S1: #6 - Why Shayne Won't Talk Nerdy On A First Date

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S1: #6 - Why Shayne Won't Talk Nerdy On A First Date

Release Date: March 27, 2019
Hosts: Shayne Topp (Shane Todd), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Courtney Miller), and guest Sarah Whittle
Description: In this episode of Smosh Mouth, Shayne, Courtney, and their guest Sarah dive into a range of topics, from personal health struggles and the impact of social media to the intricacies of dating and maintaining authentic relationships. Their candid and humorous conversation provides listeners with relatable insights and plenty of laughs.

---

1. Health Challenges and Self-Care

The episode kicks off with Shayne sharing a personal health ordeal that culminated in a severe toothache and a root canal procedure. His experience underscores the importance of addressing health issues promptly.

• Shayne Todd [36:38]:
  “If you feel any sort of pain at all, don't drink anything. It's a bad move.”

• Shayne Todd [36:45]:
  “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. I was dying.”

Through Shayne’s narrative, the hosts discuss the anxiety associated with dental emergencies and the broader implications of neglecting health care, highlighting the challenges posed by the American healthcare system.

---

2. The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

Courtney and Sarah delve into the complexities of managing social media, balancing professional responsibilities with personal well-being. Courtney expresses a love-hate relationship with platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, acknowledging their utility in promoting Smosh while lamenting their psychological toll.

• Courtney Miller [04:09]:
  "I have a love hate relationship with social media because I, I think it's very fun and I think the essence of it's very fun. But then there's the dark underbelly and probably the long lasting psychological effects that are happening to people who are obsessed with social media."

Sarah adds her perspective on using social media as a tool for visibility rather than personal validation, emphasizing the importance of maintaining boundaries to prevent burnout.

• Sarah Whittle [04:39]:
  "So that's the crazy thing to me because if I wasn't doing this and I was just still working at Chuck E. Cheese or whatever, I don't think I would be on Instagram trying to pump up my likes..."

The conversation highlights the constant pressure to engage online and the resulting mental fatigue, advocating for a balanced approach to social media usage.

---

3. Navigating the Dating Scene

Shayne and Courtney open up about their dating experiences, revealing the pressures and challenges they face. Shayne discusses his reluctance to share "nerdy" interests on first dates, fearing judgment, while Courtney emphasizes the importance of authenticity and mutual interest.

• Shayne Todd [60:08]:
  "I don't talk about that. Cause if I'm not feeling like, oh, I've got funny jokes right now. If I'm just gonna talk seriously, there's nothing wrong with that."

• Courtney Miller [62:07]:
  "He's so easygoing. Everything that I thought a relationship could be, it was. And I was, like, excited about him."

Their dialogue emphasizes the significance of genuine connections over superficial interactions, advocating for honesty and comfort in personal relationships.

---

4. The Impact of Public Life on Personal Relationships

Sarah, Courtney, and Shayne discuss the challenges of maintaining personal relationships while being in the public eye. The conversation touches on the difficulty of finding genuine connections when much of one's life is subject to public scrutiny.

• Shayne Todd [67:04]:
  "It's dangerous when every aspect of your life becomes entertainment for other people. There are certain things that just need to be for you..."

• Courtney Miller [67:31]:
  "I think it's really tough. I don't envy your position because it's like, you know, it's kind of nice when you meet someone new because they're new and you don't know anything about them, but obviously, you're a public figure..."

The hosts reflect on the balance between public persona and private self, emphasizing the need for personal boundaries to preserve mental health and authentic relationships.

---

5. Entertainment, Nostalgia, and Media Critique

The trio shifts gears to discuss nostalgic topics like boy bands (Backstreet Boys, NSYNC) and contemporary films like Jordan Peele's Get Out. They critique the evolving landscape of entertainment, debating whether rapid, meme-driven humor is overshadowing traditional comedy.

• Sarah Whittle [08:15]:
  "That's why I feel like comedy movies are sort of dying because you're never, I was telling my friend this, like, you're never gonna get the same amount of laughs out of, out of an hour long movie that you're gonna get of an hour of looking at memes."

• Shayne Todd [70:05]:
  "I think Jordan Peele has. He's gonna always face an uphill battle with every movie he makes, because going into it, I was expecting a movie with so many layers..."

Their conversation underscores a broader commentary on media consumption habits, the decline of traditional comedic formats, and the pressures faced by creators in an evolving industry.

---

6. Closing with Current Events and Social Commentary

Toward the end, the hosts discuss a recent active shooter training incident in an Indiana elementary school, critiquing the methods used and the psychological impact on students and teachers.

• Sarah Whittle [74:44]:
  "With these shooter trainings, which I've. I never had as a kid growing up. It's. It's like the sheriff department, like, goes in there and they pretend to be the shooters, and they go in and they were using airsoft guns in place of real guns and then faked executing the teachers."

• Courtney Miller [75:21]:
  "It is traumatizing and it just sucks. Like, it's unfortunate that we live in this time where that is an issue."

The discussion highlights the traumatizing effects of such drills and questions their efficacy, reflecting broader concerns about school safety and the mental health of students and educators.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shayne Todd [36:38]:
  “If you feel any sort of pain at all, don't drink anything. It's a bad move.”

• Courtney Miller [04:09]:
  "I have a love hate relationship with social media because I, I think it's very fun and I think the essence of it's very fun. But then there's the dark underbelly and probably the long lasting psychological effects that are happening to people who are obsessed with social media."

• Shayne Todd [60:08]:
  "I don't talk about that. Cause if I'm not feeling like, oh, I've got funny jokes right now. If I'm just gonna talk seriously, there's nothing wrong with that."

• Sarah Whittle [74:44]:
  "With these shooter trainings... they pretend to be the shooters, and they were using airsoft guns in place of real guns and then faked executing the teachers."

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Smosh Mouth, Shayne, Courtney, and Sarah engage in a multifaceted conversation that blends personal anecdotes with broader social commentary. From health struggles and the pitfalls of social media to the challenges of dating and the effects of living a public life, the hosts offer listeners both humor and meaningful insights. Their candid discussions encourage self-reflection and highlight the importance of authenticity, mental health, and maintaining genuine connections in an increasingly complex world.

Transcript

[Shane Todd]

Ramble. Yeah. If you feel any sort of pain at all, don't drink anything. It's bad move.

[Sarah Whittle]

The school is doing an active shooter training. They were using airsoft guns and injured the teachers.

[Courtney Miller]

When I have no makeup on, I look like a tiny little Asian boy. Cause I'm half Korean.

[Sarah Whittle]

Sarah Weedle.

[Shane Todd]

Sara. Weedle. Sara. Sara. Weedle.

[Sarah Whittle]

Sara. Sara.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, right.

[Courtney Miller]

Sarah. Uh huh.

[Shane Todd]

Look at me. Sarah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Smosh cast. Today I am joined by the very lovely Shane Todd.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

And a new, A new guest to our podcast, Sarah Whittle. She, I, I, I guess the easiest way to explain you is Meme Queen.

[Courtney Miller]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Of Smosh.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Well, I obviously have worked for Smosh for three years. I had a little gap in between the Defy Shutdown and this new Smosh. But know I produced for Smosh Pit for about a year and a half and then I moved over to our social endeavors on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. So right now I'm like the lord of all those.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, you're just on Facebook all day.

[Sarah Whittle]

Wow. Shane's just calling her out from the very start, like, so you actually don't.

[Shane Todd]

But for your job. No, for your job.

[Courtney Miller]

Not wrong. I'm on Facebook all day and I actually had a big meeting with people from Facebook yesterday. So it was a big deal.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yep. The Zush. He talked to Zuckerberg And Tom from MySpace was there for some reason, just hanging out in the background.

[Shane Todd]

Well, yeah, he just is on.

[Courtney Miller]

He was like this, still with the thumbs up.

[Shane Todd]

He's like, can I get a job?

[Sarah Whittle]

It's the only way.

[Shane Todd]

Please.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's the only way that people remember him. He's like, remember me? Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm Tom from MySpace.

[Shane Todd]

Tom. I had a bunch of friends on MySpace.

[Sarah Whittle]

You remember when I lost a decade's worth of music?

[Shane Todd]

Oh, I heard about that.

[Courtney Miller]

What?

[Shane Todd]

How do you lose all the music? That was the day the music died.

[Sarah Whittle]

Jesus.

[Shane Todd]

We are hitting it hard today.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. So MySpace lost like a decade's worth of music that was uploaded to their website. Like 50 million worth. Like 50 million songs or something like that.

[Shane Todd]

I'm just shocked MySpace was still a thing at all.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, well, they got bought out by Justin Timberlake and then it never really caught on again. So.

[Sarah Whittle]

RIP MySpace. I hope Justin Timberlake's doing okay. I think he'll do all right.

[Shane Todd]

Boy, I sure hope he's doing fine. I worry about him sometimes. Sometimes before I go to bed, I'm like, I hope JT is all right.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, well, the last thing I saw of him was he was like wearing like a flannel in the woods. People are calling him like a lumberjack or something.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's the last time I heard of him.

[Sarah Whittle]

That was like two years ago. I think he's doing okay, though.

[Courtney Miller]

I know he's doing very okay.

[Shane Todd]

I know. We're friends.

[Courtney Miller]

We're friends. I text him all the time.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

So Sarah, like, with your sort of involvement in Smosh now is sort of like. Because we're like, oh, like we got this YouTube thing that's on lock. But then we have all these other things that I'm personally, and I think I've already mentioned on the smoshcast before, but I'm personally very bad at social media. So it's nice that there's other people that are actually interested in it that know how to use it a lot better than me.

[Courtney Miller]

I have a love hate relationship with social media because I, I think it's very fun and I think the essence of it's very fun. But then there's the dark underbelly and probably the long lasting psychological effects that are happening to people who are obsessed with social media. Even me, I hate how much I'm on social media. I look at my phone way too much. I look at my computer way too much. And even when I'm not working, I'm like, oh, I wonder how that like meme we made is doing. And so I'm just checking up on that just to see and grab data, see what works out there. And, and I don't like it because I'm, I want to be more present and I want to be in people's faces and I get like that people don't work in social media and they're still on social media a crap ton too.

[Sarah Whittle]

So that's the crazy thing to me because if I wasn't doing this and I was just still working at Chuck E. Cheese or whatever, I don't think I would be on Instagram trying to pump up my likes, but maybe I would, I don't know. But like, for me, like, it's, it's a, it's a tool. It's, it's a way to like get what I'm doing out there. Yeah. I'm not like, if I was just like working a regular job, if I was a lawyer or something, I wouldn't be trying to boost my engagement.

[Courtney Miller]

No. And for me it's like, professionally, obviously that's a goal of ours, to be making good content. But personally, like, My personal social media.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's all just your cats.

[Courtney Miller]

It's just my cats. It's just makeup. It's. It's not, like, opposite. Optimized for likes and engagement. Like, I. It's really just kind of like a diary for me that's public, and I just do what I like and occasionally stalk a couple people. That's. That's what my personal.

[Shane Todd]

That's what it's for.

[Sarah Whittle]

And I can't even stalk people on Instagram because I know that people are watching who I'm following. So, like, I can't follow. I can't follow, like, certain accounts that I think people are gonna, like, judge me for or, like, I don't like to follow friends that. That aren't really. Like, we do. Because then I feel like people are gonna see that I'm following these, like, people that aren't in YouTube and go bother them.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

So I'm, like, very, like, mindful of, like, protecting the people that, you know, aren't in this.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. For sure. Because it is. It is public. Like, that's the thing that's. Like, sometimes we don't all realize it's super public. Like, when I Snapchat my cats, I'm like, people are in my apartment right now watching my cats, watching my life. It is. It is a very private, yet public forum. So it's great because, like, you know, Shane and I are always on Twitter, like, exchanging jokes and stuff like that and DMing jokes, and it's. It's fun on that front, but then there's the underbelly of it. That's.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Not great.

[Sarah Whittle]

But also, because I don't follow that many people, I actually don't really get that many updates on Instagram or Twitter, but I still find myself refreshing and scrolling through, and it's so mindless because I'm not actually getting anything new some of the times, but I'm like, I just feel the need to do this, and I have no idea why. And I'm going to the Instagram Explore page, which is just a lot of hot garbage for me.

[Courtney Miller]

It's all makeup and animals.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because that's, like, all my accounts I follow.

[Shane Todd]

I'll find myself in that loop, which is I'll go on Twitter, be looking through the news, be looking through whatever. Be like, oh, I wonder if there's anything interesting. Oh, there's something. Okay. Blah, blah, blah. Done. Let me check Instagram, what's on here? And then I'll be like, oh, but now it's on Reddit. And then once I'm done with Reddit, I'll be like, now what's on Twitter at this point? I'll go through that cycle.

[Courtney Miller]

You know what it is, and you're going through college for psychology or whatever you're doing, but you can probably speak to this is because I find myself doing the same thing, just grabbing the phone and looking at it and opening everything up. And it's like, I think we're actually, as a people or generation, we're afraid to sit alone with ourselves and we're afraid to just sit and think, maybe be present, maybe, you know, think about life and where you are. And I think that is uncomfortable for most people. And social media has made it easier to distract yourself from that.

[Shane Todd]

I think our time has become so much more precious because our brains have gotten so used to constant and rapid fire stimulation that it's why like entertainment is so short now. It's why the idea of like a 10 minute sketch or watching a movie or a TV show is harder. Because it's like, oh, do I want to commit to this? Whereas it's like, oh, I can commit to a seven second thing though. And we're committing to constant seven second, five second things over and over and over again.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's why I feel like comedy movies are sort of dying because you're never, I was telling my friend this, like, you're never gonna get the same amount of laughs out of, out of an hour long movie that you're gonna get of an hour of looking at memes. Like, there's no way, like if you're looking at memes scrolling through memes for an hour, your laughs per minute are gonna be much higher than if you're watching any kind of comedy movie. No matter how good that movie is, you're not gonna be laughing as much as an hour of just scrolling through, you know, Reddit or whatever. But yeah, it's, it's, it's a little weird.

[Courtney Miller]

Maybe it'll swing, maybe it'll. Cause, you know, everything's kind of like works in circular patterns. Like maybe it'll, maybe it'll slow down soon.

[Shane Todd]

No memes forever. Memes will never die. Sarah.

[Sarah Whittle]

It is kind of weird that like memes I guess are kind of like the democratization of comedy though anyone's able to do it. And like people that are really proficient at it are, come from like the most random places.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. It's also fascinating how every social media platform has a very different personality. Oh, 100% very different. There's A lot of jokes about how Instagram is like, look at my life. It's so incredible. And Twitter's like, I hate myself and I hate everything. It's very true. It's so weird.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's true. Like, Twitter is a lot of depression content.

[Shane Todd]

It really is. And Instagram is the exact opposite. Nobody posts a post on Instagram being like, wow, I hate myself today. Everything sucks. But they do.

[Sarah Whittle]

We just don't follow them.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, no, it's just like, even when they do do that, like, I notice girls do a lot of like, you know, hashtag no makeup selfies. Like, this is who I am. We need to accept who we are. And when we wake up and. And I'm like, even that is manufactured. So I have a hard time. It is a highlight reel on Instagram.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. Everything. Everything people post, it seems like on Instagram is some sort of way of like, heightening yourself. Because even when it's like, it's like, this is me without makeup or this is me like in an awkward position, I'm like, yeah, but in a way, it's still flattering. Or even if it isn't, you're doing that as a means of showing off your personality in a highlighting way.

[Courtney Miller]

For sure.

[Shane Todd]

When you're face tuning your personality in that.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. When you see a no makeup selfie from me, it also has my three other chins in it. So that's why.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. There was a. There's a streamer. Her name is Pokimane. And she gotten a lot of. She got a lot of flack because people took unflattering screenshots of her from her Twitch stream and she wasn't wearing makeup. And then she was like, no, like, look, here's me without makeup. But then she, she was all like, very, like, posed shots and like, bright lighting and it's like, no, you're still trying to make yourself look good.

[Shane Todd]

And that sucks. She was put in that position because, like, that's not fair.

[Sarah Whittle]

I mean, women, women on, on, you know, Twitch or any platform are going to be criticized a lot more than. Than guys.

[Courtney Miller]

Yep. Yeah. I don't. I think we all have to accept the reality that we all look ugly sometimes. And it's totally okay. Like, I have no shame about that. When I have no makeup on, I look like a tiny little Asian boy because I'm half Korean and that's just what I do. And my husband loves it. He loves the, he loves the little Asian boy side and the super glamorous side of me because that, that is who we are. There's lots of husbands listening to this.

[Shane Todd]

Podcast being like, sarah, what are you saying?

[Courtney Miller]

He's Italian. He's legit Italian.

[Sarah Whittle]

Is this where we start 10 minutes of imitating Claudio?

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, I do a. I've been working on my impression of Sarah's.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, we gotta give him a little background. He isn't like, okay, so my husband.

[Shane Todd]

Claudio, he's an Italian fisher she found on the port of Venice.

[Courtney Miller]

I used to be a mermaid, and I sold my.

[Shane Todd]

She was out. She was finding herself in Italy like a typical Julia Roberts movie.

[Sarah Whittle]

He was trying to find a green card.

[Shane Todd]

She read Eat, Pray, Love, and just took it way too far. She was out in Venice, and he was out fishing and just goes, hello, beautiful woman. You're so gorgeous.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that sounds exactly Claudio.

[Shane Todd]

My impression is getting there. It started off just kind of like Spanish.

[Courtney Miller]

You guys are very good at him saying my name, though.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's the only thing I really.

[Shane Todd]

Sarawedo.

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't think I've ever heard Claudia say anything else other than Sara.

[Shane Todd]

Sara.

[Courtney Miller]

I could speak English.

[Sarah Whittle]

No, I've never heard him speak ever.

[Shane Todd]

He just says sarah La. You just understand his language. He's like a Pokemon. He just says your name.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, he's Groot.

[Shane Todd]

Over and over again.

[Sarah Whittle]

Sara Weedle.

[Shane Todd]

Sara Weedle, Sara. Sara Weedle.

[Sarah Whittle]

Sara.

[Shane Todd]

You toss him a treat. He's like, no, Sara.

[Courtney Miller]

He's gonna love this. He's gonna love this.

[Shane Todd]

He's really the greatest guy.

[Sarah Whittle]

And then at a bar where it's loud, it's like, sara, Sara, Sara.

[Courtney Miller]

It is. It is like that all the time. But he barely responds to when I call him Claw. Like, I'm like, claw.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's because that's weird. You shouldn't call him Claw. I don't think that's a good name.

[Shane Todd]

He only responds to Sara. You have to say your name. And he'll be like, oh, Sara. Sara Weedle.

[Courtney Miller]

He's the sweetest boy.

[Sarah Whittle]

Do I have a doppelganger here?

[Courtney Miller]

He's the sweetest boy. And it's a real marriage. It is a real marriage.

[Shane Todd]

It's not a fake marriage.

[Courtney Miller]

It's not a fake marriage.

[Sarah Whittle]

Not a green card marriage.

[Courtney Miller]

Not a green card marriage. Oh, it's a real marriage.

[Sarah Whittle]

But there was a time limit, right?

[Courtney Miller]

Well, okay, so he is an immigrant. And so we had to go through the marriage process, and it's. We had to get lawyers and everything because they actually interview you to see if you're a legit couple. So a part of getting his green Card is the interview. And so the lawyer actually gave us test questions because they will ask anything.

[Shane Todd]

What are they? Are they intense?

[Courtney Miller]

Some are intense, and then some aren't intense at all. And so they want to figure out they have, like, a representative there from the government interviewing you. You have to bring pictures of you guys together. I had to bring social media posts from, like, two years ago because you.

[Shane Todd]

Have to prove that you are in love.

[Sarah Whittle]

I guess, like, technically you. Somebody could pay you off, and then you could pretend like you're married for three years or two years.

[Courtney Miller]

And that happens. That does happen. And actually my mom, because she's Korean, from Korea, they had to go through the same process, too. And my mom and dad, she had.

[Sarah Whittle]

To dig into her Facebook photos from 1963.

[Shane Todd]

So obviously, they're testing, like, they want to make sure you've been together, like, you've been hanging out for a certain amount of years. But are they also testing like you're in love? Like, this is real?

[Courtney Miller]

It kind of is, yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Or is it like, no. Cause you can just hang out with. It's like, hey, if we arrange this, we'll just live together, go do stuff for five years.

[Courtney Miller]

They're not like, make out in front of us. We'll see if it's hot or not. Like, they're not like this.

[Sarah Whittle]

That would be my test.

[Shane Todd]

Why are they all your interviewers from a blue collar comedy tour? Well, let's see if you're really in love.

[Sarah Whittle]

Make out.

[Courtney Miller]

But some of the questions French.

[Shane Todd]

All right. Make out. Nice. All right, the interviewer's ready to see you. I'm just the secretary.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. I like that. You guys look like you're real in love. They ask questions like, you know, have you met each other's parents? Questions like that. What do you like about each other? But then they're also like, what color is her toothbrush? What does she wear to bed? What side of the bed does she sleep on? And sometimes they'll separate you guys during interviews. I think if they feel like it's really sketchy, they'll, like, put you in separate rooms, make sure you have the same story.

[Sarah Whittle]

Like a YouTube video. And you each draw the thing on the whiteboard, and you're like, what? What do I wear to bed? And you both hold up the sign like, boxers, Silly.

[Courtney Miller]

It's the newlywed game. But, like, legal with you die if you lose. Yeah. So we had to go through that whole interview process, and it was, how did you do?

[Sarah Whittle]

Like, 90%?

[Courtney Miller]

We failed. No, I'm Just kidding. We succeeded. The guy at the end was like, okay, I believe you guys. You guys should have the paperwork and your green card coming soon.

[Shane Todd]

You both answered. Sarah Whittle for every question. Saraweedle.

[Sarah Whittle]

Sara Widdle.

[Shane Todd]

Saraweedle.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. But we were both very nervous. Cause also, the lawyer was telling us that if you get someone who's in a bad mood or someone who's just a little more strict or just jealous.

[Sarah Whittle]

Of your love or just jealous, honestly.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, and just thirsty and sad. No.

[Shane Todd]

Or someone who falls in love with Claudio at first sight. Very possible.

[Sarah Whittle]

Also, like, I'd imagine, like, I'm sure when they're hiring these people that are doing the vetting, I would assume that they make sure that they're not racist. But, like, if they're deciding, like, which, like, nationalities of people are.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, yeah. And that makes it more difficult because if it's.

[Sarah Whittle]

Because obviously, like, a lot of people, like, have probably different sort of preconceived notions of when. When it's a certain, like, ethnicity coming.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, my parents, when they went through the interview, many decades in the 80s, they. My mom was in the interview with me in her arms, and the guy was like, hitting on my mom in front of my dad and questioning if it was a real relations. And my dad was like, it took everything for me to not just, like, kick his ass. And it sucks because that he was the decider in their relationship.

[Shane Todd]

Such a position of power.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly. And it's, like, so scary.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's scary as hell.

[Courtney Miller]

Mm. Mm.

[Sarah Whittle]

Dude. What?

[Courtney Miller]

But obviously my parents. Marriage is real. Cause they're still together.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

30 years later. 32 years later.

[Sarah Whittle]

Hell yeah.

[Shane Todd]

When you go through something like that, it's like, we're gonna stay together.

[Sarah Whittle]

Were you. Were you born. Were you born here or.

[Courtney Miller]

I was born here, but I think they were probably on, like, a fiance visa. This is like, all stuff that you learned throughout this whole process. So because they had met in Korea, obviously, like many military. Because a lot of military guys. My dad was in the Air force. They get stationed in Korea. So they met in Korea. There's a lot of half Korean babies that are military brats. And he proposed her very quickly because he had to come back to the U.S. and yeah, they moved here and had me, like, two years later, and I had to go through the interview process then. So.

[Sarah Whittle]

Wow.

[Shane Todd]

My dad was stationed in Korea probably a few years after him.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, we've talked about that. Yeah, but your dad was a pilot, and my dad was, like, a military cop, so maybe they wouldn't know.

[Shane Todd]

Your dad would have been trying to catch my dad doing bad stuff. Hey, you're doing bad stuff. My dad's like, ah, I'm gonna get my jet and fly away. Your dad's like, ah, you get away this time.

[Sarah Whittle]

All they gave me was this baton.

[Shane Todd]

That's how the military works.

[Courtney Miller]

No, he had a gun.

[Shane Todd]

No, he had lasers.

[Courtney Miller]

He had lots of guns. He actually was in charge of the armory at some point in Wyoming, which was like their cabinet of weapons that they had.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, that's right. You're from Wyoming. You're from nowhere land. You're the only person from Wyoming.

[Sarah Whittle]

All of Wyoming listeners in Wyoming. All two of them.

[Shane Todd]

All two of them.

[Sarah Whittle]

And they're both elk.

[Courtney Miller]

We will see that Wyoming bump after this. I tell you why.

[Shane Todd]

Even if we got all everyone in Wyoming could listen to this and we'd still be like, man, these numbers are not great.

[Courtney Miller]

It would not reach the numbers of ear biscuits.

[Shane Todd]

It's a very low population.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's around 500,000.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's literally the size of, like, where I. The city that I grew up in.

[Courtney Miller]

I think that's like our block we work on.

[Shane Todd]

Yes. Crazy.

[Sarah Whittle]

Literally, there probably is that statistic where it's like, there's more elk than humans.

[Courtney Miller]

There are. Yeah, that is a statistic.

[Shane Todd]

If the elk decide to have an uprising, which they are planning, they're huge. Humans are screwed.

[Sarah Whittle]

They're huge.

[Shane Todd]

And moose, if they get the moose on their side too, and the deer.

[Sarah Whittle]

Come down from Canada.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, moose are there.

[Sarah Whittle]

They're there.

[Shane Todd]

Moose are there.

[Sarah Whittle]

No, they stopped him at the border. Like, we don't trust you, moose.

[Shane Todd]

They're like, what's this all about? Eh?

[Courtney Miller]

This is how slow news is in Wyoming is. One day a moose was, like, on the front lawn of the library and it made, like, the front page paper.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's pretty impressive.

[Shane Todd]

That's hilarious. Yeah, that's hilarious.

[Sarah Whittle]

What's the lamest news that you ever.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, this is how I knew I was like. Cause I've always wanted to be in media. I used to want to be in television. Like, television news or reporting or something like that. And I knew I had to leave Wyoming because they had done a report on how hot the slides get in the summer.

[Shane Todd]

Yo, that's real, though.

[Courtney Miller]

And the guy, like, touched a slide and was like, it can get up to 98 degrees.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, no.

[Courtney Miller]

And will burn your child.

[Sarah Whittle]

98 sounds like kind of love. Isn't that like. That's like the temperature.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know what Burning temperature is. No, your. Your body is 86.9.

[Sarah Whittle]

Don't come, don't come here with the science.

[Courtney Miller]

It is.

[Shane Todd]

Is it?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, you're, you're.

[Sarah Whittle]

When you check your temperature within your.

[Courtney Miller]

Mouth, it should be 86 degrees.

[Sarah Whittle]

No, it's 98. It's like 98.

[Shane Todd]

I thought it was in the 90s. I always thought it was.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, I'm just a cold blooded bitch.

[Sarah Whittle]

Why do you think the band was called 98 degrees? All right.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, because the Hot bodies.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's right.

[Shane Todd]

Because it was the normal is a moose.

[Sarah Whittle]

All right, so, so Sarah, you, you, you know, you're. You're our age. You grew up in the, in the heyday of, of boy bands. Which, which one? All right, so if you had to put it at NSync, Backstreet Boys, O Town, 98 Degrees. How would you rank them?

[Shane Todd]

Well, we got to go. Backstreet Boys. Because we saw them.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I'm gonna. I actually like, not just because we saw them in Vegas, but because they were the best. I really enjoyed Backstreet Boys because they were all little, you know, a lot of. A lot. What? They were all a little like, weird looking, which I've always.

[Sarah Whittle]

Backstreet Boys.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. They weren't so generic.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. Cause NSYNC only had the. Only had Chris Kirkpatrick, who was a little weird looking.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. And Joey Fatone was like Joey Fatone. And so it's like the Backstreet Boys. I loved Kevin and AJ with the tall, dark and handsome facial hair. And when we were.

[Sarah Whittle]

You were an AJ Stan.

[Courtney Miller]

Dude, I was an AJ Stan. I was always a Stan for anything that was like less popular.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. AJ was the worst for sure.

[Courtney Miller]

Cause I didn't like, just like, if anyone. I never am jumping on the bandwagon.

[Sarah Whittle]

Any of them are on Megan's Law. It was definitely aj.

[Courtney Miller]

But didn't he. He carried the concert. Aj, He. You. When we went to the concert in Vegas like a month or two ago.

[Sarah Whittle]

He carried the concert because nobody likes him. So he's trying extra hard.

[Courtney Miller]

Or maybe he's the only one.

[Sarah Whittle]

If you're Nick Carter, you're just, you're just looking like a snack. Like, you don't need to work that hard.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, exactly. You don't need to have the talent if you're looking like snack.

[Sarah Whittle]

Right?

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, that's. It's a weird one because I feel like with the other boy bands, the most talented was kind of leading it. Right. Like in sync. Justin Timberlake and then later on with One Direction. I Feel like styles.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Carried it, but I don't know. I don't know.

[Sarah Whittle]

But like the different stuff, the difference with One Direction is they all split off and had amazing careers.

[Courtney Miller]

They really crushed most of them.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, well, I mean, they've all had. They've all had career.

[Shane Todd]

Only three or. No, no, four. Four of them have had like hits.

[Sarah Whittle]

Afterwards, I feel like they've all had hits. Am I wrong?

[Shane Todd]

I don't know much about them.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, I'm just gonna tangent really quick, guys. We got our first ever sponsor, baby. Yeah. And it's Postmates. Other than your absolute best friends, who could you ask to bring you coffee at 4pm, sushi at 9pm and a breakfast burrito, 8am Postmates, baby. Postmates is your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever you can think of. Delivery service all year round. No more trips to the store. You don't even have to know where the store is, dude. Postmates will deliver anything to you. Download the app on iOS or Android for free, browse local restaurants and businesses, and track your delivery 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Postmates will bring you what you want within the hour. Anything you're craving, Postmates can deliver. They're the largest on demand network in the known universe with more than 25,000 partner merchants. And for a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app right now and use the promo code Smosh. That's code smosh for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. When you download that Post Mates app, get anything you need, anytime you need it. Download Postmates and save with code Smosh. Now back to our regularly scheduled random conversation going back to Backstreet Boys in Vegas in particular. So, Sarah, he's gonna yell at us. You what exactly?

[Courtney Miller]

He's like, I'm bringing this up. Let me get a talking to you, Sarah.

[Sarah Whittle]

So you had a party out in.

[Courtney Miller]

Vegas, Sarah, what was was my birthday party.

[Sarah Whittle]

It was your birthday party and you invited Shane and several other people. And I was at home and looking on Instagram. I was like, wow, I know all of these people that are having so much fun in Vegas.

[Shane Todd]

Matt Robb was there.

[Sarah Whittle]

Why was I not invited?

[Courtney Miller]

Matt? Rob was there. Yeah, I think I did invite you. Nope, I'm pretty sure I invited you and Courtney. And it wasn't like an official invite because this is the thing. I don't ever want people to feel like they're obligated to do something big like that. And I have a weird thing of, like, even when. No, no, no.

[Shane Todd]

I just love this. Like, hey, I'm having my birthday party. You don't have to go.

[Sarah Whittle]

It wasn't you.

[Shane Todd]

Please, please. You don't. I'm just saying, like, no pressure. You don't.

[Courtney Miller]

I have a weird thing. It's like, I don't want to ask too much of people. I don't want to ask too much of people, and I don't want to be like, if you don't come, then you're not my friend. I'm always like, the, hey, if you want to come, let me know. I would like to have you there. Like, I'm not gonna force you to go there.

[Sarah Whittle]

There is that.

[Shane Todd]

For those listening. Ian has a tear rolling down his cheek.

[Courtney Miller]

So I might have, like, casually invited you.

[Sarah Whittle]

It was so casual that you didn't speak a word of it to me.

[Shane Todd]

It was so. It was so casual that you were talking about it with someone else. I walked up and then you stopped talking and you shushed the other person.

[Sarah Whittle]

What are you guys talking about?

[Courtney Miller]

I fucked up. I fucked up. I'm sorry. Ian, you're definitely invited next time. For what it's worth, we had a great time.

[Sarah Whittle]

Good.

[Shane Todd]

It was amazing. And that's the key.

[Sarah Whittle]

I watched the Backstreet Boys concert from, like, five different Instagram accounts.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, you really. We all did.

[Shane Todd]

Just Steve Zaragosas, he just kept zooming in on weird dads who were not that into it.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, I actually enjoyed that.

[Courtney Miller]

It was a very solid group.

[Sarah Whittle]

I feel like the. Yeah, because the people just talking about the weird dads that were at the concert, Like, I think a lot of those people that go to those concerts, they just get those shows, like, comped from, like, Vegas things.

[Courtney Miller]

We were so confused because it was. It was us, Claudio, two of my friends, Elliot Morgan from the Valley Folk, Steve Zaragoza from Valley Folk, his girlfriend, and then Grace Helbig and Matt Robb. And so it was like a big group of us. And Grace and I were next to each other during the concert, and there was just a dad in front of us sitting the entire time. And, of course, Grace and I are dancing the whole time, screaming and shouting and crying and everything. And this guy was just scrolling on Instagram, like, why would you go to.

[Sarah Whittle]

A concert if you don't enjoy it? Like, just. Just leave.

[Courtney Miller]

Just go to the casino. Like, I had. We had a friend. I had a friend on the trip that he was not into it, so he just didn't come and he just met up with us later. Because Vegas is like Disneyland for adults. Like you can find something to do for two hours.

[Sarah Whittle]

I would say Vegas is the Vegas for adults. It's. It's kind of a trash heap.

[Shane Todd]

I honestly. I honestly don't love Vegas that much. I like if I'm with a group of friends. Like, I enjoy hanging out with friends and stuff. But overall, Vegas, I'm just not a big gambler. Yeah, I think it's because I just have shit luck when it comes to gambling. I have really good luck in almost other. All other areas of life. That's the area where I'm like, I just can't.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, I think everyone has shit luck because it's luck.

[Courtney Miller]

Yep. Yeah, I did win like $3,000.

[Sarah Whittle]

Don't say that. Don't say that on this. Don't encourage people to gamble.

[Courtney Miller]

This is the thing. No, I will say I don't. I don't love Vegas. Vegas is one of those towns that you have to make it what you want it to be. So it's like I'm not gonna be wearing heels and a tight dress and go to the clubs. I am wearing sweatpants and getting free drinks and eating at buffets and hanging out with my friends doing karaoke. It really is what you make it.

[Shane Todd]

You very clearly see the two types of people at Vegas when you're walking around there because you'll see people who are wearing suits dressed up. It's 7am but they're dressed up like that. And. But there's always that guy who's wearing a. Like, just a. I don't know, the friggin.

[Sarah Whittle]

The shirt with a tuxedo print on it.

[Shane Todd]

Or just a shirt that's got a fish on it or whatever. Like just some late. Like what are those? The. The Cabeus Tommy Bahama, like Tommy Bahama shirt.

[Courtney Miller]

Or just, just like the vacation.

[Shane Todd]

Like they got. They clearly got like a shirt at a gas station. They're wearing shorts and flip flops. They're walking around right next to those people tucked.

[Sarah Whittle]

I think, I think one of the big issues with Vegas, apart from the fact that it just simply shouldn't exist. I mean it's a giant city in the middle of the desert where there's no like. I mean it shouldn't exist in the first place. It's also just like. I think people have the wrong idea of Vegas and they come there and they're like, sin City. I could do what the fuck I want. Treat everyone like shit. And oh, God.

[Shane Todd]

Here.

[Sarah Whittle]

So you get a lot of just like, really, like, bad.

[Courtney Miller]

But also you get strangely a lot of families. And I'm like, yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Why? I was brought to Vegas when I was really young.

[Courtney Miller]

Me too.

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't get that.

[Courtney Miller]

And we accidentally went to a topless show with my family.

[Shane Todd]

That's awesome. See, I wish something like that.

[Courtney Miller]

13 or 14.

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't know how they brand, like, rebranded Vegas as a place to take your kids. Because there's dudes standing on every corner handing you these cards with naked ladies on them.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

And, like, everyone's drunk.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, it's not a family friendly place. Like, it should only be like a 21.

[Shane Todd]

Mainly because it's just not fun for kids. When I was a kid, I hated it.

[Sarah Whittle]

No vacation is fun for a kid.

[Shane Todd]

That's not true. That's not true at all.

[Courtney Miller]

I had great vacations growing up.

[Shane Todd]

There are such. My family didn't really go on vacation, but I think there are definitely vacations that are good. I mean, what if you go on a Disneyland vacation?

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, we went on Disneyland.

[Shane Todd]

Or like, you go to the Bahamas or something. That's a fun vacation. I think. I, like, I went to. I don't know, I went to Yellowstone with my. With some family when I was a kid. I loved that. Like, I love camping, but maybe I'm just lame. Yeah. But Vegas especially. Cause you kind of get dropped off at, like, they'd be like, all right, hang out here at Circus Circus, the play place. There's a clown smoking a cigarette in the corner. You can talk to him. So, yeah, I didn't get to do much. And you're not allowed to, like, walk through the casinos or anything.

[Courtney Miller]

No, they'll stop you.

[Shane Todd]

I'm like, this sucks. Hate this.

[Courtney Miller]

Don't bring your guys. Don't bring your kids.

[Shane Todd]

Food is.

[Sarah Whittle]

The food in Vegas is really.

[Shane Todd]

That's really what you go for.

[Sarah Whittle]

There's a lot of really good, like, Asian food out there.

[Courtney Miller]

So good.

[Shane Todd]

The buffets, they step.

[Courtney Miller]

I love buffets.

[Sarah Whittle]

That up. Food's great there. I think I've been to Vegas like, six times, and I've never really had a Vegas experience. I've always been there for, like, some other reason because, you know, people just don't invite me to, like, birthdays. So, you know, just.

[Courtney Miller]

Next time, Ian. Next time.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, sure, sure, sure. I mean, I actually had another. This reminded me this thing that you actually did invite me to. We. We did a little. A little St. Patty's Day or pre. St. Patty's Day Pub Crawl. So we could instead be hungover on St. Patty's Day, which I think was a very good strategy.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. It was a Saturday smart celebration, so we could be okay on Monday.

[Sarah Whittle]

And I was. I was talking to one of your friends, and he's a guy that you. That you met on some, like, meetup thing.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

And. And he was like. And he's like, yeah, I think I'm like. I think I'm Sarah's, like, best guy friend. And. And I was like. I was like, oh, it's cool. He's like. I was like, yeah. And I was gonna say, like, I'm. I'm. I was like, about to say, like, yeah, I guess I'm like, Sarah. And I was like, wait, no, I'm not even Sarah's best co worker guy friend. I'm just. I'm. I'm nothing.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, come on.

[Sarah Whittle]

Cause I'm like, well, that's Shane. Or it's Matt Robb. Ooh. Who is it?

[Shane Todd]

We're very different kinds of friends. I feel like. Yeah, I feel like Matt, Rob and I are the angel and devil on your shoulders.

[Courtney Miller]

So Matt Rob is kind of like my older brother. Like, he always is bullying me in the office. He's always making fun of me. He actually handcuffed me to my desk last week. So he's like my older brother troll. And Shane is more like, we're just friends. Like, we're peers. You're my twin. He's like my twin.

[Shane Todd]

We're the same person.

[Courtney Miller]

We're the same person.

[Sarah Whittle]

You guys wear the same makeup.

[Shane Todd]

If I don't wear makeup, then I look like a little Asian boy.

[Sarah Whittle]

Like Sarah.

[Courtney Miller]

No, him and I. Shane and I go from having very dumb conversations to very intellectual questions to just staring at each other in silence.

[Shane Todd]

Really with anger.

[Courtney Miller]

With anger. Just like flipping each other off and stuff like that. But Ian, you're a very close friend of mine too. Don't. Don't make your.

[Shane Todd]

But Ian your president.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's.

[Shane Todd]

That. That comes above all relationships.

[Courtney Miller]

You're kind of my boss.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, you're like a Jedi. You gotta, like, you know.

[Courtney Miller]

No, we've never actually spent a lot of quality time together, to be honest, Ian.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's true.

[Courtney Miller]

Shane and I have spent a lot of time because we did a lot of shoots together and, and all the summer and winter games, but you and I have never really had a lot of time to bond.

[Sarah Whittle]

Never done a one on one.

[Courtney Miller]

I've been trying to get you to go to dinner with me for weeks now.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's not true.

[Shane Todd]

It's true.

[Courtney Miller]

I have receipts. I have receipts. I have texts on my phone.

[Sarah Whittle]

You probably have.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

I'm so bad with text messages.

[Courtney Miller]

You're terrible.

[Sarah Whittle]

I need to text my dad back.

[Courtney Miller]

I texted you. I was like, hey, let's go to dinner sometime. And you just went, yup.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Todd]

You did.

[Courtney Miller]

He just goes, yup. And I was like, cool.

[Shane Todd]

Yup. Dude, I don't know how I feel about texting. Yup. Y. U w. I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I think I had a period on the end too.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, I don't think. I don't think that. That just feels like you don't care.

[Courtney Miller]

That was the energy.

[Shane Todd]

I got a yup or a yep is basically a no.

[Courtney Miller]

And I hate people who end things with periods in texts. Like, that are supposed to be fun. Yeah, let's hang out sometime. And they're like, yes, period. Well, that sounds fun, but.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, no, no. I didn't say, yup.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Sarah Whittle]

I said yes with an exclamation mark.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, that's very different.

[Sarah Whittle]

And then you said, cool, we'll do it. And then the next week, you said, dinner next Tuesday, and I didn't respond.

[Shane Todd]

Wow. Flat out, dinner ghosted.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm so glad we brought me on this podcast to just call each other out.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. But I feel like. I feel like that's because we ended up, like, whatever we needed to talk about, we actually talked about here. Like, we got. Yeah, we got some time to. To, you know, do a one on one.

[Courtney Miller]

And then we had fun on St. Patrick's Day.

[Sarah Whittle]

We did.

[Shane Todd]

Sorry I couldn't make it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, you were dying. Shane's out.

[Shane Todd]

I was at the Goldberg's wrap party.

[Courtney Miller]

No, but then you were dying.

[Shane Todd]

I was dying.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, yeah. Last week around, like, Wednesday, I started to feel some pain in my face. Like, my right jaw, bottom teeth. I was like, ah. I'm like, it's not feeling so good. I think it was on, like, Thursday. And meanwhile, I've been kind of gone the past couple weeks. I've been filming on Goldberg.

[Courtney Miller]

He's never here.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Shane decided, well, let's hold on that. Go ahead and tell your story, and we'll talk about how you're never here.

[Shane Todd]

Okay. So I'm filming on Goldbergs, but I'm also coming here to film some stuff. And I think I was here on Thursday, and I was talking to Sarah about, like. I'm like, yeah, my face kind of hurts. I think I grinded my teeth in my sleep.

[Courtney Miller]

And I think.

[Shane Todd]

I think my Jaw. Jaw hurts. I think that's it. It'll get better. So Friday it's worse, but I'm like, ah, it's fine. It's just my jaw. It's okay.

[Sarah Whittle]

Tmj. Too much jaw.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, too much jaw. And we were supposed to wrap the season on Goldberg's on Friday night, but we still had some extra scenes that I had to shoot on Monday. So we wrap and I'm kind of hurting that night. I'm having trouble sleeping. Saturday, my mouth starts to really hurt and it's starting to spread. So I'm like, that's weird. That's not normal. But I'll be okay. Cause I hate the dentist so much and I don't want to go. So Saturday night is the wrap party for Goldberg's. And I go and I meet up with at 5:00. We get dinner beforehand and Olivia's there with Sam and a bunch of the cast. And I'm in enough pain there that I'm like kind of silent at dinner. I'm just kind of sitting there like, ha. This is a good time. We're having fun. And I get to the.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's the worst.

[Shane Todd]

And my mindset was also kind of like, maybe if I drink some beer.

[Courtney Miller]

I can numb myself, I can cure it.

[Shane Todd]

Like, oh, maybe that'll help. But I started drinking some alcohol and that made it so much worse. My gums were immediately just like inflated like a balloon. And I was like, oh, oh God. That's. Maybe one more beer will help. Not recommend their beer. Yeah. If you feel any sort of pain at all, don't drink anything. It's bad move. But I wanted to go to this wrap party and I wanted to have fun. Cause it's like it's once a year. And it also might. We don't know if Goldberg is gonna get picked up for another season. So I was like, I wanna enjoy this with these people. But you just had so bad. I mean, the pain was getting so bad. I even got a chance to meet like a comedy hero of mine. Patton Oswald was like talking. Cause he does voiceover for the show. He's talking to me and some of the cast like about. He's like, oh, you guys are great. Whatever. And I was just like, kinda just looking at him but not seeing anything.

[Sarah Whittle]

You're just crying.

[Shane Todd]

I eventually leave early. I just. It's 9:30 and I'm like, I gotta go. And granted, the party started like 6:30 super early for some reason. But I leave, I get home, I don't sleep From Saturday night until Sunday morning, or I don't sleep until Monday. I don't sleep until Monday. And I'm just writhing around in my apartment. It's getting so bad. It's the worst pain I've ever experienced in my adult life. My side of my face is throbbing. It feels like my teeth, my lower right teeth are gonna explode. Sunday morning, I have not slept. It's 5am I know my dentist doesn't open for another couple hours. I call them and I leave this, like, frantic message, and I'm like. And meanwhile, they've been calling me the past couple weeks being like, hey, you're due for a checkup. Like, make sure. Like, having regular cleanings will keep those cavities away. So I call them at 5am and I'm like, hi, Help. Yeah. Literally, it's like the beginning of a horror movie. Like, I'm like, my name's Shane Topp.

[Sarah Whittle]

And you're like the guy that ate too much weed brownies and then called 911.

[Shane Todd]

He's like, I think I'm dying.

[Sarah Whittle]

I think I'm. I'm dead.

[Shane Todd]

I think I'm dead. No, I'm not kidding. My message was probably like, that. I'm like, I'm having a lot of pain in my face. I need an appointment today. I need to come in today. And if they were gonna call back and be like, I'm sorry, we have no appointments. I was gonna go to the er Cause it was that bad. I'm not kidding. It was so I. I was like, holy God, if someone said I wanted to jump off a bridge at that point, I was like, I can't do this. I cannot do this. They call back, and I had to go. I had to go at a 6am call time. So I went and I shot Goldbergs. And I had a scene where I had to be, like, super jovial and happy. And in between cuts, I'm just off to the side, just holding my face. They call back and they're like, yeah, we can do 1:30. And I was like, great. And then I get home at 9:30 and I call them back and I go, I need to come in now. And they're like, okay, yeah, we can see you now. And they're walking distance from me. So I ran there. So they must have been like, yeah, we can see you right now, so please come over. Hang up the phone and burst open. I'm just like, yeah, I'm here, please. And they get X rays done. And I mean, I'm just like, Please, whatever it takes. And they're like, yeah. So this tooth towards the back, the nerve is dead and infection is spreading across your face.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Todd]

And they're like, yeah, you need a root canal right now. And I'm like, great, let's do it. I've never been so excited to get a root canal. And so, yeah, that. I got a root canal, and now I'm on antibiotics and I'm doing better, but that was awful. That was. That was the worst. Yeah, that was the absolute worst.

[Sarah Whittle]

I've never. I've never experienced, like, really bad tooth pain, but that frightens me so much also, because I am. I don't like making phone calls. I don't like. I don't like making appointments.

[Shane Todd]

So, like, sounds real hardy.

[Sarah Whittle]

And I don't know what it is.

[Courtney Miller]

I get it. I do, too.

[Sarah Whittle]

I'm like a block.

[Courtney Miller]

Can I schedule online? Can I do that? Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

But also, making phone calls nowadays, you're kind of crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

You're weird.

[Shane Todd]

You're weird. If you call. Like, this is changing the subject. But if you get a girl's number and then instead of texting her first, you call.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, God.

[Shane Todd]

What do you call?

[Sarah Whittle]

Psychopath?

[Shane Todd]

Hey, this is Shane. We met at the thing the other day. Like, thought I'd call and just see if you'd want to get dinner sometime. No, no. You're a psycho.

[Sarah Whittle]

I wouldn't know what to do.

[Courtney Miller]

I completely agree.

[Sarah Whittle]

If it was somebody I just met and they called me.

[Shane Todd]

When people call, like, you need to give a heads up before a call.

[Sarah Whittle]

I think it was just a good. I think I feel like we just entered into this. This world at a good time because I didn't like phone calls when I was growing up.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, same. I've never liked it.

[Sarah Whittle]

Hated it. And my mom and my grandma, they'll, like. If you get the two of them on a phone, they will not stop talking ever. And I never liked it. So I. I went. I went without going to the dentist for, like, five years.

[Shane Todd]

Because you didn't want to call them?

[Sarah Whittle]

Because I just. It's not that I hated the dentist. I think dentists are great. But I just never. It just never struck me that I needed to make an appointment. And then. And it wasn't until my ex was just like, I made an appointment for you. You're going. I was like, great. And then I, like, went in the dentist. I'm like, yeah, I'm finally gonna find out how up my teeth are. I'm not going. Five years, and I had like, four cavities. And I was just so excited to, like, just get it done. And then they're like, you're gonna have to come back in three months. I was like, great. But, like, because I was already there, I could just make the appointment if I had to call and make the appointment. Like, it just takes me so much longer. Yeah. Like, I feel like the skin on my hand is falling off and, like, I need to see a dermatologist.

[Courtney Miller]

I do, too. I have, like, four things I need to go to the dermatologist for, and I'm just like, I just.

[Sarah Whittle]

Just wait till they all rack up and then just pile it onto them that once.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's what I did last time.

[Courtney Miller]

I just hate billing. I hate when it, like, with health, anything, like doctors, appointments, dentists. I just hate it when it comes to billing.

[Shane Todd]

Well, it's expensive, man, to live even with insurance. It's super expensive because we're Americans.

[Sarah Whittle]

Freedom. Freedom might be free, but our medical isn't.

[Shane Todd]

I have a friend who, like, she went to Prague for. For film school, and she came back, like, for a visit recently, and I was like, so, yeah, you're gonna move back to, like, work on films here in la. And she's like, honestly, it's really nice having free health care. I think I'm gonna just stay in Prague. I was like, wow. All right, dude.

[Sarah Whittle]

When I was. When I was in the hospital, I was talking to a nurse, and she was talking about how. And you'll understand this probably because you probably heard some great stories from Claudio. She was in Italy and she was on a Vespa, and she. And she's like a big motorcycle person or something. She fell off her. Her Vespa and broke her arm. And she went to the nearest hospital, and they said, well, we're a private hospital. We're not the public hospital, so it's gonna cost a little more. And she was like, well, I. I don't, like, I'm not gonna, like, drive across town with a broken arm, so I'll just bite the bullet and have my arm set here and cast and everything. So how much was it? So she had her arm set, cast everything out the door.

[Courtney Miller]

€150, which is about $170.

[Shane Todd]

Wow.

[Sarah Whittle]

And that was the expensive hostel.

[Shane Todd]

Espresso.

[Courtney Miller]

Espressos are like a dollar in Italy.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. My root canal is a little bit more than that. A little bit more.

[Sarah Whittle]

Just a little bit.

[Shane Todd]

Just a little bit.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, we're glad you're here and you're alive and you don't have an infected head. Congratulations.

[Shane Todd]

And I'm finally, like, back. I've been kind of, you know, MIA for a couple weeks.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Like, with. I just had so many different things. You. It was Goldberg's, and your head was falling apart and.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, it was mainly Goldberg's. And then I took. I had to take Monday off because of the teeth. I almost came in, but then I was texting Sarah.

[Courtney Miller]

I was yelling at him.

[Shane Todd]

I was like, yeah, I was. I was thinking I maybe come into the office, but I don't know. And, like, I was, like, fresh out of the root canal.

[Courtney Miller]

It was like 10am And I saw him doing bits on Instagram. What the hell are you doing?

[Shane Todd]

I hadn't. I hadn't been active in a while. Going back to the Instagram thing, I was like, I haven't posted in forever.

[Courtney Miller]

But he was like.

[Shane Todd]

Even though I also saw an opportunity because I was. Joe. Joe Beretta told me. He's like, you should do Instagram stories right now while you're numb. Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

While you're covering. You should work.

[Shane Todd]

That's. That's very Joe Beretta.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

It's the most Joe Beretta thing.

[Sarah Whittle]

He's like, you're suffering. Use it.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Use it for your pain.

[Shane Todd]

They were great Instagram stories, though.

[Sarah Whittle]

They were.

[Courtney Miller]

I was just. I just. I didn't even watch them. I just, like, immediately started momming you and being like, relax. You said you retired the last couple of weeks. Just relax. Stay in bed. Postmates, food.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. So if you guys don't see Shane in videos for, like, a month, it was because he was on. He was on Goldberg's. Like, it was always. It was literally, like, every day we filmed, you were at Goldberg's, and we're like, okay, we think we can get you in here. And then, like, day before, you're like, uh, Goldberg's called it out.

[Shane Todd]

The schedule would change so much in the final couple episodes of Goldberg's. The. The writing kind of catches up to them. Cause, like, they're. They try to stay ahead.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

But in those final two weeks, it's. It's hard. So scheduling gets crazy, and they're often figuring out the scheduled day of.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's. So. It's so nuts to imagine. Like, you see that. You see those shows, and you just assume that it's all written beforehand and it's all planned out and then. And then they go and shoot it. But they're. They're literally making rewrites on the day.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. Which is very Often insane. I was bummed, though. I was bummed to miss the Zachary Levi. Try not to laugh.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, and you missed some pretty good fan fiction.

[Shane Todd]

I know. I was very, very bummed. I had a good. I had a good joke, or not a good joke, but I had a joke prepared for Zachary Levi. I was gonna walk out. I was gonna face away, and I was just gonna yell, shazam. Oh. Oh, no. And then I was gonna turn around, and you will have seen that I peed my pants. Just drenched my pants. And I was gonna be just like. Did I say it wrong? Think that would have gotten him?

[Courtney Miller]

Very good. Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

And then I'd have been like, you're my favorite pizza place, right to his face. Then I would've hit him.

[Sarah Whittle]

He's. He's a lot more.

[Shane Todd]

He was great.

[Sarah Whittle]

Handsome in person than I thought. Than I thought he was going to be.

[Shane Todd]

I saw him at the gym a few years ago.

[Courtney Miller]

He's a master.

[Shane Todd]

And I was like, sup, Zach? He's like.

[Sarah Whittle]

He is massive. It's always weird, like, when you see, like, a movie star, television star, that's like.

[Courtney Miller]

They're usually smaller than you think. Like, you know, like Tom, Chris Pratt and him. Yeah, they're massive. People like Zachary Levi could be like a pita around you. He could just fold in half and be a pita. He was a. I just stood next to him, and I was like, oh, my God. It just. It's so nice to just be next to a tall man like that.

[Shane Todd]

Sara, I'm listening.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, Claudio's tall.

[Sarah Whittle]

Do not talk about another man. I'm sorry, I can't say anything other than shazam.

[Courtney Miller]

Shazam.

[Shane Todd]

Shazam.

[Sarah Whittle]

Shazama.

[Shane Todd]

Shazam. The pene pasta with the shazame.

[Courtney Miller]

Very good.

[Sarah Whittle]

Now I'm starting to wonder if this is just racist.

[Courtney Miller]

No, actually, I took Italian classes before.

[Shane Todd]

Our wedding, so she's Italian. Don't worry.

[Courtney Miller]

So I'm Italian.

[Shane Todd]

No, she can say whatever she wants.

[Courtney Miller]

But every time in class, I tried to be, like, chill with the pronunciation because I didn't want to, like, seem offensive. Yeah, he was like, no, more like, more. So, like, the more you're actually, like. Sound like you're making fun of Italian words. Like you're pronouncing it completely correct.

[Sarah Whittle]

Right?

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, they're passionate.

[Courtney Miller]

They are very passionate.

[Shane Todd]

Romantic language.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's funny. So just the harder, the more stereotypical you go, the better it is. So if you're like, bastardo, then Astaro.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, exactly. Guys. You guys are nailing it.

[Sarah Whittle]

I'm looking I'm looking at this. We just have a little. A little list of things to possibly keep on track. And you added a couple things on here that I don't know what it's referring to. The story of Muh. Fuck.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I think I'm wondering if this. Okay. No, it's.

[Courtney Miller]

It was a couple years ago.

[Shane Todd]

I actually think this started before. So I. For those who don't know, I do a character called Courtney freakin Miller on a lot of episodes where I just wear a Courtney Miller type wig and I just yell a lot.

[Courtney Miller]

And the story came out of Courtney was sick during a seriously super stupid sleepover shoot. And so we were like, well, what? Can Shane do it? And then Shane was like, can I put on a wig and be Courtney Miller? And we were like, okay.

[Shane Todd]

And I kind of just. I play that character. I'm gonna lean back really far and suddenly like, yeah, just talk like this.

[Sarah Whittle]

I'm crazy.

[Shane Todd]

But anyways, where that actually kind of started, that voice and everything was. I was talking to Sarah once how I'm like, yeah, sometimes when I'm driving, I just, like, yell. I'll just be yelling a lot. I'll just be like. I'll just. Cause like, in the morning, I'm tired, so I'll be driving down the street. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And so we just started. We just started, like, yelling that at each other.

[Courtney Miller]

At each other.

[Shane Todd]

And like, it would be in the middle of a workday, and I would just walk up to her desk, and she'd be in the middle of working, and I'd just be like, sup?

[Courtney Miller]

My fuck son.

[Sarah Whittle]

My fuck son.

[Courtney Miller]

My fuck.

[Sarah Whittle]

This is a violent workplace.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I get bullied a lot.

[Shane Todd]

Said with a lot of love.

[Sarah Whittle]

You do get bullied a lot. But it's all out of love.

[Courtney Miller]

It's all out of love. And I've always been a girl with a lot of guy friends, and I've always been kind of like the target.

[Shane Todd]

Boy.

[Courtney Miller]

I've been the target of a lot of stuff.

[Shane Todd]

Like, there's a lot to dissect there.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's. I think it's. Cause I laugh, honestly. Cause I think it's very funny.

[Shane Todd]

I'm the same way, like, getting roasted. I laugh.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's so great. A good roast is so good.

[Sarah Whittle]

Is that a defense mechanism from your growing up?

[Shane Todd]

Shut up.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I'm a very happy person. I actually yelled at Matt Rob because I found a magnifying glass in a green room here last week, and I Pulled it up to my eye. And I was like, look at my eye. And he was like, wow, you're dumb. And I was like, wow, I'm enjoying simple things in life. Fuck me, right? I just, like. I think life is very fun, to put it very simply. So I like to laugh.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Live, love, laugh, eat, pray, love.

[Shane Todd]

Well, I think it also comes down to, like, there's.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Sarah Whittle]

Now I feel like bullying is okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Cause you said that.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. That's not okay. Wow. I can't believe you said that.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Todd]

But I think it also comes from, like, I think you're very confident in yourself, like, in certain aspects. Right. Like, nobody's fully confident in everything, but. But I think you're able to laugh at yourself because I think you're very aware of who you are.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Shane Todd]

So you're aware of, like, what's a joke. And, like, if I don't.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't see any purpose in reading into things because it's like, I'm the type of person that's like, if you're looking for that negative thing, you will find it.

[Shane Todd]

Totally.

[Courtney Miller]

So it's like, even if Claudio is like, you know, like, I like that shirt today. And if I look at that as, like, why today? Why not every day? Why not? And that's where you go crazy, because you're just reading into everything that everyone is saying, and you will find that thing. So if it's like. If you're literally just taking it as it is, I think is much healthier and much happier, for sure.

[Shane Todd]

Damn.

[Courtney Miller]

Because if you look for the positive, you find the positive. You look for the negative, you will find the negative.

[Shane Todd]

That's actually. That's very true.

[Sarah Whittle]

I just don't go looking for anything.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, that's. Then you're never disappointed.

[Sarah Whittle]

Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's my.

[Shane Todd]

He said dead inside.

[Courtney Miller]

So yesterday we all saw us.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because we did. We're now doing, like, smosh outings as a family, which is very nice that people actually care about office culture now.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. We never had an outing for, like.

[Sarah Whittle]

I like everyone here.

[Courtney Miller]

I do, too. And yesterday we went to dinner before the movie, and I just sat around, and I honestly had a moment of, like, I'm so happy. Like, I just had a moment of, like, I love all these people, and, like, you guys are my family. I did have a couple of jobs in between, you know, leaving Smosh and coming back, and I liked those people. But it's just, like. Honestly, coming here was, like, my first day. I, like, came in, and I felt Like, I was coming home.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I gave everyone a hug, and it just, like, it felt like family, and it was so nice. And so, like, we all had dinner. I was so happy.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, it's very great.

[Sarah Whittle]

Where were you going with that, though? You said.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I was talking about.

[Shane Todd]

That's very nice. What. What is this?

[Courtney Miller]

No, Ian leans over because.

[Shane Todd]

I'm sorry, I'm bored.

[Courtney Miller]

Back to Ian leans over at dinner before us, and he just looks at me dead in the eye and just goes, sarah, what's it like to love someone?

[Shane Todd]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

And I was like, what? Are you okay?

[Sarah Whittle]

Because I was looking around, and several of us are hopelessly single people, and you and Claudia just seem so well matched together. You mentioned that you. You've never gotten in a fight with him, which I find that impossible to believe, because you're crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm not. I'm. I'm a very easygoing person in relationships. Really, I am. Because I did grow the confidence in my first relationships when I was younger. I was crazy because I was looking for things, and I felt insecure in the relationship, too. And, like, when you feel insecure in the relationship, it's just not gonna work. And it's like. And if you're not confident in yourself, it's never gonna work. So. But I also got. I won the lottery with Claudio because it was like, he. And it sounds so dumb because I was a pessimistic person. I was like, I'm never gonna date anyone in la. Everyone's like a Peter Pan boy in la. They just want, like, the hottest new thing and keep you at arm's distance. So I was fine. Concentrate on my career. Just do it. And he came into my life, and all those people that say, when you know, you know, and all those things, they came true. It was like. It just clicked. He's so easygoing. Everything that I thought a relationship could be, it was. And I was, like, excited about him. And so he's made it incredibly easy. And I don't think I honestly would marry anyone else, because I realized that in all of my other relationships, I never felt compelled to be. Get married, because I was like, I don't. I don't feel like I want to marry you. Like, I want to be with you, maybe, but with Claudio, even with the green card things, but I. To keep him in the country. No, but I really felt, like, compelled to get married and. And. And wanted that future with him. So we don't know if we want to have kids or anything like that, but.

[Sarah Whittle]

But at the beginning, like you were saying like every time that you saw him, you, you were like, oh, that's.

[Courtney Miller]

Gonna be the last time.

[Sarah Whittle]

That could be the last time.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, because his, his dating style, you know, he grew up in Italy, so it was like in Italy, men and women, guys and girls are always friends. Like they're always hanging out in big groups and there's no like maybe no romantic things happening. And then eventually you might have a spark with someone and it grows into something more. In LA especially it's like, can I take you out on a date? Let us, let's go on a date. Like let's.

[Shane Todd]

Don't you want to date? I find you very attractive.

[Courtney Miller]

And especially in la, you know, people are dating many people at the same time. And so maybe nothing serious is happening, but you're seeing multiple people. And so him and I like just, I was seeing a couple of people and he was only seeing me. And so like, you know, months after we were like kind of casually seeing each other, but he was definitely keeping me at arm's distance. He was like, am I the only one you're dating? And I was like, excuse me, what? So we had a big freak out and that was probably like our biggest like hurdle we had to get over. But at the end of the day he just wanted to only date me. So I'm. That's not a bad thing at all.

[Sarah Whittle]

You were making a face.

[Shane Todd]

I think I was just laughing in my mind.

[Courtney Miller]

But I want to talk about you guys in dating like, cuz it's like I, I've talked to Shane a bit about dating and everything like that.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, you've been a bit of a coach.

[Courtney Miller]

I have been.

[Shane Todd]

I have been a sage for me. I, I have bad luck with it and I'm not good with dating. I'm not good at it. I feel very, I don't know, I feel very like obligated sometimes. I think as soon as I start dating someone and that's a lot of pressure for me. Cause I feel like, oh, I owe this person. Like I need to like explain. It's just a lot of pressure.

[Courtney Miller]

But also like Shane comes off as like an extrovert and he's very funny and he's easy to talk to. But you are actually kind of an introvert.

[Shane Todd]

Very introvert.

[Courtney Miller]

In a big group, you're the quiet one. It took me a solid year to really get to know you and break through it. I think you are a very introverted person.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. Cause in a way the loud, comedic, crazy person That I am is very much who I am. But there is other parts of me that it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable. I don't feel comfortable not being funny. Sometimes I have to do that or else. Cause then that's part of the obligation of I need to be entertaining. And it's when I go on a date, once I'm done with a date, I am so exhausted, it feels like I ran a marathon. Because the entirety of the date, I'm so worried about that person being bored that I'm trying to just like entertain, do so much stuff. And which I've gotten better about because obviously like it's a 5050 thing.

[Courtney Miller]

It should be, it should bounce back and forth.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And it should feel like you're not putting on a show. Of course. First date, second date, third date, you are putting on a show. Like the first time Claudio and I hung out, I thought he was like so self centered and everything because he was talking only about himself and not asking questions.

[Sarah Whittle]

Ooh, that's a no.

[Shane Todd]

No, I recognize.

[Courtney Miller]

But he was just insecure.

[Shane Todd]

I definitely, I recognize that with myself too. Because I won't talk about certain things or certain things that I like. I'm like, oh, they won't like that about me. But then I'm like, why I should bring that up then? Cause if they're not into it, I won't talk about the nerdy things I'm into on a first date. I won't talk about what nerdy things? Not that nerdy, but just video games or watching anime or something like that. I won't talk about that. Cause I'm like, oh, they may not like that, but I'm like, if they don't like that then they shouldn't date. And just my personality, if I'm not feeling like, oh, I've got funny jokes right now. If I'm just gonna talk seriously, there's nothing wrong with that.

[Courtney Miller]

No, there isn't. What about you, Ian? Like what are you like on a first date? I'm very curious.

[Sarah Whittle]

I mean it could, it, it differs. I mean I like to banter with people like, especially people that I don't know. So like I think sometimes it could come off as I'm like talking shit like cuz I'll just. Not that I'm like nagging them, but like I like, I like a little like push and push back.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And, and to like. I totally agree. Like it's, it's exhausting when you're Just trying to do, like, the. Like, the, oh, where are you from? Oh, and it's. And it's like you're just struggling to find some way to relate to the person. And I'm. I hate that struggle. And I don't even really want to go there. And it just feels so cheap and pointless and just not authentic. So I just prefer to just, like, cut through that and just kind of.

[Courtney Miller]

Give them shit immediately.

[Sarah Whittle]

Just get to, like, just banter. It's friendly banter. And, like, I hope I'd never, like, offended anybody.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, what's up, you dumb idiot? Thanks for meeting me at Olive Garden, stupid.

[Sarah Whittle]

But, like. But that is, like. That is a bummer. Like, if I'm throwing something at them, they're not throwing it back.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like, yeah, it's hard to find someone with the same sense of humor and that can keep up with you. Because I even dated a guy one time and he didn't know till three, four dates. He was like, oh, you're funny. And I was like, oh, boy. Because you kind of have to do that boring crap in the beginning to just.

[Shane Todd]

I hate it.

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't wanna do it so much. You have to do it.

[Courtney Miller]

It's boring. I mean, that's why Cloudy.

[Sarah Whittle]

It just doesn't feel genuine to me. And that's the issue. It's like. Like I feel like I'm not being myself. And so I want to be as true to myself as possible and not put up a front that's not me.

[Courtney Miller]

It's not putting up a front. I think you're putting a foundation down for something more than just giving each other shit. And so it's like, as a girl or as a woman, I guess when someone's, like, genuinely interested in who I am, and then I can feel relaxed.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because it's like a lot of girls. And I even felt secure. It's like, why are we going on this date? Are you just in it because you're attracted to me? Are you just want sex? You just want to. You want to pay for this? And, like, be flashy. Like, it's tough to go on a date as a female because you don't know what the motivation is.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, that's gotta be scary.

[Courtney Miller]

And so it's hard to sit down and, like, open yourself up. But if someone honestly is kind of, like, sitting there and genuinely interested in who you are, that's a huge turn on. Whether or not that ends in a relationship or anything sexual doesn't matter. It's just. You're making a connection. Then at that point, I also don't.

[Sarah Whittle]

Like talking about myself. So I enjoy hearing about the other person and then just talking about stuff. But then when it gets turned on me, I'm like, I was talking to one of your friends, and she was like, so tell me something. I was like, so I just. And this was near the end of our little Patty's Day crawl. So I was. I had a couple drinks, and I was like, tell you something. Okay. We dropped more bombs in Vietnam than. Than all the bombs that were dropped in World War II.

[Shane Todd]

Wow. And I was just, like, real charming.

[Sarah Whittle]

I was just looking to just, like. Just see what, like, her. She's like, no, like, something about yourself.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, good on her.

[Sarah Whittle]

And I was like.

[Shane Todd]

I'm sad.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm sad.

[Shane Todd]

I'm kind of bummed.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. I don't know. It's not.

[Shane Todd]

You don't talk about yourself.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's not fun to talk about yourself. And it's hard for me to talk about myself and what I do without, like.

[Shane Todd]

But you don't have to talk about your job or anything. Cause, like, working with you, there's a lot that I don't know about you either. It's fascinating. Cause you're this very popular figure. A lot of people know who you are. But I think it was like, after a year or so of knowing you that I was like, oh, wait, you have a sibling. I didn't even know that.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't even know that. I just learned that now.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, you don't talk about stuff. And you don't. And it's not even just, like, facts. It's like, feelings or just, like, you know, I don't know. There's a lot that I feel like. And, I mean, it makes sense. I feel like a lot of comedians are that way, and a lot of us have similar vibes. I'm sure I'm similar in some aspects.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Todd]

But. But, yeah, it's fascinating, man. Now you're on a talk. You're on a podcast, so you're gonna have to.

[Sarah Whittle]

I know.

[Shane Todd]

You're gonna have to talk about it all.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's a lot easier for me to look out than look in. I think that's.

[Courtney Miller]

You should look in. Everyone should look in.

[Sarah Whittle]

No. Yeah. Now that we got our health insurance, I'm gonna look into a therapist. I'm actually pretty stoked for that.

[Shane Todd]

Hey, look, I've been studying psychology for a couple years. Well, 10 years, but I'm still. Still trying to get my bachelor's. It's been taking my time, but, like, I've only learned a few really valuable, like, things that I feel I can say. And one is that everyone should get a therapist.

[Courtney Miller]

I went to therapy when I was 13 or 14 because something pretty tragic happened to me when I was younger. And they. I did have, like, this is getting really deep. But I did have suicidal thoughts for, like, a hot minute. And I was really struggling when I was very young, and I went to a therapist, and it helped me tremendously. And that person's never gonna, like, cure anything out of you, but I think it really helps to talk to someone outside of a situation and outside of yourself.

[Sarah Whittle]

Do you feel like it gave you sort of like a tool set?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it did. It did. And it probably, you know, it has made me the person I am today because it helped me rationalize my thinking. Like, you. Sometimes your brain just goes into crazy land. Like, sometimes it just. You're just like, oh, my God, are people out to get me? Like, you know, why is this happening to me? Like, this is. My life is terrible. But it's all about, like, shaping your perspective and being able to, like, ground yourself. Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Your own brain and mind is not always your fault.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly, exactly.

[Shane Todd]

You know, with Ian going back really quick, it's fascinating too, because since you were very young, your whole life has been so public. Your life has been so in the public eye. And so, in a way, for over 10 years, for, gosh, what is 13 years now? For 13 years, people have felt that they know everything about you. But that's. So that might be why, to a certain extent, you keep a lot of things close to your face.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think it would be really tough. I don't envy your position because it's like, you know, it's kind of nice when you meet someone new because they're new and you don't know anything about them, but obviously you're a public figures, so that's like a whole nother layer.

[Shane Todd]

Because I relate to that because I feel like when I was younger, I used to be better about opening up about that stuff, but the more and more I've gotten to this realm, the more that we finish a week of shooting, and I kind of just want to, like, go and sit in my apartment by myself and kind of close off because it's like. It's just I'm exhausted from all. From showing so much that, you know, and that's.

[Sarah Whittle]

I guess that's also why I'm just so bad at social media because, like, like, you know, we Put so much of it out there.

[Shane Todd]

You're burned out.

[Sarah Whittle]

What we're doing. Like, I don't want to take my free time to show everyone what I'm.

[Shane Todd]

Doing, because then it feels like it's taking over your life.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. And I think that that, that also contributes to the fact that I haven't burnt out from this. Like, because I. I do separate as much of my life off of smosh from smosh. And. And for other people, you know, their entire life has to be their story, their Instagram story, or their YouTube story. And. And that's why you see people burn out, because they. They just can't separate.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Always on.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. You're. It's. I think it's dangerous when every aspect of your life becomes entertainment for other people. There are certain things that just need to be for you, and you should share those things. But. But in a very different manner. Not as a means of, you know, entertaining someone else. Yeah, man.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you want to talk about us?

[Sarah Whittle]

The movie?

[Courtney Miller]

Us? No. Yes, the movie.

[Sarah Whittle]

Well, let's not spoil too much. Yeah. But let's just say I liked it. I have a lot of questions, and I'm assuming that the Internet's gonna solve it for me, but I was just like, yeah, it's well made.

[Shane Todd]

I think Jordan Peele has. He's gonna always face an uphill battle with every movie he makes, because going into it, I was expecting a movie with so many layers, and it has a lot of layers. Don't get me wrong. It's still. You're gonna get a Jordan Peele movie for sure.

[Sarah Whittle]

You gotta peel the layers.

[Shane Todd]

You gotta peel those layers like an onion. Shrek, anyways.

[Courtney Miller]

Did the right thing there.

[Sarah Whittle]

It all loops around a Shrek.

[Shane Todd]

It's always about very similar vibes. Very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. I was saying earlier today that it's second album. Second album syndrome, where, you know, you have a lifetime to create your first album, and you have two years to create your second. No matter how good us is going to be, it's always going to be compared to Get Out. It's just like. What's the dude's name? Orson Welles. Right. Yeah, He. He. He created Citizen Kane when he was 28.

[Shane Todd]

I think he was 25.

[Sarah Whittle]

25. Whatever. It was like he created one of. One of the most influential movies ever. And he was forever compared to that movie until the day he died. It was like, oh, I hear you making a new movie. Could this be the next Citizen Kane? Of course it's not going to be the next Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane was Citizen King. Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, God. He straight up lost his.

[Sarah Whittle]

That's one of them. Oh, it's so. It. I'm sad to say. It's. It's hilarious, but. But also sad. The. The champagne commercial.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah. Oh, man. It's hard to watch. Yeah, it's hard to watch. It's hard to watch how, like, so many, like, big celebrity legends. You'd think they have the best lives and they are the most miserable people. But it's kind of goes back to what we're saying. Like, the whole, like, if you make. If every aspect of your life becomes entertainment for everyone else, you lose everything.

[Courtney Miller]

And I think you lose reality. You lose, like, what created the genius in the first place. I. I think it's same with, like, Kanye west.

[Shane Todd]

And honestly, it's gotta be tough. It's gotta be tough that you probably don't. You only have a handful of people who treat you like a normal human being, and then everyone else treats you like Kanye West. Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, they're all yes, man around you, and then you don't have anyone that's like, chill, dude. Chill.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, yeah, It's.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's tough. Like. And I feel like even. Even with. With that knowledge, like, if you. And if you would end up, like, meeting Kanye west or something, you would probably still end up acting just as everyone else. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just.

[Courtney Miller]

I went to church with him on last Easter, actually.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, hell, yeah, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Shoot.

[Shane Todd]

And even Jesus showed up, and he was like, kanye West? Whoa, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

That's nuts.

[Sarah Whittle]

Jesus.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeezus was in the house, and Jesus that day.

[Shane Todd]

Jesus and Yeezus.

[Sarah Whittle]

They should collab.

[Shane Todd]

It's a TBS show. Jesus and Yeezus coming to tbs. We know. Funny.

[Sarah Whittle]

We're still on the air somehow.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't like scary movies.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, really?

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I don't like scary movies, but.

[Shane Todd]

You know, you should watch Hereditary. No, I watched that shit by myself. No, that was a bad mood.

[Sarah Whittle]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a fan of scary movies. And I was sat. Because we all went and saw it together. I was seated right in between Sarah and Courtney, and both of them were so freaked out, and it was. It was. It was very entertaining. Like. Like, I think Courtney, she just assumed the whole thing was going to be scary. She had her, like, arm on my arm for, like, the first 30 minutes, like, just waiting for something scary to happen. And then, like. And then. And then. I don't know. It's not like a scary movie.

[Shane Todd]

It's similar to Get Out. Scary, right. Where you're just. You're like. You said you're uncomfortable. You're just like, oh, God. Oh, God.

[Courtney Miller]

But I was expecting. Cause even in get out, you know, when they're driving and, like, the deer comes out of nowhere, I kept expecting, like a jump scare like that. And I just. Just.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, it's not a scary movie. And I'd say people should go see it.

[Courtney Miller]

They should go see it.

[Shane Todd]

For sure.

[Sarah Whittle]

For sure. There's some pretty goofy stuff. And Winston Duke is hilarious.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. The acting was incredible.

[Shane Todd]

Lupita Nyong'o is. God, she's the best.

[Courtney Miller]

Visuals were incredible. I love what Jordan Peele's doing with sounds.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, he makes a rap music, like a rap song. Scary.

[Shane Todd]

Like awesome.

[Courtney Miller]

So cool.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Hopefully Twilight Zone's good. He's doing that, right?

[Shane Todd]

He's a perfect person to do it.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Is it good? I wonder if the new Twilight Zone is gonna be kind of like Black Mirror. Cause, like, that's kind of what I would imagine a new Twilight Zone is, like. Probably.

[Sarah Whittle]

I mean, it'll be non technology.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Black Mirror. I mean, well, I mean, Black Mirror is Twilight Zone, but with technology.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Shane Todd]

And Black Mirror is. I feel like it's more about like, oh, here's the dark side of technology. Whereas Twilight Zone always felt had, like, some sort of moral to it. It always sort of message about human nature.

[Sarah Whittle]

I want to finish this podcast with something with some funny news.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, my God. What?

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Okay, so the school is doing an active shooter training.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, very funny. This is Ian funny.

[Sarah Whittle]

And. And so they, like, with these. With these shooter trainings, which I've. I never had as a kid growing up. It's. It's like the sheriff department, like, goes in there and they pretend to be the shooters, and they go in and they. They were using airsoft guns in place of real guns and then faked executing the teachers.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah Whittle]

But they were using loaded airsoft guns and shot the teachers, like, in the back of the head and, like. And injured the teachers.

[Courtney Miller]

What? Multiple teachers?

[Sarah Whittle]

Multiple.

[Courtney Miller]

Wait, so after the first teacher got shot, they were like, oh, no, this is.

[Shane Todd]

I don't know, maybe they were. Where was this at?

[Sarah Whittle]

This was Indiana, I believe.

[Shane Todd]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[Sarah Whittle]

Indiana Elementary. Jesus. An elementary school.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah Whittle]

It said teachers were left with welts, bruises, and abrasions after they were shot with plastic pellets by the local sheriff's office conducting the session. And. And I. I read a comment yesterday that was like. That was like they should be doing some research on if these shooting drills. Drills. Are actually doing more damage to kids than good. Because like, I mean, it's like in the, in the what, the 50s or the 60s.

[Shane Todd]

They'll like get under your desk if a new tornado fire.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Causes more hysteria than, than anything. Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

And like you go to school every day wondering, am I going to get killed in a nuclear blast? Like, you know, now? And also I was thinking on the flip side, like, isn't so like, let's say, let's say you're thinking about shooting up a school, which I hope you're not.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Sarah Whittle]

Wouldn't these drills be training you on what to do? Like, isn't that kind of, isn't that kind of like not smart to be showing exactly what everyone should be doing and where they should be going? Like, isn't that's kind of.

[Courtney Miller]

What do they call it? It's a double edged sword. It's.

[Shane Todd]

It's like, I just feel like the drill is probably the same for, for anything, which is like, I mean, it's, it's kind of like an earthquake really. And for many people, like, there's not, there's only so much you can do. Right. Besides like locking doors or whatever.

[Sarah Whittle]

Well, I think that's what they're doing there. Like, you know, pile stuff in front of a door or like for an.

[Shane Todd]

Elementary school, like getting out, like all that. I don't know, man.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's just traumatizing.

[Courtney Miller]

It is traumatizing and it just sucks. Like, it's unfortunate that we live in this time where that is an issue. Cause like, for me, that's incredibly scary. And like even going through the drills. Yeah. Okay. It's good that we're doing drills, but it's so scary. Like.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

And it sounds like in this drill, it's not like, here's how you solve this. It sounds like, it sounds like they're just telling you how you're gonna die.

[Courtney Miller]

And also like, why are they shooting them in the back of the head? Like, why are they shooting the teachers.

[Shane Todd]

In the back of the head actually pull trigger?

[Courtney Miller]

These poor teachers, do they have to act like they're dying too? Then like, it's like an acting class as well.

[Shane Todd]

That's nuts.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Do you remember in eighth grade, like, yeah.

[Shane Todd]

The shooting drill?

[Sarah Whittle]

The guy was like, bang, you're dead. Bang, you're dead. And I was like, Jesus. But that's what people are doing. I guess. It's, it's nuts. And I, I feel like if I was a Kid that would definitely give me more anxiety rather than hearing about the stories and being like, oh, this happened at this school, but it's not happening here.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I'll be honest, that is a big reason why Claudio and I don't know if we want to have children yet.

[Sarah Whittle]

Because of school shootings?

[Courtney Miller]

No, because also shootings are also many different things that are happening in current society and the world and everything with health care and, and global warming and all those things. It's like, is this a place that I want to bring a new life to, or am I okay with my three cats? And for right now, I'm okay with my three cats?

[Shane Todd]

Do I want my kid to grow up in a fallout type of situation?

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a hopeless optimist, but I feel like humans are always going to find a way. I'm not saying that it's okay that climate change is definitely happening, but I mean, I definitely understand, like, the reason for not wanting to bring a kid into the house.

[Courtney Miller]

Also. I don't know if I'm ready for that responsibility. It just seems very intense. We talked to the kids also.

[Shane Todd]

I don't want a kid.

[Courtney Miller]

It seems like a lot. Like, I love my cats so much and they were like, okay, well, now your cats have to go to school every day and they. And then they go to college.

[Shane Todd]

And I'm like, now your kid has a bad attitude? Your cat has a bad attitude?

[Courtney Miller]

No, because my cat one time, like, will like, run away from me. And I like the heartbreak. I feel. I can't imagine, like, my son being like, you, mom. And I'm like, no.

[Sarah Whittle]

But also like. But also like, cats hate you. Like, sometimes your kids hate you. So it is like, good training, right?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I guess so. My cats love me, though. Except for the new one.

[Sarah Whittle]

This is the second anti having kids podcast in a row because with, I guess with. With Courtney, Courtney and I were like, yeah, I don't know, like having kids.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, it's not for everyone. Let's just be honest.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's definitely not for some of the people that have had them.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Sarah Whittle]

I don't know if you feel like popping out one, I guess, you know.

[Courtney Miller]

To each their own.

[Sarah Whittle]

Go for it. As long as you're, you know, I would prefer you'd be like, out of high school, maybe like some sage wisdom, maybe have like some of. Some of your shit together. Maybe like a little. A little savings perhaps.

[Shane Todd]

And that's tough to have.

[Courtney Miller]

It's very.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's very difficult to have so some lessons we learned today. If you're doing an active shooter drill, don't shoot people in a drill.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah, that would make sense.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so crazy to me.

[Shane Todd]

Drill is prepared to. So traumatic. I learned something today I'd love to talk about. This is very fascinating. Do you know that we dropped more bombs in Vietnam than in all of World War II?

[Courtney Miller]

What? That's so fascinating. Let's date now.

[Shane Todd]

I'm gonna use that knowledge on. On a date.

[Courtney Miller]

I did read a fun Internet fact the other day that made me very happy that. Did you know some starfish have birth defects that make them square?

[Sarah Whittle]

No.

[Shane Todd]

It's so cute.

[Sarah Whittle]

It's so cute. Hold on. Let's.

[Courtney Miller]

We're just gonna square starfish.

[Shane Todd]

Yo, Bobby, pull that up.

[Courtney Miller]

Our research guy.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah. Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

They're so cute. Look at this little guy right here, the square starfish. Look.

[Shane Todd]

That's adorable. Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

A square biscuit. Oh, my God.

[Shane Todd]

It looks like a little throw pillow.

[Sarah Whittle]

It does.

[Shane Todd]

A little throw pillow under the water.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm gonna buy it. Oh, my God. I'm gonna lay my.

[Shane Todd]

I'm lay my little head on it. Go to sleep.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm gonna have little sweet dreams.

[Sarah Whittle]

We should have more square starfish. That. I think that's what we can take away from this. This podcast. That's the joy we need more square starfish in the world. I'm guessing this is. Is probably the result of Fukushima.

[Courtney Miller]

So, Ian, always. You do have a habit. You do kind of like shit on the party a little bit sometimes. Cause it was like, I want to go to the Maldives for my honeymoon. He's like, you better go there before it's all underwater. And I'm like, thanks, Ian.

[Sarah Whittle]

I mean, it's real.

[Shane Todd]

It's like the grandpa in him.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah.

[Shane Todd]

Oh, man, this iPhone's great. Well, I hope you like it, because a starving child built it in another country.

[Sarah Whittle]

Well, I'm sure you'll have a much better time than the people that are actually living in the Maldives.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. Thanks for ruining my honeymoon.

[Sarah Whittle]

You're welcome. Make sure you tip your waiter there.

[Shane Todd]

These square starfish are adorable. I bet they're all have depression. All right, great.

[Courtney Miller]

Cool.

[Sarah Whittle]

All right, guys. Well, Shane, Sarah, thank you so much for coming on this on this lovely podcast of ours. And if you guys want to subscribe to the smoshcast, you could do it on any of your favorite podcast platforms, or you can subscribe on YouTube. But guess what? You can't hear us say fuck or shit or turd.

[Shane Todd]

God, you're not gonna get any of those. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Things demonetized.

[Shane Todd]

I don't say those anyways.

[Sarah Whittle]

Yeah, Turd, don't say that.

[Shane Todd]

Yeah.

[Sarah Whittle]

Be sure to subscribe. And we love you so much.

[Courtney Miller]

Square star.