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Lindsay Stanberry
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Lindsay Stanberry
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Lindsay Stanberry
so Money Episode
1994 what does child care actually cost?
Farnoosh Torabi
You're listening to so Money with award winning money guru Farnoosh Torabi. Each day get a 30 minute dose of financial inspiration from the world's top business minds, authors, influencers and from Farnoosh yourself for ways to save on gas or double your double coupons. Sorry, you're in the wrong place seeking profound ways to live a richer, happier life. Welcome to so Money.
Lindsay Stanberry
There's nothing wrong with stepping out of the workforce. No, I'm just saying that don't allow this back of the napkin math that is genderist to force you out of the workforce.
That's how. That's. I think that that's the thing is to consider it as a family expense. The big picture.
Hey, so money, family, something special in your feed Today, my friend Lindsay Stanberry
is taking over with an episode of
Family Money, which is her new podcast series with Babylist.
Through her company called the Purse, Lindsay has been covering women, work and money
for over a decade.
And what she's building here is exactly
the kind of honest and practical conversation that families need and almost nobody is having.
Well, and yes, I'm in this one.
The episode is called what Does Child Care actually Cost? And it does exactly what it says.
Lindsay talks with economist Corrine Lowe, who's been on this show, and she's an
associate professor at the Wharton School and
author of the USA Today bestseller Having It All. Who reframes childcare not as a money pit, but as an investment in your
time, your career, and your family's future? And then I come on to walk through the real numbers. I'm talking daycare centers, nanny shares, au
pairs in home care, the grandparent option.
Nobody talks about enough.
And what each one actually costs and
how to figure out what's right for your family. We also get into something that drives
me nuts, and that is this idea that childcare costs come out of the mother's salary.
Well, they don't. They come out of your family's future. And once you see it that way,
I think everything changes. If you're expecting, if you're deep in
the daycare years or you're just trying to get ahead of it, this episode is for you.
And give family money and the purse a follow. Wherever you listen and read, Lindsay is doing incredible work.
The cost of childcare is insane.
It's crazy.
Corinne Lowe
The cost of daycare has skyrocketed.
Lindsay Stanberry
It's as much as a mortgage in most states. And you're like, is my child getting a PhD?
Don't allow this back of the napkin math to force you out of the workforce. You know, you can be smart about it, you can be strategic about it. You can change the plan.
It's really important when you decide to have a kid to start doing research and understanding how all the different options work. And how do you choose what's best for your family? That's what we're talking about today. First up, we're talking to Corinne Lowe. Corinne is an economist at the Wharton School of Business. She wrote this great book, Having it all, where she reframes the cost of childcare and what it really means to spend all this money. You're not just throwing away money. It's an investment in your time, in your career, in your family. And when you begin to look at it that way, you feel better about it. It can be so empowering to shift narrative from it being a cost burden on the mom to being a family expense that everyone benefits from. I'm Lindsey Stanberry, and this is Family Money. I've been interviewing people about their money stories for more than a decade, and I've been a mom for just about as long. Needless to say, I have lots of thoughts on kids and money. You really talk about how women tend to feel uncomfortable talking about money. Why do you think that is? It's scary, right? I hear from people who want to have kids all the time. How do you actually afford to have a kid? But that's why we're here. That's what we're doing with family money. We're offering you advice and tips and tricks, and you're going to hear from amazing experts to help put you at ease. Welcome to Family Money. I'd love to talk with you about the cost of childcare, which is really overwhelming. Why are we seeing childcare costs increase so much?
Corinne Lowe
There's a lot of forces right now that are driving that. I mean, one is just inflation in general. One is the shortages that we had coming out of the pandemic. And then there were some subsidies in the pandemic that are now exposed and so really have been putting the squeeze on parents. But there was actually a longer term trend at play, which is that the cost of childcare has long been outpacing inflation. And the reason for that is that it's not an apples to apples comparison in terms of what you're getting is that the quality of childcare and the standards for quality childcare have actually increased a lot over time. So if you go back to the 1980s, it was perfectly acceptable to have 20, 30 kids, babies in their little cribs and you hand them bottles assembly line style. It was perfectly acceptable to have the toddlers in front of the TV at the daycare center.
Lindsay Stanberry
That was my upbringing, was sitting in front of Mrs. Weddle's TV watching Sesame street and.
Corinne Lowe
Exactly. That's a lot cheaper because it's much less hands on. Right. Whereas if you think about the childcare that, like, we want for our children Right now, but in fact is actually the regulatory standard in many states. Right. It's that four to one infant to caregiver ratio. It's the hands on care. It's not having screens.
Lindsay Stanberry
Right.
Corinne Lowe
It's you know, active outdoor time. And that's more expensive to provide. So the product itself change. But the problem is that doesn't create a lot of options for parents who maybe don't earn enough to cover that enormous cost.
Lindsay Stanberry
One thing that I think is really interesting is this idea of childcare deserts, especially in rural communities where there just isn't that infrastructure. How does that impact pricing and what parents are doing those childcare deserts, you
Corinne Lowe
know, it's those parents that then are being left without options. Some of those families are saying like, well, we don't really have a good option, an option we feel comfortable with.
Lindsay Stanberry
Right.
Corinne Lowe
So does it make sense for mom just to stay home? And then the other force is like the fall in intergenerational households and the generations spreading out. Where we go from having grandparents as people who are nearby and providing care to often they're far away, but now generations spread out. Grandparents need care, right. Rather than providing the input of care.
Lindsay Stanberry
It's interesting. My grandparents live far away when I was growing up, but my parents live here now and are very active.
Corinne Lowe
Oh, you are so blessed. I know.
Lindsay Stanberry
I am so lucky. And I often think it's my mom. It's like she's responding to the struggle that she had. She saw how hard it was for her. Why we were always at Mrs. Weddle's house. I'm curious, you know, one kid expensive, two kids very expensive.
Corinne Lowe
When you're adding additional kids, you have to think about what costs are going to scale and what costs aren't going to scale. And then you also have to think about like timing and child spacing with your budget. Right. Because if you live someplace that has universal pre K, right. Then you've just got three years that you've got to get through. So do you actually want to have that three year child spacing so you're getting one set of daycare fees off your budget before another one comes in? Or do you want to consider a form of childcare that might be too expensive when you have just one kid, but that doesn't, the cost doesn't scale when you add a second kid. And so I think you have to start thinking about potentially different solutions when you're thinking about multiple kids instead of just one. Or you really think about the timing so that you're able to not have Both of those hitting at the same time. But even if you do hit that crunch where you have one year, where you have two daycare fees at the same time, and then you say, well, this is more than my salary, should I even be working? That is the wrong math. Okay. Because that is one year. And if you step outside the labor force. Right. The loss of the investment in your human capital is going to add up to way more than just your salary in that single year. Right?
Lindsay Stanberry
Yeah.
Corinne Lowe
So I think we have to understand the same way, like when a kid goes to college and if you have two kids who are in college at the same time, you're like, this is impossible, but it's time bound. Right. So if you happen to have daycare that you have to pay for two kids, you know, in a single year, what can you do to pull resources into that period?
Lindsay Stanberry
Right.
Corinne Lowe
So you hold off on upgrading the car. But I think the key thing is thinking about your financial planning over a longer time horizon. And so I am not in favor of like high interest consumer debt. I'm going to be the scoldy economist is going to say, you know, like we like no credit card debt. Like that is. And also you have to be maxing out your 401k match because that's free money. But once you're doing that, once you don't have the credit card debt and once you're maxing out your 401k match. Now when you're in this period that I call the squeeze, where your kids are young and they're expensive in both time and money, it's okay to do other things that aren't how you want to live long term to get through this period.
Lindsay Stanberry
Right.
Corinne Lowe
So if you don't save a single cent other than your 401k match, when you have kids who are daycare aged, I'm fine with that. I'm not going to scold you about that. Right. If you, you know, finance, but at low interest rates, some things that you typically wouldn't want to finance, some larger purchases like home improvements, again, I'm fine with that. Right?
Lindsay Stanberry
Yeah.
Corinne Lowe
Because this period passes. But you've gotta make sure to get back on that financial wagon when your kid, your youngest kid, goes to pre K or kindergarten. Whenever you stop paying for childcare, I want you to put that date on your calendar and that's the start saving and start investing again date. Okay. So you have a date with yourself to get your house back in order. Because the issue is it often becomes like a slippery slope where you're like, okay, we took debt to do this, and now we're just going to kind of keep doing that. So it is a limited period of time, but you've got to hold it to that limited period.
Lindsay Stanberry
You do such a good job of talking about this, about childcare being an investment in your future self. And. And then a lot of other things that I think parents need, which is like home help and even small things like grocery delivery, that those kinds of investments and reframing it is not a waste of money, but like something that really is helpful.
Corinne Lowe
I think you said it exactly right. It's like it is an investment in your human capital because time that you're able to spend on your career that's building what economists call your permanent income, which is that we think about everything you're able to earn over your entire lifetime, not just in this moment. And so I tell people to reframe outsourcing a little bit. As if you're not outsourcing something, you are hiring yourself to do it and asking if in this moment, does it make sense to hire yourself for that job? And if you're at an inflection point in your career, you should not be hiring yourself for extra jobs.
Lindsay Stanberry
Around the house.
Order the groceries.
Corinne Lowe
Yes. And I also point out to people that families take their car to the mechanic to get the oil change, because we don't think twice. We don't blank when it's a male coded task that we need to outsource, but when it's a female coded task, then comes the guilt and the feeling that we should just be able to do it ourselves.
Lindsay Stanberry
Yeah. That's amazing. I think that's a great place to stop. Corinne, it's been so lovely. It's so much fun to chat with you about all these things, and I cannot recommend your book enough. It's so fantastic. Thank you so much. Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. Corinne did a really wonderful job giving us a. A big picture overview of just how expensive childcare is and how we need to reframe it as an investment. But you have to pay for it, right? You have to choose it. So I invited my friend Farnoosh Tarabi, who's a financial expert, to really walk us through all the different kinds of childcare available, what it costs, and how to decide what's available to you and what you want to spend your money on. And we're back. Hi, Farnoosh. So happy to have you here today.
Hi, Lindsay. It's so Great to be here.
Can we kind of walk through the different kinds of childcare options?
Sure. So daycare centers are very popular option. A lot of families opt into this. So depending on where you live, it can be anywhere from $1,500 to $2,500 a month. From there it could be an at home daycare center where there might be more flexibility. It's anywhere from 10 to 30% more affordable. But in some cases those facilities may not be as certified. Maybe it's like a trusted neighbor, a family member perhaps who's running a business. And then there are options like and grandparents. That's at maybe the free level. Between the daycare center and the free level. There's also nannies and at home caregivers. Right. That's actually the premium.
Right, that's the premium.
That's the premium.
You get a nanny, but then there's nanny shares.
Absolutely.
Which introduces a whole set of different challenges and financial opportunities.
Absolutely. I've heard of this in cities. You know, it's for people who have vertical living, very convenient people on your floor or in your building to share an at home caregiver. It's not all, but you know, it's always trade offs. It's all these trade offs. But the cost of an at home caregiver can be anywhere from 20 to $35 an hour per child. Of course, you also have to consider things like overtime.
Right. When you have a nanny, it's like you're hiring an employee.
Right. There's another option which is aupair, which sounds very fancy. When I was growing up, it's sort of like I thought it was reserved just for the elite and the rich people. But you know, I have several friends who choose this option. And what it is essentially is hiring through an agenc, a young adult, someone who's usually 18 to 25 years old. They live overseas. They're looking for an American cultural experience.
Right.
They come and live with you for usually up to two years. Or like as a mother's helper, a family helper.
Yeah.
They make about $200 a week stipend. The catch is, of course, you have to have a comfortable place for them to stay in your home, a dedicated space.
Right.
You're providing lodgings and food. Sometimes you need to give them access to your car.
Corinne Lowe
Right.
Lindsay Stanberry
To be able to take your kids around. And they work strict like what, 35, 40 hours a week. Right. You have to give them the time off to do other things.
They're not on call all the time for You.
Exactly. So that works for some families, it doesn't for others. So there's a spectrum of options, a spectrum of affordable options. And then of course, there's parents who give up their careers and their jobs temporarily or forever to be home with their families.
So, I mean, it feels like every option sort of has its pros and cons, its costs, you know, the good and the bad. With a nanny with an au pair, you're inviting them into your home, the daycare center. I remember dropping my son off when he was a baby. We used a really lovely in home daycare center. But that first day was just, I think, one of the worst days of my life, life being away. And it felt like he was with strangers and he was so tiny. But in the end, the last day, when it was his last day in the daycare center, and I cried. I was losing, like a best friend because we had grown so close to them. So choosing that is like a really big deal.
Yeah. And I would say other things to consider when you're choosing, let's say a daycare center is to ask them about turnover rate.
That's a good one.
You know, how often are families coming and going? How flexible are you? What happens if my kid gets sick? What happens if I'm running late from work? What if I need to do an early drop off? Because for families we know, like, flexibility, time is everything. Sometimes in those.
In that first year, it really is. And the time money question pops up all the time. When you become a parent who works outside the home.
Exactly.
Even a parent who inside the home.
For sure.
It's a lot. It's a lot. Let's talk a little bit about nannies and. Because it's complicated, Right. It's not about, like, Venmo Ing them at the end of the week. There's often rules and laws around how you pay them and if you're paying them, Social Security and benefits. And I've followed so many chains where the nanny gets sick and needs surgery and then you're paying for a nanny and a backup nanny because they need healthcare benefits. So I'm just curious, like, what are all the different things that people should consider?
Right. You're an employer, essentially, and this person is working in your home.
Yes.
And this person is taking care of your most precious person, most important. Right. And so let's think about that. Let's sort of like sit with that.
Okay.
I think that's really important for families to sort of lead with that in mind and set up an infrastructure that supports that for everybody. And with that, I think it's really important to set up a financial system that supports the household and the employee, the nanny. So we use an online payroll service. There are many of them. In the long run, the cost is not big, you know, for what they provide, it's automatic W2 statements at the end of the year, which allows the nanny to file their taxes quite simply. And for you also to have that documentation for your tax visit, they also will deduct out of that their Medicare and their Social Security and all the appropriate taxes. So do you want to do that?
No, I do not.
Be my guest. I don't want to do that stuff. So the payroll services takes care of that. The cost again is nominal compared to the time that it saves you the stress. And ultimately it's work. Right. That you don't have to do. I would also say that the cost that you want to consider as well, the ancillary cost, right. It's not just the hourly wage. There's also overtime. You're paying for their vacation, their pto. And you want to have a backup plan, right. In the event that they do need to have a surgery or they want to take an extra vacation or life happens.
It does.
And I remember one year our caregiver, she won an award and it was going to be overseas.
Oh my goodness.
And she already used up her pto. Like, am I going to get in the way of her going overseas? No, of course not. Right. And again, this goes back to this person becomes sort of part of your family. I think not all households view it that way and I think I wish they would.
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Lindsay Stanberry
because the more you. You do, I think, the better the relationship runs for everybody.
Yeah, definitely.
That's my pov.
Yeah, that's. I. That makes sense. So we were talking a little bit about taxes. There's fsa, Dependent Care, which sort of takes a little bit of the edge off.
So essentially, these are provided through your employer. It's an account where annually you can take about $5,000 pre tax. It's deducted from your taxable income. You throw it into this account and you can use it for childcare expenses. It's kind of a use it or lose it. In some cases it is. You kind of have to read your guidelines with your employer. And to your point, it kind of takes a little bit of the burden off.
Yeah. It's not a cure all.
Not a cure all. But hey, if it's offered, I would change just sort of ahead of time. Be aware of what your costs are.
Yeah.
You know, don't max it out if you don't have to, because then you might lose that money.
Yeah. We used it to pay for summer camps.
Yeah. Summer camps count, obviously. Daycare, all sorts of care.
Yes. What financial mistakes have you seen people make when setting up childcare?
Well, I think it is not. First having a conversation with your partner.
Yeah.
About how can we as a household optimize our time and our schedules so that we can then go and figure out what puzzle pieces we need to outsource and pay for via childcare.
Corinne Lowe
Right.
Lindsay Stanberry
Instead of what a lot of couples do, which is like, I'm working these hours before the baby comes, and you're working these hours before the baby comes. Heretofore.
Yeah.
We need to find all this childcare. And look, that may still be the case once your child arrives, but we don't even stop to think that maybe our employer is willing to be more flexible with us once our family grows and we can say, hey, can we have more work from home time? Could we adjust our daytime hours? Could I go to work later in the morning and come home? You know, so my husband and I, for example, when we first had our son, we hired a nanny and she was working eight hours a day, which actually isn't a lot.
It's not.
It turns out I thought that was. I was like eight hours a week. That's fantastic. And turns out you work more than eight hours a day. So eight to four was the schedule. And I didn't really get my day going until 10 and I would sort of be working until 6 and then my husband would leave around 9 and get home around 5 and my nanny was out the door by 4. So I was left with a baby at 4 o', clock, but still had maybe phone calls and you know, all sorts of things. So about three months into that I had a conversation with my husband. I was like, look, is there a way where you could come home at four and the nanny leaves at four so you and I can kind of strategize at that time to figure out who is going to caregive? Maybe it is me, maybe it is you, but it's always me every day right now. And it's kind of taking from my ability to finish work. And then I'm silly to think that at 8 o' clock when we put him down that I can go back to work. So he went to his job and asked, hey, could I come into work even earlier and leave earlier? And they said sure. So that allowed us to not have to get extra childcare, rather just adjust his hours so that we could be home together and sort of tag team with the baby.
Yeah, the tag teaming and the communication is so key as well.
It's so key.
Can we talk about one of my big money pet peeves? This idea that it's the mother's income that covers the childcare.
Oh my God. I like to think of it as the household income.
Me too.
It's unfair. It's essentially saying that the entirety of child rearing and child caring is a mother's responsibility.
Right.
Whenever I would have this conversation with women, it was interesting. I would talk to women out at school events, school functions, or out and about women who were no longer working and they would say, you know, I did the math and my salary wasn't. It was barely covering childcare or it was a little bit more. It would almost always be followed up with the following. I didn't really like my job anyway.
Yes.
So it made me wonder, hmm, maybe we should start pursuing careers that we really, really like. Also, we sometime start to opt out. Once we start to even think about having a family. We think, oh well, having a family and having a professional life, it's really difficult to have those two. Sort of psychologically, we start to undermine our ability in the workplace. We don't go for the promotion, we don't job hop, we don't ask for the raise. Cause we're like, we just defer to this idea of like, well, eventually I'll probably just have to be the full time caregiver. Because what I'm making now will probably stay the same and I'll probably end up just having to quit.
That's an interesting way to think about it. I've heard it from women and I've heard it from men. You know, my wife's doesn't make enough money and I'm like, do you make enough money to afford the home that you live in? Like, I just think there's other expenses that are considered because child care supports everybody. Everybody.
Childcare. Childcare is an investment.
Yes.
I mean, I'll go even so far to say that it is an investment like your student loans are an investment. We are willing to go into six figures worth of debt for a bachelor's degree for a job that we're not even going to get, but we are not willing to hire someone or go and drop our child off at a daycare facility.
Right.
So that we can continue working, so we can someday collect Social Security so that we can contribute to a 401k so that we can continue, you know, earning our place in the workforce, earning a paycheck, continuing our trajectory. And I mean, I mean if that's what you want to do, I'm not saying you have to. There's nothing wrong with stepping out of the workforce.
No.
I'm just saying that don't allow this back of the napkin math that is genderist to force you out of the workforce.
That's how I think that, that's the thing is to consider it as a family expense. The big picture.
Contentful Advertiser
Right.
Lindsay Stanberry
Doesn't all have to be shouldered on one person.
Yeah.
How should people think about the trade off? You know, you were talking a little bit about, you know, the nanny, this like cost versus flex, it being an investment, you know, the more flexible is arguably the more expensive.
Right. Look, I mean it's easy to say that investing in your flexibility is a, is a payoff. And you know, investing is good, but money costs.
Yeah.
You know, and I don't want to sit here and say just always invest if it's going to afford you flexibility. And because flexibility is a good thing and time is important, everybody has a cloak. So do what you can and prioritize what's important. Maybe start with baby steps. I think there's, it's always nice to have a goal. Maybe like maybe the first six months we're going to start out with this sort of an arrangement for childcare. But our goal is to eventually hire someone full time to come into the home. Because eventually I want to go back into the workforce full time. And that is what is going to satisfy and support that. And that's what I want families to really remember is, is that we make a plan and we can change the plan. We don't have to create this forever plan for childcare. It's malleable.
I think that's so important about childcare is that it's always changing. You're always sort of reinventing the wheel on it. And that's a good thing.
It's a good thing. And your time is valuable, but also your time with your kid is valuable too. This rush back to the workforce, I know some of us do have that pull. And if that's your calling, go for. It's a very individual thing.
It is. It's so great to see more and more companies offering paternity leave. I have so many friends who have sort of split that time where the mom will stay home at first for three to four months and then the husband will step in and have his opportunity. And, you know, that creates a bond with them and saves money on childcare and I think just makes a good system for people.
Yeah. My husband. This is. Now we're going back 10 years. So I know things have, in the more recent years have accelerated in that depression apartment, but even 10 years ago, we assumed there was no paternity leave at a startup, no less.
Right.
And my husband went and just because, you know, ask, you never know. And they said, yeah, we have four weeks of paid leave for fathers.
Yeah.
And so he did stagger it. And we were so blown away by that. So if that's. What if that was the case back then, for a start. Startup.
Yeah.
Imagine what could be possible today for even, like a small company that's not at the seed level.
No. You know, no, no, it was the same. My husband had four weeks and took two weeks at the beginning and two weeks at the end. We were so excited.
Yeah. But I think take what you can get.
I feel so lucky for people who have, you know, three to six months. It's so nice.
Yeah. Take it, Take it.
Do you see areas where people can save money on this? I feel like people always get a little funny about, like, saving money on childcare. Is it. Is it even possible?
Well, you mentioned earlier pairing up with another household.
Corinne Lowe
Yeah.
Lindsay Stanberry
Leaning on your community, leaning on the generosity of neighbors and friends, seeking the advice and counsel of other parents. I'm not gonna say that it's like something that you can do all the time, but for moments when you're in a bind. You have a job interview and you wanna go and do it or someone's sick in your family and you have to go help them and you have a gap in childcare. The idea that you have to go pay for a service or out of pocket for that. Maybe there is someone in your neighborhood, a neighbor, someone you can trust to come in and help and building those relationships before your kids are even born, if you're expecting. Really, really helpful. But even in those early months when you are home with your kid, baby, that's a great way to invest your time, is to get to know other early stage parents for these times especially to really help each other out in crisis moments. But I think in general, if you're comfortable pairing up with other families to share in that childcare expense can be so good. 50% less. What's better than that?
Yeah, I was always so reluctant to like share advice as if there wasn't enough, you know, like, you don't want to let somebody in on your secret affordable childcare or something like that. And as I've gotten to be an older parent, I'm like, no, no, let me, let me share. Let's swap.
Oh, drop that scarcity mindset.
It's good.
It's okay. I will say too, there is a movement of people to live in their hometowns or inviting an in law or a grandparent to come and stay with them in the early months. I mean, my friends just bought a home, they're younger and they haven't started, you know, growing their family yet, but they had in mind we want an additional bedroom for potentially like an in law in the event that we will need childcare. And this is a couple that almost didn't have a kid, didn't even think that it was possible because they did the math. Yeah, they did the spreadsheet and they're like, oh my gosh, gosh, childcare, Whoa. And they thought, well, you know, we have healthy parents who would love to spend time with their future grandkids maybe. And you know, it's, it's a bit of a consideration, but these are the trade offs that families are making right now.
My mom helped, did not live with us, but helped a lot. And I like to tease her that there's no such thing as free childcare. I definitely paid in other ways.
Here's the other thing. People should know it's temporary.
Yeah, it is.
Can we just say that like, I
mean, that's the big thing, right?
It's temporary investment.
Yes. It's just A short period of time.
And it does pay off in many cases, right? Yeah. It's short term, medium term, and long term payoff. Not to say like throw all the money at it.
No.
Be blind about it. But, you know, you can be smart about it, you can be strategic about it. You can change the plan. There are ways to save. But this idea that it's just too expensive and this is the reason I'm not gonna have a child, which is sort of also another. I've seen this kind of quick math. It's very fearful.
Yes.
There's a lot of fear around this. Understandably. It's a big number. But I hope you know we're trying to explain that there are many ways to slice and dice it.
There are definitely different ways. And I think it takes some digging and some better understanding of your finances. And as we were talking about earlier, like what you do as a dual income couple with no kids and what you do as a dual income couple with kids is dramatically different. Your budget just changes because you have a child now. Right.
I always say people often think having a child is like adding this additional expense to their existing budget and they go, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm paycheck to paycheck as it is, as opposed to what it really is, which is you're going to ground zero with your budget. You are rebuilding the budget with your child at the heart of it. And everything else is like dancing around this kid. So you know those date nights on
Monday through Friday, very fancy. Gym membership not as important.
I mean, I hope you'll get back to that.
Yeah.
And you do that occasionally.
Yes.
But your lifestyle will change and your priorities will shift. And guess what? You'll be happy to do it because kids will change your life in a beautiful way. And this is not just hyperbole. Like, we are telling you this because people told us this. Right? We were like, okay, yes. And then here we are telling an
audience this the same thing.
Circle of life.
It is. You know, Varnoosh, this was so much fun. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Thank you so much, Lindsay. I'm so happy to talk about this anytime.
I don't want you to feel overwhelmed by everything that we just covered because it was a lot. So if you have questions, feel free to DM us on Instagram or TikTok. If you love family money, make sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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Episode 1994: What Does Childcare Actually Cost?
Date: June 10, 2026
Host: Farnoosh Torabi (with guest host Lindsay Stanberry)
Guests:
This episode of So Money (featuring a takeover by Lindsay Stanberry) dives deep into the true costs of childcare in the US and offers a practical, candid conversation about how families can approach, plan for, and reframe this major expense. Through expert insights from economist Corinne Lowe and actionable advice from Farnoosh Torabi, the episode moves beyond sticker shock to explore childcare as an investment in family well-being, career continuity, and wealth-building.
— particularly in rural areas
[13:30–16:06]
[17:18–19:48]
[23:39–24:32]
[27:01–29:38]
[32:29–34:53]
The episode excels in blending empathy, candor, and practical money wisdom—never shying away from the tough realities, but always pushing listeners to think bigger, plan smarter, and shake off guilt and limiting beliefs about money, careers, and parenting.
“Your lifestyle will change and your priorities will shift. And guess what? You’ll be happy to do it because kids will change your life in a beautiful way... We are telling you this because people told us this. Right? And then here we are telling an audience the same thing.”
— Lindsay Stanberry and Farnoosh Torabi (36:41–37:03)