]

I didn't go.

[Noah]

Okay.

[Damien]

I get really anxious at places like Comic Con, so I usually make a beeline to a few specific booths and try to, like, stick to the outskirts. And then sometimes I'll see, like, oh, from a distance. That's cool. But there ain't no way I'm waiting in line to just look at a spongebob thing.

[Noah]

You know what they should do at Comic Con and stuff? You should be able to rent a cherry picker and just go through the floor. They got tall ceilings. You should just be able to look really wealthy and effectively ride a giraffe. Yeah, one of those. And you're just. You just get a roll and get this really nice angle at everything or.

[Courtney]

Well, because you'd be rolling people over. So that wouldn't be. That wouldn't be.

[Noah]

Those are generally stop in the middle of the aisle.

[Damien]

Like.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

What if you had a cable system and you were ziplines? Yeah, you were zipline. You were, like, rigged up to this cable system and you then, like, kind of just hovered over everyone.

[Noah]

Wow.

[Damien]

I feel like the line would be overtaken by people in Superman outfits, you.

[Noah]

Know, and you would have to have a weight limit. And that would have.

[Courtney]

Just for us. This is just for us.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Like, I'm sorry, where is the influencer? Zipline.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Which is the worst sentence anyone's ever said.

[Noah]

Unbelievable.

[Damien]

Hi. Sorry. The VIP trebuchet. Can you yeet me to the other side of this?

[Noah]

That'd be great.

[Courtney]

I would love that.

[Noah]

That'd be crazy.

[Courtney]

Human cannon.

[Damien]

I would for sure watch an influencer get trebucheted across a. Oh, yeah.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Damien]

Football field size auditorium, whatever. Yeah, that'd be pretty dope.

[Courtney]

I volunteer Trisha Paytas.

[Damien]

I volunteer Trisha Paytas. I don't know. I can't think of anybody.

[Noah]

That's so funny. I feel like you could put any YouTuber in there and it would work. Anyone with more than 2 million subscribers and I think it's a pun.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Hey, in the writers room, I'm pitching Everyone with more than 2 million subscribers.

[Damien]

I want us to start writing scripts like Mad Libs. Like we have a joke about some influencer blank gets shot across the room and we're like, who could it be like? And we all just go through and we're like, alright, so Shane Dawson got launched across with a cannon into a pile of feathers. What did you guys get?

[Noah]

The lights went out. When they came back on, I saw Russell Brand next to other YouTuber.

[Damien]

Do you know what? Do you know what Dobre brothers?

[Noah]

Who are those two brothers that don't. I know a lot of people.

[Damien]

Unfortunately there's Dobrik.

[Courtney]

Unfortunately there's four of them. You mentioned they multiplied.

[Noah]

Youtubers pop up and go in and out of fashion so quick. I don't know about in and out of fashion, but there was that girl who lived in the van.

[Damien]

She's still in.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

It's a matter of like, you know, it is such an ever changing landscape, but it's a matter of like respecting it. Like some people are going to be like flash in the pan but for the time that they're around, they still matter. They still have an audience that cares about them. So it's sort of like recognizing that and just being like, all right, you know, it's still part of the community and you know, so yeah, and just hop. Getting with the times, man.

[Noah]

I recognize they matter. I recognize their influence, I recognize their value. I just can't recognize their name if it was on a list in front of me without a ball.

[Damien]

Because it is quick. It is quick.

[Courtney]

It's just, it gets, it gets harder every year to know like the people that are coming to Vidcon because it used to be such a small community and it's like, oh yeah, I know like everybody that's coming and now. And now obviously it's, it's bigger than just YouTube. It's, you know, TikTok and Facebook and Twitter.

[Noah]

Oh my God. Did you guys, you guys hear that? That the U.S. government is going after TikTok for what? You hear that? Oh my God. The U.S. government. It was on the news and for me, whenever it's on the news and my grandma's watching it, I know that everyone over like 45 that has a child just understood what was happen and I don't even know if she was on Fox or something, but apparently the Trump administration is going after TikTok because they could be tracking all your movements and stuff. Cause it's a Chinese company and this whole anti China thing. Well, yeah, that too. But they're actually collecting data in the same way that everything else collects data and then it's sold and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they're afraid that technically everyone that has it in children. Not that they could put content on it, but I guess they could use the positional data. Like military people that are like on base using TikTok and stuff like that.

[Courtney]

It appears that a lot of people are moving like this.

[Noah]

Yeah, No, I think really. I think really what they're afraid of is like military personnel using TikTok and then they're knowing.

[Courtney]

Oh, they know exactly where they're at.

[Damien]

I've been using TikTok for like two or three, but I don't know.

[Noah]

Yeah, but I don't know how real it is because also like 6 months ago they were like, don't buy any of these computers. I think it was like Lenovo or something because they have a Chinese chip. But the issue is, is it's like, great. You're only warning me when someone else is doing it.

[Damien]

You true.

[Noah]

Tell me when you're doing it. We can all work together and keep my information safe.

[Damien]

That freaks me out. I also had like a credit card breach thing happen recently. So now I'm like super. Like, who's got my what?

[Noah]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Courtney]

You could be assured that the American government definitely doesn't have any of your information. So don't worry. Don't worry about it. Don't be worried about any of your information.

[Damien]

Look, it took me a week and a half to get a new credit card. Life was really hard. And there's only before the incident and after the incident. Old Damien's dead.

[Courtney]

Oh, no.

[Noah]

My credit union. You can print them there, but they print them without raised numbers. And it was so weird.

[Damien]

I have that now.

[Noah]

Yeah. Yeah, it was so strange.

[Damien]

Someone tried to take one of those pressings. Cause their credit card machine was down. I'm like, you can't do it.

[Noah]

Yeah, now it's flat. And I didn't know if it's. Cause they printed it right there or if it's the new thing. That's true. That's crazy. No one at Pizza Hut or anything can. Quickly. I don't know. I don't think anyone's doing that. Are people really doing that?

[Damien]

Well, someone's. This doctor's office I go to. Their credit card machine was down. So there is an actual machine where they take a pressing of your card to charge. That's a real thing. And. But they couldn't do it. So I was like, let me give you my debit card.

[Noah]

I'm scared of credit cards.

[Damien]

They're all freaky.

[Courtney]

Yeah, they're like small and they're like a rectangle. Fuck rectangles.

[Damien]

You know, it's amazing. Hexagons.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God. Can we make a hexagon shaped credit card?

[Damien]

Guys, Cast a thousand hexagons together so my credit card doesn't pop.

[Courtney]

Yeah, exactly. Like.

[Noah]

No, no, no. So the card reader doesn't get pregnant with my bank account information.

[Courtney]

That's right.

[Noah]

Start printing out my money.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Noah]

That's how it works.

[Courtney]

So, guys, I think the big takeaway here is there's a lot of options out there for condoms. Do your research.

[Noah]

I'm so sorry. November is not a fun month.

[Courtney]

Oh, I guess people don't. People don't need to buy condoms in November, right? Because it's. It's no.

[Noah]

No, no shave November.

[Courtney]

Oh, it's not no nut November, is it?

[Damien]

Why is November the month of restriction? When did this happen?

[Noah]

That. Well, if your parents. I mean, every month.

[Courtney]

Nobody actually does.

[Noah]

No, I think people under 18 do it. I think that's the only people. I feel like those are the only people worrying about stuff like that. Everyone who's like an adult can have, mostly can have an open conversation about things. As long as you're not, like, in a business meeting. It's normal.

[Damien]

I do feel like once you become an adult, all those like, oh, you have to's go away. It's like you're not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. That's correct. I'm gonna pinch you. If you pinch me, I'm gonna slap you. Don't touch me.

[Noah]

Pinch me in your suit. Technically, I can get you fired.

[Courtney]

Don't do that. Use a condom.

[Noah]

I don't care.

[Courtney]

I don't care. Like, if you say, just get over it.

[Damien]

Seriously, just wear a condom at all times. All times.

[Courtney]

You don't know what's gonna happen.

[Noah]

I think there needs to be a devil's advocate here.

[Damien]

Does there, Noah?

[Noah]

As devil's advocate, I would say don't support the latex.

[Courtney]

Choose your words wisely. Noah.

[Noah]

Yeah. The oil industry has taken over our plan. You should use Beat Condoms.

[Courtney]

Is that Beats by Dre's condom?

[Damien]

Yes.

[Noah]

Yes.

[Damien]

It's $400.

[Courtney]

It plays a 30 second track of Chronic. Do you remember hit clips?

[Damien]

I do remember hit clips.

[Courtney]

I think that was before me.

[Noah]

Yeah. Is that like when you used to pay for ringtones?

[Courtney]

Sorry, I know we're like tangenting way hard Here. But there was a thing back in the day where it was a thing called hit Clips. And it was this little, tiny, like, device you can carry on you, like a keychain. And you could switch out these cartridges, and it would play 30 seconds of a pop song. What?

[Damien]

You know, like an itunes sample.

[Noah]

The best part of that, you would.

[Courtney]

Pay, like, $10 real money for this, and it was not cheap, and everyone wanted it because it was like an MP3 player.

[Noah]

Could you pick which section of the song?

[Courtney]

No.

[Damien]

No.

[Noah]

That's so fun. It literally gave you.

[Courtney]

It literally gave you a chorus.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And that's what you.

[Noah]

I wanted them just to put the brain, like, just when the song's changing, like, where it's like, no one can recognize what song it is.

[Courtney]

It's just the beginning, guys.

[Noah]

You know this song, and it's, like, amazing.

[Courtney]

It's just the beginning of Darude's Sandstorm. So it's, like, just right when it hit.

[Damien]

Oh, that would be.

[Courtney]

And it just.

[Noah]

Oh, my God.

[Damien]

That's just the buildup and no drop.

[Noah]

Oh, God.

[Courtney]

Blue balls. Well, guys, this has been a totally unexpected and completely derailed podcast travelcast. Wow. I really enjoyed talking about all the places that I wanted to go to. Thank you guys so much for that opportunity. We'll. We'll come back and we'll do. We'll do a real one sometime because I. I think it's. I think it's good. Like, I want to encourage people to travel and see the world and experience new things, new people, and eat lots of bomb food. So, guys, Noah, Damien, thank you guys so much for coming on this week. I had a great time. Thank you guys for listening or watching us. Smoshcast comes out every Wednesday on any of your favorite podcast apps. And the highlight comes out on. On Wednesday on YouTube. The full video podcast comes out Friday. And my favorite coffee, it's. Oh, man, it's so freaking good, dude. And I'm really enjoying all the responses that you guys have been sending me. You guys are trying the coffee. You guys are loving it.

[Damien]

Yeah. Someone stopped me at Disneyland just to be like, I got the coffee. I like it. I was like, cool. Awesome. I'll tell you.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's.

[Noah]

That's cool.

[Courtney]

See that? That's so cool, man. It is good. Cool coffee. I freaking love it, man. All right, we'll see you guys later.

[Damien]

Bye. Thank you.