Snap Judgment – "Loves Actually / Fever" (Feb 19, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of Snap Judgment, hosted by Glynn Washington, dives deep into stories about love, trust, and devotion—stories with feverish heart, exploring the extraordinary lengths people will go to care for one another. The two-part episode starts with a sweeping, unconventional love story ("Loves Actually") of Mill and Carolyn—or how love endures, adapts, and finds new form amid illness and heartbreak. The second story, "Fever," recasts the concept of love through the lens of trust and loss in an unexpected human–animal relationship at a bonobo sanctuary in the Congo.

"Loves Actually": Devotion Through Change

Setting the Stage (01:51–03:40)

• Glynn opens with reflections on the vows that bond us, the promises couples make, and how life often forces us to reinterpret what "for better or worse" really means.
• “Life has a way of lifing. And there are many, many ways to keep a promise.” – Glynn Washington [01:59]

Mill & Carolyn: The Early Days (03:40–05:26)

• Mill and Carolyn meet in Colorado in 1987, drawn together by a shared love of garage sales, pottery, and each other's company.
• “She was hugely into pottery. … I learned how to spot pottery.” – Mill Markle [03:40]
• Their courtship is filled with warmth; Mill recalls running Carolyn baths, pouring wines, and unexpectedly proposing with: “Well, I had planned on it for Christmas, but since you ask, here's the ring.” – Mill Markle [05:03]

Health Challenges: MS Diagnosis and Its Consequences (05:32–07:45)

• A few years into marriage, Carolyn’s strange symptoms lead to an MS (Multiple Sclerosis) diagnosis.
• Mill describes how Carolyn faced the progression with grace, even as it meant giving up familiar comforts (like beer and sports), new medications, and eventually, plans for children.
• “We made the decision there would be no child. Carolyn at times would say to me, you need to leave me. … And I told her, no, that's not going to happen.” – Mill Markle [07:08]

Shifting Promises: Carolyn’s Final Act of Love (08:26–12:40)

Carolyn’s Choice

• Carolyn decides to stop treatment, wanting to “let nature take its course.” Mill is stunned, struggling to imagine life without her.
• A pivotal moment: Carolyn expresses, in front of her doctor, her wish for Mill to find a new partner before she dies—then jokes, “I’m going to find her for him.”
  • “That’s the most unselfish thing I have ever heard in my life.” – Doctor [09:29]
  • “But I'm going to find her for him.” – Carolyn [09:43]

Creating a Dating Profile

• Carolyn insists Mill create an online profile, personally dictating what should go on it (“She made it sound like I was better than I thought I was.” – Mill [11:05]).
• They leave out Mill’s marital status, but he is upfront with respondents, explaining his wife’s illness and her encouragement.

Meeting Jan: From Awkwardness to Connection (12:49–16:19)

The First Replies

• Jan, living in Wyoming, notices Mill’s picture. After initial hesitation ("I don't date married men." – Jan [13:30]), Mill offers to let her speak to Carolyn. Carolyn reassures Jan of her intentions: “By no means am I a home wrecker... I would love to meet you.” – Carolyn (as relayed by Jan) [14:28]

Difficult Emotions

• For Jan, the situation stirs up old wounds about infidelity, but she is moved by the genuine love and trust between Mill and Carolyn: “That's the kind of love that I want.” – Jan [16:01]

Building a Relationship

• Mill and Jan talk daily for weeks, discovering a natural rapport, leading to their first in-person meeting halfway between their homes.

The New Normal: Navigating Love, Loss, and Guilt (17:07–37:37)

First Date Nerves (17:07–18:17)

• Jan wrestles with self-worth, determined to “go for something good.” Mill, anxious, braves the date despite fear of rejection: “Why would anybody want a guy that's got a wife that's dying?” – Mill [18:17]

Life as a Threesome (23:55–34:17)

• Jan and Mill’s relationship blossoms, leading to the three living together—Mill sleeps with Jan in one room, Carolyn in another.
• “It was strange having her there. It felt like infidelity.” – Mill [30:00]
• Yet, Carolyn welcomes Jan: “You just need to move in here.” – Carolyn [29:12]
• The setup is emotionally complex. Jan and Carolyn bond: listening to audiobooks, shopping, even squabbling. Jan describes Carolyn as her “best friend.” [35:32]
• They encounter tense moments—Carolyn admits jealousy (“I want her gone”), but later apologizes: “It’s just my way of controlling Mill.” – Carolyn (as relayed by Jan) [33:21]

Closure and Transition (34:17–37:37)

• As Carolyn’s health fails, Mill is her caretaker to the end: “I was right there... I just closed her eyes and gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her goodbye.” – Mill [35:26]
• Jan pledges to take care of Mill; guilt weighs upon her for the “price” of her happiness: “Someone has to die for my life to move on. And that, to me, was devastating.” – Jan [36:03]
• Mill and Jan, now married, incorporate Carolyn’s wedding dress into flower girl dresses, honoring her memory: “I thank God every day for him and her, and I loved her and I always will.” – Jan [37:37]

"Fever": Trusting Love Beyond Words

Brian, Vanessa, and Malou: An Unusual Triangle (41:30–49:51)

Whirlwind Romance in Kinshasa

• Vanessa vividly recounts her lightning-fast relationship with Brian, culminating in marriage and mutual work at the Loli bonobo sanctuary in Congo.
• “The actual time face to face that we spent before we decided to get married was about three weeks.” – Vanessa [41:33]

Malou Enters the Story

• Malou, a rescued infant bonobo and “the international model,” captivates Brian with focused, unwavering affection—leaving Vanessa feeling like “the other woman.”
• “She just knew what she was doing as well...and when she saw him, they just had this moment where like time stopped...from the second Brian, I just knew he was gone.” – Vanessa [41:53]
• “Bonobos... they choose you. … It’s like a laser beam.” – Vanessa [44:35]
• Malou’s love for Brian is reciprocated, seen in their unique games, trust, and deep connection.

Lessons in Love and Trust

• Vanessa describes her jealousy, the humorous disapproval from staff (“Vanill, Malute. I mean, she hates you.” – The mamas [46:03]), but also a growing appreciation for the trust exemplified between Brian and Malou: “In order to be in love, you have to completely trust that person, even though you know that you don’t have control on whether they catch you or not.” – Vanessa [47:33]

Endings and Legacies

• Malou’s unexpected death devastates Brian. Years later, Vanessa proposes using Malou’s name for their daughter, cementing the ongoing presence of this unusual triangle in their family. “He didn’t say anything, but he smiled. And that’s her name.” – Vanessa [49:41]

Notable Quotes

• On the unpredictability of love:
  “There are many, many ways to keep a promise.” – Glynn Washington [01:59]
• On devotion:
  “We had to stay by each other and fight through this, make it happen.” – Mill Markle [07:35]
• On selflessness:
  “That is the most unselfish thing I have ever heard in my life.” – Doctor to Carolyn [09:29]
• On guilt and transition:
  “Someone has to die for my life to move on. And that, to me, was devastating.” – Jan Markle [36:03]
• On trust:
  “In order to be in love, you have to completely trust that person, even though you know that you don’t have control on whether they catch you or not.” – Vanessa Woods [47:33]

Key Timestamps & Moments

• Mill & Carolyn’s early relationship & proposal – [03:40–05:26]
• MS diagnosis & impact – [05:32–07:45]
• Carolyn’s wish for Mill to find a partner – [08:26–10:53]
• Mill and Jan’s meeting & connection – [12:49–17:34]
• First date jitters and Jan moves in – [17:07–30:27]
• Death of Carolyn, aftermath, and future – [34:17–37:37]
• Vanessa’s story — jealousy, bonobo trust, and love – [41:30–49:51]

Tone & Takeaways

This episode threads a tender, honest tone—unflinching about grief, illness, and ethical complexity but brimming with humor, humility, and ultimately hope. Both stories unravel what it means to love—and let go—on someone else's terms, whether a spouse or an animal companion. The willingness to trust, to honor memory, and to remake family in love’s aftermath remain at the center.

Memorable Moments

• Carolyn dictating Mill’s dating profile—with affection and vision. [10:24]
• Jan’s and Carolyn’s first meeting: “It was like I was sitting next to my sister or something.” – Jan [26:39]
• Carolyn’s request for her wedding dress to become part of Mill and Jan’s new beginning. [37:09]
• Vanessa realizing what bonobos teach about true trust and the vulnerability of love. [47:33]

For Listeners

Whether you approach this episode with skepticism or longing, "Loves Actually / Fever" offers a multifaceted meditation on what it means to cherish, grieve, and trust in love—human, animal, or otherwise.