
Have you ever wanted something so badly you’d do anything to make it happen? Sixteen-year-old Mohamed decides to dig deep in his religion to take the next step with his crush. There’s no love like young love… especially when it’s a secret.
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Glenn Washington
Snap Studios.
Eric Glass
This is Eric Glass, the host of this American Life. So much is changing so rapidly right now with President Trump in office. It feels good to pause for a moment sometimes and look around at what's what to try and do that. We've been finding these incredible stories about right now that are funny and have feeling, and you get to see people everywhere adapting and making sense of this new America that we find ourselves in. If you haven't listened in a while, I honestly think these are some of the best stories we've ever done. This is American Life. Every week, wherever you get your podcasts.
Glenn Washington
Snap Judgment is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Okay, now you're going to tell me I'm wrong. I know it. There's no need to write me letters. I'm just trying to tell you what happened. See, at our old Snap Studios building, we'd bring our dogs to work, right? And I got this little three legged pit bull puppy, Georgie. The nicest, friendliest, happiest, Scooby Snack, lovingest dog you're ever gonna meet. Maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the best dog and all is well. And then one day, the owner of the building, one of these fellas that wears a suit but not a bad guy, he comes to me and he tells me there's been some complaints. Complaints about what? Well, about dangerous attack dogs on the premises. Dangerous attack? Georgie's all waggling his tail, wondering which wall to lick. Huh? And you've gotta understand, there are certain breeds that can under no circumstances be allowed. So if you tell me you have that breed, we can't allow it. So tell me, what breed is your dog? Well, he's obviously a p. Ah. Think carefully before you answer. Well, Georgie.
Muhammad
Well, he's a.
Glenn Washington
He's a greyhound. Good. So I'm gonna write in my notebook here, but I have it on your authority this dog is a greyhound and not a dangerous animal. You have a nice day. He leaves. But I'm fuming because somebody ratted me out. If it wasn't for this weird little loophole, Snap Studios would be a far less barky place. And that's not how I want to live my life. Here's the thing. I know who the narc is. I see her sneering at me every day. Shouldn't be allowed to bring a dog like that here. She says it's not right. She says it's a ticking time bomb. She says. Georgie, the dog. I'd send her to a baby nursery. The puppy who welcomes robbers and bad guys. Georgie, that's not a greyhound. That's a pit bull. Well, let me see your veterinary license, Dr. Dolittle. Eventually we move to another building, but I walk by her occasionally downtown and she's still with the evil eye, pointing and whispering. I try to tell Georgie to keep it moving, but he just wants to wag his tail at her like she's an old friend.
Muhammad
Bad dog.
Glenn Washington
Then recently for the holidays, we get one of those dog DNA tests to see what kind of pit bull our greyhound really is. We eagerly rip open the results. Border collie. What? German shepherd, American bully. Pit bull. Less than 20%. All of this nonsense. Trying to play the fine print just so I can stick a new label on the same old hound. Today on Snap Judgment, we proudly present the Loophole. The Loophole. My name is Flynn Washington. Pitbull. Greyhounds are the very best dogs there are. When you're listening to Snapdudger. Now, have you ever found yourself in a lose lose situation where you can't see a way out? Next storyteller. He knows what that's like. Over 15 years ago, Muhammad, a Somalian refugee living in Canada. He was just a teenager, a very outspoken teenager. And as such, this story may have some strong language, references to sexuality and corporal punishment. In the middle of all this, Muhammad's relationship with nearly everyone around him was reaching a breaking point. Muhammad, take it away.
Crystal
We grew up as Sunni Muslims in Ottawa, Ontario, in the capital of Canada. I'm from Somaliland. We're in a new country. People are going to night school to learn the language and working during the day and taking care of five kids who are like just bouncing off the walls trying to figure it out.
Muhammad
Friday night we went to school to.
Crystal
Memorize the Quran because that was the most important thing.
Muhammad
Our parents would drop us off.
Crystal
I would be put in a old rickety building.
Muhammad
You're in class and you're stressing out and you get called out in front of the class and you have to recite the Quran, which is in Arabic, a language I do not speak.
Narrator
12 year old Mohammed was part of a big first generation Somali family who came to Ottawa, Canada with hopes of raising good God fearing kids. Which meant that Friday night Koran lessons were non negotiable. Or so his parents thought.
Muhammad
I purposely didn't memorize the thing. The teacher was walking towards me. I talked to all my friends for the last time, like, you know, it's been nice hanging out with you. It's been nice hanging out with you. I remember going up to him and being like, yeah, I didn't memorize it. And then he's like, what? And I was like, that's right.
Narrator
Muhammad and his teacher stared each other down. The other kids in class held their breath.
Muhammad
He came at me and I dodged. It was just me running through the, you know, the aisles and him chasing me, and everyone was laughing and screaming and him getting angrier and angrier. It jumped out onto the window.
Narrator
You jumped out the window?
Muhammad
Yeah, onto the ledge and then ran down the ledge, and I just. I jumped off onto the top of a school bus.
Narrator
When you jumped out the window, were you, like, concerned for your physical safety?
Muhammad
Oh, hell no. At this age, death isn't real. Injury isn't real. Jackie Chan was, like, a huge influence on my life. I knew my escape before I did it. Yeah, you, Jackie Chan, yourself out of this situation 1000%.
Narrator
For years, Muhammad pushed back little by little against everything and everyone. His parents, his religion, and his community.
Muhammad
There was no time to have a conversation. And everyone that was talking to me was talking in a way where they had memorized answers. You know, like, the prophet would say that this is the way we should do things. And, you know, history shows that we do this. If you want to be the best citizen, you have to become this and you have to do this.
Narrator
Muhammad lived among adults who answered his questions by pointing to the Quran. They were too busy treading water to spend longer than that exploring the big philosophical ideas that were always on the boy's mind.
Muhammad
And it was never like, hey, why are we alive? What are we doing?
Narrator
As he got older and navigated high school, there was one kind of question he wanted to ask over and over.
Muhammad
Can we, like, talk about love? For me, love was just taken over by the necessity to live and thrive and survive in this new world. And so for the longest time, I thought nobody was real and I was just dealing with robots.
Narrator
But there was at least one person who felt real. Crystal.
Crystal
She was the quietest person in the room, yet the loudest. And we all knew what her intentions were. I was attracted to that. I was attracted to how kind she was. I was attracted to how tough she was.
Narrator
Crystal couldn't have been more different from Mohammad. She was Christian, but her parents weren't Strict. She'd never been outside of Canada, and yet they felt drawn to each other.
Crystal
But then it went to what do we do now? I wanted to be with her and I couldn't. It would be a dishonor on me and her.
Narrator
Muhammad still answered to a higher power.
Crystal
If I saw a girl, I would have to avert my gaze. Was this something I was trained to do?
Narrator
Well, yes. The higher power Muhammad felt accountable to was God. But there was an even more immediate and omnipotent force that he felt in his life.
Crystal
My mom was Pablo Escobar. She knew everything that was going on in the neighborhood. And honestly, it felt like the entire world. She would be on this couch and she had her spot never moved. That spot was so indented, the cushion was flat because of how often she sat there. And all she did was talk on her phone. You know, there was a lot of laughter, but all of it was weaved with information. What was going on next door, next city, next country.
Narrator
Muhammad's mom had friends in high places.
Crystal
All of the Somali moms wore hijabs or abaya, and you'll only be showing your face. And they would stand in high spots. They're standing on top of hills and they're watching over the neighborhood. And our nickname for them was ninjas just watching over us. My mom, if I left the neighborhood, my mom knew.
Narrator
And if she discovered Muhammad not only dating a girl, but a white non believer, only God might be able to save him from her wrath.
Crystal
I can't like look or touch a girl, but I have the same wants and feelings and I'm struggling with myself and feeling like I'm a terrible person while at the same time having these needs and wants.
Narrator
Muhammad confided in his friends as they walked home together from school. His buddies were his go to in situations like these because they were just as philosophical as he was.
Crystal
We would debate each other on the concept of religion. School didn't matter if we didn't know why we were alive.
Narrator
His friends were Shia Muslims from Kuwait and Iraq who had settled in Ottawa in the 90s. And as a Somali Sunni, Muhammad was super into the way his pals broke the monolith of Islam. For him, Shia cultural and religious practices felt so different from everything else he had grown up with.
Crystal
My friends I met at the time, they had kind of shown up after the first Iraq war. I was fascinated with how he was explaining the religion to me, where everyone else was telling me what to do and how, how to act, as in like a memorized code. That we had to follow. Like, walk out of the bathroom with the right foot. Walk in with your left. His side of religion was all emotional. It was more connected to his spirituality.
Narrator
So they set to work on Muhammad's dilemma, scrolling through theology web forums and listening to scholars on YouTube. And it wasn't long before they stumbled across this loophole.
Crystal
Loophole. You can have this thing called a temporary marriage. Me and my two friends, we worked at it like a team of lawyers to try to figure out what this all meant. It has a contract that has witnesses. You and her have to declare to each other. You don't have to declare this relationship to your parents. You don't have to declare this to the government. It's just between you two.
Narrator
How did it compare to the kind of marriage that your parents had? You know, did you see this as that kind of marriage? Like, where you were gonna move out of the house?
Muhammad
Nope.
Crystal
Nope.
Muhammad
Dating is not an option. Find a good family, find a good daughter of that family, and that's it. You marry, have children, and move on with your life. And for me, that does not work. A temporary marriage, it's the same concept as getting married, but it's honorable in the sense that you're clear as to what your needs are and what you would want and you can communicate about it. And so to me, this was amazing because I didn't understand how I could give up my entire life to one person on the basis of physical needs.
Glenn Washington
I hear that.
Narrator
And you're using the Quran to justify going to third base.
Muhammad
Does any part of that feel wrong? No. I wanted to be an honorable person constantly. And hypocrisy doesn't work for me. Maybe it wasn't well thought out. Maybe it didn't agree with my parents. Maybe it wouldn't be something that I didn't agree with the community. And yet I found some reasoning I could get behind to fulfill needs that I had that I wanted to explore.
Narrator
Muhammad knew he really liked Crystal, but he also wanted to stay true to his interpretation of his religion. With this idea in mind, he asked Crystal if they could talk. They snuck out of their houses and met up at a nearby park.
Muhammad
We were sitting on the bench when we started talking. And then all of a sudden, these clouds formed all around us and it started pouring.
Crystal
And we sat underneath the play structure as it rained. And so we sat in the sand and we didn't touch each other, but we talked to each other. My hands were sweaty. I was confused, but also excited and terrified. I could see that she Was also fidgeting, and I didn't know why she.
Muhammad
Was fidgeting, and I didn't know how.
Crystal
To get this fidgeting feeling off of us. I blurted out that I guess I liked her, and she blurted out that she liked me. And that was the hugest relief.
Muhammad
This is the first time in my entire life that I verbalized my attraction to someone after they had verbalized their attraction to me.
Crystal
It was both exciting and terrifying. That moment when I, you know, sat with a girl alone for the first time, and we're sitting under this play structure and, like, and we're watching the rain fall around us, and there's no one. It's just us in the world.
Narrator
And then he proposed.
Crystal
Hey, I can't be with you. But there is in the religion that's in another sect that you could have a temporary marriage, but the only way it would work is, like, I would have to convert, and you would have to convert into Islam. You have to take some time and think about it for yourself. I want to do it. If you want to do it, we have to do it. Honestly.
Muhammad
I remember her taking a deep breath in and being like, okay, well, that's a lot. And I'll have to think about it.
Narrator
They waited for the rain to clear and the clouds depart and return to their separate lives. Crystal weighed her choices. She was Christian. Would she convert to Islam? The two teens kept their combo in the park on the DL, and they stuck to hanging out just at the school staircase along with the rest of their friends. But Muhammad noticed Crystal did seem to be asking her own questions.
Muhammad
And then she started to hang out with a lot of, like, Muslim girls. And she was taking all of these steps that, no, I totally did not expect her to take. I felt more special to have someone appreciate me and then also be invested enough to ask questions on their own terms.
Narrator
And then one morning in the hallway at school, Right before the bell rang for home class, she said, hey.
Muhammad
I'm in.
Narrator
Crystal had converted. The marriage was on.
Muhammad
Oh, man, I'm ecstatic. I'm in a new world. I'm past the veil. I get to touch another human body. So, yeah, I'm very excited and nervous and worried and confused and anxious and happy and full of wonder. I had all of the feelings. Every period was, like, compounded by 10, and I had more time to think about. I couldn't stay focused on class. I couldn't focus on gym class or math or chemistry. None of it mattered. It was all like, what do we need to do next? And what does it mean for the two of us?
Narrator
So they planned the ceremony in secret with their closest friends. And before they knew it, the big day had arrived.
Crystal
We wore our best clothes, of course. I mean, I'm about to get married. I didn't have a suit. Otherwise that would have brought too much attention. She had her hair really done up nice. We had my two friends. She showed up with her friend. We went together, but not together, and left the neighborhood and met at a different location in a field far away from our home. There was no mosque. There was no synagogue or no temple. We were just in a field with long grass, behind a line of trees, a kind of small forest. No one knew where we went. Like, the ninjas were not watching. Once that was confirmed, like, we had to, you know, loop around and double check. But once we had that freedom, we. You know, basically, we were in the field and we wrote out what. What our intentions were. It was, like, on a piece of paper.
Narrator
The thing about a temporary marriage is that it's temporary. So they had to decide how long the contract would last.
Crystal
We talked about, you know, that our timeline would be six months and that everything was okay for us to do except for sex. And after the six months, our relationship would end. So having this clear piece of paper that said what we could do and could not do and for how long was just, like, strange. But also, that was such a clear relief because I didn't know how to talk to a girl. You know, the whole procedure wasn't. It didn't last long. There was no rice in the air. There was no, you know, band. It was just two people looking each other in the eyes and their declaration of intent for what they would like to do. And it was really cool. It wasn't like, a situation where, like, we were being crafty and be like, yeah, let's do this. It was more like, how could we all experience each other without, you know, hurting each other? We wanted to figure this out together. And we were doing the best we could. And this was, oddly enough, the best we could do. Then I was able to hold her hand and actually touch her. That was so cool. It was so great because, like, I hadn't touched a girl like that. The only people I ever touched was my mom and my sisters. That's it. Super pumped, super happy. We did it.
Narrator
And so, in the eyes of the few who had gathered there that day, Muhammad and Crystal became a temporary husband and wife. But their first act as a married couple wasn't a dance or even a kiss. It was to scan the hills beyond their hidden field for Somali moms.
Crystal
If we got seen in the neighborhood holding hands, the consequences of that would be horrible. I would be attacked by, you know, adults and parents is like, how the hell are you with this, you know, non believer or whatnot? You know, you can't. You're risking your soul.
Glenn Washington
Don't go anywhere. Snappers. When we return, Muhammad finds out if eternal damnation is just around the corner. Stay tuned. Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the loophole episode. When last we left, Muhammad had just used a technical loophole to enter into a temporary marriage with his high school crush, Crystal. As such, this section does have some strong language, a mention of sexuality and corporal punishment, because what could possibly go wrong? Self judgment.
Narrator
Muhammad had officially put an invisible ring on it. He and Crystal were married.
Muhammad
Now, we did the marriage at her house.
Narrator
By that, he means they could actually spend time together at her place without a lot of questions. Her parents had no idea about the marriage.
Muhammad
I got to meet her parents. I got to meet her older brother. I was just a boyfriend that she had. So it was easy, easier. I was almost expected to exist.
Narrator
It was Muhammad's first time breaking bread with a white and non Muslim family.
Muhammad
It was just super weird because they ate food that didn't make any sense to me. What? What's that? It's not lasagna, but it's like.
Narrator
It's like Mac and cheese.
Muhammad
Mac and cheese. I've never had Mac and cheese in my life.
Crystal
Life, thank you.
Muhammad
I've never heard of it before. I'm not going to lie. It was good. And then we would go upstairs, you know, after we were done. And she was always done with her parents, like, immediately. As soon as her parents talked, she's like, okay, we're done here. And then she would take me upstairs to her bedroom. And that was our magical hangout. And, you know, that's where all the marriage happened, so. And when you say marriage, yeah, when I say marriage, I'm talking. All bases covered. We cuddled, we talked. But really, that wasn't the thing. It was not.
Narrator
Go to home. You're gonna go home base.
Muhammad
Oh, no, no, no, no. Third base. As far as we go. It was amazing. I got overwhelmed.
Narrator
It wasn't just the physical stuff that had Mohammed feeling overwhelmed. He had never been anyone's romantic anything before. How soon should he show up at her locker in the morning? Did she really mean it when she said everything was fine? It was like taking a test he'd never studied for. He was Bound to get a couple answers wrong. Like the time he was late to one of their dates.
Muhammad
Hey, it's 8:00. You promised to be there. And you know, we agreed. And I'd be like, ah. I was trying to out for the soccer team. Ah. And then I remember finishing the soccer team and then running as fast as I could with a bunch of flowers I bought after practice to her house to try to cheer her up. I have flowers because I think you like flowers. I saw it in a commercial. Oh, man. I made big gestures because I thought that was more important than small, consistent gestures. I want to make sure you're always happy. I want to make sure you're good.
Narrator
And they were for four and a half months, an eternity in high school, dating years.
Crystal
But after a while, she wanted to see my family and be at my house because she didn't want to just, you know, have a one sided experience. And I told her that would be a terrible idea because. Because my mom would hit her with a frying pan. So it wasn't safe. You know, like, the last people to have come into our house that were white were social services. My family didn't invite people in other than, you know, religious leaders. Her requesting to come into my house was ridiculous, not possible. But she kept pushing. And eventually I was like, all right.
Muhammad
This is one of those big gestures. This is the same as running as like maybe to the factor of five or six of me running as fast as I can from school to her house with a bouquet of flowers. This one was for all of the marbles.
Narrator
But more importantly, in his heart of hearts, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong.
Muhammad
Why the hell not, you know, why.
Crystal
Can'T you come to me? Why am I living like this? I'm gonna bring my wife home.
Narrator
They needed to prepare.
Crystal
It's like going into a mosque. My house is the most religious place in the neighborhood. So she had to come in with a hijab, and she didn't have a hijab.
Narrator
Luckily, Crystal had an idea.
Muhammad
She put on a blanket, just grabs the sheet from her house and she puts on this blanket version of a hijab.
Narrator
The abaya the Somali moms wore was clothing. This bed sheet was a bedsheet.
Muhammad
I feel like I'm on a walk. That's the last that I'll ever know of. Everything was gonna change, but I didn't know how. We're not touching. We're not holding hands as we're walking. Now we're standing in front of my house. Which is the front of the entire neighborhood. And we're looking towards this house, and I'm like, okay, we're going in, and I open the screen door. Then I open the door, and then we come in. And she has to take off her shoes. I take off my shoes. No one is in the kitchen.
Crystal
No one was by the stairs to the left.
Muhammad
This is the first time I'm holding her hand.
Crystal
So we walk down the hall into the living room, and my family's there, siblings spread across the living room, like, on. Some on the floor, some laying on the couch. And my mom is sitting in her designated chair by the phone. And she sees me. Everyone sees me first. And then behind me is this white girl walking in with a sheet on her. I sat her down on the love seat, and everything kind of, like, just stopped. There was no. There was no air. The TV was on. Everyone was frozen in their positions. Like, you know, in the middle of taking a bite of, I don't know, some chips, I look to my mom. You know, she's just sitting there, not moving. I took the remote control and I changed the channel. I'm holding the remote control and flipping through the channel. Tension was stupendously uncomfortable.
Muhammad
And intense.
Crystal
I've never seen someone spontaneously combust before, but that's what it felt like my mom was doing. There was flames coming off her body with rage, and the flames were, like, licking the ceiling. And I remember looking over to my wife. I look at my wife, and I could see that she had regretted all of our decisions in this because she.
Muhammad
Didn'T believe what I said.
Crystal
Like, it couldn't be as possibly bad or uncomfortable or, you know, they wouldn't react the way that I had thought they would. Eventually, we just. We had to leave. I had to take her home. And then I came back, and I was arguing with my mom. I felt like maybe we had pushed it super hard with my family. And in my opinion, I felt like we had to push. I felt like I didn't have any other choice because everyone was just directing. And this is what we do. Why? Because this. That's why. And I do it. This is how you live. I told them I had converted. I told them that they were wrong and that I was right. I told them I was married.
Narrator
Muhammad's parents didn't ground him after their big blowout fight.
Crystal
I was able to go to school. I was able to go tutoring. I was able to do all my things.
Muhammad
But my father wrote me letters on the back of napkins, on the back of receipts. Mohammad, I am proud of you for this and this.
Crystal
My son, I love you very much.
Muhammad
And I am inspired by how you. You see things on this and this. But then he would list things that he would be worried about, like how he didn't like that I questioned these things that were, you know, not safe to question. And he wanted the best for me.
Narrator
His mom, on the other hand, employed different tactics.
Crystal
My mom ended up using other people to work for her, I guess, or do her things. Had to deal with a lot of the communication community members coming to me and telling me that I was a follower, that I was a fool, that I was weak.
Muhammad
Being told you're wrong by people who are your guides and your point of reference is like a very strange place to be. I felt like I was the only being alive. I was in some sort of weird test or simulation. I doubted myself. Yeah, yeah, 100%. 100% doubted myself. Constantly re evaluated, constantly didn't think I was worthy. Constantly thought maybe that I was a crazy person. Honestly, that was probably the most alone I've ever been in my entire life.
Narrator
Mohammad's mom wasn't done with him yet.
Crystal
The conversation came within the week. My mom was quietly setting up my passport. I was told that I'd be leaving the country. My mom was like, we're going to send you to visit our family, and we think it's important that you go back to Somalia and go back to our home country and see things for what they are. When a family dealt with a child that committed a crime, you would get sent back to Somalia. It was the thing to do. I didn't know anyone, but I've heard stories. He stole a car, got caught by the police, went to court, got bailed, and then the family had to send him to Somalia. So he didn't have to go to jail, you know, waste his life. Instead, he got to clear his head in the old country.
Narrator
I mean, but that's stealing a car. I mean, how did you feel being compared to that?
Crystal
I felt confused by it. I didn't, I didn't. I've never heard of anyone else do what I was doing. This is unheard of territory. There was no playbook for this. I told my friends and my wife that the ticket was purchased already, the passport was made. It was just like, I had to go. I didn't have a choice because really the pressure was so intense.
Narrator
Muhammad hadn't seen Somaliland since he was five years old.
Crystal
I think a part of me was excited to get on A plane and go somewhere. You know, I have access to where my parents came from. I didn't know that country. I didn't know that home. Somaliland is like the top half of what used to be Somalia, but after the war it split into two. It's an unrecognized country by the UN even though it's been functioning for a decade and a half with peaceful transfer of power. But you can't fly there.
Narrator
He had to fly to Dubai and get on a chartered flight from there.
Crystal
The plane was like a tiny single engine, like two, two propeller engines. And I feel like if we coughed, the plane moved. It was really rickety and scary. It kind of looked like I was landing in a dust bowl. Not at all what I would expect to see Somalia. Like, I don't know, maybe I thought I would see something more like jungly or more lush, but it was like this rocky landscape.
Muhammad
It's a small, beautiful airport. I've never been outside of Canada as an experiencing human. I remember stepping off the plane and being like, I just walked into my living room, you know, like, it just felt like this is a part of me. I don't know what they say, but maybe your DNA connects to places or whatnot. But I definitely felt connected.
Crystal
I didn't, I didn't expect to feel so comfortable. And as soon as I talked to one person, I completely felt uncomfortable. Things were fast. Things were loud. The colors were bright. The pace of conversation was faster. It was harder.
Narrator
Muhammad was picked up by his aunt and uncle.
Crystal
At night we drive into the desert. I'm watching the city fall behind us and I'm watching the stars and the moon guide us in the headlights. There's hills of what looks like sand mixed with grass, dust bowls. As we're driving, actually, I ask my aunt and uncle, where are we going? And they don't answer me. And then eventually I get loud enough to be like, hey, I need to know where we're going.
Muhammad
And they told me, okay, we're taking you to the highest ranking exorcist in the nation because we think you have a jinn inside of you.
Glenn Washington
Oh my. When we return, Muhammad faces the music. Stay tuned. Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the Loophole episode. My name is Glenn Washington. When last we left off, 16 year old Muhammad had just arrived in Somaliland, a country he hadn't seen since he was five years old. His parents sent him back after discovering his secret marriage to his high school girlfriend. And Muhammad now finds himself in the back of his aunt and uncle's Car driving deep into the desert, minutes away from meeting the highest ranking exorcist in the nation. Snap judgment.
Crystal
At the time, I was being told that I was, you know, follower. I was weak, I was stupid, I was corrupted. And all those were just on me. But now I'm being told that I have a jinn inside me or a demon, and that the person they're talking to isn't me, but a demon. And that really, really pissed me off because I wasn't like, now they're taking my identity away from me and giving it to something else. So all of my actions, all of my thoughts, all of my arguments, for all of my questions, they were putting it onto some other entity. And so now they're gonna take me to this dude who's gonna bring the demon out of me and save my soul. I guess.
Muhammad
The jeep stops, we get out of the car and it's just, we're in this, you know, space of sand dunes and there's this house of sand, of clay.
Crystal
There's a wooden door and we go in and this place is just beautiful. It's filled with some of the oldest relics I've seen. It was like a place a wizard would live in. Even though I was like taking it all in, I was pissed. I was feeling like I was being worn down. So I was worried about for myself. As in like, maybe I'm wrong. You know, I'm fighting a lot and a lot of the world is fighting me back. So maybe I'm wrong.
Muhammad
You know, he might say that I'm possessed too, because they're paying him to check in on if I'm possessed.
Crystal
Sat down in front of this man who walked in with his like really long beard and he was skinny and wore like big, big robes and like, he was wiry. He had a twinkle in his eyes. And he moved slowly, but not because it seemed like he was weak. He just moved as if he. Every movement was meant. He asked me to sit down in front of him on my knees and. And I did. So he sat in a chair in front of me and he put his hand on my forehead and in my head, in my mind, I thought about just losing it. Just start screaming, start kick things, just be like haha. That you dads, you know, and just lose it. And then I realized I would be followed by this for the rest of my life. It would be like, remember that time you had that demon? Or remember that time, you know, you had that outburst and you know, the sheikh was trying to get it out of you. And you just started calling us all names and stuff. Definitely the demon. And it would have been for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be a person. I would always be this demon that controlled my life and caused all these things. In that moment when he had his hand on my forehead, I decided to just stay still and not move. I just kind of expected, you know, him to be, like, yelling at me or hitting me with some sticks or throw some water on me to try to get the demon out. I don't know what the thing would have been. He gently removed his hand and said, there's nothing wrong with this child. He's perfect. I wasn't a fool or weak or an idiot or a follower. He just broke the spell. He gave me validation.
Muhammad
It was the most magical, honest experience I've had.
Crystal
I got up, pointed at my aunt and said, it's your turn.
Glenn Washington
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Muhammad Ali, for sharing your story with the Snap. Now, in case you're wondering, Muhammad and Crystal, they decided to let the clock run out on their marriage contract and not re up. Young love, young love, ladies and gentlemen. But do not worry, Muhammad is doing his thing these days as an artist and a comedian. He just got back to Canada after spending the past few years years working and performing in Southeast Asia. To find out more about Muhammad's latest projects, make sure to check out the website snapjudgment.org Special thanks to Zaydah Hassan and her crew from the podcast Momming while Muslim. And thanks as well to Zahra Norbash. Our original scores by Renzel Goriot was produced by by Regina Bediaco. Now today's show the Loophole. It's a search for the truth. In that spirit, gonna spotlight an amazing artist right here in the Bay Area, Jada Amani and her song honest. Check it out.
Jada Amani
Shared my life on tears with slice gone dance with pythons dare to fight dawn need more progress think like catless let's be honest try to cap list bear scout hair out track my whereabouts flare cloud where clowns stack the stare downs under radar I slip like bad mouth walkway hard one tip to topo knock down down back up that's resilience Bilingual by the real life black Brazilians more like multilingual if we counting digits speak English, Spanish, money and people teachers, champions Plenty of free folk far less free than themselves with demo how we make cradles out of apathy How I turn tables turning back at me.
Narrator
Progress.
Jada Amani
Think like catless let's be honest try to the capless could you reap a bondage if you kneel like Cap Nick? He could be the scar because the man is light skinned less likely bullet scar deeper gather than chocolate or bury the sweetest they bury the sweetest the reason your roots is the deepest.
Glenn Washington
That was honest like Jada Amani. It's produced by SNAP contributor Doc Kim on all the social medias. That song and other music is on the latest smart Bomb compilation, Water for the Town Volume 4, a project series created to raise support for grassroots organizations doing vital work here in Oakland. Proceeds go to the People's Breakfast Oakland Links to All that is Good available right now@snapjudgment.org oh yes. Who else, dear friends, who else will take you on adventures around the world? None other than Snap Judgment. Be the most interesting person your enemies know. Follow SNAP on any podcast platform for more amazing stories. Available right now@snapjudgment.org Snap is brought to you by the team that always plays it by the book. Except for the uber producer Mark Ristich was actually born in a loophole. Nancy Lopez, Pat Mercedes Miller, Anna Sussman, Renzel Goriot, Shayna Shealy, Teo Decat, Flo Wiley, John Facil, Marissa Dodge, Regina Berriaco, Davey Kim, Beau Walsh, David Exume and Annie Nguyen. And this is not the news. No way is this the news. In fact, you get your own marriage annulled. If I performed it on July 16, 2018 at the Silver Oak Winery because maybe I didn't really have a marriage license, you could do that and you would still not be as far away from the news as this is. But this is PP R X.
Podcast Summary: "The Loophole - Snap Classic"
Title: Snap Judgment
Host/Author: Snap Judgment and PRX
Episode: The Loophole - Snap Classic
Release Date: May 22, 2025
In this compelling episode of Snap Judgment, titled "The Loophole - Snap Classic," host Glenn Washington delves into the intricate and emotionally charged story of Muhammad, a Somali refugee navigating the challenges of balancing his cultural heritage with his personal desires in a new American landscape. The narrative intertwines real-life struggles with dramatic storytelling, set to Snap Judgment's signature beats, creating a cinematic auditory experience.
Muhammad, a teenage Somali refugee living in Ottawa, Canada, grapples with stringent cultural and religious expectations imposed by his family and community. Growing up in a devout Sunni Muslim household, Muhammad faces immense pressure to adhere strictly to religious doctrines, leaving little room for personal exploration or emotional expression.
Notable Quote:
Desperate to reconcile his desires with his obligations, Muhammad and his Christian girlfriend, Crystal, discover a controversial "loophole" within their religious framework—a temporary marriage contract. This loophole allows them to formalize their relationship without fully committing to a traditional marriage, thereby avoiding immediate familial and societal repercussions.
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Notable Quote:
The clandestine marriage leads to significant tension within Muhammad's family, culminating in his parents' decision to send him back to Somaliland—a land he hasn't seen since childhood. This drastic action serves as both punishment and a means to preserve the family's honor, thrusting Muhammad into an unfamiliar and challenging environment.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
In Somaliland, Muhammad is taken to meet the highest-ranking exorcist, expecting harsh treatment to "remove the demon" that his family believes has corrupted him. Contrary to his fears, the exorcist offers him profound validation and acceptance, challenging Muhammad's perceptions of his identity and the rigid beliefs he has been taught.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Choosing to let the temporary marriage contract expire naturally, Muhammad and Crystal amicably end their relationship, recognizing the complexities and irreconcilable differences imposed by their circumstances. Muhammad returns to Canada with a renewed sense of self, pursuing his passions as an artist and comedian, while carrying the lessons learned from his tumultuous journey.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"The Loophole - Snap Classic" offers a poignant exploration of identity, cultural conflict, and personal freedom. Through Muhammad's story, Snap Judgment highlights the struggles faced by individuals caught between deeply rooted traditions and the desire for personal happiness. The episode underscores the importance of self-validation and the courage required to break free from oppressive structures.
This episode masterfully captures the tension between individual desires and traditional expectations, offering listeners a deeply human story set against the backdrop of cultural and religious complexities. Snap Judgment continues to excel in presenting real-life narratives with emotional depth and engaging storytelling, making "The Loophole - Snap Classic" a standout episode.