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Loves Actually / Fever

Snap Judgment

Thu Feb 19 2026

Could you choose a lover for the love of your life?

Summary

Snap Judgment – "Loves Actually / Fever" (Feb 19, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of Snap Judgment, hosted by Glynn Washington, dives deep into stories about love, trust, and devotion—stories with feverish heart, exploring the extraordinary lengths people will go to care for one another. The two-part episode starts with a sweeping, unconventional love story ("Loves Actually") of Mill and Carolyn—or how love endures, adapts, and finds new form amid illness and heartbreak. The second story, "Fever," recasts the concept of love through the lens of trust and loss in an unexpected human–animal relationship at a bonobo sanctuary in the Congo.

"Loves Actually": Devotion Through Change

Setting the Stage (01:51–03:40)

Glynn opens with reflections on the vows that bond us, the promises couples make, and how life often forces us to reinterpret what "for better or worse" really means.
“Life has a way of lifing. And there are many, many ways to keep a promise.” – Glynn Washington [01:59]

Mill & Carolyn: The Early Days (03:40–05:26)

Mill and Carolyn meet in Colorado in 1987, drawn together by a shared love of garage sales, pottery, and each other's company.
“She was hugely into pottery. … I learned how to spot pottery.” – Mill Markle [03:40]
Their courtship is filled with warmth; Mill recalls running Carolyn baths, pouring wines, and unexpectedly proposing with: “Well, I had planned on it for Christmas, but since you ask, here's the ring.” – Mill Markle [05:03]

Health Challenges: MS Diagnosis and Its Consequences (05:32–07:45)

A few years into marriage, Carolyn’s strange symptoms lead to an MS (Multiple Sclerosis) diagnosis.
Mill describes how Carolyn faced the progression with grace, even as it meant giving up familiar comforts (like beer and sports), new medications, and eventually, plans for children.
“We made the decision there would be no child. Carolyn at times would say to me, you need to leave me. … And I told her, no, that's not going to happen.” – Mill Markle [07:08]

Shifting Promises: Carolyn’s Final Act of Love (08:26–12:40)

Carolyn’s Choice

Carolyn decides to stop treatment, wanting to “let nature take its course.” Mill is stunned, struggling to imagine life without her.
A pivotal moment: Carolyn expresses, in front of her doctor, her wish for Mill to find a new partner before she dies—then jokes, “I’m going to find her for him.”
- “That’s the most unselfish thing I have ever heard in my life.” – Doctor [09:29]
- “But I'm going to find her for him.” – Carolyn [09:43]

Creating a Dating Profile

Carolyn insists Mill create an online profile, personally dictating what should go on it (“She made it sound like I was better than I thought I was.” – Mill [11:05]).
They leave out Mill’s marital status, but he is upfront with respondents, explaining his wife’s illness and her encouragement.

Meeting Jan: From Awkwardness to Connection (12:49–16:19)

The First Replies

Jan, living in Wyoming, notices Mill’s picture. After initial hesitation ("I don't date married men." – Jan [13:30]), Mill offers to let her speak to Carolyn. Carolyn reassures Jan of her intentions: “By no means am I a home wrecker... I would love to meet you.” – Carolyn (as relayed by Jan) [14:28]

Difficult Emotions

For Jan, the situation stirs up old wounds about infidelity, but she is moved by the genuine love and trust between Mill and Carolyn: “That's the kind of love that I want.” – Jan [16:01]

Building a Relationship

Mill and Jan talk daily for weeks, discovering a natural rapport, leading to their first in-person meeting halfway between their homes.

The New Normal: Navigating Love, Loss, and Guilt (17:07–37:37)

First Date Nerves (17:07–18:17)

Jan wrestles with self-worth, determined to “go for something good.” Mill, anxious, braves the date despite fear of rejection: “Why would anybody want a guy that's got a wife that's dying?” – Mill [18:17]

Life as a Threesome (23:55–34:17)

Jan and Mill’s relationship blossoms, leading to the three living together—Mill sleeps with Jan in one room, Carolyn in another.
“It was strange having her there. It felt like infidelity.” – Mill [30:00]
Yet, Carolyn welcomes Jan: “You just need to move in here.” – Carolyn [29:12]
The setup is emotionally complex. Jan and Carolyn bond: listening to audiobooks, shopping, even squabbling. Jan describes Carolyn as her “best friend.” [35:32]
They encounter tense moments—Carolyn admits jealousy (“I want her gone”), but later apologizes: “It’s just my way of controlling Mill.” – Carolyn (as relayed by Jan) [33:21]

Closure and Transition (34:17–37:37)

As Carolyn’s health fails, Mill is her caretaker to the end: “I was right there... I just closed her eyes and gave her a kiss on the forehead and told her goodbye.” – Mill [35:26]
Jan pledges to take care of Mill; guilt weighs upon her for the “price” of her happiness: “Someone has to die for my life to move on. And that, to me, was devastating.” – Jan [36:03]
Mill and Jan, now married, incorporate Carolyn’s wedding dress into flower girl dresses, honoring her memory: “I thank God every day for him and her, and I loved her and I always will.” – Jan [37:37]

"Fever": Trusting Love Beyond Words

Brian, Vanessa, and Malou: An Unusual Triangle (41:30–49:51)

Whirlwind Romance in Kinshasa

Vanessa vividly recounts her lightning-fast relationship with Brian, culminating in marriage and mutual work at the Loli bonobo sanctuary in Congo.
“The actual time face to face that we spent before we decided to get married was about three weeks.” – Vanessa [41:33]

Malou Enters the Story

Malou, a rescued infant bonobo and “the international model,” captivates Brian with focused, unwavering affection—leaving Vanessa feeling like “the other woman.”
“She just knew what she was doing as well...and when she saw him, they just had this moment where like time stopped...from the second Brian, I just knew he was gone.” – Vanessa [41:53]
“Bonobos... they choose you. … It’s like a laser beam.” – Vanessa [44:35]
Malou’s love for Brian is reciprocated, seen in their unique games, trust, and deep connection.

Lessons in Love and Trust

Vanessa describes her jealousy, the humorous disapproval from staff (“Vanill, Malute. I mean, she hates you.” – The mamas [46:03]), but also a growing appreciation for the trust exemplified between Brian and Malou: “In order to be in love, you have to completely trust that person, even though you know that you don’t have control on whether they catch you or not.” – Vanessa [47:33]

Endings and Legacies

Malou’s unexpected death devastates Brian. Years later, Vanessa proposes using Malou’s name for their daughter, cementing the ongoing presence of this unusual triangle in their family. “He didn’t say anything, but he smiled. And that’s her name.” – Vanessa [49:41]

Notable Quotes

On the unpredictability of love:
“There are many, many ways to keep a promise.” – Glynn Washington [01:59]
On devotion:
“We had to stay by each other and fight through this, make it happen.” – Mill Markle [07:35]
On selflessness:
“That is the most unselfish thing I have ever heard in my life.” – Doctor to Carolyn [09:29]
On guilt and transition:
“Someone has to die for my life to move on. And that, to me, was devastating.” – Jan Markle [36:03]
On trust:
“In order to be in love, you have to completely trust that person, even though you know that you don’t have control on whether they catch you or not.” – Vanessa Woods [47:33]

Key Timestamps & Moments

Mill & Carolyn’s early relationship & proposal – [03:40–05:26]
MS diagnosis & impact – [05:32–07:45]
Carolyn’s wish for Mill to find a partner – [08:26–10:53]
Mill and Jan’s meeting & connection – [12:49–17:34]
First date jitters and Jan moves in – [17:07–30:27]
Death of Carolyn, aftermath, and future – [34:17–37:37]
Vanessa’s story — jealousy, bonobo trust, and love – [41:30–49:51]

Tone & Takeaways

This episode threads a tender, honest tone—unflinching about grief, illness, and ethical complexity but brimming with humor, humility, and ultimately hope. Both stories unravel what it means to love—and let go—on someone else's terms, whether a spouse or an animal companion. The willingness to trust, to honor memory, and to remake family in love’s aftermath remain at the center.

Memorable Moments

Carolyn dictating Mill’s dating profile—with affection and vision. [10:24]
Jan’s and Carolyn’s first meeting: “It was like I was sitting next to my sister or something.” – Jan [26:39]
Carolyn’s request for her wedding dress to become part of Mill and Jan’s new beginning. [37:09]
Vanessa realizing what bonobos teach about true trust and the vulnerability of love. [47:33]

For Listeners

Whether you approach this episode with skepticism or longing, "Loves Actually / Fever" offers a multifaceted meditation on what it means to cherish, grieve, and trust in love—human, animal, or otherwise.

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Transcript

Glenn Washington (0:02)

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Vanessa Woods (0:45)

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Glenn Washington (1:51)

Snappers love, relationship, trust are often. Not always, but often built on a promise that you and me against the world, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. These are big words, maybe even the biggest words there are. But life has a way of lifing. And there are many, many ways to keep a promise. Today in SnapJudgsman's Fever series, stories of the heart, we explore just one of them. Snap probably presents loves. Actually, my name is Glenn Washington. Write your vows very carefully when you're listening to Snap Judg. Now, Mill and Carolyn were a Colorado couple who love going to garage sales. It was their special time until the marriage got hit with a curveball. A big one. And listeners buckle up because from that point on, they had to do things a lot differently. We're gonna start with the garage sales. Snap judgment.

Mill Markle (3:40)

She was hugely into pottery. We would go to yard sales and she would just sit in the car and I learned how to spot pottery. If we found a piece, I'd pick it up, take it to the window of the car and she'd tell me, yes, or no, whether to buy it or not.

Glenn Washington (20:35)

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Vanessa Woods (44:35)

And not like chimpanzees. I mean, chimpanzees, they'll just love anyone. But bonobos choose you. Like they choose one person, and when they do, it's like a laser beam. So when you turn up it's like you're all they can see and you're the most important person in their world. I had fallen in love with bonobos a ton of times before. I mean, you know, Brian was always laughing at me. Like, he was always kind of scared, scornful, because he was the scientist. Like he was a real researcher and he loves all apes for their minds. He wasn't going to sort of get sucked into this kind of like, you know, ape hugging type relationship. But then when Malou chose him, he was just helpless. Malu was with all the other infant bonobos. Malu was only five or so and they hung out all day in this sort of beautiful forest. And so Brian would go up there and he'd squeeze past this sort of little rocky crevice and have to run past the killer bees and hope they didn't wake up. And, you know, there she would be just kind of, you know, lounging round in the leaves or, you know, eating a mango. And she would see him and her whole face would just light up. But as for me, I was the other woman and she knew it. So she would kind of, you know, squint her eyes at me and give me dirty looks and, you know, Brian didn't see any of it. We used to eat breakfast outside on the porch. And there was this one morning where Malou must have been watching us because as soon as Brian went inside to get something or go to the bathroom, she ran down and just knocked over my tea, stole my toast and then ran off. And then later on when I went to go up to the nursery, like all my friends were there, the mamas. They were these amazing women who took care of these baby bonobos. And I would be sitting with them and Malou would just launch herself and just kick me in the head. And the mamas would just think it was hilarious. They would go, vanill, Malute. I mean, she hates you. Then they're like, she'd come running from Kinshasa to kick you in the head. I used to see Brian play this game with her where he threw her up into the air as high as he could. And I mean, he used to play baseball, so, I mean, he can pitch. And she would just laugh. She would just die laughing and she would go completely limp. She would be like 7ft in the air. I mean, if Brian had dropped to her, she would have broken her neck. But she knew that Brian would never, ever let her fall. That no matter what, he would catch her. And it was this kind of trust that for me, it taught me what really being in love was. Because in order to be in love, you have to completely trust that person, even though you know that you don't have control on whether they catch you or not. After we left the sanctuary, Brian and I moved to America. Malou kept growing, you know, kept flourishing. And there was talk of her being one of the bonobos who was going to be released into the wild. I still remember it was springtime and the dogwoods were flowering, and I was sitting outside at a cafe with one of my friends, and my phone rings and it's Brian. And his voice sounds very strange. It's broken. He just says, malou's died. I could just hear it. I knew then that he would never love a bonobo again like he loved Malou. He'll never fall in love like that again. A few years later, I found out that I was pregnant with our first baby, and she was a girl. And so I. I asked him, I'm like, do you want to call her Malou? And he didn't say anything, but he smiled. And that's her name.