← So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
1941: Ask Farnoosh: My Best Home Buying Advice, Investing for a "Mid-Term" Goal
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- [00:00]
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- [01:13]
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Farnoosh Torabi
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Sleep Number Customer/Listener
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- [02:52]
Farnoosh Torabi
Sew Money Episode 1941 AskFarnoosh.
- [02:57]
You're listening to Sew Money with a award winning money guru, Farnoosh Torabi. Each day, get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers, and from Farnoosh yourself. Looking for ways to save on gas or double your double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to so Money.
- [03:23]
Welcome to so Money, everybody. I'm Farnoosh tarabi. It's Friday, February 6th, and we're coming to you on super bowl weekend. One of the biggest cultural moments in our country is about to happen this Sunday with Super Bowl 60 kicking off in Santa Clara, California, not far from where my parents live. Fans around the world are going to catch the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots battle it out for the Vince Lombardi trophy. Bad Bunny will be playing the halftime show. A historic performance and coming off his big Grammy win, it's no doubt going to be quite, quite the week for Bad Bunny. Right? Like, I think I had a good week, too. I got out of the house, I went to the city. Someone recognized me from the so Money podcast. But to be Bad Bunny, wow, what a year so far for him. It's only February 6th, and I'm hosting a party this weekend at my house. It happened unintentionally. We got invited to a Super bowl party. Before I could accept, I was like, let me ask my husband if he's got plans because this is his holiday. It's not my holiday. And he said, I was actually thinking maybe we could have some people at our house. And then I went immediately into Persian mom catering mode. So I don't really care about the game. I love that the Patriots are in it because I'm from Massachusetts, so that's a big win for my geographical origin. But I don't really care really about the game. I honestly don't even know how the game is scored. Yeah. Between you and me, people have told me all the time, I've been schooled on this so many times I would fail the test. And I went to Penn State. You think I would know this by now. I don't. And I don't really care to learn anyway. I'm handling the food. Just, I'm gonna handle the department of Food and Catering. And I like that. I like that situation. So I've been working on getting us some barbecue and there will be adult beverages and it's gonna be, it's gonna be good fun at our house. And more people than just a few, by the way. It's gonna Be like a dozen people plus kids. But I look forward to it. I haven't hosted a party really at my house in a while, so I'm excited for that. Anyway, whether you're into the game, the halftime show, or just staying home with snacks and family, we're all in that weekend mindset right now. And so, given that, let's talk about money. Because it's always a good time to talk about money, right? What we're going to talk about today, obviously, is your questions, your money questions that have come into my domain over the past week or so. Whether that's. We met in real life and you asked me a question, you sent one through the virtual powers that be email, Instagram, dm. We're also going to talk about the news because there was quite a bit of it this week, financial news. You may have been reading about how bitcoin is crashing, right? It's crashing big time.
- [06:22]
It has slumped so bad, down nearly.
- [06:25]
50% from recent highs. The crypto market is panic selling right now. Volatility spiking across the digital asset space. Experts say this is because of institutional bitcoin funds that are withdrawing their assets. Liquidity is drying up. And there's also a broader risk off sentiment in markets, driving investors back into safe havens like gold. Gold is over $5,000 an ounce right now. My mom called me. I think I told you this story. Forgive me if I'm repeating this. She called me a couple weeks ago to ask, should I sell my gold? She's got a bunch of jewelry from the olden days when she was growing up in Iran that she's brought with her. She's had with her in all her like 50 years here. And it's just sitting in a lockbox at the bank. The immigrant mentality, right? Like, my mother loves the idea of having this wealth stored in her gold. She's hesitant to sell it and liquidate it and actually have money in her hands, cash money in her hands. And I just think it's. I don't know if it's an immigrant mentality. I think it's something that I hear often from people who have wealth in an asset, whether that is in a physical asset, like in this case with my mom, with her jewelry, their home, right? When your home builds equity or you have an investment portfolio or even an emergency fund with money in it that you've worked hard to build and get to a certain point, that there is this unwillingness to use that money, there is an unwillingness to tap that money. And my Question is always, okay, so you're not going to sell it, you're not going to liquidate. To what end? What is the goal? What is the better scenario than you having more cash in your hands right now? And sometimes the answer is a lot of things. Like, I won't sell my house to get the equity right now, because better than having money is having a place to live, right? Like, where are we supposed to go if we sell our house and cash out the equity? Given that we want to live in our town, we want to continue living here, and we're very comfortable where we are. So that wouldn't make sense, but for my mom and her gold. Like, she hasn't worn this in 50 years, this jewelry. She probably doesn't remember what it looks like, but it's valuable. And the only institution that's making money off this right now, the only person is the bank that's charging her monthly security deposit fees. So I said, look, mom, why don't you at least go get it valued, and then you can actually have a number to play with, so stay tuned for that. I don't know what ended up happening, but it's this hesitance that she has, and I see this in so many other ways that people sometimes have about actually executing on an asset that they have built up. If it's not serving you in any other way, why wouldn't you just take the money? I don't know. Call me crazy, but back to Bitcoin, it's falling hard. And I can't lie and say that I'm not a little happy about that, because, look, it's just. Of course it's down. It was going to happen. It's not a proven investment. It's very volatile. What is it even rooted in, what is the underlying kind of asset? With Bitcoin, it's nothing. It's absolutely nothing. So, look, invest in your crypto if you want, but don't bet the farm. And I know there are people betting the farm. I met someone in town last year at an event who said to me, my husband, he just bought all this, whatever cryptocurrency it was. And that's basically all we have invested right now. We don't have any other kinds of investments. I was like, oh, gosh, I don't think it's safe for us to be talking. I'm. I don't trust myself right now. What will come out of my mouth? And I don't want you to have a worse night than you might already be having, so don't be silly and invest too much in any alternative asset. And I consider crypto very much an alternative asset. Now that aside, also we're seeing in the news in recent days more signs of job market headwinds that the job market is. And we know this because we're in it every day. If you're listening, maybe you've been laid off recently or your partner's been laid off or someone you know has been laid off and they have not had a easy time finding work. I have a friend here in town who got laid off. I guess like her job, her project ended and it wasn't renewed. She's freelancer, but it has been incredibly difficult for her to find a full time job. And she is very talented, very experienced. But companies are being very slow to hire. They're not posting as many jobs right now. In January, employers announced more than 108,000 layoffs. That's the highest total for the month of January since guess when, since 2009. And we all know what that year was about. And that is a dramatic jump compared with last year, this time last year. So it's signaling that hiring attentions are at their weakest in years. Layoffs continue upward. We just saw a massive layoff at the Washington Post, right? 30%. 30% cuts across the board there. That was gutting to read about. And my heart goes out to all the journalists and everyone affected at the Washington Post and even for those who remain, is this not going to be fun trying to steer that ship with so few people there? And then of course the entire mood is shot, right? Can you imagine working somewhere where one out of three people lost their jobs, your colleagues? So there's a cooling job market that affects consumer confidence. That's going to have a trickle down effect, right? Even if you have a job, but you're hearing about job loss, that makes you worried. So you're then not going to go and maybe spend on the non essentials. It's going to slow wage growth. And all to say that this is making the case for having a financial cushion. Even more important if you haven't yet started to fortify Your emergency account, 4 months, 5 months, 6 months of your fixed living expenses short away in an account, I don't care. It doesn't have to be high yield. We're not trying to score points on this account. We're just trying to have liquidity and something to access in case of an emergency. We want accessibility with this account more than anything else. Let this be your sign and another sign that I guess shouldn't surprise us, but the S&P 500 finally hovering in negative territory for the year. I remember reporting on the S&P 500 a few weeks back for an investing workshop that I was leading. And I said, The S&P 500 is at up 2% year to date. I was like, you can't really read into this. It's only a few weeks in. Of course, this time last year we were up like 16%. So it is obviously less than last year. And you can argue that it's a slump. And now we are in negative territory for the year, which again tells us that people are feeling cautious, investors are timid, and it's February 6th, so hold on to your cash, everybody. And you can also say goodbye to frozen orange juice. As my last story minute made Frozen has been discontinued. RIP Coca Cola just announced it's exiting the frozen can category, which makes me wonder, when was the last time you bought frozen orange juice? I bought like, $9 orange juice from Whole Foods the other day. I don't really buy a lot of orange juice. I grew up on it, though. Tropicana, so much sugar. And so for my kids, they really like it. But it's not like we keep it in the house every weekend. I don't buy it all the time. And when I do get the good kind, I get like the freshly squeezed OJ from the store. And it was like, $9, and it was gone in four servings. So we don't buy orange juice all the time, but we splurge when we do. The reason Coke said for the shift was because consumer preferences are changing. And they're geniuses, right? They're doing a strategic focus on products that customers are actually buying more of. So that's capitalism in action, everybody. Companies adapting to what people actually want. All right, before we get to the mailbag and we have questions about, gosh, saving for future goals when you don't know what your future goals are. Gotta appreciate the hustle, though. How to invest. When you also run a business, should you invest and also invest in your business, should you invest in the stock market and in your business? How do I prepare financially for having a kid? I met somebody at an event last night who recognized me from hosting this podcast. Excuse me, are you Farnese Torabi? And I was like, am I in trouble? And then, no, it turns out she listens to this show. I was honored. And it's such a. It's such a nice thing, right? When people actually come up to you. And I was Very lonely at this event. I didn't know anybody. It's just like on my phone that was there to support a friend, but I didn't know anyone else there. And my friend was not with me at the time. And this woman caught me just kind of like being by myself. And she came up to me and started talking and really cool, really cool lady. And then she said, any advice for me as I'm looking to start a family this year? And I did give her some advice. I'll tell you what it was. And then we're gonna, we're gonna end. Also on my best home buying advice for 2026. I wrote a newsletter about this recently and it did very well. A lot of open rates. People are looking to buy a home this year and it's actually gonna be turning into a CNBC article. So I'll give you some of those nuggets in just a moment. But first, I wanna announce that next Friday, the 13th of all days, I will be co hosting a free workshop for all my friends out there who either want to start a podcast, have a podcast, and want to learn more about how I run the Sew Money podcast as well as this other new podcast I started last year called the Montclair Pod. And what I'm going to be really focusing on is the process of coming up with stories and staying competitive in a very crowded marketplace with your podcast. How to really cut through the noise, find your audience, grow your show and make money. So basically, how to treat your podcast like a business and not just a nice thing that you do to be able to talk to people and feel cool that you have a podcast. Like, no, actually, this is, this can be a business for you. This can be a revenue stream for you, and in some cases it can be a primary revenue stream. But you have to come to my workshop to learn how to do it because a lot of people won't tell you how to do it. A lot of people will just say, you got to get big, you got to get really big. You got to have a lot of audience. And sure, of course those podcasts make money, but it's not the only way. And luckily it's not the only way because most of us will never get to that level of having Amy Poehler level audience, which, by the way, love, love her podcast. Good hang. So good it won the Emmy for Best podcast of the year. So I'm hosting this workshop next Friday with my co host, Michael Schreiber of the Montclair Pod, who's also a media Genius. We went to graduate school together for journalism and we are excited to hang out with y'. All. We're going to reserve time for your questions and to sign up for that live event. By the way, it's going to also be recorded so if you can't join live, still want to register? That link is in our show notes to register, you'll get the link for the event and that will also put you on the list to make sure you get the recording of the event. So very excited about that. I'll be reminding you of it again next Friday and hope to see many of you there.
- [18:52]
Let me tell you about my most recent online shopping spiral. You know the one you're scrolling? You find the thing, you add it to the cart and then checkout hits. Suddenly you're being asked for a password you definitely created five years ago, or your wallet's in another room, or your card is somewhere in the abyss of your bag. And then if you're lucky, you see it. It's that purple pay button that has all of your information saved, making checking out as simple as a tap of your screen. In the chaotic world of online shopping, honestly, this feels like a small miracle. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Alo Yoga, Heinz and Mattel to brands just getting started behind the scenes, Shopify gives sellers everything they need in one place, from inventory and payments to analytics. So you're not juggling a million platforms just to keep your business running. If you're building a brand, Shopify makes it easy to stand out. With hundreds of ready to use templates, you can create a beautiful online store that actually reflects your style. And Shopify doesn't just help you build a brand, it helps you grow. From easy to run email and social media campaigns to finding customers who've never heard of your brand before. It's like having a marketing team in your corner. See less carts go abandoned and more sales go with Shopify and their Shop Pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com somoney go to shopify.com somoney that's shopify.com somoney.
- [20:28]
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- [20:58]
Boost Mobile Representative
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- [21:03]
Farnoosh Torabi
Wait, we're going on tour?
- [21:04]
Boost Mobile Representative
Not a tour. We're delivering and setting up customers phones so it's easier to upgrade.
- [21:09]
Farnoosh Torabi
Let's get in the tour bus and hit the road.
- [21:10]
Boost Mobile Representative
No, not a tour bus. It's a regular car we use to deliver and set up customers phones at home or work.
- [21:15]
Sleep Number Customer/Listener
Are you a groupie on this tour?
- [21:16]
Boost Mobile Representative
We deliver and set up phones. It's not a tour.
- [21:19]
Farnoosh Torabi
Oh, you're definitely a groupie.
- [21:21]
Boost Mobile Representative
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- [21:25]
Farnoosh Torabi
Delivery available for select devices purchased@boostmobile.com here's.
- [21:28]
Boost Mobile Advertiser
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- [21:46]
Farnoosh Torabi
All right, let's hit the mailbag. First up, I had a conversation this week with a listener who lives out in the Pacific Northwest. Young man, he's doing very well. Single guy, making good money. And now he wants to make the most of his income. He's finally making a steady paycheck. He's able to invest for his retirement. He's been saving his money. He's been able to afford what he needs to afford living independently. And then he asks how do I make sure that future me is taken care of too? Not like future future me because he's got the retirement on autopilot, that savings. But in the event that in 10 years he decides, oh, I want to buy a house or I want to go back to school or start a business or whatever. Something that costs between 50 to $150,000 or something like that, whether it's a down payment on a home or who knows, but just something life changing that's going to cost. How do I, first of all, do I really need to know what that is before I start saving for it. And then where do I save that money? How do I build that nest egg? So I said, all right, good news, you've got a lot of the foundation that you need to start now thinking about this sort of extra stuff because he's got that emergency savings of three to six months of his living expenses, he is again investing for retirement. Love to see that his employer actually offers a match. So he's benefiting from that. Now what he's really trying to develop is a flexible goals bucket. And know that you do not need to know what exactly it's for because guess what, life changes. Even if you were today to earmark that for something specific, I want you to know you have permission to change your mind. Because life changes, right? Our life experiences reinforce of what we are really wanting and needing in life. So create the bucket, call it tbd. And this is middle ground savings. I wouldn't say you want to invest this money like you are investing for retirement because you have a much longer time horizon. You can take on more risk potentially with that with your retirement account than you would want to with this middle ground savings. Okay? So what I would say is if you definitely don't need this money for the next 10 years, go ahead, invest it. But be a little bit more conservative about the mix of stocks versus bonds. Maybe you do 50% stocks, 50% bonds, or you could be more conservative and put it in a CD like a five year CD and then ladder that, move that into a another five year cd. Once that finishes its term, I wouldn't put it entirely in liquid savings again because you can afford to take some risk with this. And if you really want your money to grow and beat inflation, you're better off investing it in some way, shape or form. Whether it's again through a mix of stocks and bonds in the market, a cd, you are not going to regret having this money in 10 years. And that's the most important thing is having the money not living up to the initial goal of what this money was going to be for. Is it more exciting to save slash invest when you know what you're saved slash investing for? Of course. So if you wanted to take a little bit of time to think about it, do that. Get your hopes and dreams up, create a vision board, but automatically contribute a little bit every month to this flexible goals TBD bucket. And every year, assess, think about, can I do more this year? Should I do more? Does it make sense? Have my goals changed? All right, next question. I've been answering this question a lot all year, it's been what, five weeks into the years. The last five weeks I've been talking to people about how to invest when you also run a business. I just wrapped a three part series series for the entrepreneurs organization. They hired me to teach three workshops, taught twice each. So six, you can do the math, six workshops. And I actually just finished my third and I am now recording this podcast, which is why I have a giant bottle of water that I am drinking from, because my throat is. I think after this I might lose my voice. So consider yourselves lucky you're getting this podcast in before that happens. But it was eye opening because I consider myself an entrepreneur. Right. But a lot of the people in the audience who attended were business owners in the sense that they have employees, they have overhead, they've taken on potentially a lot more risk than a solopreneur like me. And so while I have no qualms about investing for retirement and compartmentalizing investing in my business versus investing in my future, for some business owners it's very different. It's more difficult to compartmentalize. You have to remember some business owners, they pour their entire life savings into their business and the business becomes the plan. That is the plan. The plan is to build this business, grow it, maybe sell it, cash out. And that is your retirement plan. And so now I walk in and I'm like, hey everybody, great that you have these businesses and all. Also you should be investing outside of your business. And that's been a little. That was a bit of a hard pill for some, but an important one. They all showed up, they got it, they wanted to learn, and it was very cool and a real honor to be able to teach to this audience of really phenomenal, successful business owners. And again, just to show you that even if you're a phenomenal, successful business owner, you may not be investing. This is not something that everyone does or understands right away the value of. And ever you feel like you're behind, just remember there are some successful entrepreneurs out there that are not investing in the stock market, not because they can't afford to, but just because they're not really sold on it. Like, why should I do that? And my real explanation for them was the budget for risk in your business is bursting at the seams. Like running a business is pure risk. It really is. Not to say that you can't be successful, but I started a business one time, a separate business, with two other women, co founders. And every day I felt like I was blowing out a fire. Every day I felt like this business just wanted to die. And it was my job to save it. And it was a different business than the one I'm running now. It's like an events business. We had staff, we had builders. It was a big endeavor and I just did it for a year right before it shuttered. And I just think about people who do that day in and day out. So yeah, their capacity for taking on more risk is shot. And I come in, I say, let's invest in the stock market. They're like, well, slow your roll, Farnoosh. I got enough risk over here. But that's precisely my point, right? You have so much risk over here in the business, you need to diversify and have another vehicle, another investment vehicle that is growing your money, creating some wealth for you that isn't as risky as your business. And believe it or not, the stock market with the right mix, with some bonds, it's actually more of a conservative approach than what you're doing over here with your business. And you need that balance of conservative and really high risk with your business. So with your investment portfolio, maybe you're not doing 100% stocks, right? You're doing something more like 50% stocks, 50% bonds. Or you do that calculation that we all do, we take 110, you subtract your age and that is the percentage of stocks that you're going to have represented in your portfolio. The rest is bonds and some cash. So we talked about that for a good now five weeks, three part series spread over five weeks. And did I mention that people in this audience were from all over the world? Yeah. So I learned a lot about how various systems work around the globe. Whether you live in the eu, Australia, Canada, Africa was eye opening. Japan, China, there's just the different structures that are out there. So in the States, a lot of our retirement is designed, our savings is built on maybe if we're lucky, an employer sponsored retirement account, some Social Security, maybe a pension if we're so lucky, because we work for some legacy companies that still have pensions. But of course in the EU it's more of a government supported subsidized retirement where you get like, almost like Social Security, but it's much, much more. And then I learned that in countries like Japan, it's similar to what we have here where it's a mix of a little bit of government help and also your own savings. I think one of the biggest takeaways, if I was in the audience listening to me, was that more than the market, what matters for your portfolio is you and your ability to control your emotions. And people love that. A lot of the conversation had to do with behavioral strategies, the things that we got to keep in mind to often avoid because it's human nature so that we don't mess up our investment strategy, we don't inadvertently hurt our ability to grow wealth because we make knee jerk reactions to the market, we try to time the market, we put too much in cash or we put too much in stocks. Our allocation is not right. So that stuff, I think felt very empowering at the end of the day for a lot of the people in the audience, because it didn't have anything to do with how much money you have or the types of investments you're picking or how you're accessing your investments. It's more about your own discipline around your investment portfolio and being mindful of that and controlling for that. Like I mentioned now, earlier this week, I was at an event, a media event, hosted by my friend and I was there to support her. And I was, as one does at sometimes these events, you get a little lonely. And I turned to my phone and I was had one ear to the crowd, one ear on my phone. And then this woman came up to me and said, excuse me, are you Farnish Tarabi? She said, I listen to your podcast and it's so cool to see you. I hear you now. I see you. I'm like, oh my God, that's so great. What's your name? We started talking. Shout out to Sophia if you listen. You really made my week, truly. I thought it was so cool to be spotted and then to have a conversation with you. I thought you were so cool. And then she asked about family planning and my biggest tips for someone who wants to raise a family, start having kids, and she has a full time job. And I said, look, you're in New York. I don't have to tell you it's very expensive to live here As a singleton and then I want to have a dependent, a child, it's going to be even more money. When I was living in New York, our full time nanny, in the beginning it was like 18, 20 an hour. These days I think it's not a surprise to pay upwards of $30 an hour, $35 an hour, $40 an hour. And so I'm, I guess I was lucky in a way that cost of living wasn't. And I thought it was so high back then, but I can't even imagine these days having to deal with childcare in the city. So my biggest piece of Advice, two things. Save, save. And just focus on that first year. Don't worry about forever and ever, but that first year. Understand what your company may or may not provide you in terms of paid leave, you and your partner, and then from there use that to figure out what kind of childcare you can afford. What is the arrangement that you would ideally want to have from a work life balance? And there are a lot of unknowns too. When you have a kid, you don't know if you really want to go back to work right away, if you don't know how accessible childcare may or may not be for you. Because a lot of this stuff, like hiring someone full time, let's say, or part time to be your nanny, it's an interview process. It doesn't always work out right away. There could be gaps in childcare. You might be on a wait list for a daycare. So there's no guarantee that your plan is going to go to plan. So having cushions, financial cushions to help you navigate all of that. Luckily in New York, there's a solution for everything. Everyone's thought of everything. It costs money, but the solution is out there. It's just a matter of do you want to spend money on it? But something I didn't really get to and I thought about it later as I was reminded of the conversation, I thought, I really think we should have talked also about working on creating more time, freedom for yourself now, building that into your life so that when your child arrives, you've already created this arrangement for yourself where you have more agency and control over your time. However you get there, there are many ways one could be having first, just a conversation with your employer right now. Can I start to work from home on Fridays and Mondays? Can I adjust my hours? What kind of flexibility do you want to have when you're a mom with your work? And how can you start to put that into practice now? Start to plant seeds so that can be more of a reality for you. Because equal to needing money, you also will need to have more control of your time. It's a luxury, it's a nice thing to have. But if you can start to work on that, and maybe sometimes it means finding an outlet for yourself, a career outlet for yourself that you own. We talked a little bit about with this woman, Sophia. We talked a little bit about finding a way to put her thought leadership out there in a way that wasn't too time consuming for her right now, but was again planting seeds. Maybe it's a newsletter, maybe it's a blog, maybe it's a podcast, I don't know. But working on her own professional development in that way. But whatever she's putting out there, she owns. And now between now and her kid growing up, being 12 years old, maybe by then she actually has an asset in that. And that can be something that she can really do full time and work more from home, be more independent and again, have more control of her time. Because that's one of the things that I spotted pretty early on in my career as a 20 something year old. Watching my older female peers have kids work and then be very discouraged because they had to work when they didn't want to work or they had to suffer the wrath of a boss and the control of a boss who was putting stuff on their schedule and making their time, not theirs. And I know it's obviously not something most people can afford or do, but if this is something that is important to you, planning goes a long way. We plan things and we factor in the costs. But what about the time? And actually, next week we have a very, very important conversation with Andy Hill, who's the author of a new book called Own youn Time. He's a financial coach, but interestingly, his book is not about how to budget or how to get out of debt or how to invest. It's about how to look at your time as an asset equal to your money and move through your financial life with that lens. It's very powerful stuff and it reminded me of this conversation with Sophia as we close. Before we go, parting advice for anybody out there who wants to buy a home in 2026. As I mentioned earlier, this was a newsletter that I sent out to my email list. If you're not on it, please subscribe. I'll put that link in the show notes. I write to my list once or twice a week. Money musings, mostly announcements, sometimes free giveaways. This one was about how to buy a home in 2026 if you're in the market. If you're curious, a lot of people are wondering, is now the time to buy? Rates are flattening. I don't know if they're going to go any lower than where they are right now, around 6%. Should I do it? Should I not do it? And I realized that I have bought a home in every decade of my life, starting at age 24. I bought an apartment at 24 and then again when I was 31 and then again when I was 40. So I don't think I'm gonna buy anything in my 50s, but we'll see. And with every purchase, I learn new things. I learn new things about myself, I learned new things about the process and I shared all that in the newsletter. But to relay some of that now on the pod, my 20 years of home buying advice in one email. My first piece of advice is know that your home that you're going to buy doesn't have to be a forever home. Don't put that much pressure on you or the home. Know that even if you go in with that expectation, oh my God, this is a perfect house. I love it. I'll never move. You have permission to move. You are not tied to this house forever and ever. Life will inform you of when it's time to move. And for us, I never thought we would leave Brooklyn, but essentially what happened was my kids were getting older, we wanted more space. And my son who had been diagnosed with ADHD as a kindergartner, he was in a private school and they essentially dead ended us, they were like, this is not going to work out for us. A child with ADHD at our private school, more or less. And rather than then try to go navigate the public school system, which I wasn't too keen on at the time in New York City where we were living, I was like, all right, this is a sign. We need. The decision's kind of been made. Education is too important to just cross our fingers and hope that the public schools here are going to serve our kid. So we started to look at the suburbs and honestly I was a little excited about saving money on private school. Not going to lie there. That was a huge financial pivot for us. I was prepared to buckle down and do what I had to do to invest in my kids private school education. Wow. What was I thinking? So glad we didn't do that. Much better quality of life. But again, you do what's important for your kids. If my son was thriving at that school, and it was, and it had ended up being the right place for us, we might still be there, we might still be in Brooklyn. You never know. But the truth is our lifestyle shifted. We wanted other things too, besides just a better school district. We wanted a backyard, we wanted more of the quiet of the suburbs. And it's almost like that Marie Kondo book, what was it called? The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, where we have such an attachment to things. Right. And I was so attached to that life in Brooklyn and the apartment and the lifestyle. And I felt like leaving was such a failure in some ways that it wasn't my plan and I couldn't make it work. But I realized New York had been really good to me and I've been good to New York, but especially Brooklyn. It's where we were brought home our babies. It's where we started our married life together. And that's not going away. Like, those memories are still intact. Those life experiences still happened and made me who I am. And now it's time to move on. And I honored that. I, you know, thanked New York and Brooklyn for that and with that mindset was able to leave the city with more resolve. Another piece of advice that I learned is that before you look at listings, you want to ask yourself some questions. As tempting as it is to rush to all the sites to look at listings, social media listing sites, you must first understand why you're there. Are you there just to browse? Are you there to get your hopes up? Are you there to crush your dreams? If you want to buy a home, let it be because you want predictability. You're ready to feel settled. You want your money to build something over time. You want more control. You're planning around your family or your future self. Conversely, maybe you don't buy, right? Because you like flexibility. You like the idea of being able to move and have that freedom to move, change jobs, try a new city without being tied to a property. Maybe your life and or your income are in flux. Maybe the math just isn't mathing right now. Maybe you don't want the responsibility. As I'm recording, it's still my leak in my roof is not fixed, okay? Fortunately, nothing's gotten wet since the last recording, but it's a problem. It's a eyesore too. I'm not happy about it. Buying versus renting isn't about doing what you should do. Remember that too, because a lot of people will should you into owning. And don't let them. Also focus on the numbers first and your feelings second. You know this, right? One thing real estate experts consistently tell me is that buyers who feel the calmest and make the strongest offers are the ones who understand their numbers early. So that means talking to a lender sooner than you think and understanding your true borrowing power, the real down payment that you're going to have to have, and also resolving any credit or debt issues early on and ahead of time so that you're not you want to go in with your best self, your best financial self, your best offer, because you're going to fall in love with listings. And if you don't have the financial profile to be able to actually make an offer for any of those listings. And that's no fun. That's like really gutting. I will link to this newsletter in the Show Notes. There's lots more advice on everything I've learned. I think I call the email something like my 20 years of home buying advice in one email. And it's true, there's probably much more that I could have written, but this was like the most pressing advice, especially for somebody who is looking to buy this year. And that's our show, everybody. As a reminder, next Friday, my free podcast workshop. Stop by if you'd like. That link is in our show notes and I'll see you back here on Monday. Happy super bowl weekend and I hope your team wins. I hope your weekend is so money.
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