1768: Best of So Money: Wise Lessons from First-Gen Money Pros

Summary

Podcast Summary: So Money with Farnoosh Torabi

Episode: 1768: Best of So Money: Wise Lessons from First-Gen Money Pros
Release Date: December 30, 2024
Host: Farnoosh Torabi

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Introduction

In episode 1768 of So Money, Farnoosh Torabi presents a curated "Best of So Money 2024," spotlighting insightful lessons from first-generation money experts. These trailblazers, all children of immigrants, share their unique perspectives on navigating finances, overcoming cultural barriers, and building wealth. The episode revisits memorable conversations with Vivian Tu, Giovanna Gonzalez, Janice Torres, Shirin Eskandani, and Vrinda Gupta, each bringing forth valuable lessons on financial resilience and empowerment.

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Guest Insights

Vivian Tu: Reclaiming Financial Independence

Timestamp: [03:55]

Vivian Tu, a first-generation Chinese American and former Wall Street trader, emphasizes the shift from traditional hard work to strategic investing as the cornerstone of financial independence. She challenges the conventional American Dream, highlighting that relentless work alone is no longer sufficient to build wealth.

Notable Quote:

Shirin Eskandani [03:55]: "The American dream is dead... It's getting harder and harder to make ends meet on a one income household on a one income salary."

Insights:

• Investment Over Labor: Vivian argues that investing intelligently is now the critical path to financial freedom, rather than solely relying on income from employment.
• Changing Dreams: She observes that aspirations have evolved, with many seeking diverse forms of retirement and financial stability beyond the traditional "white picket fence" model.
• Smart Money Management: By investing early and often, individuals can create passive income streams, reducing dependence on active labor.

Giovanna Gonzalez: Culture and Money Mindset

Timestamp: [07:21]

Giovanna Gonzalez, a first-generation Mexican American author, delves into how cultural expectations shape financial behaviors and mindsets. Her book, Cultura and Cash, addresses the intersection of culture, community, and personal finances, emphasizing the importance of setting financial boundaries while honoring one's roots.

Notable Quote:

Giovanna Gonzalez [07:21]: "My parents lived in survival mode. Their biggest priority was just keeping the lights on and that was success in America."

Insights:

• Cultural Influence: Giovanna discusses how immigrant families often prioritize survival and immediate financial stability over long-term wealth building.
• Financial Boundaries: She advocates for a bicultural approach to money, balancing personal financial health with cultural expectations of supporting family.
• Combatting Shame: Addressing the shame and guilt associated with financial independence, Giovanna encourages readers to prioritize their financial well-being without feeling guilty about supporting others.

Janice Torres: Survivor's Guilt and Entrepreneurship

Timestamp: [12:16]

Janice Torres, a Puerto Rican financial expert and entrepreneur, shares her journey of overcoming survivor's guilt and breaking free from generational financial expectations. Her story underscores the challenges of reconciling personal aspirations with familial and cultural pressures.

Notable Quote:

Janice Torres [12:16]: "I have to sit back and realize like how many opportunities I've been given... to pursue the real American dream, which is to become the most fully expressed version of myself."

Insights:

• Generational Expectations: Janice highlights the tension between fulfilling parents' dreams and pursuing one's own path, particularly in the context of financial success.
• Entrepreneurial Shift: Transitioning from unfulfilling corporate roles to entrepreneurship, she emphasizes the importance of aligning one's career with personal fulfillment and financial independence.
• Family Sacrifices: Acknowledging the sacrifices her parents made, Janice discusses the emotional complexity of breaking generational cycles while striving for personal growth.

Shirin Eskandani: Mindfulness and Authentic Success

Timestamp: [16:39]

Shirin Eskandani, a first-generation Iranian American and former opera singer turned life coach, explores the impact of cultural expectations on personal success and financial well-being. She advocates for mindfulness and authentic living as keys to redefining success on one's own terms.

Notable Quote:

Shirin Eskandani [16:39]: "It's getting harder and harder to make ends meet... Financial independence allows you to live authentically and pursue what truly matters."

Insights:

• Cultural Barriers: Shirin discusses how immigrant families often have rigid expectations regarding career and financial success, which can stifle personal fulfillment.
• Authentic Living: She urges listeners to align their financial strategies with their personal values and aspirations, fostering a more meaningful and satisfying life.
• Mindfulness in Finance: Emphasizing the importance of being mindful about financial decisions, Shirin encourages a balanced approach that nurtures both financial health and personal well-being.

Vrinda Gupta: Closing Financial Gaps for Women

Timestamp: [25:56]

Vrinda Gupta, an Indian American fintech founder, addresses systemic gaps in the financial system that disproportionately affect women. Her company, Sequin, aims to bridge these gaps by providing tailored financial tools and education to empower women economically.

Notable Quote:

Vivian Tu [25:56]: "Women are often left behind by the financial system, making avoidable mistakes due to a lack of education and tailored tools."

Insights:

• Systemic Bias: Vrinda reveals how historical biases in financial products and education have marginalized women, leading to lower credit scores and reduced financial opportunities.
• Educational Initiatives: She highlights the critical need for financial education tailored to women's unique experiences and challenges.
• Innovative Solutions: Through Sequin, Vrinda offers solutions that address financial anxieties and build confidence, aiming to create a more inclusive financial landscape.

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Key Takeaways

1. Shift from Labor to Investment: Building wealth now relies more on strategic investing than merely working hard.
2. Cultural Influence on Finances: Immigrant backgrounds significantly shape financial behaviors and attitudes towards money.
3. Breaking Generational Cycles: Overcoming survivor's guilt and familial expectations is essential for personal financial growth.
4. Authentic Success: Aligning financial strategies with personal values leads to more meaningful and sustainable success.
5. Closing the Gender Gap: Addressing systemic biases and providing tailored financial education can empower women economically.

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Notable Quotes

• Shirin Eskandani [03:55]:
  "The American dream is dead... It's getting harder and harder to make ends meet on a one income household on a one income salary."

• Vivian Tu [05:36]:
  "They've been taught through generations that their money is a better money making tool than their bodies for labor."

• Giovanna Gonzalez [07:21]:
  "We didn't all grow up in the same household... my parents lived in survival mode."

• Janice Torres [12:16]:
  "I am where I am because of all those sacrifices and I wanted to acknowledge them."

• Vrinda Gupta [25:56]:
  "Women are often left behind by the financial system, making avoidable mistakes due to a lack of education and tailored tools."

---

Conclusion

Episode 1768 of So Money serves as a powerful compilation of wisdom from first-generation money experts. Through their stories, listeners gain invaluable insights into overcoming cultural and systemic financial barriers, fostering financial independence, and redefining success. Farnoosh Torabi masterfully curates these narratives to inspire and educate, reinforcing the importance of resilience, strategic investing, and cultural awareness in the journey toward financial empowerment.

For more in-depth discussions and actionable strategies, listeners are encouraged to explore the full episodes of each featured guest through the show notes.

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Join the Conversation:
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Transcript

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Vivian Tu]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Giovanna Gonzalez]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Janice Torres]

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[Shirin Eskandani]

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[Janice Torres]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

So Money Episode 1768 the Best of so Money 2024 Advice from Next gen money experts. You're listening to so Money with award winning money guru Farnoosh Kharabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers and from farn yourself Looking for ways to save on gas or double your double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to SO money.

[Vrinda Gupta]

I have to sit back and realize like how many opportunities I've been given including being able to write this book just by their sacrifice of leaving Puerto Rico. Not knowing what the plan was, not having any support system, and somehow managing to create an atmosphere where I could pursue the real American dream.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Welcome to Sew Money, everybody. I'm Farnoosh Tarabi. We're continuing our reflection of the year's episodes on so money. Today we're celebrating the journeys, the insights and wisdom of first generation money experts. These are the trailblazers who turned challenges into opportunity and are reshaping the financial world and breaking cultural barriers. We're going back down memory lane and revisiting conversations with Vivian Tu, Giovanna Gonzalez, Janice Torres, Shirin Eskandani and Vrinda Gupta. They are incredible leaders, all children of immigrants who have unique perspectives on money, shaped by their culture, their struggles and their triumphs. You're going to hear powerful lessons on overcoming survivor's guilt, breaking generational cycles, investing for independence, and even building financial tools for underserved communities. First up is Vivian Tu, a first generation Chinese American and former Wall street trader who has become one of the most influential voices in personal finance. Known for her straight talk and practical tips, Vivian challenges us to rethink the American dream. And in this clip, Vivian explains why hard work alone isn't enough to build wealth anymore and why investing is the real key to financial independence. Let's listen.

[Shirin Eskandani]

The American dream is dead. And I say that because I feel like it is no longer possible to work your way to rich. I think this country is founded on the principle that if you wake up every day and bust your booty and work hard, you should be able to.

[Vivian Tu]

Have a good life.

[Shirin Eskandani]

You should be able to keep a roof over your and your family's head. You should be able to put food on the table and even ever so often, you know, God forbid, enjoy your life, go on vacation, do something cool. And it's getting harder and harder. We've all seen the headlines. The middle class is shrinking, right? It's harder and harder to make ends meet on a one income household on a one income salary. And I think the dream has changed in the fact that it used to be let me have my white picket fence house with my two and a half kids and my golden retriever. I work this 9 to 5 and I get to retire eventually with a big old pension and live my happy life. It doesn't look like that at all anymore. Some people want to retire at 30 and never wear shoes and live out of an Airstream and travel across the U.S. not my dream. I need a home that's not on wheels. But some people want to retire more traditionally at 60, they want to help their kid go through college, they want to have a vacation home. Everybody's dream is starting to look a little different. Wisteria Lane isn't really a thing anymore. And on top of that, it is getting harder to get to that dream, especially if you aren't financially literate and you aren't investing.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

So that's it, right? It's in the you don't work your way to which you invest your waiter rich. Is that kind of the new model?

[Shirin Eskandani]

A little bit. And I would say, you know, one of the hot things that I say, another hot take of mine is that rich people, we've been sold this myth that they are harder, better workers than we are.

[Vivian Tu]

They're not.

[Shirin Eskandani]

Rich people are so lazy, all they want to do is kick their feet.

[Vivian Tu]

Up, chill by the pool, have a.

[Shirin Eskandani]

Glass of lemonade and eat bonbons. But in a smart way, because they've come to the realization, and I won't say they've come to the realization, they've been taught through generations that their money is a better money making tools than their bodies for labor or their brains for a white collar desk job. They have realized that the faster they can get their money making money, the fewer hours they're going to have to labor for money. And I think that's a principle that we should all take in that it's really important to start investing early and often as much as you humanly can because it allows you to kick your feet up sooner rather than later. And you're making money through a new stream of income that isn't tied to your job.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

That's Vivian too, flipping the traditional script on wealth building and reminding us that money should work harder than we do. If you want to learn more about actionable strategies for saving, investing and navigating today's financial landscape, I've got Vivian's full episode in our show Notes. Next up, Giovanna Gonzalez. Gigi Gonzalez, a first gen Mexican American who shares how cultural expect shaped her money mindset. Hear how she learned how to set boundaries while still honoring her roots.

[Giovanna Gonzalez]

My book is the first book that addresses how your culture and your community and your family affect how you interact with money. Right? Because we didn't all grow up in the same household, right? So picture this like I know you're also the daughter of Iranian immigrants, but me being the daughter of Mexican immigrants, my parents lived in survival mode. They didn't have a lot of money. Their biggest priority was just keeping the lights on and the fact that they were Able to do that, that was success in America. So that's what I thought was being fiscally responsible, paying my bills on time and not getting evicted. I didn't realize that you're supposed to be building your net worth, paying off debt, investing all these things that are so important for our financial wellness. It's also a book that talks about setting financial boundaries with family. Again, none of these white books ever address that topic because the philosophy with them is, you're not a bank, don't loan money to people, or if you do, pretend it's a gift and you're never going to get it back. But with my culture, it's very much expected that if there's some sort of financial emergency or financial hardship, you as the daughter, the one who's quote, unquote, made it and went to college and made something out of herself, is expected to give back and support those that rallied around you when you were. On top of that, there's also a lot of mistrust of financial systems within the Latino community. That's mostly because our family immigrated from countries where the financial systems over there were not as well regulated. So they bring those fears here, and instead of adopting the US Financial system, they are underbanked and keep their money stuffed underneath the mattress, that sort of thing.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

The reviews for your book Cultura and Cash are five out of five across the board. One is this is just to. To feed your ego here. But I do want to point out Kathy in the audience said that your book helped her lay down some of the shame that she had around her personal finances and things like shame and guilt and just negative feelings about money. I think if. If you can walk away from reading a book or having a session with somebody and at least feeling a little bit more confident and not guilty and shameful, I feel that is like 50% of the work.

[Giovanna Gonzalez]

Absolutely. Mindset. So important.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

What are some things that you were shameful of or that you felt were for you at least, just real pain points around money?

[Giovanna Gonzalez]

Yeah, I would say that I felt that I wasn't a good daughter or a good family member if I wasn't putting my family first. And like I said, I really encourage my reader to take a bicultural approach to money where you're not going to act like these old white men that tell you just worry about yourself and don't loan money to anybody because you're not a bank, but that you're also not going to light yourself on fire and forget about yourself along the way. So let's find something in the middle where allows you to create financial stability for yourself, maybe support your family in a minimal way if that's still important to you and they really, really need the help. But it's not until you are in a solid financial foundation that you can then give back to others. Because what happens is our community again, we're taught to give, give, give. And I've done that. I gave, gave, gave when I was buried in debt, had a very low salary and that breeds resentment because you're not doing it out of your own will. You're doing it because your arm's being twisted and this is what you're expected to do. So now that I've learned that it's okay to set financial boundaries and to prioritize my finances too, I give freely and willingly and it feels so much more beautiful to do it on my terms. Inst being felt that you have to.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Gigi's story is a powerful one, a reminder that culture plays a significant role in how we approach money. Her episode dives deeper into the importance of rewriting financial habits, addressing guilt, and creating a path to long term security. If you'd like to learn more, I've got that linked in our show Notes. Next, here is Janice Torres, one of my favorite financial friends, a Puerto Rican trailblazer who here again opens up about survivor's guilt and the courage it takes to break free from generational expectations. You start your book, Janice, by dedicating the book to your parents and writing pages about them, which most authors just thank their parents at the end. Maybe we give them a sentence or two, but it was really important for you to address the sacrifices that your parents made from the start. Tell us why you wanted to begin that there.

[Vrinda Gupta]

Well, I think it's just kind of I have to sit back and realize like how many opportunities I've been given, including being able to write this book just by their sacrifice of leaving Puerto Rico, not knowing what the plan was, not having any support system, and somehow managing to create an atmosphere where I could pursue the real American dream, which is to become like the most fully expressed version of myself that I can. And so I think that's something that a lot of first generation kids can absolutely relate with, is just knowing that a lot of what we have going on, whether it's being able to go to college or get a job in a big fancy corporate office, like so many of those opportunities were not even realms of possibilities for our ancestors. And so I know that I am where I am because of all those sacrifices and I wanted to acknowledge them.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

And you also acknowledge that the dreams that your parents had for you and their children different than what you eventually realized was the real dream for you. And so there is this maybe sometimes friction even. I've had other people on the podcast who say this, that with their immigrant parents, the narrative, the hope and the dream was very different than what their kids actually realized, is what they were really wanting for. And so how did that go? Because I know you did go down. We've had you on the podcast. And I'll put that link in our show Notes where you talked about, you know, your comeuppance going to college on a scholarship, but then, you know, landing this sort of dream job as an engineer, but being unfulfilled, and then financial problems with owning a home because you thought being a homeowner was like the next real adult move, and that backfired. And so now, as an entrepreneur, you've seen the error of your ways, but it was hard to sort of reconcile this with your family. And how did you do that and how are you doing that? Because I think it's probably an ongoing thing.

[Vrinda Gupta]

Yeah, it's absolutely an ongoing thing. And there was a lot of sense of guilt of wanting to let go of what that dream was in their eyes. And I think that's something that a lot of people can, you know, resonate with, is just feeling like everything that I've accomplished up until this point was the script that I've been given, the script for success, and why am I miserable? So it's that. It's that dichotomy of, like, I'm doing everything everybody told me I should do in order to get the success, the stability. But for many first generation kids, we're not really seeking stability. Our parents want the stability. We want freedom. We want the ability to have choices and options and not be boxed into what we've been told is supposed to make us happy. And so it was a gradual process. I think it's still an ongoing process for me. And a lot of how my parents kind of came to the realization that I am actually on the path I'm supposed to be on is because of how they've seen me change and evolve and just be. Become more confident and become more empowered. And that was something that I spoke with with my mom recently. She's just like, you know, I thought you were crazy, but I think we're all the crazy ones now. We're the ones that need to start questioning what we've been told.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Janice Torres]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Check it [e-mail] Pet Janiece's wisdom, I love it speaks to anyone grappling with cultural expectations and their desire for freedom. The full episode with Janese dives deep into building wealth, unapologetically challenging the status quo. Janese's own story is marked by a lot of hard work, a lot of unfulfilling corporate jobs, and ultimately entrepreneurship. Up next, Shirin Eskandani, the first generation Iranian American and former opera singer turned sought after life coach. In this clip, she shares how cultural expectations and the immigrant experience shaped her family's struggles and her own pursuit of success. Take me back to the thoughts that your family was having, especially your parents around working here. You know, we think like, oh, we just like my parents immigrated here. My dad came because he was a student and so he had that to kind of finish and then worry about the next step. But for your parents, what were the career prospects? What were they doing where they felt they could come and go to any country, any English speaking country and do that without much of a pause?

[Janice Torres]

Yeah. So that's such a great question because now that I've kind of, I'm an adult and I've kind of looked at the past, I realized how so much of my, my money story or even my journey as an entrepreneur is, you know, reflected in what I saw in my parents. So we moved to Canada at the time because when they were telling immigrants to come, they were like, hey, if you have a master's, if you have this, you're going to easily find work here. And that was not the case. That was not the case for my parents. They both had masters, they both, both had really great careers in Iran. My mom was a librarian, my dad was an engineer. And so I think that was like a big shock to them. They both had careers that they loved and they were very good at. And you know, I think especially for my dad, that was a real struggle because as a Iranian Middle Eastern man, for him, providing for his family financially was a really big deal. And you know, you still see this, it's kind of changing within our culture, but within a lot of cultures still, it's like the man has to provide. And so for my dad, I think he did a lot of different business ventures here. He finally figured out what felt best to him. But that was a Real struggle of, you know, wanting to provide for us. But also everything they had worked for kind of meant nothing in this new country they found themselves in.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to understand and highlight, because that is a part of the immigrant narrative that sometimes gets overlooked. It's like, oh, you think that you're just done because you got here. And that's, of course, a huge step. And sometimes, you know, you don't have time to think about the next step. You're just trying to get out of your country, especially one that's war torn. Then you get here, and that is. I can only imagine the adrenaline and the stress. So many immigrants have to just start over. That process is so. It's full of admiration, but, gosh, it's hard. Now, you did something very untraditional within the Persian community, which is that you pursued the arts.

[Janice Torres]

Yeah.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

What were you thinking? No, how did that conversation go in your household? Clearly you had an enormous talent. I mean, becoming an opera singer, that must have been a talent that presented itself early and a passion that presented itself early. But then to get your family convinced to invest in you, to get to the point where now you're a professional singer and you're singing at the Met and Carnegie hall, how did that work out for you?

[Janice Torres]

So, yes, very untraditional path. However, even though, like my parents, especially like my dad, very traditional ideas around their occupations and their work, they were so supportive of me pursuing this. So I do come from a pretty artistic family. From my mom's side, her aunt was, like, a concert pianist. And this was back in, like, the 1960s, from Iran. Immigrated from Iran to Germany and became this pianist there. And on my dad's side, my grandmother was a really famous singer in Iran. So music is a big part. Was a big part of my family. And so exactly as you said, when we immigrated, I joined choirs. That's kind of one of the things you do at school. And I think I was like, first grade, and my teacher at school pulled my mom aside and said, listen, your daughter, I think, has, like, this talent, this ability, and I think you should kind of look into it. Here are a couple choirs for you to try out their professional children's choirs. And my mom was like, let's see what happens. And that's where I got my start with singing. And thank goodness I found it, because music and singing, to me, were really where I felt most at home, you know, especially as this immigrant kid who felt so kind of out of place, you know, with. With everything with My culture, my customs, even just like, the lunch I brought to school. I'm sure you experienced this.

[Vrinda Gupta]

I wrote about that.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

It's the potato and parsley sandwiches that I would unravel from Lao to tiny foil.

[Janice Torres]

Oh, my God.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

That was.

[Janice Torres]

I know these. Oh, my gosh. Farnish. My mom. I used to take OB GT for lunch.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Stop.

[Janice Torres]

Why? For folks who don't know, ab gush literally means, like, it's delicious, but it translates to meat water. It's like it's meat clumped up with soup. It's just. It should not be taken to a second grade cafeteria. So having said all that, setting the stage for this, you know, really finding music for me was like a godsend. Right?

[Shirin Eskandani]

Yes.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Abu Kush. Did you water that? Did you wash that down with some Doug?

[Janice Torres]

Oh, my. If my mom. If we had enough thermoses, I'm sure my mom would have sent me some Doug as well. That's carbonated milk beverage, everyone?

[Shirin Eskandani]

Yeah.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Delicious.

[Janice Torres]

It's delicious. But really, as we say, quote unquote, character building. Right? So, yeah, so feeling really left out. So singing for me was so great, and I think, you know, my parents saw how much I loved it. We also had this musical family, and so they really, really were incredibly supportive. And so when I was about to kind of figure out what I wanted to do with school, with college, I was like, I want to pursue music now. Here's the thing, too, also, it's kind of. I feel like I. It's not that I compromised, but as an Iranian, I was like, I, of course, am going to go get my bachelor's. Like, I'm not going. So it was a. It was still a very immigrant way of doing the thing in which I was like, I'm gonna go become an opera singer. Which is wild.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Excellent at that, whatever it is. I've heard this from others who pursue theater. They go to Juilliard or they go to Yale because. And I just studied journalism. I went to Columbia. As long as there's an Ivy League associated with this passion project of yours, then, you know, they're. They get calm. So many inspiring stories, Shirin's especially showing us how we can pursue paths that feel unconventional. Her full episode explores mindfulness, living authentically, and finding success on your own terms. And then finally, Varinda Gupta, an Indian American fintech founder who takes us inside the banking system and shares how she's closing financial gaps for women. Her personal experience, being rejected for a credit card that she helped create exposed systemic gaps that had inspired her to Launch Sequin. And in this clip, she talks about how women are often left behind by the financial system and what we can do to take control.

[Vivian Tu]

I remember this big day where I was sitting at my desk at Visa doing the application on the Chase website, and I got rejected from the credit card that I helped create.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Huh.

[Giovanna Gonzalez]

Hmm.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Why? Why do you think that? Was it your credit score? Was it a glitch?

[Vivian Tu]

I mean, my mind raced to all sorts of things, right? I think the first piece was, I'm an imposter. I never belonged here in the first place. Which is something I've spent many years unlearning. But very quickly, I came to my senses, right? I said, wait, I know exactly how these products work. I'm building these, so there must be something deeper here. And the piece that was very unsettling for me was when I got rejected. I did not know why. And legally, you have to get a letter in the mail a few weeks later. There's five potential decline reasons, none of which are actionable, right? And I actually went to my manager at the time and I told him what happened, kind of sheepishly, and he said, okay, let's look at your credit. You know, what's going on? And what I realized was that I did not have a credit card under my own name. My dad had made me a secondary user, which, by the way, is twice as common for women to be a secondary user on a parent or a partner's credit. And I was not building credit under my own name. And because of that, yes, I was credit visible, but not at the point where it was actually showing me and my credit profile. And that's why I got rejected. And it felt like this very important test that I had never been taught how to study for. Seemed like some people knew about it, I didn't. And that was kind of my journey into understanding how this financial world was built. And I realized that it wasn't a fault of mine that I didn't know this. Where was I supposed to learn, right? I'm not taught in school. None of us are. A lot of the stats that I uncovered as I went on this kind of obsessive wormhole of what is going on, when I realized it was not me, it opened my eyes to, okay, who was this system designed for? How was it designed? And I think this is probably no surprise to anyone, but I learned that women and minorities could actively be rejected from bank accounts, from credit cards, from business loans up until the 1970s, right? That is not ancient history. I did not know that and what that also meant was every single financial services entity, product tool that was designed before the 70s, which is pretty much all of them, right? Those were designed to actively leave women out of the narrative, right? And that, to me, obviously, you know, that was in the past, but I think we all know that if you write something into law that, okay, that's illegal now, that doesn't mean that the problem solved, right? It's just that, okay, legally, you can't do that anymore. And I started to become really obsessed with, okay, what are the implications today? Because when I started doing this exploration, I started talking to my friends. I, at that point had many friends who had worked at Visa for a long time. I had friends who were MBAs. I had extremely educated women and aspirational women in my life. And I would talk to them and say, do you feel confident in your finances? Do you feel like you know what's going on? Do you feel like the guys know a little bit more than us? And I kept on hearing these stories about financial anxiety, a lack of financial confidence, but these women were not confident. And it just felt like there was something more deep. And so essentially what I learned was, even today, at all parts of our financial journey, women are making avoidable mistakes. And it starts really early. It's no fault of our own. So the first thing that I learned was little girls are half as likely to receive a lesson on credit and finances by the time we reach high school school as compared to boys. Also, what I learned was after we graduate, we are not being marketed to in the same ways that men are. So banks are marketing more to men than they are to women. I also saw some really real discrepancies in terms of how women are engaging with financial tools where women are paying 18% more in avoidable banking fees every year, which leads to hundreds of dollars, and that's overdraft fees, late fees, penalties when it comes to credit, are more credit worthy and more likely to pay back. But our credit scores are lower because of the gender wage gap. I learned, of course, about gaps in terms of retirement and building wealth and just those gaps in terms of actually growing our money. And it just led me to realize that, of course, you know, financial education, there's a lack there, but also the tools themselves are not really taking into account that there are very real differences in women's lives that we need to account for and that the tools themselves are not working that great, great for us. So that's the point at which I took a step back and I said, okay, something needs to change.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Brenda's story is a wake up call to take charge of our finances and advocate for better systems. Her full episode is packed with practical advice on credit, overcoming systemic barriers and building wealth with confidence. Thanks to my guests Vivian Tu, Giovanna Gonzalez, Janice Torres, Shirin Eskandani and Verinda Gupta. Proving that being first gen comes with challenges, but it also creates creativity, resilience and strength. Thanks for tuning in. I'll see you on Wednesday when we're gonna look back on the guests on Sew Money that introduced science backed habits to help us improve our relationship with money. Thanks for tuning in and I hope your day is so Money.

[Vivian Tu]

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