A (2:10)

You did drink back then? I did. I wish I would have known you even then. I didn't know you then.

B (2:14)

Well, you know what? Actually, before the last episode, we had. I had one drink, which now I didn't. I had a ton of coffee. So me looking at your camera, I can't see me at all.

A (2:20)

You had a drink before the last episode?

B (2:22)

Not to, like, not. I'm like. I'm like. I was. I'm like. I'm like. I was terrified.

A (2:27)

No, that's a crazy reveal. That was nuts. You passed that off so casually, like, before the last time. You've never told me that.

B (2:34)

Well, because I didn't do it for the episode. I was out with friends and they were having, like, five drinks, and I sat and didn't have one for a long time. And then finally I was like, I'll have one. And then, you know, I watched the episode. You know, I say the HPV thing, everyone's mad at me about the washout, and I was like, well, the drink probably did that.

A (2:48)

I don't think the drink did that.

B (2:50)

You're right. That was just me.

A (2:52)

It's so funny for you to be like, yeah, before I did this last time, of course I had a couple shots.

B (2:57)

I'm like, the last episode, I had a vodka tampon in. I don't know. No, I wouldn't do that.

A (3:02)

No. I'm happy with your drinking these days.

B (3:04)

Thank you. I'm happy with yours.

A (3:05)

Thank you. We both don't.

B (3:06)

We don't. Yeah. Well, I don't want to lie to the public. Since February, I've had four drinks, but it's all been one that night. Yeah, one. One at a time.

A (3:16)

Person who definitely doesn't have a drinking problem. Since February, I've had four, and they've.

B (3:21)

Been February, I've had four. And I was on my best behav. I really was. Well, it's one of those things where, like, God, sometimes I'm in a room that is so fudgeing, like, loud and overwhelming. And it's like, on those nights will be the ones where I'm like, oh, I really want to stay, but it would just help a little bit. And I try everything else. But then occasionally, yeah, I've had one. And then it'll be like, normally I'm like, this doesn't really do much. And that's why I continue to not do it. You know, like, it doesn't really change very much. But I don't know, I think sometimes, you know, this about me. I'll go, like, all or nothing a lot. Like, I'll be like, I must be done, and that will solve it all. And so I think I'm letting myself be like, hey, no one called you an alcoholic. You called your cell phone because you want to solve some stuff, and then you stop drinking and, like, made a whole thing. I went to an AA meeting and I was like, I don't have this.

A (4:07)

But it was a really funny couple of weeks in our friendship for everybody when. When Homestead Home started sitting people down and being like, obviously we've all been dying to talk about a drinking problem. We all the time, we're kind of like, no, we thought you were having a good time. But.

B (4:22)

Well, I mean, I think that it's really. It would be so amazing to find, like, the one thing that would, like, you know, f. God. And it. I thought that. I mean. And it has, you know, it has helped. I do think it has helped my depression. Not drinking less has helped my depression. But, yeah, I wasn't a full blown alcoholic. It was funny what I'll say about the meetings, which I know you're not supposed to talk about, but it's a horny environment, you know, because the alcohol's not in there. People were staring me down. You know what I mean? And it was like. I was like, oh, they're like, you know, people are wanting to get to something else pretty quick, addiction wise. What do you know what I mean?

A (4:59)

I mean, what are you saying? People are staring you down?

B (5:02)

Like, it felt like if I linger. It felt like if I lingered eye contact with someone long enough, we could fuck right after. Because it was like, hey, you know what we won't be doing after this? Going to the bar.

A (5:09)

But we could go home.

B (5:11)

Yeah. Come to my place, you know, that's interesting.

A (5:13)

I've heard this, I guess, but I didn't. I. Staring you down feels so intense.

B (5:16)

Well, staring me down, I mean, it was one or two. It looks like I walk in, everyone's like. Everyone's like, I'll do you tonight. No, it wasn't like that. It just, like, it made. It made sense to me that I was like, yeah, you would shift. And that's something else I felt was. I was like, okay, right when I stopped drinking. Actually, someone did say something interesting to me after because I was like, I don't know if I have this. And he was like, yeah, but you smoke weed a lot, right? And I was like, hey, don't be rude about that. I was like, I do. And he was like, well, when I stopped drinking at first, well, I would smoke weed instead. But then Right when I quit weed, like I have to drink again. So it's one of those things where like, and that did kind of call me out in a sense of like, I do smoke weed most nights and I'm like, if I did quit weed, I wonder if I would start to drink more. Like, I definitely am someone who like has a vice. I just think I'm pretty healthy with them now. But you know, it'd be cool if someday I could lose them all. Yeah. What's yours? What's your vice?

A (6:07)

My advice? Yeah, weed and food. Food is the most conscious choice that I make where I'm like, I'm trying to get better at this, but I, because I'll do it in times that are inopportune. Like, I'll, to me, I'm like, I don't drink. I, I, I haven't drank at this point in years. I don't really drink. I don't do any hard drugs. I didn't smoke weed until I was like 27. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't really do like crazy different 27 club, right? Hey, come on. It's okay. That was beautiful.

B (6:36)

I was starting to weed at 27.

A (6:37)

Choose to live, actually, sorry, I'm choosing to live after 27. But yeah, so I'm like, I'll eat, I'll eat garbage and be like, you shouldn't be eating this garbage. But it is fun. But then sometimes you do it and it's like, it's 2:00am why are you ordering Taco Bell? You know you're going to feel like shit when you have to get up.

B (6:51)

At 8am the other night I had one big time where I was like, I really could have gone to bed and I ordered food just because I was like, it just is like a comfort. That's the thing. It's like the same as weed. It's like I want something that's cozy and it's like I feel better than when I drink, that's for sure. But yeah, I had like order from, I mean when the place is called something like Munchy Funchy or something, you know what I mean?

A (7:07)

Those doordash names get dark quick.

B (7:09)

Yeah, right, right. When it's a bitch.

A (7:11)

Don't grill my cheese. And I'm on there high as a kite, alone on my couch.

B (7:17)

Like, I'm like, you ready to fuck up your life? I'm like, order. Like it really is always really nasty names. For real?

A (7:23)

Yeah, it's like Slutty Wings and Fucked Up Tots.

B (7:26)

Literally, it's like, feel shitty. I'm like.

A (7:28)

I'm like, add to cart, add to cart. I know, and I do. And then I eat it.

B (7:32)

Well, the other night, one of the items looked so nasty that I was like, that's helpful. So I didn't do all of it, but yeah, I had some, like, you know, corn bites or something. And you can tell when the late night ones, they're not making it. They're not. The chef doesn't have passion to it. They're putting that shit in a microwave.

A (7:45)

It's a guy microwaving it in his house.

B (7:47)

Yeah, yeah.

A (7:47)

It's a ghost kitchen.

B (7:49)

It's like our. It's like a. A comedian we're friends with.

A (7:51)

Yeah.

B (7:51)

It's like a side hustle for real.

A (7:52)

I know that I'm never going to, like, truly lose a bunch of weight because most people who do, they have, like a lowest of low moment, and I've had one so many times and. And just blown right past it. I got tricked. I got tricked once. I got tricked once on doordash into ordering Red Lobster. And when it came, it came nothing like Red Lobster. Why would you even order that? I was just high. I was enjoying the idea of it. It was just. And then I look it up. Some guy at his house. It was like a ghost kitchen on Yelp.

B (8:24)

No, no, no.

A (8:24)

It was a guy who just somehow they can make it look like Red Lobster sometimes.

B (8:28)

God. It was a lobster. It was a lobster. But it was called, like, funky chunky or something.

A (8:32)

Dude, it was called Red Lobster. I'm telling you. They do this with Cracker Barrel to. It'd be like Cracker Barrel Kitchen, which is not for me, but other people. You're one of my thin friends that's like the most annoyingly supportive of fat people. Actually, I'm like, one of the thin.

B (8:44)

Friends who's like the anti fat bias.

A (8:45)

Like, yeah, you're like, I'm just having, like, a regular Tuesday. And you're like, the way we treat fat people. Sick. And I'm like, wait, it's lunch. You know what I mean?

B (8:54)

I really mean it. I mean, it just. Well, honestly, I grew up with. My mom was fat, and it was like a thing that it's like, I remember so much, like, it being this thing that made her feel bad. Not because my mom was, like, stunning, and I was always like, why is my mom so beautiful and hating herself? And I was like, oh, because people are, like, being horrible to her.

A (9:10)

Yeah.

B (9:11)

And so then it made me like. I remember one Time we were playing this game growing up in, it was like, imagine if. And we're with her, our extended family, and someone. There was a joke about, like, blimp or something. Like a blimp. And everyone, like, you have to say, like, who's the most? Like this or whatever. And everyone writes a name at the table, and it was like, who's the most? Like a blimp. And everyone put my mom's name, and it was like. They all kind of laughed. Right. Okay. Whatever. They all. They all kind of laughed. It's horrible. Yeah. No, Well, I. I was, like, 11, and I started sobbing, and I was like, you guys are cruel. And my mom was like, it's okay, Chelsea. It's okay. And, like, it was one of those things where I was like. I did get really passionate about it. It pissed me off. You're like. You're like, I would have voted Kathy for blimp.

A (9:46)

No, I wouldn't have put Kathy as blimp. But I'm telling you right now, no. If I was in the game and everyone wrote blimp for Caleb, I would laugh. No, I would laugh.

B (9:55)

Oh, well, first off, it's like, who the fuck wrote blimp? It's like, the writers of this are like, that bitch is going down. You know what I mean?

A (10:01)

Like, ruined. Ruin some woman's Thanksgiving, Literally.

B (10:03)

What the hell? No, but I just remember it always did make me mad because my mom was like, honestly, like, kind of the most stunning in the family. So it just, like, did it? Yeah, it made me really. And it also ruined a chunk of my life. It ruined, like, three really good years of my life that I had eating disorder. That was. I was so boring and disgusting during those years. And, yeah, I just think it's, like, taking some of our best. Yeah, it also, like, I mean, whatever. Look, you get me started. You're like, she's a thin friend who's annoying about it. I'm like, don't get me started.

A (10:28)

You're like, watch me prove it.

B (10:30)

I mean, it just is like, I think that the main thing that we're mad at is all the same, which is, like, billionaires and stuff. And it's like, a lot of this. The shame that is around weight stuff for me, is really just tied to money. Like, once I learned that, that was this big freedom of, like, when I learned, like, weight watchers didn't start their kid program until they were going bankrupt, that was, like, a big freedom for me because growing up, like, yeah, I was being put on diets Left and right and stuff like that.

A (10:51)

Also that you said. I think we're all actually mad at billionaires. I wish that were true. I actually wish we could get more people mad at billionaires. I will never in a million years understand why so many people who should be mad at billionaires the way that some of us righteously are.

B (11:05)

Yeah.

A (11:06)

Are still doing this fucking. Like, they're, like, going off about these stupid. Like, they're like, oh, I don't want. You should have to have the right papers to run a taco stand in my city. And you shouldn't. They shouldn't have male cheerleaders at the football games. Well, you're so fudgeing far off track, dude. It's crazy.

B (11:20)

I agree. No, I think that that is the thing that, like, makes me the most mad is that I'm like, I know more people actually don't want to just, like, people don't want to just, like, have sex or be friends with, like, really frail people. I know that that's not reality, but when. Now it's tied to money. That's why most people I know are even engaging in it. Like, people I know who are engaging in weight loss who, like, don't want to engage in weight loss are doing it only because they're like, I. This will help me make more money. I'm like, what a nightmare.

A (11:44)

Yeah, and it's true.

B (11:46)

And it's true.

A (11:47)

Yeah, and it's true.

B (11:48)

And it's true. Have you. Did you ever do a crazy diet that was, like, so stupid?

A (11:53)

No, I'm. I've never. I'm like, really? I know that I'm not cut out for trying to lose weight because I've never done, like, a crazy diet. I've done, like, I've done yo yo diets, but nothing insane.

B (12:01)

Like, I'm so jealous of that.

A (12:03)

Honestly, I can't even get to the point where, like. Like, I'm not even kidding. There was a time, like, two years ago when I real. I know that I would get more work if I was thinner. Like, that's just a reality. And there was a time, like, two years ago when I really considered it. And, like, the second time I was supposed to go to the gym and have a really hard workout, I was like, I got distracted thinking about how I was going to talk about it when I lost all the weight and then I didn't go to the gym. I was like, when I lose the weight, I'm gonna. Like, really? This is how I'm gonna talk about it?

B (12:32)

And did you feel.

A (12:33)

Next thing, I woke up and I had missed the gym. So it's like this. The extreme weight loss thing is like, not for me. It's never coming for me.

B (12:42)

Wait, did you. Did you. Were you kind of, like, sad when you thought about talking about it? Like, you're like, my fans are gonna be, like, kind of, like, sad that I did this?

A (12:49)

No, I just think that when people lose a bunch of weight who were fat, they often change on a dime and go to this very. Like, a lot of people have a. Like a fascistic cop within them that will come out whenever the time is right.

B (12:59)

Yeah.

A (13:00)

And a lot of people who lose a bunch of weight access that part quickly where they're like, I was miserable. It's disgusting what I was promoting.

B (13:06)

And it's like. And I know I'll never go back.

A (13:08)

Yeah. And it's like, no, actually, I think you were quite happy. And then you made a choice to lose a bunch of weight, and that's it. So for me, I'm like. When I say how I would talk about it is I just don't think I would talk about it. And the reason I go is like, okay, but you were wanted to talk about your body when you were fat, so then if you were thin, you wouldn't want to talk about it. Why is that? And I'm like, oh, I actually know why. The reason is because it's interesting to talk about being fat in a society that hates fat people. So I find it compelling to talk about my weight in my body right now. If I were for some reason to lose a bunch of weight, if a medical reason came up that I needed to, or if anything like that were to happen, which I don't currently naturally.

B (13:41)

Lose some weight, and then everyone's like, good job. And it's like, shut the fuck up.

A (13:44)

If that were to happen, I would just not talk about it or engage with discussion about it because I don't view it as an accomplishment. And I. Then it wouldn't be interesting because then you're talking about a body that is closer to or in. In alignment with the beauty standard and the. So then it's like, why would I talk about that?

B (14:00)

Right?

A (14:01)

Do you know what I mean? It's not interesting now.

B (14:02)

Yeah, I mean, I really understand. I mean, I feel like the reason that I would ever talk about, like, you know, any type of womanhood on stage is oftentimes related to, like, oppression, you know, like, it wouldn't come up as much. I feel like if it wasn't like, Scary to live as a woman more, you know?

A (14:17)

Yeah. I think what happens is so many people, so many people do, so many people that are fat and then lose a bunch of weight, especially in the public eye. They have, they do have things that they should have fixed about themselves that weren't weight related. And then when they lose the weight, they feel all this gratitude and validation and so they want to honor it and they want to be like, thank you for the validation. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And, and it's like, actually what you should do with that validation is laugh at it because you don't deserve it. It's silly. It's silly to get validation for losing weight. I'm sorry, it is. Oh, I mean, it's like, whatever. That doesn't matter to me.

B (14:48)

It actually matters in a way that's like, it's really upsetting. And what I'll say is like, I like, I've lost weight for reasons that are like, when I stopped drinking as much, I like, lost some weight and I, yeah. Wasn't trying to. And then like, it makes it. I think it's the darkest part. It makes me. I think if it should make you feel anything, it should be like devastating. And I don't like those people anymore. Like when someone compliments me on a weight loss and I'd never have said anywhere publicly that I like, that's a goal of mine or something, I like, like you less immediately.

A (15:13)

See, and that's the difference too is like, I feel like when that happened for you, I remember us talking about, we were kind of having two conversations at once where you were like, people that aren't close to me are complimenting my weight loss and it's making me.

B (15:23)

Ill, it's making me really depressed.

A (15:24)

And then I was like, yes, also I would love to check in on your weight loss because I know you and know that you're not trying and do have a passive eating disorders, et cetera. And so it's different when, if I were to lose a bunch of weight, I would expect the people close to me to be like, hey, no worries, but is there anything we need to talk about?

B (15:40)

That's exactly what I mean, 100%. And I think a lot of people don't feel comfortable asking, are you okay? Because they think that that could be like a Triggering. Triggering or something. And what I would say, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I say if a friend is losing weight at a. And you notice when you are one on one, like have a check in. In that Way, I would say, yeah, I've. I've had a check ins with friends and they're like, no one has brought this up at all yet.

A (16:03)

Yeah.

B (16:03)

And then they'll be like, I. Like I'm not okay at all. Like, I'm not eating, you know, and oftentimes it doesn't have to do with trying to lose weight. I'll have to do like a death or, you know, a breakup or something like that.

A (16:12)

Yeah. My favorite thing that you do. One of. One of my favorite things that you do. There's a long list. Sometimes if there's something in a group of friends that desperately needs to be said, completely wrong place, wrong time. Wrong place, wrong time, homes. Holmes just in the group will go like, you have an eating disorder. Like, dinner, six people. Not the right time, not the right place.

B (16:37)

Well, you know what? And I say, that is really true. That is so true to me.

A (16:41)

Holmes will be like, you're being weird to everyone in the friend group lately because of your dad.

B (16:45)

I'll be like, people think you're mean. Everyone's scared to say it.

A (16:47)

It'll be 100 true. And everyone else in the friend group will be like, holmes, God damn it.

B (16:51)

Yeah. And then they'll be. I'll be like, later. I'll be like, are you proud of me? And they'll be like, it was really the wrong place. This happened the other day, actually. I literally ran into someone I hadn't seen for a long time. And I was like, my friend is dating your ex. And everyone was like, hey, like. But I was like, that's how. I know. That's how I thought of her or whatever. And anyway, she handled it really well. But my friend after was like.

A (17:14)

I.

B (17:14)

Feel like it should make people feel safe. Like, I'm not gonna lie to you.

A (17:16)

Yeah, I feel that you won't lie to me.

B (17:18)

Do you. Do you feel safe around me? I guess they feel safe.

A (17:24)

I don't know. I don't. I don't think. Yeah, I guess so. I don't, like, think about, like, you being safe. I. Safe around pretty much everybody. There's no. What do you mean safe around?

B (17:41)

We can't. I. Yeah, you're right. We couldn't say names. We all. We all look at Chance at once. No.

A (17:47)

Well, no, I'm like, he does. He does. He is quite mean to me off camera.

B (17:51)

More than safe. Don't you feel like it's like more than safe. Don't you feel like you. You love that about me in a real way? Like you Said it's one of your favorite things because you like that, like, sometimes. Sometimes.

A (18:01)

Sorry. I just want to say I don't love it because you make me feel safe. I love it because I think it's hilarious.

B (18:04)

And you love it because it needs to be said and sometime is boring.

A (18:07)

Well, I get tired of doing it. Yeah, I'm the one. I get tired of doing it when you're not around. So when you come around and you're like, everyone's being weird because she's being a bitch, I'm like, thank you.

B (18:18)

I know. No, we both are the people who do it. Well, it's also like. I don't know, like, it's that thing of. Sometimes I'm bored of us not talking about it. When we talk about it, we get to somewhere really interesting fast. Normally. Yeah, we just talk about the thing.

A (18:29)

That's true, you know? Yeah.

B (18:32)

Whatever.

A (18:32)

I did. I was laughing really hard this morning thinking about the other day we. Holmes and I were at a coffee shop, and you were being pretty erratic in, like, a fun way. And I. I'm happier here, for sure. And. But you were being really, like, extra erratic. And I was like. I was like, hey, did you take your meds today? Holmes goes, I don't do that anymore. And I was like, okay.

B (18:55)

Hell, yeah, I don't do that anymore. I was on Zola for 10 years. I'm here to say I'm not on Zoloft anymore. And honestly, it's. Well, okay, here's what I'd like to say. I think I'm also prescribed Adderall, which is so crazy that, like, I could be this insane. And they're like, actually go on an upper because we want you to work more. It's like, you want this bitch to go to work harder? Like, that's crazy to me. But for the Zoloft of it all, I think that, hey, if you need to be medicated for your mental health, be medicated. I support medication. I also think this thing is going on where, like, our country and the world are in, like, pretty fucked places. And, like, groups are getting more and more scared for their life in, like, really, really fair ways. And then we're going to, like, a therapist about it or a psychiatrist, which I love therapy, but you'll go to psychiatrist, and they'll be like, okay, you know what the solution is? Let's get you medicated so you don't have to feel sad about this. And I understand that. And if it's in a place where you're going to kill yourself, Please take the medicine. But I think it does bother me a little bit that like a lot of feelings of sadness I am having are like, really not. Chemical imbalance are like really valid. Because I'm like, no. Billionaires are like taking money from everyone. Like everyone I know doesn't have enough money. You know, like, we're having like black and brown people taken off the streets all the time for doing nothing. And so I think that that has been bothering me lately because I've had more and more friends who've like never been medicated or starting to get medicated right now. Yeah. And it just is like, yeah, I think that chemical depression is a thing. Bipolar, you know, ocd. Please, like, take your meds if it makes your life better. I just do want it to be like, hey, let's have like a long term solution which is like fixing these things that are making everyone really depress depressed.

A (20:28)

Yeah. It feels like gaslighting at a certain point when. When it's like this. There's this thing that I feel like has always been in conflict, which is like the societal push on everyone to be happy all the time. Happy as like a state of being and happy as like a happy as a description of a person. Like, are you a happy person?

B (20:45)

Right.

A (20:45)

And it's like, well, no, that's not a description of a person. I am sometimes quite happy. I am sometimes quite sad. I would love to be happy more often than I'm sad. But there's that, there's that push from society and messaging to be a happy, capital H, capital P, happy person, which doesn't exist. And that's not how people work. Right. And then at the same time, it's coinciding with really bleak, sad, dark up realities of immigrants getting rounded up in the streets and a billion like too many things actually to keep track of too many things.

B (21:15)

And then it's like they're like, hey, so don't actually ignore all of that and take this medication so you maybe you don't even feel anything at all. And it just is like, once again, I can't say enough, please take your meds if you need your meds. I just do want to validate the people who are like, I wish I wasn't spending more. I think it makes me upset too, because meds cost money. So I'm like, we're telling like broke people to pay more money to feel less sad about things that like, shouldn't be going on at all.

A (21:41)

Yeah, well, yeah. And it's like, look, but this is the constant give and take. Right. Of, like, what we can do is get you on meds if you need them right now. Take your meds if you need them. What we can't do is wake up tomorrow and have a better country for immigrants. Right. So, like, we can't just. We actually can't. Like, if you were my therapist, you and I can't make that happen much as we would like to.

B (21:58)

Therapists are not doing well right now.

A (22:00)

No. So it's like, we have to find the solution that's going to help you work through all of it as you work. But there has to be some kind of, like, acknowledgment that being sad is a natural response to. Yeah, I am a happy person, and I'm trying to be happy at the same time that I do the work and hold the despair and like, yeah, I wanna. I wanna. I want to, like, work on the things that I think I can help make better while also being sad about them.

B (22:23)

Me too.

A (22:23)

And also having fun. I'm trying to get balance, all of those y. But it does feel crazy sometimes when people are like, oh, well, the point is being happy. And I'm like, right. But everything is stacked against us right now. It feels like.

B (22:34)

Right. And I think that even, like, I don't know, we're talking about weight loss or a second ago. And for me, like, movement was really, like, taken from me at a young age. I felt like, like running and any type of working out, it was. Which is something that does actually give me chemicals to feel happier. But it was so associated with, like. Like, lose enough weight. So I. This guy wants to have sex with you, and I was like, I don't really like that guy. So actually, no, thanks.

A (23:00)

Yeah.

B (23:00)

And now in the last, like, I don't know, and I don't know, the last, like, 10 years, I guess I've gotten better and better at being like, oh, I really, like, like exercise because it makes me not want to kill myself.

A (23:12)

I think, really, the last four years, too, I've gotten it. Yeah, I think you've gotten really, really good at being like. I've. I've heard you be like, like, I have to move my body or I'm gonna feel like. Like, I've heard you, like, say it out loud more.

B (23:23)

You know, I. Well, because I think I want people to. I think it's so associated with weight loss, and it really bugs me because it's so. Like. Even, like Pilates, for example, is, like, so associated with, like, white bougie Girl who is like, you know, like, get Gracie Abram abs or whatever. And it's like. Or like, don't kill yourself, you know? Like, for me, it's, like, very associated with, like. No, that actually was meditative to me. I couldn't look at my phone. I was in a class, like, with a group of people, and we all, like, like, got stronger, and I got some endorphins, and it. I doesn't have to do with what my body looks like at all. In fact, my boobs lost two sizes, which has sucked.

A (23:57)

Oh, I know. I've hated looking at your boobs since then.

B (23:59)

Well, it has sucked because it's like.

A (24:00)

I used to love them because they were so big.

B (24:03)

I didn't know how much I was relying on them. I didn't know how much. It was like, a little tool. So if I just, like, wanted, like, something just, like, big boobs, like, boobs have a hold on people in a way that people aren't addressing. Like, I know.

A (24:12)

Like, I've been saying this since childhood. I'm like, what is the thing with boobs?

B (24:18)

What is the thing with. I feel like, even for gay guys, it does sometimes.

A (24:21)

I did stop his podcast yesterday, and he was talking about how much he loves big tits. And I know, literally, I, in the moment, had to say, stop. I've never felt further away from you. Like, I was just like. To hear you talk like that, and I know that you're like that, but I'm like. To hear you talk like that is so upsetting. I feel far from my friend. Folks with prices going up on just about everything lately, being smart with your money isn't just a good idea. It's essential. But managing subscriptions, tracking spending, and cutting costs can feel overwhelming. Lucky for you, Rocket Money takes the guesswork out of it, so you can easily make smart decisions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going from ones you don't want anymore. Rocket Money can help you cancel them. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. $740. You could probably buy a freaking gallon of milk with that these days with the way things are going. To cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket Money, go to RocketMoney.com so true today. Next today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Alma's on a mission to simplify access to high quality, affordable mental health care. Alma has built a community of over 20,000 diverse therapists. Therapists on the platform offer both in person and virtual care. While online tools and resources can be a useful starting point or supplement, human relationships are an irreplaceable part of mental health care. Alma can help you find someone who will work with you on your specific needs and goals and support you in making real progress in improving your mental health. Alma makes things real simple to find a therapist. Some people, I'm not even gonna lie to you guys, they turn to impersonal online resources like forums or chatbots. And if you're turning to chatbots for mental health, you got a long way to go because they think finding a therapist is expensive and difficult. Not so. The directory makes it easy to find therapists that take your insurance and meet your unique needs with filters like gender, race, therapeutic approach, and more. Know the cost of your sessions upfront using Alma's Cost Estimator tool. At Alma, 97 of therapists accept insurance, including. Oh man, some of my favorites, United, Aetna, Cigna, and even more. Even better with people, better with Alma, visit hello Alma.com so true to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello A l M a dot com S o dash T R U.

B (26:56)

E I mean, I think I'm forgiving about boob stuff more than other people because like growing up bean zipping my mom was like a huge pastime for me. Like I like loved to beaned at my mom in a way that like she like really didn't like it. But I thought it was so funny.

A (27:08)

You're like, do not call my mom a blimp, Kathy. Kathy's like, are you a friend or a foe?

B (27:14)

I was like, my mom is stunning. Oh. Oh yeah. It was really, really bad.

A (27:18)

Well, one time you think she's fat. Look at this.

B (27:23)

I'm like, she's gonna lose weight. These are gonna be gone. No, my dad one time did it, I guess because he like when I was out of town, he did it cuz he was like missing me and she like called me and she was like, you've created a huge issue. She was like, tom, just being people knew your dad.

A (27:37)

Your dad like, Tom, like Holmes. His dad is one of my favorite people on earth. And his energy is very like, hey, guys, how's it going?

B (27:43)

Well, he has three, like, woman around who, like, I have, like, really big feelings. I mean, we're all like, very smart and cool too.

A (27:49)

But I remember the first time that I was around and he got to talk about football with someone and I thought he was going to cry. Well, it was crazy.

B (27:56)

I told you one time that we found him, we lived in. At the time, my parents lived in, like a high rise apartment. Like an apartment building. No, backyard. High up. And we. He went to the bathroom and my mom and I saw that he was like, searching grills nowhere for a girl. It was like one of those things where I was like, he wanted, like, a whole different life than we gave him. He wanted to be like, like playing football and like, grilling with the boys, truly. And instead we were like, I was like, really, really bad at sports and I was like, you will be going to musicals and we will be lashing out.

A (28:21)

I went. I remember. I remember the first time I really connected with your dad was that it was. All of it was you and your sibling and Kathy and I went over to Tom. He was like, sitting off somewhere on the side and I was like. I was like, tom, what do you think of the Chiefs this season? He was like, well, I'm feeling pretty good, you know, it was like he was going to cry.

B (28:40)

He's like, we can talk about Wicked if you want. No, he's so used to it.

A (28:45)

Well, my favorite, he's like, dobby doesn't talk about sports. Dobby talks about Wicked.

B (28:49)

I mean, he does love a fantasy book. That's why he's very surprising. Like, it's really, really cool. He just retired. He just retired and he's finally, like, letting himself, like, think about, like, larger ideas, which is really beautiful to watch. But I do, I want to give my dad credit because I talk about how much I love my mom so much. I'm obsessed with her. She's so funny. Where my dad, like, the thing I love the most about him is he changes his mind. Like, I remember when I went to college, I was like, we've only been to three fights my whole life. And I remember when I went to college, we. Oh, I came back to visit him and my mom for a second and I was like, oh, my God. We were drinking IPAs together. That was like a big Thing we had in common. And he was. I was like, everyone at college is getting sad. Like, all the girls are getting all the time. It's out of control. And he was like. He got really upset because, like, he would never. And he was like. He was, like, really heated. He was like. He was like, no. He was like, the cops would catch him, you know? And I was like, they're not catching them. And we got in, like, this huge fight for real. And then literally, like, two weeks later, he called me and he was like, honey, I'm so sorry. The cops are not catching them. And he, like, fully, like, admitted that he was wrong. He was like, I read some articles. It is a huge problem on college campuses. Like, I did not know. And it's like, he's always been like that. Like, Republican to Democrat. He is always, like, just like, he had two daughters who, like, want to talk about, like, who want him to learn. And, like, we learn from him all the time. And he, like, actually learns and changes his mind. And I just think that, like, was the most beautiful thing I could ever learn from a dad.

A (30:12)

Yeah, that is beautiful.

B (30:14)

Well, shout out. Changing your mind. I know. When's the last time you changed? You know, I love to ask this. When's the last time you changed your mind?

A (30:19)

I don't need to.

B (30:20)

You have all perfect views.

A (30:21)

Yeah, I don't need to.

B (30:22)

What's the last thing you learned that excited you?

A (30:25)

I'm trying to think. If I have changed my mind, what have I changed my mind about? You would.

B (30:31)

Last time you said ice cream. Last time I asked you, it was. You liked pistachio ice cream.

A (30:36)

What else is there? You would know. We've. We, you know, what have I changed my mind about? You would know better than me. And maybe. What if I change my mind?

B (30:43)

I think sometimes people, which I wouldn't name any of them. I think sometimes, like, a person will, like, we'll change our mind on people sometimes.

A (30:48)

Very rare early. I'll admit it, though. I will say. I'll admit when I'm wrong about somebody.

B (30:52)

Like, I think, like, sometimes, yeah, we can get a bad impression and then.

A (30:54)

Yeah, but I'm almost always right about. That is the thing. I really am. I really am. I will say. I admit I've come to you and been like, hey, that person I told you I didn't like, I was wrong about them. They turned out. They turned out to be very cool. But I am almost always right about that one. I think more often than changing my mind about someone, I get proven Right. And that's really fun.

B (31:12)

Shut up. You do change your mind sometimes.

A (31:14)

Sometimes. But I'm saying every time, every person I've tried to think of that I had a negative opinion of what I'm thinking of is the time I learned. Learned more that I was right. There's a hole in my sock that I know is going to come up. And my socks are like, these are clean socks, mind you, but they have just, like a bunch of lint on them.

B (31:29)

I really understand. I mean, my washer and dryer is a nightmare.

A (31:31)

Like, why do my socks always get fuzzies on them?

B (31:33)

They get fuzzies on them. Mine will randomly. I'll pull them out. They'll have, like, I told you, like, my clothes will have, like, oil on them. I'll have, like, oh, they'll have oil on them. The washer. I live in a place right now. Washer and dryer. And it just behind the camera's.

A (31:45)

Chance.

B (31:46)

Hey, Chance. It has a mole.

A (31:48)

Obviously, we'll cut this. It's just like, it gets to a point.

B (31:52)

God.

A (31:53)

Thank you, Chance. Yeah. Not doing the bit, homes. We had a chance. Give me a kiss. Yeah, it's okay.

B (32:01)

What is on it? I think I'm actually maybe not very good at doing bits on podcast.

A (32:05)

Have you? What?

B (32:06)

Like, I feel like.

A (32:09)

Like, I think all you do is bits.

B (32:11)

Like, I just, like, want to talk. Like, I think I'm just, like, talking to you as a friend. Like, I think people would be surprised about how much, like, our relationship is actually serious and then how we comedy. Like, like, we laugh all the time. Yeah. But, like, we also, like, you know what I mean? Like, we're not, like, doing bits all the time, us.

A (32:25)

No. I don't get to a lot. I have to field a lot of crises.

B (32:28)

Shut up with you. I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Do you mean when someone's like, I have a new bit. Like, when people are like, I have, like, I have a new bit I want to do. And I'm always like, I'm never. We're not doing that in our friendship. We'll just do it. I mean, it'll trust fall on me or whatever.

A (32:43)

What?

B (32:44)

Like, bits, like, do you know what I'm talking?

A (32:45)

I know. I'm just confused about what you mean, like, specifically on podcasts or like, in life.

B (32:49)

Like, day to day life. Like, I'm like, I don't think I'm like, super bitty. Like, I think I'm, like, kind of wild and weirdo all the time, but I'm not like, this is my new bit that's going around.

A (32:57)

Yeah, okay. I guess I do know what you mean. You don't have like. Yeah, yeah, sorry.

B (32:59)

I was just really saying, like, I'm like, maybe it's like you're like, you need to be medicated again to scratch everything we said.

A (33:04)

I'm not sure that you don't need to be medicated again. I'm keeping tabs. I'm looking into things for you.

B (33:09)

I don't even. Have you ever tried medication?

A (33:11)

No. I'm strong.

B (33:13)

Shut up.

A (33:14)

Kidding, kidding.

B (33:15)

I'm really strong and I don't need meds.

A (33:17)

I consider it, though.

B (33:19)

Yeah.

A (33:19)

I just. The issue for me with meds is that I'm like, sure do. I think that I'm just. I'm. It's hard because I'm not depressed anymore. And that was my big thing. That was like my big, like, suicidal depression was my big thing.

B (33:30)

And that's huge.

A (33:31)

And I got over it on my own. And that's. There's no. There's. If you get over with meds, if you get over it without them, it doesn't matter. Getting over it with meds is also getting over it on your own, just in a different way.

B (33:39)

How much do you think aside the.

A (33:40)

Money.

B (33:42)

Being less depressed?

A (33:45)

I fixed it before that. I fixed it before money. But money, I have said many times on this show, anybody who tells you that money won't fix your problems is a lie.

B (33:55)

I think about this a lot.

A (33:56)

I got some money and pretty much everything went away. I mean, it's crazy. And I. It now I know what they mean when they say that, but it's like, yeah, any idiot would know that. Like, they're like, it won't make you not like, like, deal with regular stuff that humans deal with. It's like, duh. But it did fix, like, most of my material problems, like being able to help my mom with her bills. She doesn't need help, but being able to help her with her bills.

B (34:19)

You do. Yeah.

A (34:19)

Knowing she's taken care of, knowing that I have a place, like, even having a house that, like, I don't stay at all the time that I can let people stay at for free. Like, that kind of stuff gives you an amount of, like, security and worth as well. That, like, yeah, I. Money fixed pretty much all my problems, but I worked on my mental health. Luckily, I got to replace my mental health before that. That was good.

B (34:43)

You did.

A (34:43)

And. And also, I don't. I'm glad that I loved myself Before I got attention. Because attention is. We really don't have to talk about it. I talk about it simply too much. But attention is a really insidious force, and it's very poisonous. And I think I've watched so many smart, charming, lovely people fall. Fall prey to fame and they become so boring and psychotic and out of touch and crazy.

B (35:08)

Yeah.

A (35:09)

That I. You just see how poisonous it is. And if you don't love yourself before you get it, it'll destroy you, I think.

B (35:14)

Totally. I feel like I. I mean, you know me. Like, I have. Like, I've actively hurt my career multiple times from trying to run away from attention because I get so scared of losing myself. I feel.

A (35:23)

Yeah. Do you want to put your finger in my sock?

B (35:25)

I do. Look at that. Oh, I can't actually. It's not big enough. You can.

A (35:29)

It's just.

B (35:29)

There's a toe right there.

A (35:30)

There's a toe right there.

B (35:31)

I got big. Look at that. This. Do whatever you want to do with this footage. Okay.

A (35:36)

Don't make it sexual while you're in there.

B (35:37)

Whatever.

A (35:38)

You were in my crevasse.

B (35:40)

In my crevice.

A (35:41)

Don't be sexual when you're in my crevasse.

B (35:42)

Whatever.

A (35:43)

Stop. I know we're gonna hook up someday. It's, like, not necessary to talk about.

B (35:47)

I wanted to bring it up because I was like, no, no. I wanted to bring up that. I think sometimes that something that people don't always know about you is how you romantic. You make your friendships. And I was like, do you. I actually was curious to ask you sometime. Like, do you do that intentionally? Like, are you, like, are you aware of that? You make sure your friendship have, like, a level of romance to them. Like, sometimes I have more romance with romance with you than, like, I was a crush.

A (36:09)

So that's actually a different problem than you think it is.

B (36:14)

It's really sweet. Like, it's like. I don't know. Like, it feels like this thing of, like.

A (36:19)

I don't know.

B (36:20)

Do you only consider romance in romantic relationships? I mean, and that's. That was dumb to say only in, like, sexual relationships.

A (36:27)

No, I think life is romantic. I have. I think there are romance in my friendships, but I don't. I think that what you're keying in on is just that you're kind of. Of.

B (36:36)

Our friendships is romantic.

A (36:37)

Our friendship is romantic. And then also you get around someone you have a crush on and behave in a way that, like, you. You're like Nell from the movie Nell.

B (36:48)

Don't you bring Mel into this, you.

A (36:51)

Start acting like Nell.

B (36:52)

No, it is actually so scary because I love. Because I love the trees as well.

A (36:55)

It's really nice.

B (36:56)

I'm fully nel mel and I have so much to go common. I have more in common with Nell than Alex Cooper. I made.

A (37:05)

I made Holmes show me their hinge profile the other day.

B (37:10)

And it wasn't horrible in.

A (37:11)

No, it wasn't horrible. One of the slides was just a video of trees with no context. And I was like.

B (37:17)

And they were, like, frozen.

A (37:18)

They were. Yeah, it was like winter trees. And I was like, hey, so this is the kind of thing that's going to not make a ton of sense to somebody who doesn't know, like, I know what the trees mean to you, but I'm like, maybe we put, like, at least a joke caption on it or anything at all to make the trees make sense on the profile.

B (37:35)

I need them to know that they're gonna come up, you know?

A (37:37)

No, I'm totally agree. The tree. It's something to know about you is the thing with the trees, but.

B (37:41)

It's the thing with the trees.

A (37:42)

But I'm like, we need to include some context. Otherwise, you look a little bit like a serial killer.

B (37:48)

I would never. I would never kill. I would never. Were you ever obsessed with a serial killer, like, growing up? Would you, like, research them a ton?

A (37:53)

Oh, sure. Plenty of them. I think they're fascinating, Right.

B (37:56)

Because they had to have a charisma.

A (37:57)

They'd have a charisma. And also, we used to have so many more serial killers before the surveillance state.

B (38:02)

Before DNA testing, too.

A (38:04)

Yeah. And now that we live in the Panopticon, you can't really have serial killers much anymore, but. Which is like, look, with surveillance, we're getting some goods and some baths. We're getting rid of serial killers. We're also living a life that none of us recognize.

B (38:17)

No one's eating, no energy to kill.

A (38:19)

Quite sad. Yeah. But before the Panopticon, you used to have really interesting serial killers.

B (38:24)

It was crazy. I remember Florida State. It was Ted Bundy's last stop, and I, like, went to school.

A (38:29)

Last stop. Last stop on his tour.

B (38:31)

Yeah, last stop. Hey, guys, I'm coming through. Talonasty.

A (38:34)

He kind of did a campus tour.

B (38:35)

Yeah, he did a campus tour. And you. It was a scary energy. People talked about it. It was a nightmare. And, yeah, I researched it so much that I was just like, you should, like, study other things you're into. You know, like Ted Bundy over and over.

A (38:46)

It's Just scary too. Now we know so much and we're so distrustful of each other because it really used to be like, I feel like in the 70s, these people, you. A guy with like an us, his arm and a sling would just be like, can you help me put these rugs in this van? And it's the middle of the night. And like a single woman would be like, absolutely.

B (39:01)

My.

A (39:02)

Now we don't trust each other because they turned into killings.

B (39:05)

I know. My aunt Carol used to literally a hitchhike to work every day.

A (39:09)

That's cool.

B (39:10)

Y' all tell stories like that. And I'm like, every day.

A (39:12)

You should be able to do like that.

B (39:14)

Well, something that we're not talking about enough is that I actually think like 80 of people are good. I really actually think like 80. Like, people think it's like we're in like 50, 50. We're so divided. I'm like, no, I really think these like, like there's like a 20% lunatic pocket and they're like, really, really making the 80%, like everyone mad each other. I don't think it's that many.

A (39:29)

I think the 10, 80, 10 rule is true about most things. And in terms of people, I think it's 10% of people are truly evil. Like truly, truly evil. People shout out 10% are truly angelic, like undeniably good. And the other 80 are just floating kind of somewhere in the day to day. That seems more correct to me.

B (39:50)

You're angelic for sure.

A (39:53)

No, I think I'm probably in the 80.

B (39:55)

I'm probably in the 80. We know.

A (39:56)

When I think of like, we know some of the angelic people.

B (39:58)

Yeah, we know some of the tens.

A (40:00)

We do.

B (40:00)

I think you are one of the ten.

A (40:01)

Thank you. That's very sweet. I put you in the 80s. Aura frames are the one gift that never gets old. Just like my charm, it's the perfect gift to remind your loved ones of all the wonderful memories you've shared, all in one convenient place. During the holidays, my family is constantly taking pictures to preserve all the good times we're having to look back on fondly. And the best place I can think to put all those memories is inside a brand new aura frame sitting right on the living room mantel. You can upload unlimited photos and videos, just download the Aura app and connect to WI Fi with no hidden fees. And every frame comes in a packet packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag, ready for your friends and family to dig right in and enjoy. No price tag for those Nosy freaks in your family. They'll never know what it costs. It could be a million dollars for all they know. Especially your dumb grandma named Number one by Wirecutter. You can save on the perfect gift by visiting horaframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $20 off their best selling Carver mat frame with Code so true. That's auraframes.com promo code so True. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout, would you please? I'm a humble content farmer and I need your help. Terms and conditions apply. Goodbye. So we've all heard we're eating a credit card's worth of plastic a week I hadn't and that really sucks. You can make the switch to Blue Land across all the cleaning products in your house. Their products meet the highest standard of clean. They're effective, yet they're gentle on your family and planet. Blueland was also named an EPA Safer Choice Partner of the Year. From cleaning sprays and toilet bowl cleaner to dishwasher and laundry detergent tablets, Blueland's formulas are 100% microplastic free made with certified clean ingredients free from chlorine, bleach and harsh chemicals that are safe to use around the house. You'll love not having to choose between the safe option and what actually gets the house clean. And their laundry tablets are proven to lift the toughest stains from grass stains to food stains. I'm always getting grass stains these days. I'm always getting grass stains. Blue Land is on a mission to make it easier for everyone to make sustainable choices. They believe that hard working clean products can be the norm, not the exception, so that you can do better for your family and your planet. At the same time. Blueland products are independently tested to perform alongside major brands that are free from dyes, bleach and harsh chemicals. Blue and has a special offer for our listeners. I'm just going to be honest with you guys. Right now you can get 15% off your first order by going to blueand.comsotrue you don't want to miss this. Blueland.comshowtrue for 15% off. That's blueland.comshowtrue to get 15% off. Mr. Monopoly here. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get your bag. Two ways to pee Peel for a chance to get your bag. Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others. To get your bag, play Monopoly at McDonald's. No purchase necessary. See rolls@playmcd.com for full details and amoe.play@mcd.com to play without purchase ends November 23rd. But bonus play ends November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's. No, I don't think it's probably with people. I don't think it's probably actually 1080, 10. I think it's like really, truly evil, horrible people. I think it's really, truly, like less than a percent. Like, I just don't think most people are like that.

B (43:35)

I think it's really, really small. And I think that they've done some really, really good work recently. I like making us think it's a lot more.

A (43:40)

Well, also evil people have just done some good work recently.

B (43:42)

They've done some good work.

A (43:43)

If you like evil, you gotta love. We're living through like the 90s bulls right now.

B (43:47)

You gotta love this. Exactly.

A (43:49)

Stephen Miller's evil freak ass is like, he's in power somehow and he's getting his done.

B (43:53)

They. I know, but they're starting to. They'd be upset. Like, I saw Curtis Yarvin the other day was like, this is a mess. I want to leave the country. And I was like, oh, you guys are fighting. Okay.

A (44:00)

The girls are fighting.

B (44:00)

Yeah, the girls are fight. Which means the world. You know, I don't know.

A (44:04)

I would say if I said what I thought about Stephen Miller on this podcast, I would be in a one of those old timey medieval town square stocks by tomorrow morning.

B (44:17)

Let me ask you this, okay? Would you. Would you live in a world with no phones if you could, even though this is such a part of your life?

A (44:25)

Do I have to be poor in it?

B (44:30)

Do you have to be so crazy? I'm like, and you have to be living in the streets. No, no, you don't have to. You don't have to be at all.

A (44:37)

I get to have the life I have now. But none of us have phones.

B (44:39)

I don't say that you get to. I don't know that your financial situation, it could be, but there's no phones. Phones never existed. Versus they existed.

A (44:47)

Yeah, I would undo them. I would have. If I had my power, no matter what it did to my life. I would stop us at the BlackBerry. And the BlackBerry should have been the end of it. Yeah, the BlackBerry should have been the end of it. People were emailing on there, they were texting. But it was kind of hard.

B (45:01)

I don't even know who created it.

A (45:02)

They had phone calls. We don't need to. We didn't need to.

B (45:04)

We didn't know about these rocks. Like, I love that. I didn't know that.

A (45:06)

We didn't used to know about fucking CEOs.

B (45:08)

I know. It's probably, like, Sierra BlackBerry, she's, like, walking around minding her own business.

A (45:11)

Probably not, but that doesn't matter.

B (45:13)

It's like, it was a girl.

A (45:15)

It might have been a girl, but I don't think her name was probably Sierra BlackBerry.

B (45:20)

We know who she was.

A (45:21)

It was. We know. We know. Sierra BlackBerry.

B (45:25)

I miss her.

A (45:25)

Yeah, I love her. I miss somebody I never met all the time.

B (45:29)

The other day. The other day, we were talking about missing people and having to be, like, a person. Like, having to be, like, missing someone versus a specific person versus just the feeling of longing for love, you know? And then I quoted Florence in the Machine and Caleb said, never do that again to me.

A (45:44)

Well, we were having, like, an earnest conversation about, like, missing a person versus missing a love and when they're the same and when they're different and missing, like, a routine. And we were being very vulnerable. And then Holmes goes, I want you.

B (45:56)

So badly, you could be anyone.

A (45:59)

This is exactly what Holmes did to me. Holmes goes, I want you so badly, you could be anyone. Florence and the Machine. And it stopped me dead in my tracks. And I went, okay, don't ever do that again. But absolutely.

B (46:11)

Well, okay. So there's a book called. I believe it's called they Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Adaraki.

A (46:17)

He's amazing.

B (46:18)

He's amazing.

A (46:18)

I love that book.

B (46:19)

And I love that book. And. And I wasn't a big Florence person, and he talked about that in it, and I really stuck with me because I feel like. I feel that feeling really a lot. And I used to let that have me be in romantic relationships sometimes when I wasn't ready because I had that feeling so strongly. And, yeah, I just like that. I. That book is just so good because I'm just like, I don't know, we can talk about music all day long, but it was. You're right. I should have just locked in and not brought up a quote. I'm like Dr. Siddhartha.

A (46:47)

It was beautiful. No, I do love that book. His. His. His reviews are incredible.

B (46:51)

He's so incredible. And I just like, you know, like, live shows, comedy, music, they mean so much to me in every single way. I think they've. I think live performance has, like, saved my life. I really believe that. And, yeah, he does such a good job at, like, talking about it while also, like, connecting it with our day to day life. Yeah.

A (47:10)

What are you excited about right now? What's making you excited?

B (47:13)

I'm really excited that I live here.

A (47:16)

You moved to New York. This is huge.

B (47:17)

I moved to New York.

A (47:18)

I feel like you kind me tooth and nail every step of the way, but we got it done.

B (47:22)

I feel really, really, I feel really happy about it. I feel really lucky about it. And I also feel really excited about the fact that, I mean, I feel you're gonna make fun of me, but I feel really excited about like the people power right now. Like, I feel excited that I know that we are going to get through this. I have like hope finally again. Like I had like, I would say this summer I was lacking hope, but I was doing, I, I, I was, you know, I, I was doing everything I could with people and I was like, you know, Ice was gonna be in LA so much and I just didn't, I didn't have hope. I was just feeling really, really, really down at the same time. And I have hope again in a real way. And I think it's because I drove across the country, I've been taught to, to move here. I've been talking to so many people all the time and I'm just like, I really, really, really believe that 80% thing that I talked about. And I think that in the next, I think in my lifetime I'm going to see like, like us not be run by billionaires. I think I'm gonna see that. Like, I'll talk to some people and they're like, I don't think that I'll see that in my lifetime. And I'm like, I think I'll really see it in my lifetime. So those are the things I feel excited about. I feel excited about like general humanity for real. And then I also feel really excited to live in New York in a way that like I couldn't have afforded when I got right out of college. And like a lot of my friends moved here right then and I couldn't afford that. I lived in Chicago, which was the best decision of my life. And, and now I get to live here and it's just the best ever. And I've been out at like shows all the time. It just, yeah, it makes me really happy.

A (48:46)

It's so funny the things you think I'm gonna make fun of you for because you right before you say Florence and the Machine, that doesn't trigger in your brain, but right before you say you're like inspired by people power, something that we talk earnestly about, like, every day of our lives.

B (48:59)

Well, I just, like. I didn't know if the wording would. I, like, I just. Yeah, I feel really, really inspired about that right now. I do. And I feel the New York I feel happier about, too, because I'm gonna make myself, like, dance more and stuff. Like, that's something I've, like, lost in the last few years. Like, I don't go dancing at all anymore. And, like, I was here the other night and, you know, we were talking about that, like, where are good places to go out? Like, I just feel. Yeah, I feel happy about being alive.

A (49:23)

Me too. I like that for you. I'm glad you feel that way.

B (49:26)

Is there something else coming up for you that you're excited about?

A (49:28)

Oh, man.

B (49:31)

Insanity. Insanity.

A (49:33)

It's. I'm. I'm tired and I've got more tire coming up.

B (49:38)

But you're working too much.

A (49:39)

I am. I'm just working too much. And I'm. And I'm. I don't really see the end of it kind of at the moment. It's like, technically, I'll get a break in, like, a month and a half after a really, really tough coming up. Month and a half. And I would like to. I'm excited for that, hypothetically. But now I'm getting to the point where every single week since the beginning of this year, I have felt excited for the break that was to come. And then it's been taken away from me, and of course, we're snatched away from me.

B (50:03)

Snatched away.

A (50:04)

And so I don't. I'm like, now it's hard to even get excited about a potential break because they just don't come in the way that I need them. So I'm really, really hoping that I get the end of the year off, and that would be exciting to me.

B (50:13)

You're gonna get it off, and you're just gonna have to say it. You teach me to say no all the time. You just are gonna have to be like, don't. I won't do anything.

A (50:18)

I said no so much this year, and it didn't save me. That's the issue.

B (50:22)

He's too successful.

A (50:23)

Well, it's just. It's a good year. I'm excited. I'm grateful. It was all good things this year. It was all things I wanted to do, and I'm so grateful. I'm just like, no.

B (50:29)

It's like, we, like.

A (50:30)

It's really hard work.

B (50:31)

Work.

A (50:31)

Yeah.

B (50:32)

It's literally.

A (50:32)

It's work. It's work to make everything. It's Work.

B (50:34)

It's work, honey.

A (50:35)

It's work, honey. Boots.

B (50:37)

It's boots. So how did you feel about Diane? What passing did that affect? Was she. Did she mean a lot to you?

A (50:42)

Diane Keaton?

B (50:43)

Yeah. I just thought about her when you just. I don't know what that. When I thought to an impression, us playing reminded me of her.

A (50:48)

I love her.

B (50:48)

I love her.

A (50:49)

It meant a lot to me.

B (50:50)

I know.

A (50:51)

Do you know, actually one time, I do love her. I'm so sad that she's gone, obviously.

B (50:56)

But what an inspiration.

A (50:57)

She really is. And there. There's something I think about all the time that I think about her constantly. Where I was in LA one time, and this guy, I was like, next to him at a coffee shop, and he was talking to his friend, and I knew his friend, but I didn't know him. And they kind of got in that point in the conversation where they were kind of catching up while I was ordering. And he goes, you're like, hello? I was like, I'm here. And no, no, it was sweet. It was nice. They were like, catching up and I was kind of listening. And the guy goes. The guy goes, tree fell on my car. I'm so pissed. And in my head I was like, oh, damn, that really sucks. And his friend goes, oh, fuck, I'm so sorry. And he goes, yeah. It's kind of cool, though. It was Diane Keaton's tree. And. And I. To this day, I like, it occurred that, like, I was ordering the coffee and I had to lock in, and then they kind of moved over to the table. And there was never a natural moment to find out if he was being earnest or not.

B (51:51)

That's.

A (51:51)

But to this day, he had to be earnest. I don't know if that was a bit or like a very funny, but he. He literally, like, lit up so funny. Like, it was Diane Keaton's tree.

B (51:59)

It was I. Diane's pain for my car to be fixed. Well, also, you know, Diane would. Would. She'd be like, she'd handle that.

A (52:05)

Well, she. Her insurance would have to.

B (52:06)

Yeah, her. I'm like, she handled it.

A (52:09)

She came out, she thumbed up. She's like.

B (52:12)

She's like fixing the window. I will say, because, like, as you know, like, I started, I. After honestly aa, I was like, okay, I need some type of higher power. I don't believe in, like, this God people talk about, but I am understanding that I would like one. And so that's when I decided that it's going to be treated and it's Been going well. It's been going well. And. But I will say they have had my back since it happened. He, like, rolled his eyes a little bit. I'm like, it has.

A (52:33)

I didn't roll my eyes.

B (52:34)

They've had my back since it happened. Like, this girl who I do not. Like, a tree fell on her. And that was after I started praying for them.

A (52:41)

I know. I remember that.

B (52:42)

I know when I was like, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe when it happened. I was like, you guys, you don't have to be like that. Like, I was like, I love you back. But, like, you don't have to hit her.

A (52:51)

It's obviously, you know that it's hard for me when you say. When you say that the trees have your back. It's. I strug and I come from a place of love.

B (53:00)

Well, you have some type of higher power.

A (53:02)

Yeah.

B (53:03)

You can't put an object.

A (53:05)

It could totally be clouds.

B (53:07)

You're more cloudy. You love. You love a cloud. You look at the sky and admire a cloud.

A (53:12)

I like a sunset. Yeah. I don't think. I mean, I think every. I think every. I think God is in the trees as much as God is in anything.

B (53:18)

Sunset takes someone out. That'd be really nuts.

A (53:20)

Yeah, it does. Sometimes the sky takes people out. And I never think that. It's like the earth acting on my behalf, but that I loved when the tree fell on the woman. And I'm happy for you. And she was okay.

B (53:31)

She was okay. If she got hurt at all, I would be like. They would never do that, though. They decided to teach her a lesson.

A (53:35)

Yeah.

B (53:36)

If a tree falls nearby, like, just know, like, they got Greg Abbott. Wait, what did they.

A (53:43)

A tree got Greg Abbott. Did you not know that?

B (53:44)

There's so much news that I don't even know this.

A (53:46)

Well, Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas.

B (53:48)

He got hit by a tree.

A (53:49)

He's in a wheelchair because he got. He was on a run when he was in, like, his 20s and a tree fell on him. Him. Big God guy, by the way.

B (53:58)

Big God guy.

A (53:58)

Big God guy thinks.

B (54:00)

You know what? Not a big tree guy.

A (54:01)

Yeah. Well, he should have been praying to the trees.

B (54:04)

Maybe God. God might be mad at me, but the trees, they love me every day.

A (54:07)

Yeah.

B (54:07)

Let me tell you that.

A (54:08)

People got so mad at Jasmine Crockett when she called him Governor Hot Wheels. Then I'm like, hey, when you're that evil, everything's back on the table. Sorry.

B (54:15)

She's also a legend. I love her so much. Jasmine Crockett Yeah, I love her.

A (54:18)

Yeah, she cracks me up pretty often.

B (54:20)

I just love her so much. I just think it's like being. I am someone who has never been a big. Like, I don't. I didn't study political science. I don't understand the government that. That much. I've had to learn way more than I would have liked to, I'll tell you that much. And Jasmine is like, I just love that she'll, like, pop online and talk to us like a person. Because she's like, okay, if we're all online right now, then I'll be talking to you guys, too. Like, it feels like so many people in the government are still, like, wearing the wigs or whatever, you know?

A (54:40)

Yeah, I do. I like. Yeah, she has a very approachable nature, which I like.

B (54:43)

I like it a lot. She looks smart as hell, and it's.

A (54:46)

Like, yeah, I wish that she would do a little less clapping back and a little more like, I think we need. The left has an issue with policy in general, and it's not a Jasmine Crockett problem. It's a left problem. Yeah. But I wish that more of our fire brands would get on message a little bit harder and to the point. But that all is to say I. If she. I'm saying all this to say, if she were to run, I would have some real notes.

B (55:07)

Yeah.

A (55:08)

For something, like, bigger. But as a. I love. I love what she's doing right now.

B (55:12)

Yeah.

A (55:12)

Yeah. Same with aoc. AOC is actually.

B (55:14)

I love her.

A (55:15)

On the opposite end of the spectrum for me, sometimes where I'm like, we're a little too mired down in the message. There has to be kind of a happy medium. We need, like, a firebrand who does the message really well for me because.

B (55:25)

Like I said, you get me in the government, everything's worse than it could be. You can only imagine. So I'm like, the people who are calling out the things that I think are horrible and are around really, really scary men all the time who hate them. I'm like, I love you. I support you. It's not. I'm not gonna. Definitely not gonna donate to your campaign like you text me to all the time, but I will support you and I'll. I'll heart it every single time.

A (55:45)

That's like, the one. If we could really fix, if I could do one, if I could snap my fingers and have one thing, it would be getting the fucking money out of politics.

B (55:51)

Gavin Newsom texting me every single day to donate to him. I'm like, bitch, you have more money than me every single day, and you always will.

A (55:57)

It's crazy.

B (55:58)

Yeah. And I have more money than all my friends. I'm like, in your texting them, too. I'm like, stop texting us. Like, it is actually out of control, him acting like that's the only way. I'm like, you have more work than I have done. You know, I, like, I use more, like, fancy lotion than my friends. Like, I'm like, we're, like, in a bad state if you keep asking us for money, dude.

A (56:15)

I'm torn because I think two things are true. Like, number one, I'm not voting for Gavin Newsom. And that's where I'm at. That's how I feel in my heart. And then I see people being like, why does the left always destroy our. Our candidates before they even have a chance? And I kind of understand what is being said by that.

B (56:33)

I understand that.

A (56:34)

But he's not the left either. Like, he's, like, backpedaling on trans rights. He's, like, been horrible about homeless people. He is not our guy, and I don't want to vote for him, and I won't. But, yeah, I'm torn on all that. I mean, we're not there yet, but I'm just, like.

B (56:48)

I'm trying to not think of, like, for me, I'm like, okay, what. What can. What can happen in my community right now? What is, like, the next thing right now versus, like, well, for sure.

A (56:56)

That's my actions. I'm talking about my beliefs.

B (56:58)

Totally. Totally. I'm saying that I keep seeing this discourse, you know, on TikTok about him, and I'm like, yeah, I disagree with a lot of stuff he's doing, but I also do, like, anyone right now or, like, I do support in a soft way anyone right now who is, like, like, going against full dictatorship.

A (57:13)

Yeah. I wish we could just get. I wish we could get a working person. I wish we could get a working person. I wish we could get an organizer, a, like, union organizer from the South. Like, I wish we could get a person who has an actual job, who's not a fake figurehead for a company, who's not a politician, who's not super rich, a real working person who lives in a real place that understands the issues and has some charisma. I wish we could get them. Them pour all this money that is always being thrown around behind them and do something like that instead.

B (57:41)

I think that we will.

A (57:42)

I would love that.

B (57:43)

I think we will. I mean, I think that Zo run shows. I mean, I remember when I followed Zo Ron, he had like, I don't know, like 27, 000 followers or something. It's like what he's at like almost like over 4 million. And it's like he's just one example of like how hungry everyone is for exactly what you're saying. Yeah, I don't think he's like this. I don't think he's one in a million people. I think there are more people like Zo Ron and I think that that Zon, the movement behind him right now has shown how hungry people are for exactly that.

A (58:08)

So I think he's great for New York. Yes, I think he's great for New York. I'm very excited about him for New York. And we need to. We need to find the things that work about somebody like Zuron for the other places and make it work for everywhere. It's like here. Zoan is perfect for New York. And now we need to find like, I think Graham Platner is that person in Maine probably. He's like an oyster farmer from over there.

B (58:26)

Yeah, very cool.

A (58:27)

I think like a teacher is probably that person for Iowa. Like finding who. Who that is for every place.

B (58:33)

I would love to get teachers on a mic. More and more is what I would like to say. My teacher friends were already not doing well and lately it is worse than. Yeah, worse than I can imagine. I'd love to get a teacher on the mic.

A (58:43)

Would be fun.

B (58:44)

Yes. A hundred percent.

A (58:46)

Not one of those annoying ones.

B (58:47)

Gavin. Gavin's your teacher. He would never.

A (58:49)

Some teachers are annoying.

B (58:51)

Who's the worst teacher you had?

A (58:52)

I'm not going to say her name. I won't dignify her with that. But she knows who she is.

B (58:57)

Who's the best teacher you ever had in Washington? Why?

A (58:58)

Pam Constant. My high school English teacher, Pam Constant.

B (59:01)

Does she come to stand up shows?

A (59:04)

I don't know if she's been. I don't think she's been to one.

B (59:06)

When we first started doing shows together randomly, like afterwards, someone would be like, I taught Caleb in high school. And I'd be like, they're coming out to shows.

A (59:12)

Mine would never come out. I had some. I had some great teachers across the board. Pam's just the. Ms. Constant is the person I connected to the most. And we've had like quite a few lunches since I graduated. We had Keep in Touch.

B (59:21)

That's beautiful.

A (59:22)

Yeah, she's just great. She was, she was never. She was just like she was ally in a fun way where she wasn't like. She wasn't, like, trying to be that thing with that. Like, some teachers were like. Some teachers were trying to be your hero. And she was just like.

B (59:33)

Well, they were like, had, like a rainbow flag.

A (59:35)

Like, no, not even that, but just, like, trying too hard to be, like, cool with the kids. Where Pam was like, I'm not your friend, but if you need anything, let me know.

B (59:41)

Right.

A (59:41)

You know, it was very, like, boundaried and, like, I just. And she's a great teacher, too. She cares about writing and reading a lot, and she taught writing in a way that I thought was really beautiful.

B (59:49)

I love that.

A (59:50)

Yeah.

B (59:50)

Yeah. She's like, I'm your teacher, not your friend.

A (59:52)

Yeah.

B (59:52)

That's always, like, a parenting style that I think is really interesting. Like, some people be like, I'm your mom, not your friend. Friend.

A (59:57)

Yeah.

B (59:57)

Where some parents want to be like, we're friends.

A (59:59)

Yeah. Which one. Which one do you think you'll be?

B (60:02)

I am leaning towards that. I probably won't have kids right now, but I'm always down to change my mind because I love kids so much. I just am aware that I'm 32 and I. It's not happening this year for sure.

A (60:12)

Yeah, you might not keep one. If you carry it. You might carry it for someone else. There's a lot of options, you know.

B (60:17)

That I. I actually really well, because I want to be pregnant so bad. I just think it sounds so incredible. Can you imagine the love for your body that you have being pregnant? Like, it's incredible. Insane.

A (60:25)

I. That's some people's experience also.

B (60:27)

I would literally be such a diva with it. Like, anywhere we'd go, I'd be like. Like, I would, like, want to be lifted and stuff, you know? Come on. Because it's just like, sorry, I'm growing, baby. I. I really. And it pays well. It really does. Two of my friends, one I went to high school with, like, their. I don't know all the terms. One of their things didn't take. One of the eggs didn't pop or whatever the. And then so then, like, they're. The person who was going to carry it for them was like, her schedule was getting where it maybe could have happened. And I really debated it for a second, and I told them I was like, I need to get one more acting job. That, like, I feel like I'm in a place in my career that is okay. And then I would maybe do it for you.

A (61:00)

You won't be getting paid when you do it for me, it'll be for the love of the game.

B (61:04)

Which is crazy because you said you wouldn't have sex once for it to happen.

A (61:07)

No, I'm not gonna have sex.

B (61:08)

If you're not paying for pain, then you better have sex. I'm getting, like, kind of threatening.

A (61:12)

Yeah. Really, really interesting dynamic.

B (61:14)

Cut that.

A (61:15)

No, we're leaving.

B (61:16)

You won't let me talk about. Sounds square.

A (61:18)

Pay me or fuck me.

B (61:21)

Really fair. Really fair.

A (61:22)

That is fair.

B (61:23)

Yeah. Thank you.

A (61:23)

I've always said about guy, when I'm into a guy, he either needs to fuck me or kill me. Enough with the friend stuff.

B (61:30)

It works.

A (61:30)

Enough with the friend stuff.

B (61:31)

And it works. No, but would I do the friend thing? I think that I would be. I think I would explain the nuance to my kid and I would be like, I would love for us to someday be friends when you get older. But I'm gonna probably be more of like a parent figure during this age. My baby six months.

A (61:48)

Six months.

B (61:48)

Six months.

A (61:49)

So someday, I think in a different stage, we'll obviously have a different relationship with the dynamic right now is giving parents.

B (61:54)

If I was your friend, I'd say you look like a sloppy little, you know. No, I would never. That's why I do parent until later.

A (61:59)

Thank you.

B (62:00)

Yeah, I think. And then I would. The reason that I'm gonna be jealous of my friends who have kids is deeply, deeply. Because of when they're adults. I think that is the coolest part. Like this age with my parents is everything to me.

A (62:13)

Yeah.

B (62:13)

Like, I just feel like it's like you get to. Yeah. Like, do you feel like your relationship with Kelly has changed? Obviously.

A (62:19)

For sure. She got on anti anxiety medication and that was big for us. She had some. We were friends for most of my childhood. And then there were a couple years in my teen years where I was a nightmare because I was a teenager. But she was also untreated anxiety disorder.

B (62:32)

Yeah.

A (62:33)

And even she will say, like, getting on anti anxiety meds changed her life, made her so much. But she. There were a couple years there where I was being a nightmare. Cause I was a teenager. But she was being so unreasonable about everything because of her anxiety that I would just be like, you're being fucking crazy. And she'd be like, I'm not. And it's like, you are. And also I could tell I was being annoying. And she was. It was hard.

B (62:51)

Well, the big thing for me that you just talked about, which is the big switch that happened with me and my parents is not living together. I don't ever want to live with my mom. Like, I don't want to live with you. And when we don't live together, it's amazing. And when we do live together, like, I've done stints of it again, and I go, oh, I go, when we back and we back. You know, I do not enjoy living with my parents. It just is not the we. We live on a different pace.

A (63:14)

You know, that's true about you.

B (63:15)

Yeah, it really is.

A (63:16)

What's this segment for you?

B (63:18)

Is there a photo of me on there?

A (63:20)

Don't worry about what's on here. You know what this is. You've been on the show before.

B (63:24)

I know. It's been a long time, homes.

A (63:26)

It's time for the True or false segment.

B (63:27)

Okay. I did really bad last time.

A (63:29)

It's been a long time because you've refused to come on.

B (63:30)

I stop.

A (63:33)

Just so everyone knows.

B (63:34)

I wish I could say what you said to me about it once, but I.

A (63:36)

What?

B (63:36)

I say, you go, you go, you go. It's bad for your career and mine that you watched the podcast. And I said. I said, I know. I said, I know. It's best for me. And then guess what? We actually didn't fight. We left it at that and we cooled down. And I said, it's because I wanted to get here. Yeah, I can know it. Keep it in, keep it in. It's funny. And I'm back.

A (63:54)

We're not keeping it in. That's hilarious. I love when I say shit like that.

B (63:58)

Okay, cool.

A (63:59)

All right, this is the True or False segment. I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said is true or false. False. If you get 10 or more correct, you're going to win US$50. Okay, you ready?

B (64:11)

Yes, I'm ready.

A (64:12)

Water is the only substance on Earth found in all three forms. Liquid, solid, and gas. False. True. Potatoes are grown from potato seeds.

B (64:23)

False.

A (64:23)

False. The International Space Station is closer to Earth than San Francisco is to la.

B (64:28)

False.

A (64:29)

True.

B (64:30)

Wait, wait, wait. Say that again.

A (64:31)

The International Space Station is closer to Earth than San Francisco is to la.

B (64:35)

Okay.

A (64:37)

Florida State. Florida Straits. Florida State's biggest rival is the University of Miami.

B (64:44)

False.

A (64:45)

True.

B (64:46)

What? I thought it'd be uf. I don't follow sports, but I did go there. Go Seminoles, but not really change the name.

A (64:54)

Fruit Loops are all the same flavor, just different colors.

B (64:59)

False.

A (65:00)

True. Rose Byrne.

B (65:02)

This is the worst it's ever gone.

A (65:03)

Rose Byrne was born in England.

B (65:08)

True.

A (65:09)

False. Australia.

B (65:10)

I don't even know this girl.

A (65:12)

A group of caterpillars is called an army.

B (65:16)

Oh, that's true. True. It's funny. False.

A (65:22)

True.

B (65:22)

What the hell? No, I get that one.

A (65:27)

Yeah, you get that one.

B (65:27)

It's only two. Come on.

A (65:28)

The Home Depot is older than Lowe's. False. False. Campbell Soup slogan is good. True. True. Your MCL is in your shoulder.

B (65:44)

False.

A (65:44)

False. Your knee. The first known cat video was recorded in 1894.

B (65:52)

What? True.

A (65:57)

Every odd number contains the letter E when written. Written in English.

B (66:01)

Every what letter?

A (66:02)

Every odd number contains the letter E when written in English.

B (66:07)

The year of. This. So fast. I have to do this fast. Every odd number.

A (66:10)

The point of the segment is.

B (66:11)

Yeah, you're right. You're right. Okay. False.

A (66:13)

True.

B (66:16)

I'm like, dumb.

A (66:16)

Ms. Frizzle. Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus's first name is Courtney.

B (66:23)

False.

A (66:23)

False. Valerie. Rosie o' Donnell is an EGOT winner.

B (66:27)

False. Should be.

A (66:28)

False. Should be. The average credit score in the United States is 555.

B (66:33)

Slower than that. False.

A (66:34)

False. 705. How'd they do?

B (66:39)

Really bad.

A (66:40)

Really strong comeback. But nine.

B (66:42)

Yeah.

A (66:42)

One of the really strong comeback.

B (66:43)

One of the worst yet, though I would say no in the game.

A (66:46)

You have some weird conceptions.

B (66:47)

No, I don't. I really like myself, but I don't think I know that much.

A (66:50)

I didn't say it was about yourself. Was the interesting part.

B (66:52)

What I'll say is the number part is crazy. That they all have ease now. I'm, like, really thinking on that. Okay. God, I really could have just locked in on that.

A (67:02)

Chance gets a lot of these wrong, just so you know. So feel free to research, because people, wait.

B (67:06)

We'll be like, that's not true.

A (67:07)

People in the comments will be like, we'll go toe to toe with Chance. And he always claims he has it right, but sometimes I've seen them proven wrong.

B (67:13)

The cat video, I was like, what camera are we on? You know what I mean?

A (67:15)

He's fuming right now. Yeah.

B (67:17)

Yeah.

A (67:17)

He's so mad.

B (67:18)

You get into it with the comments.

A (67:19)

The biggest one was the bears can't swim. And people really went after me on that.

B (67:24)

Everyone was like, I've seen a bear swim. Yeah.

A (67:26)

Chance has a type of anxiety that's really prone to being spun out about something like that. Specifically.

B (67:30)

Well, it's also really funny because it's just like, anything's gonna swim if you toss it in the water.

A (67:34)

That's not true.

B (67:36)

I mean, like, A bear, like, probably can't swim, but it's like he's drowning, like he's gonna figure something out. A lot of people, I feel like, who are like, can't swim, it's like they really, like, they drown. Some drown, but most your body starts to do some stuff.

A (67:50)

I cannot tell you how wrong I think you are.

B (67:52)

What if I say the age is like 14 up? Of course I know if you, like throw a baby in there, they're not gonna be able to do it.

A (67:57)

No. Most people who can't swim, when they end up in swimmable water, they drown.

B (68:02)

Whatever. I almost died by fire.

A (68:03)

I do know that about you.

B (68:05)

You're trying to make it. I'm like, I'm like, I know that people have died by water, but I've almost. Have you ever, ever almost died?

A (68:10)

Yeah.

B (68:11)

What was it?

A (68:11)

I drove through a tornado when. When I was like 18.

B (68:15)

You're chasing it?

A (68:16)

No, it chased me. Unfortunately, I don't with storms like that.

B (68:21)

I'm not one of those people who chase tornadoes. There's a really. That's a special type of breed.

A (68:25)

They're scary. They're really, really scary.

B (68:26)

It's a scary type.

A (68:27)

Holmes, what's so true to you?

B (68:28)

What's so true to me? So I thought about this and was like, oh, you're a comedian. You should be funny. And then I was like, no, I'm not going to. So what is so true to me that I've been thinking about all the time lately is that I fucking love getting older. And getting older. And aging rocks.

A (68:46)

Yeah.

B (68:47)

And I want that to be like, more of a thing. I think, like so much about me was like, getting older is gonna suck every. Everything everyone told me was like, getting older is gonna suck your. Your body's gonna hurt. People are gonna like, you know, you're gonna lose work. Like, try to be young forever. And every single year I'm like, I love this more and more.

A (69:04)

Yeah. And you are still young, which is another part of it. It'll be interesting to see how that feels. At like 45, 50.

B (69:09)

I'm still young. In their 50s. 60s be like, God, 60s are everything. Or like, you know, 70s are everything. And I'm like, I really think there's a. I know more, and I know more of, like, what makes me feel better. I know who I like to spend time with more. Yeah. I think. I just think there's so much focus on the couple. I'm not naive enough to be like, nothing is hard about getting older. Like, it's like, yeah, it sucks that maybe your, like, knees hurt more or, like, you know, that your face looks different or whatever. But to me, I think there's just so much focus on those ones. And I'm like, like, I would say 95% of everything getting older, it just is amazing to me, I think so.

A (69:48)

Much of life is perspective, and I think that it. I think that people. People just dwell on. I don't know. Aging is one of those things where I feel. I feel very far away from people who are really intense about it sometimes, because as much as we kid, I'm like, I feel the same way about people. When people talk about being fat, a lot of, like, former fat people, especially speaking of earlier, we'll talk about. They're like, yeah, when I was fat, no one looked at me. I couldn't. I. I was ignored. I. People treated me horribly. And then I lost weight. And the most surprising thing was how nice people are. And I was like, that kind of sounds like a you problem, because I light up the room, so hear that? I don't know what to tell. I'm like, there's. I just feel very distant from that. And sometimes when people talk about aging in the same way, where they're like, I turned 30 and everything got worse, I'm like, I feel like you have a bad attitude.

B (70:30)

Well, and not only that, but it's like. Like, everyone's so nice. Those people who just switch on you are the worst people in the world.

A (70:37)

Right?

B (70:37)

Where it's like, what we've talked about a lot is like, I don't know. As I've gotten older, like, the guys who used to hit on me when I was 18, and they were like, 34 or whatever. Yuck. You know? And it's like, one of those things where I'm like, now I can see that. Where if someone doesn't talk to me. Cause I'm like, you know, maybe look older than someone that they'd want to date or something. I don't want them to talk to me. Like, I think the things that come with getting older that make people upset are, like, the things I actually love.

A (71:00)

Like, yeah, I think getting older is so cool. I've liked it every year. And I also. Also acknowledge that we're still very young. And so I'm like, yeah, I leave space for, like, maybe in our 40s and 50s, we will feel different. I don't think we will, because I think we both also are people who choose. We choose the positive perspective anytime that we can. Even when things are Negative.

B (71:17)

Well and it's just like literally a. I mean it's just such a gift to be able to get older. Like, I mean I saw what I was doing a joke the other night about how like the prince of Egypt was like 9 years old or something like that. And I was just like, they used to have princes at nine because they were all dying by like you know, 18 or whatever. Like I was, was like we get to live in this time period where we get to live to like 100 maybe or whatever.

A (71:35)

And I'm like, that won't be my story. Could be I'm not living to 100.

B (71:39)

You, I could see you being 100 and just being so.

A (71:41)

I'll tell you one way or another, I'm not living to 100.

B (71:45)

What? Which age will you be like? Absolutely not.

A (71:48)

I don't know because I haven't gotten there. But I know that probably if I get to the 70s, 80s situation, there's probably a day in there where I go, it's been five fun.

B (71:57)

I'll be running tea, I'll be the dog.

A (71:58)

No, there's no chance I'm doing that. Like 98 year old like wheeled out to their birthday party. All my love to those people.

B (72:05)

You see some of these people who aren't like that anymore, it's like crazy.

A (72:08)

Yeah. But they live in ways that I don't. They like, do they do yoga every day for two hours sometimes you see.

B (72:14)

A 100 year old and she's like running an iron man. And you're like that.

A (72:17)

You're like, that's her story.

B (72:17)

Yes. And I'm like, I can't do that.

A (72:19)

That's her truth. I won't be doing that.

B (72:20)

I can't be doing that. No.

A (72:21)

Yeah, I'm not doing that now. I'm certainly not going to do it then. What's your least favorite part of being older? Yeah.

B (72:28)

The oppression in our industry.

A (72:31)

But that hasn't really happened to you yet.

B (72:33)

It does sometimes people will say it like it happens in ways that it really genuinely does sometimes. And it happens. But I'm so lucky. I'm like, I'm like how fucking snuck in. You know what I mean? Like I'm very lucky with my path in like the fact that I got to be well and you know what I mean? It happens brain wise from things I read. And that's I think why I said also that I love agency because I want there to be more like rhetoric around that. Because that is my truth in my day to day where I was Reading Wikipedia pages of actors and stuff, growing up being like, how the fuck could I do this? Growing up in Nebraska and Florida, like, how could I do this? And they would all be like, I. I, you know, gotten my first movie at 16. Or like, lots of times it was like 5 years old or whatever. And so a lot of it is like, the storytelling from other actors.

A (73:14)

Oh, for sure. It's happening.

B (73:15)

Yeah. So that's my least favorite part, which is, like, like I said, gonna change. I don't feel like that is a forever thing at all.

A (73:22)

All. Yeah.

B (73:23)

What's your least favorite part of getting older?

A (73:24)

Probably all the people dying, Holmes. Guess what?

B (73:33)

It's done already.

A (73:34)

We did it. We had an episode.

B (73:36)

Probably all the people dying is so funny.

A (73:39)

I love you so much.

B (73:40)

I love you so much.

A (73:41)

Thanks for.

B (73:41)

I love you so much.

A (73:42)

Tell people where they can find you and don't be a coward.

B (73:44)

I won't be at all. You can find me on a line. Underscore homes. Underscore homes. But more importantly, I'm going to start a monthly show at Union hall, so look out for that. And of course, overcompensating season two. We will film soon. But yeah, just going to be back into live performance coming up, so look out for that on my pages. And also, when you're not doing that or listening to this, get offline, throw.

A (74:05)

Your phone, tell them your address. Oh, my God, you really did. That's. We'll put it on the screen in case people couldn't hear. Love you so much. Thanks for doing it.

B (74:14)

Love you, baby.

A (74:16)

That was a Headgum podcast.

B (74:18)

What's up, everybody?

A (74:19)

I'm Kyle Mooney and what's up, everybody? I'm back.

B (74:21)

Ben and man. Ooh, I got. We got something to tell you.

A (74:24)

Oh, yeah, we definitely do.

B (74:26)

Yes.

A (74:27)

It's a brand new podcast on Headgum. That's right. And it's called what's Our Podcast? Yep. And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast should be about. Yeah, we don't. So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about. And then we try riot.

B (74:43)

Yep.

A (74:43)

Guests like Mark Marin, Jack Black, Brittany.

B (74:46)

Broski, Caper Land, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter.

A (74:49)

And Tim Ball, Landon Axler, Joanie McGree. And Dender. And Dender. New episodes release every Wednesday, so subscribe to what's Our Podcast? On YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms.

B (75:04)

Yeah, I'm gonna go do it right now.