Maybe It’s Me I Robert Madu I Social Dallas

Summary

Podcast Summary: “Maybe It’s Me” | Pastor Robert Madu | Social Dallas Podcast

April 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In the launch of Social Dallas’ new six-week relationship series “Easy to Fall,” Pastor Robert Madu delivers a message on the importance of self-examination in relationships, titled “Maybe It’s Me.” Drawing from Genesis 3, Robert unpacks how all relational struggles can be traced back to humanity’s fallen nature, emphasizing the universal need to address personal shame, hiding, and the tendency to blame others. The episode moves from humorous and relatable stories to deep scriptural insights, challenging listeners to look inward first as they aim to cultivate healthy relationships—in a world that makes falling easy, but building hard.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Why Focus on Relationships?

The Quality of Life Is Tied to Relationships

• [05:19] Pastor Robert:

  “The quality of your life is deeply connected to the quality of your relationships.”
  Every high and low in life is tied to relationships; joy and pain bear a name.

• Church Application:
  Relationship talks aren’t just for singles or married people. “All of us are affected by relationships. This series is for everybody. If you’re watching right now, Social Globe, and you’re like, ‘I don’t talk to anybody. It’s just me and my cat.’ You need this series.” [03:00]

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2. ‘Easy To Fall’ – Series Tagline and Premise

Falling Is Natural, Building Is Intentional

• Falling into love, lust, cycles, and bad patterns is almost unconscious:

  “We fall into a whole lot of other things, too…lust, habits, addiction, bitterness…We fall into the same person, even though they got a different name…” [09:30]

• Language matters: “Easy to fall" is a phrase embedded in nursery rhymes and culture—hinting at the inevitability of mistakes due to our human condition.

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3. The Root Problem: Our Fallenness (Genesis 3)

Every Relational Issue Traced Back to the Fall

• The story of Adam and Eve’s disobedience is the origin of all relational dysfunction.
• Paul’s words in Romans 3—“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”—reminds us that our struggles are more about our fallen condition than merely our behavior.

  “Sin is what I’ve done. Falling short is what I fail to be.” [13:06]

• Personal anecdote: Media articles on love in Dallas and polyamory reflect modern confusion, but rarely does anyone ask, “Am I the problem?”

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4. Three Root Issues in Every Relationship

The Cycle: Shame, Hiding, and Blame

• Shame:
  First feeling after the fall—exposed, insecure, unworthy.

  “Shame is different than guilt. Guilt says what I did was wrong. Shame says I am wrong.” [35:30]

• Hiding:
  Instead of moving toward God or others in our brokenness, we withdraw, cover up, or stay on the surface.

  “God came looking for them…but they hid in the very environment He created for them.” [36:18] Realness about men:
  “Nobody hides like us [men]…We won’t communicate what we’re going through. ‘I’m good! No, for real. Nothing’s wrong.’ And you’re hiding…” [38:33]

• Blame:
  The instinct to blame others (and God) instead of owning up.

  “The woman you gave me!” (Adam blames both Eve and God.) [41:26] “You bring you everywhere you go.” [18:29]

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5. The Necessity & Blessing of Restriction

• God’s boundaries are protective, not restrictive.
  Visual with his kids complaining about rules.

  “When you get rid of the restriction and you get away from the protection…then you have the nerve to say, ‘I can’t believe God let me go through this.’” [29:04]

• Personal story about his strict father not allowing sleepovers, which he later saw was protection, not punishment. [30:11]

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6. Looking Inward First – “Maybe it’s Me”

• Modern culture’s default is to blame environment or terms, not self.
• The main takeaway challenge:

  “You bring you to every relationship. ...Maybe it’s me.” [18:29], [44:01]

• Healing requires honesty and self-exposure.

  “Whatever you’re hiding, hear me, it cannot be healed.” [39:35]

• Honesty in marriage: Candidly shares opening up about his struggle with pornography as bringing healing and freedom. [40:27]

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7. The Hope of Covering, Not Cover-up

• God’s Response:
  God’s answer is not condemnation, but covering through Christ.

  “I’m not coming to kill you. If you’ll be honest, I’m coming to cover you.” [44:01]

• “A covering is better than a cover up.” [45:16]

• Call to begin the series honestly—invite God to do work in me first.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “People are not as agreeable as ChatGPT. I wish they were.” [07:59]
• “Have you ever had somebody do you so wrong, that just to meet somebody else with that name is a trigger for you?” [07:07]
• “We fall into people’s DMs.” [10:51]
• “You think you can do relationships better than the one that made it?” [31:17]
• “God says, I can’t heal what you hide.” [40:01]
• “Are you going to spend your entire life walking around in shame, hiding, and blaming?” [42:45]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] — Who this series is for; importance of relationships
• [09:30] — Introduction: “Easy to Fall” concept & how it permeates our culture
• [13:00] — Theological reflection on Romans 3:23 (“all have sinned…”)
• [17:04] — Modern relationship confusion: “Dallas is not for lovers,” polyamory
• [18:29] — “You bring YOU into every relationship”
• [27:45] — Restrictions vs protections; analogy with kids and healthy boundaries
• [35:30] — Difference between shame and guilt; why shame is so debilitating
• [40:01] — “God says I can’t heal what you hide”; testimony about addiction and marriage
• [41:26] — Adam’s instinct to blame, how it reflects in us
• [44:01] — Honest self-examination; “Maybe it’s me” is the start of relational healing
• [45:16] — Praying for courage to stop hiding and receive God’s covering

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Summary Takeaway

Pastor Robert Madu sets the stage for the “Easy to Fall” series by stripping away relational finger-pointing and guiding listeners to examine their own hearts: “Maybe it’s me.” He outlines how humanity’s tendency toward shame, hiding, and blame seeps into all relationships, yet also points toward the hope that God offers—not through condemnation, but through grace and restoration. The message is packed with humor, candor, and vulnerability, inviting everyone—whatever their relationship status—to start with themselves, receive God’s covering, and build stronger connections in a broken world.

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For Further Reflection

Consider:

• Where are you prone to shame, hiding, or blame in your relationships?
• What are you covering up that God wants to heal?
• How might seeing God’s boundaries as protection transform your approach to life and love?

Listen to the episode for the full spiritual depth, stories, and communal prayer.

Transcript

[A]

Social fam, you look good in the house of the Lord. Do you like who you're worshiping next to? Were they singing on key or off? Don't do that. Don't judge. Make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Hey, I'm so glad that you made it to church today. Your face is in the place or online. Let's thank God for our social global family again watching from around the world. Come on. Let us know in the chats where you're watching from.

[B]

Did y' all miss me as much as I missed you last week?

[A]

I'm telling you, it was good to get a little refreshing, but it's just something powerful when we gather together. And I'm so glad that you're here today. You look like you have confident trust in the Lord. And if you're new to social, Dallas, you're like, well, what? What does that mean? Well, we have a word for every year, and our word for 2026 is trust. We're going to have confident trust in the Lord. And to remind ourselves, we declare our verse of the year every single Sunday. It's found In Hebrews, chapter 10, verses 35 through 37. Come on. Can we read it together? With uplifted, caffeinated voices. Come on. You missed last week, so you got to put some extra off in it this week. All right, y' all ready? So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Patient endurance is what you need now. Then you will receive all that he has promised for in just a little while, the coming one will come and not delay. Come on, somebody.

[B]

You believe that.

[A]

I'm telling you now more than ever. I know the coming one is about to come. Well, remain standing. We're gonna jump into our scripture for today. Stay standing. I know some of yalls feet are hurting, but you wore those shoes. I'm excited today because today we are beginning a brand new series called Easy to fall, y'. All. We're talking about relationships starting today. Five of y' all are excited about that. It's cool.

[B]

I already knew.

[A]

I already knew. Well, I already know. I already knew. Some of y' all gonna be like, for real. And let me just be clear. We're going to talk about this for the next six weeks. Relationships. Relationships. And I want to say this at the onset before I read the scripture. This series is for everybody. Everybody. Because it's a series about relationships. I say that because some people check out. I've been doing this five years now, and in times of relationship series, some people translate into, oh, they gonna talk about marriage. Oh, this is where they gonna encourage the single people to keep trusting in the Lord.

[B]

No, no, no, no. We might talk about some of that,

[A]

but how many of you know, all of us are affected by relationships? This series is for everybody. If you are watching right now, Social Globe, and you're like, I don't talk to anybody. It's just me and my cat. You need this series. Cause you need to get a dog. We all. We all deal with relationships. So I want you to lean in, not check out over these next six weeks. In fact, I want to do a challenge and a charge for some of y' all to show up. All six weeks. Don't miss this series because I'm believing God's going to do something significant in relationships. Amen. Okay, let's go to our text for today and then you can sit down. Just two verses of scripture. It's going to be our framework for today. Genesis, chapter three. I'm going to look at verses six. And Genesis chapter three, verse number six. It declares, the woman was convinced she saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment. And what a moment that was. Nothing would be the same after this moment. Their eyes were open and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. Can you say amen? This first installment of this six week series, easy to fall. I just want to talk to you today from this thought. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's me. Would you do me a favor? Look at your neighbor, especially if you haven't talked to them today, and get in their personal space. Get in their face. Say neighbor, starting to wonder if it's me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Find somebody else. Find somebody else that needs to really hit in the room. Say other neighbor.

[B]

Have you considered that just maybe it's you?

[A]

Come on. If you believe God's gonna speak, give him some praise today. Oh, Lord, have your way. Amen. You may be seated in the presence of the Lord. Maybe now. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe it's me. Before we dive into the deep end of this series, let me just answer a question that perhaps some of you might be thinking. And that is, why in the world do we as a community take several weeks every single year to talk about relationships? I mean, think about that. Of all the different topics and things we could talk about in church. Why in the world would we take six weeks to talk about relationships? Why does this one matter so much? The answer to that is it's quite simple. How many of you know the quality of your life is deeply connected to the quality of your relationships? Say that one more time. The quality of your life is deeply connected to the quality of your relationships. Think about it. Every amazing moment in your life, every moment when you think about it and you think about the joy and the elation of that moment, I. I'm almost positive that that moment is connected to a person. It's connected to a name. Conversely, if you're honest, the most painful moments of your life, the most gut wrenching, the most heartbreaking moments of your life have a name attached to it, have a person attached to it. Have you ever had somebody do you so wrong and that just to meet somebody else with that name is a trigger for you? I mean, just right at the onset, like what's your name? Fred. Oh yeah, I'm gone. I don't fool with friends, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Have you.

[A]

It's relationships that affect us. Relationships are the currency of life. Our pain and our pleasure in life is inextricably connected to people. And if you don't believe me, we can do the test today in church. Let's just do it since we're here. God is good and all the time, y' all church people, let's try this. People are good. See what happened? That right there shows the pain of relationships. That's why this is so hard. We can all agree on the goodness of God. We can't all agree on the goodness of people. Why? Because relationships are complicated. They are messy, they are unpredictable. People are not as agreeable as chatgpt. I wish they were. You know how Chat GPT does. You can say anything to chat. It's just going to agree. Hey Chad, should I cuss out this co worker right now? And chat will tell you just the fact that you would bring this up shows how self aware that you are. I think you would actually help them if you use more colorful language. People are not agreeable like that. There are issues when you start dealing with people because relationships are complicated. That's why it's hard. And that's why we're starting this series called Easy to Fall. Say Easy to Fall. Easy to Fall. If the series had a tagline, this is the tagline right here. The tagline would be building healthy relationships in a broken world. Building healthy relationships In a broken world. Why do healthy relationships have to be built? I tell you why. Because it's easy to fall. It is so easy to fall. It is easy to fall in love. That's what the psalmist Olivia Dean told us. It's easy to fall in love. Come on. All you gotta do is be older than the second grade and realize that, hey, the opposite sex doesn't have cooties. Anybody can fall in love. Come on. Can we be honest? Have you ever fallen in love? Anybody ever just fallen in love? Isn't that interesting language that we use? We fall into love. We don't say we walk into love. We don't say we wisely choose into love. We say we fall into love. The language is telling on us that we fall into love because nobody plans a fall. It's subliminally suggesting to us that to fall into something means I don't have control over this. It just happened. I didn't plan for this to happen. It just happened. I just thought. And don't get it twisted, because we're going to talk about more than just falling into love in this series. Because how many know we fall into a whole lot of other things, too. Oh, y' all gonna be quiet on me today? We fall into lust, and we fall into habits, and we fall into patterns. And we fall into cycles of addiction. And we fall into bitterness, and we fall into unforgiveness. Have I said yours yet? And we fall into the same person, even though they got a different name. And we fall into adultery and we fall into people's DMs.

[B]

And we fall

[A]

into toxic mentalities. It's the Nobody plans to fall. It's so easy. Easy to fall. I spent way too much time thinking about this this week because it's interesting. Have you noticed almost every nursery rhyme you hear as a kid has something to do with falling? You ever thought about it? Rockabye baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall Jack and Jill went up the hill Jack came tumbling down broke his. That's his cranium. It's always about the London bridges falling down. But we keep talking about the fall Fall.

[B]

The Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

[A]

Had a great fall Some of y' all like, is this what I came to church for? The ring around the rosies Pocket full

[B]

of posies Ashes, ashes We all fall

[A]

down from the time we are young, we are psychologically inundated with this idea of falling as if it is inevitable. You don't have a choice. And if you think you came all the way to Social Dallas to hear nursery rhymes, please don't forget what the apost Paul, that murderer turned church planter, that gospel globetrotter, that tenacious tent maker from Tarshish. Don't forget what he said in Romans, chapter three when he gives us his treatise to the church at Rome. He says, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

[B]

How many?

[A]

All have said, think of the most spiritual person you know. Think of the person that you think. They just float in the room and angels know their name. They're included in that all. I don't care how much you pray. I don't care if you speak in more tongues than the United Nations. I don't care if you had communion for breakfast.

[B]

All put it back on the screen. All have said and

[A]

fall short of the glory of God. Let's ponder that just for a little bit. Because Paul, how come you didn't just stop at all? Have sinned? Wouldn't that be enough? Why would you add and fall short of the glory of God? Isn't that interesting? Perhaps Paul understands that if he stops at all have sinned, we will think that it's just about our behavior that needs to be fixed. And we will obsess about fixing our behavior. I just got to fix my behavior. I just got to do better. I just got to try harder. Has anybody come to the alarming conclusion that you cannot try harder, you have to start over? So Paul says, it's not just that all have sinned. We also have fallen short of the glory of God. Sin is what I've done. Falling short is what I fail to be. Sin is not just about the bad choices. It is the bad choices. But Paul is speaking to a broken condition, which means I don't just have bad moments. I am starting from a broken place. I start falling. Maybe that's why falling is so easy and relationships are so hard, because we start from a place of being fallen. I know I'm supposed to preach this series right now because it's interesting to see this play out in the culture in which we live. Just this week, as I was preparing this message, I came across two different articles. The title of the first article was Dallas is not for Lovers. Dallas is not for Lovers. I know we got people watching all over social, global, family, but it said Dallas is not for lovers. And it talked about a person who was dating an individual, a young man, and it was going good for a Couple of months, nice restaurants, let them move in and had a little closet and all of a sudden got ghosted after eight months of dating. Didn't hear anything from them. And articles talking about Dallas is not not for lovers. And it ranked Dallas. It ranked Dallas. Watch this. As the 50th out of a hundred on a list of cities for singles trying to find love. Dallas wasn't in the top 10. We weren't in the top 20. We were 50th on the list of 100. Some of y' all ready to move right now. You're like, that's why I can't find nobody. We number 50 on the list. And the criteria of the list were for how many singles were in the city and how many, what the nightlife was like. And it went on to talk about the environment was not set for people to find love. But in that same magazine was another article entitled the more the merrier. And this article was talking about a young lady who was practicing for over 10 years now, polyamorous relationships. You know what that is? I was this week old when I learned that polyamorous. Yes. This is when you are having multiple romantic partners at the same time. Yeah, multiple romantic partners at the same time. It's an open relationship. The ideology of polyamorous relationships is the problem is not infidelity or cheating. The problem is the secrecy. So as long as both of us have an understanding, it's a, okay, let's redefine this thing and let's get away with infidelity. Let's just both be open to the understanding that we can have multiple partners. This is what this person was saying, this article. And this young lady was talking about how free she was by not having these restrictions. Free. Free. And I was like, I don't sound like it's free, but it just sounds like it's a quick way to catch a std. But. But maybe it's me. Maybe it's me. And I found it interesting. I found it interesting that these two articles were in the same magazine. And one is saying that the issue is in the city. You got to get out of the city. That's where the problem is. The other one is saying the issue is with the terms. We've defined these terms wrong.

[B]

We need better words.

[A]

And then yesterday we posted a picture on the social Dallas Instagram page. And then we just started asking y'. All, I said, let me ask our church community. What topics do you want us to talk about as we embark on this six week journey? And y' all, oh, y' all started telling on yourselves. You started telling on yourselves the things that started coming in. I'm like, do you know the significant other is probably looking at your post. Talk about husbands who don't want to get a job.

[B]

Talk about in laws that won't mind

[A]

their own business to talk about what to do if they won't sign a prenup. All the questions that came in. Talk about communication and talk about blended families. We got inundated with all kinds of things. Talk about boundaries, talk about mentorship, talk about friendships. And it's not bad. Maybe we'll hit a lot of those things on the list, but it was flooded with a lot of technique. And as I was reading these two articles and reading all the comments on our page, there was one thing I did not see. I noticed something. Not one person in all of those Comments said, hey, P.R.

[B]

the problem is me. The problem in the relationship is me. Help me with me. I am the problem. Nobody said that. And maybe that's the issue, because how many know? Sometimes it's not just what you're dealing

[A]

with, it's what you bring into the relationship. Because the one person you bring into

[B]

every relationship is you.

[A]

Is you. You bring you everywhere you go. Go on a vacation if you want. Guess who you're taking with you. You. Different people, different environments, different situations, Same you. It's the problem with me. And that problem that's in me can be traced all the way back to Genesis Chapter three. The problem with me can be traced back to Genesis Chapter three. I want you to hear me clear today. Every single problem that you have faced and will ever face can be traced back to Genesis chapter three. Anytime you've ever cried yourself to sleep at night, you can trace it back to Genesis chapter three. Anybody that's ever broken your heart, you can trace it back to Genesis chapter three. Anybody that ever betrayed your trust, you can trace it back to Genesis chapter three. Anybody that's ever flipped out on you and you don't know what happened, you can trace it back to Genesis chapter three. If you got something scared last night because you heard the storm and the winds and the waves, you're like, is my house about to blow away? You can trace that to Genesis chapter three. How many know even the earth is groaning because of what sin did when sin entered the world, you can trace it back to Genesis chapter three. All the way back. One scholar said that Genesis three is the pivot upon which the entire Bible turns. In other words, if you want to see perfection in Your Bible. Read chapter one and two of Genesis. And don't turn another page. Don't go past chapter three. If you want to just see perfection, go to one and two. It's like those of y' all who are looking for the perfect church. If you're looking for a perfect church, when you find it, don't go because you will mess it up. Amen. Don't attend. That's the challenge of turning past Genesis chapter one, one and two. Because it is only in those two chapters that we see God's original intention for life on this earth. We see his original design. I love Genesis 1 and 2. It don't get better than that. You walk around naked and you worship God and the original whole food market. It's in Genesis that we understand that God is the creator. Which means I am not my own. I belong to Him. It's in Genesis 1 and 2 where identity is made clear. He created them, male and female. I know we live in a culture that likes gender fluidity, but According to Genesis 1 and 2 is gender clarity. Male and female. And Genesis 1 and 2, purpose is given to them. He says, be fruitful and multiply. I didn't create you to just sit around and do nothing. I actually created you with a purpose. Work preceded the fall of man. You were not created to just play video games all day. You were not created to just sit on your blessed assurance and do nothing. But how many are thankful that God has placed a purpose on humanity?

[B]

There's a reason why I'm here. He gave partnership and connected Adam with Eve.

[A]

Put him to sleep. He wasn't on singles.com. he wasn't on any type of date nap. God did it, put him to sleep, took his rib and created a woman. He gave partnership in the garden in one and two.

[B]

All of a sudden they have a place. They didn't stumble into the Garden of Eden. God says, I know the place where you're going to thrive. He placed them in the Garden of Eden.

[A]

But none of those gifts supersede the greatest gift that Adam and Eve had in the garden. They had his presence. They had the presence of God. They walked with him and they talked with him and they communed with him.

[B]

And I tell you why some of y' all are just giving that little golf clap.

[A]

Cause you don't understand.

[B]

The greatest gift you have is access to the presence of God.

[A]

I'm thankful that his presence is available to me. This is all Genesis 1 and 2. Can you imagine talking with him intimately? There was no distance, no Shame, no hiding, no dysfunction. Then all of a sudden in Genesis 3, everything starts breaking like somebody hitting a domino. There is a ripple effect that we are still feeling the ramifications of today. So shout out to those of you who are like, I can do what I want. It don't affect anybody. Are you crazy? You have no clue how what you're doing is having an impact on the people around you and the people that you have yet to see. I just want to do me. Do you. But just know doing you is affecting somebody else. And Adam and Eve didn't realize the consequences of what happened in Genesis chapter three. Before we even talk about what happened in them, let's understand what happened to them. We're introduced to the serpent Satan. The Bible says in Genesis 3 that he was more crafty than any animal that God had made. That word crafty in the original language speaks to wisdom. It's actually something in Proverbs that you're to have to be wise. That means that this serpent is so strategic, he is watching you, trying to see what's the best way I can attack. He ain't here just firing random shots. He knows exactly what to send your way. He knows your appetite. He is watching your film. I think I told you this before. I never forget the revelation I got watching the Discovery Channel one day and they were talking about snakes. And this announcer had the nerve to say, snakes are the only animal that doesn't blink. Just staring, watching, looking for vulnerability, looking for weakness. Have you lived long enough to realize how come it's the same temptation? How come he knows the exact co worker to say the right thing, thing to set me off?

[B]

How come it's always this time he

[A]

knows what to send your way. And he studied and he watched. But look at the first words that the serpent says to Eve. He said, did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden? Did God really say that? It's interesting forever. When I read that, I thought that the serpent was just trying to get Eve to doubt the word of God. Did God really say you must not eat of any tree in the garden? But what's interesting, if you study this text in the Hebrew, you actually get some clues to the vocal intonation of what he said. It's not just what he said, it's how he said it. The vocal intonation of did God really say that? Is the vocal intonation of somebody more mocking something you ever had somebody mock like, really? Did they really say that? Do you see what the enemy is trying to Do. He's not trying to change God's word per se. He's trying to change how they view God's word. He's trying to make them look at God's Word in a different light. Really? You mean to tell me all these trees here and you can't touch any of them? Really? Have you ever had the enemy hit you with a really? Really? That's what God has planned for relationships? Really? And what's behind that? Really? Here it is. He's trying to get them to view God's word as restrictive instead of protective. He wants you to see the word of God because he attacks his Word and his character. He wants you to see the word of God, especially around relationships. He does this today. He wants you to see it as restrictive instead of protective. And so you're frustrated by the restriction, not realizing the restriction is protection. Like the fish that says, I can't believe I gotta stay in this water. Wish I could be free. Set that fish free and let it get on the land and watch the ramifications of its freedom. He wants you to see God's word, hear me. Please don't miss it. This worth you coming to Sunday as restrictive instead of protective? I see this with my kids all the time. Here it is. You know, I gotta give you a visual. My kids get annoyed because it's like

[B]

I always got a sign saying, ah.

[A]

Ah. Restriction. Restriction. They will eat sugar all day, every day. Morning, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

[B]

Uh, that's too much, man.

[A]

Restrictive. You mean to tell me I can't have ice cream for breakfast? You so restrictive. They'll be playing in the middle of the street. Get out the street, man. Killing my fun. You so restrictive. Isn't it interesting how you can start viewing the word of God as restrict, especially around relationships? That is so restrictive. Only have sex with the person you're married to. Come on, bro. That's so restrictive. The problem with the restriction, if you keep looking at it as the restriction and you keep throwing away the restriction because you're like, I'm tired of that restriction. Understand? You didn't just throw away the restriction, You threw away the protection. And when you get rid of the restriction and you get away from the

[B]

protection in the crazy. You got the nerve and the audacity

[A]

to say, I can't believe God let me go through this. I can't believe my heart's being broken like this.

[B]

I can't believe you wanted freedom from the restriction, but you didn't know when you threw away the restriction, you lost the protection. So I'm not going to get the enemy to make me focus on the restriction. I want to thank God for, for the protection. Thank you Jesus that I have restrictions. That is protection over my life. There's some tears, I don't have to cry if I just obey the restriction. Cuz the restriction is protection.

[A]

Has anybody ever looked back over your life and realized the restriction was the protection? Oh Lord, my dad is here. I'm glad he's in church. I'll never forget growing up. I was the only kid. Anytime they would have like a birthday party and they would have a sleepover at the birthday party. I was the only kid, couldn't go. I would go for the first part of the party and then everybody sleepover and they would know when your dad coming. I was like, I don't know, he'll probably be here about 9 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

That was his rule, we don't do sleepovers. And I used to hate it as a kid. He'd just be there at the doorbell. So let's go, the party is over for you. Come on. Here I am walking around mad, can't believe, can't believe I got to go home, everybody else gets to spend the night. And then I start hearing stories of what happened at the sleepover. Then I start being in ministry and hearing what happens sometimes. And now I look back and I say thank you dad for the restriction.

[B]

I couldn't see it at 13, but at 42 and now that I got kids on my. I realized the restriction was just protection.

[A]

And there are restrictions my kids are complaining about right now that they don't even know is protection. If my kids don't have the cognitive ability at their age to know that the restriction, protection. How you think you know more than God? The God that we will spend eternity getting to know. You think you know more than him? Yeah. You think you can do relationships better than the one that made it? You think you're having a better sex life than the one that created it. And the context he created it for, the restriction is protection. Somebody you just came to church just for that right there, you can leave. That's your word. The restriction is protection. And Adam and Eve walked away from the protection because the enemy got them to see God's word as a restriction. And when he did that, a lie got in their mind and they took of the fruit and they ate. And from that moment, the moment they believed a lie and when everything broke, three things showed up that had never been in the earth before. And I want to argue that every relational problem that you have. Hear me, every relational problem that you have can be traced back at the root of it to these three things that showed up when they believed the lie and ate of the fruit. In a moment, in an instant, they had the feeling of shame, the need to hide and the instinct to blame. The feeling, shame, the need to hide, and the instinct to blame. Shame, hide, blame. Those three things will destroy every relationship that you have. Shame, the need to hide, and blame. Let's just unpack these. Shame. Shame is the first feeling after the fall, is there in verse seven. It says, then the eyes of both of them were opened and they realized they were naked. They had always been naked. Now all of a sudden their eyes are open and they realize it. So they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings. The first effect, don't miss this, of the fall was not conflict, was not distance. It was not blame. The first effect was shame. Before this moment, their nakedness wasn't a problem. There was no insecurity. There was no comparison. There was no self consciousness. There was only God consciousness. There was no fear, fear of fully being seen. They were fully known and fully unashamed. But the moment sin enters the story, everything changes. Now they're aware of themselves, they feel exposed. They feel something they've never felt before. Shame. Can you imagine what it would be like to not feel shame? There's a phrase that I can't stand when people say shame on you. Because shame is one of the most debilitating feelings in the world. And it happened right after the fall. It's interesting. If you look at like a young kid, a toddler, we actually get little glimpses of what life was like before the fall. Come on, you've seen this before. You ever been somewhere and a little toddler just walks in, straight out the bathtub, and it's a whole dinner party going on. They're like, hey, just butt naked. I mean, doesn't have a care in the world here. I apologize. I'm so sorry.

[B]

And.

[A]

Come on, come on, get back in the room. What are you seeing? You're actually seeing just a little glimpse of what life was like before we felt shame. You're seeing just a little glimpse of what life was like before the fall. We had no shame. But as soon as the fall happened, we began to cover. And many of us are still covering today. Have you noticed a little baby? No baby looks at a mirror. No baby comes out and says, give me a mirror. Let me check. No, no, no. Babies are looking for eyes they're just looking for a face. They're looking for the one that adores them. They're not comparing themselves to anybody. And this is what we lost in the garden. We lost the freedom from shame. Shame is different than guilt. Guilt says what I did was wrong. Shame says I am wrong. Shame says there's something wrong with me and I need to hide it. Can I ask you, as the worship team comes, what are you covering today? Because we cover just like our parents. We cover our flaws. We cover our insecurities. We cover the parts of us we don't want people to see. We show up in relationships, but we don't show up real. We show the best and hide the mess because of shame. We cover by image, success, personality, spirituality. Oh, I'm blessed and highly favored. Are you or are you covering the shame? Because in the back of your mind you're thinking, if they really knew me, they wouldn't love me. And when you feel that type of shame, you don't move towards God or towards people. You do the next thing they did. You hide. Bible says that God came looking for them in the cool of the garden. Let's look at it then. The man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And they hid from the Lord. They hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Hold on. Adam and Eve, how you hiding in the very environment that he created for you to connect with him? Isn't that crazy that sin will make you hide in a space and a place. And you should feel freedom to be real and honest. That's how people come to church. In an environment where you should be able to be honest and say, this is my issue. This is what I'm going through. We come to church and we worship and we hide. We do it in our relationships. We do it in our marriages. In a marriage where you should have intimacy. Intimacy, we hide. The very place God designed for relationship, they're now using for distance. Are you hiding today? Withdrawing. Some of you watching online right now. That's why you don't want to come into church. I'll watch it online. I'll hide. You keep things on the surface. You stop answering that phone call. That's where ghosting comes from. It's hide, disappearing. No conversation, no closure, no honesty. And we act like that's just a part of the culture, but it's not new. It's hiding. And honestly, I want to say something to the men in the house today. And this is not to call you out, but to call you up. Nobody hides like us. We can beat the ladies in hiding because we won't communicate what we're going through. I'm good. No, I'm for. No, no, no. Nothing's wrong. And you're hiding and you're withdrawing. And hear me, what I hide can't be healed. Whatever you're hiding, hear me. It cannot be healed. If you want true healing, you've got to bring it out of the secrecy.

[B]

As.

[A]

As ugly as it is, that's the first step to healing, is getting it out in the open. God says, I can't heal what you hide.

[B]

If you don't believe it, ask a doctor. You can't go to a doctor and say, yeah, I'm not feeling good, but

[A]

I don't want you to do the X ray.

[B]

You gotta go in there and say, do the X ray. Because I'm tired of the pain and it's not gonna get better by me covering it. I gotta be open and honest because I want. Want my healing more than I want to keep my image. And I'm talking to somebody today that the first step is for you to stop hiding, get it out in the

[A]

open so you can be healed. The greatest day of freedom in our marriage is when I came to my bride after years of hiding an addiction to pornography. I said, I cannot hide this anymore. And I said, stand here as a testimony that God can set you free and deliver you.

[B]

But it starts with the honesty. Say, I'm tired of hiding.

[A]

I want to be healed. If you keep hiding, guess what? You move into blame. You go from shame to hiding to blame. Come on, let's look at it. So you know I'm the. In the text, first thing Adam says when God says, did you eat of the tree? I told you not to. The man said, the woman you put here with me, she gave me some of the fruit of the tree and I ate it.

[B]

Look at what he says. The serpent deceived me and I ate.

[A]

It's Adam's that messes me up. Because he doesn't stop at the woman. It's her fault.

[B]

He takes it further.

[A]

The woman you gave me. Hold on, player.

[B]

You blaming your wife and God, that's where you are. You're blaming and you're messed up, Adam. Because I love what the apostle Paul

[A]

lets us know in second Timothy.

[B]

He lets us know something that you

[A]

got to get to the New Testament.

[B]

It says, and it was not Adam

[A]

who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived and sin was the result.

[B]

Adam, she got tricked. You didn't get tricked. You were there the whole time. You knew it was wrong, but because you're hiding, you don't say anything. And hear me, that's the trick of the enemy, especially for men. He wants you to sit back and be silent while the enemy takes your children and takes your wife and takes a generation. But I'm believing God's going to raise up some mighty men of God who say, I'm not going to sit back and say nothing when I see the devil coming after my home. I'm going to raise up a standard and say, not in my house, not in my generation. Where the man who will stand up and say something, Adam should have stepped in and said, we don't talk to snakes in this house.

[A]

The enemy wants you just to hide. Because if he can get you to hide, he can get you to blame. Why did we have to start this series this way? Because you bring you to every relationship, a healthy relationship. Are two healthy people coming together? Maybe it's me. Have you come to that conclusion that maybe it's you, you're the common denominator in the relationship? Or you're going to spend your entire life walking around in shame, hiding and blaming. But let's look at it. Even if you say, I want to live my life in shame, I want to live my life hiding, and I want to live my life blaming other people like Adam, I'll blame God. It's my dad's fault. He wasn't there. It's your fault. If you would have showed up for me, if you would have been more available, I wouldn't have had the affair. It's their fault. It's my mama's fault. It's in my blood. We can blame all kinds of people. We can stay stuck in shame. We can hide, we can blame.

[B]

But have you noticed that even when you do all that, there's still only one person that you gonna have to look at? Because even in shame, I still gotta deal with me in the middle of hot. I am in the middle and blame me is in the middle. And I came to tell somebody. Maybe it's you. And how many know you can't cover you because Adam and Eve didn't cover themselves? Thank God that he already had a plan before the foundation nation of the earth, God said, where are you, Adam? I'm not coming to kill you. If you'll be honest, I'm coming to cover you. Is there anybody thankful for a God that Slayed an animal and covered them with the skins of that animal and said, adam, guess what? I already had a plan before you fail, and if you would just be honest and let me cover you. Thank God for Jesus. I'm not standing here because my record is perfect. I'm standing here because the record of Jesus is perfect. Somebody give us some praise in this place today.

[A]

Would you stand to your feet? Came to tell somebody today to consider, is it you? You gonna spend your whole life pointing the finger at somebody else? Or we could start this series off with some honesty and say, here it is. What am I trying to cover up that God says I want to provide a covering for? There's a difference between a cover up and a covering. A cover up is when you're in shame and you're hiding and you're blaming and you're trying to protect your image. But a covering is when you come to God saying, God, this is the issue. It's me, and I'm tired of pointing the finger. Start with me and watch how that affects every relationship that you have. I'm gonna ask heads be bowed and eyes be closed. Today I truly believe this series is going to change generations. It's gonna change legacies, it's gonna change our church. But it starts with you considering, is it me, God? What do you want to do in me? Hear me, when you get to heaven, you will not stand even in heaven before God with your spouse or your mama's faith. You will stand as an individual. What does he want to do in me? It's the question I'm asking today. And with heads bowed and eyes closed, to be so honest, say, hey, pr, there's some things that I've been hiding. Maybe you've been walking in the shame and distancing yourself from community and people. And maybe you've been playing the blame game as you say. Today, I want to begin this series off right, saying, God, do a work in me. If you're in here today. And you know that even right now, the Holy Spirit is highlighting some things in you that need to be addressed. And you're saying today, God, I'm tired of carrying this. I'm giving it to you. Desti, would you just lift up your hand as a sign to say, God, I'm giving it to you today. Thank you, God. I see those hands. Thank you, Lord. Anybody else just lifted up high enough and long enough to where I can see it? Thank you, God. God, thank you that you are the great surgeon. God, don't let us approach you like we approach people trying to show the good parts. You know us and you love us. Anybody else? Thank you God. Heads still bowed. I'll still close. If you're here today and you say, hey PR I. I've never even taken that first step, which is to say, jesus, my life is yours. Maybe you've been saying, I got to get myself together before I come to God. You can't get yourself together. All have sinned and fall short. It's easy to fall, but today it begins. Confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart that Jesus is Lord. If that's you and you say, hey PR Would you include me in this closing prayer? I need to give him my life today. Would you just lift up your hand high enough and long enough to where I could see it? I don't care if it's just one person, you're worth it. I see that hand. Thank you Jesus. I see that hand. Thank you God. I see that hand. This is what God wants. Don't run from a God that loves you. Run to him. A covering is better than a cover up. Anybody else, just lift it up. Thank you God. Can we repeat this prayer as one big family? I'm going to give you the words, but you say it from your heart. It's especially those of you who lifted up your hand the second time. Would you say this? Say, jesus, I need you. I cannot do life without you. Lord, today it's me. I'm coming to you. I'm not hiding. I'm tired of the shame.

[B]

I'm tired of blaming.

[A]

I need you. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me clean, make me brand new. From this moment forward, I'm not running from you, I'm running to you. I receive your covering. Thank you for living the life that I was supposed to live and dying the death that I was supposed to die. You took my place. I am yours in Jesus name. Come on, somebody give God the best hand clap of praise that you got. Come on, you can do better than that. Would you give Jesus some praise today? Come on, can we really celebrate?

[B]

There were so many hands that just

[A]

crossed over from death to life.