1906: What Women Need to Know About Protecting Their Wealth: A Legal ToolKit

Summary

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So Money with Farnoosh Torabi

Episode 1906: What Women Need to Know About Protecting Their Wealth—A Legal Toolkit

Published: November 17, 2025
Guest: Ann Margaret Carrozza—Asset Protection & Elder Law Attorney, Author

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Overview

This episode focuses on the essential legal strategies women need to protect their wealth. Farnoosh Torabi interviews Ann Margaret Carrozza, a nationally recognized asset protection and elder law attorney, former New York State assemblywoman, and legal commentator, about her forthcoming book The Smart Woman’s Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth. Together, they delve into the crucial legal landmines women face, such as asset protection, relationship transparency, preparing for long-term care, and the importance of thoughtful estate planning.

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Key Themes & Discussion Points

The Need for a Legal Framework in Wealth Protection

• Women’s Financial Journeys: Carrozza shares that money issues go well beyond saving and investing; legal protections are vital because “what does it matter how brilliantly I save and invest if there is a greater than 40% chance of losing assets to a long term illness, divorce, breakup, taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits?” (07:45)
• Asset Vulnerabilities: The U.S. is the “most litigious society that has ever existed on the planet” and no one is immune to lawsuits or unexpected challenges (07:45).

Building Wealth: Practical and Psychological Steps

• Start Small: Carrozza encourages women to “look around the room. There’s something you can sell. There's a creative idea…you can get from here to there” (09:51).
• Community: Surrounding yourself with supportive, financially ambitious women is critical for growth and protection. “That’s how we accelerate, that’s how we get ahead…That’s how we build and protect wealth in community.” (03:36)

Legal Landmines Unique to Women

• Relationship Transparency: Women must be aware of their partner’s financial situation. “Does your partner have a secret financial life? In many respects, this can be more damaging to our long-term finances than an ordinary indiscretion or an affair within the relationship.” (12:53)
• Proactive Steps in Relationships: Carrozza advises, “change your financial login information…change your social media login information…If there are any compromising images…get into that shared device and delete those images...” (12:53)
• Healthcare Directives: Health care proxies are “designed to be DIY” and can be downloaded for free; you don’t always need a lawyer (16:21).

The Role of Prenups & Postnups

• Beyond Divorce Protection: Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are “mission statements” for a relationship, defining financial goals and boundaries. Farnoosh notes, “we never think of prenups as…this active marriage plan. We think of it as here’s what’s going to happen when we break up. But it can also be used as an action plan for the marriage...” (22:38)
• Key Clause: Set limits on “mad money” or discretionary spending within these agreements to avoid future conflict or “faulty recollections” (22:55).
• Who Benefits: Prenups shouldn’t only favor the richer party; if done right, “they should be used to make the less financially secure party whole in the event that the relationship doesn’t work out.” (20:39)

The Realities of Long-Term Care & Home Protection

• Long-Term Care Insurance: “In all 50 states, the long-term care insurer is allowed legally to increase our annual premiums”—so even if you buy early, costs may balloon (25:15).
  • Advice: Consider “hybrid” long-term care policies that combine whole life insurance with care features, so “there will still be a death benefit for our loved ones down the road.” (25:15)
• Home Ownership: For most, the house is their biggest asset:
  • “80% of Americans over 65 own their own home and they should think about putting it into a trust...to prevent their beneficiaries down the road from having to go through probate of a will and to obviate the capital gains taxes.” (25:15)
  • Proper trusts also protect the home from nursing facility liens if the homeowner later needs long-term care. (25:15)

Advocacy vs. Personal Empowerment

• Policy Change is Slow: Carrozza is skeptical of waiting for legislative reform, instead urging women to “focus less on advocacy and focus more on informing ourselves about the law as it exists now…arming themselves with the information and the contacts and the confidence to thrive in spite of the uneven playing field” (30:59).
• Community Matters: “You need to cut those toxic people out of your life…surround yourself instead with the people who are going to boost you, who are going to give you the no nonsense information that you need to thrive and hit your goals...” (30:59)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Legal Protections & Asset Loss:
  "Money problems are not solved by money alone…if there is a greater than 40% chance of losing assets to a long term illness, divorce, breakup, taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits…We need to think about legally protecting whatever we happen to have right now so that some trip and fall con artist doesn't take it from us."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (07:45)

• On Relationship Transparency:
  "Does your partner have a secret financial life? In many respects, this can be more damaging to our long-term finances than an ordinary indiscretion or an affair within the relationship."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (12:53)

• On Prenups & Clarity:
  "Within a prenup, within a postnup, we can set limits on what our separate mad money purchases are going to be...We put things in writing to guard against faulty recollections. And it really is like a mission statement that we can pull out, dust off once in a while and edit it. Almost a governing plan."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (22:55)

• On Long-Term Care Insurance:
  "In all 50 states, the long-term care insurer is allowed legally to increase our annual premiums...No company that I've seen my clients have that have not increased the premiums …I think you expect the premiums to go up."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (29:20)

• On Facing Policy vs. Personal Actions:
  "Would I encourage my sister or my best friend to spend their time fighting against the situation that exists or arming themselves with the information and the contacts and the confidence to thrive in spite of the uneven playing field that still exists? So I'm all about supporting each other."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (30:59)

• Personal Story—The Spam & Snickers Story:
  "In the basket, I noticed a brown, shiny plastic bag filled with little Snickers bars. So my embarrassment went away. I pulled that bag of Snickers bars and hid it from everyone else in the house. ...It really sparked a little bit of magic in my life, as silly as that sounds. And it caused me to start to see what kind of magic I can make in other people's lives."
  —Ann Margaret Carrozza, (33:01)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:36 — Why community makes the biggest difference for women building wealth
• 07:45 — Why legal protection is “the single most important part of personal finance”
• 09:51 — First steps for any woman to strengthen their finances and sense of agency
• 12:53 — Overlooked legal vulnerabilities for women, “secret financial lives,” and protecting yourself online
• 16:21 — Health care proxies: DIY legal protection
• 20:39–22:55 — How prenups/postnups can serve as relationship “mission statements” and practical guidelines
• 24:52 — The financial threat of long-term care as women age, and insurance pitfalls
• 25:15 — Strategies for protecting the family home with trusts
• 29:20 — Real talk on long-term care insurance costs and industry practices
• 30:59 — Should women wait for policy reform or take action now?
• 33:01 — Ann Margaret Carrozza’s formative story about growing up poor and discovering the power of giving

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Resources & Where to Find More

• Ann Margaret Carrozza’s new book: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth
• Instagram: @ylawyerann
• More info: Ann Margaret’s website (offers free health care proxy forms)

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Final Takeaways

• Legal protection is an essential pillar of financial health—especially for women, who face unique vulnerabilities and longer life expectancies.
• Transparency, proactive planning, and surrounding yourself with a supportive community are keys to building and securing lasting wealth.
• Don’t wait for perfect laws or outside help—inform yourself, take action, and use the legal and financial tools available to keep what you’ve worked hard to build.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[D]

You're listening To SO Money with award.

[C]

Winning money guru Farnoosh Torabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose.

[D]

Of financial inspiration from the world's business minds, authors, influencers and from Farnoosh yourself.

[C]

Looking for ways to save on gas.

[A]

Or double your double coupons.

[D]

Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to SO Money Within a prenup within a post. Nup. We can set limits on what our separate mad money purchases are going to be and people will say that's to going crazy. Why do we have to deal with a contract? It should be common sense. It's not. And we put things in writing to guard against faulty recollections. We've all played that game of telephone where the message is totally different when a little time and different people interpret it in different ways. So we put things in writing to guard against faulty recollections. And, and it really is like a mission statement that we can pull out, dust off once in a while and edit it. Almost a governing plan.

[C]

Welcome to SO Money everybody. I'm Farnoosh Tarabi. This episode feels a little bit surreal, I got to be honest. This guest we have today, Ann Margaret Caroza. She's a nationally recognized asset protection and elder law attorney, former New York State assembly woman, and, and a legal commentator you might have seen on places like cbs, NBC. And we recorded this episode last week on a Friday morning. And then a few hours later, I logged into our monthly so Many Members Club office hour. And believe it or not, a lot of the stuff Ann Margaret is about to share with us today began playing out in real time. Because Ann Margaret, she's a fierce advocate for women, surrounding themselves with like minded, financially ambitious women. That's how we accelerate, that's how we get ahead, she says. And I obviously agree. That's how we build and protect wealth in community. And so it was a sort of pinch me moment during the office hour because that's exactly what was happening. We were a group of women and by the way, so many members clubs open to everybody, not just women. But in this particular office hour, it was us women talking openly about the businesses that we were building, working through debt, in some cases, how we were going to raise money over the next year and a half to pay off credit card debt. One person was ready to take some bold financial swings. One was interested in saving for different projects around her home. And so we were working through all of that and throwing out ideas. It was really awesome. And in fact, there's one mom in the group. She and I have gotten particularly close because she's shared a lot with me. And I remember one night she DMed me unsure if she should stretch her budget to buy a house in a safer community for her and her family. And I said, I'm telling you this as a financial expert, but also as a friend and as a woman and as a mother. You cannot put a price on your mental health. This isn't going to break you. It's a little bit of a stretch, but you're going to be able to make it work. And she bought the house and now she's flourishing. She's not only able to make those payments, but she's managed to launch a side business. She recently was actually invited to teach personal finance to college students. Yeah. A woman who joined the club to learn about money is now an expert. Because here's the thing, we're all experts inside. I believe that it's waiting to come out. And that's why today's conversation with Ann Margaret Caroza is so important and timely because it gives us not just financial but also legal advice and framework to protect our money that we've worked so hard to build. That we're working so hard to build. A little bit more about Ann Margret. She has spent 20 years helping families and entrepreneurs safeguard their assets. And she has a new book coming out. It's called the Smart Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth. It's a playbook for avoiding the financial threats most people never see coming. Things like lawsuits. We're living in a very litigious society. In our conversation you'll hear her unpack the legal landmines. A lot of people don't even know we're walking into why financial transparency in your relationship is a non negotiable the truth about long term care insurance. This one actually surprised me. So Ann Margaret has actually worked in in New York State legislature. She served 14 years on the insurance committee. And so her insights are super valid and really important for us to hear. Also, what belongs in a prenup that no one ever talks about, something she shared at the top of the show. She's going to dive more into later on and how to protect the biggest asset most Americans own. Their home. Let's get into it. And Margaret Caroza, welcome to so Money and congratulations on your book. We have a lot to talk about. How to build and protect wealth.

[D]

Thanks for having me. I'm a huge fan.

[C]

You have coming out a comprehensive guide for women on building and protecting wealth. You have written this book from your lens as an attorney. Let's talk a little bit about what brought you to publishing this book and why you think this advice is so important today.

[D]

As an asset protection attorney, I've been privileged to work with more than 20,000 clients over the years. And I've taken to asking them about their specific wealth journeys, how they accumulated wealth in many cases, how they lost wealth and then came back again. And I think money is fascinating and you do a wonderful job of cutting through a lot of the fluff and mystery. Money problems are not solved by money alone. When I look at my own experience prior to becoming an attorney, I was an average 20 something up to my eyeballs in credit card debt. I chronicle my slow crawl from the mountain of debt into being in control. Then when we look at legal protections, this is the single most important part of personal finance. Because what does it matter how brilliantly I save and invest if there is a greater than 40% chance of losing assets to a long term illness, divorce, breakup, taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits? You know that we're living in the most litigious society that has ever existed on the planet. We need to think about legally protecting whatever we happen to have right now so that some trip and fall con artist doesn't take it from us.

[C]

What are the most important assets for women to have, you think, to strengthen their finances?

[D]

That's an excellent question. And I think a great first step is to regularly consume the information that someone like you provides. I try to do the same thing within my practice. I host a radio show on wor. It's also on the Iheart apple called the Laws of youf Money, where we really dive into how to get from here to there financially. Step number one, we need to cut down on our own discretionary spending. Step number two, we need to say no to the people around us who are trying to separate us from our savings. And once we start to build a little bit of savings, and I think as women there are differences, there are still differences. In late 2025, women earn less than men for the exact same job. So we need to educate ourselves and we need to take ownership of our worth by consuming accurate information, surrounding ourselves with people who have similar goals, we want to get ahead. We know that the simplest formula to build wealth is to take assets and invest them. But someone listening to this who is dead broke says, okay, yeah, that's all well and good, but I have nothing to invest. I encourage any of us to look around the room and there's something you can sell. There's a creative idea that when you surround yourself with the right people who are boosting your ideas, confidence and self worth, you can get from here to there. I may say this sweater has served me well, but let me put it up on Facebook Marketplace and see if I can get a few dollars and put that in an index fund. With that little action, I feel more power and that's what it's all about.

[C]

I want to talk about the legal landmines. This is your area of expertise and I want to know the legal issues that are particularly important for women to understand. The average woman, that maybe she doesn't even realize she's exposed to these, that maybe she has things that she doesn't even realize she's exposed to that are vulnerabilities to lawsuits, to paying more taxes. Can you run through some of the most important things to be aware of because these are the things that can ultimately derail us.

[D]

Absolutely. For those of us who are in a relationship, my advice, whether you're married or you have a long term partner, you need to be familiar to some extent with what they have going on financially because it can affect you. Does your partner have a secret financial life? In many respects, this can be more damaging to our long term finances than an ordinary indiscretion or an affair within the relationship. We want to not shrink away from the finances of the household. I have friends, I have cousins who say, oh, all of that gives me a headache. I don't even look at bank statements. You could be unpleasantly surprised if your partner has mortgaged your house, your condo and you don't know about it because you have willfully kept yourself in the dark. We need to be conversant with our partner's habits and if we think the relationship is not stable, we need to take proactive measures to protect ourselves. If we're in a marriage. And I'm sure people in this situation where they say, you know what, it's definitely not going to work out, but I don't want to disrupt the children while they're in high school. So we're going to wait until X date and then we're going to separate. Well, between now and then you need to get your financial house in order. I would recommend that women change their financial login information. You may want to change your social media login information so that in a scorched earth type of breakup, there's no telling what the other person can do, which can cause reputational harm. If there are any compromising images or for amateur videographers who shot footage during happier days. You may want to get into that shared device and delete those images or it can cause you harm. Do you want to see these images being uploaded to your workplace email and all of your colleagues seeing something? So we want to be defensive and take steps to protect ourselves. My spouse is the one who is able in a hospital setting to make life and death decisions. You don't need a lawyer to do a new Health Care proxy By way of background, I was a New York state legislator for 14 years and the health care proxy law of all 50 states is designed to be DIY. So I encourage anyone jump onto my website. You can download the free forms and so start to take some proactive steps to protect yourself from someone else who may not have your best interests at heart.

[C]

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[A]

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[B]

Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. And if you're anything like me, holiday shopping has officially started and you know where I'm going. Ulta Beauty they have the cutest gift sets right now like the Sol de Janeiro, Shea Rosa and Cheer Perfume Mist Trio. It smells so good. I've been misting it everywhere. On me, on the street, on my pillow. It's a whole vibe I'm obsessed with the Tarte Kindness Cafe Collector set. It's packed with everyday makeup must haves and it's honestly too cute to wrap. And if you need a cozy little self care moment, the Moroccan Oil Hand Care Essentials Kit is luxe, hydrating and smells delicious. Don't worry if you can't decide right now. An Ulta Beauty gift card is the perfect gift for everyone. So whether you're gifting your bestie or yourself, make the season Yours and head to Ulta Beauty today. Ulta Beauty gifting happens here.

[C]

And as you were speaking, this is all important, but I think it's also key to say that you should do this even if you're in a healthy, happy marriage.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Even if you don't foresee issues down the road. One of you is not on the deathbed. Couples need to have transparency in their relationship all the time. We would hope that we wouldn't get into these sorts of difficult times, but hopefully we're being proactive in all the times, not just when the going gets tough.

[D]

Yeah, 100%. And when we talk about prenuptial agreements, which I am absolutely in favor of, we have a divorce rate. The statistics vary a little bit, but the average pegs it at about 42% of marriages will not make it. And good legal protection going into this marriage is going to protect both parties. If I have, and it's often the woman who has disrupted her career path for the sake of the upcoming marriage. I want to know, in the event that it does not work out, how am I going to be made whole? So I think there's a misconception that relationship documents post nuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement really favors the wealthy party. I would say then that document was not properly because it should be used to make the less financially secure party whole in the event that the relationship doesn't work out. And we can view these documents as a mission statement. What are our financial goals? Do we want to save for a vacation house that we use intermittently as a rental to generate rental income? This can be a wonderful project and a great creative outlet for us. Decorating and rehabbing the place and ultimately generating rental income. Long term growth appreciation of the property. And we can also benefit from a tax boost in the form of depreciation of the investment. Real estate.

[C]

That's a good idea. Yeah, we never think of that. We never think of prenups as well, like this active marriage plan. We think of it as here's what's going to happen when we break up. But it can also be used as an action plan for the marriage in terms of how we manage the money, manage our investments 100%.

[D]

So take the example. I meet someone and we're not thinking clearly in the beginning. Right. Our brains are emitting oxytocin and we're literally out of our minds in love. We need to take a critical eye to both of our spending patterns. If my spouse is a sports memorabilia collector or collects antique armor and weaponry it may be cute and charming and quirky, but when we have a shared household and I see that he's spending $500 a month on this nonsense, it becomes old in a hur. So I think within a prenup, within a postnup, we can set limits on what our separate mad money purchases are going to be. And people will say that's crazy. Why do we have to deal with a contract? It should be common sense. It's not. And we put things in writing to guard against faulty recollections. We've all played that game of telephone where the message is totally different when a little time and different people interpret it in different ways. So we put things in writing to guard against faulty recollections. And it really is like a mission statement that we can pull out, dust off once in a while and edit it. Almost a governing plan.

[C]

Shifting gears now to long term care. Speaking of protecting ourselves, if we don't plan for our lives as we age, the cost of aging. Ann Margaret this can be detrimental to our financial lives as women, especially because we're living longer, longer than men in many cases.

[D]

Yeah, we are likely to live 10 years longer than a male partner. So it is really important for us to think about what are our plans for getting older. And it's interesting. This is the number two human fear, the fear of aging.

[C]

Seriously, what is number one?

[D]

Number one is public speaking. Yes, the number one human fear above dying. Another show will dive into that. But I think when we think about aging, it is frightening to think about we're going to be out of control, we're going to be dependent upon other people for all of our human needs. And I think all of us would hope one day many years from now to drift off quietly while we're sleeping. But for many of us, that is not the case. And in the US we have, as everyone knows, less than optimal health care delivery system for people 65 and over. Everyone has Medicare and almost everyone has a Medicare supplement which does a great job of covering the acute phase of an illness. But it does nothing to help me in the event that I require custodial care. That's help with the cranky activities of daily living. Feeding, bathing, dressing, toileting. So we either need to pay privately for this or look into long term care insurance. This can be a landmine area of the insurance world because in all 50 states the long term care insurer is allowed legally to increase our annual premiums. So if I think I'm being brilliant and locking into a policy while I'm in my 50s and the premiums are somewhat affordable. That does not mean that the company has to hold those premiums steady. As I hit my 70s and early 80s, they can and will increase the premium. I encourage folks who are interested in learning about this talk to a good financial advisor about a hybrid long term care policy which is based on a whole life insurance model. If we end up not using the care features, there will still be a death benefit for our loved ones down the road. So that's a nice way to hedge our bets. We also want to protect our single biggest asset which for most of us is the home. 80% of Americans over 65 own their own home and they should think about putting it into a trust to prevent their beneficiaries down the road from having to go through probate of a will and to obviate the capital gains taxes. If I bought the property for 50,000 and it's now worth 650,000, I want to make sure that my loved ones don't have to pay capital gains. And if this trust is properly drafted, we will get the five year look back starting to run. This is a federal law that says if your home is in a properly drafted trust for five years and the person needs long term care later on, no one can look at the house, touch the house and the nursing facility can no longer put a lien on the house. So that's super important.

[C]

Going back to what you were saying about long term care insurance and how the premiums could go up as you age, is that every plan or is that just something to keep an eye out for?

[D]

That is every plan is allowed to increase the premium. And by way of background, during my tenure in the legislature in New York for 14 years, I sat on the insurance committee and we toyed with having a law saying that the insurance company would not be able to raise those premiums because you're forging a bargain here. The insurance companies threatened to pull out of New York state and bring jobs to neighboring states. The legislature caved to the insurance companies. It is incumbent upon us to inform ourselves no company that I've seen my clients have that have not increased the premiums. Every state has a Department of Financial services or an insurance company tasked with approving these rate increases and they do it 100% of the time. So I think you expect the premiums to go up.

[C]

Wow. Given your legal background and your policy work, if you could snap your fingers, what are you A couple of policies you would love to reform today to make life for daily Americans more financially achievable, whether it's taking a look at the student loan laws. You mentioned, insurance law. How about long term care, divorce law, property laws, taxes? Where do you think change could lead to helping millions of Americans, not the richest, but the average American?

[D]

Going to duck your very good question because having been a legislator for 14 years, I see that what can be changed can be changed back and changed again. And I would encourage my peers to focus less on advocacy and focus more on informing ourselves about the law as it exists now. Yes, by all means, advocate for parity in pay. That has been a fight that's been going on for more than 60 years without a resolution. So would I encourage my sister or my best friend to spend their time fighting against the situation that exists or arming themselves with the information and the contacts and the confidence to thrive in spite of the uneven playing field that still exists? So I'm all about supporting each other. And they say that women are not always great and helpful and supportive of each other. You need to cut those toxic people out of your life. If you have to see them at a party, give them an air kiss and surround yourself instead with the people who are going to boost you, who are going to give you the no nonsense information that you need to thrive and hit your goals in this uneven society that we still live in.

[C]

All right, well, before we wrap, Margaret, you'd mentioned briefly at the top how you have this personal journey of going from public assistance to where you are today. What was an early mindset shift that helped you break out of your early days? The, like before and after moment, maybe?

[D]

Yeah, the before and after moment occurred when I was about nine years old in school. They were organizing a drive for poor people over the holidays. And I went into our pantry and pulled out a can of Spam and brought it into school. I felt so wonderful contributing and helping. I think we get out of our own mindset when we do this. Two weeks later, there's a knock on the door, and wouldn't you know, it's some lovely guy from the church bringing a big basket of food to our house. I thought, oh my goodness, we are the poor family that the whole school was collecting for. At first I thought I would die of embarrassment and I was afraid that the other kids at school would know. Long story short, in the basket, I noticed a brown, shiny plastic bag filled with little Snickers bars. So my embarrassment went away. I pulled that bag of Snickers bars and hid it from everyone else in the house. And it was like magic. To me, that someone was so thoughtful. They imagined a child on the other end of this basket. And it really sparked a little bit of magic in my life, as silly as that sounds. And it caused me to start to see what kind of magic I can make in other people's lives. This is one of the laws of physics. What you put out there cannot help but come back to you. If you're hoping for a new beautiful house, go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Do what you can to help someone else get a roof over their head. I do believe that's going to come back to you.

[C]

It's such a great story, especially as we head into the Thanksgiving holiday. Ann Margaret Caroza, it's been great to have you on. Congrats again on your book. It's called A Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth.

[D]

Yeah. And if I can tell folks where to reach me on Instagram.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

Please, yes, tell us Ylawyerann Noe Ylawyerann and I look forward to seeing everyone on Instagram.

[C]

Thank you so much. Thanks so much to Ann Margaret Caroza for joining us. Her forthcoming book is called the Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth. I'll see you back here on Wednesday. And I hope your day is so Money.

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