← So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
So Money with Farnoosh Torabi
1971: Ask Farnoosh: Buy Gold? Save on Travel? And My Thoughts on Strangers by Belle Burden
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Farnoosh Torabi
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Farnoosh Torabi
So Money Episode 1971 Ask Farnoosh.
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Podcast Narrator
You're listening to so Money with award winning money guru Farnoosh Torabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers and from Farnoosh yourself. Looking for ways to save on gas or double your double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place. Seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to so Money.
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Farnoosh Torabi
Welcome to so Money everybody. It's Friday.
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Ask Farnoosh.
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April 17, 2026 and this Friday we're answering your questions about summer travel Is it a wise time to book those summer airline tickets? Do we think airfare is going to be more expensive come July, August? And some of you are curious about gold. With the ris in the value of this commodity, might it be something we want to have in our investment portfolios? We've also got some news to talk about, like a surprising study I found on the number one city where retirees are flocking to and it's not in Florida. I was shocked and also a bit delighted. But first I want to do a catch up, a proper catch up and share our spring break shenanigans, our Tarabi Duisinger spring break excursion with you, my family. We went to Los Angeles Monday through Friday this month, earlier this month. It was a whirlwind that consisted mainly of a child friendly itinerary, as one does at my life stage. Think Disneyland, Universal Studios. And we also toured a couple of the Hollywood studios like Warner Brothers. And spring break is a lot of pressure, I think, on families because at the same time you have this intellectual side of your brain that's like, I am not going to give in to, to the financial pressure and the emotional pressure, right? Because you see these families around you and you see the social media posts, people going to these all inclusive Caribbean resorts, restored castle on the coast of Italy and you have the fomo and at the same time you're like, if I stay home, that's miserable too. Because with school age kids, the reality is they're home all day and you're trying to do work. It's a lot. There are these sort of like spring break day camps we have and we've tried them, but the kids come home typically exhausted, cranky, and then I'm picking up the pieces and then when they're home, they're usually on a screen, let's be honest, while I'm trying to do a zoom call. So it's a lot of monitoring their screen time. Anyway, all this to say we caved last minute and I thought if we stay within the country it would be more economical. The flights were not inexpensive, but I think probably we did save some money on the flights. I know that on the way home we did save some money on food on the flights. I'll tell you. Stay tuned how that happened. But it was not as cheap as I was hoping because when you're doing things like Disneyland and Universal and all the theme parks, it's like I told my husband, everything is airport pricing, right? You want water, it's $8, you want to park somewhere that's $50 a. So it was premium pricing everywhere we went. I will say I'm very proud of myself for all of the great restaurants I booked. We went to a great Persian restaurant. We went to a great place called Firefly, Tokyo Cube, a great sushi place. Gemma. Hollywood had great pizza. Driving in LA was cruel and brutal, but unavoidable. If you're wondering Disneyland versus Universal, I would say Universal was where we got more bang for our buck. Disneyland was super crowded, even though we went on a Tuesday, which was supposed to be an off day, and we bought even the Express Pass so that we could take the rides faster. But Disneyland puts so many restrictions even on those Express passes that we honestly could only go on one ride quickly, given the fact that we were only there from 9am till 5pm instead of, you know, until the park closed at, what, 11:00pm Universal. On the other hand, we bought the Express Pass and we went on literally every ride we wanted. And it was amazing. The rides were also, I think, better. Okay, so then the flight home. We got free snacks and free meals on the ride home and free drinks because we had a massive delay and it was awful, guys. We got right to basically about to take off. We boarded the flight, we're about to take off, and then the pilot comes on and says we have to go back to the gate because the plane has some sort of issue, which I'm very thankful. Thankful for, obviously, but, man, couldn't they have figured that out before we went through the entire hassle of boarding and. Oh, my gosh. And then we got on a new flight about three and a half hours later. Not terrible in the grand scheme of airline meltdowns, right? But I ordered a glass of wine. My kids were hungry again, so I ordered them some snack boxes, and they never charged me for those orders, which I thought was weird. But then I realized sometimes airlines treat you when there's a delay like that. It's not a guarantee. US Airlines aren't required to give you anything if you're stuck at the airport. But behind the scenes, crews often have the power to comp things. We got lucky because we didn't even ask. And the crew was so nice to just comp us. In the future, you should just ask. And I think in general, they'll be accommodating because in this case, it was pretty rough. It's in the airline's best interest to spread the goodwill. So that was our spring break. Glad we did it, but also need to get back to saving my money. All right. Here's what's catching my eye in the news. Yahoo Finance is reporting that more retirees are seeking to settle down in, wait for it, New York City. Because it checks off a lot of boxes. It's a sociable city, it's walkable, and this is really important and increasingly becoming important. It's climate change resistant for now. Okay. As someone who lived in New York City, I will tell you that it's not entirely climate change resistant. We've had plenty of hurricanes and floods, but if you live in a high rise building, you're shielded from that, Right? Also topping the list, Durham, North Carolina, Ann Arbor, Michigan, followed by Boston, Seattle, Washington, D.C. the survey was done by Human Change and Motif's Geography of Prosperity Index. They say more retirees are swapping senior scenic views for city living. Fascinating. I've always contemplated after living in the suburbs until my kids go to college and maybe boomerang a little bit and come back and live with. Because this is the reality. I'm prepared for my kids to go to college and then maybe live with us again for a little bit to save some money while they're working, because that's what's happening right now. That then we would move and downsize and maybe I'll. I downsize. I put in air quotes because then my thought is that we could move back to the city because I love the city, I'm a city girl. I want to move back to Brooklyn or Manhattan and experience the city in a way that I never quite got to finally, as somebody that has savings and doesn't have little kids anymore. So this study, while it surprised me, it also really encouraged me. And I never really thought about New York as like a climate resistance resistant, but it's true. And although there is this concern that my husband and I always had about New York City, which was that it's an island, right? And if there's some big earthquake, it could overflood and just go underwater entirely. The tides are rising in New York around New York City. So that is something that we think about. And I know that is a risk, but we got a ways to go. Also in the news, in the New York Times, students are looking for college scholarships. On social media sites, they're trusting their friends, advice more than financial advisors. That's according to a new survey. And that gets a little tricky, right? Because there are a lot of scams out there. Money deals on TikTok and Instagram, I don't have to tell you, usually scams, but I get it. These kids are desperate to get their way into college. I was on that on my flight home from Los Angeles. There was a family next to me, a mom and her son, and they were visiting colleges in la. This senior in high school who lives in Jersey, he had gotten into UCLA and usc. The mom had four kids. And she and I were talking about just how impossible, right, these price tags are on these colleges and how they didn't get a lot of money from the state universities in California. Usc, she said, which is a private college, actually did give them some money and that he was probably going to go there. But the son was also talking to me and I was telling him, hey, you should check out Ron Lieber's book. He was just on the podcast talking about merit scholarships and he was taking notes furiously and poor kid. And I felt for him. I get it. These kids are trying their best to get into school, but we have to protect them, right? To make sure that they don't fall into these traps and that they don't inadvertently harm themselves even more. Getting into, like financial scams, trying to get into college. Some sites where you can find scholarships directly. Scholarships360scholarships.com fast web. Also your local bank, Rotary clubs, community foundations, your high school, your college financial aid office, employers, local businesses. These are all legit places to find and apply for scholarships. Okay, we're gonna get to the mailbag in just a few moments. But first, in case you miss any of our episodes this week on Monday, we talked about the science of attraction and why dating is still financially complicated. Our guest, Amy Chan, is a New York Times bestselling author. Her latest book is called Unsingle how to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts. And we dove into modern dating, how it's complicated. What happens when you're financially independent, maybe even out ear your partner and the old rules no longer apply. Why are some women opting out of
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the dating world and the relationship world altogether?
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And they're like, I'm good.
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I'm good on my own.
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And while meanwhile, others are leaning into this rising trad wife traditional wife movement as an antidote to burnout and girl boss culture. Really interesting conversation with Amy Chan. And then on a totally different topic, Wednesday, how to start an art collection on a budget with one of my favorite art experts, Liz Legette. She's an art gallery owner in the Midwest and she has helped me find and discover so many wonderful pieces of art for our home. She has a new book out called Art for Everyone. It's a practical and an empowering guide to finding Your style, buying art with confidence and creating a home that really reflects you. You know, art has become really accessible these days. It used to be this thing that we felt was like just for the wealthy or just for people who had access to it, and now it's highly accessible. You can find wonderful pieces of art of all shapes and sizes, of all price ranges online. And Liz talks about how to think about art not so much as an investment, but as something that really is meaningful to you. We also talk about the rise of artists as entrepreneurs and even how AI is reshaping what we value in handmade work. Really important conversation. That's episode 1970 on April 15th on Wednesday. All right, mailbag time. Everybody wants to know. Farnoosh, should I buy gold? Because the price has gone up again, rising close to record levels as headlines swirl around this potential ceasefire between the US and Iran, even as tensions remain high and shipping through the Strait of Hormuz is still severely disrupted. And that's how gold behaves. It reacts to uncertainty, to geopolitical stress, to fears about inflation and global stability. One headline about peace talks, prices move. Another about conflict or supply disruption. Price of gold moves again. And so it's not a steady price point. And that's why I say gold is not a growth strategy. It doesn't pay you anything. There are no dividends with gold. There's no interest, there's no compounding. That's working quietly in the background. The only way you make money is if someone else is willing to pay more for this later. And that's often driven by fear or instability in the world. Now, you compare that to something like a diversified index fund where over time you're participating in the growth of companies, innovation, productivity. That is how real wealth over time is built. Now, to be fair, gold does have a role. And what we're seeing in the headlines today is exactly when gold tends to shine. It's these periods of geopolitical tension, inflation concerns, market volatility. And right now, it's acting as a hedge, which means it's a form of financial insurance. And it can diversify your portfolio because it doesn't always move in sync, right, with stocks and bonds, although the stock market's been doing really well, it's very confusing. But just like insurance, it's not where you put the bulk of your money. So if you're interested in buying gold, I want you to first check your investment foundation and your financial foundation. Do you have a savings emergency fund? Are you consistently investing in low cost, diversified investment funds? Are you Maxing out your retirement accounts Wherever possible, your 401k, your IRAs. If not, then gold is not where your focus should be. It can feel safe right now because again, it's a hedge, even smart in moments like this when it's in the news and prices are rising. But it's not going to do the heavy lifting for your goal to build wealth. If you've got all of those things in place, the savings, the low cost index funds, the maxing out of your retirement accounts and you still want exposure, then sure, gold can have a seat at the table, but a small one, right? It's an alternative investment. I would say no more than 5 to max 10% of your portfolio. It's not an all in bet, it's a buffer. And I would keep it simple. Something like a there's ETFs, right? There's a low cost ETF for gold that you can buy. You're not going to Costco and buying the gold bars unless you want to just for the fun of it. At the end of the day, I want you to be really clear about the role of gold in your overall investment portfolio. The headlines right now are a great reminder that gold moves on uncertainty and uncertain times are not always times, right? There are sometimes. Gold does not move on long term productivity or on growth. So build your wealth with investments that compound over time. And if owning a little bit of gold helps you feel more secure when the world feels shaky, that's fine. Just don't mistake that feeling for a strategy. This episode is sponsored by Study.com Let me ask you something. Have you ever looked at your college degree or your kid's future college bill
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Farnoosh Torabi
Okay, moving on to travel. Should I book my air travel right now? I'm getting this question from friends on the soccer field last weekend. A friend asked me this because it's getting close to that time where we're thinking about school is going to be out soon. I want to make my travel arrangements. My advice is if you know that you have to be somewhere this summer or you definitely want to go somewhere this summer, you want to book sooner rather than later. What we're seeing right now, right now, rising airfares. We're seeing even higher baggage fees. This just got announced from airlines like Delta, Southwest, United, JetBlue. Add to that the higher fuel surcharges from carriers like Air Canada. You know this isn't random, right? It's a ripple effect of higher fuel costs, global instability, tensions impacting oil supply routes like the Strait of Hormuz. Airlines are operating on very thin margins right now. So when fuel prices spike, these costs get passed directly to us. And, and kayak data actually shows that prices are already moving up in a pretty meaningful way in a short period of time. So if your travel plans are fairly set, you know the dates, you know the destination, you're like 80% sure you're going, then waiting is essentially a gamble. At this point, prices are probably not going to drop. And right now the trend line is not working in your favor. I wouldn't rush in blindly though. You can still be strategic. You can book now, but you can look for fares that allow for free changes or cancellations. Many airlines still offer this on standard economy tickets. Also, avoid overpaying for extras up front. Baggage fees are rising. So when we went to la, we went only with carry ons and I have actually like an extra large carry on from the away travel line and it fits in the overhead compartment. I was able to bring it on. It's a little bit bigger than the standard and just like eyeshot, it doesn't look that much bigger. And I think the flight attendants couldn't tell. And it does fit in the overhead compartments, but it fits so much more actually. So just, just pro tip, go with the a little bit bigger overhead bag. And I fit everything for my five days of travel in that overhead. I also had a carry on bag, a giant carry on bag that I bought from Amazon that slides on top of My roll on carry on bag. I will link these in the show notes so you can see what I travel with. And I'm telling you, I packed so much again for my kids, for me in these two things and avoided baggage fees. And then another thing you can do is keep an eye on the airfare. Some airlines will let you rebook and take a credit if the price drops. Some other pro tips fly on the shoulder days. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Saturdays are your best bet for lower fares. Even shifting your trip by 24 hours can save you a lot of money, especially in a high demand summer season. The nearby airports can sometimes save you a lot of time and money. So we fly out of Newark, which is convenient for us because we live closest to Newark. And it also ends up being sometimes the cheapest because. And the quietest because it's not the New York City airports. But if you live in New York City, going to Newark is sometimes your best bet. Using a 24 hour rule to your advantage, most airlines allow you free cancellation within 24 hours of booking. So sometimes you find a flight, you book it, but then you keep looking over the next 24 hours to see if anything else is cheaper just so that you don't lose that potentially good flight that you found. Sites like Kayak and Google flights can also track prices and notify you of drops. So this can take some of the guesswork and the obsession out of it. And then finally, check your credit card perks before you book. You may already have benefits like free checked bags, travel credits. I know with my credit card I can designate an airline every year on the card. And with that airline, I can get up to $200 back whatever I spend, like food or baggage fees, other sort of fees that I might accumulate, other sort of costs that I might accumulate. Using that airline, I get reimbursed. So that's nice. Check your credit card. This is low hanging fruit that most people forget. Okay. Did you know that April is Financial literacy month? And so last week I spoke at an event called Financially Fierce at Luminary, which is this wonderful workspace in New York City. And a woman in the audience raised her hand and wanted to know about how to best recover after emerging from a lot of debt. So maybe your credit's taken a beating. What are the ways that you can start to heal your credit? I thought this was a great question and a very timely one because we know that credit burden is huge right now, whether we're talking credit card, credit cards, student loans. I thought this was a great question. One to bring back to the show. And so what I offered this woman in the audience was first, just be really proud of yourself for what you just accomplished. No small feat, right? Take a moment to really celebrate this milestone, then take it slow. Don't be afraid to use credit again, but do it in baby steps. I would assign a few recurring bills, like a cell phone bill, a utility bill that you have to pay every month to a credit card and resolve that monthly bill with a checking account. It uses that credit card responsibly on time, in full every month. So you're getting credit for that responsible usage, that usage gets reported to the credit bureaus, and then you're slowly rebuilding credit in a positive way. I could also sense from this person, and I think this is universal, that there was some fear of falling back into old habits, of relying on credit and maybe even making impulsive spend expenditures with the credit cards. So I said for a while, when you're out in the world or even online, if you've got credit cards hooked up to websites, unhook those credit cards. Don't put the credit cards in your wallet when you go out. Instead, keep it to cash and debit for a while so that you really limit yourself and you remember what it's like to just use cash and you retrain yourself to stick to that budget when you're out socializing. Because that's when we trip up, right? It's not so much when we're paying our bills that we overspend. It's when we are cut out in the world and life takes over. And then finally I suggested really automating her savings, unapologetically having a cushion. Because the risk here is that if there is a surprise, life happens expense, right? Your car breaks down or you have an out of pocket medical expense, you weren't expecting a high prescription drug that's out of pocket now, you weren't expecting this would go on the credit card if you don't have a savings cushion. So to the extent that you can quickly just gather up like $1,000, $1,500, park it somewhere, have that as your safety net, but really get into a habit of taking 10%, 15% of your paycheck every month and putting it in a high yield savings account until you have about six months of savings, six months of your living expenses saved, I should say. And that way you won't ever have to worry about using your credit cards in an emergency. You will have the savings. And for anyone else who wants motivation to get out of debt. They're not where this person is where they're debt free. They're in it. I think my words to the audience were the following. You must get into beast mode. Beast mode, everybody. Like, you have to be. You have to be savage about it. Like, it has to be your top priority. Get hyper focused on it. Relentless. You know, it can't just be like, I wish I was out of debt, or I'd like to someday be out of debt. No, I'm going to be out of debt in six months. Here's the plan. Here are the things I'm going to cut out here. Like, I'm just. This is it. I'm sick and tired of this. Like, I want my life back and I deserve it. I'm going to earn it. And that's it. Farnish told me I can't live like this anymore. It gotta laugh. But I'm serious. All right, before we go, I wanna answer a question that you didn't ask me about, but I wanna tell you what I'm reading. What am I reading? I am reading everybody. I'm in the midst of it. I'm actually halfway through. I can't wait. I can't wait to get to the end of it. It's called Strangers by Bell Burden. And I know I'm not alone in reading this. I'm like the 20 millionth person who's reading this book. If you go Amazon, this book has been out, I think, what, a month? I think it has over 11,000, close to 11,000 reviews. As an author, just to put that in perspective, to get even a hundred reviews, it is painstaking. Really, really popular books. To get a hundred reviews in a month is a lot of work. This person, this author, this brand new author, brand new book, 10,000 plus reviews in a short period of time. Just to tell you how popular this book is, it is a memoir and it is one of those memoirs that just haunts you, it lingers with you and oh my gosh, I mean, it's been all over the place. Oprah interviewed Bell Burden. She's now that I'm talking about her on the show and my phone is sitting right here. I'm going to get so much more content about her on my Instagram. It's the most talked about memoir right now. And it's the story of Bell Burden's 21 Year Marriage Unraveling very abruptly, very painfully in the midst of the pandemic in 2020. All when her husband announces that he is having an affair and he's Leaving her. But what makes this book so compelling is not just the betrayal. I mean, that is so cliche in my mind. It's what the unraveling reveals. Because underneath the marriage story is something a lot deeper and honestly, really relevant to a lot of us. You know, it's what happens when you slowly, almost unconsciously, give up your financial autonomy in a relationship. And here's the twist. The part that really gets me is that Bell, the writer, she doesn't enter this marriage from a place of financial dependence. Quite the opposite. She comes from significant generational wealth. I'm talking, like, Vanderbilt. She was the financially stronger partner at the start. And yet over time, she handed over control of the money, the decisions, the oversight to her husband. Not out of negligence, but she calls it trust, partnership. She even said it was, like, romantic. She said it was, like, the easy thing to do. The marriage falls apart, and she's not dealing with just the emotional betrayal, but also this kind of financial disorientation. The person who managed everything is gone. And suddenly the cost of that earlier decision to step back and to defer and to not stay actively engaged comes into real shock. Sharp focus. And for me, I'm still reading it. But as someone who talks about all of this for a living, I was really hesitant to even read this book because before I read it, I was like, what's going to happen? Am I going to read the first few pages and throw it across the room in disgust and also in, like, I told you so manner? Or am I going to finish it in one day and in a gulp and can't believe what I just read? And people were like, I think it's going to be both, because the writing is actually fantastic. She's a fantastic writer, and she always wanted to be a writer. But it just goes back to what we all know at the core, right? That you need to have your own financial independence, right? You need to participate around money in your relationship. You got to be connected to the money story, no matter how much you trust your partner or how solid your relationship feels. The book, what I like about it, it doesn't preach. It's very subtle, and it's not a how to, which I think is what we need because it's fascinating. It's like, there. Think of how many books there are out there that tell women to not be Bell burden in this way. Don't be this woman who defers everything to her husband financially, because this is what would happen, right? Instead, it takes this, like, kind of soft, subtle, and also, gosh, to read about the glamour of her life, right? Like growing up in New York, the wealth, getting drawn into that, the story of that. It really keeps you reading. I think in some ways it's the perfect book to deliver this message to the many women who still need to hear it. Anyway, we're going to do a whole episode on this soon. Once I finish the book. There's so much more to unpack about marriage and power and trust and money. But for now, just know if you've ever thought that my partner handles that and that being money, I can't say it will end in a disaster, but I will say that you deserve better. And that's our show, everybody. I'll see you back here on Monday when our guest is going to be Caroline Palmer, who used to work at Vogue and has written a fantastic fiction, although based in real life book called Workhorse. She's one of my neighbors here in Montclair. It's her debut novel and it's about ambition and class and envy in the early 2000s New York fashion magazine world. Ooh, this is when I was coming up in editorial. Although I didn't work in fashion, I worked and worked in personal finance. I was on the nerd side of things, but I lived vicariously through all the women in the Time Inc. Building who worked at InStyle and People and Essence and oh my gosh, in the lunchroom in the cafeteria, I would go back to writing about mutual funds and they go back to writing about lipstick and Runway fashion shows. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. I hope your weekend is so money.
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- [38:20]
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