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A
This is a headgum podcast.
B
Yeah. There was nowhere to bring that. I don't know where I would have reported such a thing.
A
Yeah. Don't forget.
B
And also, like, unpaid internships. Are those not a thing anymore?
A
I'm sure they are, but I don't think I. I don't think I could get away with having an unpaid intern.
B
Yeah. People will come after that.
A
I've looked into it. I think, you know that you and I would have. And I know I say this to a lot of women and it's like a theme of the show, but you and I would have a beautiful life together.
B
I didn't know that was the theme of the show.
A
I do. I say it a lot.
B
But we do have a beautiful lifestyle.
A
You and I, specifically. I think I would have different beautiful lives with other women. But you and I, our beautiful life is like, we live in a cottage.
B
Our house would be amazing.
A
We're always wearing, like, you know those sweaters that have, like, the really thick collar, like the cardigans with the really big wooden buttons? Yes. We're both wearing those and, like, wearing our glasses like this and being like.
B
Did you eat that on the porch?
A
Did you read that?
B
Did you hear about Taylor Swift?
A
Did you read about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're, like, going over the news of the day, drinking tea and slippers. I think it'd be really gorgeous. We have 10 dogs running around.
B
Where do we live? Where is it?
A
I think, like, probably east coast.
B
Yeah.
A
Like, because this is, like, settled down vibes. You and I are probably.
B
This is later in life.
A
Yeah. In this. In this life, you and I. I mean, I'm trying to get you to Kansas City, of course, in real life, but in this life, we. We live on, like, a coastal town in Maine or something. Fresh.
B
London.
A
London, love.
B
We did live there together. Checking out.
A
We did live in London briefly.
B
Three weeks.
A
Yeah.
B
That's living together.
A
Did we. I don't know if I ever told on this story the way that that Airbnb host tried to scam us.
B
Oh, my God.
A
And I got my lick back.
B
But you were so right that, like, we had such problems with her. And I think you said, like, this is an issue to us now and feels like the biggest thing in the world, but a week from now, we will not remember what the problem was and why we were mad. And it's true for me, she was.
A
Really pissing us off. And in the moment of us both being pissed off, I was like, in a week, we'll forg this. And we Won't care it ever happened.
B
It's exactly what happened.
A
Yeah, that's what happened.
B
There's something about towels.
A
Well, we asked her. We were staying in an Airbnb for three weeks. We rented. In a bar, a flat for three weeks.
B
Yeah.
A
And we messaged her, like, maybe a weekend and said, hey, would it be possible to just come change the sheets over one time for us? And she goes, that won't be possible, love, you know, or whatever. Over message.
B
Yeah.
A
She's like, oi.
B
She's.
A
She's like. She's like, hey, sorry, we don't do that, but there's sheets. There's clean sheets in the closet. It'll be a fee if you use them. And I said, okay, so just be clear, we're staying here for three weeks. It's an additional fee if we get the sheets out of the closet ourselves. And she goes, yeah, it just. You know, because the cleaner will have to do extra sheets. And I said, what's the fee? And she said, like a hundred euro or something.
B
Yeah, she told us about the fee before she told us the. The fee. Oh. Because I ripped open the bag of the sheets, and then she was like, it'll be a hundred pounds or whatever. I was like, yeah. Tried to reach the plastic b. No, that. We didn't use the sheets at all.
A
I think she told us. I think I'm forgetting the order of it. She told us there was a fee before she told us anything. She goes. She goes, oh, yeah, we can get you sheets. It'll be a fee. And then we go, okay, fine, charge it. And then she goes, okay, open up that closet. They're in there.
B
And we go, oh, someone's coming here to put them.
A
We thought we were paying for someone to come and do it. Yes, that's what it was.
B
Yeah.
A
And I said. I said. I said, do you think that's a little crazy just because we're staying here for three weeks that you would charge us to grab our own sheets out of the thing? And she goes, yeah, well, you booked an Airbnb, not a hotel of. And while she did eat a little bit with that. Yeah, she is a dumb bitch. Still. That's crazy. I was like, yo. And then she.
B
It was a whole thing to get, like, extra keys. I think, like, one extra.
A
She didn't want to give us extra keys for the two of us. And. And we're there for three weeks on different schedules. And then I got my lick back, though, because when we were leaving, I did break a lamp on Accident. Oh, yeah, that's on me. And I. I turned my suitcase a weird way. The lamp fell off. It was like a cheap €5 lamp. I knew she was gonna overcharge. I messaged her. I said, hey, I'm so sorry this knocked over. We cleaned it up, but you'll have to get a new lamp for that table. And she goes, oh, that lamp was €75 reader. No, it wasn't. But I. I go, okay, that's your prerogative. I did break the lamp, but then she charged us for that in the sheets, which we, out of principle, decided not to use. And I messaged her back and I said at the end of the day, I said, hey, I subtracted the lamp cost. I won't actually be sending you money for the lamp. I subtracted it from what you charged us for the sheets. You owe us €30. And she said, nothing. And I responded every day for, like, four days. And I said, waiting on our €30. And she didn't get back to me. So I contacted Airbnb and said, hey, you can look at our messages and see why this woman owes me €30. Now do I need the €30? No. But she got her lick in with the little Airbnb hotel message, which was so cunt and fierce of her, by the way. And I love a diva, but I'm getting my €30. And she. And then the. The hour after I contacted Airbnb, she sent our €30.
B
That's right.
A
And I did this. Thank you, Kayla.
B
It was also one of those Airbnbs where you had to, like, go to a shop, like, a. A bit away.
A
Yeah. You have to go, like, five blocks away to, like, a convenience store and beg the guy for the keys. Yeah.
B
No, she would not. We never met her. She would not meet us there.
A
Yeah, she was real nice.
B
And we. It was above a nightclub. Yeah, thumping nightclub.
A
Didn't mention that. She also. She also. Just to give you context for why I was being so insane to her, she earned it in a million little ways. But one of the things she did was she. She listed the apartment as having ac. There was a unit in both the bedrooms and not the other three levels of the house. So we were in London. Summer heat wave with no air conditioning, humidity, which, like, I know they live like that, but. Sorry, I'm from somewhere better. I'm from a place where we don't rock like that. So I was livid, love.
B
Yeah. But we had so much fun.
A
We did have so much fun. I got you really into line Biking.
B
I almost died.
A
Yeah, you didn't.
B
Couple times. The time you weren't there, I almost died.
A
Did you?
B
When I was crying.
A
You didn't want to line bike with me at all.
B
No, I was so scared.
A
But we got there.
B
You are so. You're just, like, off and you're on your way and you're like, you've got it, and then you're.
A
Yeah.
B
Down the street.
A
I love them.
B
I almost ran straight into a bus. I remember the intersection. I could probably, like, if we went back to London, I could find the intersection.
A
Oh, that's the intersection where I ran into the bus almost.
B
It was all the way back from when we got ice cream with Shelby.
A
Yeah.
B
You guys, you were in front. Shelby was in the back. So that I felt safe in the middle.
A
We did do that for you.
B
I didn't feel safe. It helped a little bit, but I didn't really feel safe in the middle. And then you were just hoofing it and went sort of around a bus and I didn't know.
A
I have a lot of fun.
B
I'm not skilled like you. Yeah, no, it was fun.
A
A lot of fun on those things.
B
But you got me there.
A
Katie.
B
Yeah.
A
How the hell are you?
B
Oh, my God. I'm good.
A
Yeah?
B
Yeah.
A
What's been going on with you?
B
Nothing.
A
Nothing. Chilling.
B
I should have thought of something that's been going on with me before coming to. What have you been watching?
A
Watching. Listening to anything good? Seen anybody recently?
B
I've been watching Jersey Shore.
A
Whoa.
B
Yeah. Which I never watched before.
A
Welcome back to the fold.
B
Yeah, but it's new for you. New.
A
Whoa.
B
Yeah.
A
How are you feeling about it?
B
I really like it.
A
Are you. Are you getting into gtl? Are you wanting to gtl?
B
GTL is a really nice. Yeah, that's like the morning routine before the morning routine.
A
It's like a great concept, actually. Jim Tan laundry.
B
And those guys respect themselves. They don't respect women.
A
But they didn't have to. It was different. It was different.
B
That is like, the one sort of thing missing for me with Jersey Shore is like, it's really wholesome. They all, like, really love each other. They're really funny. Pauly D Is, like, hilarious.
A
Yeah.
B
But they're horrible to women.
A
The misogyny really jumps out.
B
The grenade thing, I like, vaguely recall that from. I was probably in college or. No, I was. Think I was just out of college when it started airing and grenade became like, you know, part of the parlance. Yeah.
A
Yeah. It's tough when fatphobia is funny because Like, I'll be honest, I hated it. But the first time I heard grenade, I was like, you gotta give your 10 sometimes. I was watching. I was watching Pitch Perfect last night.
B
Who were you?
A
And the frat guy. The frat guy goes like, I was expecting the hot Bellas. Not this barnyard explosion in reference to like a Chubby. Yeah, a chubby. What's her name? The blonde. She doesn't look like that Rebel Wilson.
B
Yeah, she.
A
Yeah, she's only chubby in that movie, by the way. They make her out to be some like obese monstrosity. She's a little chunky, like. And he calls it. He calls it a barnyard explosion. Sorry I laughed. That is really funny.
B
Well, the interesting thing about grenades is at least the ones that they portray on the show are usually not overweight.
A
No.
B
Thin women who are just like normal looking, I guess.
A
Yeah.
B
Or like, don't have pictures.
A
Yeah, yeah, it is interesting.
B
And there's levels of grenade. There's like grenade. There's like atomic bomb or something. I forget what they are like. Goes up. It moves up to like more destructive explosives.
A
Yeah. Mind you, all those guys look like. So it's like. It's like, who are you? Who are you saying anything about? Snooki. You look like a F, A G, G O T, my love. Not cute. I mean, the only really cute one.
B
Yeah. Who do you like?
A
Was Vinny to me. Okay, but then now you know too much about him. Right? He's like a Trumper.
B
He is.
A
Yeah. In an open micr. Pathetic. Sorry. But to be a Trumper in an open micr is like. Pick a struggle, brother.
B
Something really interesting to me watching it. I think it was season four. Vinnie came out about his anxiety disorder, which was maybe one of the first times in reality tv. I think someone spoke about having anxiety.
A
Yeah. Did it move you for a while and he. Were you moved?
B
No. I found it interesting.
A
Okay.
B
He left the house cuz his anxiety was so bad.
A
Whoa.
B
And it's like. Yeah, well, you're probably like doing a lot of drugs, drinking every night, not sleeping.
A
Yeah, you're not helping.
B
You guys are all pulling pranks on each other all the time. Like, yeah, let's price you have anxiety, brother.
A
You're gonna get anxiety from never sleeping, consuming a lot of substances and living in a prank house.
B
Really? Worse.
A
You'll get anxiety.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. Your blood will start to operate at a different temperature for sure. Oh, that's so funny. You're getting into Jersey Shore.
B
I know. What the hell?
A
I wasn't really big into it when it was on. I just kind of consumed it by osmosis. Because everyone was walking.
B
Yeah.
A
I was like, I kind of feel like I know what happened. Like, I know about the note about bed and I know about. I like, I know about her getting arrested and I know about Sammy and Ronnie's shit. Like, I know it just. Cause all my friends talked about it.
B
Sammy and Ronnie, See, I knew all this stuff too. And then I was like, it's time to dig in and actually see it. The lead up to the note is really fun. And Sammy and Ronnie is unbelievable. They break up and get back together 10, 12, 14 times. Yeah, it's out of control.
A
That's awesome, though.
B
Yeah, it's really fun.
A
Everyone has a straight couple like that. Like, I had a straight couple like that in high school that I was like, oh, my God, they're so Sammy and Ronnie coated. They're horrib.
B
They're like, are they together?
A
Like fire and gasoline?
B
What are they together now?
A
Don't remember. Don't know.
B
Don't remember.
A
I have a special thing that happened with my brain where I don't remember most of the people I went to high school with. And I mean that in a serious way. Where like, truly my. The couple people I'm friends with from high school will bring up somebody, they'll be like, oh, you remember Anastasia Cupcake? And I'm like, it'll be like a distinctive name that I should totally remember. I don't. They're like, you had five classes with her senior year. You guys rode to school together.
B
I'll be like, huh, you guys went to prom together?
A
Yeah. I'm like, no, no, no. Me and Anastasia Cupcake, Just science.
B
And you went to high school recently?
A
Yeah, it was. I graduated high school eight months ago. You're doing really well for yourself. Yeah.
B
When did you really graduate high school?
A
You don't want to talk about this. And I think you know.
B
Fine, fine.
A
2013.
B
I was just here already.
A
You were in LA working for Jeremiah.
B
My career. That was after Jared Leto.
A
Oh, you'd already worked for Jared Leto?
B
2009, 2010. When you're in second grade. I'm working for Jared Leto.
A
I'm saying my first words.
B
Jared.
A
That's your boss? Yeah.
B
That's how we knew we were doing it.
A
What did you do for Jared Leto again? I forget.
B
Oh, just like random shit. It started. It was a Craigslist ad for. This is 2009. So I guess, like, the only way to get a job There were no other LinkedIn was. Not a thing yet, I don't think I just graduated college and. And it was a listing for, like, an editorial intern on a documentary. And in college. I went to college in Vermont. I was an anthropology sociology major. I was like, maybe I could get into documentary filmmaking. That sounds great. And I show up to the interview. They're like, yeah, it's Jared Leto. It's about Jared Leto and his band. And I'm, like, going back, because first they said 30 seconds to Mars, which is the name of his band. And in my head, I'm going, the Mars Volta. And I'm like, who's that guy? I'm, like, trying to understand who Jared Leto is, and that he's apparently in the Mars Volta, mixing it up. I realize who he is, and the job is editing footage from his house on a documentary that he is making about himself. And I did that for, like, two years.
A
That's awesome.
B
And I wasn't paid for, like, the first year of it.
A
Yeah.
B
He was being sued by his record company at the time for $30 million because he had, like, failed to deliver the number of albums that he was contracted to do.
A
Yeah.
B
And so he was really obviously taken aback by the injustice of that and made a documentary about it. And then I think it turned into more of, like, a documentary about the music industry, but I was long gone by the time that came out. Oh, yeah.
A
This feels like an era of LA that is dead and gone. Of, like, in some ways. Yeah, in some ways.
B
Good.
A
But also, like, a lot of interesting shit seemed to be happening back then. Like, you just be. I don't know. It just is interesting that you're, like.
B
Fall into Jared Leto's house.
A
Falling into Jared Leto's house. Like, it's not like that anymore now. It's a very tight network of who's recommended for what. And, like, true. It really is just, like, that felt like such an era.
B
It was. And, like, it was like, a week into getting to la, and then it's my first day, and I'm in Jared Leto's house in a spare bedroom, and he's just, like, walking around eating cereal. It was very strange.
A
Weird.
B
Yeah.
A
You watch movies sometimes from that era, like, Judd Apatow movies or something, and you're like. You're like, oh, that feels totally different than the LA that I lived in. And I'm doing the same shit they were doing. I'm working in comedy in Los Angeles, but I don't feel the way that they're depicting and it feels like that was a whole different thing they were.
B
Doing, like getting going, like getting your start, like getting.
A
It's the phone, I think it's. The. Cell phones are a big part of it. And no one wants to hear you talk about that really. But like it's like. I do think it's just like it was a different thing back then. People were less inhibited because they felt less watched. I think even though they were quite famous, I think in their day to day life they felt less watched. And so they were more comfortable hiring an intern for their documentary about themselves and not paying them. You know what I mean?
B
Like you didn't have that now.
A
You didn't have this sense, you know, that you were going to get ripped apart for that someday. Like you should, you know, it just was. I think it feels like it was a less inhibited time when people were being more insane, which is bad. But interesting.
B
Yeah, that is interesting. It's probably true. Yeah. There was nowhere to bring that. I don't know where I would have reported such a thing.
A
Yeah.
B
And also like unpaid internships. Are those not a thing anymore?
A
I'm sure they are, but I don't think I. I don't think I could get away with having an unpaid intern.
B
Yeah, people come out.
A
I've looked into it. No, we, we like to pay in all seriousness. But I, I do.
B
But hey, I learned so much invaluable experience. Experience.
A
I got exposure to the industry.
B
I learned how to go grocery shopping for him. Yeah, it did turn into like. I just did like every sort of job that came up. When the editing work sort of fell off, we went on tour with him.
A
How was that?
B
It was rough.
A
Yeah.
B
I have really bad motion sickness, which is probably like something you could just read about me and like my personality, that I'm someone who gets really bad motion sickness. And we slept on the bus every night and I threw up like every night. It was.
A
I don't like that. You were in one of the bunks.
B
I was in one of the bunks. Have you done tour bus before?
A
Nope.
B
No.
A
No. And I'm actually thinking next tour I will. I've always been anti tour bus, but then I've talked to a lot of people who do the tour bus and I'm like, the time that we spent on this last tour, leaving the theater, going back to the hotel to drop off our stuff, going out to see friends, going back, sleeping for four hours, going to the airport early enough to get on the plane. I think nightmare had. We Just put our on the bus. Gone straight to see friends for an hour and a half. Got in, gone to sleep. While we're being driven to the next venue and woken up at the place, I think that convenience would make up for the kind of, like, bad sleep and annoying, like.
B
Yeah, I was gonna say if you can. Yeah, if you can make it happen. It is like being in a coffin.
A
I'll need to sedate, and I won't be in the coffin.
B
You'll be on the big bed.
A
I'll be on the big bed in the back.
B
Hell, yeah. You guys will be in the coffee.
A
Some of my cooler, nicer musician friends.
B
Are like, three high.
A
They're like, you can turn the back bedroom into another hangout area for everybody. And I go, it'll be my bedroom.
B
We are not done hanging out.
A
I'm not squeezing into the coffin.
B
Yeah, fair enough.
A
Chance in Virginia. All my love. All my love to them.
B
Get in your coffin.
A
They will look so cute in their coffins. I'm gonna tape their coffin shut. Like, when you're on a high school trip so they would know that you didn't go do stuff overnight. Oh, my God. I'm like, okay. And no one's hanging out without me. Here's your tape. Good night. I get up, the tape's broken. I'm like, guys meeting.
B
Who did this?
A
Meeting in my suite.
B
I fell out of my coffin once. The first night. I, like, woke up. I was on the top bunk. Woke up super disoriented, and I forgot where I was and sort of, like, freaked out because it's like, you're laying in this thing and the ceiling is, like, here.
A
Yeah.
B
It's, like, super close to you.
A
Yeah.
B
So I woke up. I was like, where the fuck am I? And I went to, like, sit up, and I hit the thing.
A
Katie.
B
And I was like, oh, I'm like, being buried alive. It was that feeling like, oh, shit, I'm fucked. And I rolled out and I hit the ground. And then that was, like, the story for the rest of that tour. Jared Leto made a lot of fun of me for that, but now I'm making fun of him.
A
Yeah, baby.
B
For all the other stuff.
A
Well, all the other stuff that's gone on.
B
Yeah.
A
What. What transpired from there. When did you start, like, actually writing for tv?
B
So interesting.
A
Because you're from Massachusetts.
B
From Massachusetts, that's right. You come out here, straight here, and now, Jared.
A
You do Jared.
B
Then I'm like, enough of that. I got fired.
A
Yeah. I say, enough of that. They Let me go.
B
I got fired, and it, like, broke my heart. I was like. I, like, lost my mind. It was the first time I've ever been fired, and I just thought it was the end of my life. I'm like, 22 years old. I'm like, that's it. I have to move home.
A
It feels like then you get really good at getting fired if you do it enough.
B
I don't think it's happened since then.
A
I've been fired enough times that it starts to feel good. You start to feel proud of them because you're like, you should fire me. You know, you start to. Because I was bad at my jobs.
B
Trying to goad them into doing it.
A
Well, it's like I was bad at my jobs, and they were right to fire me. Oh, God. I was a horrible. I was a horrible at all.
B
I was a horrible.
A
I was a horrible at most of them. I mean, I just didn't care. It was like I wanted to do comedy. And so it's like this. I'm paying my bills and I do not want to be here, and I will not make errors about it.
B
But, like, waiting tables, like, what kind of.
A
I was really good at waiting tables. That's actually probably. Waiting tables is probably the one job that I.
B
You are so good at that I.
A
Know we love to be doing.
B
Yeah.
A
Like, I actually love waiting tables, but 40%, obviously, I prefer this job over that, but I was horrible. Like, being an assistant, being in offices. I had one. I was. I'm sure I've said this on the show, but I had one boss who was so sweet. I can. I kept showing up to work late, and she. She said, you know, do you have an alarm clock? Can I get you one? She was trying to, like, remove barriers to me, and I. And I had to say, my love, I have one and I'm coming late regardless. I just was. Yeah, that was my. I just wasn't doing it.
B
Yeah, fine. Well, it worked out for you, but you got fired.
A
And then what'd you do after Jared, when you. When you put yourself back together?
B
I did some. Well, I built back stronger than ever. Yeah, I did a lot of random jobs. I work on, like, a Nickelodeon game show where people got slimed. Remember being slimed?
A
Yeah.
B
I would, like, clean up the kids after they got slimed.
A
Hosing down the kids out back, y' all, get the slime off of you.
B
I would run out with, like, big towels and be like, here, here. It's like watered down vanilla pudding. So it's really Gross. Yeah, yeah. Bring them out to, like, shower and stuff. That was a fun, fun job. What else? Well, I started my TV career. TV writing career. Maybe, like, 10 years ago now. 10, 11, 12 years ago.
A
Make a choice.
B
Well, it would have been. It would have been 2014, so that's. Yeah. 11 years ago, I was a PA.
A
Yeah, you were a PA last man standing or. No, this is. Okay.
B
Last Man Standing, Tim Allen sitcom. Last Man Standing.
A
Tim Allen's Last man Standing.
B
I got a random. It was, like, supposed to be a temp job, and because, like, the guy who was the writer's PA broke his leg. And they were like, we need someone for just two weeks while he, like, is on the mend.
A
Yeah.
B
And then that guy never came back. They were like, we, like you. You're gonna stay. So I never found out who that guy was, but somewhere out there, there's.
A
A guy who never had a career in TV because of that, and he's got a different story. Two legs willing, ready to run scripts.
B
So, yeah, it all started then.
A
How was. How was your experience on Last Man Standing?
B
Yeah, yeah, it was interesting. Like, in terms of a TV job that's, like, instructive for all of my future work. It wasn't great. Like, that was a classic sitcom, and we don't really have many of those left. Like, it was really cool working on that. You, like, record in front of a studio audience. I haven't experienced that since. I don't think they're really doing it. I've never much like that anymore.
A
Yeah.
B
Multicam sitcoms are still a thing, but, like, not nearly as much as. As they were.
A
No, it used to be the thing.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. That's crazy. We just don't do that at all.
B
We don't really. That was so fun. And you write an episode every week, and on, like, Thursday and Friday, you tape it, and then you move on to the next thing.
A
How'd you wind up at Rick and Morty?
B
Well. Well, let me regale. Well, I moved up. I was a pa, and then I was a showrunner's assistant. Did the classic ladder. I was a writer's assistant, which, as you know, you've been in writers rooms before. You're in the room writing down what everyone says. And I was a writer's assistant on a show called Kidding, starring Jim Carrey, Showtime Show. I don't think that many people ended up seeing it, really. Directed by Michelle Gondry. Don't care.
A
I'm listening intently.
B
And I got the Rick and Morty job. From that I submitted for it, and this is something they did that I think is sort of, like, frowned upon, maybe in the industry. But I thought it was great.
A
They said, you're not pregnant, are you? You don't got any diseases or anything.
B
Come on. No, they did like a blind submission test. So we were tasked with writing two cold opens that could be the beginning of a Rick and Morty episode and submit it anonymously. And then they went through a pile and read them and picked the ones that they liked the best. It's frowned upon because you're doing, like, work for free.
A
Yeah.
B
Um, but I think they probably told us when we submitted, like, we're not going to actually use this and, like, they don't need to use that. I think people think like, oh, if I write like a spec script and they really like it, they're going to fucking steal it and make that episode of tv.
A
It's like, no, the reason you're trying to get a job with them is because they don't need your work.
B
Exactly.
A
It's like, no, they're actually not. They're not dying for your idea over at Rick and Morty. Yeah, they're going to be fine without that.
B
And I think nine times out of 10, or maybe even 10 times out of 10, if you have an idea for a show and you're like, why haven't I done that? I'm going to write this spec script. They have fucking thought of that idea.
A
Right.
B
And there's a reason they didn't do it. And it's probably the reason that your spectrum is not that great.
A
Yeah.
B
So anyways, I got the job.
A
Yeah, well, that's a very particular. I'm very interested in, like, the. That world of comedy that you started to work in, because that kind of fan base is a very particular place that has such intense, dedicated fans that they do start to think like, well, I could write this. I know this very well. I'm just as good at this as they are. I know the character so well. It's a very bought in fan base that has its own, like, peculiarities and, like, interesting little pieces. Yeah, that's where you, like, really cut your teeth on, like, writing comedy, right?
B
Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I don't really think about it that I. I still struggle to accept that I write comedy.
A
That's interesting.
B
That's my job. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, I was hoping for that.
A
Yeah, maybe I'm happy to provide it.
B
Yeah, I just. Yeah, I really like it, but I'm. I Guess I'm still suffering from imposter syndrome, like, to this day of, like, someday soon someone's gonna figure out that I'm not supposed to be here and I better just collect until they realize.
A
Yeah, I'm raking it in until then. Yeah, that's. That's scary. I hate that feeling for you, though, because you are so good at it.
B
Thank you. That's very nice.
A
And we've gotten to work together on stuff. We wrote a. We spent years developing a show together. We did called Best Buds. It was a cartoon.
B
How come it never happened?
A
Well, it went multiple places. I mean, we. Katie and I developed this show originally for Peacock. No, try again. Remember, it was for Quibi. Quibi.
B
Right.
A
God, what a humiliating industry. Yeah. We developed a show for. What was it?
B
Oh, Quibi, which is short for quick bite.
A
Of course. We developed it for Quibi. And then it didn't obviously, happen there because of their imminent failure. And then we did it. Developed it for Peacock.
B
No more Quibi.
A
Long time with Peacock. They decided not to make it at Universal. Then we develop Netflix. Bought it. Then we developed it for Netflix. So thankfully, we made money off this show, like, quite a bit.
B
Yeah.
A
But no one ever made it. And you and I, truly writing this show, laughed so goddamn hard.
B
It was really fun.
A
Katie and I, I will never forget one day we were writing and we just worked so well together. Like, I really enjoyed writing, like, developing that with you. There was one day where. Where we were writing that. My character in the animated show gets so stoned.
B
Oh, my God.
A
He thinks he's moving quickly, but he's. He's moving so slow. Climbing a ladder to go up a building. And we were truly, like. We really wanted it. We wanted the sequence to go on for, like, two and a half.
B
It's like, half the episode.
A
Truly like him just.
B
They're like, we gotta hurry up. We gotta go tell this character this thing. Yeah, it's like, okay, we'll go tell him. And then just, like, 30 seconds of, like, unmoving, still frame. Just, like, them sitting there.
A
I'm so stone. And we were crying, laughing, writing this. And we had so many moments like that where, yeah, we would just be truly, like, weeping, writing these ideas down. A lot of fun.
B
It's really weird that you can do all that and then people are just like, no, we don't want it.
A
Yeah, we're going in a. We're actually.
B
I'm sorry.
A
We fired the whole team that bought this from you. And the new team wants to go Family friendly or whatever.
B
Yeah.
A
They change their mandate over. All of a sudden. Yeah. All of a sudden you're like, oh, my thing is not. Doesn't fit into your deal anymore.
B
It is the weirdest thing, especially when executives not to like go off about executives tell you like what the company is looking for right now and it's like, well, we're really looking for our Ted Lasso. It's like, no, you're not. Like you're looking for your Ted Lasso now. By the time you find it and you produce your Ted Lasso and it's like three years in the future, no one fucking wants to see a Ted Lasso anymore.
A
And you won't make it.
B
You can't go with what these people are telling you they're looking for. You just have to do the best thing that you can.
A
Also fuck family friendly, family friendly media.
B
Yeah.
A
I'm just going to say it. Fuck that shit.
B
Fuck it.
A
I'm tired of hearing about it.
B
Fuck you.
A
I don't want to. They say we need something that everyone, that everyone would want to watch. Everyone.
B
No. Yeah.
A
I want to make stuff for the people that want to watch me.
B
Yeah.
A
If you don't like me, don't tune in.
B
Caleb Quad.
A
Caleb Quad. We're doing, you know what content.
B
Caleb being sad.
A
Caleb friendly, funny content. Let's see Caleb Friendly programming on the network.
B
And that's what it was. Really.
A
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B
Do you think there's any life left in it? Could we. I remember the engine.
A
I don't know. Maybe I just remember that when it. When it died at Netflix, that our wonderful producers who we both love. Yeah, they're like, maybe we could do it live action. And that's. I'm out. That, that to me was like, we're trying too hard.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
We. That, that to me was the Death Note.
B
Well, we didn't hear anything after that, so I don't think.
A
Yeah, yeah, maybe they tried legs.
B
Everyone else was like, no.
A
Yeah. We also had a, we had a really funny character in that show that he's a. A 12 step sober recovery guy that runs the liquor store. And we loved him.
B
We really loved him. There was like a Hooters esque restaurant.
A
There was an astrophysicist who was a server at Hooters.
B
That's right. They're all really smart and have their masters.
A
They're all there to pay off their.
B
PhDs because we're allies.
A
Yeah, we're so funny. And we have the teens who work at the Boost Mobile and no one really knows what happens at Boost Mobile.
B
That's right. Empty store.
A
Empty store. You go in and you're like, what do they do? And they're like, for sure. And you're like, okay.
B
And then they had that door to the back where like every time they open it, it's like a fucking rave going on back there and they want to see what's going on.
A
Everyone listening to this being like, great. Well, that show doesn't exist.
B
Yeah, stop telling thinks about your non existent show.
A
Okay, so you wrote on Rick and Morty.
B
Yeah.
A
And then after that you've done so much like. What did you just punch up? You just punched up something.
B
Gee, I don't know. I did. I've. I do some punch up. I write jokes.
A
Yeah, well, you were. You and I also, I think became friends because we were both, we both got big on Twitter during a golden era. Twitter, when we were big on Twitter was like, that was the best.
B
You were smart. You left. You're gone now.
A
Oh, I left.
B
I'm still in there. It's horrible.
A
I'm fighting for my life over there.
B
I like, you know, it's like I look at my follower account and I'm like, three of these people are still here and watching and real bad vibes on there.
A
Heyday of our Twitter time though. You were getting invited to like Chance the rappers fucking recording.
B
That's right. That did happen.
A
Like Katie was like a fucking like an icon of the Twitter golden era.
B
And then I showed up and, and he was just like. I think he like thought I was going to be like funnier.
A
Yeah.
B
And I showed up to Chance's recording studio and I was just like, Very quiet and intimidated and, like, nervous about, like, what to do. Yeah, he was very nice.
A
Yeah.
B
But it was bizarre. And also, like, I thought I was, like, getting scammed for a second before I met up with him because he was so, like. He just DM'd me. And he's like, you're so funny. I love Rick and Morty, like, come to the studio. I was like, what? And he, like, gave me his phone number. I was like, huh? And then, like, that didn't happen. And then it was, like, many months later, I had, like, saved his number in my phone, and I'm just, like, lying on the couch, and my phone lights up, and it's like, Chancellor rapper is FaceTiming you. I was like, huh? And I just, like, didn't know what to do. I didn't pick it up. And then it hung up. And then he texted me, and he was like, oh, I'm sorry. I realized that's probably, like, weird. It might be weird to get a FaceTime from me. We've, like, never talked before.
A
Yeah.
B
And he was like, I'm at the student now. Like, you should come. Just hang out. And I was like, okay, I'm not doing anything. Sure. And then I was about to leave the house, and I was like, you know what, Chance? Facetime me, because now I think this is a scam.
A
Yeah.
B
And you're gonna kill me. And then he FaceTimed me, and it was him. And then we went and hung out.
A
That's so fun.
B
Very strange. Twitter used to be.
A
So that's how it was back then.
B
Yeah.
A
That was like. Twitter was just like, anybody who. If you followed someone who was doing something interesting and they followed you back, it was like, in a. In a second's notice, we will turn this into a real life hang. No problem. It was. It was so fun.
B
That's how we became friends, you and I.
A
We followed each other. I thought. I think you are brilliant. I thought you were brilliant. And I was like, we gotta be friends.
B
I know. Look at us.
A
And then we are.
B
I remember what made me fall in love with you. The video.
A
Sugar. Tell them. Tell our story, Sug.
B
The video where I was like, this guy's hilarious. Is when you're listening to your friend tell a story and you're, like, trying to interject. Dude, give him a little taste.
A
When you're venting. Venting to or affirming a friend who's clearly in the wrong. That was the. The big viral.
B
Yes.
A
That was, like, one of the ones that if I.
B
It was the one where you're saying, like. But if you. Yeah, right, right. And if she.
A
Yeah, no, I would say in a career you have to have many breaks. That was my first big. Big. That was bigger earlier that year. That was 2019. Earlier that year I had screen tested for SNL. And this was bigger than that. I mean, this was like. Yeah, this was like people. Because a bunch of funny people and cool people making stuff like, you saw it and we're like, oh, maybe this guy's funny. That was big. That was. That video was big for me.
B
My big video, Never Live it down is the Fat Joe.
A
Oh, my God. You engineer, video recording studio. Do you guys ever see this? It was. It was Katie pretending to be the sound engineer for a Fat Joe song. And he goes, turn the fucking mic on. And she goes, it's on.
B
It still comes up a lot.
A
So funny.
B
And it's that type of thing. Do you have this feeling when, like, everyone thinks something you've done is really funny, where you start to be like, it's not that funny.
A
Yeah, you start to God with this. Yeah.
B
And then as soon as people really liked it, I felt like, okay, I have to keep doing this. And there's plenty of songs that have the same sort of like, you know, especially like a rapper, like saying some shit at the beginning of the track that you can react to. But the more I tried to do it, I was like, what am I doing? This is not. I gotta find something else.
A
Yeah, you're chasing the dragon.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't like when people think I'm that funny.
A
Yeah.
B
It's like I want to tell them.
A
Like, okay, I do. People think I'm not funny.
B
I go, yeah, yes, you're right.
A
No, I do. When they latch onto one specific, I want them to think I'm holistically funny. I want them to think that each new thing I do is funnier than the last. So when they hang on to an old one for too long, I'm like, come on.
B
Yeah, I've got other stuff. Stuff.
A
Got other stuff, man. Yeah, yeah.
B
I don't really. That's kind of my one thing. That's kind of my one thing.
A
What? So then, yeah, we met and then I moved to la. We were mutuals for a bit. Did we meet when I moved to la?
B
That's right. During the pandemic.
A
Yeah, during the pandemic.
B
I don't think we met before that.
A
No.
B
We would meet up at the Krispy Kreme.
A
We met up at the Krispy Kreme. Oh, yeah. We would eat Krispy Kreme on the hood of my car in Burbank. Yeah. During the.
B
That's so sweet.
A
LA Pandemic was like wholesome and nightmarish. Yeah, it was like really cute because everyone was finding these like old school ways to connect where they're like, you guys want to go sit around the fire, you know, but. But it was also looming like disasters all the. All around. It felt very. Felt very dystopic movie.
B
Yeah. Pandemic, some say still happening.
A
Well, we'd have to have one of them on. Come on out, Tony. It's Mr. It's Tony Fauci. Mr. Fauci. Mr. FAUCI. I'm not calling you Dr. Mr. Fauci.
B
Where is he? Right there.
A
Katie, what's so true to you? Dude.
B
Oh my God. Okay, should we do a nice one or a mean one?
A
Mean.
B
Yeah, I kind of want to. And I don't know if anyone has gone off about this on your show. Stop me if they have. I think that if you use ChatGPT, you are probably the worst imaginable person. You did not believe in the future of humanity. You don't care about other people.
A
Yeah, I think it's pathetic.
B
It's so fucking pathetic because what do.
A
You mean you need it?
B
Like, you don't need it.
A
You didn't need it a year and a half ago to make dinner and all of a sudden you can't figure out what to do with chicken and carrots. Like, Google it. Knock it off, bitch. I hate, I hate the AI stuff. I hate it so much. I hate that people are, they're like, well, I, it, it helps me with my email, so it frees me up to do other stuff. And yet you're doing nothing remarkable with the other.
B
Tick tock.
A
Knock it off. Scrolling tick tock. And I hate, I hate the AI stuff. I'm so sick of it. I'm, I'm tired of watching smart, competent people act so dumb about everything. You go, well, it's, you know, it's just easier.
B
Well, the defense too is that they're like, it's not going anywhere. So I'm just going to use it. It's like, okay, you want to be on the front lines of like the downfall of humanity. Like you're not. And also like, you're not preparing. Like, you using Chat GPT now does not make you any more a equipped. Like, everyone knows how to use it.
A
Yeah.
B
It's not some skill that you're acquiring to like be Ready.
A
And then it tells you what you want to hear.
B
It's so fucking. And it's, it's the thing like people wonder why I'm really like on my high horse about specifically chat GPT, but to me it's like the most harmful in so many different ways thing that you do not need to use at all.
A
Yeah.
B
There is no good use for it. However, every time you use it, a bottle of water is waste fresh water.
A
Yeah.
B
That we need. We're like running out of that immin.
A
Low key need that gone. Yeah.
B
It's. It's gonna take our jobs.
A
Yeah.
B
Every time you speak to it, it learns from you and learns to emulate you and will take jobs from you. Every customer service job gone.
A
Yeah.
B
Because you're fucking chatting with chat GBT.
A
All the time because you didn't want to write an email at work. Here's another thing. I'll give a so true for the episode. People with email jobs, you're fine. These people act like, here's. Okay, here's my so true for the episode.
B
Yeah.
A
If it is 9 o' clock at a. A hangout on a weeknight and you have an email job, you don't get to say you have to get to bed. You're gonna be fine tomorrow. You're gonna be fine tomorrow. You type emails for a living and like around in, in Excel sheets.
B
Yeah.
A
You're fine. People with computer jobs acting like they are like going to war. You have the easiest existence in the history of the world. You can stay out late on a weeknight. It's the whole reason you. We used to want office jobs so that we could have more fun lives.
B
Yeah.
A
Used to want an office job to be like, oh, I can go out and have fun. All I have to do tomorrow is an office job. I'm not roofing houses.
B
And now you're saying, what's the attitude of. Of office worker?
A
I'm saying so many people I know that have computer jobs like, we gotta turn in, I've got work tomorrow. Your job is fake. And then now on top of having a fake job, they're using chat GBT to write the fake emails.
B
Yeah.
A
You do nothing and they will be.
B
Laid off in six months.
A
And that part is sad.
B
Is it though?
A
I want you to keep your fake job. I know. I want you to keep your fake job so that we can hang out. But people are being boring.
B
And furthermore, I have a second. So true.
A
Say it now.
B
Okay. You know those like delivery robots that are going all over the place Kick them over. Fuck those fucking things.
A
One cut me off the other day. One cut me off.
B
Should have hit it.
A
I was driving and it pulled out on the sidewalk in front of me and I literally went, hey, man, I'm talking to him like he's real.
B
Well, that's the problem. I know we've been primed.
A
I'm part of the problem.
B
To, like, I've seen a lot of videos on, like, TikTok of, like, people feeling sad because the little, like, robot can't get across the street and he's so scared and he can't get over it. No. Put a big magnet next because he has taken someone's job. Not a great job, delivery driving, but it is taking wages from people.
A
Yeah.
B
And I do feel like Pixar and everyone, whoever else has been humanizing robots for so long so that when we got to this point where they are taking our jobs, we're like, oh, my God, that, like, delivery robot is so cute.
A
It's sad to watch him have eyeballs and try to cross the street. They're doing something to us.
B
I know. It has worked on me and I'm like, what the. Am I feeling like this should be a human being?
A
Take his eyes away. Take his eyes away and who cares?
B
Take off his name tag. They have a little name tag.
A
His name tag. Get his. If you see a delivery robot, take his eyes away and take his name tag. Spray paint his eyes and take his name tag. We cannot see him as real. He's nobody.
B
He's nobody. He's a. He's a robot.
A
Nothing. He's an it.
B
You know, people are calling robots clankers now.
A
Yeah.
B
Which is so whoever came up with clankers, like, good job.
A
Yeah.
B
It sounds so.
A
Like, it's nice to say. Yeah, it does sound like a slur.
B
Which I love to say.
A
It actually feels good. And I think it's like, as white people. It's nice to have a slur that we can safely.
B
I've been waiting.
A
It's good to be. Let's get all the racist white people and be like, look, here's one you can do.
B
Clankers. Clankers.
A
Yeah. Run with this one. Run with this one. Leave real people of color alone. Run with this one. This is good. Let's radicalize.
B
Should hate those things.
A
Yeah. It's like, this is good.
B
Yeah.
A
Like, I don't want these clankers taking my jobs. It's like, that's nice.
B
Exactly.
A
Do say that. Yeah. Take his eyes.
B
Anyway, Chad, GPT you. If you use it, you're stupid. You're destroying the environment. You're making yourself dumber. All of these kids are now going to college and not even learning. They're going straight to Chat GPT.
A
Professors are using it now.
B
My dad is a college professor.
A
Yeah.
B
And I've been talking to him about it and he has gotten to the point he'll tell me, like the assignments that he gives to his students. This one recently, he was like, I sent a nine page article to my students and I asked them to read it and I said, if you don't finish it, just email me and tell me why you couldn't finish it. That is like the assignment. He knows that kids can't even read a nine page article. And all he wants is for you to say at what point you stopped reading because you were so fucking bored you couldn't get through it and why and maybe explore that. He is at the end of his rope.
A
This man is trying to hold the education system together by a thread.
B
And he just knows, like, there's nothing to do. He uses those AI detectors. He doesn't use chat gbt, but he uses the detectors.
A
Yeah.
B
And I think a lot of his students try to convince him that. That they're not using chat gbt and he's like, dog, yeah, you are.
A
I just want to ask all these people, what do you want out of your life? Exactly what would you like your time on earth to be about? Is everything. Everything's the God that you really want to worship at? Is everything supposed to be so easy? Are you. Do you really want to spend your whole time on earth never doing a single challenging thing to your mind and just drool over a fucking slop bowl with ChatGPT telling you, like, what you should write to your friend who you want to see?
B
That actually sounds kind of sick.
A
Of course that's nice. Of course that's nice.
B
What's in it?
A
That's what? I just had one. I'm saying, like, of course there's parts of this that are cool, but you want to spend every minute of your life doing nothing. For real. Actually, that's crazy.
B
I know. There's no more thirst for knowledge.
A
Don't you think I was giving you a pause because I thought you were going into something more?
B
But no, straight up, the thirst for knowledge is gone.
A
Say that.
B
I just said it.
A
We start crying. We start sobbing during this. The thirst for knowledge is gone. I want people to want to do anything. Planned Parenthood. Oh, okay. Let's just. We'll tighten up a little bit. Your body is your own. Plan Parenthood believes everyone should be free to make decisions about their own care, including abortion, which is fine whenever and wherever they need it, today and every day. Planned Parenthood is committed to ensuring everyone has the information and resources they need to make decisions about their future. Sorry, it is a big tone shift, isn't it? Whether you need STI testing and who doesn't, right? And treatment, birth control, gender affirming care. I bet a lot of you abortion, sex education or another sexual and reproductive health service. Planned Parenthood is there for you and all of us, honestly. But lawmakers across the country who want to force their personal beliefs on everyone are trying to block people from getting the sexual and reproductive care they need. This makes me sick. They're cutting access to essential health care, trying to deny people birth control, promoting abstinence only until marriage programs, falling asleep and attacking Planned Parenthood. Simply put, they want more control over our bodies, decisions and futures. Right now, millions of people are at risk of losing access to care, especially women, Black and Latino communities, rural communities and people with low incomes. Planned Parenthood believes healthcare is a human right that everyone deserves. And together with people like you and me, they fight every day to build the future we deserve. One where everyone can get the care they need, no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power Planned Parenthood's work. Donate now at Planned Parenthood Keep it in. I'm human. Donate now@planned parenthood.org defend cozy the home of Possibilities I'm sitting on my cozy couch that they sent me right now. Cozy makes furnishing your home easy. Moving is exhausting and designing a home can be really time consuming. Cozy helps you make that process fast and hassle free and eliminates all the usual heavy lifting with their fast assembly and easy to move boxes. That is true, the boxes were very easy to move. I got this couch from Cozy and honestly, it's become one of my most used pieces of furniture because it's a couch in my house. I chose this couch because I love the color and if it's perfectly in the new living room at my new apartment, after a long day, all I want to do is sit down and relax and this couch has made the arduous job of being a comedian so much more comfortable. That's because Cozy delivers delivers comfort and versatility. Their furniture is designed with practical comfort in mind to suit your lifestyle. The designs are modular which makes them easy to shift and adjust to whatever your needs may be. This also means they can adapt over time if you need to rearrange your home down the line with Cozy, you can truly enjoy the luxury of choice. Their furniture is meant to keep up with you. Transform your living space today with cozy. Visit cozy.com spelled C O Z E Y. Cozy. The home of possibilities made easy. You ever seen the breakup 2006? Vince Vaughn?
B
You love that movie. I do. Really love it too. What are you gonna say about it?
A
Well, just he. Vince Vaughn goes, why would I want to do the dishes? And she goes, I want you to want to do the dishes because, you know, I need help. And it's a really great argument. One of the all time great film arguments in the breakup 2006.
B
Is that the same argument as he was supposed to bring 12 lemons and he brought like two?
A
It starts with the lemons.
B
Yeah, yeah, it's actually one of 12.
A
There's a really. There's a really funny joke in the breakup where Vince, she asks him for 12 lemons and he brings three or whatever. And she goes, you brought three lemons. And he's like playing video games and he goes, yeah, my baby wants lemons, my baby gets lemons, but baby wanted 12. Yeah. Yeah. God, what a great movie.
B
It's a really good movie.
A
Really great movie. One of the all time great fights and some really funny scenes in there. You guys should all go watch it.
B
Should we remake it?
A
Yeah, should you want to star?
B
Yeah. Do you want to start? Yeah. We're in it together.
A
You're Jen.
B
Is that believable? We were together and now we're breaking up.
A
Yeah. Yeah. I think my character will have to.
B
Have a secret, but yeah, layer.
A
Yeah, we'll layer in some secret.
B
Great.
A
His buddies, he plays pool with. It's not all they do, but yeah.
B
This is interesting.
A
This is nice stuff to think about.
B
Oh, my God, we gotta make a movie together.
A
What's your favorite movie of all time?
B
That thing you do.
A
Whoa.
B
Do you like that movie?
A
Never seen it. Who's in?
B
Well, it's Tom Hanks. Written, directed, starring. He's not really the star. He's a co star. You know, it's about a band, like a one hit wonder band. You got Tom Hayden Scott. Is that his name?
A
Thomas Hayden Church.
B
No, Tom Everett Scott.
A
Tom Everett Scott.
B
Whoa.
A
Okay.
B
You got Steve Zahn, you got Ethan Embry.
A
Don't know.
B
And you got the fourth guy.
A
I know, Ethan Embry. He was in Sweet Home Alabama.
B
That's right.
A
Nice. And who's the fourth guy? Some guy. Got it.
B
He did a great job.
A
Got it. Yeah, he killed it.
B
I don't really know his name.
A
He's watching this like, God damn it. He's a huge fan of so True. He's like, fuck. Throws his popcorn at the tv.
B
It's a great movie, though. You have to watch it. It has everything. It has romance. It has great. Has that one really good song.
A
Jonathan Shakes. Shake. Is that who you're thinking of?
B
How do you even say your name, dog?
A
Jonathan Demi.
B
Also Jonathan, spelled with an H. Paul Feig plays a.
A
Is that the dad from Girls?
B
Hang on.
A
Damn. This is a cast.
B
Yeah.
A
Oh, my God. Giovanni Ribisi. Oh, wow. What a cast. This is a hell. Clint Howard's in this thing. Good. Nine good.
B
Takes place in the 60s. You got Charlize Theron in there? Yeah, you gotta watch the director's cut.
A
Damn, I gotta get into it. So that's your favorite movie, huh?
B
Yeah.
A
Wow.
B
It's just so funny and wholesome and charming and.
A
What do you think of Tom Hanks? Is he as wholesome as we believe?
B
Cut the cameras.
A
What do you make of this Tom, fellas? He the guy behind the scenes. You know, stuff. You remember when him and Rita got Covid. That shook the world.
B
It did. They were the first people to ever get Covid. Shocked the world in Australia, if I'm not mistaken.
A
We said not America's first. First. Yeah.
B
That's when, like, people started taking it seriously. Yeah, but they were fine.
A
They were totally fine. And they're gonna be fine.
B
What do you think of Tom Hanks?
A
Good guy. Good guy. I think.
B
Love him.
A
Love him. There's a Tom Hanks. Has a gun to my head off. No. I imagine if I ever found out that Tom Hanks wasn't what we believe him to be, I would just be so heartbroken.
B
It just seems more likely that he's. That he's not. No, no, no. That he's not what we think he is. Don't you think? Geez, you think everyone it.
A
That sucks. Well, I also hate, though, that we've made him be something.
B
Yeah.
A
We make him be Tom Hanks.
B
Yeah.
A
I think maybe even want to be Tom Hanks.
B
He does not want to have this. He's like, no, I'm kind of an asshole.
A
I'm like a regular guy. Yeah.
B
Do you have a Tom Hanks impression?
A
Oh, you know.
B
Oh, I heard it.
A
Woody or something like that. Maybe.
B
Will you do your Margot Martindale impression for us? It's my favorite thing about.
A
Well, you love two impressions of mine, Katie and I. A big part of Katie And I's friendship is doing. Sending each other voice memos in character.
B
You send them to me and then I try to do them and I get nervous and I don't.
A
Well, she wants me to send her voice notes. I'm happy to send her voice notes. Honey, you made a big mistake. That's Margot Martin.
B
You make me laugh.
A
If I had on a big wig, you could see it. She's a floozy. She always, like, carries that.
B
I have a video of you in London where you're like, you're in my room and you're looking outside out the window and you're like, I want to go outside, but I don't want to be hot.
A
It's too damn hot out there.
B
I don't want to be hot in it.
A
My other favorite bit is I'll send Austin, Katie, like a seven minute voice memo. Just being like, just being like, apropos of nothing. We won't be talking, right? And I'll be like, that's the important one. 1994, when I moved to Los Angeles and I was having lunch at, I guess it was the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. And of course, my compatriot Katie Delaney was there and she was writing a script for the television program Rick and Morty. And I'll just, I'll do this for like 7 minutes.
B
The thing you always add. Did you just say. You always say I was living in Los Angeles at the time? Just like, you know you are. And it's true. You are living all over the place at the time.
A
And, you know, all the stars were out as it were, and. And I'll just do that for so long and I'll just get back a voice note. A three second voice note from Katie going, hat.
B
No, it's. I. I have them all saved, but also, they got to fix this. Saving the, the voice memo. Thank you.
A
They don't even give me the option.
B
They won't.
A
They don't give me keep all the time.
B
Keep doesn't pop up right away, so you got to just stare at it until keep pops up. But then after you've kept it, where does it go? You just have to scroll, scroll, scroll forever until you find it. You go into a folder and then you can listen to all of them. Yeah, they don't do that. So if I want to find your voice memos from four years ago, it's crazy. Not gonna happen.
A
What's the mo. Do you have any voicemails or voice memos saved on your phone that you think about a lot I have a sad one. I want my. My dad. My dad left me a voicemail, like, 14 hours before he died, we think. We don't for sure know when he died.
B
What'd he say?
A
He was just like. It's kind of funny, but he was like. He was like, hey, buddy. Just wanted to be the one to tell you I was in the hospital. I don't think anything's wrong, but.
B
Damn.
A
He was like, yeah, I guess I got emphysema. I thought I quit smoking soon enough, but I guess not. Anyway, I'll be fine. I love you. And it's just like. But it's sad, of course, because, you know, he goes on to die pretty quick.
B
But do you listen to it?
A
I've listened to it probably like, a handful of times. Yeah, he died. I listened to it a couple times when I was writing the script about him, and I've listened to it a couple times since then. Just, like, I got a new phone and I listened to it one time before I switched phones just to make sure that if anything were to happen for any reason, that I would have heard it, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
And then it went over, so it was fine. So. But, yeah, I listen to it sometimes. Yeah, it's really sweet. I'm really glad I have it. Yeah, I'm really glad I had the thought to save it.
B
Yeah. I have a bunch of my nana's voicemails from before she died. I don't really listen to them ever, but they're there.
A
Yeah. Well, it's a weird. Like, when in the middle of a day, are you gonna sit down and be like, all right now to my dead dad's voice?
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. It's a weird thing to conjure up, but I have some funny ones, too, I'm sure. But that's the one, I think.
B
But you don't know because there's nowhere to go. No localized place on your phone. A folder to go to this. Tim Cook. Tim Cook.
A
That's okay.
B
Listen to me, sir. Get it done.
A
Tim. Tim apple cook.
B
Mr. Tim. Mr. Apple. Hey, can I ask you how you feel being perceived in this way by so many people all the time.
A
I wonder if anyone wants to hear it, but, yes, you can. I've talked about it plenty on this show. I think I feel insane.
B
I feel insane.
A
It feels insane to be perceived.
B
You're making me feel very comfortable. I feel good. But then when I start to think about, like, people will watch this conversation between the two of us and form opinions about me.
A
Yeah. I think they'll form nicely.
B
I don't think I'm interested.
A
I think, yeah, it's tough. It's tough being a publicly commented on entity of any size or regard and you've experienced that, but like a little bit.
B
Not nearly as much as you.
A
It's a weird. It's weird. It's weird.
B
What is the percentage? Do you have like a lot of negative stuff coming at you?
A
Virginia would be the better person to ask because she runs.
B
You delete them.
A
She deletes them.
B
Good. Okay.
A
Yeah.
B
When was it a lot? I think earlier when the podcast was newer. Who the is this guy?
A
Yeah, I. I don't. I try not to read too much of it. I try not to have. I've described it as a portal to the soul Z way. And I talked about this recently where I'm like, if you let the good end, you have to let the bad end as well. And I just assume leave it out altogether and I'll just take my, my notes about me from the people who actually know me and love me. I think that'll be a perfectly fine way to do it. And it's cool that strangers like my work. I hope that people laugh.
B
Yeah.
A
I've been doing a lot of press for the HBO special this morning. I did like four phone interviews in a row and I was reflecting a little bit on like, you know, they're like, what do you want people to get from the special? I'm like, I just want people to laugh. Yeah, I would love to make people laugh. And after that, whether you think I'm a good person or you have a bad person or you think I'm fucking annoying or you think I'm the coolest or you want to be my friend or you want me to die or whatever that none of that is my business business. I hope you laugh. And if you don't, please keep it to yourself. And I'm out of it. You know what I mean? I'm just. Stay out of it.
B
Extremely evolved of you.
A
Thanks, dude. I've had. I'm. I feel very lucky that it's gone slowly, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
I have not really had overnight success well earned.
B
I don't mean overnight. Sounds like you haven't earned it and it's just like happened in front of you. Yeah, I think it's happened quickly, as it should.
A
Things are escalating very quickly right now.
B
But.
A
I think I've had a long, like I had a moderate sized Twitter following many years ago and that was the beginning of it, you know, and then I Was I was in this thing or this thing, and I had this job and this exposure to the Internet, and I think I've. I've gotten to, like, dip my toes a little bit along the way.
B
Yeah.
A
If what I feel like has happened is that I have walked slowly into a body of water up to my knees, and then I, in the last two years, fell off a ledge, and now I'm fully submerged in it, but I got to work slowly, at least. And they're sharks, and. And they're in their executives. They're sharks, and they always take a bite. Yeah. I did learn from a friend yesterday that she. She. She knows an entertainment exec who's using chat GBT to give notes on scripts.
B
Shut the up.
A
Yeah. And that made me. I was like, please give me their name. I want.
B
Yeah. Did you get the name?
A
No, but I was like. I was like, please tell me so I can never work with that person. I. That makes me sick. And she wouldn't tell me because she a good friend to her friend. But I was like, that is. That is. If you are an entertainment exec and you are using chat GPT for anything, you. You must quit and go do something else. I'm begging you to get out of this. This industry is already so fraught. I am begging you to go do something else. You clearly don't care about this.
B
Well, what part of the job do you think that, like, they just like going to dinner? Like, they like.
A
Like, what do you like about this if you're not doing that?
B
Yeah. Reading scripts is probably, like, the most fun they could possibly have doing their job.
A
No. I imagine that what a lot of people like about this work is adjacency to power and relevance.
B
Right.
A
Yeah.
B
Going to dinner.
A
Going to dinner with freaking Charlize Theron or something like that.
B
We love her. I would love to go to dinner with her.
A
Freaking Charlize Theron or something like that. That sounds lovely.
B
Matt Rife.
A
Matt Rife.
B
Oh, I had a dinner with Matt Rife.
A
I was at dinner with Matt Rife, and I believe. Who was it that joined? There's Charlie there. And then, of course, we were at San Vicente Bungalows in Los Angeles. Katie popped by. She was doing sleight of hand magic for the table.
B
Damn. Hell, yeah.
A
Someone put me in a Truman Capote. Funny biopic. We did Capote. Serious. Let's do the silly one.
B
I'll start writing it today.
A
You know, Truman Capote was going to drag bars in Kansas City.
B
Cool.
A
Back in the day. Yeah. He was he was. When he was writing In Cold Blood, he would go into Kansas City and go to the drag shows.
B
Just hang.
A
Yeah. And you'd be like, I'm doing your dance or whatever, you know? Yeah.
B
So demanding.
A
Yeah. Dance for me. Katie, time for a segment. You know what it is. Oh, you've seen the show.
B
I have.
A
Okay.
B
Every week. No, I do know what it is. Are you okay? Just doing physical bits.
A
Katie, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think that what I just said is true or false.
B
Yeah.
A
If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.
B
Really?
A
Yes, really.
B
Okay.
A
That's cab fare. Okay. Ready?
B
Yeah.
A
Quick as you can. World of Warcraft debuted in 1999.
B
True.
A
False. 2004. Giraffes are excellent swimmers.
B
False.
A
False. They cannot swim. Florida has a larger population than Greece.
B
True.
A
True. Angelina Jolie is six foot tall.
B
False.
A
False. She's five seven. The current president of St. Michael's College is William Eck.
B
That's where I went to college. False.
A
False. Richard Plum. A group of jellyfish is called a school.
B
False.
A
False. It's a smack Fall River, Massachusetts. Its town motto is we'll try.
B
True.
A
True. There are more Taco Bells in America than subways.
B
More Taco Bells than Subways. True.
A
False. No word in the English language rhymes with month.
B
False.
A
True. In South Korea, a baby is considered one year old at birth.
B
True.
A
True. Skunks are marsupials.
B
True.
A
False. Fuck. There are no Apple stores in Arkansas.
B
True.
A
False.
B
Fuck.
A
There's one in Little Rock, darlin'. Jennifer Coolidge was born in Boston.
B
True.
A
True. Glee never won an Emmy.
B
False.
A
False. At 1 6, a pigeon's feathers are heavier than its bones.
B
True.
A
True. How'd she do? 10. Yeah.
B
Where's my $50?
A
That's. Well, I'll talk about it.
B
Venmo Cash.
A
We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it off camera. Shoot. Okay. So what else was I gonna ask you, Katie?
B
Yeah.
A
You know what? I asked a friend the other day, and it was really lovely. And. We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. It depends. On what. What the answer it brings up. I was at dinner with a friend. I was at dinner with a friend, and I asked, like, who's someone that you haven't. That you don't talk to much anymore, that you just really love from afar, like somebody that you're like, oh, we haven't talked in a While. But I really love that person and I'm wishing them well. You genuinely. Yes. We don't.
B
We don't talk a ton.
A
We're bad at it.
B
But you're just like doing so great out there. And I just. It feels like we talk a lot because I'm just so engage with your socials.
A
Your socials.
B
I'm just. I'm just all over the socials. I'm commenting.
A
I'm just watching your presence.
B
So. Yeah, you.
A
That's sweet.
B
I like most of my friends, I have a lot of, like, day to day, like, see them all the time, multiple times a week. Friends. Those are like my friends.
A
Yeah.
B
I have many friends that I hope are doing well. None are coming to mind right now.
A
Yeah, I'm not thinking about them.
B
No.
A
Yeah. I don't know. I just thought it was kind of interesting. It is sweet that you say me, though. I do feel that way about you. I'm. I'm regularly okay at keeping in touch. Okay. To bad. And this year have been bad.
B
I'm not great at it either, though. And I think you're the type of friend that when I see you, we're just like back to. It's not like, oh, like, yeah, we're not gonna remember what each other is like if we don't talk every couple weeks or something like that. Like, we'll just get together. When we get together.
A
You're in my dreams.
B
Oh.
A
You're in my dreams and my prayers.
B
Oh, my God, baby. What are you praying for? For me.
A
For you?
B
Yeah. What do you want for me?
A
The same thing I want for all peoples. Peace, peace, happiness, prosperity, love, warmth, connection. Connection. Above all, connection is God. I would love to see you connect with others. Me, the universe, yourself.
B
I think I'm doing it. Yeah, because you've been praying.
A
I think you're connecting. I've been praying. I pray for your. I pray for your uprising.
B
Great.
A
I do not pray for. I do not pray for your downfall.
B
Thank you so much. Someone's praying for it.
A
I pray on your rise.
B
Thank you so much.
A
I pray on your escalation.
B
I don't pray, but if I did, you don't need my prayers. You're doing so good.
A
You pray, Katie, whether you know it or not.
B
I. I pray within my canvas and a paintbrush.
A
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're praying. You know what? It was a prayer that you walked in here today. Hey.
B
It's an answer to a prayer.
A
God is good. All the time. All the time.
B
Let the church say amen.
A
Amen. Well, Katie.
B
It was.
A
I became Christian in 2025 after doing a podcast recording with Katie Delaney. She was doing sleight of hand magic. Katie, I love you so much.
B
I love you.
A
Is there anything you want to tell the people about? Anything you want to plug?
B
Oh, my God. Don't follow me on Twitter. That's over.
A
Get off there.
B
Yeah, hit me on Instagram. Grab my substack, which I'm starting. I'm trying to move.
A
Shady new substack. Yeah, let's go.
B
We're trying to move from Twitter over to substack. Yeah, I really want to work with more like. This is so stupid.
A
No, it's not.
B
Work with more long form writing.
A
Hello.
B
I haven't written anything longer than a tweet. Well, I write for my job, but I want to explore the thoughts in a more long form way. I'll be sharing my. I paint. I'll. I'll share my paintings and my ceramics and my getting into quilting. It's gonna be like a hobbyist Fun thoughts, getting through the horrible times sort of sub stack, I think, is what I'm looking to do.
A
I love it. I love your fun thoughts. I have one of your gorgeous paintings hanging in my apartment.
B
Which one? Oh, you have the. The little cottages with the. With the station wagon in front of the. You have that one, right? Yeah.
A
Yes. Yeah. And I love that one. Well, we just love you. Thanks for being here.
B
I love you so much. Thank you.
A
That was a Hitgum podcast.
B
I'm Tig Notaro. I'm Mae Martin. And I'm Fortune Feimster. And together we're Handsome. What is Handsome? Well, it's a state of mind. It's how you feel. It's whatever you want it to be. Handsome is also a podcast hosted by us three stand up comedians you may have seen on your tv. We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry. Every episode, we answer a question from a celebrity friend. People like Sarah Silverman.
A
It's Stephen Colbert.
B
It's Reese Witherspoon. My name is Mindy Kaling. Hello, Handsome Podcast.
A
It's Jen Aniston Here, you gorgeous w.
B
So if you're looking for a positive, joyful show guaranteed to make you giggle, check out Handsome. Jump right in with whatever episode tickles your fancy. Or start from the very first episode. Listen to Handsome on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. And don't forget, keep it handsome. Hi, I'm Ilana Hope Levinson. And I'm Dan o'.
A
Sullivan.
B
And this is the Outfit, the new podcast from Higher Ground and Headgum.
A
You know, we're two journalists who are slightly obsessed with with the mob and organized crime and other nefarious stuff like that.
B
Every week we're going to bring you a story about a mobster. Some you've heard of, some you definitely haven't. But all of them are going to help explain why America is like this.
A
See, the mob explains all sorts of things, from milk expiration dates to why we got into Cuba to Las Vegas gay bars. Who knew? Who knew the mob's involved?
B
All that and more. Subscribe to the app Outfit wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday.
Episode: Caitie Delaney Slept in a Coffin
Date: September 18, 2025
Host: Caleb Hearon
Guest: Caitie Delaney
Network: Headgum
In this episode, comedian and writer Caitie Delaney joins host Caleb Hearon for a laughter-filled and deeply honest conversation. True to the podcast's ethos—“getting into it and kind of identifying what’s really real”—the pair reminisce about chaotic travel stories, the bizarre glory of reality TV, and the shifting landscape of Hollywood careers, plus they trade rich opinions on AI, share tales from their Twitter heydays, and get vulnerable about creativity, friendship, and legacy. The candid banter oscillates between silly and sincere, exemplifying both hosts’ comedic chemistry and emotional intelligence.
[00:19 - 01:24] Caleb starts off with a running joke about the show’s “theme”—that he’d make a beautiful domestic life with most women guests, but especially Caitie:
“You and I would have a beautiful life together...live in a cottage...cardigans with big wooden buttons...” (A, 00:31)
They soak in this fantasy of a cozy, dog-filled East Coast cottage, then recall actually living together briefly during a chaotic three-week Airbnb stay in London.
“She got her lick in with the little Airbnb hotel message, which was so cunt and fierce of her, by the way. And I love a diva, but I’m getting my 30 euro.” (A, 04:23)
[12:29 - 16:57]
“It was that feeling—like, oh, shit, I’m fucked. And I rolled out and I hit the ground. And Jared Leto made a lot of fun of me for that...” (B, 16:56)
Both reflect on early-2010s LA, with wild, random opportunity (“falling into Jared Leto’s house”), unpaid labor, and a sense of reckless pre-social media freedom:
“People were less inhibited because they felt less watched.” (A, 13:44)
“All of a sudden you’re like, oh, my thing doesn’t fit into your deal anymore.” (A, 25:50)
“Fuck family friendly, family friendly media. I’m just going to say it. Fuck that shit.” (A, 26:24)
“He just DM’d me...‘You’re so funny. I love Rick and Morty. Come to the studio.’” (B, 32:20)
“When I see you, we’re just like back to… we’ll just get together. When we get together.” (B, 62:46)
[36:52 - 43:59]
“If you use ChatGPT, you are probably the worst imaginable person. You do not believe in the future of humanity…there is no good use for it. Every time you use it, a bottle of water is wasted...” (B, 37:00 & 38:32)
“Pixar…has been humanizing robots so that when they are taking our jobs, we're like, ‘that delivery robot is so cute.’” (B, 40:43)
Caleb’s addendum:
“People with email jobs, you're fine…People with computer jobs acting like they are going to war. You have the easiest existence in the history of the world.” (A, 39:08)
“If you let the good in, you have to let the bad in as well…I’ll just take my notes about me from the people who actually know me and love me.” (A, 55:07)
On Airbnb injustice:
“I was like, yo. And then she…it was a whole thing to get extra keys… I messaged her back and said, at the end of the day...I subtracted the lamp cost. I won’t actually be sending you money for the lamp. I subtracted it from what you charged us for the sheets. You owe us €30.” (A, 03:31–04:23)
On the coffin bunk:
“I fell out of my coffin once. First night, I woke up… and I was like, oh, I’m being buried alive. And I rolled out and hit the ground. Jared Leto made a lot of fun of me for that…” (B, 16:35–17:08)
On corporate trends:
“The weirdest thing, especially when executives… tell you, ‘we’re really looking for our Ted Lasso.’ By the time you produce it, no one fucking wants to see a Ted Lasso anymore.” (B, 25:57–26:16)
On ChatGPT use:
“If you use ChatGPT, you are probably the worst imaginable person.…That thing…wastes fresh water…We're running out of that imminently.” (B, 37:00–38:32)
On delivery robots (“clankers”) and robot-humanization:
“Pixar and everyone…humanizing robots so that when we got to this point where they are taking our jobs, we’re like, oh my God, that delivery robot is so cute.” (B, 40:43)
On being perceived:
“If you let the good in, you have to let the bad in as well…I’ll just take my notes about me from the people who actually know me and love me.” (A, 55:07)
On saving voicemails from loved ones:
“When in the middle of a day, are you gonna sit down and be like, all right, now to my dead dad’s voice?” (A, 54:30)
On friendship and connection:
“Connection is God. I would love to see you connect with others. Me, the universe, yourself.” (A, 63:03)
The episode is a seamless blend of silly and sincere—irreverent, quick-witted, but always returning to real reflections on modern life, creative work, and what it means to be “getting through the horrible times.” Both hosts let their friendship and sharp comic sensibilities shine, while never shying away from critique, vulnerability, or real affection.
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(Note: All ad reads, intro, outro, and promo sections have been omitted for clarity and focus on original content.)