Marriage Math I Robert Madu I Social Dallas

Summary

Social Dallas Podcast: “Marriage Math” with Robert and Taylor Madu

Episode Date: May 31, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode, presented by Pastor Robert Madu and featuring Taylor Madu, serves as the culmination of a six-week series on relationships called “Easy to Fall.” Titled “Marriage Math,” the sermon dives deep into the biblical, practical, and emotional dimensions of marriage, exploring how two people—often from radically different backgrounds—are called to become “one.” Pastor Madu employs humor, real-life examples, and scripture to unpack God’s intention for marriage, highlighting the difference between planning for a wedding and preparing for a lifelong covenant.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. The Difference Between Planning for a Wedding and Preparing for Marriage

[06:33–08:08]

• Lavish weddings vs. lasting marriages: Pastor Madu jokes about modern wedding proposals and the extravagant spending associated with weddings, highlighting that the average American wedding costs $36,000.
  • “If you want job security, be a wedding planner. Yes, because people will spend a lot of months and a lot of money planning the wedding.” (06:46)
• Memorable Quote:
  • “It is possible for you to have a beautiful wedding and a broken marriage.” (08:10)
• Core Question: Are you spending more time preparing for a day than you are for a lifetime?

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2. The “Marriage Math” Equation: 1 + 1 = 1

[09:18–11:15]

• Marriage Math is hard: Unlike regular math, marriage isn’t about adding two and getting two; it's about two becoming one.
  • Illustration: Regular math: 1 + 1 = 2. Marriage math: 1 + 1 = 1.
  • “That is the hard part. That is the equation. That is the mystery. That is the challenge.” (09:51)
• Compatibility: “It’s hard to find two sinners that are truly compatible. Why? Because we all come from the Adams family.” (11:19)
  • Compatibility, communication, conflict resolution, counseling, love languages, finances, date nights, and sex are important—yet these are all behaviors, not the foundation.

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3. Foundation of a God-Designed Marriage: Belief Before Behavior

[13:11–14:03]

• Right belief leads to right behavior:
  • “Rarely does [God] start with behavior. He starts with belief.” (13:27)
• Marriage is God’s idea, not man’s:
  • “Marriage was a divine institution before it was a government institution.” (14:03)
  • “Marriage didn’t originate in culture. It originated in the mind of God. And because God is the author of marriage, he has the authority to define marriage.” (18:29)
• Scriptural support: Ephesians 5, Matthew 19, Genesis 2—all point to marriage as “two becoming one.”

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4. Key Steps in “Marriage Math”

a) Believing

[13:47–14:03]

• Believe marriage is God’s design, not a human invention.

b) Leaving

[23:13–27:09]

• Severance for unity: “He says, leave and then be united. That order matters.” (23:14)
• Illustration with dolls (“leaving the box”):
  • “They are so tied to how they saw marriage models in their home. It takes some scissors sometimes to cut what they were connected to.” (25:20)
• Memorable Quote:
  • “I wonder what box you need to get out of so your marriage can thrive. I wonder if you’ve left your parents house but your parents house hasn’t left you.” (25:47)
• Priority shift: Your spouse becomes your top earthly relationship—even above your children.
  • “Children are a blessing from the Lord. But your spouse is your covenant.” (29:21)

c) Cleaving

[31:35–34:13]

• Meaning: Cleaving is “to cling, to hold fast, to remain attached—a picture of two things being bonded together so tightly that separation becomes difficult.” (31:37)
• Contrast with contracts:
  • “Contract means, I’m with you as long as you keep up your end of the deal… That’s contract. Covenant says, I am committed to you even when you are not holding up your end of the deal.” (31:58)
• Sexual intimacy belongs in the context of covenant:
  • “Intimacy was never designed to exist apart from covenant.” (32:38)
  • Challenges cohabitation: “Study after study… not by believers, has shown that cohabitation does not improve marital success.” (33:54)

d) Becoming

[37:39–40:00]

• Marriage is a journey, not a destination:
  • “The wedding happens in a day, but becoming happens over decades. The ceremony takes minutes, but becoming takes years.” (38:21)
  • “You become one conversation at a time, one apology at a time, one act of forgiveness at a time...” (38:23)
• Self-sacrifice: “Because becoming requires dying. You gotta die to yourself. Don’t get married if you don’t want to die to you.” (38:59)

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5. God’s Blessing Is Behind the Marriage Covenant

[34:14–36:06]

• “It’s just paper”:
  • Pastor Madu uses the analogy of “Madu Money” vs. real money: both are just paper, but only real money is backed by something powerful—the U.S. government.
  • “The power is what’s behind the paper. God says, when you come in covenant, I get behind the covenant.” (35:25)
• Memorable Quote:
  • “There’s a God that says, I got power that comes behind the paper because this is something I designed. And if you do it the right way, there’s a blessing on the other side of it.” (35:25)

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6. Marriage as a Gospel Metaphor

[41:14–42:17]

• Marriage points to Christ and the Church:

  • “This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (41:14)
  • “Marriage always points to a bigger picture… a healthy marriage points to what your savior did for you.” (41:28)
  • Christ’s sacrificial love for His bride is mirrored in marriage.

• Role of husbands and wives:

  • Husbands are to “love” like Christ loved the Church; wives are to “respect.” (43:42)
  • “Husbands, hear me. You cannot have a healthy marriage if she does not feel loved. That’s the command. Love. Ladies, you cannot have a healthy marriage if he does not feel respected. That’s the command for you to respect.” (43:42)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It is possible for you to have a beautiful wedding and a broken marriage.” (08:10)
• “Regular math: one plus one equals two. Marriage math: one plus one equals one.” (09:51)
• “Rarely does God start with behavior. He starts with belief.” (13:27)
• “Marriage was a divine institution before it was a government institution.” (14:03)
• “They are so tied to how they saw marriage models in their home. It takes some scissors sometimes to cut what they were connected to.” (25:20)
• “Children are a blessing from the Lord. But your spouse is your covenant.” (29:21)
• “Contract means, I’m with you as long as you keep up your end of the deal… Covenant says, I’m committed even when you’re not holding up your end.” (31:58)
• “The wedding happens in a day, but becoming happens over decades.” (38:21)
• “Don’t get married if you don’t want to die to you.” (39:00)
• “There’s a God that says, I got power that comes behind the paper because this is something I designed. And if you do it the right way, there’s a blessing on the other side of it.” (35:25)
• “Marriage always points to a bigger picture—that if you want to see what it points to, a healthy marriage points to what your Savior did for you.” (41:28)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [06:33–08:08] – The problem with focusing on weddings over marriage
• [09:18–11:15] – The “marriage math” equation and its challenge
• [13:11–14:03] – From belief to behavior in marriage
• [23:13–27:09] – Leaving prior attachments for true union
• [31:35–34:13] – The difference between covenant and contract; the meaning of cleaving
• [37:39–40:00] – The lifelong journey of becoming one
• [41:14–42:17] – Marriage as a metaphor for the gospel

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Closing Prayer and Encouragement

[46:30–48:53]

• Taylor Madu prays over the congregation, marriages, and those desiring marriage, inviting God’s presence for healing, restoration, and strength.
  • “God, you are greater. And what you did on the cross is greater.” (47:10)
  • “The greatest gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage.” (29:21)
  • Encourages surrender, humility, and making Jesus the center: “You would pull them back together and align them, God, with your word and with your truth, that you will heal and you will restore.” (47:50)

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Final Takeaway

Marriage math is a lifelong process that requires:

• Believing God’s design (foundational belief)
• Leaving prior priorities and attachments
• Cleaving (forming true covenant and intimacy)
• Becoming one through continual self-sacrifice and growth

The hope, challenge, and beauty of marriage ultimately point beyond itself—to the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Transcript

[Pastor Prince]

Are you glad to be in God's house today? You look good. You look like you got confident trust in the Lord today. Come on. I want to make some noise for our social global family that's watching from around the world. We love you. And if this is your first time here at social or your first time in a long time, would you just give me a wave? I want to see you. I want to see you. My people, good to see you.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Come on, Social. Y' all could do better than that. I'm so glad y' all are here.

[Pastor Prince]

Yes. Well, if you're new here, we have a word for this year. Our word is trust that this is the year we are going to anchor our trust in the Lord. And we don't want shaky trust, ratchet trust. We want confident trust in the Lord. And that word comes from our scripture of the year that we declare every single Sunday is found In Hebrews, chapter 10, verses 35 through 37. We read this every single week with uplifted, caffeinated voices. Come on. How many of you got it memorized already? Can I see your hand? All right. You know, almost half the year is gone. How many are still working on it? You still working on it? All right, all right. You got time. Come on. Let's declare it as a family. Y' all ready? So. Remember the great reward it brings you. Patient endurance is what you need now so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. For in just a little while, the coming one will come and not delay. Y' all sound good. Sound real good. And remain standing. We're gonna jump into our text for today, y'. All.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

For the last six weeks.

[Pastor Prince]

For the last six weeks, we have been talking about relationships. Relationships. We've been in a series called Easy to Fall. For the last six weeks, we've said that relationships, they are the currency of life. And if you are going to have a healthy life, you need healthy relationships. And God wants you to have healthy relationships. And, y', all, we have covered so much in this series. Come on. We have talked about dating. We've talked about womanhood. We've talked about manhood. We've talked about all kinds of stuff. I want to talk about something else today, and I want to look at Ephesians, chapter 5. Ephesians, chapter 5. But before we go to it, if you are married, make some noise in here today. I'm judging the health of your marriage by the decibel of that screen. If you're in here, and you desire to be married? Make some noise. We gonna find out. Ephesians, chapter 5. Starting at verse number 31, the apostle Paul writes these words. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Can you say amen? The two will become one. Two. It's gonna become one. I wanna tag a title to this text today and preach to you from this thought. Marriage math. Marriage math. Not girl math. They were 20% off. They were basically free. Not boy math. Yo, I'm gonna pay off this truck in five years, but it's an investment. Marriage. Marriage, math. Would you bow your heads with me? It's gonna be a long prayer, but bear with me, father. Speak to us today. Amen. You may be seated in the presence of the Lord. Marriage math Social fam. I knew this day would come. This is the final message in our relationship series. Easy to fall, y'. All. This is the last one. This is the last one. And as they say, all good things must come to an end. Ooh, that's funny. You know, nobody ever says that statement on their wedding day. All good things must come to an end. Never on a wedding day have two individuals said, oh, this is amazing. This is so good. We're gonna get married. But, you know, all good things must come to an end. Nobody has ever walked down the aisle to meet the one that they love

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

and said, you know what?

[Pastor Prince]

I think we gonna have a good seven years. A good seven years together. Nobody says their vows and say, man, I hope we at least make it till the kids graduate. I have done a lot of weddings and attended a lot of weddings, and I've never heard any couple say, I promise to cherish you and to hold you and to take care of you until boredom do our part. Nobody says that because the reality is nobody plans for their marriage to fail. Nobody plans for their marriage to fall apart. The problem is, nobody plans for it not to. Most people fail to plan for their marriage to actually succeed. And that's what I want to jump into today. I want to talk about marriage. And how are you planning for it? How are you planning for it? You know what we do plan for? We plan for our wedding. Oh, come on. We plan real good for the wedding. Matter of fact, let's just talk about yalls proposals. Y' all are on Another level this generation, I guess, because it has to be documented on TikTok and on Instagram. But y' all have some amazing, amazing. Just. Just the proposals, the footage and the drones that you have just at the proposals.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

It.

[Pastor Prince]

It blows me away. And. And these weddings. These weddings are absolutely elite. The money that we spend on weddings, everybody plans their wedding. If you want job security, be a wedding planner.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Yes, because people will spend a lot

[Pastor Prince]

of months and a lot of money planning the wedding. I did my research. The average American wedding today costs about $36,000. $36,000. I also did some other research. You know, that's about 200 counseling sessions. I'm just saying. 36 GS on a wedding. In fact, researchers studying more than 3,000 marriages found a surprising correlation. Couples who spent more on their weddings often had shorter marriages that bless somebody that's planning right now. Seems like we don't need to spend all this money on this. Hold on now. I am in no way, shape, or form saying that the more expensive your wedding is, that means you're going to have a divorce. I'm not saying that at all. Matter of fact, if you want to have a lavish wedding and you can afford it, do it. Do it. I mean, do it all. Fly to Fiji. Get the fireworks, get the flower wall. Have dolphins go up in the air in the background. Do it all.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Invite me,

[Pastor Prince]

amputee. I will officiate it for you. I have no problem with lavish weddings. I have no problem with beautiful weddings. Nothing against it. What concerns me is when people spend more time planning for a day than they do preparing for a lifetime.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I have problems when people put more

[Pastor Prince]

energy and effort into the event than you put into your covenant. Because it is possible for you to have a beautiful wedding and a broken marriage. In fact, maybe one of the hardest things for two people to ever attempt to do is to become one. Because getting married and becoming one are not the same thing. Becoming one, hear me? That is the hard part. It is hard for two people to become one. And let me tell you, marriage is harder than you think, because the enemy hates it more than you know. It's hard for two to become one. Which is why I want to talk about marriage math. Look at your neighbor say, marriage math. Marriage math. Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'.

[Taylor Madu]

All.

[Pastor Prince]

Marriage math is the hardest math in the world. I'm telling you, it is hard to do marriage math. I would rather be afflicted by algebra, confused by calculus, and triggered by trigonometry than to step into the daunting Task of doing marriage math and not realizing what it's going to cost you. Because marriage math is not easy.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You want to do regular math?

[Pastor Prince]

That's easy. Come on, let's just put regular math on the screen. In regular math, every math teacher will tell you, in regular math that one plus one equals what? Some of y' all a little slow. It equals what? Two. That is easy. That is regular math. But marriage math is different because whenever two people enter covenant, whenever a marriage happens, immediately a different equation enters the earth.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And.

[Pastor Prince]

And here's the equation. It's not one plus one equals two. Here's the marriage math equation. One plus one equals one.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Woo.

[Pastor Prince]

That is the hard part. That is the equation. That is the mystery. That is the challenge. How in the world do two different people from different families, different backgrounds, different personalities, different spending habits, different communication styles,

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

different restaurant preferences, different things, Thermostat settings.

[Pastor Prince]

I could go there, but I'm not. How.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

How do those two people become one? How does two become one?

[Pastor Prince]

You know, most of your pastor's mental space is filled with trying to get you to get it. And I will do anything to illustrate a point. I almost had a big iron two on this stage, an iron two, and say, how in the world can I get an iron two to become a one? You know, you cannot bend an iron two to become one. You know what? You got to get a blowtorch and a face mask.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And it's not until you just blowtorch

[Pastor Prince]

that thing and make it pliable can

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

you turn a two into a one. I'm trying to tell you the challenge

[Pastor Prince]

that is before you. Whenever you get married, it's hard for two to become one. How do you do this equation? One plus one equals one. And so many people would give all kinds of answers. Some people will say, well, it's easy, Pastor. Compatibility, compatibility. You got to be compatible, girl. That's why I didn't work with him. Y' all weren't compatible.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

We got to have compatibility.

[Pastor Prince]

And I understand what you're saying, but

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

don't forget the first message in the series. I told you.

[Pastor Prince]

All of us are hashtag jacked up.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

All of us are fallen. It's hard to find two sinners that are truly compatible. Why? Because we all come from the Atoms family.

[Pastor Prince]

Yes.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

That's why you creepy. And you spooky.

[Pastor Prince]

And you altogether kooky. Because when sin entered the world, it broke us. It messed us up.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Even if y' all are compatible right now, keep on living. I bet there's gonna come a time where you will be incompatible. But some people say, no, it's compatible. Some people say, no, it's communication.

[Pastor Prince]

It's communication. That's how you get the equation of one plus one equals one. We gotta communicate more. Okay? And okay.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

There's validity to that.

[Pastor Prince]

Some people say no, it's conflict resolution. We don't fight.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Right.

[Pastor Prince]

Okay. You gotta stop fighting, throwing stuff.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You got to stop being a storm trooper and just storming out whenever you get mad. It's conflict resolution. Some people say no, it's counseling. We just need therapy and we would be all right. Some people say no, it's because you

[Pastor Prince]

didn't read Dr. Gary Chapman's love Languages. You didn't read the love Languages. You sitting up here trying to give me quality time. I am gift giving.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Buy me something next time.

[Pastor Prince]

It's the love language. And there's validity to that. Y'. All, I was studying for this and I found out that they did a study survey on ladies and found out that most married women, they said that the most attractive thing they see their husband doing is house chores.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Fellas, I was this week old when I found that out. You mean to tell me that we are just one house cleaning away from the night of our life? I didn't know that's what they said. It's the love language. Love languages. Some people say no, it's finances. Finances. You want one plus one to become one?

[Pastor Prince]

It's the finances.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I didn't know your credit score was five. Oh, my good. If we could get this together, it would work. Some people say no, it's date night. We didn't have enough dates. We got to get our date night in. And then some people say, no, it's sex. That's what it is. It's sex. And hear me, all those things are great.

[Pastor Prince]

All those things are necessary. But all those things are behaviors. All of those are behaviors. And most marriage sermons start with behavior. Fix the behavior. But I've noticed something about our God.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Rarely does he start with behavior.

[Pastor Prince]

He starts with belief.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Because right behavior is the overflow of right belief. Before you can do marriage math, you have to believe in God's equation. You have to believe in the equation that God started in the Garden of Eden. Before we deal with the behavior, let's

[Pastor Prince]

first deal with the belief. So you want to do marriage math? How many want to do marriage math? Okay, let's do it. Number one. You're going to do marriage math. Marriage math requires believing. Believing.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

But what about his behavior?

[Pastor Prince]

We'll get there.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

But how about when she does this, we'll get there.

[Pastor Prince]

Let's start with believing. Believing what? Believing that marriage was not humanity's idea. It was God's idea. This is the fundamental core belief. You have to know that marriage did not originate in the mind of man. It originated in the mind mind of God. This was his idea. Marriage was not invented by Hollywood. It was not invented by culture. It was not invented by the courthouse. This was God's idea. Marriage was a divine institution before it was a government institution. And if you don't believe this, there's gonna be a struggle. This has to be at the bedrock of your behavior. How many know it's always right belief, then right behavior. This is why our text is so important today in Ephesians, because the Apostle Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus. And I want you to notice what he does in the book of Ephesians. He writes to this church that he wants to grow, that he wants to strengthen, that he wants to be mature. And he starts off chapters one through three dealing with doctrine. Then he goes from chapters four through six dealing with application. He starts off the first three chapters dealing with your belief. He does not start chapter one saying, husbands, here's what you need to do. Wives, here's what you need to do. He said, we're gonna get to that in chapter five. But before I start dealing with the behavior of marriage, I first need to deal with your belief. Do you believe right? Because right behavior flows from right believing. So he starts with doctrines. And then In Ephesians, chapter 5, he starts talking about the role of the husband and of the wife. And look what it says in verse 31. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. You see it? That's marriage math. Two becoming one. Here's my question, Paul, where you get that from? Where did you get this equation from of two becoming one? Where did you get the equation of one plus one equals one? Well, if you go to the Gospels, In Matthew, chapter 19, something interesting happens. The Pharisees pull up on Jesus and they ask him a question. Hey, Jesus, can a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? That's what they ask. You know why they asked that question? Because they were divided in that time period where some people said, hey, you can only divorce your wife if there was sexual immorality. And then there was another camp that said, no, it's not sexual immorality. You can divorce your wife for anything. If she burnt the pita bread and the hummus wasn't right. You can divorce her. And it was happening in that culture.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

People were divorcing.

[Pastor Prince]

Especially in that misogynistic culture, Men would

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

leave their wives over anything.

[Pastor Prince]

And so they come to Jesus saying,

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

hey, can we divorce for any reason? Basically, what's the grounds for us getting out?

[Pastor Prince]

And look at Jesus response. He says this in Matthew 19.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Haven't you read the Scriptures?

[Pastor Prince]

That makes me laugh. People that had the scriptures memorized, he goes, haven't y' all read the scriptures? They recorded that from the beginning, God made them male and female.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And he said, this explains why a

[Pastor Prince]

man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. And the two are united into one,

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

since they are no longer two, but one.

[Pastor Prince]

Let no one split apart what God has joined together.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Do you see Jesus doing the same equation, two.

[Pastor Prince]

That two must become one.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I love it.

[Pastor Prince]

Because they have confusion about marriage. And Jesus goes, if you got confusion, you need to go back to the origin.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Anytime there is confusion about something, go back to the origin origin and find

[Pastor Prince]

out the original intent of the thing. Which means Paul explains it, Jesus affirms it.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

But then let's go back to Genesis where it's actually established. Genesis, chapter 2, verse 24.

[Pastor Prince]

Watch this.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Do you see that? Jesus, Paul, are all pointing back to what God established all the way in Genesis. This is where he establishes what marriage is. He gets back to the bedrock of belief.

[Pastor Prince]

Because before there was a church, a

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

pastor, a government, a White House, a courthouse, or a wedding industry, there was a God. Marriage didn't originate in culture. It originated in the mind of God. And because God is the author of marriage, he has the authority to define marriage.

[Pastor Prince]

I'm going somewhere.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

The author has authority.

[Pastor Prince]

And from the very beginning, God's definition was clear. One man, one woman, one covenant, one lifetime. That is marriage. Now, I know today that is not a popular view in our culture, but at Social Dallas, we don't believe that we have the authority to redefine what God already defines. We don't have that authority. Now, don't get it twisted. Everybody is welcome at Social Dallas. We. We love everybody. I wish I would hear somebody being mean or hate speech.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I find out about it, I will

[Pastor Prince]

kick them in the name of Jesus. But. But we don't have the authority to redefine what God already defined. And this has to be at the bedrock of your belief. He says, here's my equation, one plus one equals one. But here's what fascinates me about the design. When he says, for this reason in Genesis, a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife. You gotta ask yourself this question.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Why are you saying that to Adam and Eve? He looks at Adam and Eve and

[Pastor Prince]

says, for this reason, a man shall leave his mother and father, and the two become one. Come on, y'. All. This Adam and Eve, they ain't got

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

no mama,

[Pastor Prince]

they ain't got no daddy.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

We in Genesis, chapter two. We already know.

[Pastor Prince]

He went in the dirt, built the man. Come on, put him to sleep.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

We had the first C section, took out the rib, created a woman. So what you talking about? The mother and father? What are you talking about?

[Pastor Prince]

Come on. This is a corny preacher joke, but it makes me laugh. If you get to heaven, you can know who Adam and Eve are.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Just look for the people that ain't

[Pastor Prince]

got no belly button. Some of y' all get that tomorrow,

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

too, because you got no mama and daddy. Why are we talking about mamas and dad?

[Pastor Prince]

Oh, it must be because you are establishing the design for marriage.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You must be establishing the principle of what marriage is.

[Pastor Prince]

How many. You know, design determines function. The design of something determines the function. Function of it. Okay, I'm staying on this point too long. But, you know, this week, I was at our future home, and they're doing demo, and they were taking out all the speakers in the theaters that they're gonna demo. Okay. This used to be the largest movie theater in the United States. That's gonna be our future home. Okay. Used to be AMC24 back in the day. And so they're taking out all the speakers out of the theaters, but we are keeping two of the theaters in that space while we keeping two of the theaters, because we're gonna have an overflow watch party room. So if you don't get in the main sanctuary space, you can go watch it. Come on. In the movie theater. It's gonna be dope. It's gonna be dope.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And we're keeping one of the theaters because Social Youth is gonna use that

[Pastor Prince]

theater for their worship space.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And so we're keeping two of them. So I watched them, like, loading up

[Pastor Prince]

the speakers from the theater, but then I saw them.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

They were taking out speakers out of

[Pastor Prince]

two of the theaters that we were keeping. So I was like, oh, no, they not.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I was about to call the popo.

[Pastor Prince]

I was like, hold on.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

What y' all doing? Y' all can't take the Speakers out

[Pastor Prince]

of this we keep in these theaters. But then I found out something. I found out that those speakers were designed for that movie theater. They started asking me, are you watching movies in these theaters?

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

I said, no, we're just going to

[Pastor Prince]

stream service from the main sanctuary into this.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

He said, oh, well, these speakers won't

[Pastor Prince]

work anyway because these speakers were specifically designed for watching movies.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You're gonna need some other speakers that are designed for the space that you're

[Pastor Prince]

gonna use it for.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And I started thinking to myself that

[Pastor Prince]

if speakers have a strategic design, how

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

much more God, who created marriage, he's got a design for the way he wants it to function and flourish.

[Pastor Prince]

Design determines function. So if you're going to do marriage math, what's the first thing you gotta do? You got to believe. It has to be believing in the right thing. What's the next thing that has to happen? Do I stop at believing? No, because Genesis 2. 24 says, this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. Let the church say leaves. Huh. So marriage math doesn't just require believing. It also requires leaving. Leaving.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Notice God does not say, marry your

[Pastor Prince]

wife and then leave your parents. He says, leave and then be united. That order matters. I used to think that leaving was speaking to just geography. Like, if you're going to get married, you should probably move out of your parents house before y' all get married. I still think that's wise. But I thought I was just talking about geography. I realized that's not just talking about geography. Don't miss this. It's talking about priority. Priority that if you are going to be married, God is talking about establishing a new primary relationship between you and your spouse. So before there can be true union, there must first be separation. Before two can become one, something has to lose. First place in your life. You gotta leave something before you can be united to something. Okay, I knew this is the part that some of y' all are gonna be like, okay, this is too much WordPress and you losing me. I know. I got you. I got you. I got you. Let me, let me, Let me make it real plain and visual for you. I got you. Okay, okay, okay. Come on back. Come on back, Come on back. Okay. He says, you want to be united, you want to be united. You gotta leave some things. This is actually how most people get married.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

A lot of people get married like this. You haven't left the box. You want a union, but there has to be something you leave. Something has to be severed for the two of you to establish something new in order for this marriage to work. Come on, sister, girl got to come out of here. And my guy Ken has to come out of the box. And now they're ready to be united. Now you see how easy I got them out of their box. That's because I told the team before time, make sure you cut the cord

[Pastor Prince]

to make it easy for me to get them out.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

But anybody who's got kids knows if you've ever tried to push, pull one of these Barbies out of the box. They are so tied to how they grew up. They are so tied to how they saw marriage models in their home. It takes some scissors sometimes to cut what they were connected to. Some sharp scissors, sometimes you gotta pull to really get it out of the

[Pastor Prince]

box so it can be united.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Ooh, I wonder what box you need

[Pastor Prince]

to get out of so your marriage can thrive. I wonder if you've left your parents house but your parents house hasn't left you because you're still fighting the way they fight. You're still responding the way your dad responded. You're still responding the way you saw your mama respond. And because you haven't left, there can be no true union. But in every marriage, let me fix Ken. If they're going to be united, I first have to leave. You notice my selection in the dolls, Ken with little melanin and Barbie. It's interesting because PT and I will do marriage conferences and all this stuff. And without that, I always get a question about how is it, you know, with like an interracial marriage, like, how does that work? And I get the question. But sometimes the question subliminally suggests that because I have more melanin, it creates more of a collision. And I try to let them know that melanin has been the least of how world's colliding.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Because every married person will tell you, I don't care.

[Pastor Prince]

Both of y' all blue, both of y' all purple.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

This is the collision of two different expectations. Two different vantage points. Two different perspectives are colliding together. Look at my parents who have been married for years. They got an amazing marriage, but it was still two different cultures collided. Same skin tone, different cultures. My dad is from Oweri, Nigeria,

[Pastor Prince]

colliding with Mount Pleasant, Texas.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Come on, that's foo foo and grits colliding together.

[Pastor Prince]

The challenge of marriage is asking ourselves, are we willing to leave the box, the mindset, the patterns that I came from, so that we can establish something new and have a connection. Hear me when you get Married. The challenge is learning how to leave. What shaped you so that you can build something new together? It's about priority. Hear me clearly. When you get married, your spouse becomes your first earthly priority. Your first. I'm talking about above your parents, above your friends, above your hobbies, above your co workers, above your social media. Amen. They become the priority even above. I'm gonna step out there. Your kids. I tell my kids all the time we were together before y', all, we gonna still be together when y' all leave. But how many marriages have you seen where the parents come together and the focus are the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids. And then they up and leave. And now you at Cracker Barrel looking at a stranger that you do not know because you prioritized your children above your covenant. Children are a blessing from the Lord. But your spouse is your covenant. And I tell our kids all the time, the greatest gift we can give you is a healthy marriage. That is the greatest gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage. Leaving means establishing a new primary relationship. For some of you. It means your friendships need some new boundaries. I'm talking about some of y' all just got married and all your friends are still single and y' all trying to still hang out with them. You might need a new boundary. If you got a man and all your girlfriends are like, girl men ain't nothing. You might. You might need to establish a boundary. If you just got married and all your single guys are going out and they're looking for ladies.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You got yours.

[Pastor Prince]

You might need a new boundary. Why? Because you have a new priority. I've talked to couples who had a husband or wife that had a relationship with a co worker of the opposite sex that made their spouse feel uncomfortable. Not because they were controlling or insecure, but because something was competing for first place. Listen to me. Anything that threatens the priority of your marriage has to be addressed. Because before there can be union, something has to lose first place. I wish it was just about leaving, but God gives us more. Genesis 2:24. A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. So marriage math requires what? Believing marriage math requires what? Leaving. I don't stop at the leaving. Now I have to be. But I don't like the word united. I like that good. King Jimmy Version King James Version says, a man leaves his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. So marriage math requires believing. Marriage math requires leaving. And marriage math requires cleaving. Cleaving. Now let's keep it 100. Nobody uses that word today. Come on. Nobody says cleave today. You have never in your life talked to somebody and say, how's the marriage going? I, you know, we're just working on our cleaving. Yo, what did he say? Cleavage.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

What is he talking about?

[Pastor Prince]

Nobody uses that word, but it's an important word because watch this. That word means to cling. It means to hold fast. To it means to stick to. It means to remain attached. It's a picture of two things being bonded together so tightly that separation becomes difficult. Leaving is what you walk away from. Cleaving is what you hold onto. Leaving is separation. Cleaving is attachment. Leaving says no to competing priorities. Cleaving says yes to this word. Covenant. Covenant. Not contract. Covenant. Contract means, I'm with you as long as you keep up your end of the deal. You do your part, I'll do mine. Oh, you ain't doing your part? I ain't about to do my part. That's contract. Covenant says, I am committed to you even when you are not holding up your end of the deal. Cleaving is connected to covenant. This is one of the reasons that the Bible consistently points towards marriage being the context for sexual intimacy, because intimacy was never designed to exist apart from covenant. When you come together physically, it is a picture of what you are doing with your life. I am intimate with my entire life. And so God says, I have created a context for intimacy because I just cannot give you my body and not give you my entire life. This is the context of cleaving. And so many people are trying to experience the glue without the framework God designed to hold it. Because intimacy was never designed to exist apart from covenant. And while I'm on topic, contrary to what culture says, living together before you get married does not prepare you for marriage. In fact, study after study, not by believers, has shown that cohabitation does not improve marital success. In many cases, it is associated with higher rates of marital instability. Why? There's no covenant. There's nothing keeping me down. I can pack up my bag as

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

soon as I see some crazy I don't want to live with.

[Pastor Prince]

Oh, no, I didn't know that I am out and so you can never be you. But there's something about a covenant that keeps you there that says, I made

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

a vow and I'm committed to the

[Pastor Prince]

thou that I made.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Ooh, I know I'm gonna get a

[Pastor Prince]

whole lot of claps on that.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

But that's cool, that's cool, that's cool. Marriage, math, Is hard.

[Pastor Prince]

Marriage math is hard.

[Taylor Madu]

I don't understand.

[Pastor Prince]

I don't like that pr. I don't agree. Talking about getting married, it ain't nothing but a piece of paper. That's all marriage is. It's just paper. Just a piece of paper.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You right.

[Pastor Prince]

It's just paper. But you know what else is just paper, man? It's just paper.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

This is paper, too.

[Pastor Prince]

One on it. 2003-004005-00600.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

This paper, too.

[Pastor Prince]

Oh, 700, my bad.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Anybody could use $700 in these.

[Pastor Prince]

700.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

My guy right here.

[Pastor Prince]

Come on, come get 700. Cause it's just paper. See, it pays to be on the front row at Social Dallas. There you go. Seven hundred.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

It's just paper.

[Pastor Prince]

Now y' all think I just blessed him.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

He looking at it, talking about, what in the world? Cause that's paper. It's a different kind of paper. Let me show y' all what I gave him.

[Pastor Prince]

Put it on the screen.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Look at what I gave him, right?

[Pastor Prince]

That's what he got. That's what he got,

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Madu Money. It's just paper. He was shopping and everything, got his Amazon cart. Cc, that's paper.

[Pastor Prince]

But guess what? This is paper, too.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

You know the difference between that paper and this paper? That paper is backed by the Social Dallas creative department. This paper is backed by the United States government. So, yes, it's just paper. But the power is what's behind the paper. God says, when you come in covenant, I get behind the covenant. Yes, it's just paper, but there's a God that says, I got power that comes behind the paper because this is something I designed. And if you do it the right way, there's a blessing on the other side of it. I wish somebody would give God some praise in this place today. There's power behind the paper.

[Pastor Prince]

I want this paper right here, not that paper. Both of them are paper. But there's something backing this paper. God says when you do it the right way, it looks like it's just a piece of paper, but no, no, no, no. I stand behind covenant. I bless covenant. I honor covenant. This has happened every time we've done this series, and I'm just going to insert it right here. Almost every time I do a series on relationships, we've had couples who have been living together and they say, you know what? We want to do it the right way. And they get married, and it is amazing to see the blessing that comes. Does it mean everything is perfect? You win the lottery and the Tesla's in your driveway. No, but it means God. This wasn't my idea. You designed this. So I'm getting in order and coming into alignment with what you designed. How many are thankful for the blessing that comes behind doing it the way God designed it? Worship team, join me. Marriage math requires believing. Marriage math requires leaving. Marriage math requires cleaving. And then it says that the two will.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

What? Will what?

[Pastor Prince]

Will become one flesh. So marriage math has to require becoming. It doesn't say they will be day one, but it suggests that we are becoming one flesh. Becoming. That means I'm on a journey. That means it's a lifetime. The wedding happens in a day, but becoming happens over decades. The ceremony takes minutes, but becoming takes years. I wish I could tell you one day you wake up, you're like, oh, we did it. We became one.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

No, no, no.

[Pastor Prince]

You become one conversation at a time, one prayer at a time, one sacrifice at a time, one apology at a time, one act of forgiveness at a time, one act of service at a time, one season at a time. You know why marriage is hard? Because becoming requires dying. You gotta die to yourself.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

All y' all that shouted that you

[Pastor Prince]

wanted to be married, I told you I was gonna ask you. We'll see. Don't get married if you don't want to die to you.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

If you want to be selfish, stay by yourself. If you don't want to address the issues that came from your box, stay by yourself.

[Pastor Prince]

Because it will reveal all of that in marriage. But are you committed to becoming? I can't preach this message without bringing out my bride, the lovely Taylor Madu. Y' all could do better than that. Come on. Marriage requires becoming. We don't stand here as marriage experts. We are celebrating 14 years.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

14 years.

[Pastor Prince]

And I will testify, and I know she'll testify. We are not the same same people we were when we got married 14 years ago. Yeah. It's been years of becoming. And one of the things we've learned in becoming is this right here. It's what we're doing right now, is that we might not always see eye to eye. Sometimes I'm over here with it, and she's over there with it. You might not always see eye to eye, but we are going to fight to keep walking hand in hand. To keep walking hand in hand. The unbecoming of a relationship starts gradually. 1. One act of bitterness, holding a grudge over time. And I want to give somebody hope today that the same way things began to unravel, things can come together if you commit to some saying, God, I Need your strength and your grace and the humility to say, let's keep on becoming. What's the power in that? Well, Paul tells us the power in it. Because right when you think he's just talking about marriage, notice what he does. He flips it in the text and

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

goes, oh, by the way, this is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. Hold on, Paul. I thought we were talking about husband and wife.

[Pastor Prince]

He's like, I know. I flipped the script on you.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Because the most beautiful metaphor of all the metaphors that God could have used about our relationship to him, he chooses to use this metaphor right here of a husband and a wife. Paul's going marriage always points to a bigger picture, that if you want to see what it points to, a healthy marriage, it points to what your savior did for you. How many are thankful he didn't wait for you to get your act together before he dies for you. He didn't wait for you to be perfect before he died for you. Matter of fact, he didn't die because you were so special and lovely. He died to make you special, to make you lovely. He said, I'll pay the price. It always points to the gospel, something bigger. This is why hell comes against this. This is why the enemy attacks it.

[Pastor Prince]

Because. Because of what this points to and when you are connected. 1, 1, 1. It is a picture of us, the church, being a bride and our bridegroom, who is Jesus, who paid the price for us, and how many are thankful that the coming one is coming?

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

And one day he will come and

[Pastor Prince]

he will get his br. He died to make us lovely. And I want some couples today to have hope even when you don't see eye to eye. We're gonna fight to walk hand in hand. Hear me, husbands. Paul has more language for us than he does for the ladies. Don't get caught up in the submitted part. He says we got to die like Christ, and my command is to love her. Husbands, hear me. You cannot have a healthy marriage if she does not feel loved. That's the command. Love. Ladies, you cannot have a healthy marriage if he does not feel respected. That's the command for you to respect.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Why does he got to tell us

[Pastor Prince]

to love and tell y' all to respect?

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Because that's what's hard for you to do.

[Pastor Prince]

I respect him when he starts loving me. I'll show her love when she respect me. That's how the separation happens. And God's calling us to have the grace and the strength and the humility to not give up on the formula because it's hard, but to trust him. I'm going to ask every married couple, if you're here with your spouse, would you stand to your feet? Would you take your spouse by the hand? Thank you, Jesus. This is what the enemy's after because of the picture this points to. This is what he hates. I'm looking at the couple that the relationship series. Y' all chose to do it the right way and got married, didn't they, y'?

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

All?

[Pastor Prince]

Yeah. Still here, still standing.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

How long y' all been married?

[Pastor Prince]

How many years is it now? Two years.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Two years ago.

[Pastor Prince]

That relationship series.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Say why?

[Pastor Prince]

Been together 11. Come on. But still becoming. Still becoming. Those of you that desire to be married, I'm gonna ask you to join these couples. Desire to be married.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Come on. Yeah, thank you, Jesus.

[Pastor Prince]

That's only if you desire. I'm. If you're good, that's fine. Paul had that special grace. I'm gonna ask my lovely bride just to pray, to pray over couples, to pray over those who desire to be married. What a beautiful opportunity for a community to have couples who are fighting to walk hand in hand into becoming and have people watch this that are dating and honoring God the right way and getting married and having kids. This is the beauty of what a church can be. So I'm just gonna ask her to pray over us today.

[Taylor Madu]

Father, we pause.

[Pastor Prince]

Thank you, Jesus.

[Taylor Madu]

We say thank you for this word today. The truth. The truth. It anchors us, it sustains us. It ultimately sets us free. And so we invite it and we receive it today. We present every marriage to you today, God, in your presence. Some marriages are thriving and flourishing, and yet some aren't sure if they're going to make it past the today. But I speak to those individuals that they would submit and surrender in humility, every detail. The enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy. And we're aware of that. But, God, you are greater. And what you did on the cross is greater. And I believe that you're giving these individuals insight and wisdom to be able to endure and press forward.

[Pastor Prince]

Jesus,

[Taylor Madu]

they will make it. Yes, Jesus, you will be okay when we surrender and give it to you. Father, you truly do the miraculous. And so I pray for those that are tempted to walk away, tempted to give up, tempted to get frustrated and leave God, that you would pull them back together and align them, God, with your word and with your truth, that you will heal and you will restore and you will redeem.

[Pastor Prince]

Because.

[Taylor Madu]

Because that is the God that you are. You are God. That makes all things new. God, thank you. And we're living testimony of that, Father. May you bring them back, God, to the altar. A place of grace and mercy for the other. That they would die to themselves and invite you into the center of it, God. And they would watch you work. Yes, Jesus, and heal. We thank you for the healing that's taken place right now. We thank you for the pride that is dying right now. We thank you that you are entering into the deepest places of their souls and you're healing them and you're freeing them, God. From pornography addiction and from past pain and trauma. God. You're healing them right now, God. Even in your presence.

[Pastor Prince]

Thank you, God.

[Taylor Madu]

We believe that you're doing it. There's hope for them as they take steps towards making you the the center. And Lord, I pray for the individuals that want and desire to be married. God, that you would give them the strength and the self control and the wisdom.

[Pastor Prince]

Yes, Jesus.

[Taylor Madu]

How to honor you, God. In the season of dating or in the season of singleness, Marriage doesn't fix it. But they would learn how to walk hand in hand with you as the helper, our Holy Spirit, that you would guide them them with wisdom, guide them with truth, guide them, God, with self control. So that when they do get married, Lord, you would be exalted. Have your way in this house today. Social global. God, we bless the people that are watching online. Thank you God, that you would be the center of our lives and that the enemy would be silenced. He has no power. He has no authority. Any demonic attack that has been assigned, no assignment can stand against the power of your word. In Jesus name. In Jesus name. In Jesus name. You are restoring. You are healing in Jesus name. Right here, right now, God, you are restoring. In Jesus name. The name above every name. God, we exalt you. We thank you for what you're doing today. And everyone says amen.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Amen.

[Pastor Prince]

Amen. I want to do one more thing. Just with heads bowed, eyes and closed. If you could just honor this moment. We never want to end the service at Social Dallas without giving somebody an opportunity to respond to Jesus, the one who modeled true love, who didn't wait for you to get yourself together. But while you were in your sin, died in your place. So just in this moment, heads are bowed, eyes are closed. I don't care if it's one person, you're worth it if you say, hey pr, I need to surrender my life to Jesus. How do you get the capacity to love somebody? How do you get the capacity to forgive. It starts with understanding what has been done for you and surrendering your life to this Savior. So with heads bowed and eyes closed, if you say, hey, pr, I need to give Jesus my life today. I'm not asking, do you have relationship with church? Have you surrendered your life to the lordship of Jesus? If that's you, I want to pray with you. Would you just lift up your hand high enough and long enough to where I could see it? If that's you, I see that hand. I see that hand. Thank you. I see that hand. Thank you, Jesus. Anybody else? I see that hand. Thank you, God. Just lift it up and put it right back down. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. Here, I want us to pray this prayer. We're all going to say it as one big family, but I especially those of you who responded, come on, I'm going to give you the words, but you say this from your heart. Would you say this? Say, jesus, I need you. I cannot do life without you. Jesus, I believe that you are the son of God. Jesus, I believe that you lived the life that I was supposed to live. And you died the death that I was supposed to. To die. You took my place. You love me so. Lord, I'm asking you to come into my life. Forgive me of my sins. Make me brand new. From this moment forward, I'm walking with you in Jesus name. Amen. Amen.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Amen.

[Pastor Prince]

Amen.

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

Come on.

[Pastor Prince]

If you meant what you prayed, would

[Co-Pastor or Worship Leader]

you give God praise today?