S2: #61 - Ian’s Quarantine Date with Courtney’s Sister

Summary

Smosh Mouth Podcast: Season 2, Episode 61 - Ian’s Quarantine Date with Courtney’s Sister

Release Date: April 29, 2020

In Season 2, Episode 61 of the Smosh Mouth podcast, hosts Shayne Topp (short), Amanda Lehan-Canto (tall), and a rotating Smosh friend delve into the unique challenges and humorous moments brought about by quarantine life. This episode features special guests Courtney Miller and her sister, Carrie Miller, who share their personal experiences with online dating, stand-up comedy, and navigating relationships during lockdown.

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1. Introduction and Technical Hiccups

The episode begins with Courtney Miller addressing some technical difficulties, humorously mentioning that she forgot to press the recording button at the start ([00:45] Courtney Miller). Fortunately, Kevin captures the ongoing conversation, ensuring the podcast proceeds smoothly.

Notable Quote:

• Courtney Miller ([00:05]): “I was swiping on the Bumbles. I came across Carrie on Bumble. And I was like, that'd be kind of funny if I swiped right.”

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2. Introducing Carrie Miller and Her Stand-Up Journey

Carrie Miller, Courtney's sister, joins the podcast to discuss her venture into stand-up comedy during quarantine. She shares how she set up her own brick wall backdrop and performed "awkward quarantine stand-up," which amusingly went viral on Instagram.

Notable Quote:

• Carrie Miller ([02:28]): “I'm going to say you guys can tune in. [Laughs]”

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3. The Viral Kiki Challenge Video

Carrie recounts the creation of a viral Kiki challenge video where she humorously pretended to be hit by a car. The video’s realistic VFX led to confusion, with some viewers mistaking it for real events.

Notable Quotes:

• Carrie Miller ([03:16]): “What I have to say about that, which was crazy, was that somebody attached a video of a girl wearing the same outfit, like, getting loaded onto an ambulance, like, actually injured.”
• Courtney Miller ([03:24]): “You guys did really good VFX on it and, like, made it look like your body got, like, warped from the car.”

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4. Navigating Online Dating with Bumble

The conversation shifts to online dating experiences, particularly on Bumble. Ian Hecox explains how he swiped right on Carrie's profile, intending it as a humorous gesture, but didn't receive a match due to her stringent filters.

Notable Quotes:

• Ian Hecox ([12:37]): “I was swiping right anyway, just for the bit. And I have to say, I have to report. Never got a match, dude.”
• Carrie Miller ([12:54]): “Is that about my Bumble days? … I have a lot of settings at the time.”

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5. The Superficiality of Height Preferences

Carrie discusses her height preferences on dating apps, stating a preference for taller partners, which Courtney critiques as shallow. The hosts humorously debate the importance of height in relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Carrie Miller ([15:14]): “I enjoy a taller partner, you know. It's what it is.”
• Courtney Miller ([16:41]): “I don't know if... It personally bothers me.“

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6. Scary Stories from Dating Apps

Courtney shares a harrowing experience with a persistent and potentially dangerous individual she met on Bumble. The man became overly aggressive after she expressed disinterest, leading her to block his number for safety.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney Miller ([32:02]): “He came across as a serial killer... I blocked his number.”
• Ian Hecox ([32:10]): “I try to be as un-serial killer as possible on dating apps because I realize the dangers that are inherent with.”

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7. Stand-Up Comedy Challenges During Quarantine

Carrie delves into her experiences performing at open mics, highlighting the brutal environment of the Los Angeles comedy scene compared to Sacramento. She discusses the harsh feedback and the competitive nature of LA’s stand-up community.

Notable Quotes:

• Carrie Miller ([24:00]): “It's super cringe. I was on... Kill Tony open mic, which was kind of cool. That streams on YouTube live and it's a podcast.”
• Ian Hecox ([26:48]): “They’re performing in front of people that are like, oh, yeah, I study comedy. Good job.”

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8. The Dynamics of Performing in LA vs. Sacramento

The hosts compare the open mic scenes in LA and Sacramento, noting how LA’s environment is more competitive and less supportive, making it challenging for newcomers to thrive.

Notable Quotes:

• Carrie Miller ([26:40]): “It can be that way. So maybe it helps to bring friends.”
• Ian Hecox ([26:21]): “I heard it is pretty mean.”

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9. Dealing with Height and Relationship Dynamics

Further exploration of height preferences leads to a discussion on the societal pressures and personal preferences that influence dating choices. The conversation touches on how these superficial criteria impact meaningful connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Ian Hecox ([17:03]): “But if there is a... physical attraction to somebody that's taller than you because it's like a certain thing, you can't deny that.”

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10. Humorous Interlude: The Noisy Neighbor

Courtney humorously describes her loud and seemingly volatile neighbor who frequently yells on the phone, leading to comical exchanges and shared frustrations among the hosts.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney Miller ([40:31]): “She's literally parading this man yelling at this and then goes, call me back in 10 minutes. I need to get some soup.”
• Ian Hecox ([42:05]): “You should give her like a little get well package with some throat coat tea.”

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11. Closing Stories and Final Banter

The episode concludes with Courtney sharing a fictionalized or exaggerated breakup story, highlighting the complexities of personal relationships. The hosts wrap up with playful jokes and encouragement for listeners to engage with their content on social media.

Notable Quotes:

• Courtney Miller ([49:01]): “I had just gotten out of a bad long distance relationship where he cheated on me with my best friend in the same state.”
• Carrie Miller ([50:50]): “They just don't know that I'm waiting in their likes.”

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• The Perils of Online Dating: The episode underscores the potential dangers and frustrations of online dating, emphasizing the importance of cautious engagement.

• Stand-Up Comedy Realities: Insights into the harsh and competitive nature of the stand-up comedy scene, particularly in LA, highlight the resilience needed to succeed.

• Superficial Preferences vs. Meaningful Connections: The discussion on height preferences illustrates how superficial criteria can hinder the formation of genuine relationships.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: The hosts and guests use humor to navigate and discuss the awkward and challenging aspects of quarantine life, showcasing its role in mental well-being.

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Conclusion

Episode #61 of Smosh Mouth offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions about the trials of quarantine life, online dating, and the challenging world of stand-up comedy. Through engaging storytelling and witty banter, Courtney and Carrie Miller provide listeners with relatable content that resonates with anyone navigating relationships and creative pursuits during unprecedented times.

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Listeners are encouraged to rate the podcast 5 stars on their favorite podcasting app and follow Carrie Miller for more of her quirky and entertaining content.

Transcript

[Courtney Miller]

Ramble.

[Ian Hecox]

I was swiping on the Bumbles. I came across Carrie on. On Bumble. And I was like, that'd be kind of funny if I swiped right.

[Carrie Miller]

You have to have thick skin if you're doing stand up and they're showing you what's laughable about you that you can just take ownership of and like use yourself.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't go on Bumble. I can't put myself out there first. And then some guy being like the girl from Smosh hit on me. What a dummy.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I try to be as unserial killer as possible on dating apps for me.

[Courtney Miller]

I go, hey, it's so easy to kill you, but I won't could kill you.

[Carrie Miller]

Let's just get that out of the way. I don't want to. I want to date you.

[Courtney Miller]

A couple weeks ago, I forgot to press start recording until about like maybe almost halfway through. Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

What happened?

[Courtney Miller]

I. I was having a really rough week though.

[Carrie Miller]

No, not how did you that up possibly, but like how did you. How'd you recover from that? You just had half of the.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, Kevin records.

[Ian Hecox]

Kevin records this, this stream. So.

[Carrie Miller]

Thanks.

[Ian Hecox]

And luckily Courtney's voice is really clear through. Through chat.

[Carrie Miller]

She somehow has this magical voice.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, exactly. Welcome everyone, to the smoshcast. Today is. Is a very. Let's just call it the karma episode. Because today I am joined by Courtney and Courtney's sister, Carrie. Welcome.

[Carrie Miller]

Hello. Can you guys see. Can you guys hear me?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. She doesn't know where to look.

[Carrie Miller]

Hey guys, thank you so much for having me.

[Courtney Miller]

Just staring up at the wall. Welcome, welcome. Dude, I love you have your brick wall over there for the videos.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, I've been playing around with some stand ups, so. Yeah, I got that set up there.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. For the listening. She's got like a tapestry hanging that looks just like a brick wall. She posted a video on her Instagram like doing awkward quarantine stand up. But it was really fun.

[Carrie Miller]

You know, we could also just call it quarantine stand up and that works too. But if you thought it was awkward, then that's fine.

[Courtney Miller]

Can you give us. I know, I know.

[Ian Hecox]

Can you give us a sweet quarantine joke?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, don't do that stand up comedy.

[Carrie Miller]

I'm going to say you guys can tune in.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, you're comedian. Tell us a joke.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, classic. God. But I will say I just want to give a little backstory. Obviously Carrie's been. She was on show with no name a while back. She's. She's met the squad a few times. She's come to the new office. She went to Defy a few times.

[Carrie Miller]

Just a fan.

[Courtney Miller]

And she's. She was all. She was just also the sibling that, like, taught me what was cool. Always growing up.

[Carrie Miller]

You hear that?

[Courtney Miller]

Siblings. I have, honestly. And then also, she's gone incredibly viral before. I don't know if you guys have seen the video where Carrie did the Kiki challenge and they made it look like she got hit by a car.

[Carrie Miller]

We sure did. We made that shit look real. Oh, can I swear?

[Courtney Miller]

Was. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, thanks.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. And it was on the news all over the planet, everywhere.

[Carrie Miller]

Is she dead? Was the wondering.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. You guys did really good VFX on it and, like, made it look like your body got, like, warped from the car.

[Carrie Miller]

What I have to say about that, which was crazy, was that somebody attached a video of a girl wearing the same outfit, like, getting loaded onto an ambulance, like, actually injured. And so everyone was like, that's really messed up that you took it so far. I'm like, no, no, no, that's not me. I hope she's good, but my stuff is edit. It's an edit, guys. Like, thanks for watching, but it got a little dark because somebody had the brilliant idea of making it look real.

[Courtney Miller]

Take that next step.

[Ian Hecox]

That's like an oddly tasteful. That's like an oddly smosh thing to get hit by a car. Like, we've had so many videos where people get hit by cars.

[Carrie Miller]

It's a great punchline.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't tell you how many times I've been in a weird outfit and wig and just standing in the street and having to go, good. Yeah, pretend that I got hit and then run out of frame. And then you run out.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. Bring the car through.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, man. We had to wait so long for that car to go by. It was, like, a decently busy street. And then when we needed the moment, we all just, like, stood there for 20 minutes, just, like, waiting for.

[Ian Hecox]

That always happens. It's always. Traffic never obeys the way you want it to. Like, back when we used to shoot in Sacramento, we. The house was one house away from a highway. It like. And it was like a common, like, thoroughfare for, like, semi trucks, so. And there was a light right down the street, so the trucks would always, like, downshift, like, right next to our house. So we'd be shooting and be totally quiet. And then the moment we start rolling, you'd hear a truck. Yeah, it is a pain.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, man.

[Carrie Miller]

That is a pain, man. Traffic, dude. Another reason. Another reason Traffic sucks.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, now's a good time to shoot. There ain't no traffic.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, my gosh.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it is a very eerily quiet morning. Like, morning this morning. Like, especially with a little bit of the wind. It's like. It's almost like October. Like, spooky fall vibes.

[Ian Hecox]

Spooky fall.

[Carrie Miller]

I keep.

[Ian Hecox]

I keep. I mean, like, when it's, like, good weather outside, I usually leave my windows open at night, and it's been nice. Dude, it's been so nice. And lately I keep having to check my windows to make sure they're open because I don't hear any traffic outside. Like, I'm so used to hearing cars driving by. But, like, at night now, it's complete silence. I'm like, wait, is my window open? Oh, yeah, there's just nobody out right now.

[Carrie Miller]

Whoa. That's really weird.

[Courtney Miller]

Additional backstory for this episode of the Pod I guess I should bring in as I thought it would be a great idea to bring Carrie on. Obviously, for many reasons, but one of them being, you know what? Quarantine. Life is crazy. Screw it. Let's bring her on. Especially after the. The first time we ever talked about her on this pod. I think it was.

[Carrie Miller]

I feel like you talk about me.

[Courtney Miller]

All the time, but I do, actually. I talk about my family a lot because I'm cool.

[Carrie Miller]

Me too. We're obsessed with each other.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's the way it goes. Wait, what was the thing I said? I found an old Instagram caption that I posted. It was, like, from, like, 2013, where I was just, like, looking through old Instagram posts one day, and, like, it was a birthday post for Carrie, and I was like, oh, my God. Happy birthday, Carrie.

[Ian Hecox]

Love you.

[Courtney Miller]

Wood bang. But incest.

[Carrie Miller]

And I was like, don't change it. That's just funny. Like, that's just how we like to joke. We like to be the most shocking.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, Ian always jokes and thinks it's so weird, like, how affectionate and close we are.

[Carrie Miller]

We're not saying each other. Sorry. Affectionate.

[Ian Hecox]

I've never said it's weird. When have I ever said it's weird?

[Courtney Miller]

You said it was weird.

[Carrie Miller]

We love each other.

[Courtney Miller]

How? Like, my brother Clark is the one taking some of my swimsuit photos. Sometimes they're around.

[Carrie Miller]

You know what? They're round and they're down.

[Ian Hecox]

Or, like, when your brother took the naked butt shot of you.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, let's put a little more context on that.

[Ian Hecox]

No, just leave it at that.

[Courtney Miller]

No, it was the. We were in my car, our whole family. Was in the car on our way to a concert.

[Carrie Miller]

There were plenty of people around for the.

[Courtney Miller]

Plenty of witnesses, Ian.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

But yeah, I had. I had wrote. I had wrote you on my right butt cheek.

[Carrie Miller]

And I. Hard to take a photo of on your own.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I agree.

[Courtney Miller]

Who better than a family member?

[Carrie Miller]

And it's not. I mean, we moon. We moon. We be mooning our older brother, Our oldest brother. King of mooning.

[Courtney Miller]

King of mooning.

[Carrie Miller]

When you don't expect it. And then you take a family photo and then you look at it and you're like, ah. Again, beautiful ass, that kid.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, but. Sorry, I keep getting on topic. Ian.

[Ian Hecox]

Wait, wait, wait. Say.

[Courtney Miller]

It was smash cast number 13.

[Ian Hecox]

But that's. Oh, wow. But that's. That's not the weird like. But never mind. I was gonna continue the bit of. You guys keep going. But. Okay, go.

[Courtney Miller]

What is it?

[Ian Hecox]

Well, now it's. Now it's too late now. Now the bits. But I'm just gonna make a joke about. I guess I was gonna make a joke about you guys all kissing each other on the mouths.

[Courtney Miller]

No, we haven't done that in a long time.

[Carrie Miller]

I don't think it's like, strange.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, siblings don't.

[Ian Hecox]

No, that's okay.

[Carrie Miller]

Kiss on faces.

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Carrie Miller]

Maybe I'm like the head.

[Courtney Miller]

When I was a little kid, I'd kiss my dad goodbye or good night.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, like, that's normal.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But on the lips, it's weird. And especially I guess, once you're an adult.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, like just, I mean.

[Ian Hecox]

Cut it, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Remember when we went to Mexico, Carrie, and like, that creepy dude was like, horny over the fact that we were sisters? Like. Yeah, it was the weirdest.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, the sibling. It's. It's annoying. It's just like, why? Why is that where your head's at, man? We're just like.

[Ian Hecox]

He's like. Are you guys literally related?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, okay.

[Ian Hecox]

I've been. I've been waiting to post this on. On Twitter, but I can't find a good version. Do you remember that? Incredibly cursed. Well, now the commercial feels cursed. Back then it was just like, haha. Yeah, but do you remember that? I think it's a Coors Light commercial. And. And twins.

[Courtney Miller]

What?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it was like a straight up.

[Carrie Miller]

That's a dream you had.

[Ian Hecox]

No, no, no, it's a straight up, like dms. Yeah, it was like a super. It was a Super bowl commercial.

[Courtney Miller]

Kevin. Kevin's saying we can't use that because it's monetized.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

No, come on. It's a commercial. It's fine. It's fine. Kevin.

[Carrie Miller]

I don't even think that it is. Kevin.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think it's a fever dream because no Corona commercial.

[Ian Hecox]

It's real toy Corona. It's like. Yes. And it says it twice. And it says it twice in the. In the song. It's like that. It talks about, like, I love football on TV and like, hanging with my friends and twins.

[Carrie Miller]

Twins. I see that I could do. I mean, no brilliant writing.

[Ian Hecox]

If anything, it's so cringy. But it's like, I think it was from like the 90s.

[Courtney Miller]

Creepy.

[Carrie Miller]

Classic.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't get the fetish. I don't. But we keep dancing around. Why carries really here? You know what, Ian? Why don't you express how you first came. Came across my sister via telephone?

[Carrie Miller]

Let's start it. Let's get it started. Come on, let's talk about it.

[Courtney Miller]

What's the story? What's the scoopy in.

[Ian Hecox]

What's the story? Wait, wait, when was the first time. What about a telephone?

[Courtney Miller]

Don't play dumb. When did you swipe right?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, you're talking about that. Yes.

[Carrie Miller]

Is that about my bumble days?

[Courtney Miller]

So, yeah, I kicked it all off.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, I'm trying to. On the podcast, episode 13, I don't know how we brought up myself sister. Oh, no, it was because in the office one day I mentioned that my sister was single because, like, her and I were hitting that single life for a bit. And then like, my. Then, whoa, Ian. You know, and that's weird is when I almost just called you my brother, but I was like. But then Ian was joking about that. And then one day you find her dating profile.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Yeah. So I. I get a lot of. I get a lot of pleasure out of making people uncomfortable with jokes.

[Carrie Miller]

So, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So I like to needle Courtney with jokes about, like, oh, yeah. You know, I mean, it's probably inevitable that at one point me and your sister are going to get married, and then we're going to be at dinner, we're going to, like, have, like, Thanksgiving dinner, and it's just going to be great. And I get to call.

[Carrie Miller]

Just laugh about it.

[Ian Hecox]

I get to call your dad. Dad.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. But then who's the boss of who? Like, you're my boss, but then my dad is your boss. Then I'll be like, my dad's going to beat you up if you.

[Carrie Miller]

He probably. Oh, my God.

[Ian Hecox]

He definitely could.

[Courtney Miller]

He's. He's getting older it's not that.

[Carrie Miller]

It's just that he wouldn't. It's just that he simply would not.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, he's not a fighter.

[Ian Hecox]

I was swiping on the Bumbles and I came across Kerry on. On Bumble. And I was like, that'd be kind of funny if I swiped right. And so I did.

[Carrie Miller]

Tell me about my profile. Was it cool? Did it seem like I was, like, fun? I'm just curious about your impression, you know, Like, I just wonder how I come off sometimes. I get weird feedback.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Yeah. It was all. It was all good. I want to say there was. There was something. There was something on there that was, like, very, very, like, very weedy. And I was like, I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, because you're conservative.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, my God.

[Carrie Miller]

Based off that, you were like, I'm not sure. This chick blazes too fast. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't. To kick it with this stoner.

[Ian Hecox]

Right, Exactly.

[Carrie Miller]

For sure.

[Ian Hecox]

Blaze too. Too strong.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. So that's interesting.

[Ian Hecox]

But I swiped right anyway, just. Just for the bit. And I. I have to say, I have to report. Never got a match, dude.

[Carrie Miller]

Never saw you, dude. Courty was like. One day, Courty was like, did you know something? Don't notice something different on Instagram? And I was like, no, what's up? And she was like, oh. And then she kind of, like, filled me in on everything. But I had never seen you.

[Courtney Miller]

I made Ian follow you on Instagram to see what happened.

[Carrie Miller]

Didn't catch it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, she didn't even notice because you smosh.

[Carrie Miller]

People come in and out. You know, they pop by. I was a little viral at the time, you know, and, Yeah, I didn't see it. Okay. I have a. I had a lot of settings at the time.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, so. So you had a lot of filters. You have a lot of things, people.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, I really it up with the filters, you know, I never want to meet anybody if they don't.

[Ian Hecox]

If they don't blaze too fat, you know?

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

That's also like a filter.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, sometimes that is a thing. I'm like, he seems cool, but he says he'll never smoke. But, yeah, it's the silliest thing because it's matching yourself.

[Courtney Miller]

It's okay.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, it's. It's taking in so many things, like, into account, and if you're doing things at face value, I'm like, fuck it. I'm just going to be. I'm just going to set the bar so high because I don't want to, like, you know, like, they need to be this tall. They need to have this lifestyle. And I'm like, oh, there's. I literally run out of matches, man. Let me tell you. Okay, is like, that's it for now. Maybe change your settings.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah, actually, I got that on. I got that on Bumble as.

[Courtney Miller]

Well.

[Ian Hecox]

And they're like. They're like, please expand your. Your preferences. And I was.

[Carrie Miller]

Please calm the down.

[Ian Hecox]

This boy don't settle.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, he don't settle.

[Courtney Miller]

Carrie, you mentioned the. The that you have, like, height requirements and stuff. And I guess, I mean, I'm thinking a lot.

[Carrie Miller]

You're not.

[Courtney Miller]

True.

[Carrie Miller]

I'm. She's taller than the tallest Miller woman. Okay, what are you, five, seven, five eight and a half? Pushing five nine, my friend. You know, since I've been doing yoga, my spine's gotten a lot longer, and I think I'm five, eight and a half now, so.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Carrie Miller]

I just. I just enjoy a taller partner, you know. It's what it is. And that could change. I could fall in love with any height, you know.

[Courtney Miller]

Is it. What is the height requirement? Like, what's the minimum?

[Carrie Miller]

I just keep it. I start at 6 and I. And I realize, look, it's shallow as hell. That means nothing about this person I'm going to meet. It doesn't mean anything. It's just like, it. I'm just going to. I just. I want them to hit all these. These requirements and you know what? Haven't met really anybody.

[Ian Hecox]

There is kind of that meme of like, if you're like 6:3, you don't really need a personality. But it's.

[Courtney Miller]

I hate that, though.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I will say, like, it is a common thing. Like, I think across all genders, like, there's. There's people. There are people who have a height requirement and like, some. Some people find that really controversial. Some people are like, nope, that's what it is. That's what I want. It personally bothers me. I don't know. It's nothing against you, Carrie, because you're tall and I understand what you're looking for. I think for me, it's like, it, like. Yeah, like what you said, Ian. Like, oh, if you're 6 3, you don't need a personality. But that's like. That's like borderline when if you're looking for someone at a certain height, you're like, oh, he needs to be 65 and blah. I feel like that's, like, really shitty.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, dude. No, it's not. And there's been plenty of like, six, five dummies where I've been like, ugh. It's too bad.

[Courtney Miller]

It's too bad.

[Carrie Miller]

Like, it's truly not going to, like, help me in any way. It's just like, if you're. If you're judging people based on photos and prompts, it's like, it's gonna be shallow. You can't get an actual vibe.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, but I mean, I think. Look, I think there's. I think that you can't go fully, one way or the other. You can't be completely superficial, but you also can't go completely off of. Completely off of maybe personality, because, I mean, you have to be attracted to the person. So if there is a. If there's like a. Just that kind of physical attraction to somebody that is taller than you because it's like a certain thing, like, you can't deny that, like, that that's just what you're into. And does that mean. Does that mean that. That somebody shorter than you might happen to be the perfect person for you? Maybe, but that's not. That's not the kind of. But more often than not, maybe not. I don't know.

[Carrie Miller]

People like what they like, and if you got those settings, I mean, play around with them, I think it's great.

[Courtney Miller]

That they have those options for people to have those settings, honestly.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, sure.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

Like, I can end up with a short king. We don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say, like, I've only dated one guy that was significantly taller than me. Like, every, like, serious relationship I had, like, the high school boyfriend and that other serious boyfriend, like, they were only a couple inches taller than me. I actually might be taller than my high school boyfriend now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how it just happened like that. I don't know if that's, like, me, like, seeing, like, oh, we're equals. So, like.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, I know. It's not like the eye to eye. It's not like a physic. It doesn't mean anything, like, physical. I don't think it's just like, oh, who's that? You know, it's kind of like in my. My, My thing. Oh, oh, what? Oh, who's that tall drink of water? You know, I can't help that reaction, but certainly not gonna be, you know, how Carrie finds love.

[Courtney Miller]

So that's how. That's how Carrie never saw Ian on the dating app.

[Carrie Miller]

So that's how I rejected your filter.

[Ian Hecox]

You had your filter set to six foot? Yeah, Minimum.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. And I had a friend who was like, I saw you on Bumble, and I swipe right, and I was like, cool. I didn't see it. And I didn't realize that. And then I realized, oh, my God. That's why I also didn't see Ian. So I was just.

[Ian Hecox]

But if you change. If you change your filters, they'll all be there in your, like, little, like, box. So I'm just saying.

[Courtney Miller]

Really?

[Carrie Miller]

Really?

[Ian Hecox]

I might still be sitting there. Yeah. Because I. Oh, my God. Because I kept getting these. I kept getting these notifications from Bumble saying that people still. People, like. People, like, liked my thing. And I go there, and it was always empty. I was like, okay, something's broken with my Bumble. But then I realized I just had to remove the advanced. Advanced filters. And then all of a sudden, like, a ton of people showed up that didn't. That weren't what I wanted. So I was like, yeah, I guess the advanced filter is kind of important.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Carrie Miller]

So once I redownload the app, because I have not been on Bumble, literally, since then, because it made me uncomfortable being like, the girl is the one who initiates, and I just, like, don't like that.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like, I. Yeah, I felt that, too.

[Carrie Miller]

That wasn't. But, hey, I'll. I'll download it and I'll see if you're in the queue. Yeah, Just. I'm curious.

[Courtney Miller]

But I guess it's kind of like dating apps are. I mean, a weird territory right now with everybody staying home. So, like, you guys had any luck.

[Carrie Miller]

Or any boy, We've been trying.

[Ian Hecox]

You have to define. Define luck. I did a second. I did a second video date.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, yeah. With the one that you were talking about in the last one with the one that was doing dishes.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah. Not that one. I was like, you know what? It's a. I'm okay. I'm chilling. Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, she's busy.

[Courtney Miller]

Dish date.

[Carrie Miller]

She's really busy with her dishes. So tell us about the second date.

[Ian Hecox]

It was chill.

[Carrie Miller]

Was it, like, FaceTime? Was it planned FaceTime? Or was it, like, spur of the moment?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, hell no, I'm not. Because I'm a stranger.

[Carrie Miller]

Thank you. There's this one person who keeps, like, just FaceTiming me, and I'm like, no, that's creepy.

[Ian Hecox]

That's so creepy.

[Carrie Miller]

Not chill.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like, you're not my friend. Like, this is a. This is a. A. An arrangement.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

That we're going to. I don't know. You don't call me out of the blue.

[Carrie Miller]

A spur of the moment. FaceTime feels like somebody, like, popping up in your life, like, hey, what's up? How's it going? Like, in your face, you know? And you're, like, so seen, and it's.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, no, they literally can't see you yet.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, you just see yourself.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, an unwarranted FaceTime should be considered assault.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, it honestly does feel like at least like, a flick on the forehead, you know? Like, it does. Like, I feel like. Oh, my God. It's like. Yeah. Hey, I feel like I have a story. Do you guys have any, like, scary dating app stories?

[Carrie Miller]

Wait, I want to hear how the second. How your second date was. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the second.

[Ian Hecox]

It was. It was fine. We just talked.

[Carrie Miller]

Was she funny? She make you laugh at all?

[Ian Hecox]

No, I try to.

[Courtney Miller]

Nobody makes Ian laugh.

[Ian Hecox]

No, I. I guess maybe. Maybe. I. I don't know. It's. It's. I can't think of anybody in. Like, in. In, like, a normal. In a normal conversational circumstance where I'm like, oh, man, that person's really funny. You know what I mean?

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like all the times I've seen you, like, laugh, laugh. Like, one of my favorite moments is, like, when we did that. That pizza. There's a Domino's pizza mukbang. And we called our favorite pizza places. That was, like, the hardest I'd seen you laugh, like, ever. But even, like, when I first met you, like, I'd be talking to you, and you just, like, never laughed. You'd be like, yeah, yeah, that's really funny.

[Carrie Miller]

God damn.

[Courtney Miller]

And I guess when you're just in comedy for long enough, I don't know when you. Damn up. Yeah, I acknowledge that it's funny.

[Ian Hecox]

I know it's funny.

[Carrie Miller]

I acknowledge that that is funny. Is that what you do at improv? You're like, yeah, I acknowledge that that is funny.

[Ian Hecox]

Acknowledge, Yes. I got a stand up. I got a stand up. I go, I get that one. That's a good one.

[Carrie Miller]

Not bad.

[Ian Hecox]

The setup was good, but the delivery was a little weak. That actually is, like, every person.

[Carrie Miller]

My next open mic.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that is every person in an open mic. Right? So you've. So you've done brutal. And we'll go back to the dating stuff. But you do. You do a little stand up action, Carrie?

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, I've been playing around with. With the medium.

[Courtney Miller]

There's.

[Carrie Miller]

There were, like, a couple open mic theaters right by my apartment where I used to live. Like, right before, like, quarantine happened, I was going to, like, One a week, two a week, which in, like, stand up culture is, like, not enough. Like, you're not working hard enough if you're only going to, like, one a week. But yeah, it was fun and brutal and I bombed a bunch. And, like, it is what it is. It's super cringe. I was on. Is that a Sorry. And then I was on the Comedy Store Kill Tony open mic, which was kind of cool. That streams.

[Ian Hecox]

God.

[Carrie Miller]

And I just. Oh, it's brutal, man. It's brutal.

[Ian Hecox]

I tried. I tried listening to that. So. So Kill Tony. Can you explain that to the audience?

[Carrie Miller]

So they. You enter a drawing, you, like, sign up, which you have to go like two hours before the show. You put your name on a list that's like 150 comics, which I think some of them put, like, two names or something just so that they increase their odds because it's a big po and you have a chance to be seen because they stream on YouTube live and it's a podcast. And Tony Henchcliffe is like a huge. His specialty is, like, roast comedy. Like, he's written for all the major roasters, and he's just like, the king. So he gives you one minute. You get drawn. Your name gets drawn out of a bucket, and you get one minute of stand up. And then after that, they kind of roast you and ask you questions. And for mine, they just hit on me the whole time. Oh, my God. That's where I can joke. That is not my place. So I was just like. Like, that's literally my weekend.

[Courtney Miller]

That is. Dude. It was so cringe.

[Carrie Miller]

All my friends were, like, pissed about it. They were like, don't worry. It's like. Yeah, they could have been way, like, cooler about that.

[Courtney Miller]

That's the kind of stuff that makes me want to tweet.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it's. It's kind of like the. The podcast. It's pretty popular. I tried. I listened to it a couple times, but I just couldn't get with it because just. It was just mean.

[Carrie Miller]

It's. It's pretty mean. Which, don't get me wrong, is. Is healthy in a way that it's like they're showing a comic. You have to have thick skin if you're doing stand up.

[Courtney Miller]

Absolutely.

[Carrie Miller]

And they're showing you what's laughable about you that you can just take ownership of and, like, use yourself. So it's incredibly valuable as an experience. And it was. It was a major learning experience for me. I'd love to go back and do it again someday, but it's. It's a lot in one like, tight segment. And my set apparently did okay. I got some good feedback. I just talked about we have a large aunt and. Oh, boy, let's not get into it.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, wow. You talked about her.

[Carrie Miller]

It was great. It went well. It went great.

[Courtney Miller]

That's awesome.

[Carrie Miller]

Totally insensitive. I figure, let's go dark. And I did. And dude, what a thrill. It was cool to be on that platform and to joke, but it was really eye opening. They're like, oh, really? You're only going up? That's when I really got roasted for not working hard enough. I was like, shoot. I really need to be ready for stuff like this. Yeah, it's a thrill ride.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, and also, like, for sure. I've heard that, like, LA is basically the worst place to start doing stand up because.

[Carrie Miller]

Really?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, because, well, apparently, like the open mics. So like, in Sacramento you'd go to an open. Like, I've gone to an open mic not to perform, but to watch. And everyone in the audience are people that are there to watch comedy. In la, the way I've heard it is every open mic is all comics waiting for their turn to go up.

[Carrie Miller]

Exactly. It's all open micrs. So it's so, like, dark and like, the vibe is grim because everybody's mad that nobody's laughing.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

And sometimes I just want to, like, go up and like, Tony Robbins, everyone and be like, you, that was funny what you did, but then you got mad before. Like, guys, we can do this. Like, how sad is this? Come on. Like, I want to, like, bring everybody up, but, like, I would just get.

[Courtney Miller]

Struck, still be some ass. Like, like, you smiley bitch, get out.

[Ian Hecox]

You're not performing in front of, like, actual, like, people that are there to, like, laugh at comedy. You're performing in front of people that are like, oh, yeah, I get this joke. I. I study comedy. I know this joke. Oh, nice job. Good.

[Carrie Miller]

And you see each other. I can do better competition too.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

You're like, if she blows up, I'm gonna be so mad or whatever. You know, it's. It can be that way. So maybe it helps to bring friends. For sure. If they'll. If they'll stick it out with you. Those have been my best sets. Also, I'm more motivated to have a better set because I have people that I actually give a shit about in the audience because I know the rest are just like, just like other open micrs. Just like, you know.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[Ian Hecox]

So my, My recommendation would be move to Minnesota.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Start. Start there.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Ian Hecox]

You know? Yeah. Yeah, that's my. That's my expert.

[Carrie Miller]

Minnesota.

[Ian Hecox]

Minnesota. St. Paul.

[Courtney Miller]

Hey, they have the Mall of America. You could go there.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah. Perform open mic at the Mall of America.

[Carrie Miller]

At the America.

[Ian Hecox]

The Mall of America.

[Carrie Miller]

It's good to be here at the Mall of America.

[Courtney Miller]

Fun fact. They have no tax on buying clothes in. At the Mall of America in Minnesota.

[Ian Hecox]

No. No sales tax. Did you just Google that or just clothes?

[Courtney Miller]

No, I went there once.

[Carrie Miller]

You went to Minnesota?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. With my eggs.

[Carrie Miller]

Classic.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. I bought. I had that one denim jacket with a snake on the back, and I bought that out there, and there was no sale. Sales tax.

[Carrie Miller]

Well, that's a good memory.

[Courtney Miller]

That's the only one.

[Ian Hecox]

You still got to pay the tax. And you bring it back to California.

[Carrie Miller]

Supposed to put that right?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, just to put that in your.

[Courtney Miller]

Oopsie. Don't tell the big boy.

[Ian Hecox]

Just say you left that jacket in Minnesota. You never brought it to.

[Courtney Miller]

I did. I left it with my feelings, too.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, shoot.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, shoot, dude. Man, I wish we could talk about our Aunt Gary.

[Carrie Miller]

I know. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, let's be nice. But, yeah, with dating apps. I wanted to know if you guys had any scary stories. Cause I did have that one, but it wasn't, like, that bad. But also kind of really bad.

[Ian Hecox]

What?

[Courtney Miller]

Remember the guy, scary ones? The skin guy?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, I mean, I just say, remember this guy? Yeah, he just, like, commented on, like, your skin.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, no, that's not it at all. We actually had cut it out of the bumble episode of Me and Shane's show why We're Bad. And it. Honestly, it's very possible that maybe I was just reading what he was saying wrong. And maybe he's just a normal guy, but it's very unfortunate that he came across as a serial killer, so.

[Carrie Miller]

It sucks when it happens, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I mean, and I was like. It was Tinder, right? So that was like a whole other.

[Ian Hecox]

What do you do?

[Courtney Miller]

That's the one I'm Was two and a half years ago. Three years ago. That's the one, right? That's the one everybody uses. Okay.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And this one, I was so. Dude, I'm a picky swiper. Like, even if they're. Even if everything looks right, I'm like, everything looks right. That's wrong. And I would, like, swipe left. Like, I.

[Ian Hecox]

It's amazing that you're single, Courtney.

[Carrie Miller]

I'll pick one thing and be like, yeah, I don't like that dog exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

Or, like, wow. He just has a picture of him with a dog because he knows it's going to get him swiped, right.

[Carrie Miller]

Pick number one with an animal, even.

[Courtney Miller]

If they really like. Because it's so hard to tell the authenticity on that fricking app. But like, yeah, then this one guy seemed cool. I think he had like a reference that I liked in his bio and he was into film and I'm always wanted to like date. I want to date people in my industry or whatever. He was like very eager to move to the phone, like texting and stuff. And I was very naive and like unsure. But I was like, okay, I guess. And like, but I let him know I was like, yeah, I'm kind of just on here to talk. I'm not really ready for that. And he's like, oh my God, totally. Like, I really, I love talking to you. Like, it's totally fine. But then like every like day he would be like, so like date. Like, let's go. And I'd be like, no, like I'm not really ready for that. Like, well, whoa, wait, come on. Like we could just go on one date and then we don't have to go on another one for a while.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh no, that is, that is the date equivalent of just the tip.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, yeah. It's so true. It's like, what could happen on this, on his one shot? Like then he knows it's his one shot and then like, what's he going to do?

[Ian Hecox]

Just once, Come on, baby.

[Carrie Miller]

One day.

[Courtney Miller]

He was very, very persistent and he came across very poorly. Whether that's what his intention was. Yeah, I'm sure it's no intention to come across anyway. But I literally had to be like, hey, listen, like I don't. I'm just on here to talk. And I'm like, I want to make it you clear, like I'm, I'm not trying to go on a date. And he was like, you're right. Like the last thing I would want is to lose talking to you. Like, I, I like, that's totally fine. He doesn't know you either though.

[Carrie Miller]

He's so swep.

[Courtney Miller]

He was like, people are complex. Like men more so than women. Like the female skin is much more elastic and stretchy than male skin. And I was like, haha, wow. As a joke. I was like, haha, wow. Didn't know I was talking to a serial killer. Haha. Good for you, good for you. And he was like, I was just saying that people are complex. Oh God. And then like, I was like, I eventually started to, like, kind of start to distance. Like, you know, slow motion goes.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. You don't want to set him off. Even though, good thing you didn't give him your number.

[Courtney Miller]

But then he flipped out. No, I did. That was the messed up thing that was all over text.

[Ian Hecox]

No.

[Courtney Miller]

And he. I was like, hey, man. Like, this is really overwhelming. Like, he was starting to send, like, long, long stuff. He was also kind of trying to send me YouTube videos he was in. So I don't know if he, like, knew I was from Smosh. That's also a huge anxiety I have with dating apps. Surely that's why, like, I can't. On Bumble. I can't put myself out there first. And then some guy being like, the girl from Smush hit on me. What a dummy. Like, my worst.

[Ian Hecox]

I wouldn't worry about that.

[Courtney Miller]

I know, I know. I've worked through it. I worked through it with the bumbling queen on. On that. On that show, but. Oh, yeah, yeah, he freaked out. He was like, I. I can't believe I'm losing. Like, I can't even remember what he said. I might even have screenshots. But, like, he was having a meltdown over text, and I was like, hey, you're really overwhelming. Like, you're freaking me out. I gotta go. I'm sorry. And I blocked his number.

[Carrie Miller]

Good for you. Good for you. You gotta do it. You gotta send your back.

[Ian Hecox]

I think Carrie brings up a good point, though. She's like, he doesn't even know you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. To hold onto you, like, so tight. It's just.

[Courtney Miller]

That's true.

[Carrie Miller]

That's so insane.

[Courtney Miller]

Then you know what's crazy? I just forgot. Months and months later, we were at that place. We like to go dancing. All of us were there, and we had a couple girlfriends with us, our group. And I remember at one point, this girl that we were with had grabbed me and moved me away from someone. And I was like, what's going on? And then two weeks after that night, I get a text. I guess I'd unblocked his number to see if anything would pop up, like, if he was gonna kill me or something.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, no.

[Ian Hecox]

Give him a second.

[Carrie Miller]

I didn't show up at your house.

[Courtney Miller]

So I had unblocked him prior. And then, like, that night, that dance night happened. And then two weeks after that dance night happened, I got a long text.

[Carrie Miller]

Hey.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I don't know if you remember me, but I saw you and I tried to talk to you, but your friend pulled me away. Or pulled you away from Me.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

So my friend Loki saved me because she's.

[Carrie Miller]

She, like, she knows.

[Courtney Miller]

I think she just saw a guy trying to talk to me, and she's like, ew. And just, like, grabbed me away.

[Carrie Miller]

That would have a friend sometimes.

[Ian Hecox]

That would happen occasionally because I. I remember. I don't know if it was from that time, but. But yeah, we. We all go out in a group to this. This fun dance night. And I remember there was a guy that was, like, trying to, like, talk to you or trying to talk to the group. He was trying to, like, work his way in because we're all having a good time in our little circle.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, God.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. I don't even remember seeing him at all. And I also, like, wouldn't. Seeing pictures and seeing him in person, like, I don't even think I could connect the dots sometimes.

[Ian Hecox]

Was he just kind of like a white guy with dark brown hair?

[Courtney Miller]

Very basic. I can't tell any of those dudes apart.

[Ian Hecox]

But, like, I can't tell myself apart from any other white guys.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I look in the mirror myself, like, who are you? I go, yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

I'm like.

[Courtney Miller]

But he was like, yeah, I guess I understand why your friend moved you away from me, but I hope you're doing well. And I was like, oh, again, maybe was a nice guy. No.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Hell no.

[Carrie Miller]

You're like, thanks, Block.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, it's just unfortunate he came across that way. Like, I just want to say, because I'm not trying to, like, badmouth a human being. Like, for sure, for sure.

[Carrie Miller]

They're going through scary stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

Weird. Don't talk about skin to a girl you don't know, dude.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. I saw one profile recently that was like, I like our ideal first date. And he was like, I know a short hike nearby. And it's like, dude, why would you advertise that it's short? Because that sounds like I'm gonna go on this hike with you and you're gonna murder me. Immediate, slow commitment, short hike. It's really short. You won't even notice it.

[Ian Hecox]

It'll be short for you because you're only going out.

[Carrie Miller]

Exactly. But also, I've. I've asked a guy to go on a hike as a first date. And he was like, you should never go, like, on trails with a stranger. And I was like, bro, I was thinking, like, Griffith park, like, public, like, something really, like, chill. And he was like, you should be safer. And I was like, fuck you. So I could see both side. I mean, there's certainly A line where it becomes serial killer. And I don't think I crossed that.

[Ian Hecox]

But I try to be. Yeah, I try to be as un. Serial killer as possible on dating apps because I. I realize the. The dangers that are inherent with.

[Carrie Miller]

With something like that.

[Ian Hecox]

So I'm always like, it's me. Tough. Very public place.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. For me, I go, hey, it's so easy to kill you, but I won't.

[Carrie Miller]

You just squash it immediately. Like, look, could kill you. Let's just get that out of the way. I don't want to. I want to date you. Will you go on a hike with me? It's really short.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't know if. I don't know if I mentioned it on the pod, but if you want to talk about being like, yeah, let's.

[Carrie Miller]

Talk about your preferences, Ian.

[Ian Hecox]

Preferences.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So. And I'm sure you might. You might be the same. I feel like a lot of people in LA are. Have this. Have this requirement, no actors.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, interesting. It's definitely. I'd say it's an orange flag on my end. Come on.

[Courtney Miller]

Sam Lerner is like. He's like, there's some great actor, but he's some brilliant comedic actors.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, but. Well, also. Sam Lerner.

[Courtney Miller]

Sam Lerner is Olivia's boyfriend.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, okay. I'm like, who are we talking about?

[Ian Hecox]

He also has like, he. He actually is an employed actor.

[Carrie Miller]

Well, I guess it's hard to tell moments. That's not.

[Courtney Miller]

You're an actor and.

[Ian Hecox]

No, I'm not.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yes, you are. You're acting right now. You're trying to act cool.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, no, I am.

[Carrie Miller]

Never asked.

[Courtney Miller]

I just am joke.

[Carrie Miller]

I was born this way, but I get it. Because dating an actor, it's. It's not like a steady gig. And also, two. Two actors dating like, that can be turbulent, I'm sure. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, watching two series talk to each other, two shining stars could be tough.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, I don't know. Like, I just. I. The actor life is. Is not. Is not exactly a. A steady non.

[Carrie Miller]

Tournament emotionally, financially. It is a roller coaster. And that's like supposed to be.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And it's like I admire people for. For chasing after that dream. It takes a certain kind of crazy to think you can come to LA and you, and you. You of. Of maybe 300,000 other actors, you think like a million. You are going to be the one that is going to make it. And there's only a small. There's only a small group of people that are gonna get that role.

[Carrie Miller]

That chance yeah. And so they have to have that inflated confidence. They have to have that, like, yes, it's me. I got this.

[Courtney Miller]

And Ian's basically saying, I can't date you because I don't believe in you.

[Carrie Miller]

Because who the fuck do you think you are?

[Courtney Miller]

That's so sad.

[Carrie Miller]

She's got too many dreams. She's shooting too high. That's not.

[Courtney Miller]

Dreams are too big. Get out of my ass.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, if you want to. I mean, if you want to be an actor, I mean, it's. You might have a better chance moving to, like, Georgia or Vancouver.

[Carrie Miller]

Vancouver. It's tough, no matter what, because you're trying to be on, like, there's only so many shows, movies. I mean, there are a lot of things and opportunities out there.

[Courtney Miller]

And even if you're incredibly talented, you could just have, like, one physical detail that eliminates you entirely.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, it's. You're just up against so many other passionate people. So.

[Ian Hecox]

Not to say that it's not impossible. And, like, you know, there's obviously, like, if you. If you're. If you can become a career actor, like, there's. There's also great money to be made in commercials.

[Courtney Miller]

So, yeah, actors, guys, just know if you're an actor, you can do anything. Except date Ian.

[Carrie Miller]

That's right.

[Ian Hecox]

Right.

[Carrie Miller]

Because. Because he thinks you can do anything. But also, maybe you definitely won't make it.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Right.

[Courtney Miller]

Can I tell you guys, I want to. This is a bit of a change of subject, but I can literally hear my neighbor right now. Is she talking about this morning? Dude, Dude, I hope she can't hear. I love the stories about her, but I do. I actually do want to share that audio clip to the people of the podcast, because I've been tweeting what she said, but, like, dude, this morning I woke up to her going, now her. She just.

[Carrie Miller]

She's so mad. Why is she so mad all the time? I feel bad for this woman.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. I. But sometimes when she's. Okay. So, guys, I have this neighbor. She lives right next to me, and I feel like she's just always screaming at her phone. But sometimes you can't tell if she's happy or mad because she's just excited or verbally abusing her boyfriend over the phone. It is awful.

[Ian Hecox]

I think maybe. Maybe the first thing to do is to verify that she's actually talking to someone.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, you can hear her talking about. Sometimes you hear. You hear her. And, like, I've talked. Talk to her like, she is a person. She's. She's like, she's like.

[Carrie Miller]

She's like. It's just the phone that sets her off.

[Ian Hecox]

Jeez.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, it's her phone voice this.

[Ian Hecox]

I guess she didn't set her date preferences that well.

[Courtney Miller]

Dude, I think she's been with this guy for so long, but they're just like fighting. So. Yeah, Kevin. Kevin's gonna put the audio. Audio clip right here. Lies and bullshit. Sick of your crap.

[Carrie Miller]

You're not a nice person. What did you call me up for? To accept me for you?

[Courtney Miller]

Call me back in 10 minutes, I need to get some soup. That way. She ended the call, though. Call me back in 10. She's literally parading this man yelling at this and then goes, call me back in 10 minutes. I need to get some soup. Are you kidding?

[Ian Hecox]

You should, you should. You should give her like a little get well package with some like, throat. Throat coat tea. Because how can you scream that constantly and not just like the horse you put.

[Carrie Miller]

You drink soup and it heals your throat. The warmth and the vegetables. She's. She's just rejuvenating for the next call. She's ready.

[Courtney Miller]

And it's been happening for as long as I've lived here.

[Ian Hecox]

And it sounds so clear. Like, does she leave her door open or something?

[Courtney Miller]

No, I think it's just our doors.

[Carrie Miller]

Like, I don't know, they're just not like, soundproof.

[Courtney Miller]

Here's the thing. I complain and I talk, but since this quarantine, I've been filming, filming myself screaming in my apartment quite a bit. So now I'm no better than she is.

[Ian Hecox]

Maybe she has a podcast where she talks about you.

[Courtney Miller]

Dude, it's dangerous. I think the scary thing was like. I think there was a part of me that was worried that she had Covid and wasn't telling anybody.

[Carrie Miller]

Why?

[Courtney Miller]

Because she was on the phone really distraught, talking about, like, coughing and how she's not going to talk to anybody and she's not gonna see anybody and she's gonna take care of herself. And then a couple days later, I saw like a package, bouquet of flowers at her doorstep. And I was like, oh, God, what is going on? This is scary. But yeah, I'm literally no better than she is. Cause just yesterday I'm screaming, my son isn't gonna graduate for this frickin sketch. Also belting Disney music for karaoke live streams. Oh, yeah, I'm obviously no better.

[Carrie Miller]

True, true. I mean, we're all doing that shit. Dude, someone. This is really funny because it connects to the dating app thing. Somebody on there's this app I'm on called Meet Mindful and it's like a spiritual dating app. And I'm talking to this guy who's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I have it. And I was like, oh my God. He's like, I don't know what to do.

[Ian Hecox]

He's like, I just ate some garlic. That'll fit.

[Carrie Miller]

He was like, what should I do? And I was like, okay, well why.

[Courtney Miller]

Is he asking a girl on a dating app what to do?

[Carrie Miller]

100. But, but here's the thing. I told him some stuff. I'm like, vitamin C is great for your immune system. They're saying that's helping a lot. Just like, take care of yourself, man. And I have not heard back.

[Ian Hecox]

He's probably dead, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh my God. I can't believe my credit card companies are emailing me the basics on the virus. Like, come on, you can find information.

[Ian Hecox]

It's a spiritual dating.

[Carrie Miller]

Apple, SoundCloud. Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

How many, how many guys but not spiritual.

[Carrie Miller]

You think the bar is high, like.

[Courtney Miller]

Chakras and stuff, right? It's like that.

[Carrie Miller]

Just like people who do yoga, people who meditate. It's just like, it's a way of lifestyles.

[Ian Hecox]

How many guys have long hair or man buns?

[Carrie Miller]

Almost all of them do it. And it's unfortunate that I'm not into that either. If, if. I mean it's definitely not been the most fruitful app. But I had to check it out because I do have a lot of, you know, lifestyle perks, quirks, I guess you would say. So I had to check it out.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh.

[Carrie Miller]

And I saw like, dude, there's some, there's some people on there that seem so interesting. But it's the thing that like they created a profile when it came out or something and I just haven't been. That's why they haven't gotten back to me because everyone makes a profile and they like ditch it. So I've reached out to like people. I just never heard back. That's definitely why they're not getting back to me.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. The only reason, obviously. Yeah, you care, baby.

[Carrie Miller]

They just, they just don't know that I'm waiting in their likes.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say I have like, like I do have like weird random hang ups of like, I guess not a hang up. But like I definitely want to date someone who's like, we are able to like afford the same things because I'm not like, I'm not obviously. David Dobik Rich got it right for sure. But you know, I want to be Able to, like, you just don't want no scrub, and I don't want no scrub. I guess that's what I gotta try. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Carrie Miller]

Someone who's. Who's able to take care of themselves.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't. I'm not, like, they need to be making more than me, but, like, you.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, No, I don't. I don't need a bunch of, you know, presents all the time. Not that kind of girl. But I do want somebody who can, like, be an adult and. And manage their finances. For sure.

[Ian Hecox]

That's respectable and just, like, not have to rely. Like, like, you don't want somebody that's dependent on you.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, dude, I dated someone who was like, I want to spend money. So, like, I don't want to go out to get food. And I'd be like, that's fine. I'll just pay for it. You know, we've all, like, had that where we're like, dude, I want to fucking eat out. So, like, if it's up to me.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, as low key. It sucks when you get suddenly or sudden, someone's mom in a relationship.

[Carrie Miller]

It's real.

[Courtney Miller]

It sucked. So we got 10 minutes left. Ian, do you want to do the shoot, dude?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Do you want to take it this time?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I can read it.

[Ian Hecox]

All right.

[Courtney Miller]

All right. So, Carrie, you're encountering your first shoot, dude. And I'm really proud of you guys for making it through this podcast and without any awkward silences. So that's cool, because this is weird. Just so you guys know.

[Ian Hecox]

Y.

[Carrie Miller]

You guys know this is weird, but it wasn't super obvious that it was weird till now, so good job.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I'm now making it weird because it was weird.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I got. I got. I gotta get. Yeah, I'll continue that later.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, God, here we go. I just wanted the weirdness to happen just a little bit, you know?

[Carrie Miller]

It's happening right now.

[Ian Hecox]

We waiting for that shoot, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm waiting for you guys to know.

[Carrie Miller]

We're just happy.

[Ian Hecox]

I was gonna say that. That I'm gonna start doing yoga so I can get to 6ft Feet.

[Carrie Miller]

There you go.

[Courtney Miller]

Hey, Ian, how do you. We're all rooting for you.

[Ian Hecox]

Some crystals, just nice chakras.

[Carrie Miller]

Maybe you'll stretch. Right, dude?

[Courtney Miller]

All right, short kings. But also. It's okay, dude.

[Carrie Miller]

It's. You're perfect as you are, man.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm not. I'm not a short king. I'm like. I'm like.

[Courtney Miller]

Our dad is 5, 10.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm like a. What's like, what's like not a king, but just like in the middle.

[Courtney Miller]

Right.

[Carrie Miller]

Ranks just like great as you are.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, like, what's like in like the sort of like hierarchy of a kingdom? He was like, no, I truly don't.

[Carrie Miller]

Want it to come off as like, hype making.

[Courtney Miller]

No. Yeah. I also want to. Yeah. Let's disclaim really quick. Like, we're not. No, you don't. Honestly, you talked about. You're like, listen, I'm tall and I'm not. You're not like looking for some basketball player level insanity. Like, you're. You just hit me up like Griffin.

[Carrie Miller]

If you're listening, dude.

[Ian Hecox]

It's all. It's all about the energy. Like, it's all about vibes.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Because even when you do meet a tall guy, they're not.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, like you said, dude.

[Ian Hecox]

No, there's a lot of. I met some short guys that are like, yeah, they're cool. If I were a girl.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I'd hit that.

[Carrie Miller]

Okay. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

All right. I have this. The freaking shoot dude right here.

[Carrie Miller]

I had it the whole time.

[Courtney Miller]

I just wanted to make it weird for you. Hell yes.

[Ian Hecox]

This is a girl. Shoot dude right here.

[Carrie Miller]

Shoot dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot dude. Shoot dude.

[Ian Hecox]

Shoot dude. Shoot dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot dude. Shoot, Shoot dude. Shoot dude. Okay, I hope I'm pronouncing this name right or maybe it's a fake name, I don't know, but. Demitasse Debutante.

[Carrie Miller]

Well done.

[Ian Hecox]

Nice.

[Courtney Miller]

So I had just gotten out of a bad long distance relationship where he cheated on me with my best friend in the same state. It was my first breakup, so it hurt real bad. I started spending a lot of time with my good friends. He and I got fairly close and I started falling for him. I finally decided to tell him how I felt and ask him out because I knew I would regret it if I didn't. After I told him, there was an awkward silence before he told me that he was gay, but he wasn't out to anyone yet. That is a shoot dude on its own. But it gets worse.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh.

[Courtney Miller]

After we got back from summer break, he asked me to talk to a girl for him to see if she was into him. I proceed to say, I thought you were gay. Upon which he told me that he was trying to experiment after another awkward pause. To this day, I do not know if he's legitimately going through some self discovery or if he was just trying to reject me without hurting me badly.

[Carrie Miller]

And he was like, oh, oh, shoot. I thought, oh my God. Shoot dude, shoot dude, shoot that's like.

[Ian Hecox]

A sad shoot, dude. Like, I don't even want to be like, shoot, dude. I'm just like, shoot, shoot, dude.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, that one hurt. Hurts, man.

[Ian Hecox]

I just feel bad for like all parties involved.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. This guy's confused and he's not keeping his stories. Like, oh, I was just experiment. That's. I mean, that's tough to. To play around.

[Courtney Miller]

Asking her to ask another girl if she was in him. Are you kidding me? That is just bad taste.

[Carrie Miller]

That's ice cold.

[Courtney Miller]

Ice cold like that. Oh my God.

[Carrie Miller]

That's a whole lack of awareness, man. That sucks.

[Courtney Miller]

And that's not cool if you. If he was lying and saying he's just. He's gay, just not out to anybody. What a fucked up way to have you guys on a bitch.

[Ian Hecox]

Have you guys ever had a crush on a guy that was in the closet?

[Carrie Miller]

There were high school crushes that. Now I see that it wouldn't have worked out.

[Courtney Miller]

I had a boyfriend early high school. Like not even a real boyfriend. Like two weeks, you know, and then he ended up to be gay. But like, like he.

[Carrie Miller]

He told you and you broke out.

[Courtney Miller]

I think I found out like a year later. Or like he. He like came out to people a year later. I don't think he. Maybe he was bi when I, when I was first, like into him. He broke my heart.

[Carrie Miller]

Really. It happens, man.

[Courtney Miller]

It is what it is. It is what it is. It's just a clip that's going around on TikTok.

[Carrie Miller]

Oh, God.

[Courtney Miller]

Feels so unfold. I don't even know what accent that is. Wow. That was a shoot dude. I'm sorry. Demitase.

[Carrie Miller]

Sorry. Dematase.

[Courtney Miller]

Demi Timete.

[Ian Hecox]

That's a fun name, dude.

[Carrie Miller]

The whole. The whole thing, you know, the breakup, cheating with the best friend. It's all.

[Courtney Miller]

It's rough. There's layers to that. That's getting.

[Carrie Miller]

That's going through it, man.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. And to those listening or viewing, if you want to submit a shoot dude moment, whether it's anonymously or with your name on stamped right on there so the whole world can know what you went through, you can send those emails to shootdudmash.com and it's shoot with two O's and dudewith two O'[e-mail], i'm gonna send some.

[Carrie Miller]

I'm send some Shoot dudes.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I honestly have been tempted to send some anonymous shoot dudes, but like, I know Kevin's like reading them or Kiana's like reading them and I'm just like like, don't tell anyone.

[Carrie Miller]

Stop talking about your life and shoot you, Courtney. Stop sending stories. We know this is about you.

[Courtney Miller]

I know. Yeah. But thank you guys for being on this pod with me. And despite you, thank you for having me. Each other.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, thanks for sitting through that, Court. I really appreciate you being so cool about all this.

[Courtney Miller]

So it's not happening.

[Ian Hecox]

You're gonna be the flower girl?

[Courtney Miller]

No, I've already was a flower girl for my older sister. I'm not doing it again.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, she. Courtney's like a. She's been there, you know?

[Courtney Miller]

I shouldn't have done that.

[Carrie Miller]

She'd probably have to, like, are you.

[Ian Hecox]

Gonna walk me down the aisle, Court?

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah. I think she should give you away to me.

[Courtney Miller]

I'll be your daddy.

[Carrie Miller]

Yeah, give Ian away.

[Ian Hecox]

Please don't ever say, I'll be your daddy. I don't.

[Carrie Miller]

I think that's nice. I think that's a nice thing to say to someone.

[Ian Hecox]

Can you just say. Can you just say angry, though?

[Courtney Miller]

I'll be your daddy.

[Carrie Miller]

Bravo.

[Ian Hecox]

Love it.

[Courtney Miller]

The cops are coming for me now. Wow, this was fun. Ian, you're the host, so you take us out.

[Ian Hecox]

All right.

[Courtney Miller]

Hosting.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I feel like you were taking it. I feel like you were taking us.

[Courtney Miller]

Out, but it's just so natural to me. I'm sorry, but you take it.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay.

[Carrie Miller]

Take us out.

[Ian Hecox]

Courtney, Carrie. It's been a time. It's certainly been.

[Carrie Miller]

I've had a great time.

[Ian Hecox]

Good.

[Courtney Miller]

I had a great time.

[Ian Hecox]

Great. Well, this was a good. This is a good first date. Thanks for Third wheel in it, Courtney.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, God.

[Carrie Miller]

Thanks for facilitating.

[Courtney Miller]

Shane was originally gonna be on this episode so that I wasn't third wheeling this.

[Carrie Miller]

But wait, just be me, Shane, and Ian.

[Courtney Miller]

No, no, like us four.

[Carrie Miller]

That'd be weird as hell. No offense, Shane. I would be great to have you.

[Courtney Miller]

We're prepping for a new show that we're gonna be testing out. So he's.

[Carrie Miller]

And he's nice. Nice.

[Ian Hecox]

And then.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, subscribe rates five stars.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Podcast is doing great, but it could even do better with the help of you guys. So make sure you rate it 5 stars on the.

[Carrie Miller]

The.

[Ian Hecox]

Your favorite podcasting app, Leave a review. That's a podcast.

[Courtney Miller]

And also check out my sister. She puts out really, really silly, cute, fun content.

[Carrie Miller]

I'm around. I'm hanging. I'm on there. Check me out, guys.

[Ian Hecox]

All right, well, it's been a pleasure.

[Carrie Miller]

This been a blast.

[Ian Hecox]

And I'll see you guys later.

[Courtney Miller]

Bye. Bye. Yay.

[Carrie Miller]

Bye. Bye.

[Courtney Miller]

Bye.

[Carrie Miller]

Bye. Bye. Thank you for having me. Smosh. No problem.