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Ryan Seacrest
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Damien Haas
No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law. 21 + terms and conditions apply.
Courtney Miller
Ramble. I feel weird knowing that there are photos on Facebook of me and my ex. I delete them whenever I see them. I don't want to have a collection of the people that I've had in my life like that.
Ian Hecox
Gravity is just a force that's just continuously pulling us. It's like if somebody were to just be consistently pushing you towards a direction, we're getting consistently sucked downwards.
Courtney Miller
Would you say sucked downwards or pushed downwards?
Ian Hecox
I'd say sucked.
Damien Haas
Right when Skyrim came out, I would stock up on food. I had laundry in my room. Like, I didn't need to go anywhere for anything. I would go days without talking to people.
Courtney Miller
Hello, isolation.
Damien Haas
I'm beaming right now. Look at this smile. I mean, Ian's balls fell off as the most clickable video we've ever had.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Ian's Balls a TED Talk. Ian's Balls Hurt. Ian's Balls Hurt. That's the title.
Damien Haas
It's a five second clip.
Ian Hecox
I feel like I've never. I've never said fuck you to somebody that. I've never said fuck you to somebody's face in like an angry way.
Courtney Miller
I've seen them call somebody a fuck face.
Ian Hecox
To their face.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
What, out of anger?
Ian Hecox
Not to their face.
Damien Haas
Or was it like a real situation?
Courtney Miller
You called somebody a fuck face during a video? I think you got cut. I think you called Anthony a fuck face.
Ian Hecox
Whoa. To his face.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Or maybe it wasn't Anthony. It was during. It could have been summer during summer games. Like a Joven or a Sohinky. But you definitely called. You were heated and you called somebody a fuckface.
Damien Haas
Wow.
Courtney Miller
But it was like in a game. So it's like game heated.
Ian Hecox
You know, probably it was probably that kickball game.
Courtney Miller
No.
Ian Hecox
Yelled at each other. I called somebody a face.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
Because that's a funny one. Yeah, that's. That's something I feel like I'd say to Shane if he was being a dingus you face, and then he'd laugh and do his. He'd start the low and get high like he does.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah.
Courtney Miller
He's a couple people. Butt munch.
Damien Haas
But Much is a good one.
Ian Hecox
We should bring back Penis Wrinkle.
Damien Haas
I've never heard that one.
Ian Hecox
You never heard that?
Courtney Miller
I've only heard that from you.
Ian Hecox
Really?
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
It's that children's book, A Wrinkle in Shaft.
Ian Hecox
Welcome, everyone, to the Smash Cast.
Courtney Miller
What is this? I haven't been here in a while.
Ian Hecox
I know, I know. Well, to everyone else, like, it's just been like a smoshcast coming every week and whatnot. But we. We recorded several podcasts leading up to a little winter break that we took. You know, a little. A little sanity break from all the crazy stuff that we do.
Damien Haas
A little Santa tea break. Because it's Christmas or holiday.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
We're basically in high school. We had winter break. We came to a new year.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
New us.
Ian Hecox
That's true. That's true. We took about two weeks off, so we recorded, I think, like, four podcasts.
Courtney Miller
In a day and edited Kevin and did a couple compilations. Thank you. Thank you for that, Kev.
Damien Haas
Yeah. Good job, Kevin.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. So we all went our separate ways for the holidays.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Some of us went back home to wherever the heck we came from.
Courtney Miller
We all stayed in California.
Damien Haas
Yeah. I visited my mom in San Diego for a few days. I just take the train to do that. But otherwise I was like, I just needed some time at home. Like, our schedule stays so crazy here that I'm just like, I haven't vacuumed my room in a while. Like, just that kind of stuff.
Ian Hecox
Did you spend all winter break vacuuming your room?
Damien Haas
I did. And just staring in the mirror while doing it. And it was one spot. Some people would say it's a mental breakdown.
Courtney Miller
But, like, when you're gay, when you hear that you're getting the stuff.
Ian Hecox
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes.
Damien Haas
There's, like, one white patch of carpet now in an otherwise beige room.
Ian Hecox
Do you get that sound when you, like, vacuum, like, around your cat's litter box?
Courtney Miller
Oh, yeah.
Ian Hecox
All that stuff.
Damien Haas
Yeah. Try to sweep that first, because then when you're trying to empty out, like, I've got, like, that handheld Dyson kind of deal. Yeah. So it's only got that small tank. So that thing's fully filled with litter. That's a bad time.
Ian Hecox
Wow. Dyson, how does it feel to be in a one person.
Damien Haas
It was a Gift, you fuck. That was a joke from before.
Courtney Miller
Well, it's really in it.
Ian Hecox
I think we might throw the fuck face in there. So go ahead, call it. Say it.
Damien Haas
Joke, you fudge mouth.
Ian Hecox
Just say it.
Damien Haas
You were just saying it, but it was like. It was peppery and in the moment and now I've like lost my vibe.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, you don't want to say it when you don't feel it?
Ian Hecox
No, no, but it'll feel good. Just do it. Just try it.
Damien Haas
You flip flop cute. You flip flop.
Ian Hecox
I'm telling you, man.
Courtney Miller
Ooh. Flip flop.
Ian Hecox
The day that you say it to my face, you're going to feel so good.
Damien Haas
I say it out you all the time.
Courtney Miller
But the Dyson was a big investment. Yeah, it's a pretty penny. Yeah, it's.
Damien Haas
I was. I was very lucky to get it as a gift. I do. I acknowledge that.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, dude. But it's good. I don't. It's like the one I have. Like when you put it on max, I don't need to sweep. Yeah, I'll hit that. And then I. Then I do the Swiffer and nothing.
Damien Haas
But the battery goes into like overdrive. You're like, you got three minutes of max.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, that battery lasts like 30 minutes tops.
Ian Hecox
That's the issue. It goes very fast.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Yeah. But it's good.
Ian Hecox
Welcome back to Vac Talk.
Courtney Miller
Vac Chat.
Ian Hecox
Vac Chat.
Courtney Miller
I did a lot of things.
Ian Hecox
There probably is a vacuum podcast where they just talk about vacuum or home.
Courtney Miller
Improvement podcast, but they got Vacuum Tuesdays.
Ian Hecox
Vacuum Tuesdays, Yes.
Damien Haas
Took me a minute for the tip.
Courtney Miller
Vacuum Wednesdays, vacuum vents.
Ian Hecox
There's one called the Vacuum Podcast with Miles. Hosted by Miles Null. Comprehensive reviews, news and information on vacuum cleaners.
Courtney Miller
Cute.
Ian Hecox
Look at that. So there is a podcast on vacuums. If you're a big vac fan and you got to get your Vac talk.
Damien Haas
In, they should call it just the Vax miss.
Ian Hecox
Oh, dang.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Wow.
Courtney Miller
I love that.
Damien Haas
So you did a lot of cleaning.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, dude. Okay. Well, I was very sick over winter break. We both were.
Ian Hecox
Everyone was.
Courtney Miller
I couldn't even make it to the last day at work because I. I was so sick I couldn't even water in my body. Party that I should, but I should not have. I know. I was like, but I gotta go, though.
Ian Hecox
I couldn't, man. We like. So basically I'd say half or 75% of the office caught this flu. Yeah, I definitely got it.
Courtney Miller
We were in the office that day before the party and like, me and Monica were Like, trying to stay awake, but, like, Monica was sleeping.
Ian Hecox
We had like a secret Santa where everyone got each other a present and we were all like, partying and stuff. And like, I look over and like, Monica's sleeping on the couch. I was like, oh. But I went home. I was like, okay, I'll just take a nap and then I'll have enough energy. Like, you guys went out and got some. Got some bomb pizza. And I was like, okay, I'll just skip the pizza. I'll just take a nap and then I'll go to the holiday party. I sat on my couch and I was like, I cannot get up.
Damien Haas
Oh, poor guy. Yeah, I knew you were feeling rough. It hit everybody super hard. And I think it's so interesting that we have like this office culture of like, I feel like if someone is sick and they wanted to go home, that would be okay, but nobody like, makes anyone do that. And so when someone gets sick, we just sort of ping pong back and forth and someone will show up, be like, no, I'm actually fine. I can stick it out today. We should be like, get out of here, patient zero. Because this was like, this was the one time I skipped being sick in the office. Like, people joke around, like in comments that I'm always sick, but it's just the way we film videos. Yeah, I'm not always sick at all, but if that's weird, I've.
Courtney Miller
Damn.
Ian Hecox
No, no, no. They're saying you're always sick Nar.
Damien Haas
But yeah, so I did get sick of a break, but like, I was just sort of shocked looking around and being like, wow, is this what people think of me? Yeah, ill babies.
Ian Hecox
And it's so funny because, like, this is the first year that I got the flu shot and I think I got the flu. But then I heard somebody said that, like, there's two different. You get the flu shot and then you get the flu. It's. The symptoms aren't as bad.
Damien Haas
I think that's the case.
Courtney Miller
Well, there's also, there's a two types of flus and there's like a certain. They only like, will give you one. A vaccine for the, for one of the types.
Damien Haas
Oh, really?
Courtney Miller
Yeah, that's what Shane was saying. Like, there's like a. There's a flu. There's a flu A and a flu B. Oh, that's something like that. And it's like they give you the vaccine for the one that they're worried about.
Ian Hecox
I feel like we need to bring a real doctor on here to be like, no, actually, I mean, it's like. Yeah. I mean, I think it's. It's. It's essentially like the flu vaccine is, like. Is, like medicine's best guess at what.
Courtney Miller
The strain is, at what the DNA of it are. Is the genetic makeup of it.
Damien Haas
But the only things we've talked about so far. Vacuums, vaccines, and vacations.
Ian Hecox
Oh, it's the V talk.
Damien Haas
It's just vac. I had to say it.
Ian Hecox
What else? Vodkas. We could talk about vodkas.
Courtney Miller
What's that? Vodka sodas.
Ian Hecox
It's. No, it's just a cow.
Damien Haas
It's a Spanish.
Courtney Miller
Oh, cute.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Vodka.
Damien Haas
Sorry, sorry.
Ian Hecox
No, no, it's fine. Did you get the flu shot, Courtney?
Courtney Miller
No, I didn't. Like, there's a. There's a place where we could get him really close to our studio. And he went. And I was like, frick, I have a scene. I can't. But I would have gotten it otherwise. But, like, my flu became the stomach flu, so it was so bad. I was literally. I was texting you all day. I was like, I. I'm sipping water, and if I take too many sips, it's leaving my body.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Like, I had to fight. And, like, Shane brought a little care package of, like, ginger ale and stuff on his way to the office.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And I would have died otherwise. I honestly would have had to go to the emergency.
Ian Hecox
You were messed up because, like, I just. I was just, like. I was just really tired. I was a little achy. My head was all stuffy. But other than that, like, I wasn't throwing up or anything. Like, you were.
Courtney Miller
I was just at the party. I was talking up a storm with people, and then I, like, ended it dancing a little bit. Like, definitely pushed my body.
Ian Hecox
Might have had a few drinky drinks.
Courtney Miller
I did. Yes. Rhett got me a Prosecco. It was very nice, but it was. I definitely pushed my body, like, dancing and talking. I was like. Because I was losing my voice, being sick. I was, like, talking to the writing team at Mythical, and I was, like, pushing.
Ian Hecox
You were living that life. You just had to pay for it.
Courtney Miller
But it literally costed me my winter break because I was so sick the entire time. That kind of sick where you're like, I don't remember what it feels like to feel good. Like, literally, what is our scene in every sick day?
Ian Hecox
We did that in every sick day.
Courtney Miller
It's so real. And, like, I was recovering from, like, a medical operation, and then I got sick right when I was, like, when.
Damien Haas
It, like, doubles up.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. So it was like six, seven weeks of just not being able to be my normal self. And I was like, in a really bad place.
Ian Hecox
But now you back in the gym. You get yourself back in the game.
Courtney Miller
Bee during winter break. I think my favorite tweet that I saw, which was so true, it was Eugene from Try Guys. He was like, yeah, like the new Year, we're all gonna be, like, trying to be our better selves, like, New Year's resolutions and stuff. But take these days between Christmas and New Year's, those six days, be the most unimpressive version of yourself. Become a couch. Like, do not do anything. Like, these are your days. And I had seen that after the fact. I was like, yes, that's what I did. I played Minecraft for six hours.
Damien Haas
Wow.
Courtney Miller
Like, I respect that.
Ian Hecox
I'm trying to think of the laziest thing that I did over the winter break.
Damien Haas
I played Danganronpa for a full day.
Ian Hecox
Which is what?
Damien Haas
It's like a murder mystery game.
Ian Hecox
Danganronpa.
Damien Haas
Danganronpa. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
It's is like, Australian. No, look at that. Danganronpa.
Damien Haas
Look at that. Danganronpa. No, it's just a murder mystery game. And it's like, I don't know, it's a very, like, whodunit situation, but it also has, like, normal life aspect built in. So once you do that and then a murder happens, then the investigation happens. You're like, well, I gotta collect clues. And then you go to a trial and you have to, like, prove your case, and then it all starts again. So it's the kind of thing where you're like, okay, well, I'll just finish up this bit and then I'll go to bed. And then 14 hours have passed and you're like, who am I?
Ian Hecox
Is this a video game?
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
When a game can do that to you, like, hell yeah.
Damien Haas
I've missed that feeling so much. And I. I think I started playing Danganronpa, like, midway through my time at, like, Defy Smosh. And I, like, sort of forgot about it. And then I was like, why can't I move on? Why can't I find that new game that makes me get lost for hours and hours and hours because I never finished. So now I'm. Now I'm feeling good and I moved on to the next one.
Courtney Miller
When Skyrim was new.
Damien Haas
That's literally what I'm talking about. Like, I need a new Skyrim. And right now that's Danganronpa.
Courtney Miller
Nice.
Ian Hecox
Danganronpa. Yeah, I forget. I miss Those days, like when I would play a game till the sun literally rose.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yes. That was Skyrim for me.
Ian Hecox
I mean, also, I don't miss those days because that's extremely irresponsible.
Courtney Miller
No, it's great when you're young or like, do it. I remember back when I was working at the pharmacy, I would be. It was kind of part time, but as long as I had my job, got my paycheck, I'd work a few hours early in the day, I'd come home, the rest of the day was and night were dedicated to my Xbox.
Damien Haas
There's so many worse forms for your depression to take. Let's just let people do that one.
Courtney Miller
Escapism at its finest.
Damien Haas
It's great. You can Minimal works.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, that's true.
Damien Haas
I remember when I had my first ever, like, bachelor pad in Los Angeles. It was right after Shane and I did our Disney show. And it was, you know, I had a little money in the bank because of that. And I didn't have like a job job right away because I was like, I want to get back to acting. I'm going to be auditioning. I need to be available. I'm in a position to do that. Great. So I let myself have that for a while. But it was also right when Skyrim came out and I had never played an Elder Scrolls game and I was like, let's just try this out. So, first ever apartment by myself.
Courtney Miller
Oh, God.
Damien Haas
There was like, I would stock up on food. I had laundry in my room. Like, I didn't need to go anywhere for anything. I would go days without talking to people.
Courtney Miller
Hello, isolation.
Damien Haas
I'm beaming right now. Look at this smile.
Courtney Miller
Oh my God.
Ian Hecox
Just Skyrim for days without talking to anybody.
Damien Haas
That was great. I mean, I think I'd say like, pinto beans please, Ed Chipotle. But like, that was about it.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Damien Haas
Yeah, it was great.
Ian Hecox
Oh, man, that's intense.
Damien Haas
It was awesome.
Ryan Seacrest
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Damien Haas
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Ian Hecox
I think I might have done it with, like, Fallout. The one. The one. For some reason, the one game that I remember like, being like, oh, it's Sunrise. I was playing that. The campaign of Battlefield Bad Company might have been the first or the second one. Those campaigns were so much fun.
Courtney Miller
I've never seen or played any campaign from, like, Battlefield or Call of Duty. Like, none of those.
Ian Hecox
Oh, man. Modern Warfare. The first Modern Warfare's campaign. So, Liddy.
Damien Haas
Really?
Ian Hecox
So, Liddy.
Damien Haas
Shooter games have never been my thing so much, but I can respect those who like them.
Ian Hecox
The. Well, but then the thing with, like, Battlefield Bad Company was like, the. The campaign was like, comedic.
Damien Haas
Mmm.
Ian Hecox
It was like a weird, like, kind of like snarky comedic, nice, interesting war game.
Damien Haas
It was the one that takes place in Vietnam.
Ian Hecox
No, it was like. I don't. It's like, you know, typical fictional universe kind of thing. But. But it's like you're like the shitty, like, people, like the shitty soldiers.
Damien Haas
You're the bad company.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, exactly. It's like the rejects and they all get, like, sent somewhere and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I just remember, like, just getting sucked into that campaign being like, okay, I'll just play one more. Just play a little bit more. And then just Sunrise.
Courtney Miller
I was like, oh, I think Halo 3, me and my little brothers played the campaign co op until sunrise.
Damien Haas
That's so cool.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Halo 3 is kind of like the campaign is kind of a fever dream for me because I feel like I just kind of like blasted through it because I felt like the. Yeah, the compulsion that I just had to, like, finish out the campaign.
Courtney Miller
I had to finish the fight, dude. I was. I still feel committed to Halo, like the story and like that. That whole, like, game series is incredible. Halo 2, I think, was the best one, though. Halo 4 made me cry.
Damien Haas
Wow.
Courtney Miller
Halo 2 was so cool that, like, that was the first time where you could become the arbiter. Right? Yeah, that one, like, that was so cool. Such a cool experience. Like, I'll remember that forever.
Damien Haas
Should I go back and play the remastered version? I missed out on 100%.
Courtney Miller
I was never talked about trying to do that for smash games.
Damien Haas
We did.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
But we were like, I mean, let's just do it. You know what? Locked in right now. Let's not ask anybody else. Sarah. Matt. Sorry to tell you we're doing it.
Ian Hecox
I feel like it would kind of hold up, but I. But then also, like, so many things have been Done better since then.
Courtney Miller
What I love about in the remastered, there's a button that you can push and you can like, see what it looked like in the old version. Yeah, the touch of a button. It'll go doo doo, doo, doo. You see the old versus the new.
Damien Haas
Well, because the same company made Destiny, so I feel like I really enjoyed Destiny too. So it's like, why? You know, sometimes we build on things and we remember them more fondly than.
Ian Hecox
It's probably not as fast paced like Halo. Probably not as fast paced as Destiny, but it's a great game.
Courtney Miller
The characters are very lovely stories, fun. I wonder how many of our viewers or listeners right now don't play video games that much and are like, what are they freaking talking about?
Damien Haas
Well, we started with vacuums. Yeah. We're gonna alienate someone somewhere.
Ian Hecox
So what. What was like a really, really fun thing you guys did over the break then? What's the worst thing you did over the break?
Courtney Miller
Well, I was sick as a bitch.
Ian Hecox
Uh huh.
Courtney Miller
I watched. Oh my gosh, I watched so many good Christmas movies this year. Like we brought in the good ones like Family Jewel, the Holiday with Jack Black. Like those two. So good.
Ian Hecox
But what about good movies?
Courtney Miller
Come on, the holiday's really good.
Damien Haas
I saw White Christmas for the first time.
Courtney Miller
White Christmas? Which one's that?
Damien Haas
It's the. Oh, come on. God, I hate copyright stuff. So you don't understand how, like, it's frustrating.
Courtney Miller
Well, no, because the music people are worried that instead of going to itunes and listening to White Christmas, they're gonna come to this podcast and listen to you sing it while they're working out.
Damien Haas
You know, Sorry, Bing Crosby, Damian at 8:30 in the morning singing under his breath. Totally outdoes you.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Damien Haas
Anyway, it's the movie where they try to go to Vermont and. And see the snow and then there's no snow. And no one's at the lodge either.
Ian Hecox
Is this old? Is this.
Damien Haas
Yeah, it's old.
Ian Hecox
Okay.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, yeah, it's one of the classics.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
You know, It's a Wonderful Life. I watched that for the first time, like, as an adult.
Ian Hecox
One of my dad's favorite movies.
Courtney Miller
Incredible. It's a wonderful movie.
Damien Haas
I've seen the first half.
Courtney Miller
Had. He had me in the first half. Not gonna lie.
Ian Hecox
Good meme. Ref.
Courtney Miller
So what else? Huh? What else?
Damien Haas
What else?
Ian Hecox
What was. What was. What was the most notable thing from your. From your vacation?
Courtney Miller
Well, that cool thing you did wasn't technically during break, was it? But you.
Damien Haas
I mean, we came back for two days. Oh, thank You? Yeah. So I did a. I did a twitch stream. I decided I, like, woke up and I was, like, actually feeling kind of sick and I was gonna cancel that morning, but I was like. I saw a tweet about the Australia stuff, and it was like, here's all the places you can donate. And I was like, I kind of want to do a charity stream. So I did my usual stream, but made it for charity. And, like, all I did was organize it, but the community, like, showed up nice. Raised a hoop ton of money. How much for $4,014. Thank you. So I donated to Wires, which is like an animal rescue, because the animals have been so. So displaced or killed. It is just absolutely awful. And then the second half went to Red Cross.
Courtney Miller
How long did you stream for?
Damien Haas
That was two and a half hours.
Courtney Miller
Because I was only that much in two hours. That's incredible. Gaming for only a couple hours because people do charity streams and they're on for, like, 12, 24 hours.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And for that small amount of time to raise that much, like, with your own community alone, like, that's really.
Damien Haas
People were really flipping cool.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. I didn't get to tune in, but, like, I applaud you.
Damien Haas
Thank you very much.
Courtney Miller
Like, it's crazy how long it took for people to. I don't know how it took so long for me to find out about the fires, personally, because there's so much.
Damien Haas
Going on in the world. Like, you can't know about everything.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And I think is that.
Ian Hecox
I mean, the fire, you know, Australia has been dealing with fires forever, but I think, you know, this is the first time that it became so massive. And also, you know, smoke's blowing into the city. A lot more people are being aware of it, posting on social media. You know, same thing with, like, the Amazon fires. You know, it's like everyone's. Everyone's just more aware of it because technology is so much more available now, but also it's getting worse.
Damien Haas
It's so sad, though.
Courtney Miller
Have you ever been to Australia?
Damien Haas
No. I would love to.
Courtney Miller
Have you been.
Ian Hecox
You've been to. And because I've been there, I have to now say. Say it like they say it. Melbourne. Yeah, Melbourne. And it's a beautiful city. I love it. My dad, I see myself living there.
Courtney Miller
I don't know if it was Melbourne, but my dad went to Australia for two years.
Ian Hecox
Whoa.
Courtney Miller
To serve him serve a mission. I think he did secretly, like, sneak away and surf, I think so. I think that's what he told me. He was a rascal during his mission.
Ian Hecox
But he was a bad Mormon. Not like a bad Mormon getting off.
Courtney Miller
His bike and then breaking laws. He was making lies. He may have broken a couple rules, but, like, you know, he was just trying to have fun, like, so he would do things like go surfing, like.
Damien Haas
Secretly or, like, ride in a kangaroo's pouch.
Ian Hecox
There's definitely. There's definitely worse places you could serve your mission.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. That's so crazy. Is pretty. Like, people, like. There's. There's actually this really cool franchise of a bunch of movies that are made by, like, a Mormon production company. And it's, like, about people in the Mormon Church. There's, like, their comedies, rom coms. Actually. I kind of want to, like, sit you guys down and have you watch a couple because they're very entertaining.
Ian Hecox
Are you gonna be indoctrinated?
Courtney Miller
No, but it's, like. It's very interesting to see, like, that specific of a type of a movie, you know, about, like, a Mormon missionary who thought he was gonna go somewhere incredible and they sent him to Boise, Idaho.
Damien Haas
Interesting.
Ian Hecox
We should watch Book of Mormon.
Courtney Miller
No.
Ian Hecox
Still. Really?
Courtney Miller
Have you not seen that play?
Damien Haas
I haven't either.
Courtney Miller
I have. That was my first and only Broadway play I've ever seen. It was cool. I think since it was my first play ever. It was like a different feel. Like, I haven't even seen Wicked or anything. So it was like. It's theatrical and you're like, okay. The acting is interesting, but it's very raunchy and it's funny. I remember laughing. And they have a song. They're basically saying fuck you in an African language. And they are flipping everyone off except for the middle fingers are backwards. So. So it's not too offensive to the audience.
Damien Haas
Interesting.
Ian Hecox
I know that there is the one because I've heard one song from there, and it's all about how they.
Courtney Miller
That's the fuck you or go fuck yourself.
Ian Hecox
The one I saw was, like, they're. They're talking about how they. I want to say it was something about, like, they. They wanted to, like, fuck a baby or something.
Courtney Miller
No.
Damien Haas
What's up?
Courtney Miller
That's not in there.
Damien Haas
I don't feel like. I feel like I would have heard about that.
Courtney Miller
Oh, wait, I can't sing these. What am I doing?
Damien Haas
You should sing White Christmas. Wait, can we get a list of so that are just over 100 years old and are therefore public domain? We gotta sing something.
Courtney Miller
It's the. Now that's what I call music. One for CD. That one has all the. All the 100 year old songs.
Ian Hecox
So is anyone gonna ask me what my.
Damien Haas
What was your. What was your break?
Courtney Miller
Ian. Ian, like, what was like the coolest like, thing you did?
Damien Haas
Let's host a break.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, like what did you tell us?
Damien Haas
We'd love to know.
Courtney Miller
Tell us.
Damien Haas
Tell us about it.
Ian Hecox
Okay, so I went up. I went up to the mountains and hung out up in the mountains with my family.
Courtney Miller
You skied?
Ian Hecox
Family, friends. I did do some cross country skiing.
Damien Haas
He was getting there.
Courtney Miller
Sorry. I'm like my dad like that.
Ian Hecox
But I'm not to the best part. But I'm not to the best part yet. That's not the best part. So then after all that, then I drove straight back home. It was about a nine hour drive. And then the next, the next morning. The next morning I wake up and I got some ball pain.
Damien Haas
Like a ball pain hammer.
Ian Hecox
Like. Like my ball kind of hurts. I feel like I can only look at you for this part, Damien.
Damien Haas
Yeah, I was like looking over my shoulder like that. I'm like. Prolonged eye contact. Sure.
Ian Hecox
So it's like. That's not right.
Damien Haas
Ball pain.
Ian Hecox
So I went to the ER and I got a ball ultrasound.
Courtney Miller
Ultrasound?
Damien Haas
Yeah, ultrasound.
Ian Hecox
And I told, I told my friend about it and they're like. And they're like, by the way, like, don't be afraid if like, you know, while they're doing it, something happens. Like.
Damien Haas
Like I can't think of a less. An environment less conducive to that.
Ian Hecox
That's what I was thinking. I didn't.
Damien Haas
Okay. But I was like, it's cold and you're uncomfortable and everything. There's a loud droning noise and you're.
Ian Hecox
Like, but it's cold. That's. That's the thing. Because, like. And actually, okay, this is. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna go on a little rant about how even the medical practice is, you know, sexist. All right.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, it is.
Ian Hecox
Because. Because look, so ultrasound, like what they do, it's. It's like this little like, it's this little like handheld device. And you know, you know, everyone knows it for like, you know, looking at babies in, in there, in. In the, in the mommy's belly and to, you know, in order to like use the machine, they put like this lube on, on your belly and then they like kind of, you know, move the device all around and look at the baby. So when they do it for your balls, the lube is warm.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, it's always warm. It's. It's like how it is, but it's.
Ian Hecox
Not always warm for when they're looking at the baby.
Courtney Miller
I've heard that it's warm.
Ian Hecox
Oh, really?
Courtney Miller
I've heard that. That the chemical, like, that's just how kind of it is it? Just the makeup of it makes it warm.
Ian Hecox
Okay.
Courtney Miller
I could be wrong.
Ian Hecox
Finner. D'you know about this? Do you know? Yeah, from what I understand. And when I've been in the rooms getting the ultrasound with my wife, it's not cold. Oh, yeah. All right, well, it's just sitting around. Okay. It's sitting at room temperature. Oh, no, this is warm.
Damien Haas
I mean, you thinking you're getting special treatment is the sexist. I'm just saying.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, but keep going.
Ian Hecox
Okay, so.
Courtney Miller
No, no.
Ian Hecox
So, yeah, no, it was. Yeah, I got a ball ultrasound. Everything's fine.
Damien Haas
Okay.
Ian Hecox
Everything's fine. But I was a little worried maybe.
Courtney Miller
You, like, hit yourself in your sleep.
Ian Hecox
I thought. Well, I think it was.
Courtney Miller
I don't know, maybe you slept on it weird.
Damien Haas
Well, I used to be paranoid that it would just sort of twist, rotate around.
Ian Hecox
Well, that and it's called torsion and that and it can happen, Right. And if you don't get it taken care of in, like, a day, you could, like, straight up lose it.
Damien Haas
Right.
Ian Hecox
So. So I was like. I was feeling a little. I was feeling a ball pain. I was like, oh, that's not right. So. So, yeah, I went there because, you know, it doesn't necessarily. It can be excruciating and it can be like, just like a little bit of pain. So, yeah, if. If. If any of your organs are in slight pain and it's not normal, go to the hospital.
Courtney Miller
That's probably what you should do.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I grew up, my family, it was like, we never went to the hospital. We just, like, would stick it out. Whatever pain or whatever weird issue I felt, it was like, it'll go away eventually. No, no medicine. Like, maybe some Advil, but, like, no vaporub.
Damien Haas
Vaporub fixes everything.
Ian Hecox
No Tussin.
Courtney Miller
I didn't have extensive, like, medicine around. I mean, we had, like, when we were, like, really sick, we had, like, the chewables or the liquid stuff. Yeah, but, like, when it was like, oh, I have this crazy pain in my rib cage. Well, probably be fine, and it just goes away.
Ian Hecox
Like, did you. And to bring it back to the. The theme of this episode, did you. Were you guys vaccinated?
Courtney Miller
I was not vaccinated until I was an early teenager.
Ian Hecox
Whoa.
Courtney Miller
I know. I think, well, maybe I was like, 10 or 11.
Ian Hecox
Oh, yeah.
Damien Haas
Just to clarify, you're talking about like all the vaccines. Like.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, I wasn't vaccinated until I was like 11.
Ian Hecox
Whoa.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. But I got, I'm all up to date now.
Damien Haas
I'm all, you know, don't even try to get her polio.
Courtney Miller
I survived.
Damien Haas
You can't get it.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah. Get out of here. Polio, you fuck face.
Damien Haas
Typhoid. Get out of here.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Measles. What are you gonna do? Measles. Better. Better.
Damien Haas
Scooch.
Ian Hecox
Scooch outta here.
Damien Haas
Scooch.
Courtney Miller
I kind of am grateful for it because I'm like. It's not like I'm a hypochondriac that's like constantly medicating like crazy or like worried that something's wrong with me at all times. I'm usually I'm like the opposite a lot of times where I'm like, well.
Damien Haas
There'S a middle ground. I think you're talking about the medicine.
Courtney Miller
Stuff regarding physical, Physical ailments.
Damien Haas
Yeah. Not. Not vaccine necessarily, right?
Courtney Miller
Oh no. Well, I mean, is like any. I mean obviously I get, I get my vaccines and like.
Damien Haas
Right?
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I mean I forgot to get my flu shot, like, whatever. But like when it comes to like just when I'm feeling a pain in my. And I'm like, oh, chest pain. That's weird. Whatever.
Damien Haas
There's merit to that for sure.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Because I don't like going. I don't even have like a regular doctor. Like I've gone to urgent care or I went to a pediatrician until I was like 16. How to have fun anytime, anywhere.
Ian Hecox
Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it.
Courtney Miller
Step two, collect your welcome bonus.
Ian Hecox
Come to papa.
Damien Haas
Welcome bonus.
Courtney Miller
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Damien Haas
That's a lot of games, all for free.
Courtney Miller
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Damien Haas
Woo hoo.
Courtney Miller
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Damien Haas
Where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. I used to have medical problems a lot and I've gotten better in recent years, which is awesome and I'm very grateful for it. But I used to go to the doctor all the time because of that, so that would always be my go to. So there was a time in my life where I would like get a lung infection or something and then I'd get like a steroid shot to clear it up and then another lung infection a month later and then a steroid shot and it became this cycle where like my immune system really didn't have the ability to fight off anything on its own.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Steroid shots mess you up.
Damien Haas
Steroid shots, I'm saying, typically will mess you up. You're only supposed to get so many exact. And I got so many now.
Ian Hecox
I'd say also, would you prefer to just die of pneumonia?
Damien Haas
No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, I'm saying there's a balance. Yeah. Where I got them all the time and therefore I was constantly sick. And now that I don't do that as much, if I ever really need it, I can go get that and it will have a true effect. But I have like been overall healthier, letting myself fight off the little stuff on my own, which has been interesting.
Courtney Miller
Steroid shots, I actually am a fan of those because I had a couple times where I would get really sick and then I. The sick part would be gone. I'd be healthy, but for some reason my lymph nodes were hard as rocks and so painful that I couldn't swallow and I was just crying. And so I would have to get a steroid shot in the old butt cheek. And they'd go away like an hour.
Damien Haas
Like a little bit of a bump, like a sort of harder bump of like scar tissue where like you could tell. Oh, I got plenty of those. But there was one dude who I knew it was his first day acting as, acting as a nurse to like do this. And I was like, look, it's got to be everyone's first day. Sometimes someone's got to be the first patient. I get it. I'm sure he's just fine. And then it was clearly in kind of the wrong spot and it hurt like a mother goose. And it was just like a golf ball sized bubble for the longest time. Now it's a less of a bump. But we're going on like a year and a half, two years and I've still got like the kabump there. And so I was just like.
Courtney Miller
I think I had the opposite experience where I had a lady who's clearly done many because she. It was weird because I remember I was getting it. She's like about to put it on top of my butt cheek. It's like kind of near the hip almost. And she's like, ah, you have no butt. And I was like, what? And she's like, ah, she's like pinching the, the hip skin like as if she was having a Hard time finding ass. And I was really. I was like, what? Never in my life have I been told this. But it's funny because you go in, I'm like, I'm just in so much pain. And they, like, the doctors look at each other and they're like, oh, she's trying to get the hard stuff. And I was like, yeah, I just want a steroid shot. They're like, all right, Ben. Over.
Damien Haas
Yeah, I have difficulty with that specifically because I have a high tolerance for any sort of, like, hospital narcotic thing. So the few times I've been in the hospital, like, for actual pain stuff, like waiting to be, like, emergency operated on, I'd be like, hi, you're gonna wanna give me morphine. And that's not gonna be enough. Just letting you know. And they're like, okay, we'll give it a shot. Then they give me morphine. I'm like, have you done it yet? And they're like, yeah, we gave you morphine an hour ago. I'm like, huh? And so it always seems like I'm the guy that's just trying. But, no, they have to. They have to give me the crazy stuff.
Courtney Miller
That sucks.
Damien Haas
It does. Cause there's no way to sound honest about it.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, it's tough. Like, I had. I have multiple family members who have been paramedics or an emt, and like, they deal with people. My sister's an emt, and people straight up just try and climb into the back of her ambulance just to get stuff. She's, like, in the driver's seat or passenger seat, she's like, what the. And, like, people are after it. It sucks. It sucks.
Damien Haas
It's sad.
Courtney Miller
But, yeah, steroid shots, they can be a lifesaver. But, yeah, you can only get so many. Have you ever had one? A shot in your butt?
Ian Hecox
I've never been stuck in the butt. Really? Yeah.
Damien Haas
Never been stuck in the butt.
Ian Hecox
No one ever stabbed me in the butt with no shot. Really? I don't think so. I mean, maybe as a kid. Maybe. I don't know.
Courtney Miller
It's not. Like I said, it's not too far in your butt. It's, like, literally, like, upper chee, almost near, like, the.
Damien Haas
I find the bump.
Ian Hecox
All I know is that they would not tell me that I have no butt.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, well, that's. I was shocked because, like, even then, like, I think I was still, like, a couple years out of track, and, like, I was like, yeah, I've.
Ian Hecox
I've got the glutes.
Courtney Miller
I've got, like, Miller's got ass.
Damien Haas
And like on the family crest. Look, just above the fireplace.
Ian Hecox
Just the cheeks.
Courtney Miller
The family crest.
Damien Haas
Damn it, Cornera. Miller. And Miller's got ass.
Ian Hecox
Go to your room.
Courtney Miller
Well, I'm sorry. You had the. The. The ball pin, the.
Damien Haas
The ball pen, the ball hammer, the ball.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, it was weird, man. That was weird.
Damien Haas
Did they ever have any conclusion of what it was or you just.
Ian Hecox
Well, he. So, yeah, the doctor was like, well, you know, it's possible it like, it like half torst and then went back and that's enough to cause maybe, you.
Damien Haas
Know, pain for then you're just home alone thinking like, okay, I know it twisted. Which direction do I try to fix this?
Ian Hecox
I don't think you. You can't really fix it yourself. Yes, Ryan, first off, this is the ultimate save it for the pod. Because you told no one before this. Really impressive.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Wow.
Ian Hecox
This is the best story you've ever had.
Courtney Miller
I thought it was a bit.
Ian Hecox
Me too. And then also, what were you doing before the ball pain?
Courtney Miller
What caused it?
Damien Haas
Well.
Ian Hecox
Cause what I was thinking is that maybe it was because I took like a nine hour drive back home.
Courtney Miller
Oh, like sitting on it.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
You didn't take breaks? No, Ian.
Ian Hecox
I go, I got a heart.
Damien Haas
He's got a Porsche. So it's sort of got like a built in, like catheter toilet situation when you're.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah.
Courtney Miller
Even sitting in an office, like, you gotta stand up every now and again. I mean, like, that's exactly why I.
Ian Hecox
Think I stopped twice to pee pee. I stopped once to once to pee pee and eat.
Courtney Miller
Eat. What'd you eat?
Damien Haas
Pee pee.
Ian Hecox
Oh, pee pee. It's a closed loop system.
Courtney Miller
No, I do get.
Ian Hecox
I stopped because, you know, it's always garbage when you're like, yeah, I love road trip food.
Damien Haas
Cracker Barrel.
Ian Hecox
I got Cracker Barrel.
Damien Haas
What was it?
Courtney Miller
Jack in the Box.
Damien Haas
Old candy.
Ian Hecox
It might have been Jack in the Box.
Courtney Miller
Are you serious?
Ian Hecox
Yeah. For me.
Damien Haas
Do you think?
Courtney Miller
Yes, I was.
Ian Hecox
It was Jack in the Box. I don't claim that it was Jack in the Box because I got the chicken strips and they were like, would you want regular fries or curly? I was like, oh, curly.
Damien Haas
Has anyone ordered the regular from Jack in the Box when given the option?
Courtney Miller
Did you actually say it like that?
Ian Hecox
I was like. I was like, ooh, curly.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
Ian pulls up in a Porsche and is just like, oh, curly, curly.
Ian Hecox
I will take it fancy style.
Courtney Miller
But that was drive through, huh?
Ian Hecox
No, I stopped.
Courtney Miller
Okay, good. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Because I had to go pee, pee, pee. I Don't. I've never peed in a bottle anyway.
Damien Haas
I have. I have. Yeah. And I'm pee shy too, so it sucked.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Why would you do that?
Damien Haas
I was driving. I used to work in Atlanta at this improv theater, and I did ever since I was like 14, but I was like, at this point driving myself. So I was coming home from that. And there was this massive, massive accident on the freeway from my exit. And the cars were just completely stopped. Once I drove by, I saw it was just like literal scraps of metal that used to be a car. It was awful. But I had to pee so bad and there was nowhere to do it. Absolutely no escaping that situation. So I found a Gatorade bottle and I was like, yeah, you really have.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I've. I've came close to pulling over on the side of the road and opening up the side doors and peeing between the doors. It's my own little stall, but I've never had to do that. Oh, no. Maybe as a kid I did.
Courtney Miller
But anyway, that gave me the worst flashbacks because I had an ex that he would just do it.
Ian Hecox
Oh. And he would leave it in the car.
Courtney Miller
There would be four pee bottles in his car.
Damien Haas
Dude.
Ian Hecox
So frickin gross.
Courtney Miller
Why did I date this person?
Damien Haas
I don't know.
Ian Hecox
We don't know. We don't know, Courtney.
Courtney Miller
We don't know. And he had finally got a new car and then he stopp. But like, I dealt with and I would like, be like, dude, throw these away. Do not keep these in your car. Old. Maybe he was days old, weeks old. He would just do it. And like, they would be on the floor. Like I'm supposed to get in the passenger seat and there's like four bottles. And I was like, this is this. And like, it's like, that's how you know this girl's self esteem was low if she was tolerating. Like that is it, girls, deal breaker number one.
Damien Haas
Yeah. Girls, if your man is peeing in bottles, that's the first sign.
Courtney Miller
Get out of there. Whoever you are. If your significant other is collecting pee bottles in their car, might not want to date them.
Ian Hecox
Or maybe you're on an episode of Hoarders and you don't know it. Yeah.
Damien Haas
Unless it's someone else's pee and they're collecting it to sell to people, to pass for drugs tests, because that's an entrepreneur and that's a ground floor you want to get in on.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. So on this road trip back, I got some jack in the backs.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Glad you didn't have to pee in a bottle.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, me too. Thank God. But I also wasn't drinking a lot of water because I know it's bad. Cause I just wanna like, just do a straight shot. So I don't drink a lot of water while I'm on like a long road trip. That way I can just go, I think about into like mile 500. I was getting tired and I was like starting to like, my eyes get kinda like shaky like when I start like dozing off. I was like, ooh, I can't do this. Cause I've semi dozed off at the wheel before and I've like basically sworn to never do that again. So I started feeling all tired. I was like, no, it's honestly not worth trying to like push myself. So I pulled over at like a random stop. Like just pulled in a parking lot and took like a 30 minute nap.
Damien Haas
That's great.
Ian Hecox
And felt like a million times better.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And then I. And then, and then I got dinner. Any guesses? Courtney?
Damien Haas
Sonic Burke?
Ian Hecox
No.
Courtney Miller
Jackbox again?
Ian Hecox
No. Any more guesses?
Courtney Miller
Carl's Genuine. I think you got pizza.
Ian Hecox
Nope. All right.
Courtney Miller
Dang it.
Ian Hecox
It was McDonald's.
Courtney Miller
Oh, wow. Wow. So you kept the road trip roll going.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, but I needed caffeine as well, so I was like, McDonald's. I know they got coffee.
Courtney Miller
McCafe.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I got the McCafe.
Damien Haas
McCafe is actually not so bad.
Ian Hecox
And I got a cheeseburger and a side salad because I was like. I was like, I need to eat.
Damien Haas
Something healthy and something easy to eat in the car on a trip. No, no, no.
Ian Hecox
I sat. I sat in the McDonald's.
Damien Haas
I didn't know that.
Ian Hecox
I know.
Courtney Miller
I would like to see that. You sitting by yourself at a McDonald's.
Ian Hecox
It's a little sad.
Courtney Miller
No, it's cute though.
Ian Hecox
It was just like me and a bunch of like Chinese tourists.
Courtney Miller
Love that. Love that for you.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, it was. It was also in the area where like they have like all the cow feed lots, so the whole town smells like cow shit.
Courtney Miller
Love that.
Ian Hecox
And it's so bad that like the. All the. All the fast food restaurants around there have these fans above the doors that when you open the door it just blows. So they keep the smell out.
Damien Haas
Interesting.
Courtney Miller
I hate those.
Damien Haas
Makes sense.
Courtney Miller
And it's also a good bacteria thing too. I think this probably maybe was someone with their own speculation of why those were there. Being like. Yeah, when gross dirty people come in, it just blows off all the.
Damien Haas
I feel like that doesn't quite work.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, it doesn't work.
Courtney Miller
It's a car wash. Where are you going?
Damien Haas
Please step into sanitation, sir. All right, you're cleared.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, pass through. But that makes sense that nine hours of sitting on your ass is gonna hurt your crotch a little bit.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I think that's honestly what it was. I don't know.
Courtney Miller
Cars are not the most, like, as much as they try. Like, it doesn't seem like a seat of a car is ever gonna be comfortable like that.
Damien Haas
Isn't that crazy? We're never comfortable. Humans are not built to be comfortable. Like, we can't lay down on the grass and be like, this is perfect. Like, what are we supposed to do?
Courtney Miller
Well, we've conditioned ourselves to be that way. We've gotten so used. Used to a certain type of way of living. Like. Cause I know, like, doesn't Shane said that he's like, straight up just falling asleep on his back on the floor.
Ian Hecox
I believe it.
Damien Haas
But that's more comfortable to me than a bed almost. Sometimes I do that.
Ian Hecox
He's cushioned by all his muscle.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. He has his own mattress.
Damien Haas
All that fluffy fluff muscle.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. I can't do that. Maybe once, like, as a kid, I remember I used to be able to fall asleep on the skinny metal bleacher of, like, a high school during track meet. I would be able to fall asleep like that with, like, a sweatshirt on my face.
Damien Haas
I mean, I used to fall asleep anywhere.
Ian Hecox
It's no wonder that nothing. Nothing's comfortable. Because then this is a super, like, high thought, even though I'm not high. But gravity is just a force that's just continuously pulling us sleep. Yeah. It's like if somebody were to just be consistently pushing you towards a direction. We're getting consistently sucked downwards. Yeah, that's why.
Courtney Miller
Oh, did you say sucked downwards or pushed downwards words?
Ian Hecox
I'd say sucked.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
We're getting sucked just constantly. And it never ends. We're always getting just pulled down.
Damien Haas
We're also being pulled by every other body in the universe too. In their directions.
Courtney Miller
Emotionally.
Damien Haas
No, just, like, lightly. But I mean, you. Technically, it exerts its force on you as well.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I mean, like. Yeah.
Damien Haas
Being pulled up and pulled down and you're standing up, so you're pushing against gravity. Try it. Try it. I dare you.
Courtney Miller
I just pushed.
Damien Haas
Dare you try now. You pushed it back. No, it's just normal.
Ian Hecox
And that's why we always look so freaking terrible when we get older, because gravity's winning. Pulling our skin down.
Damien Haas
That's why if you ever see an old person who spent half their life walking on their hands, they just look like a normal ass. Dude.
Courtney Miller
The gravity is just looking at old ladies and they're like, I want your boobs.
Damien Haas
Give me your boobs.
Ian Hecox
Give me your boobs. The earth demands boobs and down and balls. Because like old men get like the saggy balls.
Courtney Miller
Why not the pee pee?
Damien Haas
Why does Earth wants to screw you over somehow?
Ian Hecox
Courtney Little. No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't tell her. I shouldn't tell her the pee pee.
Damien Haas
Tell her. We just.
Ian Hecox
No, that. We just always keep it up, right, guys?
Courtney Miller
Stay hard.
Ian Hecox
That's why. That's why it doesn't get dragged down like the balls do. Because we always keep it up. Up.
Courtney Miller
Weirdo.
Ian Hecox
Into our waistband.
Courtney Miller
Penis bra. Keep it flipped.
Ian Hecox
We all do that, right?
Damien Haas
Yes. And okay, I'm trying my best.
Ryan Seacrest
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Damien Haas
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Courtney Miller
Wow. We've talked a lot about the male genitalia today.
Ian Hecox
It's important. I think there's this stigma in society. We can't talk about the male balls.
Courtney Miller
As opposed to the female balls.
Ian Hecox
Yes, Women have balls. Balls. This is my TED Talk. Women have balls.
Damien Haas
Vacuums, vaccines, vacations and vaccinas. That's where we're at. And you talked about vacdonald's.
Ian Hecox
You guys all be. So just so you know, you have 20 minutes left.
Damien Haas
Great.
Courtney Miller
All right.
Ian Hecox
And so whatever. What else is on there we should talk about? That would be clickable.
Damien Haas
I mean, Ian's balls fell off as the most clickable video we've ever had. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Ian's balls. Balls. A TED Talk. Ian's balls hurt. That's the title.
Damien Haas
It's a five second clip.
Ian Hecox
Ian's balls sent him to the hospital.
Courtney Miller
I got ball pain. And I got ball pain.
Ian Hecox
You know, on the. On the subject of balls.
Courtney Miller
No.
Ian Hecox
Sofia Nygard got married.
Courtney Miller
Yes.
Ian Hecox
She made like a 30 minute long marriage video, which is something that we've seen people do. A lot of YouTubers do. They do the kind of, like, big wedding video.
Courtney Miller
When I hear wedding video, my brain just goes to the LeBrant, like 40 million view wedding video that is just like. I feel like it was shot and edited by the people who shot and edited Twilight. Like, that's. That was the level of cinematography and edits and effects. There is effects in that video. You guys didn't watch the wedding video, which is.
Ian Hecox
I did not.
Damien Haas
That's not my usual cup of tea.
Courtney Miller
I can give you a quick lowdown. So it wasn't a quick. I mean, it wasn't a typical wedding video. She kept it. She kept it in the vein of her brand and how she does videos, which is lots of voiceover and, like, her breaking down how everything was done. She also wasn't super traditional with the dresses. Like, I don't know her husband's name. I feel bad that I don't. After watching literally them get married, they saw each other. Like, he was with her in the process of getting her dresses custom made. And so she was showing the whole process of everything. They picked, like, very much like, Pinterest Y. Like, showing everything as. As it was getting designed and made. And then she showed, like, the entire progress of setting up the wedding and getting ready for the first part. Like, I felt. I actually did feel, like, some moments of feeling emotional because, like, she's not. She's not like, super emotionally vulnerable on her channel often. It's very. Like, I did this thing and this is how it was executed and this is how it came out. So, like, there are moments, like, where she, like, cries and like. And then. And then her husband cr. And then, like, she goes through the whole wedding. And it's. A lot of. You don't. It's not like the lebrant one at all because she and her husband are talking through it all.
Ian Hecox
It doesn't feel overly produced. It's her brain.
Courtney Miller
Well, it is very produced, but it is within her vein of her style. Exactly. Then there'll be moments where she does show a little bit. There's obviously copyrighted music stuff that she can't. She had to work around. And yeah, it was a beautiful wedding. Some YouTubers were there in the audience at the tables. At first I was like, okay, I see what she's doing. And I felt very emotionally into it for the first time. Cause I don't often or ever get maternal instincts or maternal needs or wedding marriage needs at all. That is so weird to me. Or like, it's just something I've never felt it's a very foreign feeling. So that was my first time being like, oh, I want a wedding. Like, it was. And I was like, ugh. Why did I feel that?
Damien Haas
It's the marriage industrial complex.
Courtney Miller
It's very rare. Yeah. Yes.
Damien Haas
They got you.
Courtney Miller
But, like, at the same time, it's. I get it. It's a weird thing. Like, I don't know, but. And then the more it carried out and, like, the more it was so narrated and produced and it. There was a point, like, even if she were to ask me to my face, like, how I felt about her video, it's like, I understand your style and I understand, like, why you went about it the way you did. I just don't know if I would do the same thing. It very much felt like, yes, this is also.
Ian Hecox
If you were to do your own wedding.
Courtney Miller
It's like she. I think there was two bullet points of this wedding. It was like, yes, this is an incredible moment for me, and it's also an incredible opportunity for some awesome content. I think it was. There was a lot of pluses for it, and I don't think. I don't think she was any less genuine in it. Like, it's obviously, like, they love each other and they're crying and they're adorable. I've watched a lot of her videos, like, a lot. So, like, seeing them, it's lovely. But, like, it's unfortunate that the way she went about her video made me feel less into it as it carried out more. You know, it was. She was narrating a wedding and, like. Like, it didn't feel like it was actually experiencing it with her. It felt less genuine. It felt more planned and not as authentic.
Damien Haas
Did it feel like she was experiencing it fully, though, or did you get the sense that, like, she was always being mindful of the video while it was being filmed? Like, is her wedding day also about. Interesting?
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to answer your question before you finished asking the question.
Ian Hecox
But it sounds like. It sounds like the video is, like. It sounds like the. The wedding video is a Sofia Nygaard video.
Courtney Miller
Yes.
Ian Hecox
So, I mean, I guess she accomplished what she set out to do.
Courtney Miller
Totally. And she. She was crying a lot in the video. It was, like, very sweet and it was cool to see that side of her. But it was interesting because, like, they obviously filmed the narration. Like, it's literally them sitting on a couch with mics, so you're hearing the VO as well as cutting to them occasionally on this couch. So they're not. They're not as emotionally attached to that experience when they're talking about it. And I think that was what kind of took me out of it a little. It felt like a story, not like real.
Damien Haas
Is there a way people could do something like that and still have it genuine? Or do you think like wedding videos, relationship videos, all those like YouTubey, like we broke up or surprised we've been dating, like, what do you think about those?
Courtney Miller
Cause then you go to the lebrant one and like I don't. Not knowing them and not watching their content, it purely felt like a money maker to me. Even though they're crying and they obviously love each other because there's two sides. That was a fully cinematic. This was my experience. And then there was like, hey, this is me and this is how I got married. Like, I don't know, I feel so weird.
Ian Hecox
Would you ever.
Courtney Miller
Strange world.
Ian Hecox
Would you ever post? I mean, cuz a lot of people get like wedding videos, do wedding videos. Like there's a lot of people, they hire wedding photographers, wedding videographers. Would you ever put together a wedding video and post it online?
Damien Haas
Well, or like I'll. I'll expand that question because none of us are in like marriage mode right now. Yeah, I'm like, so would you for.
Ian Hecox
Yourself, I'm gonna go on 90 Day Fiance.
Damien Haas
But would you do like, I don't know, if you were in a relationship, would you do all those like relationshipy videos? Like, yeah, three days reading my boyfriend's thoughts, like that or whatever.
Courtney Miller
Let's. I do want to talk about that. It's interesting because in this past year I feel like I've gotten a lot more private with. There's been some events in my life that have caused me to kind of separate from the audience a little bit. Doesn't feel great. I needed some distance for a bit and I have learned to appreciate privacy and relationships is just seeing like, okay, so Anthony recently announced his relationship with glam and gore. And I'm like, you could tell how liberating that was for him. And I'm like, I'm so glad you're so happy. It's so cool to know that you're so happy. And like, I know Anthony personally, so it is kind of different from like as a viewer or a fan where it's like, I'm like, hey, I'm really glad that my friend is happy. And now I know that he's in a good relationship that makes him feel good. But like as a fan, it's like, I don't know, even on my Facebook. Right. Okay. So you have your Facebook page. And I feel weird knowing that there are photos on Facebook of me and my ex. I delete them whenever I see them because I'm like, this is weird. I don't want to have a collection of the people that I've had in my life like, that. I don't know. It's weird. Like, I wouldn't. Cause, like, you know, Anthony had videos with his previous girlfriend. So it's like, is this now a collection of videos with you and different girlfriends? Like, there are multiple videos of Anthony with multiple girlfriends and very, like, personal, close moments. And it's like, I don't know. I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want to have people being like, well, comparing my relationships, you know, like, that's my business.
Ian Hecox
Yes.
Damien Haas
I'm kind of in the same boat. Because it is interesting being in this space. Especially, like, it becomes a part of, like, it's sort of like what we're talking about with the wedding video. There's the personal life and there's the business life, and this world is fun. YouTube, like, whatever, influencery life, it's fun, but it is also. There are parts of it that is a business. And it's sort of like. Like having a new person be a part of that and synonymous with that is like, that's a big deal that I don't think people really think about fully all the time.
Courtney Miller
And love is, like, scary.
Damien Haas
There's enough pressure.
Courtney Miller
You can be so sure about somebody, and, like, you can be so sure. Like, this is it. Yes. Hell, yeah. I'll put it on the Internet. Like, I'm so sure about this. But then what if two years from now you were totally wrong and then.
Ian Hecox
Well, maybe not wrong, but, I mean, somebody changed.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's true. That is a better way of saying.
Ian Hecox
Somebody starts peeing in their bottles more.
Courtney Miller
Thank you.
Damien Haas
And we're back.
Courtney Miller
I just think. Cause the Internet is forever. Even if you delete a video, 30 people have downloaded it and posted it elsewhere. It's like, I don't know. A relationship is a commitment in a way. Internet is an even bigger commitment if you have the audience that is there watching your life.
Damien Haas
I think it's totally true like, that. Cause like, also, what if. Like, what if you and your significant other get into a fight and then all the comments all day, even though nobody knows about her, like, we haven't seen this person in a minute. Is everything okay? Is everything fine? Is Everything fine? Is everything fine? And it's just like, you're like, man, all of a sudden, that has to be something you're talking about and stuff. It's just, I don't know, relationships are hard enough without being like, hey, do 300,000 people want to dissect every move we make?
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I think it also depends on the amount of weight that you. You put on that as well. I think I've always been like, I've never really made my relationships a secret.
Courtney Miller
You don't have like an analysis.
Ian Hecox
Haven't really made it my focus. Like, yeah, when, when I, when I got together with Pam, I did make like a, an Instagram post, like, professing my love for her, but that's the way that I felt in that moment. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And I get that though, because I know what it feels like to be dating someone and wanting to just brag and shout to the world who you're with and like, how much you adore them. Like, I get it.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And that's the way that I felt at the time, so why not? I mean, and, you know, everything went fine. Everything was fine with her. So I never felt a reason to like, go back and delete posts or anything. And, and everyone was. I mean, I never really had people, I never really had people bother me about my relationship. Or maybe I just never paid attention.
Courtney Miller
I think you also set a good precedent of, like, like, you don't really give people. And this isn't saying, like, I don't know, you keep it just open slash private enough that it's like, people don't feel like they're entitled to have an opinion about something that you aren't really open with.
Ian Hecox
Like, you know, I just don't share. I don't share a whole lot. I mean, like, I don't keep a lot of things a secret, but I also don't share everything in my private life because I think it's important to have that kind of separation. Like, if there's something funny or silly that I did with the person that I'm with, with, then, yeah, whatever, I'll share that. But it's not going to be like, oh my God, like, we just did this thing together. Hahaha, we're couples, couples, couples.
Courtney Miller
Content.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, it's like that. Like, that's. And for other people, that's for myself to enjoy. I'm not gonna be like, oh my God, we love each other. Couples. Picture, picture, picture, picture. Okay, hold on. Wait right there. Let me just caption this real quick. Let Me put a good filter on it. Oh, my God.
Damien Haas
Why is your voice different?
Courtney Miller
Well, here's the thing.
Ian Hecox
That's my Instagram.
Courtney Miller
Maybe we're being the conservative ones, though, you know, because maybe there's some freedom and, like, who cares? I like, life is crazy. And like, Anthony announcing his relationship, it's like, yes, this is me now. This is my relationship now. I'm happy now.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Fuck.
Courtney Miller
I had a good point. That was, like. While you were talking about the Instagram stuff. Dang it. I hate when that happens on podcasts. I had a thing to say. Now I don't.
Ian Hecox
It just gets a little dangerous when you mix personal stuff with business.
Courtney Miller
But I love watching YouTubers that are together, like Safiya and her husband. I enjoy watching them and their dynamic and, like, oh, these cute people who live together and have this life together and do this stuff. Like, I definitely.
Damien Haas
I guess I'm wrong to do it. I just think it's. Is it right for you? Is that your own choice? So I don't think there should be an expectation either way.
Courtney Miller
It's like, I don't like the sweater on me, but I like it on you. It's like that.
Damien Haas
I could never pull off something like that. Oh, but it looks so good on you, Ian.
Courtney Miller
I hate uggs, but you pull them off.
Damien Haas
I love how you wear them.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. I don't know. I think if I were to ever have a relationship that was, like, so apparent in my life that it's like, obviously people are gonna know about it. I don't think I would ever make it a part of my brand. You know, I like.
Ian Hecox
I mean, I. I hope to God my next girlfriend, whatever, is not a, you know, YouTuber, but if it happens, then, you know, so be it. But, I mean, if I could just, you know, find somebody that's just, like, I don't know, a scientist or, you know, a teacher.
Damien Haas
It's like you forgot what other jobs are. Yeah. You're like, I don't know, some kind of bird walker.
Ian Hecox
I don't know. But somebody that's just completely, like, removed from all this other, you know, stuff that we do. So it's not like, you know, my. My personal life can be separate from.
Courtney Miller
You know, that's crazy, because I. I feel like I. I want and need to be dating someone who's, like, in the similar industry of, like, film and movies and stuff.
Damien Haas
Well, I would understand. Then when you're like, I have to go to this premiere. I have to do this thing. You don't have To. To explain why that's important.
Courtney Miller
Dating a zookeeper, I'd be like, that's cool. I can't relate to the problems you're having. Oh, no. The panda stepped on your shoe.
Damien Haas
Well, that would suck. You can't relate to that? No, I'll step on your shoe. You'll see.
Ian Hecox
I'll date a zookeeper. Cause he'd probably, like, pet a lion.
Courtney Miller
Don't you hate to wear pandas that's on your boot?
Ian Hecox
Any zookeepers out there?
Damien Haas
Please hit up Ian.
Courtney Miller
Hit up Ian.
Ian Hecox
Hot eligible zookeepers.
Courtney Miller
Hot zookeeper. Looking for hot youtuber zookeepersonly.com pandas are on there.
Damien Haas
Pandas are not on there. Pandas are looking for ways to take naps and eat food so they don't have to bone.
Ian Hecox
That's true.
Damien Haas
There's nothing we would like more than for them to do that.
Courtney Miller
And they don't.
Ian Hecox
If only the world tried to save Australia as much as we tried to save pandas.
Damien Haas
Well, maybe our listeners can donate if they choose.
Courtney Miller
Yes, can we put some links in the description?
Ian Hecox
Yeah, let's throw some links in the description. Description. If you guys want to help out Australia and all that they're going through, you know, let's. Let's help out some cute little koalas. They're in. They're in serious danger. Those little freaking bears. They're not even bears, right?
Courtney Miller
They're koala bears.
Ian Hecox
They're technically.
Damien Haas
I think they're. Technically. Well, they're marsupial.
Ian Hecox
Marsupials. Yeah. Gosh dang. They're so. They're so freaking cute. They already. They were already going through a chlamydia crisis.
Damien Haas
That's true.
Ian Hecox
Now.
Damien Haas
Poor drop bear.
Ian Hecox
The drop bears.
Damien Haas
The drop bears.
Ian Hecox
That's a little. That's a little Australian.
Damien Haas
Australian humor for you guys. Australians. There. Some drop bears. I know. I'm onto your games.
Courtney Miller
I will say, it's good to be back. It's good to be back here on the pod casting pods again.
Damien Haas
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
You guys, catching up fun.
Damien Haas
It's been great.
Ian Hecox
I like talking about my balls with you guys.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, me too. Thank you. Thank you. I like how I think you made eye contact with me just for the word balls.
Damien Haas
Maybe next time you can ask other people about their balls.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Damien Haas
Just saying.
Courtney Miller
Ask me about my balls.
Ian Hecox
How about your lady balls?
Courtney Miller
Lady balls? They're getting better. You know, they had a hard year.
Ian Hecox
All right. They're on the upswing. Yeah, well, mine are on the downswing, if you know what I mean. Gravity.
Damien Haas
Mine are in perfect stasis. Between up and down at all times.
Courtney Miller
0G. 0G balls.
Ian Hecox
I like that. That's cool. Teach me your ways.
Damien Haas
Okay.
Ian Hecox
That's okay. On time. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
Damien Haas
Yeah. I've never had to go to the bathroom more in my life.
Ian Hecox
All right, well, thank you guys so much, Courtney and Damien, for coming on the smoshcast with me.
Courtney Miller
Thank you, Papa Ian.
Damien Haas
Thank you, Papa. Papa. You're welcome.
Ian Hecox
You're welcome, children. And thank you guys for listening or watching. Smoshcast is available on on any of your podcast app listening places, and also YouTube @smoshcast. Rate us 5 stars on any of the podcast apps. Subscribe to us and kiss your mother if you have one. And if you don't, then my sincerest.
Courtney Miller
Kiss your neighbor.
Ian Hecox
Kiss your neighbor.
Damien Haas
Kiss your parental unit directly on the eyeball and make sure their eyes open and make sure they are not expecting.
Ian Hecox
And use tongue. Tongue. All right, well, we'll catch you next time. Smosh store. Get some merch and also my favorite coffee.
Courtney Miller
Oh, I got so much my favorite coffee and merch for my family for Christmas.
Ian Hecox
Good job, family.
Damien Haas
I did not.
Ian Hecox
I don't forgive you. All right, bye.
Courtney Miller
Love you.
Damien Haas
Bye.
Ryan Seacrest
Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacasino.com Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem team some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life, sponsored by Chumba Casino.
Damien Haas
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Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth - S2: #46 - Should We Keep Our Relationships Private?
Release Date: January 15, 2020
In episode #46 of Smosh Mouth titled "Should We Keep Our Relationships Private?", hosts Shayne Topp (short), Amanda Lehan-Canto (tall), and Smosh friends Damien Haas and Ian Hecox dive deep into the complexities of maintaining privacy in personal relationships amidst the pervasive presence of social media and public scrutiny.
The episode begins with the hosts reflecting on their recent winter break, sharing personal experiences related to isolation and health challenges.
Courtney Miller opens up about her discomfort with public displays of past relationships:
"[00:31] I feel weird knowing that there are photos on Facebook of me and my ex. I delete them whenever I see them. I don't want to have a collection of the people that I've had in my life like that."
Damien Haas shares his experience of feeling isolated while engaging in long gaming sessions:
"[01:10] Right when Skyrim came out, I would stock up on food. I had laundry in my room. Like, I didn't need to go anywhere for anything. I would go days without talking to people."
Ian Hecox muses on the constant pull of gravity as a metaphor for life's relentless pressures:
"[00:46] Gravity is just a force that's just continuously pulling us. It's like if somebody were to just be consistently pushing you towards a direction, we're getting consistently sucked downwards."
The conversation shifts to health issues faced by the hosts during the break, highlighting the importance of self-care and community support.
Courtney Miller discusses battling the flu:
"[06:14] I was very sick over winter break. I couldn't even make it to the last day at work because I was so sick. I was sipping water, and if I take too many sips, it's leaving my body."
Damien Haas talks about organizing a charity stream despite feeling unwell:
"[19:56] I decided I kind of want to do a charity stream. So I did my usual stream, but made it for charity. ... raised a hoop ton of money. How much? $4,014."
Ian Hecox shares a personal medical anecdote about experiencing severe ball pain:
"[25:01] So I went to the ER and I got a ball ultrasound. ... it was so cold and uncomfortable with the loud droning noise."
The hosts reminisce about their favorite games and how gaming served as an escape during challenging times.
Ian Hecox reflects on his gaming habits:
"[12:58] Danganronpa. Yeah, I forget. I miss those days, like when I would play a game till the sun literally rose."
Courtney Miller draws parallels between past and present gaming experiences:
"[13:12] I remember back when I was working at the pharmacy... I'd dedicate the rest of the day to my Xbox."
Damien Haas compares his experience with Skyrim:
"[14:21] Skyrim was great. I mean, I think I'd say like, pinto beans please, Ed Chipotle. But like, that was about it."
A humorous yet candid segment where the hosts discuss societal taboos surrounding male genitalia.
Ian Hecox initiates the topic:
"[45:45] It's important. I think there's this stigma in society. We can't talk about the male balls."
Courtney Miller adds her perspective:
"[45:54] As opposed to the female balls."
Damien Haas joins in the playful banter:
"[46:42] So you're gonna feel so good. I say it out to you all the time."
As the episode progresses, the focus shifts to the core topic—whether relationships should remain private, especially when part of a public persona or online presence.
Courtney Miller expresses the challenges of maintaining privacy:
"[54:17] ... I have learned to appreciate privacy in relationships. ... I delete photos of past relationships because I don't want people comparing them."
Damien Haas echoes similar sentiments:
"[54:59] ... relationships are hard enough without people dissecting every move you make."
Ian Hecox shares his approach to balancing personal life with public sharing:
"[56:37] I don't share a whole lot. I don't share everything in my private life because I think it's important to have that kind of separation."
Courtney Miller further elaborates on the impact of public relationships:
"[55:44] ... the Internet is forever. Even if you delete a video, 30 people have downloaded it and posted it elsewhere."
The hosts discuss strategies for managing personal relationships without letting them overshadow their public identities.
Damien Haas highlights the pressure of public scrutiny:
"[55:02] ... what's up. It is the marriage industrial complex."
Courtney Miller reflects on the authenticity of sharing personal milestones:
"[59:34] ... it felt less genuine as it carried out more ... like a story, not like real."
Ian Hecox emphasizes the importance of keeping personal experiences separate:
"[57:52] I don't share a whole lot... it's not gonna be like, 'we're couples, couples, couples.'"
The episode wraps up with the hosts reiterating the importance of privacy in personal relationships while acknowledging the challenges posed by public personas and social media. They emphasize finding a balance that allows for personal happiness without the undue pressure of public opinion.
Courtney Miller finalizes the discussion:
"[59:06] ... relationships are a commitment in a way. The Internet is an even bigger commitment if you have the audience watching your life."
Damien Haas concurs, urging respect for individual choices:
"[54:59] I think it's totally true... there should be an expectation either way."
Ian Hecox concludes with a personal note on managing private and public life:
"[56:37] ... it's important to have that kind of separation."
Courtney Miller [00:31]: "I don't want to have a collection of the people that I've had in my life like that."
Damien Haas [19:56]: "Raised a hoop ton of money. How much? $4,014."
Ian Hecox [45:45]: "We can't talk about the male balls."
Courtney Miller [55:44]: "The Internet is forever. ... I don't want people comparing my relationships."
Damien Haas [54:59]: "Relationships are hard enough without people dissecting every move we make."
"Should We Keep Our Relationships Private?" offers an insightful exploration into the delicate balance between personal privacy and public persona. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, the Smosh Mouth team sheds light on the complexities of maintaining authentic relationships in the digital age.
For more episodes, visit Smoshcast on YouTube and subscribe on your favorite podcast platforms.