← So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
1822: From Stay-at-Home Mom to Stand Up: Inside Zarna Garg's American Dream
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- [00:00]
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- [01:08]
Farnoosh Tarabi
So money episode 1822 from stay at Home mom to Stand Up Mogul Inside Zarnagarg's American Dream.
- [01:17]
Verizon Representative
You're listening to so Money with award winning money guru Farnoosh Karabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers and from Farnoosh yourself. Looking for ways to save on gas or double your double double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to SO Money.
- [01:44]
Zarna Garg
What we realized was that when you think you need the savings, the savings go really fast. When he had a job, we thought we had a lot of savings, we thought we had a lot of assets. And then suddenly the market was down for this thing and there were no buyers for that thing. And it was like an avalanche of money things. And my husband, I could tell, was very shaken up. The only exam he had failed in his life until that point was the New York State driver's test. His whole life was about winning the exams. That's how a lot of people progress in India. So I had to take control or he was going to do something stupid because he was like, I'll take any job anywhere. And I knew that's not the answer. You know that is not going to work for a guy who's done all that he had done. And I also felt like I owed it to him for 22 years. At that point, he had been running a household by himself. I felt like the universe was calling me to step up and I was gonna do anything.
- [02:46]
Farnoosh Tarabi
Welcome to so Money, everybody. I'm Farnoosh Tarabi. We've got a really special episode in front of a live audience that I taped at Loopwell, Montclair, New Jersey last week. I've been talking about it for a while now, and I'm so excited to unleash it right now. So here's what happened. I and about a hundred people gathered last week to celebrate the launch of a remarkable new memoir called this American Woman, written by comedian and writer Zarna Garg. You may remember her first appearance on so Money a couple years ago. And she's back. By popular demand, Zarna is often called the funny brown mom, an Indian immigrant mother of three who's taken the comedy world by storm with her fearless humor and heart. In fact, she often jokes that in her culture, quote, no one's going to pay money to have fun. We prefer stress. Yet here she is making fun her business. And what a business it is. Zarna's story is one of a kind. Part comedy, part entrepreneurship, a lot of struggle and 100% inspiration. Just five years ago, she broke into the comedy scene after a decade of being a stay at home mom. She'd never set foot on a standup stage before, not even as an audience member, but her kids were the ones who first dared her to try an open mic. And to her surprise, she was hooked and so was the audience. But then life threw a curveball. Her husband lost his job in finance during the pandemic, suddenly leaving the family without that steady paycheck. But Zarna turned her panic into healthy panic, as I like to say, and got to work. Her comedy went from being a passion to a necessity and ultimately a lifeline. In our conversation, we'll learn how Zarna approaches her comedy like an entrepreneur, like building a startup. She experiments, she fails fast, and she keeps refining her. In just these five years, Zarna has gone from open mic newbie to comedy sensation. She's a regular at famous clubs like the Comedy Cellar in New York. She's racked up over 100 million views with her viral TikTok videos, and she's even caught the eye of Kevin Hart, winning his national comedy competition on Peacock. She's also working with comedy icons Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as the Opening act on their Restless Leg tour. Before we dive in, just want to give a quick shout out to her book, this American Woman, which I devoured in two days. You think you know and then you learn so much about her childhood, her upbringing, fleeing an arranged marriage, coming to America to live with her sister, finding love on a dating app. The book is a blend of laugh out loud humor, some tears, a lot of wisdom, and you're going to hear all of that in our chat today. Here's Arnegaard opening up about why she first wanted to even write the memoir in what feels like prime time in her career. Why not wait until she's retired when she might have more stories? Here we go.
- [05:36]
Zarna Garg
Why now? Because everywhere I go, I get asked how I got started in comedy, how I, I created this business. And the truth is that like a lot of women especially, and a lot of people, but a lot of women in general who feel stuck after taking a long detour into raising kids. I was there not that long ago. I was convinced that the world had moved on without me when I was a mother of three. And every day was about the same thing. This class, that class, this parent teacher thing. And every day I would read in the newspapers about other women doing cool things. And I couldn't understand how they did it because I was dying. I couldn't even keep up with the basics of keeping my kids fed. Dropping balls all over. I actually am, I actually was voted the worst snack mom on my son's soccer team. That's a true fact. Can I just tell what the snack was, please? I made little baggies of peeled clementines. I took cheese sticks and saltine crackers without the salt. And apparently no one wanted it. And the woman who bought Dunkin Donuts every day, she won the best natwa. It's a joke now, but I remember my, you know, because these kids all voted and they're like, your mom was the worst. That. So it's funny and it definitely has shaped my son's character. So he's fine.
- [07:06]
Audience Member
We hope, you know, we hope.
- [07:09]
Zarna Garg
But I couldn't even do that. And there were women who are like, yeah, I have six kids and I'm also an astronaut. Like, what?
- [07:18]
Audience Member
Because they weren't doing it all on the, on the. By themselves. You insisted on doing it all yourself. Why?
- [07:25]
Zarna Garg
Well, I didn't have, like, I actually am that immigrant who stood in line and crossed the border and waited 16, 18 years to get legal paperwork. You know, people don't realize how much goes into immigrating into America. And you hear stories from children of immigrants, the kids who either came as kids or grew up here. So they didn't fight that fight themselves, but the ones who fought the fight themselves, they know that's 20 years of your life is just gone. You can't work because you don't have the paperwork. You have the kid, but there's no one around. Not one person like, you want to take a nap, you're on your own. You really, you have to hire somebody who can sit there and watch your kids so you can take a nap and no one dies. You know, it's a whole thing. So I didn't have the choice. I didn't, you know, my husband and I are both immigrants. He had a job that like, literally we lived 20 years. If you don't show up, you're going to get fired. You know, it's America. This is how you build your business. Anyway, he got fired anyway. And long answer to your question, why now? Because after answering it one on one to like a million people and convincing them that they can do it, it's not too late.
- [08:38]
Audience Member
I mean, obviously it's going to be a mosey, right?
- [08:42]
Zarna Garg
We'll see. We'll see.
- [08:43]
Audience Member
All right, so I want to have you take us back because a lot of us know about you as Zarna Gart today, the comedian, one in a billion award winning screenwriter, mom of three. But there was a Zarnagar, five years old in Mumbai. Take me to her.
- [09:01]
Zarna Garg
Yeah, she had a big mouth. Oh, my God. Like all the things I said. Oh my God. Like, I always got in trouble for saying the wrong things. This is like a lifelong theme of only in America can you monetize this. I had a big mouth and I had unending curiosity. Literally, that is, if you had to design the most undesirable Indian woman, those would be the two traits. Yeah. And that was my life, like getting in trouble all the time. My parents were, in some ways, they got there not alive because they would be like, we got the funny one. We didn't get the accountant. We didn't get the scientist. We got. What do you do with this?
- [09:45]
Audience Member
You say the first page, one of.
- [09:46]
Farnoosh Tarabi
The first pages in your book, you.
- [09:48]
Audience Member
Have a quote that, that says, life's a gamble, so gamble on yourself. How do you know when it's the right bet? A lot of us in here, we want to do that, right? We want to take risks, but there's stakes. We have families, we have a mortgage.
- [10:04]
Zarna Garg
You just have to do it. I like to say the only Way to it is to it. No one can give you that short term. This is a particular blind spot in women, I think, in business, where they think, let me ask my friend if this is a good idea, or let me ask the neighborhood person who does this. They don't know.
- [10:21]
Audience Member
Nobody.
- [10:22]
Zarna Garg
Even if your friend is the most famous of anything, they don't. My sitcom has the biggest comedy name in the world attached to it, but none of us saw the rejection coming. And that's just light. That's not me. And that's why I'm like, you've got to just try and fail. Now, it is true that when you have that many responsibilities, as I do also, you can't take random shots in the dark. You have to be methodical. What is your plan? And you have to know from the outset, are you running a business or are you doing this as a hobby? I knew early on that there's very little money in stand up comedy the way most of my fellow Comets do it. So I started looking, how do people make money in comedy? Clean comedy, that's money. Because corporate gigs, network. Those are people who need somebody to bring in the humor. They're willing to pay, but you gotta be clean. So immediately I was like, I will only do clean comedy. Then it's like, you have to understand, is the audience appreciating what you're doing? The number of comments who will keep telling jokes that no one wants to hear because they love the jokes. They're not listening to their clients, they're not listening to the audience. Me, I'm ruthless. If I make a joke three times and it doesn't get a laugh, it's out. Because I cannot waste anybody's time. If somebody's sitting in my audience every minute, it's like a race to the finish. I have the highest and fastest velocity of laughs right now in America.
- [11:50]
Farnoosh Tarabi
Agree.
- [11:51]
Audience Member
I will also part of the app for that. We're selling rooms faster than anyone selling rooms.
- [11:56]
Zarna Garg
But that's also because if you look like this, if you don't put on that level of numbers, you don't have business. I don't have a friend who's calling, a friend who's going to open a door for me. That's not how business is going to come to me. But that's okay. I don't mind it. I don't even complain about it. I use it as a metric. I was like, all right, so what is it that people look at? And let's go after that.
- [12:18]
Audience Member
I mean, she did audit her husband's MBA classes for fun at Columbia.
- [12:24]
Zarna Garg
I did. And I. Oh, my God. The Columbia and business school professors loved me because I was the only person in that room actually listening to what they were saying. Everybody else was like, I need an internship. You know, I mean, my social media mantra, we've talked about that. My social media mantra all along is you don't get a million followers. You get one follower at a time a million times. Because each person who chooses to be in your universe is giving you something very valuable, their time. And that's how I sold tickets everywhere. I was literally like in the subway going, you know, actually, if you come to the show, this is what we'll do. And I will make sure your drink is served. Indian people don't even know what stand up comedy is. So they would be. There were actually people coming to our show thinking that stand up comedy meant that they, as the audience, have to stand.
- [13:16]
Audience Member
All right, I want to talk more about money. Tell me about how you approach financial challenges and maybe you can take us back to the darkest time when Chaleb lost his job.
- [13:26]
Zarna Garg
Yeah, very stressful. Not because he lost a job, of course, that's stressful. But we didn't see it coming at all. He was actually at the peak of his trading career when his investors decided to, for their, their own accounting reasons, had to redeem. And that, we learned, is a thing. I knew that there were two ways this could go. One is that we both collapse and we both fall apart and like, we both start crying and do like, oh. And then he said something that actually scared the shit out of me. He said, listen, if all else fails, we can move in with my parents. The truth is that every crisis has to be handled pretty much the same way. You have to break it down to its like, what are the things you can do right now? Actionable elements. You have to break it down from just, he's lost his job. We have no money. We had already started moving our kids out of private school because we just didn't like that system. But we had already been making that move without the money pressures. What we realized was that when you think you need the savings, the savings go really fast. When he had a job, we thought we had a lot of savings. We thought we had a lot of assets. And then suddenly the market was down for this thing and there were no buyers for that thing. And it was like an avalanche of money things. And my husband, I could tell, was very shaken up. The only exam he had failed in his life until that point was the new state driver's test. His whole life was about winning the exams. That's how a lot of people progress in India. So I had to take control or he was going to do something stupid because he was like, I'll take any job anywhere. And I knew that's not the answer. You know, that is not going to work for a guy who's done all that he had done. And I also felt like I owed it to him for 22 years. At that point, he had been running a household by himself. I felt like the universe was calling me to step up and I was going to do anything. But it came down to methodical movements. First thing I did that in America is controversial, but in India, it's done all the time. We sat down and told the kids. A lot of my girlfriends were like, why would you put this pressure on your kids? But they need to know life. And how are we going to lie to them at that level? Like, we were both in tears every day. How much lies do you expect us to tell these kids, who are actually not dumb kids? All the kids, they pick up on your emotions. They're not just listening to your words. So the first thing we did was just sit down and explain to the kids what we were going through, and we got them to buy into our plan. Like I told my kids, I said, I need you guys to help me. No one else is going to help me. I need you guys to step in. And that became like a clarion call to all of them. And to this day, they all work for me or with me or whatever, you know.
- [16:24]
Audience Member
How did they ultimately react?
- [16:26]
Zarna Garg
They were very scared. They were like. But their fear is not like. Their fears are little fears. Their fears are like, will I go to college? You know, because they're still consumed by their own life. So we told them. I said, look, everything is probably going to work out the way you want to, but we're going to have to fight for it, and we need you guys to help us. And we started making plans of how, like I told my son, you will run this little piece of whatever it is that I'm trying to do. My other son, my little one who was 7 or 8, even had a job back then to help me. But what that did, aside from the help, because the kids can't really help, let's be real realistically, it's not a lot of help back then, but what it did is take the pressure from us. We were not secretive about it with anybody in our community. We told openly, we talked about it openly with our friends. We cannot come for this dinner. It's too much stress for us. Because we live in Manhattan, everybody pretends that they're billionaires. The shame around money is so real and deep that even my friends were like jarred when I first started saying, he doesn't have a job, I'm not making money. We are not going for this. Whatever plan you're making, you guys have fun. I have no judgment on people who didn't have that life circumstance. But I also was not shy about saying that we are not there and we don't want to be there. And instead of being consumed by the grief, we turned it into a family adventure. That's what kept it going.
- [17:54]
Farnoosh Tarabi
Yeah, when we went to Paris a.
- [17:58]
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- [19:30]
Farnoosh Tarabi
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- [19:47]
Farnoosh Tarabi
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- [20:08]
Farnoosh Tarabi
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- [20:10]
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- [21:58]
Audience Member
So this was a great anecdote because it's an example of how you have figured out things and you say everything is figureoutable. Yeah, but what is something that you have yet to still figure out that's bothering you? Or it's like it's A still a work in progress.
- [22:14]
Zarna Garg
Yeah. I mean, we're in a wellness. This beautiful wellness studio. My weight is something I can't figure out. I've lost. No, it's a. It's. The wellness piece of. It has been a battle. It's an albatross. It's the eating. If I do one thing right, the other one falls. If I do two things right, the third thing falls apart. How to do it on the road. Like, it's a real challenge. And I talk about. I mean, the fact that I take weight loss meds made Indian headline news. I was like, why is this news? Because they're like, well, no one talks about it, but I didn't think there was any reason to hide it. You can see, you know, somebody who's struggling with it. This is not like. And I am really struggling with it. And I feel like someday I will work it out. But it has been an epic fail so far. It's been at least 10 years of trying different things and failing and consistently failing. Like, I was not living a traveling life five years ago. Now I travel every week. That's a whole another layer of complication. It's like God has decided not only will he test me, but he'll keep doubling down on the obstacles. I'm by myself. I travel. I have big pieces of luggage. I'm on stage in bright lights. Like, my doctor has a lot of limits on what she will allow or not allow me to do. It does help me in that there was a time where all I thought about was food, and I don't live that life anymore. And that's a big improvement.
- [23:43]
Audience Member
Well, thank you for sharing that because I think that we need to talk about that more.
- [23:47]
Zarna Garg
But why not? It's a health thing. I'm not trying to land another man. I love my life so much of being an entrepreneur and being surrounded by other entrepreneurs and all the women that I work with and all. If something were to go wrong with Shala, like, if, let's say, God forbid, like, something didn't work out with him for whatever reason, if things fell apart in our marriage, my next move is a billionaire with heart disease. I go to visit my daughter at Stanford. My daughter. I'm like, take me to the cardiac unit of the hospital. The richest people are getting treated there. I'm gonna be hanging out over there. And you know somebody who's gone, like, two, three years to go, yeah, would. That's my.
- [24:31]
Audience Member
You're not the first artist to say that. You know, there was a writer on I don't know. He wrote a bunch of things that were. I never saw them, but he was a big deal. And someone said, what would you do differently? And he goes, marry someone rich.
- [24:44]
Zarna Garg
Yeah.
- [24:44]
Audience Member
Because it's a hard career. Creative field is very difficult. You need stability and natural stability.
- [24:50]
Zarna Garg
Yeah, I just add the death piece because like, rich people can be intolerable otherwise. Like you. I've seen it. Like, I was surrounded by enough of them in private school. I was like, oh, my God, the level. I actually told a story yesterday. There was a private school moment. That's in the book even where I mean, you're talking $70,000 for kindergarten. Okay, yes, yes. Back then when I was there, it was 40 something. Today it's 70, but 40 something. They said, you have library duty. And a few of us were issued library duty. I was like, all right. You know, I wasn't happy about it, but okay, all right, I'll go. You know. And a bunch of us moms showed up to do library duty. You would think library duty is like sit and read a book. No, no, no, no. We had to clean the library. So on one side a pile up of Birkins. On one side, on one side, a pile up of fur coats. And all of us moms on our hands and knees picking up boogers. They got me so bad. And for so many years.
- [25:59]
Audience Member
Yeah, but good for you for getting out.
- [26:00]
Zarna Garg
Yeah.
- [26:01]
Audience Member
All right, we're going to chew a true or false round. And these are all in the book? I think. So you can fact check me later. You almost move to New Jersey.
- [26:11]
Zarna Garg
Yes, true is my dream. I'm sure you know it, but you're so lucky. It's such a beautiful state. So beautiful. And I really wanted this life in another world. That would have been.
- [26:22]
Audience Member
Yeah, you can still have it.
- [26:23]
Zarna Garg
Yes.
- [26:24]
Audience Member
You believe that the American dream can be found inside a Costco?
- [26:30]
Zarna Garg
I do love Costco.
- [26:32]
Audience Member
Yes, true. For the rest, you'll have to read the book. And there's so much that we didn't even touch. Things like your just incredible relationship with one of your brothers. That it ties the book together in such a beautiful way. We didn't get to your mother in law very much.
- [26:52]
Zarna Garg
Not.
- [26:53]
Audience Member
Not as much as maybe I would have liked.
- [26:55]
Zarna Garg
I think we can live without her.
- [26:57]
Audience Member
I have to ask you. You write about her? I thought she was gonna be like, I don't know, just you were gonna go after her in your book and you don't. It seems like you have had an okay relationship.
- [27:08]
Zarna Garg
No, we had a good relationship. She's a good human being and she's a very, very smart lady who raised two incredible sons in very complicated circumstances. The mother in law relationship is complicated. There's no way to get around it. When he's in the room, when my husband's in the room, she's a doll. Oh my God, you can't believe how nice she is. And the minute he exits, it's like it's a new person. And I get it. Like she has her own insecurities. She misses her son. I get all of it. And I like to say, I joke that my book is the opposite of Prince Harry's pair where he went after the whole family. That's not like, that's not my truth. That's not my life. I actually have a wonderful, loving relationship with everybody. My brother and I are very close to this day. My siblings, my sister who lives in Ohio and I are very close. And I think that I learned from life in America and American women in particular, how to use my voice. American women told me I have a voice and how to use it. But I learned from my Indian culture the value of community. And I wanted to speak to that here because I think we're missing it. I think we're missing it in America. We've kind of lost it a little bit. So I wanted to write a book that spoke about the community that saved me, helped me, propelled me and we all could probably have it in our own individual pods, I think.
- [28:39]
Audience Member
Thank you for coming to our team Zanagar.
- [28:42]
Zarna Garg
Thank you so much.
- [28:48]
Audience Member
I, we have, we have handheld mics.
- [28:52]
Airbnb Representative
And anybody would like.
- [28:53]
Audience Member
Or you can just stand up. I have a question.
- [28:55]
Zarna Garg
Yeah, Sarna?
- [28:57]
Audience Member
What would your 40 plus self tell your 14 year old self back in India?
- [29:02]
Zarna Garg
What would you want to tell that part of you? This is a painful question that you asked because this is. No, no, it's good, it's good. I mean, and you're here. We're in the meditating space. Let's do this. Because I heard that help. But I was 10 years old when an English teacher in my school told me that you are good in English. So that pretty much meant that I was a good writer. That's how they say that. Because you only did writing projects in English. The other languages you didn't do full on writing projects. And I remember the teacher looking at me and saying, you're good in English. And I was so disappointed. I was terrified that she's going to say that to my dad and he's going to be like, english, who cares? About that. What about science? What about math? And it took me almost 40 years to embrace that part of me. I still have a hard time saying that I'm a writer. I've never said a word. Like, you know, I can't even bring myself to say that I'm an author, even though I wrote every word of this book. But I had the hardest time, like, because in my head, there is a math person hiding in here somewhere that just hasn't come out yet.
- [30:17]
Audience Member
You're a Renaissance woman.
- [30:19]
Farnoosh Tarabi
You do it all.
- [30:20]
Audience Member
You've talked about how you've incorporated math and logic and analysis into this creative field, and clearly you're a brilliant communicator. And when you read the book, you'll realize, like, yes, that teacher and probably millions of other people saw that in.
- [30:36]
Instacart Representative
You as a kid.
- [30:37]
Zarna Garg
I know, but I didn't accept it. And that's. That's painful because it's 40 years of lost opportunity, you know, I mean, yes, it's never too late. I say it to myself. But of course, like all human beings, I am my what ifs? What if I, you know, what if this? What if that? It's never ending. But that's the true answer to your birth. If I could say to my now, this does not apply to my kids. Before anybody gets excited, none of my kids are allowed to be writers because my daughter is also a very strong writer. But I was like, you will forget that for right now. But if I could go back in time, I would say to my kid myself that I should have taken it more seriously.
- [31:24]
Farnoosh Tarabi
Thanks so much to Zarna Garg for joining us. Her book again is called this American Woman. And thank you to everybody at Loopwell in Montclair. If you're in the area and you haven't visited Loopwell, highly, highly recommend this beautiful wellness space where they often host incredible speakers like Zarna Deepak Chopra. You can learn more@loopwithus.com I'll see you back here on Wednesday. And I hope your day is so money.
- [32:02]
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