S1: #7 - The Return of Smosh Games

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S1: #7 - The Return of Smosh Games

Hosts: Mari Takahashi, Ian Hecox, Lasercorn
Release Date: April 3, 2019

---

1. Introduction and Return of Smosh Games (00:00 - 02:15)

The episode opens with friendly banter among the hosts, Mari, Ian, and Lasercorn. Ian introduces the primary focus of the episode: the revival of Smosh Games.

• Ian Hecox: Announces the return of Smosh Games, emphasizing the unity of the Smosh family.
  "There's no reason why we look at Smosh and Smosh Games as any different." (00:04)

• Excitement About the Revival: The hosts express their enthusiasm about returning to gaming content, specifically hinting at playing Mortal Kombat.
  "Smosh Games is coming back April 10th." (02:04)

2. Nostalgia and the Evolution of Gaming Channels (02:15 - 06:10)

The conversation shifts to reminiscing about the early days of Smosh Games and the games they previously played together.

• Mortal Kombat Memories: Mari recalls playing Mortal Kombat at the old Sacramento studio, highlighting the humorous attempts at creating "fatalities" with basic editing tools.
  "The person that lost got fatality." (02:31)

• Transition from Clever Games: Discussion about the disappearance of Clever Games, an early Smosh gaming channel, and the acquisition of its URLs by Smosh after Defy's closure.
  "Clever Games is gone. And I... someone erased it." (03:26)

3. Old Internet Properties and Defy Closure (06:10 - 15:02)

The hosts delve into the history of various online properties previously managed by Defy, the former parent company.

• Acquisition of Defy's URLs: Ian explains how Smosh acquired numerous Defy-owned URLs, some of which had controversial or outdated connotations.
  "We got breaksucks.com. We got a lot of really sexist, weird URLs..." (05:09)

• Impact of Defy's Management: Critique of Defy's strategy to segregate Smosh main and Smosh Games, treating them as separate entities for easier marketing, which led to a disconnect within the Smosh family.
  "There shouldn't be so much of a separation. That's what I want to do going forward." (73:53)

4. Current Gaming Landscape: Fortnite vs Apex Legends (11:10 - 15:18)

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the dominance of Fortnite in the gaming industry and its comparison to Apex Legends.

• Fortnite's Ubiquity: The hosts express their frustration with Fortnite's widespread popularity, especially among younger audiences, and its impact on other games.
  "There's nothing more frustrating to me than going to shoot someone and having a clear line of sight and getting, like, one shot off and then a wall instantly appears in front of me." (12:26)

• Apex Legends as an Alternative: Ian shares his preference for Apex Legends, hoping it can capture a similar audience without the drawbacks he associates with Fortnite.
  "Fun sight of Apex Legends overtaking them... we can enjoy Apex Legends." (12:17)

5. Mobile Gaming and Social Media (15:18 - 26:38)

The conversation shifts to mobile gaming trends and the role of social media platforms like Instagram.

• Mobile Gaming Preferences: The hosts discuss their limited engagement with mobile games, contrasting with Mari's extensive travel experiences and how it influences her gaming interests.
  "I have like two games and then I have a Kindle full of books." (15:51)

• Instagram Habits and Gestures: Lasercorn humorously shares his risky habit of checking Instagram while his wife is around, leading to exaggerated discussions about following cosplayers and the recurring joke about "double fist cucumbers."
  "Opening Instagram when my wife is around is always a huge risk because I follow cosplays." (15:15)

6. Personal Stories: Travel, Lobbying, and Identity (26:38 - 59:53)

Mari shares her recent travels, including lobbying for NASA on behalf of Bill Nye's Planetary Society, and reflects on the importance of being well-rounded and experiencing different cultures.

• Lobbying for NASA: Mari recounts her experience advocating for continued NASA funding, emphasizing her role as a private citizen interested in space exploration.
  "I went on behalf of Bill Nye's organization, Planetary Society, to talk to our state senators..." (25:43)

• Travel Experiences: Detailed accounts of Mari's visits to Japan, including family celebrations and observations about the country's culture and history, such as Hiroshima's atomic bomb memorials.
  "They have this really cringy, like, announcement video. Right." (11:04)

• Hair Color and Identity: A light-hearted debate ensues about the significance of hair color in personal identity, with Lasercorn considering transitioning back to brown and Mari affirming her love for her purple hair.
  "Don't forget that your outward appearance is the only thing that truly matters." (34:08)

7. Fun Stories and Anecdotes (59:53 - 77:55)

The hosts exchange humorous and personal stories, including Mari's injury while inside a hamster ball with a GoPro and Lasercorn's involvement in Lasercorn's unique identity.

• Mari's Injury Story: Mari narrates how she almost broke her nose while inside a hamster ball during a party, highlighting the unpredictable nature of their adventures.
  "I went back and I'm like, yeah, I did it, cuz, you know..." (65:07)

• Lasercorn’s Identity Struggles: A playful discussion about Lasercorn's real name vs. his persona, culminating in humorous imaginings of Lasercorn in old age fighting with mech robots.
  "Your identity's solely rests on how you look." (34:08)

8. Conclusion and Future Plans (77:55 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Ian emphasizes the importance of unity within the Smosh family post-Defy and reiterates the excitement for the return of Smosh Games.

• Unity and Collaboration: Ian stresses the need to eliminate the separation between Smosh main and Smosh Games, fostering a more collaborative and inclusive environment.
  "We're just a big old family. There shouldn't be a reason why we look at Smosh and Smosh games as any different." (73:53)

• Return of Smosh Games: Final encouragement for listeners to subscribe to Smosh Games, with teasers about upcoming content including exclusive gameplay of Mortal Kombat 11.
  "Mortal Kombat video will be coming out on the 13th. So subscribe to Smosh Games." (69:26)

• Personal Reflections: The hosts reflect on their personal growth, the value of genuine interactions, and the importance of being true to themselves beyond their on-screen personas.
  "Just be yourself. And that's. And that's interesting enough." (77:36)

• Closing Remarks: Light-hearted jokes about future mech battles and continued camaraderie conclude the episode on a humorous and uplifting note.
  "We won't even die in a retirement home. We'll die in the throes of a mech battle." (40:18)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ian Hecox (00:04): "That's what I want to do going forward. You know, we're just a big old family."

• Mari Takahashi (02:31): "Did I get fatalitized?"

• Lasercorn (05:09): "I think we also got breaksucks.com. We got a lot of really sexist, weird URLs..."

• Ian Hecox (12:26): "There's nothing more frustrating to me than going to shoot someone and having a clear line of sight and getting, like, one shot off and then a wall instantly appears in front of me."

• Lasercorn (15:15): "Opening Instagram when my wife is around is always a huge risk because I follow cosplays."

• Mari Takahashi (25:43): "I went on behalf of Bill Nye's organization, Planetary Society, to talk to our state senators..."

• Lasercorn (34:08): "Your outward appearance is the only thing that truly matters."

• Mari Takahashi (65:07): "I went back and I'm like, yeah, I did it, cuz, you know, I was just trying to be the mom."

• Ian Hecox (73:53): "There's no reason why we look at Smosh and Smosh games as any different."

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Key Takeaways

• Revival of Smosh Games: Smosh Games is making a strong comeback, aiming to unify the Smosh family under a single, collaborative banner.

• Nostalgic Reflections: The hosts fondly reminisce about the early days of Smosh Games and the evolution of online gaming content.

• Critique of Defy's Management: A critical look at how Defy managed Smosh's various channels, leading to unnecessary separations and loss of original charm.

• Gaming Industry Insights: Discussions highlight the challenges posed by dominant games like Fortnite and the potential for alternatives like Apex Legends.

• Personal Growth and Unity: Emphasis on the importance of genuine interactions, personal experiences, and maintaining unity within the Smosh family post-Defy.

---

Conclusion:
"Smosh Mouth" Episode #7 serves as both a nostalgic trip down memory lane and a forward-looking announcement of the return of Smosh Games. Through candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and insightful critiques of past management decisions, the hosts underscore the importance of unity, authenticity, and adaptability in the ever-evolving landscape of online content creation.

Transcript

[Mari Takahashi]

Ramble.

[Ian Hecox]

That's what I want to do going forward. You know, we're just a big old family. There shouldn't be a reason why we look at Smosh and Smosh games as any different.

[Mari Takahashi]

I want to fight you at 80.

[Lasercorn]

What? Yeah. When we're mostly robots.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I'm in. Opening Instagram when my wife is around is always a huge risk because I follow cosplays. And now I open my Instagram, it's just like, butts, butts, butts. I'm like, hey, whoa.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, you guys, don't.

[Lasercorn]

No. No one eats cucumbers. No.

[Ian Hecox]

Double fist cucumbers. And then just like, nope.

[Lasercorn]

Please stop doing it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm nervous.

[Ian Hecox]

Don't be nervous.

[Lasercorn]

This is the first time I've ever done a podcast with, like, headphones like this.

[Ian Hecox]

Really? How does it feel?

[Lasercorn]

It feels weird. It's like, why do I need the headphones if I'm right next to them? But I can.

[Ian Hecox]

Yes.

[Lasercorn]

I feel like it.

[Ian Hecox]

That way, if you're screwing up and talking way out here, you'll know it.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Hey, everyone, and welcome to SmoshCast. Today I am joined by some very wonderful people that I love very much. Mari Takahashi and Lasercorn from the Smosh Games. If you. Maybe you heard of it. Maybe you heard.

[Lasercorn]

What's that?

[Mari Takahashi]

Smosh Games.

[Lasercorn]

Smersh.

[Ian Hecox]

Some dumb channel. So, yeah, I've gotten a couple comments. Just a few being like, it doesn't matter what I post on Twitter. If it's something about a war or cats.

[Mari Takahashi]

War or cats.

[Ian Hecox]

Anything, gum. The response I get is, where is Smosh Games?

[Lasercorn]

Yes.

[Ian Hecox]

It doesn't matter what the hell I say. There's always some person, and it has nothing to do with what I tweeted. And there's like, where's Smosh Games? Give me a Smosh Games.

[Mari Takahashi]

Every time I see that comment, though, I'm very grateful for the demand.

[Lasercorn]

Yes.

[Mari Takahashi]

There's demand in the market.

[Lasercorn]

It's demand.

[Ian Hecox]

There's demand because Smosh Games is wonderful and the people in it are wonderful.

[Lasercorn]

Aw. You're wonderful, too. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So for those wondering, Smosh Games is coming back April 10th. April 10th.

[Mari Takahashi]

We're just finding out now, too.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Just kidding.

[Lasercorn]

This is a wonderful surprise.

[Ian Hecox]

That was a big surprise. You don't have a choice. You have to be a punk.

[Lasercorn]

They will hold us at gunpoint. Awesome. Yeah. We're gonna be playing some Mortal Kombat.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Which I am excited about.

[Ian Hecox]

Yep.

[Lasercorn]

Zub Zero.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, I just.

[Ian Hecox]

Zub Zero.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I Always call him Zub zero.

[Mari Takahashi]

Zub Zero. Yeah. I realize that Mortal Kombat is one of the first games we played altogether. Do you remember the old studio in Sacramento? The tiny, tiny one?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

It was like one of the first ones that we played together.

[Ian Hecox]

And the Wasn't the punishment. The person that lost got fatality.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, like badly edited fatality. It was just like whatever we could do in premiere. I'm like, I think I could take his head off and add a blood effect.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. It didn't look that great, but it was really funny.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think it was me. Was it me?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Did I get fatalitized?

[Ian Hecox]

I think Sohinki might have felt three.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think I got fatalitized.

[Ian Hecox]

I remember there's something about the moon. Am I thinking of a different video?

[Mari Takahashi]

That was the high five.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, that was the announcement video. Yeah, that was the announcement video on clever games. Was it back when.

[Lasercorn]

So which is gone now. You can't find. Dude, I went to look up the other day. Sorry to change topics. The. The. Oh, shit. I thought I turned that off.

[Mari Takahashi]

Come on.

[Ian Hecox]

My phone off.

[Mari Takahashi]

I thought I turned the only professional here.

[Ian Hecox]

I think so.

[Mari Takahashi]

I just don't know where my phone is.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, all the old videos are gone. Like, Clever games you can't find. Smosh takes over Clever Games anymore. It's gone. And I. Yeah, someone erased it.

[Mari Takahashi]

So you got Machinimud?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, we got machinimud. Oh, no, they came for us.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, would have been funny if somebody after the defy closure, somebody bought clever games.

[Lasercorn]

Just clever games.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, maybe that's what happened.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that could be. And they're rebranding because there was.

[Ian Hecox]

There was a company that came in and, like, bought all the trash that. That didn't sell. Yeah, like, they're just like, yeah, whatever. I'll take that.

[Lasercorn]

What other properties do they have that were like. Not that they weren't focused on?

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, they had Break, which used to be a really popular.

[Lasercorn]

Right.

[Ian Hecox]

Website.

[Mari Takahashi]

Then they still have Girl dot com.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, they had Girl, which is, like.

[Mari Takahashi]

A really good website. And, like, just like the URL is so good.

[Ian Hecox]

They also had. They also had teen.com. and that's a great URL.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. So it's gonna wind up a porn site, isn't it?

[Ian Hecox]

Well, so this is the thing. Okay, so this is the thing. When. When I was working on the process of pulling smosh out myself, I was able to see all the things that defy owned. And then I had the ability to bid or add things to the bid for Smosh. So with that, there was a ton of URLs that they owned, some of which were defysucks.com, really? Which we got.

[Lasercorn]

Nice. Oh, man. A lot of potential for that one.

[Ian Hecox]

I think we also got breaksucks.com. we got a lot of really sexist, weird URLs that I'm guessing came from the break era. Like, we got this website. I think we got the website chickapedia.com. and there's also Asian chicks, Chickapedia, that I think we also got.

[Mari Takahashi]

Hey, I want that one. I want to run it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, okay.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, give that to Martin. I don't think we've got a birthday coming.

[Ian Hecox]

I think we own the URLs, but we don't. We haven't done anything with it. But we thought it could be fun to do something with all these bad URLs. Like, it's so gross, man. Like, I think they come from. I think they come from the Break side because Break basically built a business off of. I mean, it was. Most of it was sexist content where.

[Mari Takahashi]

It'S like just like 2000s humor. Like, it really just was.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And it's crazy how far we've come in such a short amount of time. Just how, like, I mean, woke people got, you know, and it's just like, it happened freaking quick.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I mean, Break Break was a gigantic website. It was massively successful. A lot of it was a lot of, like, prank content, bro. Content. Like fails. Yeah, fails. That kind of stuff.

[Lasercorn]

I used to watch fail compilations, but.

[Ian Hecox]

I think at the end there was one person running the website.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, really?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I'm not. I can't, like, speak fully to that, but yeah, it's crazy to see something that was so big, you know, become like, nothing irrelevant.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Basically, like, I went to their, like, Twitter, and they get like, six likes on their posts. So it's. It's very strange. And I think. I think that also goes into. Websites aren't really, like, a thing anymore. Like, yeah, there's Reddit, but if you think about it, like, what do you go to?

[Lasercorn]

Facebook, Twitter. Yeah, yeah. That's all broken down into social media. Yeah. Here's my big question. Did you get the rights to blacksmosh.com? because I think there's a lot of potential.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, that's a good question. I should look into that.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Also, other spin. Look, if we're doing spinoffs like that, smoshdad.com. there's only one of us. It would Just be me and my kid.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay?

[Mari Takahashi]

Daddies of Smosh.

[Lasercorn]

Dad Smosh. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Excuse me. I am Daddy Smosh.

[Lasercorn]

What? Oh, yeah. Well, the people that call you Daddy are the kind of people you want to put up with.

[Ian Hecox]

It's probably true. That's probably true.

[Mari Takahashi]

They ain't toddlers.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, but it is. It is kind of strange, like, how. How, you know, you have this giant Internet and now it's become so whittled down to just a few properties that are massively successful. Like, Even, like, even smosh.com, like, it was like we had insane, like, visit numbers. Like, back in the day when, like, articles were a thing, and that just became more and more irrelevant. So when. When it came time to, you know, restart Smosh after defy, it didn't really make sense to me to devote, like, time and effort and money into a website which was like, here's some funny pictures.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I think it has to be something flooded with content consistently. Like, we've gotten so used to the Reddit sort of things or, like, even a Twitter feed sort of thing where we're bombarded with stuff. And if it's not that, it's too slow for the average consumer nowadays.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I'm trying to even think of another website I go to regularly.

[Mari Takahashi]

Amazon.

[Lasercorn]

Outside of the big one. Amazon. That's right.

[Mari Takahashi]

And talk about a monopoly. I mean, that is just taking over.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. There's only a few websites that I go to, aside from, you know, the obvious. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Like, I go to Kotaku every once in a while. I'm like, oh, what's happening in video games? And I go to, like, Jalopnik whenever I want to be like, oh, what's going on in cars?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And that's about it.

[Lasercorn]

I'll still go to Rock, Paper, Shotgun occasionally. But, yeah, it's like, if I just want to read a review and I don't want to watch it and I want to skim through my. To the parts I care about, I'll actually go to a review site. But yeah, aside from that, I'm just like, I could probably find something I need on YouTube or something.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, Even, like, gaming journalism, like, that's. I feel like that's kind of dying. Like, it's becoming more and more irrelevant because people will just go to. They'll just go to Metacritic and just kind of look at it, or they'll go to their favorite YouTuber and see what. See what they have to say about it. Like, I feel like more people rely on you Know, video game donkey. Thank Gamespot.

[Lasercorn]

He's so funny.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I wonder how much it's like cherry picking for our generation too. But, you know, I also feel like if you're subscribed to like the Wall Street Journal or, you know, like entrepreneur or something, you're getting those every day and you're kind of more in the circuit of like reading stuff every day. I feel like for most people we just cherry pick whenever there's something interesting to us in that moment because. Yeah, like the last time I read anything on Kotaku was probably a couple of weeks ago. And it was just only because of the. What was it called? The Ubisoft all girls group.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, I don't. I don't know this.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, I can't remember.

[Ian Hecox]

Gamer chicks or something?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, something like that. But yeah, it was the demise of that.

[Lasercorn]

What is this? They only play Ubisoft games, but they're.

[Mari Takahashi]

No, it was a Ubisoft sanctioned all women's group and they weren't necessarily like.

[Lasercorn]

Group to do what?

[Mari Takahashi]

Go to events mostly all gaming stuff. Melanie Mac was actually a part of it super early on.

[Ian Hecox]

I remember they had a really cringy, like, announcement video. Right.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't remember. I just know that it was Ubisoft sanctioned. And then a few years went by and they just no longer had the support. And, you know, it was really early on. I just wonder if there's going to be something like that again. I think it happens in small doses, but yeah, that was just something that was.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, it's called. Sorry, it's called Frag Dolls.

[Mari Takahashi]

Frag Dolls.

[Ian Hecox]

Thank you, Kevin. Kevin, our producer coming in with the. With the knowledge.

[Mari Takahashi]

Kevipedia.com. get that one? Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

That's a website I'd visit.

[Ian Hecox]

We're gonna call that now. We're gonna call it kevinpedia. Let's consult kevinpedia real quick. Thank you so much. I should have been doing the research myself. I'm. My bad.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, you got the laptop.

[Ian Hecox]

Frag Dolls.

[Lasercorn]

I didn't think I've heard that name. But I never associated it with Ubisoft.

[Mari Takahashi]

I didn't know I hadn't either until.

[Lasercorn]

I. I thought it was just like a group of girl gamers. And I think I thought they were cosplayers too. Are they not?

[Ian Hecox]

I don't think so.

[Mari Takahashi]

Just.

[Lasercorn]

Just gamers.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't think they were cosplayers. Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Okay, then I got it wrong. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, Melanie Mac cosplays as Lara Croft.

[Mari Takahashi]

Sometimes she just is her.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, basically. Yeah. But okay. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. Gaming. Gaming has also become, like, very singular in the fact that, you know, the rise of Fortnite has sort of made it a thing where there can only be one. Like, there can only be one game. And, like, I feel. I hope Apex does. Does better. Like, it's. Because it came out strong.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, it's starting to overtake them. Yeah, that's. It's funny. I see all these memes, too. It's like, no, everyone stop wishing for the demise of Fortnite because all the 13 year olds are playing Fortnite and we can enjoy Apex Legends.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's funny.

[Ian Hecox]

That's true.

[Lasercorn]

That's what it's. It's like kind of marketing itself as Is like the adult fortnight. So it's like, leave the kids over there playing fortnight and we'll play Apex. And to be clear, I don't think Fortnite's a bad game. It's just not for me. Like, there's nothing more frustrating to me than going to shoot someone and having a clear line of sight and getting, like, one shot off and then a wall instantly appears in front of me.

[Mari Takahashi]

Mine seems the absolute opposite.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, really?

[Mari Takahashi]

I've built a wall to protect myself. And the worst thing for me is somebody trying to break that down.

[Lasercorn]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

I just don't like that person breaking the wall that I just made down.

[Lasercorn]

It's a shoot. You're supposed to be shooting.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, no, I don't. I made myself like a safety net. I want to stay there. Don't shoot at it.

[Lasercorn]

Also, no one can build a wall that fast. I know. It's a video game.

[Ian Hecox]

That's what you think. What?

[Lasercorn]

Even if I just wish it wasn't a wall, I just wish it was like, a light shield or something more believable than, like, I instantly brick and mortar this thing.

[Ian Hecox]

So you want more realism in my Fortnite?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. It's a stupid complaint. I know it is.

[Ian Hecox]

I just. I just don't. I'm just not like, a huge fan of it. Like, and when it comes to competitive online shooters, I've just pretty much, like, given up on them.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, yeah. I'm not good enough to play them.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that's the issue. Because, you know, we are adults and we have, you know, things that we have to do with our lives. We don't have five hours every day. Like, when I was 15, for sure, I would. I would have that time to get good at it. But now, you know, I got, I got real life stuff that I gotta worry about.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So I don't have the five hours to every day to train on Fortnite to, you know, Merc Fools. But yeah.

[Lasercorn]

So gank noobs or whatever the kids are saying. But what is that? That's what those kids are saying. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's. It's been interesting to gauge how Fortnight is doing by asking my 7 and 9 year old nephews.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow.

[Mari Takahashi]

Because they were on it like as soon as Fortnite really got big with Ninja and all that stuff and they were right on top of it. And they're super obsessed. And the, in the, in the way that like little kids are able to absorb information is so crazy because they know like every single gun, every single weapon in the. In it and it's still like really hot for the. For kids. Yeah, it's still the number one.

[Lasercorn]

I wonder if back in the day when I was like super into Halo, if me talking about Halo constantly was like, there. If there was an older generation that was like, oh my God, this hail. I just can't wait for this Halo fad to die out. I wonder if there was that. And I just never noticed them to a degree.

[Ian Hecox]

But I think Fortnite's eclipsed that.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Just the access to the game is unprecedented. Like, you can get it on mobile. Yeah, that's Xbox, PlayStation, you get Switch and Switch. Yeah. So literally anything that has a screen and buttons you can play Fortnite on and it's free.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So there's not a. There's not a $60, like, you know, gate that's holding you back from playing it.

[Mari Takahashi]

It hit so many generations. Because I know my brother started playing it as like research for his kids to see if it was appropriate or not. And he's completely obsessed and he only plays on mobile because he's always on the road.

[Ian Hecox]

Mobile just seems like the worst.

[Lasercorn]

I would never even try it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think that's the only way I would win.

[Lasercorn]

What is it? Mobile?

[Mari Takahashi]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Lasercorn]

It just seems like it would be so much harder. I don't play many mobile games at all. Really.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't.

[Lasercorn]

I used to play Hearthstone and I. Oh, I just got Final Fantasy Tactics on mobile because I missed that one. And I like. I'm like, oh, this is a cool game that I can go back and play on mobile, but other than that, I don't have. I have like two games and then I have a Kindle full of books.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, I'm like an 85 year old lady. I have solitaire and a match three game.

[Lasercorn]

Those are the most hardcore games.

[Ian Hecox]

My mobile game is scrolling through Instagram and hoping that I don't accidentally double like a hot girl on Instagram.

[Lasercorn]

That's a fun game.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, that's a tough game.

[Lasercorn]

That's a dangerous one.

[Ian Hecox]

It's so risky because you're like scrolling through your feed or whatever. You're like, okay, don't accidentally twitch your thumb on this, on this photo.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's the scariest when you're looking at really old photos of somebody. Like if you've just gone way down two years later.

[Ian Hecox]

Never done that.

[Mari Takahashi]

I've never done it on accident, but it's like, it's really scary. Super high risk.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Opening Instagram when my wife is around is always a huge risk because I follow cosplayers because I'll meet them at conventions or whatever and I'm like, oh yeah, I'll follow you on Instagram. And now I open my Instagram, it's just like butts, butts, butts. I'm like, whoa. Okay, scrolling. Oh, here's Ian.

[Mari Takahashi]

We should gamify it. We should like have to like mess with each other while one person scrolls through on your own account. And it'll be like really embarrassing. It'll be like scrolling through like an ex's like Instagram or something. And people mess around with you until you mess up. Oh no, I've said it and I don't want to do it.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, terrible idea. Edit this out.

[Mari Takahashi]

Terrible, but great if it's somebody else doing it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Courtney opened up her phone next to me when we were waiting at youtubers React and it was like straight up girl in lingerie. First thing I was like, really? Courtney? And she's like, I follow this person, but she doesn't normally make to post these photos. She's never done this before. I was like, uh huh, sure.

[Mari Takahashi]

I have like no shame. I'm like, you do you. Great job. Well done. Good for you.

[Ian Hecox]

Do you guys have. Do you guys have a dummy Instagram account that you use to follow people that you don't want people to know that you follow? Follow.

[Mari Takahashi]

I used to have one but I lost the password so now I don't have it.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh no.

[Mari Takahashi]

I know it's kind of sad rip, but. But I feel like I had like two like two, two sexy girls on that one. And then a lot of like baking, like DIY stuff.

[Lasercorn]

I never know that I'm into baking. Yeah, that was Your dummy.

[Mari Takahashi]

Well, because I didn't want to send like the wrong signal because I don't cook. I just like watching other people.

[Ian Hecox]

So it's just. So that feed was just buns and bundt cakes?

[Mari Takahashi]

Ooh, yes, yes. Cookies and tits. I can't think of it.

[Lasercorn]

There was no alliteration there.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, I don't want to see this too.

[Ian Hecox]

Biscuits and boobies.

[Lasercorn]

Biscuits and boobs. That's a good one. Taffy and tits.

[Mari Takahashi]

Buns and buns. Buns and buns and buns.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I did it.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't know how the hell we got onto that subject.

[Mari Takahashi]

None of these subjects that we talked about were on your piece of paper.

[Ian Hecox]

I know. Thank you. My piece of paper that I posted in the front of my laptop. What have you guys been up to over these several months?

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Well, I've been getting fat. So that's been going well. Yeah, baby. Nice. Yeah. Team fat. Greg Miller. Shout to. Kinda funny. And Greg Miller.

[Mari Takahashi]

You have a great excuse though. You're a daddy.

[Lasercorn]

I am a dad. Which is the ultimate excuse to get fat. Yeah, I gotta get that dad bod going. Except for Joe Beretta ruins. Shatters the whole illusion. Cause he's like, oh yeah, well I got some kids. And he takes his shirt off and.

[Mari Takahashi]

He'S like, that man's built like a 22 year old.

[Lasercorn]

I know. I'm so jealous raising a kid doing that. I've been. I flew to New York. I checked out the Rockstar headquarters recently.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh cool.

[Lasercorn]

And yeah, streamed with those guys.

[Ian Hecox]

Played a little Grand Theft Auto 6.

[Lasercorn]

Played a little Grand Theft what, 7, 8? The NDAs. No, they didn't show me anything cool.

[Ian Hecox]

Sure, I'm winking at lasercorn for those that are listening right now, not watching on YouTube.

[Mari Takahashi]

Did you actually get to play any of six?

[Lasercorn]

What? No. There is no six.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'd be so mad.

[Lasercorn]

There is no six. There is no six.

[Mari Takahashi]

They've got to be building it.

[Lasercorn]

They probably are building it. It's in space. No.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh man. If it was All Saints Row ish and like mixed all that, I wouldn't be mad at all.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, they got to go back to being a little more goofy. But they probably won't ever. I think they kind of said that that was the previous generation. Now they're, they're leaning more towards realism.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, I'm excited to see what they do next, but I did not get any sneak peeks. And I did a foam run the other night. Foam glow run with.

[Mari Takahashi]

Is that a rave?

[Lasercorn]

No, it's like you run and you run through foamy things.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Lasercorn]

They shoot foam on you and the foam glows.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Lasercorn]

It's hard to explain.

[Mari Takahashi]

Were you at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, I was there. No, it's. These are, like, things you could sign up for. Like, people put together runs and you pay an entry.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't believe you.

[Lasercorn]

And then they put glow, and they had a bunch of black lights. So the glowy stuff reacts with the black lights. It's a real thing.

[Ian Hecox]

Was it like a 5k?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, it was a 5k.

[Mari Takahashi]

5,000 miles.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, 5,000 miles. That's exactly what that means. 5,000 miles. That's what the K stands for. So I did that with Odom of the Warp Zone. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And Justine and my wife, and it was fun.

[Ian Hecox]

Nice.

[Mari Takahashi]

Odom of the Warp Zone. You made it sound like he's like a Game of Thrones character.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

First of its kind.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. They. I'm actually going to. After this, after we do our Mortal Kombat thing. I'm actually going to Warp Zone, who are shooting literally four minutes from here. And I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a video with them too, so. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Hell yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Nice.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

They are coming back as well.

[Ian Hecox]

They were rescued from the Pits of Defile.

[Lasercorn]

They were also rescued. Yes.

[Ian Hecox]

We. Yeah, we pulled them out. I'm glad they're coming back.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, man. Oh, I love those guys. They're awesome.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

And they're really funny. Yeah. Can't wait to see what they do.

[Mari Takahashi]

We were just talking about this last night, but every year when Game of Thrones comes back, they always do a last season wrap up. And, like, Game of Thrones next season is coming up and they haven't done the wrap up. I don't know what happened that last season. Oh, I knew that.

[Lasercorn]

There's still time before the first episode.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm paying for April 12th.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, yeah, yeah, there's still time. Don't give up hope. I'll tell them. I'll be like, mari says you have to do it.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Even if they don't see him today. Even if they don't, like, post it up on video just for you.

[Lasercorn]

No, no, they're not gonna post it. They're gonna come to your house. Mari, live show the Warp Zone live, right in your living room. Now.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm just sticking it.

[Ian Hecox]

So back to the foam run. What is the foam made out of?

[Lasercorn]

Look, we don't ask those questions. I don't know. It's like bubbles, foam like, and it's just.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, the road is just full of bubbles.

[Lasercorn]

Well, they. No, they have specific sprayers. You go under that spray, foamy bubbles on you, and then the bubbles are infused with the stuff that reacts with black light. So that way.

[Mari Takahashi]

So it sounds like a huge car.

[Lasercorn]

You go into the black light.

[Mari Takahashi]

You went through a car wash, and you're calling it a 5K?

[Lasercorn]

What? Well, it was 5K. It wasn't 5K of all foam. Some of it was just running through a parking lot.

[Ian Hecox]

This just kind of sounds like a. Like a drug trip version of Hollywood.

[Lasercorn]

What? I can't believe you guys have never heard of this.

[Mari Takahashi]

Did somebody, like, clean your body with the foam?

[Lasercorn]

No.

[Ian Hecox]

Did you get into the car and just cover your car?

[Lasercorn]

There was no cleaning. You just run through it? What? No. Oh, was my car covered? No. By the time we got to the very end, we were mostly dry. Cause you're running, so you kind of dry off. So we were mostly dry. And then.

[Mari Takahashi]

Does other people's foam get on you?

[Lasercorn]

Other people had.

[Ian Hecox]

Did you guys swap foam?

[Lasercorn]

All right. No, there was no foam swapping.

[Ian Hecox]

I like.

[Lasercorn]

You guys just.

[Ian Hecox]

I like that. We can't. We can't just. We can't just simply run anymore. We have to, like, make a game out of it. Like, there's, like, one where you get chased by zombies.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Zombie.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah, that one.

[Lasercorn]

Zombie runs. Foam runs. There's rock, rock and roll runs where there's, like, bands every.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Every mile or something.

[Mari Takahashi]

I just don't see you doing this. I just don't. I don't see you doing. Is it colorful foam? Is it, like, rainbow foam?

[Lasercorn]

No. So it. When it comes out.

[Ian Hecox]

Explain this, Mario. When. Can't you listen?

[Lasercorn]

When it comes out of the fray, it's just, like, white bubbles. It looks like bubble bath. Okay. When it hits you, but then it has black light stuff in it. So that when you run under the black lights, you, like, turn colors.

[Ian Hecox]

Isn't it? Doesn't it just turn colors if it's white? Because doesn't white react to black light? Or is it, like, a different kind of color?

[Lasercorn]

No, it'll take. But this stuff, like, turned red.

[Mari Takahashi]

This is killing him. Look at his eyes. They're so dead.

[Lasercorn]

What? Mira, Mari, Having to explain. Yeah, Mari, what have you been up to?

[Ian Hecox]

What have you been up to? Have you done any fun runs?

[Mari Takahashi]

No.

[Ian Hecox]

Did you do a run where they shot at you?

[Mari Takahashi]

The only running that I've been doing is inside airports from trying not to miss my flights.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, you've been literally, like, in this past year. How many countries do you think you've been to?

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, gosh, I wish I prepared and counted. I don't know. I think I've been back to Japan, like, four or five times in a year. I'm so jealous. Yeah. Last this past month. What month are we in? March. Are we in March right now? Yeah, March. I think I'm home for seven days out of the entire month.

[Ian Hecox]

My God, woman.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know why we pay rent for an apartment.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. That's nuts.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So lots of traveling. You should airbnb your place should, but it's illegal, too. You can't do that with apartments.

[Lasercorn]

Right?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So I've been up to lots of traveling. Lots of working for travel or traveling for work. Something I got to do a couple weeks ago, which was really fun, was lobby Congress.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah. For NASA.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So I went on behalf of Bill Nye's organization, Planetary Society, to talk to our state senators in California about just being a private citizen and being interested in space and space advocacy and putting humans back into flight and really just being like, hello, I'm just a person in the state and I'm interested. I think that Congress should continue funding NASA.

[Lasercorn]

So Bill Nye approached you to do this?

[Mari Takahashi]

No. Bill has a team that allows for people to sign up to learn how to do this.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

So they put you through training and stuff to make sure that you're not gonna go in there and.

[Lasercorn]

Well, when you lobby them, do you go in there and, like, we want you to sign this bill? Is that how you do it? Cause that seems like it would be an effective strategy. I know nothing about lobbying.

[Mari Takahashi]

Gosh.

[Lasercorn]

But if I had to guess, I'd guess that's how it goes.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think there was a really huge lost opportunity there. I think you should come in with that pitch next year. Cause you're gonna kill it.

[Lasercorn]

You hear that, Nye? Get me. I'll push your initiatives through Congress.

[Mari Takahashi]

It was just a catchy song. It was just a really cool experience. Something that I never thought that I was important enough to do. And I think it's a reminder that, like, as U.S. citizens, we're very privileged to be able to do it. So if you care about something, you can do it. Go do it. So that's all. Yeah, it's good stuff.

[Ian Hecox]

And you can. I mean, you're super into space stuff.

[Mari Takahashi]

But I'm not an expert. Right. I'm not an engineer. I don't have a BS Like a Bachelor of Science. Like, I'm a fan, but by no means am I some sort of expert.

[Lasercorn]

I have a few questions, though. Is it true that there's more than 15 miles of space out there?

[Mari Takahashi]

More than 15 miles of space?

[Lasercorn]

This is what I hear.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, I believe it's true that there's more than 15 miles of space.

[Lasercorn]

See, she knows things.

[Ian Hecox]

Is this a flat Earth thing?

[Lasercorn]

This is a resource we have access to.

[Mari Takahashi]

Is that a flat Earth thing?

[Lasercorn]

What? I don't know what shape the earth is. I assumed it was some sort of cube. Is it not?

[Mari Takahashi]

I like that it's a cube for you and not a flat surface.

[Lasercorn]

I just play a lot of Minecraft, I assume.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, Minecraft.

[Lasercorn]

I assume they modeled that on real life, right?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's definitely edges to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Don't get too close to the edge.

[Ian Hecox]

And if you punch a pig, you get just a nice little pork chop.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

If you do it with a something that's on fire, it'll already come cooked.

[Ian Hecox]

Hey, look at that.

[Lasercorn]

Really?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

You never gone out to a farm with just a flaming axe and just hacked?

[Lasercorn]

Oh, I thought you meant in the game.

[Ian Hecox]

Jesus.

[Lasercorn]

No, in real life. Okay, wait, are there flaming weapons in Minecraft?

[Mari Takahashi]

Now? You can light a stick, I think, on. Wait, what?

[Lasercorn]

You can have a torch so you beat it with a torch. I've never done that.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, interesting.

[Mari Takahashi]

You can. You can have it so that it cooks.

[Lasercorn]

Wait, can you hit things with a torch? I thought you could only place them. No, you. I'm so confused.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, we haven't. I'm sorry. We need to get back into it.

[Ian Hecox]

We can get fact checked by the comments on. On our Minecraft badge.

[Mari Takahashi]

You think after this many.

[Lasercorn]

We've been playing it for years. There's no excuse for us not to know this. Yeah, we don't pay attention at all when we're playing.

[Mari Takahashi]

No, because I'm just trying to make sure that my stuff doesn't get blown up.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. And I'm just trying to blow up your stuff.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes, Mainly I'm in a constant point of panic.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I remember the recipe for tnt and that's about it.

[Ian Hecox]

That's all that matters to you because.

[Lasercorn]

You'Re just like sand and gunpowder.

[Ian Hecox]

You're just ruining everybody's things.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that's the best part of the game.

[Ian Hecox]

That's very Laser corner.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that's why they made the game.

[Ian Hecox]

And speaking. Speaking of your name. Speaking of your name. Lasercorn. I think it's. I think it's very Strange that I've called you by your. By your real name maybe twice in my life.

[Lasercorn]

Why would you do that?

[Ian Hecox]

And referring, like, it's very strange talking about you to people that don't know smosh games. Because I'm like, well, Dave, but yeah.

[Lasercorn]

You have to think about it, right?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I do. I honestly do, because. Yeah. But I always have to explain it to people. I'm like, okay, so he goes by Lasercorn. I don't have time to get into it. But that's just what I call him. That's what everyone calls him, I guess. But it's very strange calling you by your real name.

[Lasercorn]

No. And even me, when I introduce myself to people, I have to take a second and think about what context I'm in. I'm like, is this a social context where these people don't know me as Lasercorn? Or is this, like a gaming thing where I should introduce myself as Lasercorn? And a lot of times when people are like, oh, what's your name? I'm like, and that pulls people out because they're like, you have to think about your name. Who pauses to think about what name they're going to give? There's two people. There's YouTubers who have an alternate Persona, and then there's serial killers who have made a new identity for themselves. And they have to think about it a second. Uh, Larry.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Not that guy that killed a bunch of people in that other county. Not Greg. Larry.

[Mari Takahashi]

I like to imagine that you just have an existential crisis every time it happens, and you just have fear in your eyes.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Come on.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. What's your name? Good question. But what is my real name? I should just legally change my name to Lasercorn and be done with it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Then I would just only introduce myself as Lasercorn.

[Ian Hecox]

First name Laser, last name Corn.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And then, like, force your wife and your baby.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

To be.

[Lasercorn]

And my parents.

[Mari Takahashi]

Tyler Corn.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Tyler Corn.

[Lasercorn]

Tyler Corn. That kids. People do call them him that in the comments.

[Ian Hecox]

I still call him Baby Corn, even though he's not at all a baby anymore.

[Mari Takahashi]

Also, baby corn is so delicious.

[Lasercorn]

I love baby corn.

[Mari Takahashi]

It is very delicious.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's so cute, too. How does it look? Like a little corn on the cob.

[Ian Hecox]

Baby corn.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.

[Mari Takahashi]

Don't you eat Chinese food? It's always in Chinese food.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, maybe I have little baby corns.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Little baby corns.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, now I know what You?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

How does it get so small?

[Mari Takahashi]

It's magical.

[Lasercorn]

They just pick it before it grows up into adult corn.

[Ian Hecox]

They pull it out of preschool and then cook it alive.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't think I just got dark.

[Mari Takahashi]

Going back to it. I don't think I've ever called you Dave.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And when I refer to you, even to total strangers, I always say lasercorn.

[Lasercorn]

Thank you.

[Mari Takahashi]

Without skipping a beat. It's until they're like, wait, your friend's name is Lasercorn? And I'm like, yeah, he's got a tattoo. And then it's kind of like, you figure it out.

[Lasercorn]

Let's gloss over it. Let's just move on. Yeah. But, yeah, don't call me Dave. Don't do it.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, he is lasercorn, and he identifies as a broom.

[Lasercorn]

Yes, I do identify.

[Ian Hecox]

Should I ask about that, or should we just move on?

[Lasercorn]

No. Yeah, just move on.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, great. How long do you think you're gonna keep the orange hair?

[Lasercorn]

I don't know. Oh, my. You know, this probably our hairstylist we go to, the same person is moving.

[Mari Takahashi]

Is she really?

[Lasercorn]

Oh, no. I just dropped this on you. Yeah, she's going to Tennessee.

[Mari Takahashi]

Nashville.

[Lasercorn]

Nashville.

[Mari Takahashi]

Nashville got her.

[Ian Hecox]

So I'm like, you guys can't ever get your hair colored ever again because nobody else does that in la.

[Mari Takahashi]

This is the last time you're gonna see us like this.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, but no, other people do it. But I'm like, is this a sign? Should I transition back to my natural hair color? I don't know. I have considered transitioning back to brown. I might just find someone else and do crazy colors again. But this might be the moment where I'm like, okay, hairstylist is leaving. Maybe it's time to go back to brown. Maybe it's time for this Marshall Mathers to finally give up Slim Shady. I don't know. No, I haven't decided yet. But if. If I was going to transition back to brown, probably sometime this summer, it would happen. But there's probably an equal chance that I was just gonna stay crazy colors.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

How about you? Are you keeping it?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I'm staying purple.

[Lasercorn]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

A. It's really easy. Cause I don't have to go in for, like, two and a half months, and then I just get to be lazy. And it's still a cool color.

[Lasercorn]

It is. It looks very cool.

[Mari Takahashi]

And I don't know who I am without that color.

[Lasercorn]

It's my whole identity.

[Ian Hecox]

Don't forget that your identity's solely rests on how you look.

[Lasercorn]

That's true.

[Ian Hecox]

Let that be a message to everyone that's listening. Your outward appearance is the only thing that truly matters.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know what's so cute though? You'll love this because you love my dad.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

When my hair was brown after the wedding last year, my dad's like, when are you gonna go purple again? And like, mind you, my parents are like, really conservative. So whenever I started to dye my hair, they were like, freaked out. Last year, right after this, my dad goes, when are you gonna die purple again? I'm like, dad, you think I should go purple? And he goes, yeah, it's your branding. And I'm like, what?

[Ian Hecox]

Wow, dad.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow, dad.

[Lasercorn]

I have a similar story. I went home from my brother's wedding and I didn't tell him I was doing this, but I went back to brown for his wedding. Cause I'm like, it's his wedding day. I don't want to be drawing attention to myself when you know, he should be the focus. So I dyed it brown and I went back and I'm like, yeah, I did it, cuz, you know, I was his best man. I'm like, I don't want to take the attention off you. And he looked at me, he goes, nah, don't like it. He's like, should have stayed laser cut. I'm like, no, I should have ran it by him. I actually looked and watched your pounding.

[Ian Hecox]

I know you're very angry.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I actually tried to find someone to dye it before the wedding, dye it back, because that's what he wanted. But I couldn't get someone to do it. No one had the color on such short notice, so I couldn't do it. So I went. But always check with your loved ones if you're changing your hair color. Especially for an event that they, they are, they're in control of because they don't always want you changing your color.

[Mari Takahashi]

I like imagining you being in Cleveland, Ohio, being like, no, I want my hair to be like a flame orange.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I'm showing them old pictures like this.

[Mari Takahashi]

Going to a supercut.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Yeah. They're just staring at me like, what, what happened here?

[Mari Takahashi]

I want to look like I'm torching.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I love, I love the color. Thank you. And if you kept it forever, I would not mind. I would actually be really Interested to see 80 year old lasercorn with still.

[Lasercorn]

Well, you know what I would do is I would dye gray into it, which I'm actually, if I do keep it, I want to go like kind of Old man corn. Just some gray at the temples. Gradually get grayer. Dye more and more gray in there, even if my natural hair isn't gray. Just like, to make me look more distinguished.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yo. I had an interesting thought the other day.

[Ian Hecox]

What's that?

[Mari Takahashi]

So Pete and I visited his grandma's old folks home.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

And you know, it's. It's like your typical old folks home that you can, like, imagine.

[Ian Hecox]

Sad as shit.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, they do old people like stuff like that.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, it's one of the saddest, like, you know, it's one of the saddest things about those places is when you see just an old person eating alone at the table.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And you're like, oh, oh, God. Oh, that's gonna be me one day.

[Mari Takahashi]

So. But the thing is, okay, Pete and I were talking. Our generation's old folks home is probably gonna rock. Like, don't you think that, like, there's some entrepreneur out there who's getting ready for us to be, like, 80 years old, who's gonna be like, okay, we're gonna have yoga, there's gonna be meditation. There's gonna be like, Instagram corners. Cause, you know, we're gonna be 80 and we're still gonna be on social media. So I feel like our generation's old folks homes is gonna be, like, sick.

[Ian Hecox]

But you do realize that our generation isn't going to have the money for that.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that's. That's not my retirement plan.

[Ian Hecox]

We need money.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's what Patreon is for.

[Ian Hecox]

A Patreon for my retirement home.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Pay for my retirement home.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, God. You're like Jessica Nigri. It's like, still doing cosplay as, like.

[Lasercorn]

A 80 year old. Like, she'll still be hot. Probably.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I feel like by then we're gonna have robot parts anyway.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. She'll be mostly robot and it'll be awesome.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I really. I just want some strong legs so I can do some hero jumps off of, like, the third floor of, like, a building. That's all I want. I just want big, strong robot legs.

[Ian Hecox]

All right.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. My retirement plan. I don't want to do an old folks home because you're. That's putting me in a situation with more people. I'm already. The older I get, the less I like people. My retirement plan is to move out to a cabin in the woods that has Internet and just like, you know when.

[Mari Takahashi]

Become a murderer.

[Lasercorn]

No.

[Mari Takahashi]

Become a murderer the way that your destiny is.

[Lasercorn]

No, I mean, if someone shows up on my Property, yes, but mostly be a hermit and just not interact with humanity as much as possible. And then, you know, my wife's like, what if you need medical attention or something? What if you fall down and can't get up? I'm like, well, then it was my time to go. And, like, maybe a bear will get me. Because that's. That's the coolest way to go out.

[Ian Hecox]

No, no, it's not the coolest way to go out.

[Lasercorn]

Getting eaten by a bear absolutely is.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't think. I don't think.

[Lasercorn]

Disagree, sir. Disagree.

[Mari Takahashi]

No, it's horrifying.

[Lasercorn]

You don't want your teeth.

[Mari Takahashi]

Did you play Red Dead?

[Lasercorn]

No. What? Yeah. That is scary. Look, it's gonna be scary. But then your tombstone reads, went out fighting a bear.

[Ian Hecox]

But wouldn't you want your tombstone to instead read, beat a bear in a. In a wrestling match and then survive to a very long age?

[Lasercorn]

What? But that would involve fighting a bear when I was younger. Like, I'm not gonna win at 80.

[Ian Hecox]

Hey, hey, don't get down on yourself. Anything's possible.

[Lasercorn]

You think I could beat a bear at 80?

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm gonna.

[Lasercorn]

Hey, thanks for being.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm a robot.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, that's true. I'll be mostly robot cyborg. You're right. Okay, so maybe I'll win.

[Mari Takahashi]

But anyway, I want to fight you at 80.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. When we're mostly robots.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, I'm in. Oh, you know what we should do is remember that. That mech we got?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Not got the mech. They let us drive.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Dude, when we're. When we're older, we should buy some ourselves. Some of those when the price comes down. When they get a little cheap. Everything gets cheaper as time goes on, right?

[Mari Takahashi]

That's right.

[Lasercorn]

We have a mech battle.

[Mari Takahashi]

I am so down. Mech battle.

[Lasercorn]

Doing it.

[Mari Takahashi]

You wanna. You Wanna be the MC?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Check back with us guys in 50 years on Smosh Games for Mari versus Lasercorn Mech Battle.

[Ian Hecox]

Senior Elder mech battle.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Senile mech battle coming.

[Lasercorn]

No rules. No teeth. All metal Mech battle. Geriatric mech battle.

[Ian Hecox]

I love it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm so sold.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Geriatric mech battle.

[Ian Hecox]

I think we're onto something, guys. So we won't even die in a retirement home. We'll die in the throes of a mech battle.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's how I want to go.

[Lasercorn]

This is even better than the bear thing.

[Mari Takahashi]

We are Gundam.

[Lasercorn]

Now, now, now. My tombstone will read, died in a mech battle.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

And that's All I want in life.

[Ian Hecox]

It really can't get any better than that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Actually wearing a mech robot T shirt right now.

[Lasercorn]

That's awesome. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Prepared.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's my destiny.

[Lasercorn]

It was meant to be.

[Ian Hecox]

So, speaking of old people, Mari, you're gonna visit your grandma in Japan.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah. She's turning 100 years old.

[Ian Hecox]

That's insane.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, on April 1st. But like, April Fool's Day doesn't exist in Japan, so there's no, like, weird day for that.

[Ian Hecox]

I didn't think about that.

[Lasercorn]

She tricks you. She's like, I'm actually 35. Wait, how. What?

[Mari Takahashi]

That would mean I'm negative nine years old. That math doesn't.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, it doesn't check out.

[Ian Hecox]

So you're going. So you're going back to Japan. So that'll be like your like 1 millionth time this year going.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like I don't even plan to, like, go back to Japan, but it keeps calling me back. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be a cute little celebration. The mayor of the town is coming.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

She gets a little certificate from him.

[Lasercorn]

Mayor McCheese, of course.

[Ian Hecox]

Congratulations. You're old as shit.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that's what it says.

[Mari Takahashi]

Which I feel like is like just par for Japanese people. It's like, oh, you're 100. There's like a thousand 100 year old people in Japan. But she lives way up north in Japan, which is kind of like. Like the way south of the United States. She's kind of like in the dirty south. If you guys know Boomhauer from King of. King of the Hill. Her Japanese accent is kind of equivalent to how Boomhauer talks, where it's like. It's so. It's got such a twang. You don't even understand what she's saying.

[Lasercorn]

Really? So cute.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that's great.

[Mari Takahashi]

She's a cucumber farmer.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, my God.

[Lasercorn]

That's why you love cucumbers.

[Ian Hecox]

That's your dream.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

To just be surrounded by cucumbers that you can just eat all day.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's what I also.

[Lasercorn]

That gesture. Yeah. That's not a gesture you want to do when you. When you refer to eating cucumbers.

[Ian Hecox]

You guys don't.

[Lasercorn]

No. No one eats cucumbers.

[Ian Hecox]

Double fist cucumbers and then just like.

[Lasercorn]

Nope.

[Ian Hecox]

You're the tornado between.

[Mari Takahashi]

Stop.

[Lasercorn]

Please stop doing it.

[Ian Hecox]

Sorry.

[Lasercorn]

But yeah, those of you just listening to the podcast are spared his gesture. Be thankful.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm sorry.

[Lasercorn]

Don't watch the video.

[Mari Takahashi]

What's great is that that was just your go to you didn't even think about it.

[Lasercorn]

He's like, you know, when you're eating cucumbers, how do you guys eat.

[Ian Hecox]

How do you guys eat cucumbers? Not eat two fists, just raw doggin cucumbers, you know?

[Mari Takahashi]

Jesus. Yeah, that's probably why I love cucumbers so much. Cause whenever I used to visit her, I would run into the greenhouses and just pick up cucumbers off the ground and eat them. W. That's why my immune system is so healthy.

[Lasercorn]

Don't you wash them first? They like grow in the dirt.

[Mari Takahashi]

I didn't. And there were like this little tiny green frogs on them all the time too. And they were all over the greenhouse. So I, I would just sit in there with all these little tiny frogs everywhere and they'd be like all over my legs and stuff and I'd collect them and then eat cucumbers off the ground. Okay, can I stop talking about myself?

[Ian Hecox]

So, so your diet, so your diet when you would visit is like half cucumber, half a quarter dirt, and a quarter frog shit?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. And like they're slime.

[Lasercorn]

Oh no, frog slime.

[Mari Takahashi]

Frog slime.

[Ian Hecox]

Like that's why I always hallucinated when I visited.

[Lasercorn]

Just a 9 year old Mari tripping out, tripping balls on a pile of cucumbers.

[Ian Hecox]

So then she's up north, like you had your wedding, down south, you've been Tokyo, you've been to Kyoto. Like what's like your favorite kind of like area of Japan? Because I, I take any excuse I can to go back. I've only been twice.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think I'd still say Tokyo is so cool.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like been there so many times. Like we've explored so much of Tokyo and there's still so many nooks and crannies that like we haven't explored. But I keep hearing that Osaka is kind of like the Silver Lake or like, like Brooklyn. The Brooklyn, yeah. Or like a Portland or something. You know, like people, people really like care about their coffees. There's a lot of young people there. I haven't really seen a lot of Osaka, so maybe this time we will.

[Ian Hecox]

I would love to go to Osaka because I've heard a lot about it, but I haven't. Haven't been there.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's like that town is calling you.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

You're hipster ville, Ian.

[Ian Hecox]

I just sink in with all, with all my Japanese hipsters, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'll take any excuse to go there because they also, I know in Osaka, you know, scrolling through my Instagram. It's. It's mostly food. And they have this, like, cheesecake. It's like a giant jiggly thing, like wobbly jiggly, like, cheesecake that I saw that, that they sell in somewhere in Osaka.

[Mari Takahashi]

You go like this, and it's like a wobble butt. The whole thing just jiggles.

[Lasercorn]

Can you smack it and it jiggles a little?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah, smack the little cheesecake ass.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And the way they make it is like.

[Lasercorn]

It's like a sign on the restaurant, no having sex with the cheesecake. Please, please, sir, madam, stop American pieing it. We've seen. We've seen what you Americans do to desserts. Not in our establishment.

[Ian Hecox]

And of course, like, the. It's like in typical, like, Japanese fashion, like, the way that they make it is like incredibly, like, precise and fast and, like, efficient. Like the way that they, like, they have, like, they whip it up and they, like, pour it in these, like, little, like, molds. These little, like, molds. But it's like, perfect every time. Like, zero drips. It's like. And then they come out looking amazing. And I want it so bad.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. You were obsessing over it last time. You didn't get it.

[Ian Hecox]

I know, because we went. We went past it because we were in Tokyo and then we went down to Hiroshima. Who. That's a. That's a weird. That's a weird place because, like, I didn't know it was such a huge ass city. Like, it was almost like. It was almost like a middle finger to the US to be like, oh, like, you guys decimated. Well, we're just gonna make this place like three, four times bigger than it once was. It's a huge city. I had no idea.

[Mari Takahashi]

So big. And then like, the. The buildings that got affected by the atomic bomb are still, like, as intact as possible. And it's just so, like in the epicenter of the entire city, it's very, like, sad and hopeful at the same time.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like you feel that wherever you go in the city.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. You do feel the weight of it. Because we, we walked through that area because there's that, like, domed building that was. It was right below the explosion.

[Mari Takahashi]

So because the explosion happens, like, in the air, which I didn't know.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Because they detonated in the air. Yeah. Well, the fucked up thing is that the reason they do that is so it has a wider spread. So essentially like the, the, you know, a nuclear bomb, it's not the. It's not the blast force that is deadly. It's the Heat. Because you're essentially creating a sun for, like, one second, Right. So it'll burn everything. But because this, like, domed building was directly below it, the blast went straight down and the structure actually held in place. So they kept that structure there as sort of like a memorial to the. To the, you know, people.

[Lasercorn]

Wow.

[Ian Hecox]

But it's.

[Lasercorn]

That's crazy. Yeah. I didn't know that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

I would like to go to Japan at some point to check it out.

[Mari Takahashi]

Let's go.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, let's do it. I got a translator right here.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, man. Put me to work.

[Ian Hecox]

I guess I did kind of use you as a translator.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's hard not to, because I want to, like, I don't know, order me ramen.

[Ian Hecox]

But also, like, every Japanese. I mean, in the. In the cities, like, most people understand English, like, even if they say they don't speak English, they do. They just don't want to because they're embarrassed, I guess.

[Lasercorn]

They say it in perfect English. No, I don't speak any English. Really? Because that sentence sounded good. Yeah, it's surprising. I just. I don't speak any English at all.

[Ian Hecox]

Because didn't Kojima, like, he. He spoke English. He used to speak English at some of, like, the presentations. Then it wasn't, like, the best English, and he got embarrassed, so he said he would. He wouldn't do it again.

[Mari Takahashi]

Interesting. I didn't know that.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Ian Hecox]

But I will say one thing about Hiroshima, though. Or Hiroshima okonomiyaki.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

Dude.

[Mari Takahashi]

Weird pancake. How do you even explain it?

[Ian Hecox]

So it's like. I mean, it's like a savory pancake. It's. I'm gonna get the ingredients wrong, but, like, the Hiroshima style okonomiyaki is, like, you have, like, a base of, like, a. Like, a batter, right? And so they make. They have this giant griddle. So they do, like, the batter, and then they have, like, yakisoba. It's like noodles. And they have, like, a layer of that. And then they. You know, you can do different kinds of things with it. But what we did was, like, pork and then oysters. Cause, like, oysters is a Hiroshima thing. And then like, an equal kind of, like, flat layer of, like, egg. So they crack an egg, they kind of whip it up, and then they make it in the shape of, like, a pancake. They put that on top, and then they get, like, the. The kewpie mayonnaise, Japanese mayonnaise.

[Mari Takahashi]

Hungry.

[Ian Hecox]

And then they got that black sauce. I don't know what the black sauce Is.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think it's like an oyster fish sauce.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And then they got, like, green onions and, dude, it is so good. And. And I, you know, coming back to la, like, LA pretty much has any kind of food you can think of, but not that. And it's really hard to find Hiroshima style Okonomiyaki because there's an Osaka style that sucks. And you could usually find. Take that.

[Lasercorn]

Osaka sucks.

[Ian Hecox]

You could usually find that.

[Lasercorn]

You should call it Osaka.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, shit.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow.

[Lasercorn]

Come at me.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow. The whole city just has it plastered.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

This man is not invited to this city.

[Ian Hecox]

Wanted dead or alive, but mostly dead.

[Lasercorn]

You started it, man. I was just hype. I was just hype Manning you.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. But I. I became. I became an evangelist for okonomiyaki after. After that experience. And I've been looking. I've been looking for it. There's. There's maybe two places that I've found in LA that. That make it like that. It's hard to find it. It's not very, like, well known. I keep thinking, like, man, if. Like, if people just knew. If people just knew and somebody opened a restaurant that did okonomiyaki, it would kill. I feel like it would.

[Mari Takahashi]

Do you know what would be a shit show? Doing it ourselves. We should get a flat, like, teppanyaki grill. It doesn't even have to be that big. Like. Like one of those, like, portable ones. We can try it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, we could. Yeah, sure.

[Lasercorn]

Turn it into a video. If the restaurant fails, at least we'll get some videos.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I think. I think binging with Babish did. Did one.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. See, we could do it.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I never cook, by the way, so I don't know what I'm saying.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know why I'm volunteering. You guys do it.

[Lasercorn]

Hari will supervise.

[Ian Hecox]

She'll eat.

[Mari Takahashi]

She'll eat it.

[Ian Hecox]

So if. If the viewers. Listeners happen to come across Hiroshima style Okonomiyaki, I say definitely, definitely give it a shot. And if you're of drinking age, it's nice paired with a little. Little lager.

[Mari Takahashi]

A little burr.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Sapporo, you know. Action. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I like a nice ginger beer. I don't know why you would ruin the taste with a beer.

[Ian Hecox]

You're ruining the taste of ginger. Get out of here.

[Mari Takahashi]

Ginger's the best. It's so good for your tongue, too.

[Lasercorn]

Ginger beer is good.

[Ian Hecox]

Did you grow up eating ginger, though?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. See, I didn't.

[Mari Takahashi]

Japanese.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

I like ginger dressing on salad.

[Mari Takahashi]

You are a ginger too, right now, I am.

[Lasercorn]

That's very true.

[Mari Takahashi]

You like yourself.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. I just want to pour myself all over some salad. Whoa.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay. That's a little bit.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, it's a little far. Redacted. Can't just say redacted.

[Mari Takahashi]

It works. It's like declaring bankruptcy. It's the same thing.

[Ian Hecox]

What's like, the crazy. Like, what. What do you think is, like, the coolest place or, like, what's a place that you would recommend people go to? Because you've obviously. Mario, you've been to so many places in the past couple years. Like, what would. Like, what's. What's, like. Okay, so what's a place for, like, if you're just looking for a chill vacation or a place for, like, exploring?

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, if you live in the United States and you don't have a passport yet and you're kind of like, don't want to go through the whole hoopla of all that stuff. Go to Hawaii. I feel like Hawaii, like, feels like it's halfway around the world.

[Ian Hecox]

Cause it is.

[Mari Takahashi]

I mean, from California, it's not that far. It's like four hours from California.

[Lasercorn]

That's not bad.

[Mari Takahashi]

No, but it feels like you're in a completely, like, jungle y different, exotic, gorgeous place. And then your phone works, your money works, your language works. So if you're a U.S. american, I would. I would. I would say Hawaii is, like, your best shot of, like, feeling like you're really far away without having to have to put that much work into.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

The process.

[Ian Hecox]

Just don't do Oahu. Too many people.

[Lasercorn]

Too many people.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Maui was awesome. Yeah, Maui was dope. And then Kauai was dope. Yeah. Yeah. We picked the good islands.

[Ian Hecox]

I know, dude. I went to Oahu after, and it's like. It's fine. Like, there's, like, awesome. There's definitely awesome stuff there. The food's great, but there's just so many people. And it's like, you go to, like, this, like, place that should be an island paradise, and then you, like, step out onto the street and it's just always people, and you're like, this isn't a paradise. This is just a. This feels like I'm walking through a mall. Tourists constantly.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah. Because there's a lot of just, like, people who actually live there. Right. It's just a big city.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Honolulu is a pretty big. Pretty big spat. Yeah. Hawaii just seems like when you're thinking about, like, a vacation, to me, it always just seemed like kind of a cop out because it is so easy and you're like, ah, guess we're gonna go to Hawaii. Like, not that it's a bad thing. Like, Hawaii is amazing, but I don't know, like, I want to go somewhere. I want to go somewhere, like, cooler. But also, I'm kind of lazy, and I don't want to. I don't know. I'm also a little afraid of going to a place where English isn't, like, the main language. It just gives me too much anxiety.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like. The thing is, it is such a privilege to know English because it is really the. The language that is spoken every. Everywhere around the world. Like, there is still basic English pretty much anywhere that normal tourists go. And I feel like in so many ways, like, I don't know how that became the thing around the world, that colonialism. Yeah, it's just like. Like, it was, like, bullied almost, where it's just like, what do you mean? What do you mean you don't know English? You better learn it. And it's like, why we're in Honduras, you know, and it's like this thing. But, like, I've realized wherever I am in the world, you know, like, people know English, it's such a privilege to know it. So it's good to be reminded of it and be grateful for it and just to understand that, like, you can go anywhere and say it, but at the same time, it's really important to be mindful of, like, oh, this is not the prime language. I should at least know how to say thank you, please, and I'm sorry. Right, so it's. Travel's good. Opens up your eyes.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

But you've been. You've always been traveling. Like, even before. Even before YouTube. Like, you. You, like, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. You were doing, like, ice climbing. You were running away from a possible attacker. And was that Peru?

[Mari Takahashi]

In Peru, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

In the dark of the night.

[Mari Takahashi]

But that was literally months before we first met.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And I think, you know, it's one of these things where it's like, we'll never know. But I do feel like I was more of an interesting person because I traveled. Like, I feel like, you know, that first worst audition ever, you know, like, I went into it not knowing what the heck I was doing.

[Ian Hecox]

So for the people listening that didn't see this, this was a video that Anthony and I made where we were auditioning people for Smosh Pit Weekly, which was the first video that wasn't going to feature us. And Mari was one of the people that was in the audition. Sorry, go ahead.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, it was random questions, right? Like, what's your favorite Pokemon? What would you bring to the end of the world? What's the weirdest thing you've eaten? Like, I feel like I wouldn't have been like a well rounded, worldly, interesting person to have anything to bring to the table had I not traveled.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, because. Yeah, because you said the weirdest thing you8 was guinea pig.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And we're like, what?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, yeah. And I know that you have one, but yeah, I think that's one of.

[Lasercorn]

The things I have some barbecue sauce. Let's get this party started.

[Mari Takahashi]

Some guinea pig on the Barbie. Yeah. But, yeah, I think that's one of the reasons why I encourage people to travel because I'm like, I don't know if I would have, like, you know, hit it off with you guys had I just not been. I don't, like, outside of, like, myself. You know what I mean? Like, understood what it's like to just live.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And so, you know, when I hear, like, my nephews, my seven and nine year old nephews being like, oh, I just want to be a YouTuber when I grow up, and I'm like, be interesting first. Like, be a person. Be a whole person. So that you have something to bring to the table so that you don't go on a podcast and you're like, I don't have any experiences.

[Lasercorn]

You know, it's like this one time in Fortnite.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

No, I got a triple cue. I think you're totally hitting on something. Because I think it is important to see how other people live and unders. Like, the most. The most important part of being human is. Is. Is seeing. Is being able to place yourself in other people's shoes and understand.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

That everyone has a different experience. And unless you go out there and see it for yourself, you might be missing.

[Lasercorn]

You know, at the same time, though, not everyone has the means to travel.

[Ian Hecox]

Absolutely. And I would also, like, recommend that people that are living in the US Actually see other places in the US because it's a huge country. Like, we shouldn't. We shouldn't be one country. We are not a country of, like, one kind of people. You go around the US and you will see very different people.

[Lasercorn]

So Ian just said that we should not be one country, which means we should all succeed. Inciting revolution.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Lasercorn]

So if anyone out there, any government agency is looking for people doing that, this guy.

[Ian Hecox]

Don't put me on a list and.

[Lasercorn]

Remember, I'm on this end of the table. Not.

[Mari Takahashi]

You would be such a leader. You would be such a revolution. You're like, I don't know what I want, but I just wanted to be called Laser Cornea. Who's with me?

[Ian Hecox]

Does this mean we get machetes?

[Lasercorn]

It's like, look, I have nothing to do with this revolution. It's like, why is everything behind you on fire? That was there when I got there.

[Mari Takahashi]

This is Fire City. So I don't know what you're talking about.

[Lasercorn]

You can see the sign that I didn't just make now. And so it's Fire City.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

So it's been Fire City for a while.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think it was like Zelda, Breath of the Wild. Everything is torched and lavaed. You would live there.

[Ian Hecox]

But I think that. I think that is super important. But, yeah, you're totally right. There. There's a money. There's a money barrier for sure. You know, luckily, there's. There's ways to cut costs on travel. There's. There's hostels. I never did.

[Mari Takahashi]

I did the hostel thing.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. You have to kind of, like, keep your wits about you. But you. Gosh, there are some interesting people. I stayed in a hostel in the ski town in France called Chamonix. And, like, everyone there was an expat. Like, they used to live in the United States. They had, like, families, jobs, corporate jobs. They had, like. Like, normal lives over here. And then they're like, one day, I just up and left everything. And I've been here for 25 years. I'm like, whoa, what do you do every day? And they're like, well, I just ski on the mountain.

[Ian Hecox]

That's a little bit of a privileged situation.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Not everybody can just skis.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Well, and then it's also like, oh.

[Ian Hecox]

By the way, I have a rich dad.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. It's weird. It's. It's interesting.

[Ian Hecox]

But there's certainly a way. There's a way to do it. But I do think it's a little. A lot of, like, Europeans criticize Americans for not traveling. And it's like, you realize there's this thing called the ocean.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So you guys take a train, and you're in a completely different culture.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Which I think is.

[Ian Hecox]

It's so cool. It's so cool.

[Mari Takahashi]

If anything, don't do what I did and spend your entire savings on traveling, which is one of the reasons why I was taking so many jobs, which is probably how I ended up taking, like, a smosh gig in the first place because I was just like, oh, my gosh, I have nothing in my.

[Lasercorn]

Savings account, so I need a job.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I better just take anything.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, that worked out.

[Mari Takahashi]

It worked out in a way where it's. It was never expected, which I think is, like, I don't know. So cool.

[Ian Hecox]

So. So for everyone listening, all you have to do is spend all your money on travel, and it'll all work out. And it'll all work out. You'll get picked up by a YouTube channel, and you'll. You'll get brand deals, and you'll be just fine.

[Lasercorn]

Terrible advice.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's.

[Ian Hecox]

That's. That's my job here, is to give terrible advice. It wouldn't be this. It wouldn't be the Smosh cast if I didn't. Do you guys have any weird sto. What's the weirdest story between you two.

[Lasercorn]

That involves both of us?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, I have one, and this is pretty recent.

[Lasercorn]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like this story highlights you in the best possible way, and I feel like it wraps up you perfectly. So it was your wife's birthday. It was a surprise party that you very successfully pulled off for her. And it was silent disco, which means that you wear headphones like this, and there's a DJ playing only music into your headphones, and no other music is going on. And so if you take it off, there's just no music. And if you put it back on, there's headphones. Everyone listens to the same song. And so you kind of dance around when you want to.

[Ian Hecox]

And if you have the headphones off, everyone looks crazy.

[Mari Takahashi]

Everyone really does look super crazy if you don't have it off. Yeah. Okay. So I look over. There's two channels on your. On your headsets. You can either be on the blue channel channel or the green channel. And they have, like, different songs on each.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

And so I get to. I go over and get some snacks or something, and I come back and I look at this ocean of people. Everyone's dancing and having a great time. It's really, really cool. Everyone's got their headphones on, and, like, everyone's bopping, like, kind of at the same time. Everyone has blue headphones, and the one person in the ocean of people with green headphones is this guy.

[Lasercorn]

I'm making the playlist on the green.

[Mari Takahashi]

Channel, bopping to the same rhythm as everyone else when I clearly know that you're not listening to the same song.

[Lasercorn]

I can't dance. I just mimic what other people are doing.

[Mari Takahashi]

I just feel like that's how you go through life. You're like, yeah, I. I'm having the same conversation as you. And it's like we're having a different conversation.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow. I love it.

[Lasercorn]

The story that immediately comes to mind for me is Mari's various injuries. She was. She was in a hamster ball and wearing a GoPro and somehow managed to smack herself in the face with the GoPro. Yes. I did explain how this happened.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, so it's a giant human hamster ball that is blown up and you are able to step inside of it and roll in it. I don't know. You guys probably had the brilliant idea to put a GoPro on my head.

[Lasercorn]

And I did it.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, we needed the first person view.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, the first person view, but everyone else did it and was fine.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, well, I have a very small head. I have like a toddler sized head. My 7 year old nephew's beanie fits on my head. So I have a very small head. I don't know why I don't have a back of a head, but it's just. It's like, it's a straight line from my neck and then it's my face. It's like a, like a, like a letter D. Anyway, it slid down right to the bridge of my nose. And in that moment, the monstrosity that Wes is.

[Lasercorn]

Oh, yeah, this is Wes's fault.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know.

[Lasercorn]

I knew it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know why he shoulder checked it from the back, but that sent me flying into the front and then I nearly broke my nose.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, well, you had. You had a big ass cut on your nose, right?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I had to nelly it for like a week and a half. I had a band aid on my face.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that was a cool look. You were gangster.

[Mari Takahashi]

I kind of. Look, I liked it too.

[Ian Hecox]

And then that night, there was a bunch of us partying at Joven and Wes's place and. And we stayed up very, very, very, very, very, very, very late. And you were hanging out, just kind of being like chaperone to all the kids.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yep.

[Ian Hecox]

The kids being us. And then you went home. Like, I don't think you slept.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I got on a flight that morning.

[Ian Hecox]

And you went back home and you didn't feel right. Right. So you went to the doctor. You could tell this story because this is your story.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay. Okay. So I went to the ER because I was having headaches and I do like a CAT scan or CT scan or whatever you do for your. For your head. And the doctor says, gosh, did you go to sleep last night because you have a mild concussion. And I said, no, actually, my friends, like, kept me awake all night because, you know, they were up and he's like, well, your friends saved your life. And in my head, I'm like, my dumb friends are partying. Like, I distinctly remember, like, what was it like? You and Joven were, like, wrapped in blankets, like, on, like, the corner, like, sofa. I think I was just, like, looking from afar. I'm like, are you guys okay? Like, I was just playing mom all night. But then to hear this doctor be like, your friends saved your life. As if this, like, is, like, angelic thing happening.

[Lasercorn]

Some altruistic thing they were doing when they were just trying to have a good time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, you're just being idiotic.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, see, partying saves lives.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God. Terrible, terrible information.

[Ian Hecox]

And also, don't play hamster balls with Wes, because he could kill you.

[Lasercorn]

Giant hamster ball.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like he's the sweet boy. And then all of a sudden, he has, like, a fit of anger and he's like. And he holds out and he's like, let's shoulder Check this. 100 pound girl in a hammer ball. Yeah, I'm still friends with these people.

[Lasercorn]

Good times.

[Mari Takahashi]

Gosh, I forgot that that's the part two of that story. I totally forgot.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah. That you almost. Oh, yeah. The part where you almost died. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's the moral of the story. If you think you have a concussion, don't go to sleep that night. Not partying saves a lot.

[Lasercorn]

You're not.

[Ian Hecox]

No. Why can't both be true?

[Mari Takahashi]

Fine. Fine.

[Lasercorn]

I thought I read that you're not more likely to die if you're asleep. You're just more likely to die and no one notice. Well, like, if you. I forget what I read, but it's like if you enter a state where, like, you are going to die from your concussion, like, if you're awake, people will notice. They'll be like, hey, why'd you suddenly slump over? But if you're asleep, you just keep being asleep. Yeah. So it's like people actually notice. So. Yeah. That's why they tell you to stay awake, I think. Or I could be totally wrong. Someone fact check me. I'd love to be wrong.

[Ian Hecox]

Any neurologists out there hit us up.

[Lasercorn]

And if any questions about space, Mari can answer them.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

With the help of Wikipedia.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

KEVIPEDIA.

[Lasercorn]

There's over 72 stars in space, too, right?

[Mari Takahashi]

That's true. And one of them is named after you.

[Lasercorn]

Lasercorn.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yep.

[Lasercorn]

There's a lasercorn star.

[Mari Takahashi]

Ah, it's not. There isn't.

[Lasercorn]

But I figured, like, why would you lie about space?

[Mari Takahashi]

Well, I was trying to gauge your excitement. Cause if you were really excited, I would buy it for your birthday. But Mortal Kombat comes out on your birthday, I think, so that'll be my gift for you.

[Lasercorn]

Nope. I need a lasercorn star.

[Mari Takahashi]

Making it happen.

[Ian Hecox]

And just so you guys know, speaking of Mortal Kombat, we got. We got early access to Mortal Kombat 11, so we're gonna be. We're gonna be playing it before anyone else does. We got an exclusive new look, so pretty exciting. So.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Ian Hecox]

So please, if you're not yet subscribed to Smosh games, please do that. And. And for the heck of it, just watch a bunch of videos. Just. Just get back up to speed. You know, it's. It's a new life for Smosh Games. I'm very, very, very excited. One of the. One of the sort of big things with. With Smosh games was when. When the whole like Defy thing happened and we were sort of. Cause like, I sort of became a little bit separated from Smosh games. Like towards the end with Defy, it was just like I was so heavily focused on like main channel and I didn't realize like all of the fuckery, shall we say, that Defy had with. With Smosh games and one of. One of Defy's like sort of sins. Like one of their. One of their plans. Oh, plan for like their idea of. And this actually kind of also went for Smosh as well. But they were like, we just need young hot people to be on these channels and we'll just get rid of all the old people. Cause they treated it like Disney.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's rough.

[Ian Hecox]

And that's not how the Internet works.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah, that worked out really well for that sourcefed channel.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh man.

[Lasercorn]

When they just got rid of everyone and replaced them with now this nerd. Yeah, it went over really well, which I saw.

[Ian Hecox]

They deleted that. I think they deleted that because it was too much of an embarrassment.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So like Defy, you know, in. In so many words, was not. Not necessarily forcing, you know, the OGs out, but they weren't making it easy for you guys to stay around. And I was only so much aware of this because I was just fully focused on like the main channel creative stuff. I. I didn't realize how much, you know, bad stuff was happening over there. So when, you know, when Defy, you know, collapsed and I started talking to all you guys, I was. Because, like, with Smosh Main, it was very obvious what we're gonna do. We're just gonna keep going at it. But then I started talking to all you guys. I was like, oh, this happened, this happened, this happened. Oh, my God, this is fucked. Like, and so, like, you know, my. One of my priorities was, like, Smosh and Smosh games shouldn't be, like, a separate thing. Like, it should just be Smosh. Like, there shouldn't be a reason why we look at Smosh and Smosh games as any different. You know, it's just us playing games over here. Like, there shouldn't be so much of a separation. That's. That's what I want to do going forward. You know, we're just a big old family. You see new faces, you're going to see old faces, you're going to see, you know, people you don't normally see on Smosh games from, like, Main Smosh and some videos on Smosh games, and vice versa. It's just going to be a big old family. And I think that's what it should have been in the first place. And that's what it was in the first place. But it just got kind of more separated.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I feel like a company that isn't working with us day in and day out. Like, the. The people who ran that company barely saw us.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And so I feel like they were able to see it in a really cold way where it was like, let's separate these into two different groups, because it's easier to market, it's easier to brand. It's easier to talk to somebody who doesn't know these people and say, these people are in this group and this is in this group. And so that's why it was separated out, because it was seen as a really heartless sort of thing where you can just kind of tie it up in a neat little bow. But I think we've all realized that we're. We're so well rounded and so, like, differently talented, and there's no reason why any of us should have to stick to one thing or another. It's the reason why all of us are here is because we're so multifaceted. You know, it's like Lasercorn plays video games. But he also writes and he has scripts, and, like, he has. He has different passions and, like, and he's also able to edit, and he's able to, you know, like, create, like, a voice through edits. And I don't know. I think it comes from the fact that we've all had these, like, really weird windy roads to get here, but a company like Defy really wanted to, like, just keep us in a box and say, well, that doesn't belong over there, so you can't even do it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. One of the most fun videos we did was when Shane came and did Nic Cage joins Grand Theft Smosh, which was awesome and hilarious. And he did, through the entire video, this really funny Nicolas Cage impression and acted like him and stuff and was over the top. And at the end, we're like, man, that was awesome. We should do more of this, like, Smosh and Smosh games collaborations. And then just like, it never happened. Like, we had trouble getting him for stuff, and I understand he was busy with other stuff, but, like, I'm like, there should be more, you know, more crossover.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I totally agree. And, I mean, it just makes sense, like, when awesome stuff like that happens. Like, yeah, we have the opportunity to do that, and we just need to take advantage of that.

[Mari Takahashi]

I mean, it must be really cool for you, having, like, a fresh new beginning. I mean, you've been at this from the start. You've seen it from, you know, something that you never expected to turn into this beast.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And now you get to do whatever you want with it.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, not whatever I want, but for the most part, let's do it if it makes sense. I. You know, I can't just be like, well, tomorrow we're gonna. We're gonna transition Smosh to a cruise line live show, and we're just gonna be doing shows on cruises. I don't.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow.

[Ian Hecox]

Not that I would want to do that, because I don't.

[Mari Takahashi]

We would have an opening number. I've always wanted an opening number.

[Ian Hecox]

We'll get you an opening number.

[Lasercorn]

Yeah. You keep trying to pitch us on as opening numbers.

[Mari Takahashi]

I was, like, lazy one. You would love it. You would have a tap number, and then you'd have, like, a quick change.

[Ian Hecox]

Her name is Mari.

[Lasercorn]

Mari Rakahashi.

[Mari Takahashi]

I remember you saying you wanted to do a podcast, like, months ago, and now you got it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it didn't. It didn't make sense at Defy. It just. It never felt right. And this, to me, like, the podcast to me now, is just so important with what we're doing and just being able to, you know, open. Open the listeners and the viewers up to our lives and. And what the whole situation is. Because the big, like, separation for me is like, you know, people usually only see what's. What's on camera or like, what's in the sketches. But they don't see, like, the family actually at work and, like, together, and they don't understand, like, the relationships that everyone has. Like, it's an awesome place to be, and we just haven't been able to show people that part of it. So this was kind of like the opportunity to open that window and get.

[Mari Takahashi]

People a little closer to us also having this candor.

[Lasercorn]

Right?

[Mari Takahashi]

Because, like, this is the way we talk to each other normally without cameras. But, you know, the content that we've always made, as soon as there's a camera, we. There's this need for it to be, like, punchy and, you know, over the top and, like, really exciting and something that we visualize will be, like, a really good video. And I think we all want that, and that's why we become these, like, Personas of ourselves. But I think it's really wonderful that the audience gets to see a different side, which is the way we talk to each other normally, which is, like, not up here. Oh, my God, up here. But like, like, this is the. This is like the regular tone and the candor and, you know, and I think that our conversations go from, like, hilarious to deep all the time. And so I think it's really cool to be able to share that.

[Ian Hecox]

And it's cool to just show people, like, you don't have to. You don't have to be like a crazy character to be, like, interesting. Like, just be yourself. And that's. And that's interesting enough. Like, just be, like, honest and true to who you are and, you know, people appreciate that.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's the takeaway. That's the 15 second clip and party to save lives.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't. I can't see. Like, I have an issue and I have an issue with, like, you know, when I'm serious, when I'm, like, serious about things, like, then I have to. Then I just have to ruin it with a stupid ass joke.

[Lasercorn]

Is it a joke, though? If it works.

[Ian Hecox]

If lives are saved, that does it for this week. If you're not yet subscribed to the smoshcast on any of your favorite podcast apps, please do that. And if you are subscribed to this on YouTube, thank you so much. You can see our faces. That's pretty cool. But if you want to hear it first, you got to hear it on the podcast apps and then it comes out Friday for you. YouTube. Also, Smosh Games is coming back April 10th, baby. Gonna be doing a little tour, showing you guys around the space, and then we're playing some Mortal Kombat 11. No, we're gonna get. We're gonna get copyright strike for that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah, because that was perfectly on pitch.

[Lasercorn]

The algorithm's like, no, not that one. No, that one's fine.

[Ian Hecox]

So Mortal Kombat video will be coming out on the 13th. So subscribe to Smosh Games. There's gonna be a lot more content coming out there. We're gonna be in it more. Myself, Courtney, Shane, Damien. Like, we're all.

[Mari Takahashi]

You're coming back?

[Ian Hecox]

I'm coming back. Yeah. So it'll be a lot of fun. Thank you guys so much for coming. I can't wait to do more things with you guys. I'm so excited. Welcome back.

[Lasercorn]

Caught it. No, it's mine. Stop it.