1923: Ask Farnoosh: How to Get Financially Unstuck (Debt, Work, Retirement)

Summary

So Money with Farnoosh Torabi

Episode 1923: Ask Farnoosh – How to Get Financially Unstuck (Debt, Work, Retirement)
Date: December 26, 2025 (Original Ask Farnoosh segment from April 26, 2024)

Episode Overview

In this engaging "Ask Farnoosh" episode, Farnoosh Torabi dives into some of the most pressing financial dilemmas sent in by listeners. With empathy and candor, Farnoosh addresses feeling stuck in debt, facing burnout in a high-paying job, and weighing the possibility of early retirement in a shaky job market. The episode is filled with actionable advice, encouragement, and a reassuring reminder that personal finance is as emotional as it is practical.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Escaping High-Interest Credit Card Debt

(Segment Begins: 02:45)

• Question from Jude:
  Jude, single with no children and earning $98,000, is struggling with major credit card debt at a 30% interest rate and a credit score of 654. Jude feels overwhelmed, ashamed, and is unsure whether to consolidate, declare bankruptcy, or seek other options.

• Farnoosh’s Initial Reassurance:

  • "Drop the shame because debt happens. Just ask the millions of people in this country that have it..." (03:40)
  • Farnoosh acknowledges the emotional weight of debt, emphasizing that Jude is not alone and the situation is highly relatable.

• Practical First Steps:

  • Consult a Non-Profit Credit Counselor:

    • Organizations like the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) or Money Management International provide free or low-cost services.
    • "Anyone who promises that they're going to help you wipe out your debt in a month or a year, I would not trust them." (06:05)
    • These organizations can create a 'debt management plan', advocate for lower interest rates, and help restructure payments.

  • Lifestyle and Spending Review:

    • Since Jude is single with no dependents, Farnoosh encourages evaluating housing and recurring expenses. Side hustles or taking on additional work can make a big difference.
    • Farnoosh shares her own experience:

      “In my twenties I didn't have six figures worth of debt, but I had $30,000... my cure for that was to bring in multiple revenue streams ... I brought in money through babysitting and pet sitting and freelance writing and I brought collect about $500 to $1,000 extra dollars a month and help to knock down that debt.” (09:10)

  • Directly Negotiating with Creditors:

    • Call your credit card company to ask about lower rates or hardship programs.
    • Even small reductions from 30% can make a difference.

  • Debt Consolidation and Loans:

    • Research personal loans for consolidating debt at a lower interest rate. While Jude’s credit isn’t ideal, Farnoosh notes it is "not terrible" and better terms may be available than 30%.
    • Visit sites like Nerdwallet or Bankrate.com for up-to-date options.
    • "Just be careful applying for too much credit because that can also bring down your credit score." (13:20)

  • Big Picture Advice:

    • Stay proactive and avoid shame; work with trustworthy resources and take incremental steps.

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2. Burnout and Taking a Break from Work as the Breadwinner

(Segment Begins: 14:44)

• Question from Claudia:
  Feeling burned out after 13 years in a high-paying, dead-end job, Claudia wants to take a 6-month break. Her husband’s salary will cover 70% of expenses, and she has enough emergency savings for about 5-6 months. Claudia is fearful of becoming financially dependent on her partner and worries about re-entering the workforce at 40.

• Understanding the Emotional and Financial Factors:

  • Farnoosh empathizes deeply, acknowledging how common this predicament is, especially among women:

    "I just want to say I so relate to this ... especially like maybe I don't know if she's a parent here, but even if not... she's the breadwinner in her relationship and she's burned out." (15:16)

• Possible Approaches Before Resigning:

  • Consider a sabbatical or part-time arrangement instead of quitting outright.
    • “Is there a way to cut back to 20 hours a week, to take a sabbatical, even without completely leaving this job, this company?” (16:00)
  • Have a candid conversation with your employer about your situation—sometimes flexibility is possible.
  • Assess whether the company itself (not just the role) contributes to dissatisfaction.

• Job Market Realities and Financial Runway:

  • Mid- to senior-level job seekers are currently facing slower hiring cycles.
    • “...people who are mid to senior level, who get laid off or quit, are needing time to get back in the workforce...employers are taking their time to hire.” (17:10)

• Mindset and Communication:

  • Farnoosh normalizes the fear of dependence:

    "This fear of being dependent on somebody else I think is natural... you have earned this decision. You have worked hard. You are entitled to this..." (19:31)

  • Staying honest with both one’s partner and oneself about spending is vital during this period.

• Host's Own Experience:

  • Farnoosh shares her personal journey of shifting priorities and taking intentional time away from the relentless pursuit of higher income:

    “Scaling my revenue is not as important as scaling my health, my time, and my relationships.” (20:28)

• Final Encouragement:

  • Give yourself permission to pause:

    “We need to give ourselves permission to do that. So I'm giving you permission, Claudia. I hope you'll take it.” (21:40)

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3. Should I Take an Early Retirement Package?

(Segment Begins: 22:03)

• Listener’s Dilemma:
  A listener (unnamed) is considering an early retirement package at work, but needs to continue earning and feels uncertain about the job market.

• Key Factors to Assess:

  • What are the full details of the offer? (How many months’ pay/benefits, etc.)
  • How long will this stretch your finances?
  • Will this truly provide enough runway for the next step, or is it purely an emotional escape from burnout?
  • Is staying longer with the company a better financial choice due to promised long-term benefits or bonuses?

• Strategic Steps:

  • Financial Readiness:
    • Review your retirement situation—are you actually ready to stop working? Use retirement calculators for baseline estimates.
    • Consider paying for one or two sessions with a certified financial planner for personalized advice.
  • Assessing the Industry and Employer:
    • Companies offering voluntary packages may be struggling and future layoffs could be inevitable.
    • “A layoff may be inevitable for companies where they're offering this employment early leave package to certain employees. Just keep that in mind that your job could be at risk.” (25:02)
  • Job Transition:
    • Factor in the likelihood of job opportunities at the same salary/level and what retraining or upskilling may be required.
    • Evaluate your own willingness and ability to work part-time or shift industries.

• Memorable Story:

  • Farnoosh shares a real-life example of someone who weighed an early retirement package against waiting for a significant milestone bonus at her employer, ultimately staying and benefiting financially.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Shame and Debt:

  "Drop the shame because debt happens. Just ask the millions of people in this country that have it..."
  (Farnoosh, 03:40)

• On Overcoming Burnout:

  "Scaling my revenue is not as important as scaling my health, my time, and my relationships."
  (Farnoosh, 20:28)

• On Permission to Pause:

  "We need to give ourselves permission to do that. So I'm giving you permission, Claudia. I hope you'll take it."
  (Farnoosh, 21:40)

• On Early Retirement Risk:

  “A layoff may be inevitable for companies where they're offering this employment early leave package to certain employees. Just keep that in mind that your job could be at risk.”
  (Farnoosh, 25:02)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:45 – Jude’s credit card debt question
• 03:40 – Addressing shame and starting the debt conversation
• 09:10 – Farnoosh’s personal debt repayment story
• 13:20 – On credit applications and credit score impact
• 14:44 – Claudia’s burnout and career break question
• 16:00 – Considering a sabbatical or part-time work
• 17:10 – Realities of re-entering the job market
• 19:31 – On the fear of financial dependence
• 20:28 – Scaling health, time, and relationships over income
• 21:40 – Granting permission to pause careers
• 22:03 – Early retirement package dilemma
• 25:02 – Layoff risk at companies offering early exit packages

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Tone and Takeaway

The episode is packed with Farnoosh’s trademark blend of practical wisdom and empathetic reassurance. She de-stigmatizes financial struggle and career transitions, encourages informed action, and reminds listeners that their well-being should be at the heart of every money decision.

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Summary

If you're stuck in debt, burned out at work, or at a crossroads with retirement, this episode offers both comfort and clear next steps. Farnoosh's guidance is rooted in lived experience and a deep understanding of financial (and emotional) reality. Whether you need tactical resources or simply permission to pause, Farnoosh delivers actionable advice straight from the heart.

Transcript

[Farnoosh Torabi]

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So many episode 1923 ask Farnoosh.

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You're listening to so Money with award winning money guru Farnoosh Torabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers and from Farnoosh herself.

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Or double your double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to so Money.

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Welcome to so Money everybody. I'm Farnoosh Tarabi. Hope you've been enjoying our walk down memory lane this week, revisiting some of the best episodes of 2025. On Monday, we listened to excerpts from interviews about finance and feminism. On Wednesday, conversations around AI, money and work and all of the changes that are afoot. What you're about to hear is a replay of an AskFarnoosh episode from April 26, 2024. It may seem like decades ago, but the questions back then still resonate. We have people in the audience wanting to know how to get out of credit card debt, they are buried. Somebody wants to quit her job. She's the breadwinner, but she's nervous about doing that. Even though she's saved up a little bit of money, she's worried about being dependent on her partner. Does that sound familiar? And then someone wants to know. Farnooj, should I take an early retirement? My wife and I want to continue making money. The job market's just okay. It's a really weird time to be looking for work. What do I do? All right, let's get into it. First up in the mailbag, Jude writes in. Concerned about their level of credit card debt, Jude says, firstly, I'm so happy I discovered your podcast, Farnooch. Thank you. Here's my situation. I'm single. I have no children. I have to pay for rent, and I'm in major credit card debt. The interest rate on my credit cards is 30%. My credit score is 654. I'm so ashamed and upset. This debt happened so quickly. I make $98,000 a year, and I only spend on my necessities. The interest rate is killing me, and it's making it impossible to get out of debt. Please advise on how to get out of this suffocating debt. Should I be consolidating, and if so, who do I trust? Can I get loans with no property and bad credit scores? Can I declare bankruptcy? Thank you so much for your help. I trust you. All right, Jude, I appreciate this question. Thank you for saying you trust me. I have a bunch of tips for you. Are you ready? You want to grab the transcript probably to this episode. But first, just I'm going to tell you this, right? I'm going to tell you to drop the shame because debt happens. Just ask the millions of people in this country that have it, whether it's because they are paying back healthcare costs or they're just trying to make ends meet. The good news is you make close to 100 grand a year, which I know doesn't really go that far compared to, say, even just five years ago. But you are single, you don't have dependents, and as far as I can hear, you're not locked into any fixed costs every month, say, for those minimums on your credit card. You know, you've got rent, which you've got to honor, but there are probably a lot of adjustments you can make to your lifestyle, to your expenses every month to shore up some cash. Getting to that in a minute. But I just want to start with the good news, which is that you don't have to feel guilty or shameful and you have a job which pays arguably well. I don't know how much debt you're in. You did not include that detail, so I'm guessing it's quite a bit. But no matter how much debt you're in, you don't have to feel like you have to go alone on this journey. You can work with a professional. It won't cost you a lot. It might not even cost you anything. There are organizations not for profits that love to work with people like you to help them get out of debt slowly, correctly. Anyone who promises that they're going to help you wipe out your debt in a month or a year, I would not trust them. Again, don't know the amount of your debt, but based on the tone of your voice in your question, the way I'm reading it, you are probably five, maybe six figures in debt. So that's going to take time. And people that I think you can trust are folks who work for the national foundation for Credit Counseling or Money Management International. These are two not for profit organizations. They employ certified credit counselors. The first meeting is free. They will examine your situation and suggest a plan. Often they have what's called a debt management plan. It's a nominal monthly fee, but if you're in dire straits, it could be completely free. They could waive it. They will help you and be advocates for you. They'll help you get on a plan. They'll work with your creditors to try to lower those interest rates. You have a, you have an important job that's making important money. You may not have the hours per week it could take to go back and forth with your creditors. So they will do that for you. Potentially. It may be tricky because of where your credit score is, but honestly, your credit score is not terrible. My guess is that it's where it's at below 700 because your debt to credit ratio, your credit utilization, you have a lot of debt is high and that's dragging down your score. But once you start making bigger dents in your credit card bills, you will see that score grow, assuming you're paying on time and you're not taking on more debt. Everyone I've interviewed on this podcast who's gotten through six figures worth of debt somehow, they always say it takes time, but it also takes significant changes to your lifestyle, to your spending to bring in that money each month to put towards your credit card debt. So is there a way that you can make those adjustments? And maybe they won't be overnight, but you can start planning towards those adjustments and only you're going to know what's feasible. I can offer some ideas like renting a different apartment, moving to somewhere more affordable, moving back in with family, taking on more work. And this is how I did it. In my twenties I didn't have six figures worth of debt, but I had $30,000 worth of debt. And my cure for that was to bring in multiple revenue streams in addition to my full time job. I, like you, was independent, I was single, I didn't have anyone to take care of and so I side hustled it. I brought in money through babysitting and pet sitting and freelance writing and I brought collect about 500 to 1,000 extra dollars a month and help to knock down that debt. Have you tried calling your credit card companies and just seeing what they can do for you? Put you on a better payment plan, reduce the interest rate. You're assuming a lot because you're overwhelmed. There's guilt there, there's shame here. And you're not happy with your credit score. So you're making a lot of assumptions about what is not possible. But you never know, right? You have to be an advocate and make these phone calls. And if you don't want to make these phone calls, then you can work with potentially a credit counselor through one of those organ organizations. I'll repeat them. National foundation for Credit Counseling, Money Management International. There are of course personal loans out there too. That might be a recommendation from one of the credit counselors is to consolidate this debt onto a personal loan. It may be hard to qualify, but you're telling me the interest rates on your credit cards is 30%. I'm going to bet money that you could probably find a personal loan that would consolidate all this credit card debt and the interest rate would still be high, but not more than 30%. So you would be saving that way. But call your credit card companies and just ask if there's a way for them to knock down 5, 10% because 30%, I just looked it up. Is that even legal? Sadly it is. But I got to believe there are better options out there for you that might not be 5% or 10%. We're in a high interest rate environment. I would go to a site like Nerdwallet or Bankrate.com and see what kind of credit card offers are available to you. What kind of personal loan offers might be available to you based on your credit to see if it makes sense to transfer some of this debt onto lower cost, lower interest rate loan or Credit card. In fact, if you go to bankrate.com and you click on credit cards, you'll see a dashboard and there's a little button that says bad credit, which again, I don't think you have terrible credit. But whatever, it's not pristine. You go there and they can show you and they have options here where you can apply. And just be careful applying for too much credit because that can also bring down your credit score. So just pick up the phone and call these banks and say, hey, I know I haven't qualified yet, I'm not, I haven't applied yet. But generally what is the going rate for someone like me? See if they can just tell you without needing to apply and let me know how it goes. I want to continue helping you. This question comes from Claudia on Instagram and she says I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I hear this word a lot, by the way. I'm stuck in a dead end but high paying job. After 13 years, I'm burnt out and I'm ready to leave. I'd like a six month break for my own sanity instead of jumping straight into a new job. My husband has a good paying job, but it can only cover about 70% of our monthly expenses. Plus I'm terrified of being financially dependent on someone for more than a few months. I have an emergency fund which would allow me about five to six months of freedom to find an opportunity. Is that a terrible idea? Would you recommend it or not? Oh, and I just turned 40, so there's that. So re entering the workforce after this pause at a comparable salary is what's concerning me help. All right, here's my answer and it might be a little all over the place, but I first of all, I just want to say I so relate to this and I know a lot of women who have been go going for their entire adult lives. They hit a point, right? Especially like maybe I don't know if she's a parent here, but even if not just that speed, that fortitude of work, she's the breadwinner in her relationship and she's burned out and or no longer interested in this particular career or job that she has. That's fair. You're allowed to feel this way and it's very common. First, I just want to point out that what I'm hearing from you is that you are a bit burnt out and it could be the conditions of the job before we throw the baby out with the bathwater, before we quit 100%. Is there something in the middle? Is There a way to go back to your employer, your boss, your manager, and just be honest. If you've already gotten to the point where you're ready to leave, then you're probably at a point where you can have a fearless conversation with your employer about the reality of your work and the pressures it's putting on you. Is there a way to cut back to 20 hours a week, to take a sabbatical, even without completely leaving this job, this company? A lot of times we don't like the job, but the company we like. And maybe there's somewhere else to move to within the company, a different role, a different team, a different building, an ability to work from home, because maybe the conditions of going into the workplace is what's adding stress. So before leaving completely, I would just encourage these first few steps to see if there's a way to continue to bring money in, because that's not a little thing, while also addressing your mental health, addressing your stress. You may go back to the job full time, you may not. But in the meantime, you're giving yourself space. We did an entire episode on Burnout a couple of years ago. It was right as we were emerging from the pandemic with Kate Donovan. She's the host of Fried the Burnout podcast. We talked about this issue that people have, this fear that I'm hearing from our friend about leaving work. There's a fear there, right, of what happens once I leave financially, how do I get back into the workforce? But then there's also this other fear of I don't like my job. And if I continue at this pace, other scary things might happen that have to do with my health, my sanity and my quality of work could slip. Maybe I'll get fired, which is not what I want either. So we have to hold these two fears in balance. And Kate, who has studied this and is an expert on stress and trauma, her advice is this. It's to try to find a little bit of a happy medium before you completely cut off from the job. Now, completely understanding that some people have reached the point where there is no other place to go but to head for the exit sign, that is understood. Some people are there, and you have to do that. But if you have the capacity to stay or to at least have a conversation with your employer about what's going on, to see what they are willing to offer. Because I assume if you've been at this job for a while, you're valued. They don't want to lose you, at least not within the next two weeks. So you're both incentivized to find a way to work together that isn't going to continue to erode a chip away at your mental health. I like that you have seen how much your savings can stretch you. That's important. Anyone considering this move, it's important to look at your numbers to get real. As difficult as it may be in this job market, especially for people who are mid level to higher up in their careers, it's difficult to find a job. And I think that it's in most industries right now. It's not just tech. Obviously if you work in healthcare relative to tech, you will probably find a job quicker in healthcare than in tech. But sometimes it's geographic based and role based. But in general, what I'm hearing anecdotally from the audience as well as what the data has been presenting is that people who are mid to senior level, who get laid off or quit, are needing time to get back in the workforce. And that's not because they're hanging out, just lounging. They're applying, they're networking, they're doing all the things. But employers are taking their time to hire. So having five to six months, which is what Claudia has saved, is great. But is it enough? I don't know her industry well enough to say yes or no. I think it's going to be around six months. If I had to guess as to when she would be able to find another full time job, assuming she's actively pursuing the hunt for a full time job. I'm Farnoosh Tarabi, host of so Money and this episode is sponsored by gelt. 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This fear of being dependent on somebody else I think is natural. And I feel it. Sometimes I express it. Sometimes we're not really being fair to ourselves. You have earned this. If you decide to do this, you have earned this decision. You have worked hard. You are entitled to this. Have earned this. You have created a safe exit plan for yourself. And as long as you stay in communication with your partner, as long as you are honest and real about your expenses and your capacity to spend so that you can make the most of this time off financially, I wouldn't be worried. But start with having a conversation with your employer. See what's possible. If 13 years you're burned out, I get it, you're ready to leave. But the good news is you've laid a lot of the healthy groundwork to be able to do this and to give yourself Runway and peace of mind. When you're the breadwinner in your relationship, it's awesome. But it shouldn't be expected or assumed that you're going to be in this role forever and ever. Relationships evolve. Life happens. The most important mindset to have is a flexible one. I'm in the same boat where I've been making more than my husband for the entirety of our relationship, and I want to take some time for myself over these next few months. I don't want to work and hustle as hard as I have for the last 20 years. I'm burnt out too, a little bit. And it's not like I'm going to completely stop working. I'll probably continue to make more than him, but relative to my own earnings pace, I'm choosing to not chase after the money so much right now because scaling my revenue is not as important as scaling my health, my time, and my relationships. My kids are getting bigger. They need me more. That's unshakable. I can't change that, thankfully, because I've strategized, I've worked. I've almost foreseen this. Like, I had to have known that I couldn't just be this energizer Bunny forever. And who knows, next year I might go back to running the sprints again. But right now I'm paying really close attention to what my mind needs, my body needs, my children needs. And we need to give ourselves permission to do that. So I'm giving you permission, Claudia. I hope you'll take it. Thank you for writing in. I think you are representing a lot of people right now with this question and I appreciate you. Good luck. And finally, another meaty question from the mailbag. A friend in the audience wants to potentially take a package, an early retirement package from work. But it's not like they can just stop earning. They need to continue making money and the job market is just okay, as we've covered. So what to do, my friend? What's the offer? I want to know. I want the details. And how long will this offer stretch? Can this offer replace an entire year's worth of income plus benefits? If you're done, if you've tapped out of this company, this job, this role, and you're maybe close to retirement but not quite there yet, that's enticing. That can be very enticing. And a year is a long time to get a lot done for your next step towards your next step. It could mean going back to get certified, learning a new skill, even just going out there and networking again with people you haven't networked with in a long time and applying for different jobs. Before you do this, of course, it's important to get a financial assessment of where you're at now and what your retirement currently looks like. Have you saved enough, invested enough for retirement or are you on the right track? You could work with a financial planner and pay for one or two sessions to get to the bottom of things. I know that financial planners typically work with people in a capacity. They take a percentage of your assets under management, one percent, one and a quarter percent for the duration of working together every year. But that's not realistic for a lot of people like you who you just want answers to a very specific problem. You're at this crossroad. You need some financial assessments and you could really benefit from somebody with expertise and who can guide you to your decision ultimately. And for that you would want to pay because this is really valuable information. You're not going to pay thousands and thousands of dollars, but maybe a retainer for a couple of months or a one time fee for an assessment. I will say on your own, there's a lot you can do. You can go online to various online retirement calculators and just get a sense of how retirement ready you are. And you're the best judge of this. How likely is it that you can get back into your industry after taking some time off quickly or at the same time, same salary? If you wanted to pivot and do something slightly different, what's that going to take? What's that investment? And you may be like our very first question asker, Claudia, in this episode. Who's burnt out? Are you burnt out? And you could really benefit mentally, emotionally from this time off. And all the while you're getting your income for a time period. You're getting a package. You need a plan is all I'm saying. You need a plan for how you are going to earn more. You may realize from that retirement calculator that you don't need to be making as much as you were before. You could work part time. You could do something that pays less. I won't be able to answer this definitively, but after doing some of your own research, maybe working with a professional planner, you'll have an answer that you'll feel more secure in. The other thing I would just add is companies that offer these voluntary leave packages are usually not doing very well and there may be a layoff in the future. So if you think that maybe you're going to get laid off down the road, what's that going to look like? What's the potential severance there compared to what you could earn right now by taking, voluntarily taking this package? Something to consider. A friend of mine just anecdotally was at a financial services company where they were routinely offering these early retirement packages, these lump sums. And she was about to turn 50 and wasn't in love with her job. But at her company there was this like really huge financial bonus that you would get if you, if you'd been with the company for x many years and you were there past 50, there was like some nest egg waiting for you from the company. And she was like, I want to get that nest egg. So she hung on because whatever she could have made in that early retirement package, she did the math. It was not going to be as much as what she could have made if she stayed. And she did stay and she did get it past 50 and then they laid her off. So a layoff may be inevitable for companies where they're offering this employment early leave package to certain employees. Just keep that in mind that your job could be at risk. And what would you prefer? The certainty won't come until you do some research and really working with a professional in this case, could have some great ROI for you. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. I'll see you back here next week. We're going to be revisit. We're going to be revisiting.

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Visiting the best of 2025 on Monday, money and midlife Conversations around the intersection of money and midlife. And then on Wednesday, all of the best conversations around building wealth. New ways to build wealth and secure our retirement. I hope your weekend is so. Sam.