From Being Shot-Point Blank to Developing Men to Walk with God | Carlton Young #social333podcast #73

Summary

Social 333 Podcast Episode #73

Title: From Being Shot-Point Blank to Developing Men to Walk with God | Carlton Young
Host: Chris D. Bentley
Guest: Carlton Young
Date: November 22, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, host Chris D. Bentley sits down with Carlton Young—Army veteran, men's development leader, and survivor of multiple near-death experiences—to discuss transformation, faith, trauma, and the power of accountability and brotherhood for men. Carlton shares his remarkable story of surviving being shot at point-blank range, the challenges of PTSD and recovery, and how these experiences shaped his mission to build communities that help men heal and walk in purpose.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Carlton’s Background and Mission

• Introduction to Carlton (02:12)
  • "I am a husband. I'm a father. I am a man of faith...my mission is just to help men to transform themselves, to be empowered and be equipped to be the person that they were designed to be." —Carlton Young (02:12)
  • Carlton shares about his military service, struggles with PTSD and anxiety, and commitment to maximizing his "second chance" at life.

Surviving Trauma: The Shooting Incident

• Recounting the Near-Death Experience (03:15–08:41)
  • Carlton describes multiple close encounters with death, culminating in being shot at point-blank range as a young man. He vividly recalls the initial numbness, the immense pain, losing consciousness, and experiencing a "bright light" moment.
  • "I saw a dark light and I saw a bright light. And the bright light said, it's not time yet." —Carlton Young (03:40)
    • Carlton believes this was a spiritual moment and a sign that he still had purpose to fulfill.
  • The bullet hit his liver (the only organ that repairs itself) and narrowly missed his aorta and spine, leaving the bullet near his spine to this day.
  • Memorable detail: The arduous recovery, multiple surgeries, a lingering fever, and the visual of his father reading the Bible at his bedside drove home the significance of his survival (06:41).

The Aftermath: Wake-Up Calls and Life Transformation

• Catalyst for Change (08:41–09:19)
  • Carlton’s family, their faith, and his own spiritual experience propelled him to reevaluate his path.
  • "If you play Russian roulette long enough, you're going to lose. So that was kind of the start of my metamorphosis and it changed my life." —Carlton Young (09:17)

Discernment and Relationships Post-Trauma

• Heightened Awareness and Community (10:47–12:36)
  • Chris observes how physical adversity clarifies who is genuinely supportive.
  • Carlton agrees: "It's like I've been fortunate enough to be aligned with people who see something in me...aligning the pieces and the dominoes in place for me to walk out the purpose." —Carlton Young (11:32)
  • Both discuss how deep adversity sharpens discernment and reveals true relationships.

Faith, Letting Go, and Trusting the Process

• Lessons in Surrender (12:06–17:04)
  • Chris and Carlton reflect on spiritual lessons about relinquishing control and trusting God’s plan during times of uncertainty.
    • "He forces us to take our hands off the wheels. Because he knows what's best for us." —Carlton Young (13:03)
  • Carlton recounts a challenging 19-month period of unemployment after a successful sales career. His faith and community helped him endure without missing significant bills, reinforcing the idea of "daily bread" and patience.
  • "Now, was it tight? Some months...it was very tight in the stress of women. Like, my wife needed security...God is saying to me, if you trust me, I'll take care of you." —Carlton Young (15:04)

The AIM Framework: A Tool for Growth

• Breaking Down AIM (19:15–21:51)
  • Carlton explains his AIM framework—a philosophy for personal transformation, inspired by his military experience zeroing in a weapon.
  • Acknowledge: Recognize what needs to change or be accomplished.
  • Accept: Embrace the reality and necessity of change or improvement.
  • Action: Develop a concrete action plan.
  • Implement: Execute the plan with intentional discipline.
  • Measure: Regularly assess effectiveness and adjust as needed.
  • "A goal not written down is only a wish..." —Carlton Young (20:50)

The Importance of Brotherhood and Community for Men

• Men’s Groups and Accountability (21:51–29:11)
  • Chris raises the topic of male isolation and the lost art of male camaraderie.
  • Carlton advocates for spaces where men can be themselves, share openly, and hold each other accountable:
    • "There's a certain amount of camaraderie your wife can't give you...If you get with another brother...you can let other brothers see that chink in your armor." —Carlton Young (25:15)
    • He describes his Manu group (meetings on Zoom, GroupMe chat, events, and an upcoming conference) as a space for support, accountability, and vulnerability.
  • Power of Shared Struggles: Both Chris and Carlton share how discovering others with similar struggles (including addiction and mental health) was transformative and affirming.

Breaking the Silence Around Men’s Mental Health

• Suffering in Silence, the Cost, and Connections (29:11–32:08)
  • Carlton and Chris discuss the sobering reality of men suffering alone, leading to avoidable losses including suicide.
  • "My goal is...to help men transform from the older version of themselves, to empower themselves and equip them with the tools to cope in life. Because, again, we suffer in silence, and we lose far too many men suffering in silence." —Carlton Young (30:28)
  • Both agree that sometimes a simple check-in (e.g., "Hey man, you all right?") can make a crucial difference.

Carlton’s Continued Journey with PTSD

• Decade-Long Struggle and Breaking the Stigma (31:02–32:08)
  • Carlton candidly shares how he endured PTSD for over a decade after the shooting, self-medicating without knowing his condition.
  • "I really didn't know or feel safe enough to say, this is my problem. And I came up in the era where...when you talked about a therapist and mental help...are you crazy?" —Carlton Young (31:53)

Resources and Getting Connected

• How to Connect with Carlton (32:10–33:02)
  • Carlton invites listeners to reach out via Instagram (@iam8020Nation), his website (www.carlton-young.com), or YouTube (I am 8020 Nation).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I saw a dark light and I saw a bright light. And the bright light said, it's not time yet."
  —Carlton Young (03:40)

• "The bullet hit the only organ that repairs itself, which is the liver...barely missed my aorta...it landed close to my spine, but it didn't paralyze me."
  —Carlton Young (06:44)

• "If you play Russian roulette long enough, you're going to lose. So that was kind of the start of my metamorphosis and it changed my life."
  —Carlton Young (09:17)

• "Sometimes it's about patience, too. I've learned that sometimes we say something doesn't work, but we haven't even given it an opportunity to work or to grow."
  —Carlton Young (16:06)

• "A goal not written down is only a wish..."
  —Carlton Young (20:50)

• "There's certain things, there's a certain amount of camaraderie that, that your wife can't give you... you can let other brothers see that chink in your armor, because sometimes that chink in your armor is the same chink another brother has."
  —Carlton Young (25:15)

• "We suffer in silence. Men suffer in silence all the time."
  —Carlton Young (26:51)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Carlton’s background & mission: 02:12–02:55
• The shooting and its aftermath: 03:15–08:41
• Metamorphosis and faith after trauma: 08:41–09:19
• Discernment and changing relationships: 10:47–12:36
• Faith, letting go, and trusting the process: 12:36–17:04
• The AIM framework for transformation: 19:15–21:51
• Brotherhood, male isolation, and accountability: 21:51–29:11
• Importance of addressing men’s mental health: 29:11–32:08
• Contact info and resources: 32:10–33:02

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Conclusion

This episode is a powerful exploration of resilience, the role of faith, and the life-changing importance of male community and accountability. Carlton Young’s journey from trauma and survival to faith-driven purpose offers hope and practical tools—not just for men, but for anyone seeking transformation and deeper connection.

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For more on Carlton Young and to connect with his men’s community:

• Instagram: @iam8020Nation
• Website: www.carlton-young.com
• YouTube: I am 8020 Nation

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Summary by Social 333 Podcast Summarizer

Transcript

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[Chris Bentley]

Hey, welcome to the Social 333 podcast. I'm your host, Chris Bentley. Today my guest is Carlton Young. Carlton, how you doing?

[Carlton Young]

I'm doing great. Thank you for having me.

[Chris Bentley]

Awesome. Tell the audience a little bit about yourself. What do you got going on?

[Carlton Young]

My name is Carlton Young. I am a husband. I'm a father. I am a man of faith. I have several communities that I build for men that are, you know, trying to overcome the hurts and the traumas of their past that they haven't dealt with. So basically, my mission is just to help men to transform themselves, to be empowered and be equipped to be the person that they were designed to be. So that's kind of my goal and my mission. I'm an army veteran, six years. I'm a PTSD and anxiety. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety. And I'm just a guy that just wants to maximize every opportunity I've been given since I've been given a second chance at life.

[Chris Bentley]

That's really interesting because I have a lot of stuff to talk to you.

[Carlton Young]

About.

[Chris Bentley]

Because I suffer from PTSD as well. Probably something a little different, but. So you survived multiple near death experiences, falling from a car, nearly sliding off a cliff, being shot at point blank. It's pretty crazy stuff.

[Carlton Young]

Yeah. When you really start to think about it, it's really wild. I didn't think about the car wrecks were when I was younger. You know, when you're younger, you just think you're invincible. You don't think about your mortality.

[Chris Bentley]

Right.

[Carlton Young]

But the final culmination of all those things was the gunshot room at point blank range. And that was an experience that changed my life and shaped me into the person that I've become. Still made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I often just try to get up and say, you know, I have another chance at life. You know, a lot of people may or may not believe this, but I saw a dark light and I saw a bright light. And the bright light said, it's not time yet.

[Chris Bentley]

It said that too.

[Carlton Young]

Yes. And so know that it wasn't my time, meaning there was more for me to do. I definitely wanted to, you know, maximize that opportunity. So my, my goal is to hear that you took everything that I gave you and you 10x what I placed in you because of your discipline, your tenacity, and your belief. So that's kind of my goal, man. And that's why, that's what drives me and motivates me.

[Chris Bentley]

So can I ask you about the. The gun show? Was it like a robbery or something? Or a beef or.

[Carlton Young]

Wrong place at the wrong time, man. Really wrong place at the wrong time. A bullet doesn't have a name on it, you know, and so hanging with my partners and, you know, just being young, just doing some things. And the next thing I know, I got a gun pointed at me and I hear powder and you hear that bang. Then you don't feel anything for maybe 30 seconds.

And then I say, you shot me.

[Chris Bentley]

Was it burning or anything?

[Carlton Young]

It's like taking like a fireplace poker and burning it till it's bright red and you see the fire and it felt like somebody just stuck that in my stomach. And it's like just this burning sensation that just. You just want the pain to go away. So I remember saying, you shot me. And then I remember I got my friends rushing around to try to, you know, see what was going on with me and how the pain was just so intense. I just wanted the pain to go away. So I was trying to close my eyes. One of my friends was slapping me, trying to keep me awake. And I'm just like, man, if I just close my eyes, the pain will go away. And I remember.

Them saying, stay up young. Stay up young. Keep your eyes open. And I'm just, like, you know, in shock. I remember the ambulance coming. I remember them putting me on the gurney. I had on a Dallas Stars hockey jersey. I had just bought it.

[Chris Bentley]

Wow.

[Carlton Young]

Because we were going out to have fun. I was stationed at Fort Hood. You know, I'm 22, 23 years old. I'm just young, living life. And I remember them cutting the jersey off of me and putting the oxygen over my face. And that's when I faded to black. And then, like I said, I remember that dark magnetic force, like, pulling me. And, you know, I'm like, I guess this is it in my psyche. And then I remember, like I said, that light that said, it's not time yet. And I just saw a bright light. And then I wake up several days later, and I'm looking at my dad sitting at the end of my bed with a Bible, reading the Bible. Some of my friends are standing around my bed, and I have.

Tubes everywhere. I got.

Morphine intravenously in me. So every time I got, you know, in a severe amount of pain, I would hit the button, knock me out. I got these tools in me. You see blood dripping out. I got the IV for food. And I just remember all that and just, you know, waking up and. And just seeing my dad in tears and obviously, you know, disheveled, worried. But, you know, I was able to make it. Even though that wasn't the only surgery I had. The initial surgery was to repair, like, a gunshot wound. The crazy thing about the gunshot wound, that's why I believe there's a God and I believe in faith, is because the bullet hit the only organ that repairs itself, which is the liver. The doctor said it barely missed my aorta. If it hits your aorta, you know, it's over. You know, it's fade to black. So it missed all the vital organs. It landed close to my spine, but it didn't paralyze me. But the surgeon didn't want to Go in and remove it because he feared that if he did, I would, it would paralyze me. So I literally had the bullet still close lies to my spine. So anytime I go for physical or, or X ray or something, they'll look at it like, do you know that you have this? And I'm like, yeah, it's been there for a while, you know, for a while now. And so that surgery, I had a fever that they couldn't break for like a week. It was like over 100, 100, between 103 and 105 every day. They finally broke that and then I had to go have another surgery to remove a blood clot from my lung. So I have this, you know, they call it, some friends call it a gang bang zipper. So I got this, this, this line right here where my body was wide open in the recovery process. I would have to pour, I, or somebody would have to, when I got released from the hospital, they would have to pour saline and put gauze in there every day and tape it up until it closed back up. And then I have a scar from, from here around to my back where they went in and removed the blood clot from my lung.

[Chris Bentley]

Wow. Was that like the specific moment where you were like, okay, like I need to make some changes in my life? Yeah, yeah.

[Carlton Young]

And then, you know, you got, I got a praying grandmama, I got a, you know, faith based mom. You know, my dad is faith based. And they like, man, how many more alarms or wake up calls do you need something? And I'm like, okay. And then I remember that it's not time yet. So I knew that, you know, eventually if you play Russian roulette long enough, long enough, you're going to lose. So that was kind of the start of my metamorphosis and it changed my life.

[Chris Bentley]

We were just talking off air in the last interview because I just had some surgery and I noticed and I still do because I'm only about 60%.

How genuine people are. And when you are hurt, I'm not talking about like you broke your finger or something, I'm talking about your hurt internal organ hurt.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

Like when you're hurt like that, you can pick up on people's intentions, their.

Genuine, you know, if they have genuine motives.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

And that's what I've kind of been experiencing is a lot of people that I just had to fire because it was just like they're stressing me out with their problems but not concerned about my problems. Wow. Or.

You know, like instead of being a cheerleader or somebody that you can count on, like they're off doing their own thing.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

And I just kind of noticed that. Did you notice a lot of that as well? Like that, you know, people maybe came in or that were in your life kind of like fell out of your life or people that weren't even in your life was like coming in, you're just like, wow, I can't believe like that person was that genuine or that nice or cares so much about me. I don't even know that person. Like that.

[Carlton Young]

Yeah, I've actually experienced that since the incident.

I think when you have any type of situation where you're dealing with your body, like the internal of your bodies, I don't know what takes place, but it's something that happens, Right. Like, I know people that have had heart, like my mom was talking about a friend that had heart surgery or heart transplant, how they just seem to be different. And I think that there's, you know, a spiritual basis to it. And then you kind of have a heightened sense of awareness around of certain things. So I've definitely noticed that, like my ability to discern kind of who I should interact with and who I shouldn't interact with. And so if I just get that feeling, I just kind of shy away from a person. And then it seems like as I've went through the process, it's like I've been fortunate enough to be aligned with people who see something in me or maybe God and just allowed them connect with me through what I've been through. And they see maybe where I'm going and what I'm trying to do. So it's like, it's like aligning the pieces and the dominoes in place for me to walk out. The purpose that I have that I'm focused on now, you know, I let.

[Chris Bentley]

I was in therapy and so I'm gonna go back at some point once I heal up. But one of the things that when I was in therapy, my therapist was very big in Christianity. I'm into Christianity. I'm also really big in spirituality. And she said that what I'm doing before the surgery and stuff was that I was trying too hard to drive the car and I need to just like take my hands off, let God do the driving.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

And whatever happens, happens. Yeah. And I always kind of like, kind of thought about it and you know, I'm Greek, so I'm hard headed, you know, like I'm just like whatever, I go do my own thing. Right. But it's really true. Like you Know when you get hurt or if you get in a bad situation, you got no real choice, you know, because you. You're in a bad spot.

[Carlton Young]

Yeah.

[Chris Bentley]

And you're just like, okay, well, I can't drive, so.

[Carlton Young]

Right. I think sometimes it's. It's. He forces us to take our hands off the wheels.

[Chris Bentley]

Right.

[Carlton Young]

Because he knows what's best for us. And it's funny that you said that. I have a men's group, and we meet on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and we were actually talking about that today, and I made the analogy of, like, your kids or somebody that you're helping do something, and you show them a couple of times, and then they think they got it. And so they'll be like. Like a kid when you're trying to teach them how to tie their shoe. And then, oh, I got it, I got it, I got it. And they're still doing it wrong. Right, Right. But they don't want your help. And then they get up and they fall, and then they turn around like, I need your help. I didn't do this. Right. So I'm learning in. In this space of life, too. Right. Is to just fall back and allow things to kind of work out for me. Because if I do the things that I believe that I'm supposed to be doing, he's going to align every chess piece for me, and I'll be able to walk into a door that typically I will run up into resistance against because I was trying to force it open myself. And I would be too tired or too worn out to try to even walk through the door. So that pressure of even as men, right, we have this pressure to perform. We have this pressure. We put everything on our shoulders, and we think if we don't do it, it's not going to get done. But what I've learned in this process for myself, because even I just navigated like a season of being unemployed for 19 months. I was a sales director at a company that got bought by a private equity firm. They kept us for a certain amount of time, and then at that time, they just started cutting everybody. And, you know, I thought it was going to be pretty quick and easy for me to pick up a job because I've been in sales for the last 15 years, pretty been very successful. As a matter of fact, Presidents Club, top performer. So I'm like, I didn't want to go back into management. I said, I just go find me an individual contributor job. And literally it took 19 months for me to get that job. So in that Process, I learned that I had to trust God. Me and my wife didn't miss a mortgage payment.

[Chris Bentley]

Wow.

[Carlton Young]

We didn't have many late bills. Now was it tight? Some months. Especially towards the end, it was very tight in the stress of women. Like, security. My wife needed security. Security of know what's going on. And God is saying to me, if you trust me, I'll take care of you. So it was like the children of Israel in the wilderness when they just got just enough. So I've learned in that season that I just have to take my hands off things and trust that the outcome is going to work for my best benefit.

[Chris Bentley]

I think that's the toughest thing.

[Carlton Young]

Oh, yes. Especially when you're a go getter.

[Chris Bentley]

Yeah. Because that's what I'm like. I'll be like, be really honest. I'll be like, okay, well, this is just, you know, companies are working out great. I'll go start another company.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

We're gonna go sell shoes. Okay, well, I don't know a thing about shoes. Crap. All right. We're gonna go sell, you know, whatever. Shampoo. Right, Right. You know, like, I'll just find something. I'll create something. That's all I've been doing. Like, if this is doesn't gonna work right now, then I'll create something else. This doesn't work. I'll create. Honestly, I just really just need to just stop.

[Carlton Young]

Right. Sometimes it's about patience, too. I've learned that sometimes we say something doesn't work, but we haven't even given it an opportunity to work or grow. Yes. Or to grow. And I found out for me, sometimes I get upset because it's not working out in a timeline or a way that I created in my mind that it was never supposed to work out. Right. I have a plan, but God has a plan. Right. Have you ever seen the meme with the little girl and the depiction of Jesus? And she has the little bear and he has the big bear behind him, behind her, his hand. And she. He wants the little bear, but she doesn't want to give the little bear up. And he's like, if you give this up, I'm gonna give you this. You just have to trust it. And so that's what I'm learning in this season, is trusting it. So even, like, I'm building a business where I do, like, keynote speaking corporate. I go, I do some leadership training because I've been in leadership since I was about 23 years old. And I literally thought I was going to be able to walk out of corporate.

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[Carlton Young]

With my connections and I will be able to just land gigs. Land gigs. And it was the Sahara desert for a while and I'm like, what's going on, man? So, but it's just taught me, right, that I need to stop creating this narrative in my mind. And if I say that I believe in the higher power and I believe in God and I trust God, that what God is, wants is going to be, but it's also going to be in the design that he has. And then what I've learned too is Nick Saban, right? He talks about this all the time. He talks about the process. He tells the players, don't worry about the scoreboard. You focus on the process. The end of the game, the win is a result of me trusting the process. So I took that analogy for myself. And I can't worry about what the scoreboard shows if I just show up in the process. And who I become in that process is actually the prize. Because now I'm a person that has the capacity to manage and grow more.

[Chris Bentley]

Talk to me a little bit about the AIM framework and MindsetU. I know you talked a little bit about MindsetU, but I know you got the AIM framework, so talk to me a little bit about that.

[Carlton Young]

So the AIM framework is something that I came up with one night. I do a lot of reading and listening to the podcast and reading the Bible because I'm trying to. Jim Rohn says, a form of education will make you a living self. Education will make you a millionaire. So I always try to just educate myself and I'm like, what can I do to move my life forward in the simplest, easiest way? For me to remember and something that I could just do on a daily basis. So one night I was thinking about when I was in the military and we would go to the range, and when you first get your weapon, you have to zero the weapon to hit the target, right? And so if you don't adjust the sights, you won't be able to hit. You won't be able to aim and effectively hit the target. And so I came up with the AIM framework. And A stands for acknowledge. Like, acknowledge what you're trying to do, who you're trying to become, or what your deficiencies are. After you acknowledge it, you accept it. Like, you accept that I need to change this or I need to become a better person in this space. And then when I do that, I come up with an action plan. So that's the A is acknowledge, accept action. So once I get an action plan in place, then I move to the I, which is the implement. See, there was a time in my life I had a lot of good ideas, but I didn't implement those ideas. I didn't put them on paper. I didn't. I didn't execute. So oftentimes they said that.

Wish not written down is only. Is only a wish or something like that, right? I can't remember the exact verb is by. But a goal not written down is only a wish is what they say. So now I implement the action plan, and I do it intentionally, like, with discipline. So every day I get up, like, my goal is to work this plan that I have for my life, whether it be personally, whether it be corporately, with physical health. I think you can do that. You can use this plan in any space of your life. So once I implement it with intention, I'm using discipline. Then I go to the measurement, right? The M stands for measure my methods. So I measure daily, whatever works for you, weekly, monthly, you measure what you're doing. You, you, you analyze if it's actually working. And if it is, then you continue down that path. If it's not, you tweak it. And then you come back and you analyze what you've done. And so as aim, as aim, as acknowledge, accept action, implement with intention, and measure your methods.

[Chris Bentley]

I wanted to switch a little bit. I know you got mindset, you.

I had a gentleman on the show and something I really believe in, which is guys hanging out with guys. And I got like a little bit of ribbing online about it. And some people think that.

Maybe they're homophobes or whatever, right? But, like, I would. I Have a lot of isolation. And it's self imposed isolation because I just create and I work a lot, right? And.

And I talked to my therapist about it, and I just, I need to just have hobbies, right? And like, stuff that I'm really, really excited about. So it could be that I'm excited about shooting pool or golfing or maybe working out or maybe watching the cowboys, right? Even though I don't like the cowboys, right? Whatever it is that, like, it's hard.

[Carlton Young]

Not to like them, but it's like.

[Chris Bentley]

Whatever it is that.

You have some sort of interest in and getting a bunch of guys. And we had a guy that was on the show, like yourself, that is really into Christianity and he built like a brotherhood of Christian brothers. And they just go out and do stuff. Nothing exciting, nothing crazy. Maybe they go shoot the pool, maybe they go get some wings, whatever it is.

And I think that's one of the biggest problems right now with men is that the female. And I really don't want to get into the male female stuff, but I think the female drives.

That feminism drives away guys hanging out with guys just to hang out, right? Like, if it'd be like, hey, me and you're gonna go hang out, we're gonna eat some wings, watch a game.

Oh, I never knew this guy. You never brought him around. What are you guys doing? Like, is he's gonna go like, look at girls, blah, blah, blah, right? And then I think that's the thing that divides a lot of those groups. Talk to me about Manu. Like, is that something similar to that, where you guys get together and not only look at scripture, but also go do events and stuff like that?

[Carlton Young]

Yeah, actually we do. So we meet on Zoom, Tuesdays and Thursdays. We actually have a group on Groupme where we can interact with each other, right? Men can check in and say, I'm struggling with something today. Pray for me. I'm going for a job interview. You know, I need some advice on, you know, something I'm dealing with my wife, my son, or my daughter or just an issue, right. I think the problem is, you know, there's certain times that you need to be isolated because you can get clarity and you can kind of, you know, quiet the noise. But once you get that clarity, you need that community to help you, right. Move forward. Who's holding you accountable? If you're going to make a wrong decision, who's going to say, no, Chris, that's the wrong thing to do. You shouldn't do that. And so that the group that we have, that we've created. That's what it's about is holding each other accountable. It's like, I need to talk. Everybody always talks about iron, sharpen iron. But people don't realize that iron, sharpening iron is friction against smoothness, right? So it's that friction to help sharpen the other brother or that man to make sure that they are showing up as the best version of themselves in their home, on their job, in their business, in their relationships. So I think that they're, they're imperative, right? There's certain things, there's a certain amount of camaraderie that, that. That your wife can't give you. There's a level of understanding of the issues that you face as a man. If you share it with your wife, in some spaces, you know, it might make you look as weak to her, right? But if you got. You get with another brother, right? And in our community, it's a place to be just transparent. Be. Be yourself, right? You don't have to be dad. You don't have to be this tough guy, right? You can let other brothers see that chink in your armor, because sometimes that chink in your armor is the same chink another brother has. And now he's like, I'm not going through this by myself. I got somebody that understands me. Because we suffer in silence. Men suffer in silence all the time. So we meet via groupme, you know, we do events and outings, and then we actually have a conference that I'm doing in March where we're going to come together. First evening is just going to be just us get together. Maybe go to topgolf or do something or putt shack or something that men like to do, right? And I think also is when you are aligned with your purpose and you show up as the best version of yourself, the woman that you're with should trust your judgment in the people that you hang around. Now, I can't stop any other man from doing what they do, but I'm at a space where I'm not gonna make any man make me do something that I don't wanna do, right? So you don't have to worry about me doing what they do. And secondly, at this point in my life, I don't want to be around people that are not elevating themselves anyway. Like the people I'm hanging around. Like I'm hanging around people that have the same mindset that I have, a growth mindset. I have a mentor that's several steps ahead of me in life. And so my aspiration is to get where he's at somewhere. And then the other pieces, I look behind me and try to grab somebody that looks like me at a certain point in my life, because I understand that everything that I went through, I survived it. Because my assignment is to help the person that used to look like me or the person that looks like me in my younger years.

[Chris Bentley]

That's really interesting because I had that guy on the show, and I was suffering from an addiction. I really don't want to get into it, but he suffered from the same thing. And we were talking kind of off mic, and I was like, hey, you know, like, I had this issue, and I've talked to a couple other people, and, like, they had that issue too. And he was like, bro, Like, I had the same issue. And I was like, yeah. And then, like, I stopped doing it, and I stopped, like, partaking in that, you know.

In that addiction. And then it was like. It was like nothing. Like, I was just like, oh, that was really stupid. Like, I can't believe I get stuck like that. And he was like, yeah, I did the same thing.

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

And I was like, what? Like, you have a problem with that too? And it was like, really, like, mind bending to me because I thought I was the only person that had that, and I thought that was completely normal.

[Carlton Young]

Wow.

[Chris Bentley]

You know, like, I was just like, oh. Like, I have this issue and this is what I do. And he's like, oh, yeah. Like, I have the same issue. And I did the same thing you did. And like, I was like, what?

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

That's crazy. And like, if I had found him earlier or if I'd been in the group or in his stuff or in a space like you have, it would have been like, chris, brother, like, what are you doing, man?

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

Like, we don't do that kind of stuff.

[Carlton Young]

Exactly.

[Chris Bentley]

And I've been like, what? Or I used to do something like that. But, like, we don't do that. So, Chris.

[Carlton Young]

Right?

[Chris Bentley]

And I'm like, oh, how'd you do it? Like, what? And how do you stop?

[Carlton Young]

Right.

[Chris Bentley]

It's wild.

[Carlton Young]

Yeah. And I think the thing is too, like, when you get in those spaces and you realize this is no judgment zone. Right?

[Chris Bentley]

Right.

[Carlton Young]

You feel okay enough to say, I have a problem with this. And then the other person that is suffering in silence with it, too, and is in shame and doesn't want to admit it, now they're free to say, I have the same thing too. And I got out of it this way. How did you do it? And now you two can come together and kind of be an accountability system to each other, you know? And that's. That's what, you know, being in community is about as well, right? Is. Is accountability. Right? When you say, Chris, you come to me and you say, man, I want to. You know, I want to build this business. I want to get in the best shape of my life, and I want to, you know, read a book a month. So now you got an accountability partner that says, hey, where you at with this? You said you wanted to do this. Where we at? Why are you not. Why are you not doing it? And then it just makes you remember your why, and then you push past this. So that's what it's about, right, Is just being transparent. You know, my goal is, like I said, to. To. To. To help men transform from the older version of themselves, to empower themselves and equip them with the tools to cope in life. Because, again, we suffer in silence, and we lose far too many men suffering in silence.

[Chris Bentley]

I agree. I agree. I've lost a lot of friends that commit suicide.

I was in some dark places before.

[Carlton Young]

I've been there.

[Chris Bentley]

And.

All I really needed was just, hey, man, you all right? All right.

[Carlton Young]

You good, bro?

[Chris Bentley]

Hey, you want to go lift some weights? Hey, like, you want to go? Whatever. Like, I got this new Xbox game, even though I'm not really into Xbox or whatever. Like, why don't you come over? Yeah, stop thinking about what you're thinking about, right?

[Carlton Young]

Like, come over, take your mind off your problems.

[Chris Bentley]

Right, Right.

[Carlton Young]

That's. And that's a good thing. And I've been there, too, right? When I tell you I suffer from PTSD and anxiety, so I actually went through. Went through probably the first 10 to 12 years of my life after I got shot, not even knowing that I had ptsd. And so I'm replaying the incident like a movie at night. I can't sleep. I literally got to a point where I would just drink myself to sleep. Like, just drink, drink, have a couple shots just so I can go to sleep, not realizing that that's not doing any good. Now I'm dependent on alcohol. And then I'm in a dark place, and I'm making bad decisions and doing things that, you know, is not a representation of who I wanted to be. But I didn't have. Really have a community to talk to. I really didn't know or feel safe enough to say, this is. This is my problem. And I came up in the era where, like, in my community, like, when you talked about a therapist and mental help. Like, are you crazy?

[Chris Bentley]

Yeah. Yeah. You soft?

[Carlton Young]

Yeah. Why? Who you want to talk? Why we don't talk about what goes on, right? Yeah. It stays in the house.

[Chris Bentley]

Right.

[Carlton Young]

So.

[Chris Bentley]

Carlton, if somebody want to get in touch with you, wanted to talk to you more about your programs, maybe the men's group, where would they reach out to you?

[Carlton Young]

They can reach me @.

I am 8020Nation@ I am 8020Nation on Instagram. They can go to my website, www.carlton-young.com. again that's www.carlton-young.com and send me a message. And then you can go to my YouTube channel, which is at I am 8020 nation as well and leave a message there. You can shoot me a DM on Instagram as well. And we will chat and we'll get you connected to the community. You can go to the website. It'll have an update of the men's event that we're getting ready to do. So if you want to connect, please do see.

[Chris Bentley]

Why. I appreciate you coming on the.

[Carlton Young]

Show. Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed.

[Chris Bentley]

It. Awesome. Thank.

[Carlton Young]

You. Thank.

[American Giant Narrator]

You.

My place in tech changes every day, but I don't fear the future because I'm with the leader, pluralsight, Their online learning platform has the hands on expert led courses I need to master new tech skills and create bigger impacts so I can learn quickly and stay ahead. With pluralsight, I don't fear what's.

[Carlton Young]

Next. I embrace.

[American Giant Narrator]

It. Tap [e-mail] and see for.

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Yourself.

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